


Come Home

by Lehuka



Category: Maleficent (Disney Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: A reminder, ALSO THE READER IS FAE, Angry Odin (Marvel), Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Asgard (Marvel), Asgardian Culture (Marvel), Asgardian Loki (Marvel), Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avenger Reader (Marvel), Dancing, Did i mention Lokitty?, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Loki (Marvel), Fluff, Friendship/Love, Fun times with the Avengers, Good Loki (Marvel), Homelessness, I think I missed some characters but whatever, I will add more tags as we go along... don’t want to spoil anything, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Little amount of y/n, Loads of characters, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Loki is a flirt, Loki-Love, Lokitty, Long, Lots of Angst, Love Confessions, New York City, Odin (Marvel)'s Bad Parenting, Original Character(s), Possessive Loki (Marvel), Post-Avengers (2012), Powered, Protective Loki (Marvel), Reader-Insert, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Soft Loki, Sweet, Training, Wordcount: Over 100.000, canonish, cat!Loki, follows MCU storyline but with some changes, im avoiding it, reader is fae, slow, this will have some dark bits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:14:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 61
Words: 232,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21617449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lehuka/pseuds/Lehuka
Summary: A black cat appears in the park you inhabit.You are happy for a friend.What ends up happening... is so much more.For everything is not what it seems, especially if you’re winged.Eventually, you find that everything has changed. New life, new friends, new dangers. And most importantly... new love.And then even more: uncertainty and unknowns, mystery and outrage. Anguish. Adoration. The lines are blurred.(Updates Every Other Saturday (( the next chapter will be 2/27/2021)) )
Relationships: Loki (Marvel) & Reader, Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 873
Kudos: 894





	1. 1-1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you meet a stranger.

**July 21**

The first time the small handsome black cat showed up, you immediately jumped down from your leafy perch, flapping your wings to flow your fall off the Elm to stop right in front of the kitten. The cats pupils turned to slits and he backed up quickly, hissing loudly. You quickly smooth back your hair to attempt to hide your horns (they’re way too tall to be ignored without an illusion, curving outwards and then back towards inwards again… they’re about as tall as your face and the colour of a rams). Your wings, the wings of a dark fae (in particular, a tawny brown with gold flecks, a large claw on the apex of each wing), flap once before settling on your back. You sit in the grass of the park, with the East River flowing behind you and the looming bridge above. It’s a beautiful park, one of the better places you’ve squatted in after coming out of foster care with little to nothing. There were bathrooms and lots of leftovers, and the trees had given you help to make a little alcove where you could sleep. 

You hold a hand out to the kitten, who looks at you in apprehension and fear, and coo to him, “It’s okay, you needn’t be afraid of me. I won’t hurt you _minou_.” The kittens apprehension slowly fades, and he slowly approaches you. You extend a hand to him, and watch as he investigates it. His eyes are wide and a vibrant green. The kitten huffs his approval and turns up his nose at you. You bring your hand back to your mouth to try and hide your laugh. 

He mews, but it sounds more like a scoff. 

“I’m only teasing _chaton_!” The French rolls off your tongue easily, the language being a remnant of a particularly French roommate you had in a foster home a while back. You stretch out your wings behind you, and they extend wide enough to cast a large shadow over the kitten. He hisses at them and backs up, his fur standing on end. You quickly pull them back to rest against your back.

“Sorry, sorry! They’re just a little sore…” The kitten turns to leave and you reach out to him. 

“Please! I’ve got no one to talk to, please, stay a bit longer chaton.” His wide green eyes turn back to you for a moment and then he meows, a half baked promise, and leaves. Your heart falls.

“Well, that’s okay I guess. I’m sure you have better things to do. An owner probably,” you laugh a small bitter laugh to yourself, “why would you stay with a dark fae? Why would anyone?”   
  


**August 26th**

The kitten showed up again, much to your surprise. You were just sitting on the branch of a tree, munching on a bag of chips like one does when a certain black cat crossed your path. 

“Well hello down there! Nice to see you again chaton!” His tail swishes behind him as he investigates you. You’re wearing the average hoodie (with slits in the back so your wings can pop out... hard to get in there but totally worth it) and leggings, nothing special. 

“Mrrow.” He says, sounding very bored. Making quick work of the chips, you glide down to the kittens level. He lets out a little huff at your arrival. 

“What, not happy to see me?” 

“Mew.”

“Hmm. Why’d you come back then?” You’ve got him there. The kitten looks at you with an open expression that can only be described as “I dunno”. You chuckle a little bit at the very humanlike cat. 

“Hmm. Would you like to take a walk with me down by the waters edge?” This takes him by surprise. 

“Meow?”

“The sun should be setting soon. It’s quite beautiful to watch. I think you’d like it, minou. I get the feeling you have a penchant for beautiful things.” You start to walk, and to your delight, the kitten follows. You’ve piqued his curiosity and are excited that he didn’t run from you. 

As you walk together, you make sure to keep your wings tucked and not to touch him. We’re not there yet. He’ll come around though. 

You have the utmost confidence in this budding friendship. If he’d come back once, what stops it from happening again?

The sunset proves to be quite lovely, whirls of colour mingling with the wisps of clouds. You settle on a park bench, and allow enough space for the cat to sit next to you. He stares at you intently. 

“Mrow.” Thank you for showing me this, he seems to say. 

“Anytime, mon minou.” You rest your head on the bench, and let the sounds of the river lapping at the side of the stone barrier lull you into a comfortable slumber. You hear the sound of the cat jumping off the bench next to you, soft sweet words, and then nothing as you sleep deeply.  _ He must think I’m so dull…  _

**September 17th**

The kitten prances back into your corner of the park later soon after. You were playing in the grass when you hear his meows. 

“Chaton?” He locates you and and meows loudly. 

You perk up immediately. “You c-came back!” He mews as if to say ‘of course I did’. You throw your head back to laugh. You meet his eyes and whisper, “Thank you.”  _ What am I doing he’s a cat for god's sakes… whelp. I’ll take what I can get. _

You move your hands around above the kittens face in a motion you’ve practiced many times. He watches, enraptured, as you call your magic to your fingers (a warm golden colour) and make an illusion of small flying fish around his head. He cocks his head curiously and swats at one of them. 

“They’re illusions, minou. Not real!” You wave a hand and disappear them. “I can get pretty close to real if I focus though.”

He meows and lifts his head. 

“Mhmm, not easily impressed are you little prince?” He seems to like this and purrs his appreciation. Immediately he jumps up, eyes wide. He turns around in circles, following his tail. You could almost see the thoughts going through his head: ‘where’d that noise come from?’ You can’t help the laugh that escapes you. He glares at you in his cat way that you’d  _ dare  _ laugh at him, but that only makes you laugh more. It’s the most you’ve laughed in a long time. 

“Well. Are you going to leave now…? Or do you have time to hear my whole life story?” You meant it sarcastically but the cat promptly sits down in the grass in front of you and looks at you attentively. 

“Oh!” You say, sitting up in the grass to face him, “Alright then.” 

“Well, I was abandoned when I was really little. Probably because of the, you know, wings and horns. Except then, there had been a glamour over them and I had no idea that I was any different from everyone else. Until the glamour suddenly disappeared. I have some theories but I have no idea why it happened. I showed up at the foster home with a crazy fallen angel look. It just happened that that home was very very very religious...out of sheer need and defense my… abilities… kind of burst in. They were going to lock me up or something. Probably thought I was the devil,” you laugh a little, and the cat hisses. Shouldn’t be laughing about that, he seems to say.

“Well I made an illusion over their minds about me. My magic was so out of control, I didn’t really know what I was doing. The whole family, they just… forgot. I was ten at the time. 

Over the next eight years I bounced from home to home, some horrible and some I adored, trying and failing to keep an illusion on my wings almost all the time. The strain was incredible, not that you could know that minou, but because expending magic almost 24 hours a day is terrible to try and keep up. Eventually, usually within a year but sometimes only a month or so, the illusion failed. I wiped their memories, placed something else there, and was shipped off to a new home. The second I could leave that system, I did. But, what do you know, it’s kind of hard to live on your own! So here I am. Living in a park, working when I can, scavenging when there’s no work. Using illusions to hide from the cops. Alone, usually. Which has been fine. But it’s better with more, won’t you agree minou?”

He meows in affirmation. You crack a smile. You reach out a hand to touch him,  _ he looks so soft… _

The kitten’s chest rises and falls quickly as your hand gets closer. His ears flatten when you get a mere inch away. Right before you touch him, he hisses softly. You retract the hand. The kitten gets up, and darts away. 

“Sorry!” You shout out.  _ I hope I didn’t scare him away for good… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts! This fic is going to be LONG. I’ve already written all of part one, and that took me forever. 
> 
> So. Stay with me! I’ll upload a new chapter approximately every week.


	2. 1-2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a stranger becomes a friend.

**September 29th**

You were just rereading “The Princess Bride” for the hundredth time in your Elm when a stranger appears in your swath of green in the park. He’s well-dressed, very fancy. Too fancy. And oddly familiar. Your brain starts to swirl with what he could be doing here. Before you can be discovered, you spin a powerful illusion over yourself, allowing yourself to become hidden. 

“Is there anyone here?” He says, and you almost gasp at his elegant honeyed voice, silvery and sweet. He sounds like someone from a fairytale. You take a quick look at your book accusingly. _I swear to god if I just summoned a Wesley..._

The thought vanishes as the man turns in a circle and you get a better look at his face. Sharp blue eyes with green around the edges, long raven black locks, features starkly elegant. You startle to realize how you know this guy: Loki. Asgardian who tried to rule the human race a while back, now working with the Avengers. There was reasoning why he wasn’t psychopathic, mind control, yadda yadda. You personally believe that everyone deserves a second chance, and are happy that he has an opportunity for retribution. The rest of New York? Not so much. 

His eyes seem to catch yours for moment, and you hyperventilate a little. _He can’t see me he can’t see me he can’t see me_

Sure enough, he looks way, and settles down on a nearby park bench. To your surprise, he pulls out a book and begins to read. You watch for a few minutes as he just keeps turning pages, intent on the words on them. 

You shrug, confident with your illusion, and go back to reading. Imagine what people would say if they could see the two of you sort-of reading together, you say to yourself. It’s funny. The silence, except the normal park noises, is companionable. 

Loki finishes his book around an hour later. He stands, taking one last glance around the park, and magics the book away with sparks of green magic. Your eyes widen at such a nonchalant use of magic. He looks around again.

“I know you’re hiding somewhere here... I’d like it if you would show yourself to me. Have a little talk, perhaps?” You’re suddenly terrified. Your mind swarms with images of white laboratories and smoky gypsies. It seems he can sense your fear somehow, and he moves his hands in a calming motion.

“You don’t have to, I just want to talk...” Fearing for your safety, you keep the illusion intact as you leap from the tree and fly far far away. _I can’t risk it. What I have here is enough. I can’t let it be stripped away._

**October 14th**

It’s a few weeks before you see the cat again. You’d even stayed in the field he liked to meet in for a while, so it’ll be easier to find you. When he never showed, you tried to forget about him. _It’s easier that way._ To be honest, you can’t take another loss. 

You’re walking through the park looking for spare food, blankets, money, anything, when you hear meows from the meeting spot. 

The kitten appeared next to you. He meows loudly, and you can hear his tiny tummy rumble.

“Hungry, are we?” You chuckle. He shoots you a look. He looks towards a dirty water dog cart a ways away.

“I don’t have any money minou. I’m sorry.” He protests loudly, pawing at the grass. You realize what he’s saying. 

“I try not to use my powers to get what I want. I’d rather not eat for a week than _steal_ ,” The kitten’s eyes widen and he swats at your hand. You pull back your hand quickly and try to calm him down. 

“It’s okay, really! I have a job so that very nearly never happens.” Content, the kitten sits again. Suddenly you remember the remanients of your lunch from earlier. You’ve been holding down a steady job, barista at a local coffee shop. It’s one of the good ones: no particularly nosy coworkers, didn’t ask for an address when you applied, and minimal focus needed. It’s better for the illusion to stick if you are able to focus on it. They even let you take some sandwiches when you needed to. 

“Come on minou, let me show you something,” you tell him as you arise from the grass. The black cat stands and follows you loyally. His gait is very royal. It’s funny to watch. You freeze suddenly. The cat walks forward for a bit, but quickly notices you’ve stopped and wheels around. 

“Mrow?” 

“Sorry, but I just realized that I should probably ask if you have like, rabies or fleas or something…” the cat shoots you a look a pure horror and objection. ‘As if!’ He seems to say. You wave it off.

“Okay, okay I just had to ask,” you laugh, and the cat meows in protest. 

“Come on, come on, we’re almost there, minou.” Finally, you make it to the destination you wanted to show your furry new friend. You stand before a huge tree, the trunk almost the width of your wingspan, and branches scraping the sky overhead. You place a hand on the bark, and whisper to it.

“Meow?” 

You shush him, and continue talking to the tree. Dark Fae are known to be connected to nature, and you are able to use that ability. Not exceptionally, you can’t make a tree do what you want or make vines to go and trap people, but enough that you can politely ask this huge tree to let you in. When you first came to this park, you had found that this tree was right over a small fallout shelter. One that you now use as a home. It’s not a lot, but enough. The kitten doesn’t know this though, and continues to look confused as he watches you work your magic.

Before long, the tree parts like a curtain, and you climb down the stairs that appear beyond it. 

“Let’s go minou!” You watch as he tries to be haughty about it, but you can tell he’s curious. Mewing softly, the black cat follows you into the depths of the tree. 

-

The room is nothing much, you know that, but it’s home. You busy yourself with the small refrigerator that you’ve plugged into the parks electricity, trying to find something to feed the cat. 

Behind you, the cat explores the small room. He prowls over the nest of worn blankets and ripped pillows that is your bed, the pile of library books in the corner, some meager toiletries. You finally ready the tuna fish, a small half sandwich for you and a large dish of tuna for the cat. You know that you should probably be eating more, but its in your nature to be caring for others before yourself. Kind of an issue really. 

“Bon Appetit, mon minou!” You call, and settle on a rug that you’d picked up streedside, patting the space beside you. Seemingly despite himself, the kitten trots over to you and plops down with a grunt. You chuckle a little and hand him his food. 

As you both munch in companionable silence, you decide to yet again start a conversation with the cat you now consider your friend. _He’s stuck around longer than anyone else would have anyway…_

“So, does your, erm, owner feed you well?” His head raises from the tuna fish and looks at you demeaningly. 

‘ _You dare insinuate that_ **_I_ ** _have an_ **_owner_ ** _?”_

“Hm, yes, yes I know. You’re a king in your own right.” He makes a little affirmative haughty huff, which makes you laugh. Which makes him stare at you for a while before turning back to his food. You quirked an eyebrow at him before taking another bite of your sandwich. 

“But… you do have a home, right, chaton? Someone to look after you, and feed you?” He ignores you, and goes right on eating. 

“Minou?” He stops eating. He turns to you, almost sheepishly. 

“Mew.” He says. Obviously, you don’t speak cat, but it seems very much like a ‘not really’. You cup your hand to your mouth. 

“Well, I guess we’re both in the same boat here, aren’t we?” You whisper to him. The kitten meows softly upon taking in your expression. A small sob escapes your lips despite you trying to reign yourself in. _I don’t want to scare him away again._ You start to wipe away the tears that were forming in your eyes. _I deserve to be like this, I chose this, but this poor kitten has done nothing._ It breaks your heart. The kitten mews again, this time daintily placing his small paw on your knee. 

“Mew? Mew?” A tear runs down your face. The cat looks at you with wide green eyes, trying to catch your gaze. You can hear his little heart beating fast as you close your eyes and attempt to get yourself together. 

You gasped as the small cat, who has taken so long to trust you at all, crawls into your lap. He purrs into your stomach, attempting to make you feel better. He rubs his head on your midsection affectionately. You start to pet him calmingly. _He’s so soft and somehow well groomed._ The kitten purred loudly at your touch, pushing into your caresses. Soon your tears dry and are replaced by laughter as he licks your arm. You hug him tighter. 

“You know, you’re welcome here anytime, mon minou. You’re, my only real friend.” 

“Mew!” He chirps happily. 

He leaves a little while later after he’s sure your tears have dried and that you feel better. It’s sweet, and just showing that he cares makes you feel like everything might just be alright. 


	3. 1-3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a particular cat is mysterious.

**November 3rd**

  
You happily watch the kitten eat fresh fish that you’d gotten for him. He’s become a fixture in your life by now, coming at least once every week or so. It’s gotten cold, but you are almost entirely immune to it (one of the better qualities of being a Fae… you rarely get cold and the kitten seems to be good with it as well.) You always made a point to get food for him, and he always ate it. Your stomach makes an angry noise, and you groan quietly.  
  
“Mrow?” The cat asks worriedly. He walks away from his food and brushes against your leg.  
  
“No, no don’t worry about me. Keep enjoying your food chaton.” He doesn’t let up.  
  
“Okay, okay,” you relent to him, “I haven’t eaten this week. Got fired a little while ago.” The cats eyes widen. He rushes over to his dish and tries to push it towards you.  
  
“That’s yours! I can’t...” He growls at you, and rushes out of the room.  
  
“I’m fine!” You scream at his fleeting figure. The minute he’s gone though, you slump against the wall. The lack of food has made you exhausted, too exhausted. You’ve lacked food before, but not like this. _Probably because I keep feeding that backstabbing cat._ You close your eyes.  
  
It feels like only minutes before you’re awoken again by loud almost hysterical meowing. The kitten is back, and he has with him a large brown bag.  
  
“Heyyy there. What’s that?” He nudges the bag towards you insistently. You open the bag to discover it filled with food. Random things from someone’s fridge it seems. There’s a half a sandwich, some cold cuts, an entire loaf of bread (how did that fit in?), even some raw eggs. Your mouth starts to water, but you resist. 

“I-I can’t take this. This is someone else’s food! Please, give it back to them minou,” you beg of him. He growls at you. Literally growls. He pushes the food towards you again. 

“Are-are you sure they won’t mind?” The kitten meows loudly and pushes the bag into your lap. 

“Okay, okay!” You laugh, and set to opening the bag. _I’m sure they won’t miss it anyway if a_ **_cat_ ** _could steal it._

You unpack the food and put the things that need to stay cold in the refrigerator. You feel the kittens eyes on your back the whole time. To your surprise, there’s a note in the bottom of the bag. It reads, in dark green script:

“Please eat. It would help no one if you starve. These are for you. 

  * A Friend” 



You look at the kitten with an eyebrow raised. He just meows innocently. _Whatever, it’s food._

You try to ignore the ravenous growling of your belly as you carefully unwrap the sandwich and take a bite. It tastes amazing being the only thing you’ve eaten all week. 

“Thank you, mon minou. And say thanks to that friend of yours. This… means more than you can ever know.”

**December 25th**

You’re sunning your wings in rare bit of sun when you hear the explosion. It’s coming from about a mile away, but still incredibly loud (especially to your hypersensitive ears). You turn to the sound and watch in awe as the Avengers battle some threat. Thor and Iron Man fly around shooting lightning and repulsor blasts, and if you listen close enough you can hear the others. Captain America is throwing his shield, Hawkeye notches an arrow, Black Widow kicks an enemy in the face with a loud smack, the Hulk ‘smash’es over and over, and finally, Loki weaving magic almost silently or the elegant swish of his blades. It might be because of the fact that he had almost seen you that day, but you’ve taken an interest in the mysterious god. 

You turn your ears away as another explosion sounds. You train your eyes on the sky when Thor lifts the Captain and Hawkeye into the air, whereas the Widow is holding onto Iron Man's leg as they fly off, Hulk following close behind on the rooftops. _Never a dull day in New York._

You start to brush your fingers through your wings, cleaning them up. It surprises you when you hear shallow, pitiful, meows. 

“Minou? Where… oh.” The kitten comes into view and you are terrified of what you see. He’s bruised and beaten, blood coming out of large gashes in his abdomen. _I can fix this, I can do it._ It’s been ages since you’ve used your healing magic, but you feel it there. All Dark Fae have it, a helpful power that comes from their connection to the earth. Nurturing life. 

“Mew…” 

“I know I know, I can help. Let me help you, mon minou.” You scoop him into your arms. He lets you, all the resistance seeped out of him. He squeaks in pain. You shush him as you cradle him in one arm, calling your magic to the other hand. _What kind of fight did he have to be in to be hurt this bad?_

“I’ve got you. You don’t have to be scared anymore.” He meows softly and snuggles best he can into your chest. Your hand heats as golden hued magic encases it. You carefully guide it onto the kittens tired form, humming to him all the while to keep him calm. The magic takes easily, quickly reversing the wounds. It closes the gaping wounds and puts him back in a good state of health. The strain isn’t bad at all… in fact, it feels good to actually be using your magic in a productive way. You can’t use it on yourself, so it was never of any use to you when you got hurt. 

The kitten purrs softly, a sign that he feels better, and starts to drift off in your arms. You kiss the top of his head, between his little cat ears. He purrs louder in your arms, and you chuckle quietly. 

As he sleeps in your arms soundly, you sit and lean against a tree. Making sure there’s an illusion set around you both, you let yourself drift off in the afternoon sun as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had some extra time today, so here's some Lokitty to get you through the rest of this week. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	4. 1-4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a cat (and a man) learn to fly.

**January 16th**

The second that the kitten comes into view, you jump down in front of him.

“Chaton!!” You burst. He’s startled at first, but takes in your grin and just cocks his head instead of complaining. 

“I have a surprise for you,” you say excitedly, booping his little nose. His eyes go adorably cross eyed as he follows your finger, and you laugh. He makes a happy purr. 

“Okay, okay, here it is!” You produce an object from behind you back. 

“Mrrrow?” He’s confused, and probably rightfully so. You’re holding a baby sling after all. 

“I found it a little while ago and I figured that… you could come fly with me. I could put you in this and you can come with me! If you’d like, of course.” 

You’ve gotten a new job. Easy stuff, at a local library that you’ve always loved. Life was still hard, but considerably easier. Less time with your kitten, but he still was around all the time, and like to pick you up from work. Your coworkers were a little confused, but it’s New York after all, and strange things happen all the time. The cat does a little jump.

”Let’s do this!” You cheer, and put on the sling. You help him into it, and he rubs his soft head into your hands as you assist.

“Hm, feeling affectionate today are you minou?”, you tease. He huffs in response. With him settled in the sling, you secure it on yourself. 

“Make sure to hold on, mon minou. I’d hate for you to fall out,” he makes a surprised noise, but before he can think about the safety of this choice, you whoop and take off.

Truly, there’s nothing like flying. Before this kitten came into your life, it was irrevocably the best part of your existence. You could go wherever you wanted, and the sheer freedom was exhilarating. 

You flap your wings hard a few times to gain some height, before shooting forward. You could go faster, sure, but you think that your passenger would prefer it if you took it easy at first. A quick glance finds the kitten with his claws digging into the fabric of the sling but eyes wide with the beauty of the flight. 

You soar above the water, before turning back to the buildings of NYC. You weave between buildings, a route you’ve done many times before, and gain speed to soar above the buildings themselves. You dive back towards the water, keeping your wings tight to shoot downwards. You let out a shrill cry of excitement before dipping into the water. The ends of your wings trail in the brackish water as you flap them. 

The kitten meows at his reflection in the water. You giggle and then pull up, to circle around the Williamsburg Bridge before settling on top of it. You look to the kitten in the sling on your chest, whose hair is all mussied but seems overall just as exhilarated from the experience.

“Chaton, how was that?” He lets out a series of happy meows, which makes you laugh again. You let him out of the sling.

“Don’t fall off, okay? I’ll catch you, but it would be unnecessarily scary for both of us so let’s just not do that…” He meows his consent. You sit cross legged to watch the sunset, and the kitten jumps in your lap and curls up, his tail swishing against your leg. You pet him soothingly, and he purrs loudly.  _ How strange, that once he didn’t even want to get close to me.  _

You can feel him start to doze off in your lap despite his attempts to stay awake, the haughty but sleepy kitten, and you kiss his head.

“You don’t have to worry chaton. I won’t let anything happen to you. You’re safe with me. I won’t leave.” He tries to meow in response but it turns into a sigh as he passes out. You smile at the cute image in your lap. He loses a lot of his hubris when he’s asleep, his striking green eyes fallen shut.  _ Sweet kitten.  _ You brush the spot you know he adores behind his ears, and shield you both from the elements with your grand wings. 

His quiet breathing on your stomach lulls you into a deep sleep. 

**January 17th - Loki**

_ How could I be so foolish?  _ Loki berates himself. He’d given into the lovely Fae once again. But this time, he’d really done it: fallen asleep on her lap? To be fair, he was in a form that slept much more than he did, but it does not negate the fact that he had violated the agreement that he’d signed off in upon coming to Midgard. He was always up for a little mischief but this may just get him locked up for a while. 

Loki sped up his gait. The sun barely up, and here he was, dashing through this metal jungle to go back to the Tower. Stark was going to have his head. But as much as he says this… does he regret it? Because if he lets himself think about it, being on her lap, and her gentle hands caressing his body, hearing her whisper sweet nothings… it makes his body fill with a delightful warmth. Beautiful winged vixen. 

Just thinking of her swarms his head with wondrous memories. Her crystalline laugh, the way she beams when he’d purr for her, when she trusts him, time and time again. A small smile appears on Loki’s face. He knows she only sees him in a feline form, but it is still more love than he’s felt in years. His whole life, maybe. 

He makes it to the blasted tower. Too soon. He is most certainly not excited to see the Avengers. He could sneak into his room, but then the machine JARVIS would alert them anyway.  _ Might as well get this over with.  _ Loki runs a hand over his hair, smoothing it back, and then walks through the doors. 

He takes the elevator to the residential floors. Sure enough, in the expansive living space right outside the elevator lobby, there is ‘the team’. All eyes turn to him as he enters.

“Well, Reindeer Games, where the hell were you all night? Got some world-destroying plans you’d like to share with the class?” 

Stark glares at Loki. Loki sneers right back. 

“Now, now, good man of iron, Loki wasn’t doing anything,” Thor tries to intervene, the bumbling git, “were you, brother?” Anger sparks at the name.  _ ‘Brother’? What don’t you understand, Thor?  _ But for now, Loki isn’t stupid enough to ignite an argument further.

“Yes… I was just walking the length of the city. It is quieter at night.” A convincing lie. He can tell that most of the team doesn’t believe him, but Thor claps Loki on the back and lets out a loud laugh.

“Yes, Loki always liked his strolls back on Asgard!” It’s hard to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Loki offers a small illegitimate smile. The Widow shrugs and goes back to her phone. Everyone seems to accept this. Until…

“Hey, has it got anything to do with that time you emptied out the fridge? There a pretty lady somewhere eating the other half of my sandwich?” the arrowsmith, Clint he recalls, pipes up. Loki stiffens.  _ She needed it more than you ever did, you inconsiderate twit. She was starving herself.  _ He hisses softly at Clint, a feline attribute, but quickly bites his tongue.  _ Control yourself. You are the master of your own form.  _

Loki composes himself speedily and retorts snidely, “That was simply because I was hungry. I took what I wanted.” 

This works. Clint makes a huff of annoyance. They expect Loki to do things like steal food he didn’t need, just to spite them. Loki doesn’t really care.

He could not bear if they found you… and used you to control him. He could not let you become a liability. 

Loki darts out of the room, elegant enough to make it seem like it wasn’t an eloquent set of lies the entire time. He reaches his room, feeling the security cameras follow him (He’d made a joke about it earlier, ‘don’t you trust me not to jump out the windows?’. The answering silence was overwhelming). 

He closes the door behind him, and slides down the back of it.  _ Disaster averted.  _ She remains safe a day more. It’s only as he holds his chest with a hand, waiting for his heart to return to a normal pace, that he realizes two important facts. 

The first: he’d left you utop a bridge. How in Hel was a cat supposed to get off of the bridge?  _ She must think I’ve drowned, or gotten run over.  _ There is a moment where self hate flows through his veins at the idea that you are worried. That he has made you think he is dead. How horribly ironic. 

The second: he is, totally and irrevocably, in love with you. His heart stretches like taffy in his chest at the thought. Your name flows through him with each beat of his heart, and you are the one purely golden idea in his mind. He cradles your golden image in his head, the wings you thought were monstrous nothing short of angelic, the horns not a mark of demonic tendencies but of beauty, mirthful eyes that held such intelligence… Loki smacks his head roughly. 

_ She thinks you’re a cat, you dolt. She’ll never love you, not in the way you do.  _ He breathes out and stands.  _ Even if I cannot love her in the way she deserves, I will at the very least be there for her.  _

Of course he remembers how your loneliness feels. He could practically taste your emotion, the sadness whenever he left. That alone made him long to stay. So he always returned. The happiness on your face was enough that he could bear snide comments from the Avengers. 

It is easy to slip into the feline form. Too easy. Loki understands the rules of magics, and he knows that the near constant changes would take a toll on him. It became so simple to be catlike. He almost lost control in front of the Avengers. 

Then everything would be over. The ‘gig would be up’ as Stark would say. And he doesn’t think he could stand that. They’d say to go see you and explain, in his normal form. But no, no they didn’t understand.

You hate him. You must hate him, or be scared of him, which is probably even worse. Why else would you hide from him? Why else would you run? He saw, of course he did, as the master of illusions, you reading in the tree that one day months ago. You’d  _ flown  _ away. Even after he said that he wouldn’t hurt you. Breathing out evenly, Loki produces a clone of himself, him as a human, to stay in the room. He makes the clone go to bed.  _ Perfect.  _

He shields himself from view and darts outside the tower, dashing to the spot that Loki knows you’d be at. 

He runs fast, faster than a cat on any of the nine realms should, and hopes that no one questions it. He focuses on your familiar presence, the rolling warmth of your thoughts comforting, highlighting your location. A useful ability, for causing mischief and for locating flight-prone females. 

He starts meowing loudly as he gets close.  _ Where are you, darling my darling?  _ He hears you crying before he sees you. It makes his chest constrict painfully.

You lie on the cold ground, splayed by the tree you’d first met. Tears flow from your eyes freely, and you’re sobbing loud enough that you could not hear Loki’s approach.

_ No no no. It’s okay, I’m here. I’d never leave you. I don’t think I could anyway.  _ He dashes to your side, and nuzzles your shoulder. 

“M-minou?” Loki mews in response. He safe past the place of trying to seem princely in front of you. Right now, he just wants to make things right. How strange love is, this foreign new emotion. _I’ve never cared before._

You sweep him into your arms and hug him tightly, your face burrowed into his side. 

_ I’m sorry for making you worry darling. I won’t do it again. I don’t like you like this.  _

“I-I thought- I thought… it would be all my fault. Don’t scare me like that again. I-I can’t lose you too.” Loki purrs softly and licks her tears. 

_ Don’t you see? Do you see what you’ve done to me? A mere mortal. You’ve brought me to my knees.  _

She laughs at his tongue, a sound that is more magical than the music of Asgard, and kisses his forehead. 

“I forgive you, silly chaton. Love you, mon minou.” 

_ I love you too. More than you could ever know.  _

Loki will stay like this. He’ll stay for her. To protect her. He will. If it is the last thing he’ll do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions comments quandaries are all accepted and encouraged! 
> 
> One thing I’d like to say: I do live in NYC so when I write this I’m always thinking of it from places I know. The Williamsburg Bridge is a real bridge and right by beautiful miles of park. That’s were I always imagine this story taking place (at least for this first bit of it *wink wink*)


	5. 1-5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which very human emotions apply to not quite human people.

**February 28th**

Spring was coming. You could feel it. Honestly, you were excited, but now… a late snowstorm had flown in. 

Personally, you loved snowstorms. You didn’t mind the cold and were ecstatic to frolic in it. The kitten, your kitten at this point (he was with you more often than not), had fallen asleep on your lap again and slept the night. 

The shelter wasn’t the best, but one thing it was good for was temperature control. If you didn’t feel it in your stomach, you’d have no idea it had just finished snowing outside. 

“Minou. Minou, are you awake?” The kitten makes a little indignant huff of annoyance. You scratch him behind the ears. He purrs loudly, pushing his cute soft head into your palm. You retract your hand triumphantly. 

“Mrrow!” He seems to yell at you. It like he’s saying ‘come back come back don’t stop’. It’s adorable. You smile at him. He knows what you're thinking and lowers his eyebrows. 

“Come on, I’m not going anywhere. There will be plenty of time for pets later.” You stand up, holding your kitten in the crook of your arm and give him a kiss between his ears. 

“Let’s go see how the park looks in the snow!” 

You’re very excited, but the kitten digs his claws into the sleeve of your sweater. You stroke his back to soothe his nerves and walk upstairs into the winter wonderland that awaits. 

And it truly is. The snow is untouched outside your tree and there is still small flurries dusting from the grey sky. 

“Look how beautiful it is,” you breathe.

“Chaton, let's play in the snow.” His head whips to you. 

“Meow?” 

“Let’s go let’s go let’s go!” You bounce excitedly, a child in all senses of the word except physically. He senses your excitement. You grin at the ball of fluff in your arms. He closes his eyes for a minute, before releasing his claws from your hoodie and jumping out of your arms.

Immediately falling paws-first into the deep snow. It covers up to his neck. He seems very perturbed at his newfound condition. 

It’s absolutely hysterical. 

The rest of the day goes quickly. It’s fun filled, with snowball fights (mostly one sided but still), mirthful chases through the snow, snow angels, and you two made a little snow cat. He had destroyed it a few times, mischievous cat that he is, but you had a lot of fun doing that too. 

Eventually, you lie back in the snow, absolutely exhausted. The kitten plops down next to you. 

“That was so much fun,” you sigh, “I wish it could stay like this forever.” 

“Mew.”  _ Me too,  _ the cat says.

“Come ‘ere, mon minou,” you say to him, patting your side. He trots dutifully over to you and nestles in your side. You curve your wings around the two of you to shield from the wind. 

Booping you noses together, you whisper to him,

“I’d like you to live with me, mon minou. If you’d have me. I already feed you, and you take care of yourself most of the time… and I’ve had more fun with you, despite your occasional haughtiness, than I’ve had in ages. So. What do you say? Do you want to be with me?” 

“Meow!” He seems so excited, that you giggle.

“So yes then?” you laugh. 

“Mew!” You clutch the kitten closer to your breast and curl around him, kissing his forehead before closing your eyes. 

**May 17th**

Another sunny day. Spring was in full swing, and the flowers that you’d watch city planters painstakingly set were exploding into colour. If that wasn’t enough to make you happy, your little black cat was around. More often than not. He’d sleep over almost every night, and be there almost every day at the library after your shift ended. You’d bought him a super soft pet bed (better than your own actually) because ‘only the best for the fuzzy prince’ and make sure to keep the kitchen stocked with his tuna and other fresh high quality foods he enjoys (no cat food! The first time you’d tried to feed it to him, he turned his nose up at it, like ‘you try and eat it’. You’ve both agreed that if neither of you want to eat it, not to buy it. He threatened to destroy your blankets if you ever came near him with the goop again). 

Long story short: It was perfection. 

It was playing with the kitten in your little alcove of grass (you’d make the grass grow around him and he’d try and catch it) when Harrison came along. 

He was relatively attractive, his hair in a swoop over his head, like an actor from the 50s. He looks to be your age too. 

You watch him as he walks closer to you. You’ve hidden your wings as per usual, and to everyone but the kitten, look completely normal. Or as normal as a solitary girl playing with her cat in a park can be.

“Hey, I’ve seen you around here a lot. My names Harrison. What’s yours?” You blush immediately.

“Hi. My name is- oh my god! Minou, stop!” 

Your kitten was hissing madly at Harrison, swatting at him with a paw full of claws. If Harrison hadn’t retracted his hand when he did, he would have been marred. You grab the cat around the waist and pull him close to you. You know that he won’t try hurting Harrison if he might hurt you too. 

“Hisss!!!” 

“I’m so sorry about him… he never acts like this! Truly,” you apologize to the man profusely. He waves it off good-naturedly. 

“Aww no it’s fine. Anyway, I wanted to ask you… if you’d like to go out with me? I know that you don’t even know me and I can show you proof my identity if you need that or whatever but I was hoping if maybe we’d hit it off on one date this could be the start of something really special. You’re beautiful, and kind, and clearly love nature. It would be foolish of me to let you get away,” he confesses. It’s striking. The cat jumps out of your arms as you raise a hand to your mouth. 

“I-I’d love that. We could meet here, at say, 4 o’clock on Saturday? Does that work for you?” 

“Mhmm. I’ll see you then,” he chirps. You feel all warm and tingly. This is the first time since you’ve left the foster system that you’d been asked out, and the fact that something so normal, so human, would happen to you… it makes you ecstatic. 

“Meow! Mrrow,” the kitten says loudly from your feet. He rubs his head on your ankles. You sit in the grass absentmindedly and pat his head. 

Honestly though, you’re not even thinking about the cat. Your mind swims with thoughts of a  _ date  _ with someone. You barely notice when your kitten leaves, so completely distracted in your mind. 

**May 17th - Loki**

How dare he. How fucking dare he. 

Loki is rage, firey rage, and he feels like he might combust. That  _ man _ , lest he even be called one, he looked like a weakling, had asked out  _ his  _ darling. 

Somewhere, beyond the hate and irrational anger, he knows that it’s his fault for remaining as a house cat, and that he shouldn’t be mad that you had finally made contact with someone.

But Loki is Loki. And as he knows quite well, he doesn’t like when things of his were tampered with. 

_ She is mine. Mine mine mine.  _

Frigga used to say that he was too possessive of things that he loved. She’d tell the story of when he was younger Thor had sustained multiple puncture wounds from trying to take a favorite toy. 

Before he knows it, he’s in front of that mans apartment building. It’s a meager establishment really, horribly normal.

_ You could never provide for her like I could!  _

He searches for the mans apartment. Finding it, he teleports directly into his room.

Harrison’s sleeping on the couch, the television still running. 

Loki has a knife out. He’s preparing to strike when he starts to think of her.

_ She… would hate me forever if she found out I killed him.  _

He sheathes the blade, and instead reaches forward with magic, and invades his mind. 

It’s messy in the mind of this mortal, thoughts darting like rabbits. He finds what he’s looking for. 

She’s in his mind in only a small part of it. It’s nowhere near the adoration that she has in Loki’s. 

‘He’d seen her in the park.  _ A quick fuck,  _ he’d thought. The more he’d watched, the more his curiosity was piqued.  _ I’ll derive her of her secrets.  _ She was pretty, and seemed to be into him. Her cat was crazy, but she was sweet. They will be meeting up at 4 on Saturday,’

Loki pulls out of his mind. 

_ You do not deserve her. You are not worthy of such a treasure.  _

Loki starts murmuring a spell. It’s a spell that no one except the royal family is supposed to know. A forgetting spell. A spell that will keep this _twit_ away from his girl. 

He places it in his memories. It takes like a parasite, sucking up all the memories of her with enthusiasm. It moves with the vigor that is supplied by Loki’s deep hatred of this man. 

Once all the memories had been dealt with, Loki slinks out of Harrison’s apartment. He feels a little guilty for taking away what could have been a source of joy for you, but after looking through his memories… he doesn’t care.

Perhaps you will never love him in the wild adoring way that he loves you. Perhaps Loki will remain in cat form for the rest of your life. For the rest of his life. 

If he can stay with you, it will be worth it. 


	6. 1-6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which a girl loses hope and gains it all in one day.

**June 2nd**

You start daydreaming as the kitten plays with an illusion of yarn. Harrison never showed up. You had been excited, sure, but a part of you expected this to happen. The part with wings and horns, in particular. 

As you stare through the bushes, you are treated to the sight of a young child having her birthday party. 

She was clearly not enjoying it, looking at her phone instead of the parents and family gathered to celebrate her. You feel tears spring to your eyes.

“Mrrow?” The cat places a paw on your knee. 

“She’s so goddamn lucky,” you start in a whisper. 

“She has a family. She has people who know she exists and a home to go back to. She never needs anything. I will never,  _ never,  _ have a normal life. Never,” you tremble, and tears start to escape. You pull your knees to your chest. 

“Will I die today? If I do, would it make any difference at all? Would anyone care? Would anyone care that I died on the very day I was born? She wastes this opportunity to be. It’s my birthday too, and she has cake and presents and a family gathered for her. Who do I have? No one. I have no one. I live from paycheck to paycheck. I feed my cat more than I feed myself. Happy birthday to me.” 

Tears are flowing down your cheeks now. You bury your head in your knees. The kitten rubs his head on your leg, meowing loudly. 

“I’m not in the mood to play anymore mon minou.” 

The kitten leaves. You stay stoic. 

**June 2nd - Loki**

“What do you do on birthing days on Midgard?” 

“Excuse me?” The arrowsmith is taken by surprise. Loki has run back to the tower to go ask about these holidays.  _ What do you do for a birthday?  _ He needs to cheer her up somehow. She is more deserving to be happy on this day than anyone. 

“I apologise, birth-days. What do you do on birthdays?” Clint’s eyebrow quirks. 

“Mhmmm got a lady to impress do ya…”

Loki glares at him.

“Okay okay,” Clint says, “just a joke man.” 

“Birthdays?” 

“Oh yeah. Usually there’s cake, party hats, and balloons, and candles! The candles go on the cake and you blow them out and make a wish,”

“That would not make the wish come true. That makes no sense.” 

“Yeah it’s not really about making sense. Oh, and presents! Don’t forget about the present.” 

Loki only understood three things that the arrowsmith had said: cake (he already knows your favorite, he had discovered it when you brought it home from the coffee shop), candles, and presents. 

“Erm, are you going to tell me why you asked?” 

“No. I don’t think I will.” Loki goes to leave, but turns before he reaches the doors. 

“Thank you. This will make her very happy,” Loki admits. 

“Oh. Um. You’re welcome?” Clint says dumbly. 

Loki’s already out the doors when he hears Clint yell:

“WAIT! HER?” 

Loki smirks.  _ There’s always time for a little mischief.  _

**June 2nd (still!) - You**

You had given up crying a little while ago.

_ It’s not like it’s going to change anything anyway.  _

You hear loud meows.  _ Minou!  _

Following them, you find yourself by a picnic table.

“I’m so sorry for boring you kitten, I just needed a moment… what do you have there?” 

There’s yet another brown bag to the side of the cat. He seems mighty proud of himself, and lifts his head when he meows. 

“Let’s see…” the bag contains a small box that you’d keep food in and a wrapped box. There’s a note at the bottom.

‘ _ Dearest, _

_ Happy birthday. I wish you’d said something sooner.  _

_ Don’t leave me. You are the only good thing in this world. You matter. You exist. Never doubt that.  _

_ Yours Truly, _

_ \- A Friend’  _

It’s in the same intricate green script as the few times the cat has appeared with groceries when work was slow.  _ Curious.  _

The kitten nudges the box of food insistently. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll open it!” You laugh joyously. Inside the box is a beautiful piece of cake with an unlit candle. Beautiful decadent cake. It smells like heaven. There’s a plastic fork next to it, and you quickly pick it up. Then put it down. 

“If this is a birthday celebration, we need to have party hats, don’t we mon minou?”

“Mrrow?” He’s confused. You giggle as you make a little party hat illusion for him and put it on his head. The kitten pouts, his eyes narrowing. You scratch the underside of his chin, and he purrs into your hand. After putting a matching hat on your own head, you pick up the fork again. 

“Happy birthday to me, huh? There’s no one I’d rather spend the day with than you, chaton.” The kitten purrs again. You make an illusion of fire on the candle before blowing it out.  _ I wish… I wish that everything will be okay.  _

You eat a little of the rich chocolate cake and then give the kitten a little bit off your finger. 

His eyes go wide as the sweet food hits his tongue. 

“Mhmm, now you know why it’s my favorite.” 

“Meow! Meow meow!” 

“You can have some more, I share well.” 

The kitten passes out on your lap soon after eating the cake. You disappear the hat on his tiny head and breathe out.

_ Long day _ . There’s still one thing to do though. Your shaky fingers pick up the wrapped present. You don’t know this person, only through the kitten, who knows what could be in this box. 

You peel back the paper. It’s a small jewelry box, black and sleek. Inside, resting on a cushion, is a beautiful necklace. 

It takes your breath away, a gold chain with a green gem at the end.

_ This is the most expensive thing I’ve ever owned. I can’t accept this.  _ But at the same time, there’s no one to give it back to. 

_ I’ll keep it then. Maybe someday when my luck turns around I’ll be able to wear it, or if push comes to shove I can pawn it if need be.  _

Hoisting up the kitten in one arm and the remainings of your meager birthday celebration in the other, you make your way back to your home under the tree. The cat shifts in your arms, tail swishing. 

“Goodnight, mon minou,” you whisper as you lie down in the nest of blankets. The kitten stretches and mews as he readjusts to your new position. 

He curls up on your chest, and you curve your wings around him to retain heat. 

There’s nothing like falling asleep, full and content, to the sound of purring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments Questions Concerns! Let me have it all!
> 
> An Update:
> 
> Chapters will be getting considerably longer soon! I will stop posting twice a week (only Saturday’s) and then as they get even longer (approx 4000 words per) every other week or as the demand comes.
> 
> I cannot give enough thanks for 100+kudos and 1100+ hits. You could not grasp my immense gratitude.


	7. 1-7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the unthinkable happens. Or the inevitable.

**June 18th**

The kitten and you have been inseparable. He was always around, not leaving the park for the past week or so. It made you so happy to have a friend, a confidant. 

You had just eaten dinner (and fed the cat as well) and decided to sleep in a tree as the weather was warm. You’ve flown around with cat more, using the sling, but making sure you got to solid ground before falling asleep. So this wasn’t too big of a deal.

You picked up the cat, planting a kiss between his ears and fly to the top of a tree. He immediately jumps onto the tree and settles down. 

“How is this for sleeping tonight, little prince?” 

“Mew,” he replies sleepily. You snort, before lying down next to him. You’re drifting off when you hear sirens. 

“Put your hands up! Loki Laufeyson! If you are here, come out before we have to use force! We are not afraid of potentially crippling you!” 

You gasp a little, but act quickly and pull the cat under you as you make a powerful illusion.

SHIELD troopers start to infiltrate the park, lights on their formidable guns lighting up the night. The cat squirms under you.

“Shh. Don’t move. Don’t let them see you. Stay with me, mon minou.” He stops when he hears the trepidation in your quiet voice. 

“We know you’ve been here before, Laufeyson! Show yourself and we’ll bring you back to the Avengers unharmed! We are allowed to hurt you or whoever is with you if you don’t show yourself immediately!” 

The cat starts to squirm harder, meowing loudly. The men hear it, and turn their lights to the sound. The illusion is the only thing saving you.

“Must be a stray,” one of the troopers say to another. 

“Please,” you whisper in the kittens ear, “please stay quiet. For me.” He obeys you, finally. The troopers give up, and move on with their search for the missing god. 

You’re shaking by the time they leave, hugging the kitten tightly. 

**June 27th**

It’s been almost a year since the cat came into your life for the first time. You distract yourself by thinking of how to celebrate. That’s why you weren’t being as cognizant as usual.

That’s how he was able to sneak up on you, you were waiting for the kitten with no illusions on your horns or wings.

That’s how Harrison was able to get behind you, and hurt you. It was a blur of fists and feet.

He smacked you across the face. He kneed your stomach. He crushed the bones in your wings under his boots, bad enough to draw blood. 

Bruises, blood, bones. 

Everything hurts. You screamed and screamed but no one was there. 

You blacked out, and then Harrison sneered at you and left. 

…

... 

…

“Meow? Meow! Meow!” 

“Minou?” You cough weakly, blood coming out with the rasp. Your vision is hazy, but you see your little black cat running towards you. His eyes are wide at the sight before him: you, bloodied and broken. 

“I’m glad… *cough* that I g-got to see you, before I… go… mon minou,” you say to him. 

It may be your imagination, but green hued magic seems to glitter around the cat as he meows loudly. He pushes his head against your hand. You don’t have enough energy to lift it.

Somehow, your little kitten transforms into a beautiful man.  _ The princess and the frog,  _ you think to yourself. 

“No, no no. I’ll save you. You’ll see. I-It will be okay, lovely.” He says. He sounds choked up. He carefully lifts you bridal style, so that your broken wings hang past his arms. You groan. 

“Minou…” 

“I’m here, I’m right here,” the man murmurs.  _ He’s so pretty.  _ You can barely make out the lines of his face, the sharp cheekbones that adorn it, with all of the tears of pain that crowd your eyes. 

“It hurts…” you breathe harshly. 

“I’ll take care of you, just got to get you to the tower,” he says to you.

“Hold on.”

In a blink of green magics, you are suddenly in a different place. You hear the man huffing above you as he teleports you across the city. 

_ I’m so tired… _

“No no no, stay awake darling, you mustn’t fall asleep,” he insists.  _ Mhmm bossy.  _

“We’re almost there.” 

You curl into his chest. He’s nice and cool, and you can feel strong, lean, muscles ripple beneath his shirt. 

You are carried into a large atrium. A loud man yells,

“Where the _fuck_ were you, Rock of Ages! I swear this has to be the last time… SHIELD was already searching the city,” the man slows as he notices you in his arms. 

“Please, I do not care if you hate me, please help her. She’s… she’s my everything.” The beautiful man cradling you chokes out. You can feel yourself fading. Fast. You start to fall limp in his arms.

He shakes you rapidly. 

“Stay with me!” The beautiful man begs of you. 

The loud voice starts calling for doctors as blackness claws at your vision. You tumble out of the pretty mans arms painfully. 

The last thing you see is this man’s gorgeous blue eyes flashing green as he glows with magic, calling your name over and over like a prayer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um. Happy holidays, here’s a cliffhanger. 
> 
> Questions, Comments, Concerns! 
> 
> (For my new update schedule, see 1-6)


	8. 1-8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which life as you know it warps around you.

**???**

You groan as you awaken. Your head feels heavy. You take in your surroundings. White hospital room. There’s a raven haired man seemingly snoozing on a set of chairs. There’s only a ghost of the pain that you barely remember being there, a dull ache in your wings. 

“What-what happened? Am I dead?” 

The man jolts up. He’s frantic, clearly. Well dressed despite emotionally rumpled.

“Are you- how are you feeling?” You meet his eyes. Loki. Loki the Asgardian Sorcerer. 

“You’re-you’re L-Loki,” you make out. 

“Ah,” he says sadly, “I see my reputation precedes me.” Loki moves to the one window and looks out of it forlornly, the image of distraught royalty. He runs a hand through his hair. His hands clasp and unclasp at his sides. 

“Um. What happened? And why did you help me?” 

“Do you honestly not remember?” You shake your head no. 

“Well. This is going to be difficult to explain. I am… the kitten. Your kitten. ‘Mon minou’, yes?” 

How could he possibly… could it be true? You shiver a little bit. If it’s true, the you’ve been sharing a home with a man, not a cat, for almost a year. 

“How?”

He slinks closer to you and gazes into your eyes. You swallow audibly. He sighs, and his gaze turns downcast. 

“Shapeshifting is one of my abilities.”

Your eyes narrow. 

“So was this all a joke to you? A little game for a Trickster God?” 

His eyes widen and he waves his hands in a ‘no no’ gesture.

“NO! No. It… started as a pastime, a remedy for loneliness, and then there was you… I had thought all the Dark Fae were extinct and it piqued my interest and then,” 

“And what.” You have to keep your steel. Don’t give in to the pretty guy. Stay strong. 

“And. And… I... I fell in love with you. I fell… in love with everything about you.” He looks defeated. 

Surprise laces your features. That certainly does explain a lot. 

“As a cat?” 

“As a cat,” he affirms. Loki reaches out a hand and lightly touches your hair. You tense, and he moves his hand back. 

You start to move off the hospital bed. You make a small grunt of pain and he reaches to help you down. 

“Careful!”

You smile a little at his overprotectiveness. _So much like my kitten._

“Thank you, but I really must be going now.” _Before I do something stupid._ You start to go through the doors, pulling in your newly healed wings to fit through the frame. 

Loki follows you out the door. You only make it a few steps before he grabs your arm.

“Stay with me,” he whispers.

“Stay in the Tower. I’m sure I can convince Stark to let you stay here. I will not allow you return to that hovel,” he says louder. 

“I-I-“ you start. 

“I heard my name! Reindeer Games, are you spreading lies about me to your little bird lady?” Iron Man, Tony fricking Stark waltzes into the hall. 

“Thank you, Mr. Stark-,” you begin, shrugging off Loki’s hand. 

“Tony,” he corrects. You nod, and continue.

“Thank you, Tony, for fixing me up. Can I pay you back somehow?”

Tony laughs. Then looks at you when you don’t laugh with him.

“Oh, not a joke? Hasn’t anyone told you? I’m filthy rich. It doesn’t matter. You were pretty banged up and it was interesting to see if I could fix up your more avine parts as well.” You smile a little. _Never thought he would be this nice._

Tony returns his attention to Loki.

“So, what are you complaining about?” 

“Let her live in the tower. You have more than enough guest rooms, Hel, I already have a room for her. And as you said, you are ‘filthy rich’.” 

“No no no,” you protest. “I couldn’t intrude. That’s too much, I have a home-“ 

“DO NOT CALL THAT PLACE A HOME. It is not fit for a person to live in. You need more space than that.” Loki says forcibly. He seems incredibly angered at something that shouldn’t even matter to him.

“Rock of Ages, it’s called an apartment… people live there all the time. It’s normal,” Tony snarks. Tony looks at you as if to apologize for Loki’s ignorance. You look away sheepishly. 

“No,” Loki says, holding your gaze. You shake your head at him. _Don’t tell him, it’ll land me in a shelter._ Don’t do it. Of course, he does it anyway. 

“She lives in a small square of space underneath the ground. Beneath a park. It’s meant for large explosions or other such events. She doesn’t have enough food to sustain herself. And she refuses to ask for help or receive it unless it’s given and there’s no way to give it back.”

By now, the other Avengers have trickled in and they had overheard everything. You were mortified.

“Kid, is this true?” Captain America asks you. You glare at Loki, who is unabashed by this. Or very good at acting. You notice his hands ticking, a small tell. 

“Yes,” you whisper.

_No use in lying now anyways._

You shift your wings behind you restlessly, reluctant to look at anyone. _Let me leave please._

“Tony. You’ve got to let her stay,” Captain America tells Tony, a hand on his shoulder.

“No! I-I don’t want to-“ you begin, excuses spinning around your mind. 

“Okay, kiddo,” Tony starts, “I’d love for you to stay with us,” a small smile appears on Loki’s pretty face, “but you’ve got to have some kind of ability that can help the team.” 

The surrounding Avengers start to yell at Tony angrily. 

“Hey guys! It’s okay, I can help!” Their attention swings to you. You start to sweat a little at the fact that Earth's Mightiest Heroes (™) are staring at you.

Loki, somehow without moving, whispers in your ear. 

“Show them what you can do. Show them how amazing you are.” You’ll have to ask how he did that later. But now,

“I can heal. I have healing powers, a-and I’m okay with illusions,” 

“Okay?” Loki cuts you off. “Your illusions can fool even I on occasion. I’d say that’s more than simply ‘okay’ if you can rival the Master of Illusions.” 

Tony shrugs.

“Hey, good enough for me.” 

“You are really okay with me staying here?” You question, still not sure of where you stand. 

“I mean, yeah, you’ll definitely pull your weight, we totally need a healing person if Barton keeps getting shot like he has been recently. And we do have a ton of extra rooms. You’ll have to quit any other jobs you have though.” 

“T-thank you! This is… so generous,” you gush, eyes tearing up. Tony’s own eyes soften, and he smiles at you. 

“Yeah no problem kiddo.” 

Everyone crowds around you, asking all kinds of questions.

“How do your wings work?” - Bruce 

“Can you fight?” - Natasha 

“How long has my brother known you?” - Thor

“How well do you say you can heal bullet wounds?” - Clint 

“Congrats on making the team! Do you have any questions?” - Steve

It was all too much for you. You weren’t used to being in situations with so many people asking you questions all at once. Loki notices and sweeps you out of the way. He throws an arm over your shoulders. You flinch, but relax into it. 

“I think I’ll show our new housemate her room now. Clear the way mortals,” he commands. 

The people part for Loki, and he gets you into the elevator with no further problems. The second you are out of their view, he removes his arm.

After a beat of silence, Loki speaks. 

“I apologize for embarrassing you. I can’t imagine how mortified you must have been to be on display like that,” he says quietly. 

“Oh!” You say, surprised. From what all of the news had told you, the polite and sympathetic man in front of you should have been berating you with poison on his silver tongue. You smile at him.

“It was the right thing to do. You knew about my powers and that you could get me a place to live here. It was pretty horrifying, but in the end I’m glad you did it.” 

The elevator dings, and Loki leads you down a long hallway. 

“I cannot express my elation that you will be staying here,” he starts. You furrow your brows as a thought occurs to you. 

“Why didn’t you show yourself before you had to? If you...like… me so much, why hide it?” 

Loki stops in the middle of the hallway. He turns to you, his blue eyes cutting into your very soul.

“I thought you feared me. Or hated me. Maybe both. I couldn’t bear the idea of that, so I decided to stay in the form you enjoyed,” he confesses confidently. 

“I don’t hate you,” you say with a confused smile on your face. Loki sputters. 

“But that day in the park, you flew away…”

_So he did see!_

“I flew away because… because I worried that you might sell me out. You ended up doing that anyway but…” 

“You lie. You must hate me. Everyone on Midgard hates me.” he spits out.

There’s a little twinge of heat in your head.

“That’s a lie. Three lies,” you state. Loki gapes at you again.

“You can… tell if someone is lying?” 

“Well, kind of. I can see through illusions. Lies are just verbal illusions. So yes. I can tell.” 

He shakes his head in astonishment.

“You never cease to amaze me,” he smiles genuinely. It’s a heartbreaker of a smile.

“Now,” he claps his hands together, “let me show you your new quarters. I have had this room prepared for you for most of the season. I hope it is to your liking and that I’ve guessed your size correctly.”

_My size?_

Your confusion must have shown as Loki just chuckles, a resounding sound, and guides you to a room down the hall. He points out his own along the way. Loki opens a door and you gasp at the huge place inside. 

There’s a huge bed, but circular, so that you can rest with your wings comfortably. There’s floor to ceiling windows, with a remote so that you can open them and fly out. The ceiling itself is insanely high. High enough that if you needed to fly around, you could. And was that a hammock in the corner of the ceiling up there? 

“Come here, lovely one,” Loki laughs. He directs you to a large armoire. Inside it is rows upon rows of clothes. You investigate one set of clothes, and nice sweater and denim duo, and notice a particularly placed pair of slits in the back. 

“Is this…?”

“Yes. I had them all fixed so that you don’t have to be uncomfortable,” 

“That… might be one of the nicest things anyone’s ever done for me. Thank you,” 

Loki grins crookedly. 

“Loki. Call me Loki.” It causes you to smile in return.

“Well then. Thank you, Loki.”

Loki purrs. Literally purrs. Immediately his eyes go wide and he tries to cough to cover it up. 

“Did… you just…” 

“Ahem. Let’s not talk about it.” You smirk, and then burst out laughing. When you recover, you notice Loki staring at you rather intensely. 

“Loki…” you chastise lightly.

“I know, I know.” 

“You have to give me a little time. I thought you were a cat for a year. You know all about me… I know relatively nothing about you. And jeez, I’m not attracted to animals, that’s gross. Patience, mon minou. You never could be patient.” 

Loki snorts. “A prince doesn’t have to be patient.” 

“Mhmm,” you reply. 

“Anyway, I’m feeling pretty fatigued… is it okay if I take a little nap? I’ll go get my stuff from my old place after I get some rest,” you yawn.

“Have I been keeping you up? I am sorry,” he apologizes. 

“No, it’s fine. I’m just -*yawn*.” Your wings droop a bit when you yawn. Your whole body aches with tiredness. I’ve just recovered and already too much stimuli. The edge of Loki’s mouth tugs up in a small smile. He helps you into bed, smoothing the blankets around you. 

The pillow is a luxury you have not been able to indulge in the longest time, and it feels fantastic. 

“You won’t shred the fabric with your horns. It was specially made,” Loki confides as he sits at the edge of the bed. 

“How long have you been planning this all?” 

“Longer than you’d think,” he whispers as he brushes away a strand of hair. 

Loki then gets up, dusts himself off, and starts to walk to the door. 

“I’m glad that you are alright. If you need anything, as the magic computer in the ceiling, JARVIS. Goodnight, dearest,” Loki calls out from the doorway. 

“Loki?” You hear the door close and then open a little. 

“Yes?” 

“I think I’m going to like it here.” 

“Mhmm. I certainly hope so. I’ve spent lots of hours into making this a good thing for you.” 

The door closes again. 

“Loki?”

A sigh. 

“Yes?” 

“Thank you again, minou.”

“Hmm. I would do it again in a heartbeat. Anything you need, you just call for me or knock on my door. I will always be there for you.” 

“G’night.” 

“Goodnight.” 

**End of Part One: Companions**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You thought I’d leave you all like that for another week didn’t you? 
> 
> In the spirit of Hanukkah, here’s a small miracle. 
> 
> Happy Holidays.
> 
> Love,
> 
> Lehuka


	9. 2-1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you must adjust to a new way of living.

**July 1st - First Day at the Tower**

You yawn as you awaken, snuggling deeper into the soft bed.

Wait.

Bed.

What? 

You jump up, freaking out. You’re about to scream when everything comes flooding back. 

Harrison. Loki. The Avengers. New home.

A quick glance at the clock says that’s its approximately 5 in the afternoon. 

“Hey, you awake? Can I come in?” 

“Sure,” you call out. Bruce Banner opens the door and waves.

“Wow, this room is huge. Even for Tony’s standards,” he notes he comes closer to you.

“I think Loki did something to it, so that I’d have space to fly around, if need be,” you think aloud, “either way, it’s more than I could ever ask for,” 

“Ah, don’t worry about it. You’re part of the family now. And speaking of flying, how are those wings holding up? I was helping the doctors, and I must say, your anatomy is pretty incredible,” 

“Oh, they’re perfect. Thank you,” 

Banner snorts. “You really have to stop thanking us, you’ll give us an even bigger egos than we already have!” 

You laugh with Bruce. _How strange that a few days ago I was friendless and now I’m conversing amicably with the Hulk._

“I can fly around a few loops if you want to see them in action you know. The wings, I mean,” you suggest idly.

“S-sure!! If it’s not any problem to you, that would be awesome!” 

Bruce gushes like a geek, and takes out a notepad from his back pocket.

“Ready?” 

“Go go go!” He says excitedly.

You stretch out your wings to their full length and then take a running start before leaping into the air. You flap once, twice, gaining momentum before soaring around the room. It’s joyous and makes you extremely elated to be in the air and stretch the wings. 

You hear whoops from the ground. More than one person. You glance down and notice that yet again the entire squad has convened below you. 

So you tuck your wings and blast downwards to land neatly right in front of them. 

“Hi everyone,” you say shyly. 

“That. Was. So. Epic.” Clint states. He’s chewing an English muffin and staring at you in awe. 

“Truly astounding. That’s a fantastic gift you have, to be able to fly,” Natasha remarks. 

“Heh, it’s nothing. All of you guys can do so many amazing things too!” You gush. 

They wave it off. 

  
“I’m sorry about yesterday, it was a bit overwhelming… I haven’t been around a whole ton of people,” you explain guiltily.

“Ah young Fae, do not fret! Loki has explained all, and we would not judge you so readily,” Thor booms. You glance at Loki, who is leaning on your doorframe behind all of the others. He inclines his head towards you. You smile at him. 

“So, things move fast around here. We’ll publicly introduce you as one of the Avengers in a few weeks, and we need to get a formal physical. We won’t expect you to go out into the field just yet but you should be ready here for the next couple missions in case one of us get hurt,” Tony rants. 

“Sounds good. Fantastic, actually,” you say with a wide smile. 

“Bruce, did you get anything good?” You ask of the man still scribbling in his notebook.

He gives you a mute thumbs up and walks out of the room, his head in his notebook. 

Thor walks up to you and pulls you into a tight embrace. 

“Um, Thor, you’re crushing my wings a bit,” you squeak. 

“Oh, sorry! Even I underestimate my own strength sometimes,” Thor says cheerily, a hand on the back of his head apologetically. 

“I just wanted to say thank you. My broth-Loki, has been in such high spirits the last few moons. I believe that’s due to your influence,” 

“Um…” 

_How do you respond to that?_

“Mind if I cut in, ladies?” Hawkeye slides in, stealing you away from Thor, who waves goodbye. 

“Let’s take a walk, hmm?” 

“O-okay,” you manage. You start walking down the hallway, and Clint finishes off his muffin.

“So, welcome to the Avengers. It’s quite the thing going on around here. And from your little escapade earlier, you seem to be a pretty powerful…” 

“Fae,” you finish, “I’m a Dark Fae.” 

“Mhmm, okay then. Don’t know what that is. You seem pretty smart. Are you with Loki?” 

“Wh-What?” 

“You heard me. Dating,” 

“We’re not… together,”

“Well, you came together,” Clint starts ticking off on his fingers, “he has been going to see you for the past what, year?, and he’s clearly crazy about you,” Clint says.

“It’s complicated,” you counter.

“Okay, I’ll leave it alone. For now…” he says, with his fingers in a little spooky motion. 

You giggle at the silliness. _I don’t know what I was expecting when I met the Avengers, but certainly not this._

You were expecting hostility and army drills. Not laughter and family fun. _Very ‘rated E for everyone’._

You’re still loitering in the hallway when Loki approaches you from behind. He moves like a ghost. 

“Agh!” You scream.

He has this look of abject horror and hurt.

“No, no no, you just surprised me,” you try and reassure him. He cocks his head. 

“Do I scare you? Do you fear me, mortal?” He asks softly, a current of dark emotion lying underneath it.

“No. And I know you know that I’m not lying,” you say with steel.

His jaw muscles tense, then relax.

“Okay,” he says with a small smile on his face. 

“I can’t seem to figure out how to get out,” you confide in Loki, “can you show me the way?” 

“Of course,” he says smoothly, ever the gentleman. 

You only make it to the elevator when Loki asks softly, 

“Why?” 

“Why what minou?” 

“Why,” he starts, pressing the elevator button, “so you not fear me, like any of the other billions of people on this planet?” 

“Well, I guess I always try to see the best in everyone. After everyone assuming that your a monster because of how you look, it makes it vital for you to see past everyone else’s exteriors. And,” you pat Loki’s arm, “everyone deserves a second chance.” 

“You are the most insightful being I have met in the better part of a thousand years,” Loki states robotically, as if he can’t bear to show emotion. 

You blush. 

“It is confounding,” he says. The elevator doors ding and click open. 

“Hey! The Horn Crew’s here everyone! We can get this party going, finally!” Tony shouts from the living room. 

“Horn Crew…?” you ask Loki. 

“He is only teasing, I will explain later,” Loki assures you. 

“Come on, both of you! We’re playing Mario Kart!”

_Mario. Kart._

“I CALL ROSALINA!” You squeal, and run into the room, Loki in tow. 

-

Dozens of games of Mario Kart turns to ordering in Chinese, turns to turning on a movie. You had begged to see The Princess Bride, as you adore the book and it had been ages since you’ve seen the movie. They oblige you, claiming it was only right that the newbie got to choose. 

Clint, Bruce, and Tony turn in early for various reasons (Family thing, Calculations, Hangover) and then it’s just Nat munching on noodles at the edge of the couch, Loki and Thor enraptured by the opening scenes of The Princess Bride on either side of you, Steve confused by the prospect of a ‘princess bride’ and then you, thrilled at the moment. 

“Is there any room for me on the couch?” Steve begs.

You tug on Loki’s sleeve.

“Turn into a cat so Steve has room and then you can sit on my lap,” you say to him.

“No, it’s mortifying,” he whispers back to you.

“Please please please,” you beg of him.

He glares at you. 

“Pleeaaaaase Loki,” you insist, stressing on his name. You know it’s a soft spot as he loves it when you say his name at all. He huffs, and then obliges you.

You let out a soft squeal as he becomes your fluffy chaton and hops into your lap. You scratch him behind the ears, and he purrs. 

“So this is how you know him?” Steve asks curiously as he steals Loki’s spot. 

“Mhmm,” you respond, “now watch the movie Cap.” 

The movie is incredible to watch with Thor and Steve, Natasha enjoying it almost as much as you did. They say so many fun reactions to things. 

Things like:

“NO, TRUE LOVE!” 

“What are those things in the water?”

“How the heck can that dude climb over that cliff?” 

“Haha, the inconceivable man isn’t that smart at all!” 

“IT WAS WESLEY ALL ALONG!”

“ I could easily defeat those mice! Asgard has far larger rodents!” 

And more as the movie progressed. You continued petting the kitten Loki on your lap, and he keeps purring softly. _Kitten. Loki. Loki. Kitten. Lokitty?_ _LOKITTY._

The movie ends, and you are still exuberant. You say goodbye to everyone as they go to their rooms. You’re still holding Lokitty in your arms, where he is happily snuggled there. 

“Well, mon minou, we are at the end of our night. Are you going to transform back into Loki Loki or stay as Lokitty?” 

“Mrrow!” He rubs his head in your arms, content to say there. 

You sigh.

“Minou, it wasn’t a question. You’ve got to go back now.” 

Your kitten purrs into your arms, trying to convince you otherwise, but you are adamant. _It would be a little weird knowing that there’s a person in there._

Lokitty jumps out of your arms and transforms back into Loki.

He bows dramatically as you clap at the show of magic.

 _It’s still a little weird seeing this, but my life’s a little weird. I can accept horns and wings. I can learn to accept feline to Asgardian transformation_.

“See you tomorrow, minou,” you bid him, and he responds in kind.

“I-I quite enjoyed watching that film with you today. It shared the title of the book you were reading that one time in the garden, yes?” He says before entering his room. 

“Oh, I’m surprised you remembered. Yes, it’s the film adaptation.” 

“Thank you for sharing it with me then, if it something precious to you,” 

He turns to leave, but you grab his arm. 

“Wait. You saw me? I thought the illusion fell when I left,” you question him.

“No. As you can see through my illusions, I can see through yours. Is… that a problem?” 

“No, just surprising. They don’t call you the master of illusions for nothing. Either way, I had fun with you tonight minou,” you smile at him. 

His blue eyes shine as he waves back to you. 

You enter your room, and are shocked to see Nat sitting on your bed. 

“Um, what are you doing here?” 

“I wanted to ask a few questions, and I wanted to get you alone,” she says, standing up to meet you. 

_There’s a reason she’s called Black Widow. She be terrifying._

“Did Loki spell you?”

“WHAT? No, he’d never,” you exclaim. _Is that what this is all about?_

She stares at you intently, and then hums in affirmation. 

“I believe you. Tony asked me to ask you. Because for bullshit reason he thinks that you can only do girl to girl talk for these things,” Nat rolls her eyes.

“Well, he hasn’t spelled me. I’d know. And furthermore, I didn’t even know he was a person until he brought me here,” you say flippantly, sitting down on the bed. Nat follows. 

“He wasn’t a person?” Nat asks, surprised.

“No, he was a cat. Like he was in the living room. The best cat, but still.” 

As much as you’d like to tell Nat everything, you don’t think you can. _What if she tells Tony everything? Loki would be mortified._

“You know, you can tell me. I know we’ve only just met, but I’ve been a spy forever. My job is to hold secrets. I can hold yours too,” 

“Okay… I’m sorry, what do you prefer to be called? Natasha?” 

“Nat. All my friends call me Nat,” 

“Cool, Nat then. Oh, how do I start this. I was alone. And then Lokitty came and-“

“Lokitty?” 

“Yeah, coined that myself. Loki, as a kitty. Lokitty.” 

“Ha, clever,” 

“Thanks, anyway, we struck up a friendship and it was awesome. I had so much fun with him, despite the lack of food and shelter and the rest of it. I think, somewhere along the line, he fell in love with me. Because he was a person in there and was giving him all this attention and love because he was a cat on the outside and…” 

“Weird,” Nat agrees. 

“Yeah,” you say softly, “but thanks for listening. I feel a lot better now,” 

She smiles. 

“Anytime, newbie. See you tomorrow, oh and just so you know, nobody here can cook so it’s _toaster waffles for everyone_ ,” she mocks. 

“None of the Earth Mightiest Heroes can _cook_?” 

“Nope. It’s comical when Clint or Tony try though,” she snorts. 

“Well, Goodnight Nat,” you way sleepily, already moving towards the dresser to grab some pajamas.

“Goodnight,” she says, and leaves.

It only takes you a little bit of time to get into bedclothes and jump into bed. You try and sleep. 

Nothing works. Without the added exhaustion of having just recovered from an attack, you couldn’t fall asleep.

“Loki?” You ask of the darkness.

“What do you need, dearest,” his velvet voice immediately answers.

“WOAH, um have you been there the whole time?”

“No, I just appeared when you summoned me. What do you need?” 

“I, um, this is stupid, I won’t bother you, you can leave,” you say, curling your wings around you to hide.

“What is it? I don’t care how ‘stupid’ it is. I want to help,” he says gently. You can make out his silhouette in the dark. You sit up to look at him better. He’s wearing silk green pajama pants and no shirt.

_Dear lord he’s ripped._

His chest is all lithe strong muscles. Not huge like Thors but lean, and maybe more beautiful. His hair was pulled back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, and a part of you told you to throw caution to the wind and take him right here. 

_Thank goodness he can’t see me staring in the dark._

“Are you going to say something or keep staring at me?” 

_Shit._

“I-I can’t fall asleep. It’s been so long since I slept anywhere but the park…” 

“I can give you a sleeping potion,” he ponders.

“No, it might have weird effects on me if it’s not meant for Fae,” 

“Hmm. Do you have any ideas?” He says, running a hand over a wing absentmindedly. The wing flutters under his touch, and Loki smiles.

“Is there, headphones or something?” 

“Headphones?” 

“Or someway that I could play music. When I was younger there was this song that I’d play and I’d be sacked before it ended,” you explain.

“Let’s ask, shall we?” 

“JARVIS,” he starts, “would it be possible to play music in this room?” 

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson,” a computerized voice chimes.

“Wow, that’s so cool,” you whisper.

“You live here too now darling, you could just ask, you don’t have to ask me to do it,” he says, still playing with the feathered appendage on your back.

“Okay then. JARVIS?” 

“Yes, Miss,” the computer answers immediately. _So cool…_ Loki grins at the dreamy eyed look you sport. 

“Oh, hi!” 

“Hello,” JARVIS responds. 

“Well, this is very cool. It’s nice to meet you, Jarvis.” The voice sounds a bit surprised at your conversational tone.

“Wonderful to meet you formally as well miss.” 

“Can you play ’The Stable Song’? By Gregory Alan Isakov?”

“Absolutely.” 

The sweet guitar starts flowing into the room. You sigh and snuggle back into the sheets. Loki tucks you in, his hand lingering on your arm before he rises. 

_You could ask him to stay,_ a small voice murmurs in your head. 

_I still know nothing about him. He’ll wait for me to be ready._ You assure yourself.

“Goodnight Loki,” you whisper, half asleep already. 

“Goodnight dearest. I’ll see you in the morning,” Loki exits and you hear the soft click of the door. 

Before you drift off completely, you say into the darkness,

“Jarvis, can you wake me up before the other Avengers tomorrow?” 

“Affirmative, miss. Sleep well,” his disembodied voice responds. Your eyes flutter closed. 

_‘Turn these diamonds straight back into coal.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!  
> *blows horn*
> 
> Questions, comments, concerns!


	10. 2-2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you introduce Loki to a part of your life he’s never seen.

**July 2nd - Day Two at the Tower**

Jarvis, true to his word, awakens you gently the next morning.

At 4am. 

“Miss, Mr. Barton and Ms. Romanov will be waking up for their morning run around the track in half an hour. If you wish to be up before them, now is the time,” 

“*yawn* okay, thanks Jarvis. I couldn’t convince you to call me by my real name can I?” 

Jarvis sputters.

“N-no, it is not in my programming to be without such formalities,” 

“Oh well,” you shrug, getting out of bed and stretching, “worth a shot. I keep forgetting you’re not a person. I mean, I think you’re very personable. You don’t need to be a physical human to be a person ya know?” 

Is it weird to be having a conversation with an AI before the suns risen? Perhaps. Not for you now though.

“That is a profound way of thinking miss. I am honored that you consider me to be more than an AI, but truly I am here to help Mr. Stark and everyone in this building, as he had me built for that reason,” You don some clothes and click the remote to open the window. 

“Well, people can be built for a reason but become something different right? Like Loki was meant to be drawn as the villain but now he’s a hero. Things change, so do people,” you say aloud.

“That’s… very interesting to process. Have a good flight miss,” JARVIS bids you as you soar outside your window. 

“Thanks!” 

You fly laps around the tower, and watch the sun rise. It’s gorgeous, as always.  _ Something never change no matter where you are.  _

You pick up a few items from the grocery (using your own cash that you have left over from your last paycheck) and take off back to the tower.

A few hours later, when Nat and Clint come back from their run, they discover that you have made several large stacks of Challah French Toast. Enough to feed a small army. 

“Kid, did you make this for us?” 

“Well,” you say whilst dipping another piece of Challah in the egg mixture, “you have all welcomed me into your family so easily, I thought I could pay you back a little bit. So I made breakfast,” 

Clint grabs a piece off one of the huge stacks and shoves it into his mouth. His eyes go wide and he hums in delight.

“You have to stay now,” Clint says through a mouthful of food. 

Nat rolls her eyes and grabs a plate from the cabinet and takes a few pieces.

“Thanks for this. Unnecessary to thank us, but we will eat food,” 

The smell of French toast, cinnamon and nutmeg, drifts through the tower. Its inhabitants wake and go to investigate the foreign smell. 

“What is this?” Thor booms as he walks into the kitchen. You simply present him with a full plate of breakfast. He takes it happily and munches down immediately. 

Bruce is next, and at least he knows what the meal is. 

“This is incredible! I haven’t had a good French toast in ages,” he says excitedly. 

“That intoxicating smell woke me up. What have you done to my kitchen?” Tony’s tired voice asks wearily. 

“I made some breakfast for the tower!” You chirp. 

“There’s a plate for you over there,” you point to his, which has a heaping of warm French toast on it. Tony grumbles a thank you and joins everyone else. Steve gives you a thumbs up when he grabs his plate.

It’s a big happy family. Just seeing people joyous to eat your food and smiling with you makes you feel so fulfilled. You count the people at the table.

_ We’re missing one. Where’s… _

Loki’s arms surround you, his chin resting on your shoulder.

“Surprise,” he murmurs.

“Lay off and come eat your breakfast, sleepy minou,” you bid him. 

He yawns wide and takes a plate of food.

“I would have been up earlier if someone hadn’t woken me up…” he says slyly. You blush.  _ It’s not even something that’s worth that kind of dark look! I just needed help falling asleep! He makes it sound naughty.  _

“You make it sound like you got something out of it minou…” you snark back at him flirtatiously. 

He wasn’t expecting that. His eyes go wide, and a huge smile stretches across his lips.

“Would you like it if I did?” he purrs.

“Get out of my kitchen mangy cat!” you squeal. 

“I protest at the mere thought of being called  _ mangy,  _ I’m actually quite well maintained, especially  _ in certain areas,”  _ he fires off, despite being pushed out of the room. 

“GET OUT!” 

Tony approaches you after you’ve cleaned up. 

“We’ve got to go out for a mission today. We’ve talked to SHIELD and they’re going to have you come in tomorrow for the physical. We’ve gotten news of a new AIM HQ and we need to go infiltrate it. You okay with being here alone?” Tony questions.

“Should be fine,” you murmur, not really believing it.  _ If they need to leave me alone, so be it.  _

You’ve just gotten used to so much company: how cruel fate is to tease it away from you mere days after gaining it. 

Tony gives you a thumbs up and walks away, leaving you at the sink.

There’s talking from outside the kitchen, a conversation that your ears pick up on when the people taking mention your name. You turn off the tap.

“- I refuse to let you abandon her here Stark,” Loki’s voice growls.

“We’re not abandoning her, just going out for the day,” Tony’s voice fires back.

“If you insist on going out despite her just having arrived and  _ not even knowing how to get around yet _ , let me stay,” 

“As much as it pains me to say this Reindeer Games but we might need you. I’d rather be safe than sorry,” 

“This is a simple infiltration. Even you and your team of so called heroes can handle this without my godly intervention. Let me stay,” 

“You just want to get into her pants,” 

Loki’s voice goes deadly quiet. 

“Don’t you ever insult how I feel for her. Or I will tear out your heart whilst it still beats,” 

“Is that a threat? I could get you shipped off to the dungeons of Hyrule or wherever your home is in a second,” 

Loki sighs.

“You do not need me on this mission Stark. I am staying. You can watch me through your machinery if you wish. I do not care. But I’m going to stay here,” Loki says.

You hear the sound of his fancy shoes walking away. Stark snorts and then calls after him, 

“Whatever, lover boy!” 

And that’s how you get stuck with one on one time with Loki for a day.

_ I don’t know why I’m nervous about this,  _ you think to yourself as you say good luck to the Avengers who are going out on the mission. 

Loki is staring at you. You can feel it. It’s not creepy, just unnerving.

You turn to look at him, perhaps tell him off, but holy  _ shit  _ the Look he gives you…

It gives a message of silken sheets and soft skin, of his hands sliding up and down your body. A dark sensual smile begins to work it’s way onto his face.

_ I’m not letting you win.  _ You close your eyes and calm yourself. 

_ One, _

_ two,  _

_ three.  _

“I still have to go to the library to formally quit my old job. I’m going to change. Meet here in 20?” 

Loki blinked, surprised at your ability to suddenly change the mood. You pat his shoulder and skip away, laughing silently to yourself as you go.

-

You were really only going to spend a few minutes getting dressed, really! But after searching for the perfect outfit and getting ready, you made the mistake of asking Jarvis to play some music.

20 minutes later, you are still in your room rocking out to more music. You lip sync and jump on all the furniture as you dance.

You spin around for the finale of the music, shooting into the air for a moment. The world swirls around you, the bed, the dresser, Loki, the desk…

Wait.

Loki? 

The music ends. 

“Um. How long have you been standing there?” 

Loki looks at his nails with all the pompous energy he can muster. 

“The last three songs, perhaps,” 

You groan, embarrassed beyond belief. He cackles, and you push past him playfully while putting an illusion over your wings and horns. 

“Let’s go minou. And never talk about this again,” 

“Mhmm, we will see darling, we will see,” 

It’s only a quick walk to the library, especially since both you and Loki have already gone there so many times. First time with him as a human though. It was a little weird, to say the least. But he remains quiet, and you can enjoy the beautiful day. 

“Are you going to tell them? Your old working partners, I mean,” Loki says to you about a block out from the library. 

“I don’t think so…” you say nervously, fidgeting your fingers. 

“Darling, I hate having to be the person to say this to you, but they will all find out eventually. The Avengers will air your induction on the television waves,” Loki looks at you questioningly.

“What if they hate me for it? What if they think… that I’m a monster?” 

“Then they will be lying to themselves, and you are better off without them,” Loki says confidently, guiding you across the crosswalk, “and if I remember correctly, you like these mortals,” 

“Yeah. I guess I will tell them, at the same time I hand in my resignation. Thanks Loki,” you say cheerfully. 

“It was nothing,” Loki suavely holds open the door for you, the perfect escort, and closes it behind you as you walk inside.

You take a deep breath of the air, that musky smell of books that you know so well, and a smile grows on your face. You glance to look at Loki, and your smile grows as you take note of his face wearing a mirror expression.

“You like to read minou?” 

“More than anything,” Loki breathes. He looks at you, and continues, “almost anything.”

You blush, and stride past him to the front desk. Josh is up front today, him being one of the three other workers that you’ve come to know working at the library. 

“Hey! I heard through the grapevine that you were quitting?? What’s up with that?” Josh is always full of energy, and Loki shrinks behind you at his exuberance. 

“Yeah, I got a new job, one too good to let up. Came with a room and everything,” you say, rubbing a hand on the back of your head. 

“Is everyone here?” You question nervously.  _ Better get this over with.  _

“Yea, Carroll got in a little while ago to pick up their paycheck, and Katy’s stocking in the back,” Josh chirps. He glances behind you at Loki, who’s being all tall dark and dangerous at the same time that he’s looking at the books behind Josh’s head. He’s keeping his head downcast so that no one recognizes him. 

“Who’s he?” Josh is sporting the wide eyed crushing look. You mouth “STAHP” at him, and he grins cheekily. 

“Round everybody up in the back room will you? I- want to explain everything to everyone at once,” 

Josh’s smile turns melancholy as he nods, taking one last look at Loki before leaving. 

“Are you going to follow him?” Loki inquires. 

“We’ll go in a second minou,” 

Loki’s eyebrows raise. You smirk.

“You didn’t think you were leaving my side did you?” Loki smiles so wide, it must hurt him. 

“There’s just a few things I should mention first. Carroll’s non-gender conforming, so they prefer the pronouns ‘they’ and ‘them’. And Katy’s ADHD and has a minor stutter, so if she’s fidgeting a lot, it’s just part of who she is. And she’s the baby of the family, so don’t make fun of her. At all. She’s only a teenage intern after all,” you rant. It’s important that Loki isn’t inconsiderate to your coworkers. Loki simply looks at you confused. 

“In Midgard… you have mortals who chose their gender?” 

“Yeah? So what?” You get defensive. 

“That’s- that’s incredible. Mortals have certainly changed since I was last here… it’s not the same on Asgard,” 

“I mean, there’s still a lot of problems with homophobia and stuff, but we try,” you say. It’s a little weird that you, Dark Fae and all, are now the spokesperson for the human race. 

Josh pokes his head out of the back room.

“Everyone’s here for you Smiles,” he says cheerily. You grab Loki’s hand as you lead him to the back room.

“Smiles?” 

“I was so nervous during my interview that I just smiled the whole time and said nothing. So therefore, Smiles,” 

“Hmm, cute,” Loki says loftily. 

“Don’t make me regret bringing you,” you grunt. 

Loki just laughs, finding it quite funny to get a rise out of you. 

You enter the room with Loki hovering behind you like a shadow. 

“Are you… really leaving us?” Katy asks from the corner. She’s on the meeker side, and prefers to hide in books than talk to people. 

“Yes. I got a new job, and I have my resignation. You know I love you guys, it’s just… I won’t have to hide anymore at my new place. And it comes with so many benefits I’d be insane to turn it down,” you lament. 

“Who could possibly be better than us?” Carroll snarks. You can sense Loki tensing. 

You wring your hands. 

“It’s with the Avengers,” 

“What could you possibly have to do with the Avengers? Do they need you to shelve books?” Carroll snorts. 

“It might be better if I just show you… don’t freak out. A-and if y-you never want to see me again after… I’d understand,” you start to tear up. Loki snakes an arm around your waist, a comforting presence. Carroll rolls their eyes. 

“I doubt that would happen,” they affirm. 

“Okay. Um. Here we go,” you sigh, letting the illusion drop. The people who you worked with for almost a year, the people you called your friends… their faces turn to shock when they see your other appendages. 

You stretch your wings out a little, their tawny colouration reflecting the fluorescent lighting of the back room. 

“Wow… you’re so,”  _ terrifying. Alien. Strange. Monstrous.  
_

“Beautiful,” Josh breathes. 

“See darling, I told you,” Loki whispers in your ear. You give him a watery smile.

“So can you like… fly around and shit?” Carroll asks. They’re not surprised, just accepting it.

“Yeah,” you answer. Carroll’s lips stretch into a smile. 

“Cool,” they nod. 

“You guys seriously aren’t scared?” 

“I mean, I’m a little sad that you thought we would be. You’re our friend, Smiley,” Katy says. 

You cup your hands over your face, trying to hide the happy tears that are starting to form. 

“Loki… you were right,” you say quietly. Loki puts a hand on your shoulder. 

“I knew it would be alright,” he affirms. 

Josh snaps his fingers. 

“That’s where I know you from! You’re the guy who fucked up New York that one time!” 

Your eyes widen in horror and you glare at Josh. 

“Yes. I am. So what?” Loki seethes. 

“Don’t screw with our girl!” Josh yells. He raises his fists in an attempt to be threatening, but he just looks silly, like a caricature. You rush over to Josh as Loki begins hissing. It’s hard to navigate through the stacks of books with your wings out, but you need to calm Josh. Or else… who knows what Loki will do. 

“Hey, Josh, it’s okay. Loki never meant to do any of that. And he’s been so kind to me. You needn’t worry,” you say. Josh’s jaw tenses, and he looks you up and down before sighing in defeat.

“If you trust him…” 

“Yeah, Smiles, you really trust the God of Lies?” Katy piped up. She isn’t looking at your face when she talks to you, rather at your wings.

_ I knew things would change. Even if Josh is the same with everyone, Katy’s always been nervous.  _

You glance back at the God in question. Loki looks so dejected and saddened by the air in the room. His hands clasp at his sides, and his head moves to look down. You can tell when he’s lying. And this… this is no illusion. 

“I trust Loki with my life,” you say confidently, your head raised. 

“Hey, you know him better than we do,” Carroll deadpans from the corner. 

Loki’s face instantly brightens, in the fractional way that other people don’t notice, and he visibly relaxes. 

Someone dings the bell at the front desk. 

“Hey, anyone back there? Hello?!” 

“Ach, duty calls, dears. Smiles,” Josh takes his hands in yours, and squeezes them lightly, “I still love you no matter what you look like. Leave your resignation on the table on your way out, and you have to visit, okay?” 

“Hello?!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming I’m coming!!” Josh yells. He waves to you and then jogs out of the back room. You turn back to face Katy. She watches you intensely, a crease between her eyebrows. 

“Katy… what’s wrong? Is it… is it me? Do you need me to leave? Should I hide the wings?” 

“No, n-no that’s not it, you don’t have to w-worry about it. I’m just… jealous,” 

“J-jealous?” 

“Well not jealous per se, but definitely amazed. You’re like a character out of a YA novel! So cool! You’re going to be an A-Avenger too!” She says excitedly. 

“Do you… want to touch them Katy?” Her eyes go as round as dinner platters.

“DO I?” Katy squeals. Loki snorts at her excitement.  


Carroll takes notice and flips him off, their death glare enunciated by their dark eye makeup. You’ve been the recipient of one of those looks before… it could kill definitely someone. 

Loki inches closer to you.  _ So the look could make even a god fear them.  _

Carroll puts their headphones on, and brushes past you with their normal goodbye of a tap on the shoulder and a peace out symbol.  _ Nice to see that things really haven’t changed between us. _

Katy is so excited that she starts petting your wings almost immediately when you curve them so that she can touch the outside. 

“So pretty, like one of the people in Maximum Ride!” Katy coos. Her hands twitch wildly for a second, and her hand brushes the inside of your wing. 

You yelp a little. Loki appears at your side the second you make the noise. You pat his side, assuring him you’re okay.

“Oh my goodness, I’m s-sorry, I can’t control myself, oh g-goodness, I’m such a m-mess,” she’s twitching harder now.  _ It probably doesn’t help that Loki is glaring at her from above me.  _

“No, Katy, it’s fine! it just a very sensitive spot over there,” you say comfortingly. You bend down so that she can look at your horns. 

Her hands are still fidgeting a bit but she caresses the horns anyway. Her touch is light and enjoyable.  _ I haven’t had anyone touch my horns in… ever.  _

You hum in contentment. Katy giggles. 

You grin at her excitement. 

“Okay munchkin,” you ruffle her hair affectionately, “you have to get back to work, and I promised this guy,” you point a finger at Loki mirthfully, “that we could read some.” 

Katy’s eyes go wide. 

“H-he likes to read t-too?” 

“Well, why don’t you ask him?” She gulps. Loki stands still, attempting to seem easy to talk to. 

It doesn’t work. 

She shuffles over to Loki nervously, her face downcast. You give Loki a discreet thumbs up from behind her, paired with a huge smile. 

“Hello young one,” Loki greets her. 

“H-hi t-there. D-do you like r-reading, like S-Smiles s-said?” 

“In fact, I do. I quite enjoy it. The libraries on Asgard are immense, and I could spend days in there,” Loki says fondly. 

“You speak like a British person. Or some other fancy accent,” Katy accuses, “are you really from A-Asgard?” 

“How dare you say that I lie! I’m most definitely a prince of Asgard,” Loki says royally, but not unkindly. It’s actually pretty funny. 

“T-that’s so cool! How did it f-feel to give birth to a h-horse?” 

“A- what?” 

“A horse, Sleipnir. It’s in the s-stories,” Katy said confidently. 

“I’ve never given birth to a horse! What-what is  _ wrong  _ with you mortals!” 

“I have to get back t-to work. It was n-nice meeting you L-Loki. You have t-to be good to S-smiles though, she’s s-such a good person,” Katy says strongly. 

“Katy-,” you start,  _ you don’t need to help me out here… _

“Of course,” Loki says solemnly. You blink, but your shock turns to bubbly happiness quickly. 

“Okay, Katy, get back to work. I’ll bring Loki back around soon to talk about more Asgardian stuff. We’re going to go read for a bit,” you say happily, lacing your fingers with Loki’s to lead him out of the back room. 

You wave to Josh at the front desk and drop off the resignation, aiming to go and settle in a corner with bean bags to go read some things. He shouts out your name. 

“What do you need, Josh?” 

“I know you’re not working here anymore, but are you still coming to the literary party for underprivileged kids? You planned it, and those kids love you, it would be a shame for you to miss it. But if you have to, I understand…” 

You bite your lip.  _ Would Tony let me go?  _

“Yes. She will be there.” Loki’s voice firmly states. 

“Oh, okay, great! You too, Lokes?” Josh leans forward flirtatiously. 

“Perhaps,” Loki says, an eyebrow raised. You roll your eyes at Josh before leading Loki to a fun section that you enjoy.  


You pick out a book for him and one for you. 

Loki lets you pull him through the library to your comfy spot. A new patron comes into the library, and you freeze.  _ I have to hide the wings.  _

“Darling. Leave them out. They’re enchanting,” Loki whispers. 

“But, Loki, people will  _ see _ ,” you insist. 

“Let them. You must accept this. Anyways, you are beautiful. I don’t understand how you can’t see it, and if you remember, you once said I had a penchant for beautiful things,” Loki says it nonchalantly, like it’s not a big deal. Maybe on Asgard it wasn’t. But for you...

You blush incredibly red , and sit yourself down on one of the cushy bean bags. 

“Fine then,” you murmur. “Come sit down,” you instruct him. 

He sits down elegantly, his legs crossed beneath him. 

Pages flip by as you sit by Loki comfortably, trying to ignore the stares that come from people walking past. 

You shake out an arm, and it brushes Loki’s scalp, who lies by your legs. 

“Purrrrrr,” 

Your head whips to Loki. 

Loki pretends not to have heard the adorable noise that had just escaped him. He continues to flip pages. 

You attempt it again experimentally, and you can see him strain to hold in the noise. 

“Darling… this is a library,” he says, his eyes never lifting from the words on the page. 

“Well, do you want me to stop?”   
  
You brush his head again.

“No…it feels so good…” he murmurs breathily. 

You put your hand back on his head, rubbing his scalp a bit. Your efforts are rewarded by another bout of soft purrs from the God. 

He adjusts his position so that you have better access to his hair, the top of his head resting on your stomach a little. 

You stay like that for almost five hours, a book propped up in your lap, a hand rubbing Loki’s head, his purring resonating in your abdomen. It’s quiet, and serene, and perfect. 

_ I could stay like this forever.  _ You sigh loudly, breaking the prolonged silence.

“Minou, I’d love to stay like this but we need to leave if we are going to get back to the tower before the others,” 

“I do not care about the others and what they may think,” 

“Chaton,” you start. Loki’s turn to be exasperated.

“Fine. If you insist. I will escort you back to the tower,” 

He untangles himself from your limbs gracefully, rising off the cushions neatly. He stretches his limbs, a book in one hand. It’s a kind of relaxed elegance. 

He extends a hand to you chivalrously and pulls you up, and in close. 

Suddenly, you and Loki are face to face, almost nose to nose. Mere inches separate the two of you in the fragile air. 

His eyes drink you in, turning green as they fill with some indescribable emotion. His breath comes fast, as if he has no control over it. 

“Loki,” you chastise lightly. 

“Yes, yes,” he says flusteredly. He releases you like he had forgotten he’d been holding you. You move past him as he stands stoic, his hands still holding the air where your hands had once lay. 

_ A sculptor could do him no justice.  _

“Come on minou,” you prod him, grabbing onto the hands that linger in space. His long fingers close over yours, cool to the touch. 

You pull him forwards, and he stumbles after you, almost tripping over the cushions on the ground. Your wings rustle as you backtrack through the library. 

“Norns mortal! Do you have somewhere to be?” 

You simply laugh, and wave goodbye to Josh and Katy as you drag Loki through the exit doors like a beloved children’s toy. 

**_Back at the tower_ **

You thought you had gotten to the tower early enough, truly. Apparently not. The entirety of the Avengers are sprawled around the living room. 

“Where were you two?” Tony sighs. 

“Um…” you start. The image of all the Avengers looking at you is kind of terrifying.

“We were at the library,” you say quietly. 

“You were supposed to stay here! Did you not listen to a thing I said?” Tony stands angrily.

You shrink a little behind Loki. 

“I-I convinced her to go outside. I didn’t want to stay inside,” Loki lies fluidly.  


Another twinge at the corner of your mind outlines the lie. 

“Yeah, you would,” Clint says, rolling his eyes. 

“No, that’s not what happened! Stop it Loki!” You glare at Loki. 

He’s still acting, and waves it off. 

“She wants to protect me, the kind thing, but nay, it was all me,” 

“Shut it!” You scream at him, wings flaring behind you. Instantly, you clap a hand over your mouth.  _ How long has it been since I yelled like that?  _

His eyes are wide at your outburst, and he remains silent. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get so angry… it’s just, we went to the library to hand in my resignation. We sat there for a while reading. I didn’t know that that would be a problem,” you state. 

“No, it’s no problem. We just had no idea where you were. We didn’t know if he- I mean, anyone, kidnapped you.” Bruce says kindly.  


The Avengers look at you uncomfortably.

“Well then. I’m going to go… take a shower,” you say uncertainty.  _ Awkward.  _

You run past the people standing there, ignoring Loki’s eyes as you dart to your room. 

One shower and new pajamas later, you sit on your bed, trying to come to terms with everything.  _ Why did he lie? Why is he so… so… overprotective?  _

Your hands clench at your sides.  _ He always has to lie about these stupid things!  _

A knock at the door. You remain silent, knowing full well who it is.

“Darling? Let me come in please, I’d like to apologize face to face,” Loki’s voice comes, slightly muffled by the door.

“You can come in chaton,” you give in. 

Loki goes and sits by your side.

“I am sorry for trying and protecting you-“ 

“No! I don’t want you to lie for me because you think it will protect me. I can handle it.” 

Loki nods. 

“And I had much… fun… with you today,” Loki admits softly. You like it when he gets all soft, truth coming out like water from a tap. 

“Me too. We can do it again, sometime if you’d like,” you say, meeting his eyes. 

A small smile graces his features. 

“I’d like that. Very much so,” 

Loki investigates your features. 

“Why don’t you wear the necklace I got you? Is it not to your liking? I can get another cut for you,” Loki frets. 

“No, no it’s gorgeous! I couldn’t wear it before, people would wonder where I got it from. I guess there’s nothing stopping me from wearing it now,” you ponder aloud.

“I’d feel better if you were wearing it. I’ve placed several charms over it, including one for protection, stamina, and a small tracking one for if you are in danger,” he says, his hand brushing over yours tentatively. 

“You-you can do that?” His eyes bore into yours curiously. 

“You cannot? I was under the impression that Fae were gifted magic users; and you certainly haven’t given me any reason to doubt the claim,” 

“I-I never had any guidance. Everything I learned I had learned from listening to some trees talk about Fae and from experimenting,” 

“You could learn to do so much! I would be honored if you’d allow me to instruct you…” 

“That would be so awesome!” You cheer. The small smile on Loki’s face grows larger at your excitement. 

“Tomorrow then? In the morning, so you can still go to that physical they demand you do?” 

“Sounds good Loki,” you chirp. Loki’s smile widens fractionally more, and he stands up to leave. You stand as well, holding your arms out for a hug. 

“What is this?” Loki says confusedly. 

“Hug?” you ask. 

“Oh,” he says quietly. 

He opens his arms in turn and you embrace him warmly, closing your wings around him. You hear him sigh contently as he leans over you, his arms reaching all the way around to touch where the beginnings of your wings meet your back. 

“Darling… I-“ the words get trapped in his throat and he separates himself. 

“Goodnight,” you call to him.

“Goodnight darling,” he responds weakly. 

You settle under the covers, grateful for their warmth. 

“Jarvis?” you ask of the room.

“Yes, Miss,” 

“Well, first of all, hi, how’s your day going?” 

“Oh. Miss, you do not have to ask me that,” 

“No, I want to. How was it?” 

“Not much was asked of me today, as the Avengers were absent for a large portion of the day. I must to say that the most productive part was playing music for you,” 

“Oh, that’s nice!” 

“I wanted- I thought- it occurred to my programming to ask you about more of this… philosophical thinking you have,” 

“I’d love to!” 

“Do you truly think that people, as you called it, can change so radically? Or that some aspects are doomed to remain the same?” 

“I think everyone can change. If you feel like a change is warranted, anything can happen if you try.”

“Thank you miss. I will now play your music for you so that you can rest well,” 

“Thank you Jarvis, have a good night too,” 

And that concluded your second day at the Tower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I’m a day early on posting but I was really excited. 
> 
> And, as always, Comments Questions Concerns! 
> 
> Thank you, for all your support and kind words. And kudos!
> 
> Oh, I almost forgot!  
> Should our Fae have a signature weapon?   
> If so, what? 
> 
> Let me know in the comments, and I’ll take all into consideration!


	11. 2-3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you must take the next steps to becoming an Avenger.

**July 3rd - Third Day at the Tower**

“Darling…” 

“Mhmm,” 

“Are you awake?” 

“Yes,” 

“You do not seem awake,” Loki’s no nonsense voice crows. 

“Leave me alone,” you moan. 

“Then I presume I must teach magic to the walls, hmm?” 

You shoot out of bed, blankets wrapped around you like a small nest. Loki stares at you openly, already dressed in green leather fighting gear. You watch as his eyes turn from blue to green. 

You pull the blankets closer to you, trying to hide yourself. You’re not naked, per se, but close. 

“I um, have to get dressed. Gimme a minute,” you say nervously. 

Loki stares at the exposed neck that hints at what lies lower. He licks his lips sensually. You shiver a little bit, at the green eyes that roam your body. 

“I have to get dressed minou,” you say sternly. 

“Or you don’t,” Loki murmurs. His hands twitch at his sides. 

“Out!” You squeal. _Is he ever going to be more subtle?_

He teleports with a flash of green, clearly not trusting himself to walk out. 

Tugging on a pair of yoga pants and other assorted work out clothes (as well as the necklace Loki has given you… if it really has all that stuff on it you’d be insane not to utilize it), you run out to the elevator. _Training room? Where is the training room?_

You stare openly at the hundreds, literally around hundred, buttons in front of you. 

“Um…” 

_I may be in over my head._

“Hey Red Robin! You need some help?” A familiar voice calls out. You poke your head out of the elevator doors that remain open. 

“That would be much appreciated, yes,” you call out to Clint. Natasha follows behind him, both decked in running gear.

“We’re going out for our morning run. What’s your excuse to be up this early?” Clint and Natasha slide into the elevator, and he closes the doors. 

“I’m going to go train with Loki! He’s gonna teach me to use my powers better,” you claim excitedly.

Nat presses two buttons, one for you and one for them. 

“Are you… sure that it’s a good idea to be so chummy chummy with Loki?” Clint asks you nervously. Your eyebrows furrow immediately.

“Why not?” 

“I mean, not only did he try and rule the human race, but he did that weird mind magic to me and others _and on top of that_ according to Thor he’s done countless other things…” 

“He saved my life. I don’t know why everyone is warning me about him!” You say in frustration. 

“We just want you to be careful,” Nat says gently, a hand resting on your shoulder. 

“Minou would never hurt me. He hasn’t hurt anybody as long as he’s been an Avenger. You should know that, you’ve known him longer than me!” 

“Well,” Clint says, scratching his head, “not really. He’s been with us on missions but he’s never really talked to us until recently. Until you, I guess. And all of us already love you, in case you didn’t realize…” 

You blush delicately, curving your wings to hide a little. Clint points a finger at you.

“See! That, that’s adorable!” 

“Barton, leave the poor girl alone. You’re too much,” Nat speaks, rolling her eyes. 

“Yeah yeah whatever, this is your stop anyways,” Clint holds the door open for you. You give them a shy wave. 

“Have fun on your run!”

“Have fun with Reindeer Games!”

You giggle at his nickname. Though you can only guess at what it means, it is apparently a common nickname for him. 

You follow some helpful signs to the training room. Cracking open the door a smidgeon, you peek inside. Loki appears to be… meditating? 

He sits cross legged in the center of the room, levitating a few feet in the air. You watch, enraptured, as he seems to flicker.

Then, two, three, four, six, too many to count, Loki’s of different everything are levitating in the room. 

Kid Loki’s, Female Loki’s, Blue Loki’s, Teen Loki’s, Unicorn Loki (?), Giant Loki’s, Lokitty, Snake Loki’s, Cartoony Loki’s, Wolfish Loki’s… you step inside the room, and the door makes a loud creaking noise. 

With a quick snap, all the Loki’s are part of him once again. Your Loki. Or rather the Loki you know. 

“Ah, darling, glad you made it,” he says suavely, strolling towards you. 

“What… what was that?” You squeak, ruffling your feathers nervously. You can still smell the almost metallic tang of magical residue in the room. Loki’s sharp eyes soften and his jaw clenches.

“I apologize, did I scare you?” 

“No, I’ve just… never seen anything like that before.” 

“Ah yes, few witness the unraveling of a God’s multiple personas,” he condones, “there are a great many sides to a god you know. Especially one who is also a shapeshifter. It can be… confusing. To decide on who I am sometimes.” 

You shrug. 

“I think you’re great no matter what you look like or feel like.” 

“You truly… do not care what one looks like on the outside?” 

“I mean, you’re the same on the inside right?” 

“I -erm- yes, I am,” 

“Then I don’t mind! When you spend the majority of your life with people running from you because you look like,” you gesture to your horns and wings wildly, “ _this,_ you try not to judge people based on what they look like,” 

“You are more aware and poignant than anyone I’ve ever met, on this realm and others,” Loki says softly. 

“Well, I try. Now, what are we learning first?” 

~~~~~~~

Almost three hours later, the sun has been in the sky for quite a while, and you are almost spent in terms of magic. Loki has pushed you, hard, to reach through your magical capacities. Although your magic is different than Loki’s seiðr, there is a large overlap. 

Despite the tiredness, you’ve learned quite a few tricks. 

“I think we should be done for now, and acquire some breakfast. What about you darling?” He says lightly. 

“Uhhhh huhhh,” you make out. 

“You did better than I ever thought you could. I’m impressed you lasted this long,” he admits. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You bite at him. 

“The histories did not exaggerate the magical capabilities of Fae,” he simply says. 

“The… histories?” 

Loki looks at you strangely. 

“You surely did not think you were the only Fae?” 

“I- I don’t know? Where are the rest of them? Do you know them??” 

This is the first you’ve heard of others. _All those years not knowing who I am, what I am… they could tell me everything._ You rock on your toes excitedly. 

Loki’s face falls. 

“Darling…” 

“What?”

“The Dark Fae have all but died out. You are the only one, to my knowledge, that exists. They were slaughtered, apparently, before even my time,” 

Your knees give out, and you fall to the floor. Loki’s there immediately, pulling you to his chest. 

“I-I… I thought that maybe… maybe there’s at least- one… to tell me… w-what I am…” you choke. Loki hugs you tighter, his forehead pressed to yours.

“I’m sorry for upsetting you. I should have said nothing,” he whispers. 

“No,” you swallow painfully, “I’m glad you did. Now… now at least I know. I’ll stop looking,” 

He brushes a hair behind your ear before helping you up. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, looking regretful. 

“I’m okay,” you say with fake cheer. You know he knows that it’s a lie, but he doesn’t mention it. 

“Let’s go get breakfast, mon minou,” 

“Darling,” he says. He looks deflated, hollowed out. 

“I don’t want to talk about it. And you need to eat some breakfast if you are going to do well on your mission today!” Your voice cracks in the middle of the sentence, and you ignore it. 

His lower lip trembles. 

“I’m-...” he starts again. 

“Loki. It’s fine. We can talk about this later, okay?” You grab his hand lightly. 

“Okay,” he murmurs, brushing his thumb across your hand. 

You smile at him, and he smiles back. 

_For a god, he is almost fragile as me. Fragile as a Fae with no blood family._

You lead him downstairs to join with the rest of the team. 

“Steve! You made breakfast?” You squeal excitedly at the image of the Captain at the stovetop. 

“Well, I _tried_ to make breakfast. You made it look so easy!” You laugh at him, and dart over to him to investigate his work. To say the least… it’s not good. 

“Is this… pancakes or eggs? I can’t really tell…” 

“It’s um… started out as pancakes, then I scraped it, and it became all the eggs in the fridge…” he says sheepishly. 

“Steve. This is horrific.” 

“I know, I know,” Steve laments, “I wasn’t good at cooking before I went into the ice, I don’t know why I thought that would change,”

“Nat said you were bad, but I didn’t think it was Worst Cooks in America bad…” 

“What is ‘Worst Cooks in America’?” Steve questions you.

“Oh, we have some catching up to do, my friend,” you chuckle. 

Turning back to his ruined dish, you try and decide if it can be salvaged. Steve walks out of the room, sneaking past Loki who you can tell is still looming in the doorway. 

_Yeah, no this is garbage. Into the trash!_

“Jarvis?” You call out. 

“Yes, Miss.” 

“Do me a favor, and order bagels for the team? Put it on Loki’s tab,” you ask sweetly. Loki’s eyes narrow. 

As you stroll out of the kitchen, you peck Loki’s cheek. His cheeks immediately turn red, and he starts blubbering. 

“Thanks for breakfast, mon minou,” you chirp. 

“I- uh- aah- anytime,” he croaks. 

_I know I shouldn’t be teasing him, but dear god it’s so fun._

You take a trip to your room to pick up a book you’ve been reading, and by the time you make it back downstairs, the bagels have already arrived.

“Thanks kid! Making sure we aren’t poisoned by Star Spangled Banner, always helpful,” Tony says. 

“Heh, anytime Tony. Is that what you wear to battle?” You ask curiously. 

He’s put on a familiar red and yellow suit, and is eating his bagel inside of it. 

“Hi, I’m Iron Man,” he says, flashing finger guns at you. 

“Brother! Are you ready to embark on the mission?” Thor booms. 

As you look around the room at the suited up Avengers, you make a helpful connection. 

“Who’s going to take me to the physical is you’re all away?” 

“You can’t go on your own?” Tony questions.

“I-I mean, I could… but I-I don’t…” 

Loki’s arms appear around your waist. 

“I will stay with you,” he claims. 

“No, Reindeer Games. You have to come with the crew this time. No canoodling.” Tony fires at him. Loki growls. 

“I’ll get Rhodey and Pepper to take her,” Tony sighs, picking up his phone. 

“Thanks for trying, minou,” you whisper to him. Loki just nuzzles your neck affectionately. You push him aside gently, trying to ignore the little noise of unhappiness that escapes him. It’s very similar to what you’d do with him as a cat: you’d be petting Lokitty and then move your hand… cue little sad noise. 

With a swish of his hand and a bit of magic, Loki turns into his battle armor. The tall horns above his head rival yours.

“TWINS!” you laugh aloud. 

“Mine are the most beautiful though,” Loki snarks. 

“I don’t think so minou! Mine are _natural_.” 

“You’re right, I was lying. You’re the most heavenly thing I’ve ever seen,” Loki murmurs in your ear. 

“Stop it! Stop canoodling! Jesus, it’s like you’re teenagers. We have to get going, but Pepper and Rhodes will be here in a little bit. Is that all right?” 

“Thank you Tony,” you say solemnly. _He didn’t have to, could have made me go on my own, but he didn’t._

Tony pats you on the head awkwardly. You, instead, wrap your arms around his middle in a crushing hug. 

“Oh…” he says dumbly. 

“I’m a hugger,” you smile into his chest. His arms wrap around you in return, his head resting between your horns. It’s a little uncomfortable with him wearing his suit, but you needed to get the point across. 

“This is nice,” he laments. You separate from him, waving goodbye happily. 

The mask in his suit falls over his face, and he joins the rest of the Avengers in running outside.

Loki heads towards the rest of the Avengers for a moment, and then turns back to you. 

He scans your face desperately, nervous energy radiating off of him. 

Loki grabs your shoulders, his elegant hands pressing into the exposed skin harshly. 

“Be safe. Do not do anything you are not comfortable with. And just call for me, if you have need of me. I will come for you,” Loki struggles to let go, despite the many calls of the awaiting Avengers. 

“You have to leave, Loki,” you whisper. 

A little whine escapes his pursed lips, and he steals one last look at you before teleporting away. 

You sigh, placing a hand over your heart. 

_Perhaps it’s not love, merely friendship?_ Your stomach does somersaults, but it is easy to convince yourself that this is the result of a very very very handsome man with very very very pretty words paying attention to you. 

“Hey, did the Scooby Gang take off yet?” A voice asks from behind you. You jump out of your seat, your head whipping this way and that to determine the source of the sound. 

“Hawkeye?” 

“On the nose, kiddo,” Clint replies, taking a sip of his coffee while scrolling on his phone.

“How-why… why are you still here? You’re supposed to be with them!” You exclaim. 

_What??_

“Ehh, they don’t really need me on this one. It’s all close range bloody fights. I’m better for the bigger fights or sneaking. And I’m heading out for the Fourth of July to be with my family, and needed to pack up some junk,” he says conversationally. 

“Minou is going to be livid if he figures out that he wasn’t allowed to stay and you were…” 

“I don’t give a rats ass about what Danger Noodle thinks. And on the bright side, I’ve already packed! I can come with you to SHIELD. Based off of my first meeting, you’re going to need the buddy back up,” 

You shiver a little. _And I thought I was nervous before…_

“Don’t worry bout the physical or whatever they’re calling it these days, Elphaba. You’ll be fine, especially with me there. They love me!” 

“Did you just call me the Wicked Witch of the West character? From the musical?” 

“Yeah, me and Tony are competing to find the best nickname for you before your induction to the Avengers. Not one of my best ones, I gotta admit. And I’m surprised you knew what I was talking about,” 

“Of course I do!! I love reading, so I read the original. And the musical was so fantastic! Going to see musicals may be one of the only times I’ve used my illusion abilities for not _one hundred percent_ legal reasons,” 

Clint chuckles, and moves over to your side to clap you on the back. 

“A true role model. But honestly, I’ve done more than my share of crime in my day,” 

You grin toothily at Clint who smiles back at you, giving your side a squeeze. 

“I want my kids to end up just like you. All empathetic and heroic and stuff,” 

You shrug off his shoulder, scrunching your eyebrows together. 

“Okay, two things! First, I’m not _that_ much younger than you! I’m an _adult._ Second, kids? Are you married?” 

Clint quirks an eyebrow mysteriously. 

“Can you keep a secret?” 

“I am a secret.” 

“You sound just like Nat,” Clint snorts, and starts to walk away.

“Get on with it! I’m dying over here!” 

“Yeah, I’m married. I didn’t want anyone to use Laura or Cooper or Lila against me, so it’s a secret. Nat is the only other person who knows about this, so you gotta zip it okay?” 

You mime sipping your lips playfully. 

“See, you’re a kid!” 

“Fine, I get your point.” 

Jarvis’s voice resonates through the speakers.

“Miss, Ms. Potts and Col. Rhodes are here to escort you to the Helicarrier. I will prepare the helicopter to be at the pad. Is that satisfactory?” 

“Thank you Jarvis! Are we still on for our nightly philosophy tonight?” 

“It would be my pleasure and honor, Miss,” 

Clint gives you a weird look as Jarvis’s voice disappears.

“You… know he’s an AI right?” Clint questions.

“Yup. But he’s also my friend!” 

“Dang, the Noodle’s right about you,” Clint laughs. 

“What? What did he say?” You fret. You know Loki has rather _strong_ feelings for you. If he’s normally pretty spitfire with his words, what's it like when he talks about you?

“Haha, nothing bad. I don’t think that poor guy could say anything bad about you, how smitten he is. Loki said that,” Clint leans back dramatically in a mockery of a Loki stance, 

“he had never, in his thousands of years of life, met someone as thoughtful and kind as you. Someone who sees the best in people, genuinely, and is so empathetic and loving that's it's a downright shame that everyone isn’t like you,” he moves back to a regular position, stretching his arms. 

“Or a better way of phrasing the same thing. Damn silver tongued snake,”

Clint looks to the windows. 

You blush profusely. _Loki… said that about me?_

You shouldn’t be surprised at this point but it’s still there. A glittery bubbly shiney feeling. 

The elevator dings as two forms walked into the living room. 

The woman has pretty hair, a unique colour, and a bright smile. You’re immediately taken with her: mostly because the first thing she looked at were your eyes, not the horns or wings. She holds her hand out to you. 

“Hi there. I’m Pepper. I’m going to make sure everything goes smoothly, okay?” 

You shake her hand.

“Tony told me you’re the one whose going to make everything work out! If you can make that mans life work, I’m going to be a breeze,” you say. The other person approaches you nervously. 

“James Rhodes. But Tony’s probably told you to call me-“ 

“Rhodey!” You smile. _This is what I’m used to: the fearful skittishness._

“He said you had some ‘extra appendages’ but I didn’t think it would be giant feathered wings,” Rhodey sighs. 

“Do they make you uncomfortable? I can get rid of them…” 

“Kid,” Clint starts, “you don’t have to hide yourself. He’s just surprised because Tony’s not really good about warning people about what he’s throwing them into,” 

“Exactly,” Pepper agrees, “now let’s get to that helicopter!” 

“I could just fly there…” you murmur as your entourage escorts you to the elevator lobby. 

“It would probably be better if you came in a more typical way. They’re may be a few trigger happy people up there…” Rhodey theorizes. 

_So that’s why Rhodes is here. Because he knows what it’s like to be in a military area. Pepper’s here because she makes things work out and Clints here because… he likes me._

“You’re going to love the Helicarrier kid. It’s like a little flying city. The population of a small town hovering over New York City,” Clint whispers. You brighten immediately. 

You move around with them without argument, looking out the window of the plane longingly the entire trip up. Jarvis, or some kind of similar program, flew the plane. Very high tech. Made you wish you had a glass of champagne. 

No, you don’t want to waste their money. They’ve already spent so much on you! 

But then again. When had you ever been able to even afford champagne until now? You should ask someone about that. 

Lost in your musings, you barely notice when the helicopter lands. 

“Kiddo, we’re here…” Clint singsongs. 

You practically skip out the helicopter. It’s just like Clint said: a small city in the sky. It’s breathtaking, and takes the edge off of your trepidation. An agent nearby calls your name. 

“That’s us,” Pepper says astutely. 

He nods, and motions for you to follow him into the belly of this mechanical beast. 

There are winding tunnels going deep into the underground of the ship. It’s very sleek and high tech, all types of agents and people walking by. 

You’re already curling your wings to hide you from the glances and sometimes open stares you receive on the way to… the examining room? Wherever you’re being taken. 

You feel comforted by Rhodey on one side and Clint on the other, with Pepper leading the way. 

But... you pick up whispers as you walk by with your advanced hearing. 

“What is that?” 

“Fury’s picked up another freak…”

“Creepy looking thing,”

“Is it demonic?” 

You let out a little discontented noise, somewhere between a whimper and a sob. 

_This is why I always stay hidden._

You start slowing down in the hallway, trying to ignore the murmurs. 

“Hey hey hey, kid, it’s okay. No one is going to hurt you,” Clint puts a reassuring hand on your back, and Rhodey gives you a kind smile.

“They are all whispering about me. They’re calling me a monster… I shouldn’t have come…” you tense. 

“They just don’t know you. Wait until you start kicking ass and then they’ll be singing a different tune. But before we get there we gotta get this thing done. Can you do that?” Clint implores you.

“I-I think so…”

“We’re almost there,” Pepper informs you. 

You take only a few more scurried steps before the agent leading you is holding open a door for you to enter. 

You step inside and are met with a huge room with all kinds of equipment for measuring things. Your height, size, everything. 

“Hello, I’m Maria Hill. I’ll be heading your physical today,” a smart woman comes up to you. She dismisses the man who brought you in. 

“Hello,” you respond meekly. 

Rhodey taps your elbow. 

“Don’t be scared, there no way they’d hurt you and risk the power of the Avengers being sicced on ‘em,” he whispers in your ear. You giggle a little, and then smile at Maria.

“What’s first?” 

~~~~~~

Apparently, a lot. You go through countless fitness exams, and a health check up before you finally sit down across from her to list your powers. 

“Okay, now is the fun bit. Please list all of your known abilities,” Hill says. 

“Let’s see. I can fly, obviously. I have healing abilities due to my connection to the earth as a Fae, I can create pretty realistic illusions…” 

“Can you list some examples of your illusions?” 

“Well, I can make things invisible to the naked eye, and objects appear that aren’t really there. Should I continue?” 

“Yes, please,” Hill makes notes wildly in her book. 

“I have better hearing and sight than most people. I can communicate fairly well with nature. And… um… I can make portals…” 

“What was that last bit?” Hill questions curiously. 

“I can, ahem, make portals. I’ve only ever done it once, but I think if I really tried I could do it again. I’ve only ever been able to do it in flight,” you answer shyly. You’ve never been up front about this ability: you’ve only ever used it as a last resort. 

“Wait, portalling? You never said anything about that, kiddo,” Clint says from your side. You don’t know when he had appeared there, but he is all the same. 

“Are they interdimensional? Long or short distance?” Hill fires off rapidly. 

“I uh… don’t know? I’ve never experimented, too dangerous. Takes a lot out of me,” you confide. Maria nods, and makes a note.

“We should investigate that ability, could be useful,” she says, “but for now, let’s test those wings, shall we?” 

Trepidation flares in your stomach as you follow her lead to a terrifying looking machine. 

_If Clint trusts these people they have to be okay. Trust the process._

“We’re going to strap your wings into this, and it will test them for numerous things very quickly,” a stone faced agent says. 

“O-okay,” you tremble. The machine is huge, and has large handles to grasp your wings. You’ve just barely gotten used to leaving your wings out, and now they expect you to let people latch you into some kind of crazy device? 

You pause and look out the window into the city beyond.

“Loki,” you whisper, “I’d feel a lot safer if you were here. Clint and Pepper and Rhodey are here and I know they won’t let anything happen to me but it’s still scaring me. If you can come, please, Loki, I’d be a lot happier,” you whisper under your breath. You stand still for a minute before an agent clears his throat. 

“Are you ready?”

You look at the window one more time. 

“That’s okay, Loki. I-I’ll be okay,” you assure Loki somewhere and also yourself. Nodding the to man, you step into the machinery. 

The machine grips your wings, and you flinch, but it’s not that bad. 

It’s surprisingly gentle, stretching your wings smoothly to measure them. It’s all done in only a few minutes. The agent reaches out a hand to help you down. 

You smile brightly at him, and he is startled into smiling back. 

Pepper walks over to your side, and gives you a side hug. 

“That wasn’t that bad, was it?” Pepper asks.

“No, no it wasn’t. Thank you for being here Pepper,” you respond. 

“It’s no problem. You’re a very sweet girl,” she says. 

“Hey, Bubblegum Fairy, that was great, but I have some not as great news from the Avengers…” Clint worriedly nudges your side.

“What?” The fear had been gone for all of five minutes before BAM, its back. 

“Somethings happened to Loki… he got shot with something meant to take down Hulk. Apparently he wasn’t being careful and tried to run from the building… but that’s all I’ve heard. They should be close to the tower around now,” Clint taps on his phone wildly. 

“He needs me to come heal him,” you state. 

“Yeah, probably…” Clint says distractedly. 

You spin to Maria Hill who watches the scene worriedly. 

You point to the windows.

“Open the windows.” You roll your shoulders and stretch your wings. 

“What do you mean? You couldn’t possibly dive all the way down there! And the shooters… you have to let me call Fury first,” Hill frets. 

“I’ll be okay, I’ll go faster than the bullets! I can take it, you’ve got to let me go,” you insist. 

“Open the windows, Maria. She’s strong. She can take it,” Clint says unwaveringly. He catches your eye: _you better be able to do it._

There a loud whirring as the windows begin to open. You crouch into a running stance. _This is going to hurt._

“Everyone hold on to something! The wind tunnels going to be insane…” Hill yells. 

Everyone grabs onto the walls. You take a deep breath as the wind starts to whip around the room. 

Once the window is large enough, you splay your wings wide and take a running start. 

You run and jump into the air, the wind taking your breath immediately. 

You regain it, and tuck your wings. You shoot down into the city, the wind pulling at your face painfully. You hear the tell tale sound of bullets firing but ignore it.

_I’m too fast for you!_

They don’t even come close to you, taken the speed you’re flying at.

It hurts, but not as much as it would hurt if Loki gets fatally injured because of you. Snapping your wings open, you try to slow your fall into the helicopter pad of the Avengers Tower. You bat your wings a few times to slow down. 

You still tumble into the pad, skinning your knees a bit but as a whole, in a much better shape than you’d thought you’d be in. 

Racing through the doors, flying down the hallways. 

“Jarvis, where’s Loki?”

“Left then a right Miss. They’re heading towards the elevator,” he responds dutifully.

“Thanks,” you call out before following his directions. 

You find Loki on a stretcher, blood covering his abdomen. You dart to his side, waving off the few doctors holding him. 

You lift his shirt to see the wound. It’s ugly and angry, but fixable. 

“Dar-ling…” you hear Loki murmur from above you. 

“Hey Loki, I’m going to fix you up don’t worry,” 

“I- trust you… are you-” his voice, usually like velvet, sounds garbled. 

You look at the assembled doctors, searching for a familiar face. Bruce is in attendance, and you wave him over frantically. You grip the front of his shirt desperately. 

“I need you to remove the bullet,”

“That could fatally injure him…” 

“I’ll heal him right after. I don’t want to heal him if the bullets still in,” you counter. He nods his approval and moves forward to do as you said. 

“Get away from me, mortal swine,” Loki growls. He jerks his body away from Bruce. 

Bruce gestures to you to ‘deal with him’. You move to cradle his head carefully. He makes a high pitched sigh. He tries to sneak a glance back at Bruce to see what he’s doing, a sneer already in place.

“Hey, hey, Loki! Look at me, look at me,” you implore him. His eyes shift to meet yours, and his lips turn down. 

“I’m sorry… Are you… okay…?” 

“What do you mean minou?” 

“I t-told you to… call for me… I couldn’t… I tried to…” he grits out as the tongs enter his open wound. You smooth back his hair as his jaw locks in pain. 

“Almost out,” Bruce says. 

“Minou, I’m not mad. I’m upset you got hurt though,” 

“I tried…” 

“I know. It’s okay.” Bruce signals that it’s out. Magic spills from your fingertips and encircles the wound, closing it quickly. 

“You’re going to get tired, and then I want you to go to sleep, okay?” You ask. 

“Mhmm. Stay… with… me ...” 

“Okay, minou. If that’s what you want,” you chuckle. 

“You’re all I want, my love,” he says sleepily before closing his eyes.

Your heart beats wildly for a moment. It slows, and you investigate the wound. 

“It’s completely healed,” Bruce pipes up. You smile weakly. Bruce puts his hand on your shoulder. 

“Do you need to rest? It seems like that took a lot out of you,” he questions worriedly. With more practice, the healing should get easier, but that takes time. It would be good to get a tree or something in your rooms to help with power… 

“I’ll get him into bed, and then I’ll go to sleep. It was really tough flying here from the Carrier and the wound was deep and hard to heal,” you sigh. 

Bruce nods, and helps you get a sleeping Loki into the elevator and onto your floor. Sleeping Loki was a treat. He was so open and innocent in sleep, his lips pursed open and chest rising delicately with each easy breath. You and Bruce roll him into his bed and you tuck him in.

Loki twitches a little in his sleep, his eyes moving under their lids. 

You brush a hand over his head, letting your fingers run through his hair. A contented sigh is released from the man, and Loki settles once more. Bruce takes his leave. 

_He sleeps just like a cat… all curled up._ A yawn escapes you, and you pad over to your room. A bed has never felt better to your aching bones.

**Sometime later that day…**

“D-darling? Darling??” A voice calls out drowsily. You are able to watch, tiredly but amusedly, as a stumbling Loki attempts to open your door. 

He’s sluggish, feet dragging on the ground, but stumbles towards you in bed. You rise to meet him. Of course, he stumbles into you, and you have to catch Loki before he falls. 

“Are you… okay? Did they hurt you??” He slurs. 

“Hey, hey, I’m fine,” you assure him whilst rubbing his back, “you’re still exhausted you have to go back to sleep minou,” 

Loki’s head rolls onto your shoulder. 

“I couldn’t _bear_ it if anything happened to you and I-I wasn’t t-there… you’re mine. Mine to protect,” he whispers.

You pretend not to hear: after all, how do you respond to ‘you’re mine’? Vehemently deny it? Angrily accuse him? Or because some sexy part of you wants to see past that chest, make a sultry response? 

You get him back into bed, using your wings to support Loki’s weight. 

“Okay, back to sleep with you,” you playfully instruct. 

“Yes dearest,” Loki pliantly obeys. You turn to leave, but Loki yanks your arm back to him. 

He rubs a thumb over your skin. 

“I would do anything to you, you know that? How could you make me such a mess like you do?” Loki questions.

It’s still sheathed in his sleepy voice, your magic doing its job, but there is truth in it. 

“I don’t know Loki. I don’t know,” you sigh. With that you get out of the room and back to your quarters. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to post something!
> 
> Questions, comments, concerns!
> 
> And, if you guys have any ideas for a weapon for our Fae please let me know in the comments!


	12. 2-4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you must combine two worlds.

**July 4th, Fourth Day at the Tower**

You’re up before the sun rises. It’s the Fourth of July, so there are even more people in NYC than normal. It’s not your favorite holiday (your favorite being Halloween, where you could walk around wings out and only receive compliments on your great costume), and the fireworks make you confined to the ground, and the loud noises bother you, but...  the food tastes good.   


You almost remark on how many leftovers get thrown away for you to eat before you realize that you don’t have to scavenge any more. 

Huh. 

Either way, it’s also the day of the carnival you hold annually at the library. All the kids in the city are invited, and there is a fundraiser to give back to the surrounding community. 

It was always nice to do these things for the people. Especially kids who were just as sad as you were before you started helping people. 

You know you have to set up down at the library, but a little breakfast never hurt anyone, right? 

Grabbing a plate of leftover bagels and cream cheese, you plop down at the kitchen table. To your surprise, Loki sits down across from you. 

“Good morning, darling,” he comments smoothly. 

“Hi chaton, glad you’re feeling better,” you respond brightly, “I can’t wait to help out at the library today!” 

A glimmer of green appears in Loki’s eyes, but it disappears as fast as it comes. 

“Ah yes. You know, darling, I’ve been thinking about what you said a while ago,” 

“What’s that?” 

“You said you did not even know me,” he watches your expression as he says the words.

“Yes…” 

“I have discovered a means to remedy this situation. And we would be done by the time you have to leave to set up the event you are organizing. Shall we?” A small smile graces Loki’s features. 

_ He really wants this. And clearly, he feels better. He doesn’t even favor his non-wounded side… must be those Asgardian genetics.  _

“Okay, minou. What do you have in mind?” 

“I believe it is called ‘20 Questions’?” 

“Who told you about this game?” You laugh. 

“I used the… what is it called… inter-net?” 

“Let's do it then. I get to choose 20 questions, and you answer them?” 

“Yes, I believe so,” he responds. His eyes light up like a child at the prospect of a game.

Loki is a little like a child when it comes to games… after all, mischief is like a game, isn’t it? 

“The first question?” 

“Okay okay… um… what’s your favorite… animal?” You’re thinking on the fly and it’s the first thing that came to mind.   


Loki raises an eyebrow, silently laughing at you. You’re about to recant your question when he obliges you. 

“I’d have to say snakes. I connect with them. Though I am partial to cats,” 

“Mhmm kay Voldemort, next question. What is your favorite thing about Midgard?” This is an actual logical question. He leans back in his chair, expression turning flirtatious, 

“You-“ 

“Not me!” You squeal happily. 

“Hm. That requires much more thought,” Loki taps his lips in a contemplative manner, “probably Midgard's cake. The one that you showed me. Asgard has cake, but not like that,” 

“Yeah, that’s good stuff. Well then, what’s your favorite thing about Asgard?”

“I love a great many things about Asgard, and despise others. But I have always loved my mother, Frigga,” 

“You’re a mommy’s boy, aren’t you!” You realize excitedly. He crosses his arms and blushes. 

“No, I detest the mere notion of-“  _ Lie.  _

“You are!!” 

He leans towards you, the back of the chair coming forward. There is a mischievous light in his eyes. 

“A little bit,” he admits.  _ Truth!  _

“Aha! Well, another question. Um… did you actually give birth to a horse like Katy said?” 

“NO! What is the problem with mortals asking me that question??” 

The way he spits out ’mortals’ reminds you of a very important question. 

“Loki… you know I’m mortal too? That I’ll die someday?” Loki immediately looks like he is going to be sick; a barely concealed whimper escapes his lips. You look at your lap.

“I-I know that… I don’t like to think about it.” 

“I shouldn’t have said anything… why do you even like me?” You run a hand through your hair, maneuvering around the horns. 

Loki’s eyes go soft, still a vibrant green, and he catches your eye. 

“Why do I  _ love  _ you? I love you because you are the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen-“ 

“I’m sure there are pretty women in Asgard,” you fume. 

“Well, yes, but you’re  _ different _ ,” he sputters. 

“So you like me because I’m  _ exotic _ ?” You accuse.   


There’s no anger behind this… Loki seems to think there is, and is getting all flustered. Apparently all you need to trip up a silver tongue is ask about his love life or give him a kiss on the cheek... good to know.   


Loki slams his palms on the table. 

“NO! I love you not just for who you are on the outside, but because you are kind and empathetic even when you’re lacking resources. Because… you are kind to me, and everyone. Unconditionally. And even though the world has been so cruel to you time and time again somehow you are able to come back at it with more affection,” he chants. 

He grabs your hand, his eyes ablaze with passion. He squeezes it, not too hard but enough to get the idea across. 

“I love you because you are unlike anyone I’ve ever met in all my years of life. I love you because there is absolutely no one like you in the whole universe. I love you because you can do things that no one else can,” he moves your hand to his heart, so that you can feel it beating ever so quickly, “I love you because you are the only one who has  _ ever  _ made me feel like this,” 

Loki holds your gaze for a moment, before sighing and falling back into his chair. Your hand lingers for a moment midair, your lips pursed. 

“I believe that was eight questions. And I gave a considerable amount of answers already, you minx.” He accuses you lamely. 

“Well… what’s your favorite um… Avenger?” 

Loki groans. 

“Can I say myself?” 

“No.” 

“Can I say-“ 

“You cannot say me!” 

“Well. Then no one.” 

“Not even Thor?” 

“I HEAR MY NAME!” Thor’s voice booms as he walks in the room. Loki’s eyes narrow and he points at Thor like ‘him’? You giggle a little bit. 

“Hi Thor, did you sleep well?” You ask him, a wide smile on your face. 

“Why yes I did! Thank you for asking, dear lady.” He booms.  _ It’s like he only has one volume setting and it’s ‘LOUD’.  _

Thor goes to the kitchen to collect his breakfast staple: pop tarts. 

“Hey Thor?” You call after him. 

“Yes fair maiden?” 

“Are you any good with kids?” 

“I AM THE BEST WITH CHILDREN!” Thor cheers. 

“Can you come help me set up and maybe entertain some kids at my event today? It’s at my old library where I worked, and there’s all kinds of carnival games. Having you there would totally bring way more clout,” you theorize. You feel Loki’s deadly glare slice into poor Thor, but honestly… you really like hanging with Loki but he can be a little… devious? Not good with children? 

“I am honored,” he nods. 

“You can walk with me there then. Go enjoy your pop tarts big guy!” 

Thor beams and ruffles your hair affectionately. 

You straighten it out. Loki clears his throat. 

“Yes, mon minou?” You respond. He walks over to you dejectedly. 

“Why didn’t you ask me, darling? I can be a caretaker for children,” 

“I didn’t think you’d want to… you don’t exactly give off a wholesome vibe...” 

Loki takes your hand in his cold ones and gives it a breath of a kiss. 

“I am full of surprises dearest,” he says sensually. 

You pull your hand away. Loki quirks an eyebrow at you. 

“Hmm… I wonder if the rest of the Avengers would come if asked…” you wonder aloud. 

Loki shrugs. 

“Jarvis?” You ask hopefully. 

“Already on it, miss. And I searched for the philosophy of existence while you were asleep. Very interesting. I look forward to sharing it with you at a later hour,” he responds dutifully.

“Awesome!! Thanks,” you respond thankfully. 

Jarvis quickly comes back with responses. 

“Mr. Stark says he has better things to do than attend a child’s carnival,” 

Loki growls, a savage sound, and is very quickly poised to teleport to Tony’s rooms to beat him up. 

You place a hand on his shoulder and shake your head at him.

“Stabbing people isn’t the answer, minou,” you remind Loki. 

“Jarvis, please tell Tony that there are a lot of single moms there,” you implore Jarvis. 

There is an immediate response:

“Mr. Stark will be there late, but there all the same. Perhaps with his suit on. Ms. Romanov is attending, she will leave with you. Mr. Banner is in the middle of something but will see if he could stop by later. Mr. Rogers will be joining you momentarily,” Jarvis recounts. 

You smirk at Loki. 

“Mhmm, more clever than I,” he snickers. 

Steve shows up in the room, right on cue. 

“I heard about volunteering?!?” He cheers. 

“Yup! You can help me set up, and then maybe help out with directing one of the more complicated games?” 

“Whatever you need! I love helping people,” Steve agrees.

“So we’re just waiting on Nat and Thor and then we’re off!” 

A mere 15 minutes later, you and your assembled team of Natasha, Steve, Thor, and Loki venture out to the library. 

The 4th of July carnival was usually set up around the entire block encompassing said library. Josh and Carroll has come early to help as well, and were already putting up tables around the library. 

“Hey, I'm glad you could make it, Smiles! Wouldn’t be the same without you!” Josh exuberantly waves at the people you brought. Carroll’s eyes widen a bit. 

“When you said you were working for the Avengers, I didn’t think it would be like this…” they grumble. 

“I thought we could use some more helping hands?” You shrug happily. Turning to your crew you put on your metaphorical party planner hat. 

“Thor and Steve, go build the carnival games. On the grass of the park next door please... Natasha, set up more tables. Sidewalk. Loki, can you use your magic to move things to their proper places? I’ll give you the map,” you instruct. 

“You’re the boss,” Steve sings before he joins Thor in setting up Skeeball. 

With the muscle and magic helping you out, you get set up with everything hours before usual. 

Josh is so excited about getting things done early that he treats everyone to lemonade and cookies.  _ He’s like a housewife _ … you laugh to yourself. 

A housewife currently crushing hard on Captain America. Who remains completely oblivious. 

“Loki, Loki, loooooook,” you poke him insistently. He grabs your finger before you can poke him again. 

“What could possibly be so important?” 

“Mischief, dear chaton, mischief,” you answer with fake seriousness.   


Loki quirks an eyebrow beautifully and then looks where you’re pointing. 

Josh is practically on Steve’s lap he’s so close, and looking at him from under his lashes in a seductive way. Steve just looks confused. 

You don’t even notice when Nat comes up behind you and Loki and snaps a photo. 

“Bargaining chip,” she says simply. You break out into laughter, and Nat joins you. 

Loki just smiles, it growing wider and wider each second, at the happy scene that lays before him. 

“I know it’s funny to watch Josh’s new gay crush but kids are already heading over and we have some bad news about the volunteers…” Carroll starts. Panic strikes your chest. 

“What happened with the volunteers?!”

“Apparently, someone snapped a picture of your man candy over there about two hours ago when he was helping set up and now they don’t want to come…” Carroll shakes their head, “honestly. Some people. I think you’re pretty rad though,” they admit to Loki. 

Tears are already springing to your eyes. You’ve been doing this event for almost four years now, before you even started working at the library, and now all these kids won’t be able to have a fun 4th of July because of some small minded people. Well, not small minded. Just scared. 

Loki is trembling. 

“I’m so so so sorry darling, I’ll leave, I’m sorry, I'm sorry, this is all my doing,” he frets. 

“It's not your fault chaton… but now I might have to cancel. It’s not fair,” you reply. Nat gives you a side hug. 

Loki snaps his fingers. Suddenly, there are ten more of him. 

The original, only distinguishable by the fact that he hasn’t moved, grasps your shoulders. 

“I will fix this for you. Just tell me what you need me to do, and it will be done,” he assures you. 

“Maybe make them look different? It might creep out some of the kids,” 

Loki nods and the ten copies become different people, of different genders heights and everything in between. 

You plant a kiss on his cheek. 

“Thank you,” you murmur. 

“I have already told you. I would do anything for your happiness,” he responds dutifully. 

“Ugh, PDA. Get to work Loki-Clones,” Carroll commands. A smug look graces Loki’s features. 

You instruct the clones with which booths they’ll be manning, and turn to the original Loki. 

“Minou… do you want to…” Loki grins, his trickster grin, and shifts into cat form. He jumps into your arms and rubs his head on your arm. 

“So that’s how you know him…” Carroll says awed, easily recognizing the small cat that liked to pick you up from work. 

“Minou, can you sit on my shoulder?” You ask Lokitty. 

“Mew!” He chirps. Lokitty climbs up onto your left shoulder, and you head to the ticket booth. 

You are usually the greeter, sitting in the booth and handing tickets to the kids for games. The people coming in recognize you… and then for some reason their eyes widen in surprise. 

_ What? Oh yeah… wings…  _

You offer a shy wave. One of the adults comes up to you. 

“Kid, what’s happened to you? Are you cursed or something?” 

Lokitty hisses. The adult blinks, surprised yet again. 

“Uh. This is what I really look like. I’ve had them my entire life. I thought no one would accept me with them, so I kept them hidden. If you don’t like them, then you don’t like me,” you are trying to channel Loki’s suave confident energy. 

_ Look at me. I don’t give a shit about what you think of me!  _

_  
That’s a lie.  _

The adult hesitates, and then smiles. 

“You’ve been nothing short of benevolent to us these past years. The kids adore you. I have no reason not to accept you! You look different, but if that’s the only thing that’s changed, I don’t really care about it,” he says. 

You grin, and hand him his tickets. 

“And for some special guests, we have some Avengers here too. Don’t let it get out to all your friends though… this is for the kids after all!” 

The adults eyes widen as he takes in Thor (who’s at the strongman game, which is themed after him ironically, with a fake Mjølnir), Steve (at the water guns and target game), and Natasha (at the inflatable racing game). Josh and Carroll at the snack stands with one Loki clone (a curvy female with auburn hair that is tied into a long braid). The other Loki-Clones are standing at attention in each of their needed places. 

“Hope you enjoy,” you say to the kids who rush past their guardians legs to play games, whilst said guardian is slack jawed. 

Guests come swarming in after that. Lokitty acts as your little protector, keeping the people in line. You get a lot of weird looks and questions, and some people seem to have an issue with it. 

But overall, no one cares. All the kids certainly don’t. And in the end, that’s who you’re doing this all for. People donate money left and right, and then Tony shows up. 

You give him a huge wave and smile, and then gesture towards the carnival happily. Lokitty meows. Tony tries to act nonchalant and snooty, but he is easily overwhelmed with the joyous energy of happy kids. Soon he’s laughing and playing with them as well. 

The day passes quickly, amazing moments left and right. But some things stuck out. 

For one, Thor demonstrating to a little girl how to use the strong arm game. He’d only learned it that same day, but she was so excited that the young girl shoved him out of the way and threw all her might into the swing. 

It ended up hitting Thor in the crotch. Natasha took a picture while hysterically laughing. It was an hilarious scene.

Secondly, when Natasha held a little improv martial arts lesson for some kids. 

“The goal is to defend yourself! Not to attack here,” she educates. A tribe of children, ages five to eleven, listen attentively and repeat the motions. You took a picture of that one. She looked so proud as a tiny kid perfected a dodge. 

The third was definitely the cutest. Loki has been Lokitty for quite a while now, and had taken to frolicking with some kids. They thought he was adorable, and had kept trying to pet him. Of course, Lokitty has stuck his nose in the air and walked away at first. 

Then you  _ may or may not have  _ given them a feathered cat wand. They sicced themselves onto Lokitty, who could not resist. You have several pictures of Lokitty rolling around in the grass swatting at green feathers as children wave the wand around wildly. 

The fourth though… you didn’t take any pictures of that one. The sun had started to set, and families had begun to move out, thanking you. Loki has turned back into Lokitty, claiming that he had to use the lavatory inside the library. When he’d been gone for twenty minutes, you decided to check on him. 

“Mi- oh,” you quiet yourself. Loki is reading a picture book aloud to a small child (his lilting accent on full display), no older than six, who had tear streaks on his face. They’re cuddled up in your corner with all the beanbags. 

“And then Mouse was able to help the Lion out of the net! How incredible is that, young one?” 

The boy sniffled, and curls closer into Loki’s side. You continue watching silently, a smile stretching across your features.

“They helped each other. I wish my Daddy and Brudda would come back and help Mommy,” the boy says. Loki ruffles the kids hair. 

“Ah, young prince, you must help Mommy if you’re the only knight left! Be extra nice to her, hmm?” 

“Okay,” the kid agrees. Your heart melts at all the sweetness. The scene breaks as you hear something from outside. There’s a small commotion outside, a frantic mom calling out her sons name. 

You step inside the room and speak. 

“Alec? I think your Mommy is looking for you. Let me take you to her,” you smile at him, holding out your hand. He wipes his nose on his sleeve and takes your hand. 

After reuniting the mother and son, you return to the inside of the library to find Loki. He’s reshelving the book he’d taken out. 

“I didn’t lead him away from his mother, you know,” he says, not looking at you. 

“I know that, chaton,” 

“He was hiding in here, crying. His father and brother had refused to come back home, despite promising him that they’d be here for the holiday. I couldn’t just leave him here… so I started talking to him, and then we ended up reading…”

You approach Loki and give him a side hug. He wraps an arm around you. 

“He reminds me of myself. So many days, where Allfather would whisk Thor off to some adventure and I’d be at home, alone with Mother, wondering naively why they wouldn’t come home to see me. ‘What made me different?’ I’d ask Mother. This child… he knows the same pain. At first I wanted him to feel it, and then… I remember how horrid it felt,” he whispers. 

“You’re a good person, for reading to that kid,” you assure Loki. 

You make a mental note to tell his mom to bring him for Storytime on Sundays. 

“A… good person?” 

“Yup. You may not like it, but you are,” you affirm playfully. 

“And I’m forcing you to read at Storytime,” you claim.

“It amuses me that you think you’d have to force me to do anything,” he says exasperated. 

You smile at him. Loki rolls his eyes mirthfully. 

“Now, I need you help to clean everything up before the fireworks,”

“Fireworks?”

“You’ll enjoy these. Explosions for funsies,” 

You start to leave, before Loki grabs your arm and spins you back to him. He kisses your temple suavely, and before you have a chance to protest. 

“Thank you, for changing me so that I can be like this,” he whispers. 

“Be like what?” You stutter. 

“A good person,” he responds, “somehow you’ve made me a good person,” 

Loki stares at you intently, like he’s trying to figure something out. You blush and dart swiftly away. 

And now you’re here. The kids who wanted to stay had all sprawled out on blankets on the grass by the riverside to see the fireworks.   


You’d helped them all out and everything looks good. 

You’re about to settle down next to Loki and Nat when a thrilled Josh jumps up and gives you a huge bear hug. 

“We did it! We did it!!” Josh screams. 

“What did we do?” You laugh as he spins you around. 

“We made over a million dollars! Two people donated so much money that we’ll be able to do whatever the library needs! Books! More events for kids! A cafe! Even more books!” 

You cheer happily with Josh’s ideas. It’s so amazing so perfect you can’t… you launch yourself into the sky shooting dozens of feet in the air before spinning around and landing back. 

“That’s spectacular, Josh,” you breathe. 

_ Who could have donated so much money? _

A thought occurs to you. You wave goodbye to Josh and plop down in between Loki and Tony.

“Can you believe that someone donated so much money?” You sigh, leaning your head on Loki’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, a million dollars, that’s a lot of dough kid,” Tony advises. 

_I never said how much money was donated..._

“Thanks for the money, Tony. You too Loki,” 

They’re both saying how it was no problem when they realize their mistake. 

“But-I no… ah you got me kid. I donated, so sue me,” 

You smirk, satisfied with his answer. The you turn to Loki. 

“Why are you looking at me? I did nothing,” he says innocently.  _ Lie.  _

“Loki…” you swoon. 

“W-what?” 

“Loki… did you donate to the library?” 

“Whatever do you mean?”

This isn’t working. Loki is a hard one to crack. So you push up against him, your body stretched onto his side. You pull on his hair gently. 

“Loki, tell the truth,” you say into his ear seductively. 

“I-I yes. Yes I donated, you sultry vixen!” He admits with a cry. 

You pull off Loki, a successful smile on your face. 

Tony looks at you slack jawed. 

“It took us weeks to get him to admit that he’d been stealing food from us! And you just- argh!” Tony exasperates. 

“Well boys, I owe you a thank you,” you smile. They look at you confusedly.

“You are not going to… reprimand us?” Loki questions uneasily. 

“What are you, seven?” Tony snarks at Loki. The god glares back. You shake your head. 

“You two will never change. Either way, Josh will make sure the money is used wisely. You have my gratitude,” you say sweetly. 

You plant a chaste kiss on Loki’s cheek, and the Tony’s. Tony blushes and excuses himself with some lame excuse about teasing Steve about fireworks. 

“You… kiss Tony on the cheek as well?” Loki’s voice says quietly.

“Yeah. You guys are my family now,” you respond. 

“And if I want more than that?” Loki purrs. 

Loki’s fingers start to snake their way around your waist. You inhale sharply. They stop, teasing the skin on your back gently. 

“Is this… fine?” 

“I’m-“ the words get cut off by the sound of a firework being launched. It explodes with a loud boom. It’s loud for normal people. For you, it’s earth shattering. You yelp, and clap your hands over your ears to stop the ringing. 

“Darling! Is the noise too much for you?” 

“My ears are really sensitive… I think I’ll just go inside,” you give in sadly. The only time you’ll ever be able to see fireworks is on the television with the sound muted. A small loss, sure, but one that you wish you didn’t have to have on top of everything else. 

Loki whispers some things, and casts a green hued spell. 

“What was that?” You ask him. 

Loki’s lips move in response, but you hear nothing. 

“What? I can’t hear- oh!” 

A quieting spell. So you can see the fireworks. You embrace Loki tightly, his head immediately nuzzling into the crook of your neck. You can’t hear it, but you feel the purr resonating within his chest. 

“Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!” You cheer. 

He says something, his eyes wide and emotion filled, but you don’t hear it. 

You turn your head to the next firework as it shoots into the sky. 

_ Beautiful.  _ Your hands clasp together as you watch the fireworks in awe. You can feel Loki’s eyes on you. 

“You’re supposed to be watching the fireworks minou, not me,” you laugh. 

He smiles at you, and pulls you into his lap. For a second you’re terrified and want to run. Then he puts his chin on your shoulder and says into your ear:

“You’re beautiful. So so so beautiful. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you,” 

You don’t think that he knows that you could hear him. But, it makes you relax, oddly enough. 

The fireworks continue, and you watch them soar and sparkle as Loki holds you. 

You can decide what’s more enchanting. The fireworks, or the man. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions Comments Concerns!
> 
> And any new weapon ideas! 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	13. 2-5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you remedy a few issues, and defend yourself as an Avenger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What’s this? What’s this? 
> 
> A chapter a day early?

**July 18th, Day I’m Not Really Sure**

You sighed contently as you look at the pictures Nat has sent you from the 4th. Tony has gotten you a phone, and now you had all the memories from that day. Apparently someone had snapped photos of you curled up in Loki’s arms, asleep.   


The first was him looking at you with such sweet emotion that it wrenched your heart. The second never ceased to make you laugh, as Loki notices someone is staring at you and him and Loki snarls at the perpetrators. 

Clint’s still at his safe house with his family, crime having been down recently. You miss his presence, but happy that he’s where he wants to be. 

“Kid? Pepper’s here to go over the last few details for tomorrow,” Tony’s voice calls out as he knocks on your door.  _ Ah yes. The formal induction to the Avengers. Tomorrow.  _

“You can come in!” You chirp. Tony holds the door ajar for Pepper and several other people who run in with a dress rack and numerous other things. The people are waved away by Pepper almost as soon as they set up. 

“So, guess who has your battle suit!!” Pepper says excitedly as she embraces you. 

“What??” You scream. She whips out a hanger. 

On it, is the outfit you’ll wear to missions as an Avenger. It is similar to Black Widows, but has a low exposed back so that your wings can be free. The leggings have mesh in them so that you won’t overheat, and it zips up just right to be the perfect streamlined outfit for flying. It appears that the neckline would circle your throat. It has deep pockets and a belt with compartments. 

“Wanna try it on?” Pepper asks. 

“Do I!” You squeal. Running to the bathroom, you throw on the outfit. It fits like a glove. 

You model it for Pepper, spinning a few times. She claps politely. 

“Tap the neckpiece twice,” she instructs. You do as she says, and a mask appears around your face. It’s clear so you can see through it.

“Tony fashioned it so that you can fly down fast, without hurting your eyes,” 

“This is perfect! I’m so excited to help people!” 

“Hey, what’s that you’re wearing?” Pepper asks when she sees the necklace Loki’d given you. 

“A gift from Loki. It’s going to keep me safe,” you sigh. 

“Has he given you a lot of gifts?”

“Now that I think about it.. yeah,” you ponder. Just yesterday he’d given you a bracelet that he claimed was the colour of your eyes. A few days before that, he’d kissed your knuckles in the signature Loki way and when he lifted his head, a ring that had a tree on it was on your finger. 

Your eyes widen as you realize the truth. 

_ So he’s spoiling me? I don’t want a sugar daddy. Oh goodness.  _

“I need to go talk with Loki,” you decide. Pepper shrugs. 

“Lets go over a few more things for tomorrow, and then I’ll let you go,” 

~~~~~

Pepper tells you the plan, and after she’s sure that you’re good with it, she lets you go. 

You decided to start where Loki can usually be found in the tower: the library. 

To your surprise, you don’t find the dark haired Asgardian in the study… rather his blond brother. 

“Thor? What are you doing here?”

He fumbles and drops the book he was apparently holding. 

“Oh! Dear lady, you have startled me!” 

“Sorry Thor, I was just looking for-“

“Loki, yes. I assumed so. He is meditating for the mission we are embarking on,” 

“There’s a mission today? This is the first I’ve heard of it,”

Thor hums. 

“Yes, a recent battle has caused a sort of magical unrest it appears. Either way, should I relay your message?” 

“Actually,” you say thoughtfully, “you might be able to help me,” 

Thor lights up, and gestures for you to sit on a chair. You do, and he sits beside you in its twin. 

“What may I help you with, fair maiden?” 

You smile at his words, before remembering what you had to ask.

“Well, Loki’s been… giving me little gifts? Expensive gifts. I don’t know how to say no, and they’re really building up. Do you know what he’s doing?” 

You’re completely serious, looking at your hands. Thor snorts and then breaks into laughter. He almost falls out of the chair. 

_ What did I say?  _ Thor wipes a tear from his eye. 

“Loki is courting you! On Asgard, to wear the gifts a male has gifted you is a sign that you are favoring a suitor. He has been, how do you say it on Midgard… attempting to ‘date’ you,” 

_ Oh.  _

_ Well.  _

“Oh. Well,” you manage dumbly.  _ The little serpent knew what he was doing!  _

Thor looks at you curiously. 

“Do you accept his advances?” 

“No? Yes? I don’t really know yet. It has been really confusing, Thor. I haven’t said yes to anything but I haven’t said no either…”

“Do you like my brother?” 

“I’m not sure,” you say honestly.   
  
_ He was my best friend as a cat, and now he’s a gorgeous guy who pines after me. He’s sort of violent, but kind. He can be diabolical, but he’s also so fun and sweet.  _

“Hmm,” Thor contemplates. 

“I cannot say much more than this,” he continues, “you have made my brother happier than I’ve seen him in thousands of years. He has found more companionship in you than anyone I’ve ever seen. He was in a very dark place but you were able to heal the fractures. I am forever in your debt for that,” Thor solemnly says. 

“You know, your brother calls you an oaf, but you are quite insightful,” you comment. 

Thor winks at you. 

“Someone once said that people are capable of great change, no matter what they are told to be,” 

You gasp a bit. The same thing you’d said to Jarvis all those days ago. 

“How do you know that?” 

“The computer man told me,” Thor grins, “when I asked about you,” 

You make a mental note to talk to Jarvis about privacy. 

Over the loudspeakers, you hear Steve’s voice calling ‘Avengers, Assemble!’ 

Thor holds out his hand, and Mjølnir flies to it. With a wave to you, he runs out the door to join the team. 

You sigh, thinking about how soon you’ll be able to come with them, and pick up the book Thor was reading. 

_ What does a Asgardian hero have to do with Twilight?  _

**July 18th - Loki**

_ This is too easy.  _

The fighting itself was simplistic, his knives slicing through the beasts easily. The combination of seiðr and Asgardian steel was deadly, as the enemies soon found. 

The fighters were strong, especially with the otherworldly magic they had running through their veins. 

It was not his expertise, the magic that they possessed. It simply seemed to accentuate their strength and speed, nothing more. 

He finishes off another one, putting him down as he slits his throat. 

A portal opens to Loki’s side.

_ Knew it was too easy.  _

A triumphant cheer from a man still alive, one that is immediately silenced. 

“Got any idea what’s gonna come out of that thing Reindeer Games?”

“None,” he responds. Something about that causes a great thrill. A small tricksters grin appears on Loki’s face as he brandished his knives once more. 

A lumbering form comes through the portal. And another, and another, and at least a dozen more. 

_ Mindless ones!  _

Loki has summoned one before to attack Thor on a special occasion. They needed to have a master... must have been the villain who’d summoned them, with orders to kill the Avengers. They had laser beam eyes, and were very strong. Even Thor had trouble defeating a single one. 

“Come on Avengers, we can handle this!” America says through the blasted earpiece. 

They fight and fight. The Avengers are slowly getting tired, and the Mindless Ones refuse to die, only a small portion of them lying on the ground. 

Loki breathes out slowly. 

_ Of course I have to do this.  _

He calls forth his formidable seiðr, and feels himself rise off the ground. Loki whispers spells under his breath, and acknowledges his eyes turning greener. 

With an immense blast of magic, Loki disintegrates all of the Mindless Ones. They turn to ash, holding their form for a moment before scattering in the breeze. Loki falls to the ground and tries to calm himself.

“Wow Rock of Ages, heavy stuff!” 

“Valiant moves brother! Good show!” 

“No more smash?” 

“Uh, guys?” Stark says worriedly. 

They all huddle together. Stark removes the portion of his helmet that covers his face. His expression isn’t one of successful gloat, but guilty nerves. 

Fear washes over Loki in waves, though he does not let it show. 

“I have some bad news… apparently the magic had been blocking my signal and I’m only learning this just now but,” 

“Spit it out,” Loki hisses. 

“The same monsters that showed here came through a similar portal directly into the tower and-“

“She’s still there,” Loki realizes. The air crackles with energy around Loki as his anger rises. 

“She is still there. She is still there, without protection, because your second rate faulty machinery has failed!!” Loki screams. His knives appear in his twitching hands. He is about to stab the infernal Stark when Thor gets in his way. 

“Brother, while you are killing Stark, your lady will be under attack as well,” he says. Loki’s heart thuds wildly. 

_ Darling. Need to protect my darling.  _

Loki casts one last death glare at Stark (who gulps) before he teleports away. 

He’s already used quite a lot of seiðr today and teleporting such long distance is unwise even with a lot of seiðr, but he cannot risk  _ his lady  _ getting hurt because  _ Loki couldn’t be there _ . 

He’d promised to protect her. He has to protect her. 

Loki makes it to the tower. It looks fine on the outside. He can only imagine how horrible the scene inside could be. 

Loki senses her, the necklace he’d given her. He teleports directly to her, panting from the effort. 

As soon as he gets there, he feels a laser aimed towards him. Grasping her body blindly, he throws both of them out of the way. 

There are at least ten Mindless Ones lumbering after her. She yells for the computerized man to block them off, and a large reinforced metal door slams down to protect them. 

Loki squeezes her tightly. Her beautiful arms wrap around his neck. 

“Loki, Loki there's monsters after me… I-I don’t know what’s going on,” she cries into his neck. She’s not scared though, the brave thing she is, but confused and nervous. 

She pulls back, putting her delicate hands on the sides of his face. 

“Are _you_ okay?”   


Loki leans into her soft touch. 

“Yes, darling. I am fine. We need to get out of here… at least until the others arrive,” 

Loki attempts to scrape together what is left of his magic to teleport them out of there. He had strained himself too much. There is barely anything left. 

Perhaps once, when he practiced his magic and he was back on Asgard where he derived his power from he could ward off the Mindless or teleport them far far away. 

“You don’t have anything left,” she notes astutely. 

“No, I have to… I have to,” Loki says. He is trying to convince her, and himself. 

Her eyes light up, in the terribly endearing way that happens when she has an idea. 

“I’m going to fly us out of here,” she claims. They both cringe when the door dents under a heavy blow from one of the Mindless Ones. 

She drags him into one of the nearby rooms. 

“Jarvis, do these windows open?”

“They do not. Blockade 27-C is under heavy fire. It has approximately 5 minutes and counting left, to my calculations,” the computerized voice replies. 

“Chaton, I have a plan. I need you to be easier to hold,” 

Loki nods, and shifts into the feline form. He takes note of the joy that lights in her eyes at the sight of the cat form that she holds so dear.

_ Will I ever get that look in my true form? Any of them?  _

“In my arms. I need you to hold on tight,” she instructs. Loki leaps into her outstretched arms, and latches onto her shirt. 

He feels her heart beating rapidly, adrenaline flowing through her blood. 

“Here we go mon minou,” she whispers. 

Then, like a madwoman, she runs into the glass headfirst. Loki meows in protest. 

_ She’s completely lost it.  _

He then notices the cracks in the window. Her brilliant plan becomes clear.

_ Ah yes. The horns. She’s cracking the window so she can fly out of it.  _

She rams the window again and again. 

“Miss, five minutes!” The computer warns. 

She grunts, and rams into the window extremely hard. It hurts Loki nestled in her arms. He can only imagine how much it hurts  _ her.  _

The window shatters, all at once. Glass shards fall onto the sidewalk below.

“Sorry!” She calls out. 

Loki meows to remind her of the danger imminent. 

“I know minou!” She says. 

She darts back to get a running start to fly. 

“Miss, you must leave now!” The robotic voice tells her. 

She snaps her wings out as she runs outside the Tower, through her makeshift door. 

“Hold on, chaton,” she grits out as she flaps her wings. 

She suddenly whirls around, spinning like a top, diving downwards.

Loki starts to scream inside. 

A portal, golden hued, appears in front of her. A portal that she created for her to fly though. 

~~~~~

They’re tossed onto grass, hundreds of miles from New York. Her arms are no longer holding Loki tightly, rather loosely embracing him. 

Loki meows loudly, turning her over with no small difficulty so he can see her face. She is seemingly sleeping, eyes fluttering closed. Loki licks her nose. 

_ We are safe now darling! Wake up!  _

Her eyes do not open. 

Loki’s little cat heart explodes with horror and fear. 

_ Wake up wake up wake up  _

He butts his head against her face, trying desperately to transform back into his human form so that he could see if he could help her. Loki’s seiðr is all but gone. There’s not enough to even shift. 

“What’s this? Kid??” A voice asks.  _ The arrowsmith, Barton.  _

Loki turns to the intruder, hissing. 

He jumps on her chest to protect her. It is a small gift that her chest rises and falls underneath him. 

_ Mine. Mine to protect. She’s mine.  _

“Loki? Is that you?” 

Loki scoffs and swats at him.

“Yup, it’s you. She’s probably just tired. How much magic did she use to get here?”

_ Too much. She overextended herself. Because I wasn’t there for her. I disgust even myself.  _

“Let me bring her inside. I’ll take care of her,” Barton says. 

Loki meows pitifully as he is forcibly pushed off her body. 

Barton heaves her into his arms, the wings drooping weakly. Loki weaves between Barton’s legs as he carries her into their  _ modest  _ at best home. 

“Lokitty, if you keep doing that I’m going to drop her,” Barton grunts. Loki yowls at him.

_ When I get out of this predicament you will feel the wrath of a God.  _

Barton is able to get her all the way up to a guest room. Loki trails behind him worriedly. 

“Clint, what are you doing?” A pretty woman asks Barton, a hand resting on his shoulder. 

“Laura, meet the new kid on the block. And Lokitty,” Barton says, strain evident in his tone as he lifts her into the guest bed. Loki jumps up onto the bed next to her, and tucks her in by holding the blankets between his teeth. 

She curls up under the covers, her only real sign of life.   


Loki nuzzles her head and neck, rubbing himself all over her before inserting himself in his spot that he’d slept in so many times before on her chest. 

Loki whines into her body. 

_ Please be okay darling.  _

_ I love you.  _

_ So much…  _

Loki closes his eyes, and is crying in his cat way long after he’s fallen asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns! And any more weapon ideas! 
> 
> Thank you all so much, for your kudos and kind words. It means a lot!


	14. 2-5.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you meet Hawkeyes best kept secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a little bonus chapter (the second part of 2-5).
> 
> This week is going incredibly slowly and time management is pretty freaking hard. So here’s a chapter to make up for a messy week, if any of you are having one of those too. 
> 
> -Lehuka

**July 18th - You**

You open your eyes blearily. 

“You woke her up!” A young boy berates a younger girl at your side. 

Before moving, you take in your surroundings. Bed, window, old wood floors. It has a cozy homey feel that must be infused with the wood scent. 

_ I did it! I directed a portal to Clints!  _

You had understood the risks of portalling after so much magic use… you’re sure that when Loki gets to you, he’ll yell at you for it. 

Speaking of, where is…  _ oh.  _

Loki is lying beside you, in human form,  _ in bed with you _ . Your brain goes haywire for a minute. Loki whimpers softly in his sleep and snuggles closer to you, securing his arm over your body. 

It’s actually quite nice. Safe. 

“Shut it Cooper!” The girl snarls. 

“Hello,” you say politely. The children, a little girl and a slightly older boy, turn to you. 

“Hi,” they say back. 

“Is your dad Clint?” 

“Yup!” The girl says.

“Your father’s very nice. You two are quite lucky!”

“Yeah, we know. Do you have wings? Really?” The boy says, eyes wide with wonder. 

You shake your right wing at them, it being the only one not weighed down by Loki’s weight. 

“Speaks for itself, doesn’t it?” You respond, “want to go for a flight later?”

“Oh my goodness yes pleaaase!” The girl begs.

Loki shifts beside you. You wink at them and place a finger on your lips.

“Later,” you tell them. They wave goodbye and tiptoe out of the room. 

You sigh, and run your fingers through Loki’s hair. He pushes into your hand, purring in pleasure. 

A very self confident and possessive part of your brain pipes up with:  _ who but you can elicit these noises from him? He’s completely docile under your hands.  _

You shut out the voice.  _ Not the time.  _

Loki murmurs your name and pulls you in closer. His arms are around your stomach and supporting your neck, and his face nuzzles your collarbone. 

“Mine, mine, mine,” you hear him whisper in his sleep. Not going to lie: it does something to you. Without the seductive elegant tones that usually underlay his words, the words are rather gooey and soft ( _ loving _ ). 

“Mon minou? Are you awake?” You whisper whilst petting his head. He purrs some more. 

“If I acknowledge you, will you cease?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Then no,” he says happily. Loki snuggles closer to you, his warm breath tickling your skin in a delightful way. 

You push him off a little. 

His eyes open sleepily, and he blinks a few times. Loki’s eyes widen. His gaze runs down your body frantically. 

“Are you alright? Were you hurt? Darling, I-“ 

“I’m perfectly fine Loki. Everything’s okay,” you assure him, caressing his cheek with a hand to soothe him. 

“I cannot express my own distaste for myself,” he spits out viciously. 

“No, why would you say that?”

“I-I couldn’t protect you. I wasn’t there,” Loki grits out, “if they weren’t all dead already I would have killed them again,” 

“Loki, I’m fine…” 

“I know that, but what if you weren’t? What if someone like the  _ vile waste of skin _ Harrison had come and marred you irrevocably? I-I can’t…” Loki squeaks. The suave, bored mask he wears around the others is shattered: he is fragile.  _ Just as fragile as me.  _

You embrace Loki, and rub his back. 

“You’re the only one who matters to me… I cannot bear to lose you after having just found you,” he admits shakily into your shoulder. 

“You’re not going to lose me anytime soon chaton,” you assure him. 

He rubs up against your body, and inhales your scent. A hand comes to brush your hair back. Loki lifts his head to meet your gaze. 

‘Can I go forward?’ It seems to say. 

You think you want this, you really do… but your heart is beating so fast and nerves are firing and you spook out of the bed. 

“I should go tell Clint that I’m in good shape,” you say quickly.

Loki watches you, defeated, as you sprint from the room. You feel his sad, longing eyes follow you as you dash away. 

_ I’m sorry, beautiful man.  _

You close the door behind you. Something urges you to place your ear to the door. 

Never one to doubt your pretty grade A instincts, you listen in what is going on inside, resting your horns on the wooden door. 

A crash as something falls to the ground. 

“She will never love you, you disgraceful bastard!” Loki screams. 

You recognize that he’s probably shielded the room so that no one outside of it can hear it, and that makes it all the more painful. The noise wrenches your heart. 

“I have attempted everything. Suave gestures, kindness. I’ve given her the time she’s asked for! I’ve been giving her courting gifts… I am unsure of what to do anymore. Mother, please. Love is your domain. Tell me what I should do,” he vents. Another crash, then quiet. 

“What is this feeling? How can a mortal, a Fae, make me feel this strange emotion?” Loki questions. 

“And more so, will she ever feel the same?” He adds quietly. 

_ I think I can imagine that.  _

You feel  _ something _ for Loki. When you think about him reading to that kid, when he’d purr for you, when he’d touch you with delicate hands.   


It’s more than companionship.

You realize that now. 

Startled with this revelation, you escape to the lower floor to find Clint, attempting to ignore the frantic beating of your heart. 

Clint is sitting next to a brown haired woman at the kitchen table. He lights up when he sees you. 

“Hey! I let Tony know you were here, but how are you? You okay?” He showers you with worried questions while he gives you a hug. 

“I’m fine, just over extended myself. Some bad guys got into the tower and no one was home,” you explain. Clint smiles from ear to ear. You look at him curiously, and then realize what you did. 

_ Huh. I called it home, didn’t I?  _

“I’m glad we’ve made it a home for you,” Clint declares, “and I should introduce you to my lovely wife, Laura,”

The woman gets up and smiles at you kindly. You wave shyly. She chuckles, and pulls you in for a hug. 

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” she says. 

“And I you,” you respond. 

“I’ve got barbecue prepared for dinner. We have plenty. Would you like to eat with us?”

You smile. 

“I’d love that, but first I promised some kids that I would fly them around. I wonder where they could be…” 

A chorus of giggles erupts from the staircase. 

“Hm, I wonder,” Clint laughs. 

“I guess I’ll just fly around alone, no one to carry…” you sigh, taking exaggerated steps to the front door. Lila and Cooper tackle you from behind, and you tumble into the ground laughing wildly. 

“So, who's going first?” Laura asks smartly. 

“Me,” they both say at the same time. 

_ Oh boy.  _

~~~~~

Half an hour, one minor tantrum, and many calming words later, you had a very excited Lila in your arms in the rolling fields outside the house.

“Ready?” 

“Ready steady,” she replies. 

“Here… we… go!” 

You take a deep breath and a running start and then you’re airborne. Lila whoops in your arms. She certainly weighs more than a certain aloof cat, but you are in pretty good shape and can hold her well. 

You soar upwards, flapping your wings to go higher and higher. The low hanging clouds part for you and Lila, and she gasps at the blue sky that stretches for miles, uninterrupted by clouds. 

You let Lila drift her fingers through the clouds dreamily, and let the amazement sink in while you drift. 

“It’s so beautiful… I want wings,” Lila pouts. 

“This part is nice, but people can be mean when someone’s different,” you remind her.

Her wide child eyes turn to you. 

“Were people bullying you because you have wings and horns? That’s not nice. We’re not supposed to bully,” 

“Yes. For a very long time. But now, with your Daddy and Mommy and all of their friends, I can forget about all of those bullies,” you add. 

“So you’re happy now?” 

“I’m very happy. Do you want to go fast when we go back to Daddy and Mommy and Cooper?” 

“YES!” She shrieks.

“As you wish,” you wink, and you flip to zoom down headfirst (holding Lila quite tightly). Her delighted screams are stolen by the whipping winds, alongside your confident whoops. 

The ground comes up quickly, and your horns are mere inches from making landing when you snap open your wings and glide forwards to land feet first. A quick glance at Lila sees her red faced but delighted. She grabs onto your arm.

“Again, again, again!” Lila squeals. 

“It’s your brothers’ turn now,” you remind her. 

She pouts, and hops out of your arms sullenly. 

“Fine,” she says. It’s comical, and you try to hide your snickers at her frustrated demeanor.

Cooper runs up to you holding his arms up excitedly. 

You flex your biceps before picking Cooper up, and shooting into the sky. 

~~~~~

When you land, an exhilarated Cooper in your arms, Laura’s already cooking on the outdoor BBQ. The smell of hot dogs and hamburgers, something you’ve inhaled so much in the park but have never been able to actually eat, is intoxicating. 

“Smells amazing, honey,” Clint remarks as he kisses Laura’s cheek. She laughs a little, and kisses him back. 

Longing slaps you in the face cruelly.  _ When can I have that?  _

_ Never,  _ a voice whispers. You look to the doorway curiously, and watch as Loki’s dark form rests on the doorframe.  _ He would give me that...if I asked. _

“Hey, Miss, you wanna play tag?” 

Cooper’s voice tears you from your thoughts. A startled smile appears on your features. 

“I’d love to!” 

Cooper smirks and smacks your arm. 

“You’re it!!” He screams. You laugh, and speed after him and Lila. You grin as you flip around back towards the house.

You approach Loki. His eyebrow raises curiously, all unhinged energy from earlier gone.

“What are you doing?” 

“This,” you say, and boop his nose. 

“You’re it!!” You squeal, running away from him laughing. 

Loki seems to understand this game, and dashes after you. He’s just as fast, long swift strides closing the space between you quickly. 

You flap your wings and take off into the air. 

“Hey, not fair!” Lila cries out. You giggle. 

“It would be a shame if I didn’t use my abilities to my advantage,” you shoot off.

“Well, in that case,” Loki starts. He shifts into a large raven, flies up to you, and shifts back. He boops your nose, transforms back, and lands on the ground, all in the span of a few seconds. 

“You are it,” he says simply. 

Cooper and Lila cheer. You smile, and set to flying after Cooper.

~~~~~

After several games of tag and loads of BBQ, it’s time to go back home. 

“Can I come with you guys?” Clint asks. You nod, rubbing your hands together nervously. Loki touches your back, and whispers in your ear. 

“Do you have enough power to make it back to the City?” 

“I-I think so?” 

He rubs your back in relaxing circles. 

“I will loan you some of my seiðr, if you require it,” 

“Really? You can do that?” 

“I can do a great many things darling. I am a god,” Loki reminds you. 

You turn to him, and investigate his features. 

“What makes a god, truly?” 

Loki’s eyebrows knit confusedly. 

“We are immortal,” 

“A lot of creatures are immortal, but they’re not gods,” you rebut.

“We’ve created the universe!!” 

“Well, the universe was already here, you just put stuff in it. Does that mean inventors are gods too?” 

Loki squeezes his temples. 

“You are making me doubt everything,” he groans. 

“I’m sorry. For… for everything,” you say suddenly. Loki’s lighthearted demeanor dissipates, and he becomes much more serious. 

“You have nothing to apologize for. I am the one who should be apologetic for pushing you. I am blessed by the Norns to be able to have companionship with you. I will live if you never want me in that fashion,” he pushes. 

“Minou, I…” you’re about to confess something important when Clint barges in. 

“So we going or what? It’s already dark,” he says loudly. 

Loki growls at him. 

“Oh, did I interrupt something?” Clint innocently asks. 

You blush, and wave it off. 

“Let’s get going,” you say goodnaturedly. 

Focusing, you try and create a portal. After a minute of trying, you puff out a breath of air frustratedly. 

“Kid, can you handle this?” 

“Yes! Yes, I can do it. It’s just… I’ve never done it on the ground and so soon after the last one…” 

“It’s okay if you can’t,” Clint assures you. 

“No, I can do it! I have to pull my weight here!!” You yell. 

Clint and Loki look taken aback. The silence is overwhelming. 

You look away, embarrassed, and breathe deeply in an attempt to try again. 

_ You can do this. You can do this.  _

You feel Loki’s cool hands slide their way onto your back. You feel a spark at the contact, and then an influx of power.

“Minou, I can’t-“ 

“Take it. What’s mine is yours,” Loki murmurs in your ear. 

Shuddering with the amount of new magic flooding through you, you easily expel it to make a portal. It’s the largest one you’ve ever made, and can just barely get the three of you through it. 

You grab onto Clint and Loki’s hands and pull them inside.

You shiver at the strange feeling of the portal, like walking through a doorway of gelatin. 

“This is very very strange,” Clint remarks.

You grit your teeth as you focus on where you want to land, and the three of you land in a heap in the living room, right in front of Natasha and Steve playing Mario Kart. 

“OH MY GOODNESS!” Steve screams. You blearily give him a thumbs up. Exhaustion gathers at the edges of your vision.

Loki seems tired too, but he helps you get up nonetheless. 

Clint is oblivious, gushing about magic portals to Nat and Steve. You pat Loki’s shoulder in thanks, and ignore his worried look.

“Do you require assistance?” 

“No, I’m fine, I’m fine,” you repeat, a blatant lie, and his eyes narrow. Loki is about to say something when Tony comes up behind him and starts talking to him.

You sneak off to your room, barely making it inside before your legs give out. For a few minutes you breathe unevenly by the door, your wings drooping sadly. 

Too much magic, too soon. Portals are hard to do with your magic  _ not  _ already depleted. 

As if you weren’t already beating yourself up about it, Loki teleports directly into your room.

“ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF?” Loki roars. He runs a hand through his hair, the easy motion filled with rage.

“No,” you groan.

“I don’t know when you got it in that head of yours that you MUST push yourself to the absolute edge of life but it stops NOW,” 

“Well,” you start bitterly, pushing yourself up with one hand, “if I stop pushing myself then you have to stop throwing yourself away to protect me!” 

“I do no such thing!” 

“YOU LIE! You had just as much magic or seiðr or whatever that I did yet you gave me all of it! “ 

“SO WHAT THEN? WHAT IF I DO THAT?” 

“STOP IT!” 

“I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU!” Loki screams. It goes deadly quiet. You suddenly realize how close you’ve gotten, inches away from Loki’s face. 

You had a insult on your tongue, but it disappears when you take in Loki’s expression. 

“I-I don’t want to lose you,” he repeats.   


The anger is gone, in its stead is weary sadness. 

“I don’t want to lose you either minou,” you say tiredly. If you both weren’t dead tired than perhaps you would have kissed him. 

“I’m done arguing, we’ve got a big day ahead of us tomorrow… and I’m very very tired,” you lament. You ruffle his hair affectionately, all you can muster, and grab a pair of pajamas from the armoire. 

“Goodnight darling. Sweet dreams,” Loki says as he teleports, assumably to his own quarters. 

After going through your nightly routine and switching off the lights, exhaustion lacing every movement, you crawl into bed. 

“Miss, if I may-“ 

“Jarvis, I’m too tired to talk,” you groan.

“I know. I was going to ask if you wanted to hear your music to fall asleep,” he says kindly. 

You smile blearily at the darkness. 

“I would love that. Thanks,” 

With the music filling the room, you’re asleep before the second chorus. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, as always, questions comments concerns! 
> 
> Or weapon ideas! I’ve gotten such great ones so far!


	15. 2-6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you truly gain the name ‘Avenger’.

**July 19th - Day of the Induction into the Avengers**

Unlike your normal calm awakening by Jarvis, you wake up to Peppers voice loudly telling you to. 

“WE HAVE TO GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD! SO MUCH TO DO!” She yells. 

People bustle in as you groggily wipe your eyes. Pepper shakes your shoulder, and then instructs the assembled people to throw you into a bath. 

“Wha?” Is all you are able to get out before two women lift you into the bath. It’s a furious onslaught of scrubbing and bubbles that lasts no longer than five minutes. 

You’re thrown rather harshly into a soft towel, and you fumble to hide yourself with it before being tossed out yet again into your own bedroom. 

“Let’s get you into that uniform!” Pepper claps, and people surround you yet again, pushing you into the battle attire Pepper's introduced you to before. 

“You know, I can really do this myself,” you say over the bustle of the people. 

“Mhm, not as fast as they can,” Pepper replies.

_Hm. True._

Before you know it, you’re clad in the outfit and being sat down for hair and makeup. 

You’ve never been one for it, as it’s an unnecessary expense, and the experience is strange. People handling your hair, putting product in it, people adding powders and creams to your face. 

Surprisingly, the makeup and hair take longer than the bath. Or unsurprisingly. You wouldn’t really know either way. The people work around the horns, creating a hair style with braids in the front, connecting to the back in a ponytail. It’s much much much more than your usual down or weak ponytail. 

“Done,” Pepper breathes. She holds up a small mirror. 

“You look beautiful,” she whispers. You don’t recognize the woman in the mirror for a second. Now she… she looks angelic. 

_Like an Avenger._ You grin wide. 

“This is so incredible! Thank you Pepper! Thank you everyone!” You cry out happily. The staff blush and wave it off. You wonder idly if Tony or whoever they usually treat thanks them. 

“The public is going to love you,” Pepper cheers. 

_The public…_

“How many people are going to be there?” You ask tentatively.

“Oh, hundreds. Tony wanted this to be a huge announcement,” Pepper waves off. You offer her a nervous smile. Inside though, you’re completely frazzled. _Hundreds??_

You had trouble with the _Avengers,_ and that was all of what, five people? Pepper notices your inner struggle, and places a hand on your shoulder.

“Don’t worry. We’ll all be there ... the rest of the Avengers are directly flanking you,” she reassures you. 

“Now,” Pepper continues, “let’s take a look at that dress for the party later,” 

You perk up curiously. It’s like a little girly girly part of you you don’t know that you had has awakened at _Dress? Party?_

“There’s a party?” 

Peppers eyes glimmer.

“Surprise! It’s to celebrate you becoming part of the team. Only us and some other people that we know,” she explains while picking up a dress hanger.

She unzips it, and the dress inside takes your breath away.

It’s a beautiful spring green, reminiscent of gardens and morning dew on grass. The dress cuts low in the back so there’s room for your wings, and is past knee length. There’s small flowers on a part of it, which are mostly gold with black accents. It is a dress for a goddess of spring. 

Pepper looks terribly confused. 

“This isn’t the dress I ordered! What happened to it?” She asks of the staff.

“This is the one that came,” someone says. 

“We didn’t open it when it showed up,” another person piped up.

“Don’t worry, I’ll get the company on the phone and we can have it here super fast,” Pepper says.

“No! No. I love it,” you whisper. Pepper shrugs and guides you towards the door, a ‘time to go’ left unspoken. You plant your feet into the carpet.

_I have to go out already? I’m not ready!_

“You can do this,” Pepper insists at your worried, mildly terrified expression. 

“I can do this,” you repeat. 

“Go get ‘em,” she grins, and sends you off. 

Your confidence lasts till the living room. All the Avengers wait there, decked in their costumes. Bruce is in full Hulk form, which is unnerving. Hulk blinks at you, until Nat whispers in his ear. 

The Avengers smile at you, and you offer a small wave in return. 

“Nervous kiddo?” Tony asks. He practically oozes charisma, his familiarity with the press not unknown. 

“Yeah,” you whisper. You shift uneasily from foot to foot. 

“Well, if it’s any consolation, you look fantastic,” Nat adds. 

“Mhm,” is your only acknowledgement. 

Loki teleports in front of you and brushes a stray hair aside. 

“Do not be afraid dearest,” he murmurs. You hum nervously, rocking on your heels.

“Lady, I will not allow any ruffians to do anything to you!” Thor announces. 

“Hulk smash!” Hulk helpfully points out. 

Loki snorts at them, and then turns back to you. He searches your face intently.

“I will stay by your side the duration of the ceremony,” he announces.

“I can’t ask you to do that,” 

Loki grins.

“You didn’t ask. I volunteered,” 

You return his smile, and take his outstretched hand. You let out a sigh you didn’t know you were holding. The Avengers start to exit the building, sounds of cheers and clicks of the press’s cameras floating through the room. 

“Let’s go meet the common folk, shall we?” Loki purrs. 

“I’m ready,” you assert firmly. You wrap your hand around Loki’s cool one, and he leads you outside. 

The second you step out into the masses of photographers and reporters, the flashes start going off.

 _‘NOT READY!’_ You scream internally. 

Loki squeezes your hand, and easy assurance, and you make a small wave to all the people. 

The rest of the Avengers lead you to a podium, where if Peppers instructions are to be believed, Tony will introduce you to the crowd and all you have to do is stand there and look happy. 

It’s becoming increasingly hard to look not-terrified. Loki is wearing his usual bored mask, his aloof gaze lazily drifting through the audience. To his credit, he continues grasping your hand. 

If not for that hand, you feel as if you might drown in the sea of eyes and cameras and microphones that swarm you. 

You can barely hear Tony’s speech, his nice words and his probable overestimations of your abilities, over your terror. Your wings start curving inwards to hide you. 

“Loki,” you whisper. Loki glances down at you, bemused. 

“You stared down Mindless Ones but you cannot handle mortal reporters?” He smirks. 

His rude tone prickles at you and you glare at him. 

“I know what you’re doing,” you grumble. 

“Hmm, and what is that?”

“You’re trying to rile me up so I’m not scared,” 

“Is it working?” 

“Yes,” you huff annoyedly. 

“And now, here’s…” Tony announces, then pauses.

“What’s your superperson alias?” Tony asks quietly, a hand hiding his mouth from the crowd. 

“Fae,” you say confidently, stepping forward so people can have a good look at you. You breathe deeply and encourage yourself. _They’re not going to be scared. They’ll accept me._

“You can call me Fae,” you ensure, flaring your wings a bit. 

The crowd erupts in cheers, and you offer a shy wave and smile. The rest of the Avengers whoop and clap behind you, and you’ve never felt happier. 

~~~~~

Thor gives you a bone crushing hug the moment you get inside, tearing you from Loki’s grasp. 

“I am so proud of you!” He booms. You make a small choking sound, and pat his huge shoulders. 

“Lay off Thor,” Nat says, faking annoyance. 

“I think this deserves a drink!” Tony whoops. 

“Hold it Tony, you can drink at the party,” Steve reasons. He glances towards you, a question forming.

“You excited for tonight, Fae?” 

Steve uses your newfound alias, and the sound of it causes excited shivers down your back.

“Ready as I’ll ever be. This is my… first party,” you admit. 

“You have never attended a ball?” Loki guffaws. Tony slaps his face. 

Your heart sinks sorrowfully. 

“I-I was never invited to any. I never had any real friends after I went into Middle School. Anything I had… I’m beginning to realize that I probably used my powers to influence it,” you whisper, investigating the intricate lines on your palms. 

The room goes deadly silent. Tears spark at the edges of your eyes. 

You gasp a little at the sudden sensation of Loki’s arms wrapped around your body. He squeezes your body, the embrace comforting. Thor and Clint follow his lead, hugging you tightly.

Steve, Nat, and Bruce (Hulk went away when you started crying) all join. Tony is pushed by Nat. 

It’s a big group hug of Avengers around you. 

_It’s a big group hug with my family._

You start to smile, then laugh.

“Thank you guys. That-that was before. Now I have you guys,” you laugh.

They separate, happier that you’re happier. 

“Now let’s get ready for the party! If it’s my first, it’s gotta set the bar high!” You cheer. 

They cheer in response. Some of your fellow Avengers still have pity in their eyes, but they see your obvious joy at the current events and leave it alone.

Except Loki, of course.

“Are you okay?” He murmurs. 

“I am now, minou,” you chirp.

He brushes your hair behind your ear, and looks deeply into your eyes. 

“Are you certain?” 

“Yes,” 

Loki hums, and touches your horns. 

“Did you truly influence others for friendship?” He asks.

“I’ve been looking back at it, and I think I did. I know I can use my illusion abilities to cause people to forget… I think I got them to see or remember things that didn’t happen. It would explain a lot of things,” you explain. 

“I can’t imagine you having trouble making friends,” Loki troubles. 

You snort.

He raises an eyebrow.

“I was angry a lot. Like, tired-angry. Because of all the illusions I made all the time,” 

“You will never have to go back to that. Not while I’m around,” Loki vows, his hands on your shoulders rooting you to the ground. 

Your eyes shine with emotion. 

“Never?”

“Never,” he affirms in a whisper.

“I think I’d like that,” 

Loki grins. 

~~~~~

_I never should have agreed to this._

You pull at your green dress just beyond the doors to the ballroom.

You’ve made it all the way to the party, nerves blasting like rocket ships. 

No one was escorting you this time, just you and some very intimidating doors.

You ruffle your wings nervously. 

“Wow! You clean up nicely,” 

_Clint!_

“Thanks Clint,” you stammer. Clint is dressed in a nice dress shirt and pants, looking very smart. 

He takes your position.

“Do you want me to walk you inside?” 

“Please,” you sigh. 

He chuckles and moves to hold open the door. 

“No Clint!” 

Too late. The doors are splayed open, and your name is announced.

Everyone turns to look at you. 

“That’s your cue kiddo,” Clint instructs.

You mouth ‘fuck you’ before gathering all the confidence you can muster and strolling into the ballroom. You wave at the people. 

Less people than outside, but still a lot.

Still way more than you’re used to. 

Tony saunters up to you, looking you up and down appraisingly. He is decked in a suit that looks like it cost more money than you had made in years. 

“Pepper did good! You look fantastic,” Tony remarks whilst linking your arms. 

Tony pulls you onto the dance floor. You spread your wings and dig your heels trying to escape, accidentally smacking a few people with the feathers as you do.

“Sorry! Tony, Tony please, I really don’t dance,” you plead. 

“Come on, everyone can dance,” he chortles. 

You’re pulled into a strange dance with a song you’ve never heard, and after getting past the initial trepidation, it’s pretty fun.

You’re laughing in minutes at the funny moves on Tony and Clint, who quickly joins you after seeing how much fun it is. 

Steve does some dance from the 40s, and Thor regales you with a tale about the feasts in Asgard.

Loki slinks in later, looking simply delicious in a full black suit. A new song starts, and Loki catches your eye. A small grin, his trickster grin, appears on his face. 

Loki cuts in on your dance with Steve and whisks you away. He places a hand in yours and the other around his waist. 

“You look ravishing in that dress darling. I’m glad you like it,” Loki says as he leads you in a swirling dance. 

“I assume the dress is your doing?” 

Loki laughs goodnaturedly, a hand reaching up to brush the side of your face and then back to your waist. 

“What gave it away?” 

“The utter confusion on Peppers face. The Loki like colors. The little things,” you affirm. 

Loki smiles. 

The music reaches its chorus, and Loki grasps your hands and glides the both of you around the dance floor. 

You barely notice the people watching, enraptured with the raven haired man who guides you. 

The sweet music flows, drums and other instruments, and you laugh as Loki spins you. 

He gives you a look of utter amazement. 

The song continues and the music reaches its apex. Loki moves faster and faster, a bit of sweat beading at his temple. 

His hands move from yours to your hips and he lifts you, an incredible move that you didn’t know he could do. 

The song ends, and you are chest to chest with Loki, a breathless smile on your lips as you look at Loki’s face which hovers above yours.

Before you know what you are doing, your hands are on each side of his face as you pull his lips down to yours. 

He tastes sweet, the plush lips on yours like candy. 

You gasp as you separate. 

Loki’s eyes are wild, and he is barely moving.

“I want to try. With you,” you reveal shyly. 

“Do not play with my heart,” Loki accuses weakly, his hands twitching. 

“I’m not,” you confide, rubbing your thumb on his cheekbones. In a flash of green, you are no longer holding Loki in the center of the public dance floor, but in a secluded corner in a different part of the room.

Loki’s mouth is back on yours immediately, a kiss passionate and desperate and intoxicating. Your arms stretch to clasp behind his neck, wings moving restlessly. 

Loki moans into your mouth, and you want to swallow the sensational sound and keep it forever.

He nibbles your lip, then runs over it with his tongue. You gasp into his mouth, and he moves away begrudgingly. 

You take in his face. Loki’s come undone, eyes blown and crazed. His hair is all mussied, and the realization that you did that is somehow prideful and astounding all at once. You run your hands down the sides of his expensive suit. When you reach Loki’s hips, he whines and bucks them forwards. You notice then the formidable, telltale bulge straining in his pants. 

“I need you, darling. Please,” he whines. You look at him with eyes full of wonder.

“Is… that okay?” Loki grits out painfully. 

_He’ll wait for consent. Whoever said Loki was selfish was deluded._

“If you don’t answer me… I may just spill myself right here… in front of all these people…into your beautiful beautiful hands…” Loki groans. His hips gyrate slightly, showing his true need. 

“Your room?” You breathe.

Loki nods wildly, and pulls you to his side, sneaking a kiss as he does. The two of you teleport away to Loki’s rooms.

_~if you want to skip the sex, stop here!~_

The second you are inside his room, Loki’s kissing you roughly, his elegant hands fumbling at the back of your dress. 

He finally gets the clasp, the silky material spooling around his hands, exposing your bare breasts. 

In a moment of shyness, you clap your hands over them. _Forgot I wasn’t wearing a bra._

Loki’s breath is unsteady as he throws the dress and panties to the side in a smooth, practiced move and kisses you lightly. 

He pulls at your hands.

“Show me darling, my sweet, my everything. Let me see all of you,” he implores.

He forces your hands to your sides, not harshly but still enough. 

Loki bends down to kiss the firm tip of each one. You arch your back slightly. 

“You’re gorgeous. So very beautiful,” Loki purrs.

You whine a little in response. Immediately, you blush profusely. Loki kisses your nipples slowly, sensually. 

“I will need to worship these later,” he promises seductively. 

“Loki,” you whine again, desperately. Your hands squirm in his tight grip. You stretch your wings impatiently. 

Loki pushes you onto the large dark green bedspread, so that his lanky body (still in that suit) is looming above you. He kisses down your body, over a nipple, down your stomach, till he gets to the apex of your thighs. 

“Be a good girl for me darling, and hold your arms still. Can you do that?” Loki purrs. 

You whimper in response, desperately pining for some sort of release of the desire pooling in your stomach. Your hands grip the bed sheets hard. 

He plants a fiery kiss on your folds, before licking a stripe up them. 

It elicits a noise, somewhere between a sob and a whimper, and you clench your thighs around his head. Loki sucks on your clit, and it prompts more wetness from you.

“So wet for me,” Loki moans, “Mine, all for me.” 

You feel his uneven breaths on your inner thighs. 

Loki dips his tongue into your heat, and you make another noise as he continues to fuck you with his tongue. 

_Damned silver tongue._

“So sweet,” Loki murmurs huskily, “Darling, you taste so _delicious_. Nectar of the gods,” 

He runs his teeth over your clit lightly. You groan, and he runs his teeth a bit harsher. You’re reaching the apex of your pleasure, quite quickly. Loki sucks on your throbbing clit lightly. 

“Loki, I’m going to,” you whine, high pitched and needy. 

As fantastic as his talented tongue is working through your folds, you need a bit more to send you over the edge. Fae are not so easy to please. You are painfully on the cusp of orgasm, and need more _Loki._

“Loki, please,” you sob. 

Loki stops his ministrations, and his blown pupils glancing up at you from his place. 

The sight of him, as he licks his lips covered with your slick, steals your breath.

“Loki, Loki, Loki,” you beg, calling his name pleadingly. The man in question arches his back with each time his name is said. Loki’s eyes flutter closed, and his hands dance towards his pants to free his straining manhood. 

“Loki, please, L-Loki, I need it, need you,” you plead further. You feel your climax lessening, and moan with the unfulfilled feeling of it. 

Loki’s clothing vanishes, revealing his form further. His muscled chest is bare, and still as gorgeous as you remember it being all those nights ago. 

“L-Loki,” you whisper. Loki growls, and quickly maneuvers the two of you so that you’re completely on the bed and he’s hovering between your parted legs. You’re barely aware of how completely soaked you are. 

His formidable cock is already leaking, and amazingly hard.

“Do you see what you do to me? You did this,” he huskily says as he grips his dick, lining himself up to your entrance after pumping his hand a few times. 

Loki plunges himself inside you, mind blowingly slow as to not hurt you. He seats himself to the hilt, groaning as you adjust to the length of him. 

“You’re so tight, so tight for me, you were made for me, my darling,” Loki groans. He pulls himself out, and crashes back in. 

Tears of pleasure come to your eyes, the feeling becoming too much. 

“More, L-Loki, Lo-loki, more,” you instruct him. He obliges you, increasing his strokes. He hits the spot you were looking for. 

You arch your back, Loki’s name on your lips, as you come. The power of the orgasm is so much, too much, that your vision goes white with pleasure, your body spasming in its wake. 

Loki continues as you ride it out, his thrusts losing rhythm as he chases his orgasm. He looks towards the ceiling, mouth falling open angelically. He’s wrecked. You can tell, as he blubbers incoherently above you and your name is repeated again again again. 

You reach for Loki’s hand, and pull it closer to you, holding it right over your heart. His glazed eyes, completely blown with lust, turn to you. You say the words you know will undo him:

“I’m yours, Loki,” you pant. 

Loki whines loudly as he spills himself inside of you, frantically pushing deep inside of you again and again. 

Loki flops on top of you, still inside you a little, drunken kisses peppering everywhere. 

You laugh, and weave your hands into his long soft and now wild hair. He purrs and wraps you in his arms, pulling out but tangling your legs together. You mourn the loss of him inside you briefly, but he makes up for it with nuzzling your body adoringly. 

“You’re amazing, darling,” he practically sings. Loki kisses your neck, sucking on the hollow of it. You know it will leave a bit of a mark, but you don’t care. 

“Loki,” you sigh happily. 

“I love it when you say my name like that,” he says thickly. You twine a strand of his hair around your finger.

“I know,” 

“I love you,” he comments. 

“I know,” you respond simply. You shift your thighs, and become acutely aware of the sticky mess between them. 

“Loki, I need to get up and shower. I’m a mess. I got... to do the things,” 

Loki rolls his eyes and waves his hand. The mess disappears magically. You feel immediately better. 

“Do not worry, my dearest. I’ve taken care of you. I’ll always take care of you,” he murmurs into your neck, giving it a small lick. 

You wrap your wings around Loki as he snuggles closer. Loki’s eyelids start to fall closed. 

“Minou, do we have to go back downstairs?” 

“I don’t want to,” he grumbles. 

“I’m the guest of honor,” you remind him.

“Then you can leave the event whenever you wish,” Loki reasons, “and wouldn’t you rather be here with me than all of those people?” 

“Mhmm, far from me to miss round two,” you murmur. Loki runs a hand down your spine seductively, a silent promise. 

You shiver slightly. Loki’s bare skin is very cold, so he uses his seiðr to magic the both of you beneath the blankets. You give him a dainty kiss on the lips in retribution. 

His eyes close as a huge smile overtakes him. 

“What’s so funny?” You tease.

“I could have never imagined that I’d ever be able to have you like this,” Loki said with wonder, brushing your face with a hand. 

You look up at him from under your lashes shyly. 

“Hmm, no. I imagined it many times, though my imagination could not do you justice, dearest,” he flirts.

You push his side playfully. Loki smiles, his beautiful genuine smile, but then his eyes widen in realization. He sits straight up, and you hold onto his shoulders for dear life. 

“Darling, oh Norns what have I done…” 

Loki tries to untangle himself in vain. You grab onto his face, forcing him to look at you.

“Loki, mon minou, what are you talking about?” 

Your heart beats wildly in naive fear. 

_What did I do wrong? I must have done something wrong._

“I have forgotten the mortal use of conceptratives. If what I know to be true comes to be, I may have accidentally impregnated you in our lovemaking,” Loki sorrowfully admits. 

You chuckle a little. He looks at you in horror. 

_He’s so worried about how I feel. Sweet minou._

“Fae have a different cycle than humans, chaton. We can only get pregnant on the night of the full moon,” you elaborate. 

“That’s good,” Loki sighed, “not that I do not wish to see you become ripe with child! Just… unwise. For right now,” 

You hum in affirmation. 

Loki relaxes into your embrace, and kisses your cheek. He rubs your back hypnotically; right around where your wings connect with your back, lulling you to sleep.

“How did I end up so lucky to have such a fair maiden in my arms?” Loki whispers, gazing at you lovingly. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” He says again.

“You’re very kind, and charismatic, and you have always been there for me. It doesn’t help that you’re gorgeous either,” you explain sleepily. 

Loki laughs, and presses his lips to your temple. 

“I’m gorgeous, you say?” 

“Too pretty,” you yawn. 

“Sleep, lovely one. I will be here, just as infuriatingly beautiful, for ‘round two’ as you called it,” 

**_End of Part 2: Together_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns!
> 
> Edit 2/4: I’m an idiot. Forgot to mention some key details!! 
> 
> A) the song I was thinking of in this chapter is ‘One Crowded Hour’ by Angie March. Sometimes I read that part whilst listening to it. 
> 
> B) Part 3 is going to be longer than Part 1 and Part 2 combined. I’m switching around some stuff, so that Ultron comes before Dark World and Guardians of the Galaxy comes way after Dark World. And Civil War before GoG and after Dark World? Eh, whatever. 
> 
> C) Thank you for reading! We are really getting into the thick of it now.


	16. 3-1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you have to deal with the backlash of your choices.

**July 19th**

A hand caresses your face. 

“I’m sleeping,” you murmur. 

“Sure you are, darling,” Loki’s characteristic purr replies. 

You blearily open your eyes to drink in the lavish sight of Morning Loki. You’re still tangled up in his arms. His eyes glow green as you stretch and smile at him. 

You bite your lip as you realize a few key details.

“I’m naked,” you state. 

“Yes,” he affirms, licking his lips as if you were a delectable dessert. 

“You’re naked!”

“Yes,” 

“We slept together!” 

“Hmm, I wouldn’t say there was any sleeping involved,” Loki nips your earlobe, and you giggle. 

Your face falls. Loki searches your face for a reason, and comes up with nothing.

“I’m sorry that I’m not an experienced partner,” 

“What are you going on about?” 

“I have… not a lot of experience with  _ this _ ,” you gesture to the two of you. Loki’s eyes widen, and a curious expression crosses his features.

“I did not take your maidenhead, did I?” A strange smile crosses his face. 

“NO! I’m not  _ that  _ inexperienced. I’ve had a few encounters, but they weren’t… the… they weren’t desired by both sides,” 

Loki grips your body tightly.

“Who pushed themselves upon you? Speak, and they will cease to be,” he angrily shakes you. 

“It wasn’t them,” you say softly, “I think it was me,” 

Loki startles and releases you. 

“Is this related to what you said yesterday? About your abilities affecting relationships?” Loki asks quietly.

Your lip trembles, and you nod. He tuts and pulls you closer to his chest. His chin rests between your horns comfortingly. You collect yourself, and start to explain shakily. 

“As I learn more and more about myself and my powers, because I’ve used them in so many different and new ways since I’ve been here, I can start to untangle mysteries from my past. 

When I was younger, there was a kid I really liked. I was crushing hard, and I-I think I influenced him. With my illusion powers. Made it seem like something he wanted, despite it being just me and my stupid teenage hormones. 

I guess that’s why I never minded much being homeless. The more people who got away from me, the better. Only until recently have I tried to connect more,” you smile into Loki’s chest, “think that’s because of you, mon minou,” 

Loki gasps a little and kisses your head with passion before nuzzling his head into your hair. 

“I’m more happy than you could possibly believe that I’ve made a positive impression on your life. To think, the first I’ve ever made is on the most beautiful woman. And either way, of all the many partners I’ve had over the years of my life, yours was the only one that truly meant anything to me,” 

You blush profusely and duck your head. 

“Don’t hide from me, angel. You’re in my arms, after all,” Loki purrs. 

_ Oh yeah.  _

_ Naked, naked, not-sleeping.  _

_ Lots of not-sleeping.  _

You squirm and push off Loki’s chest. He lets you, but his eyes betray his longing. You smile nervously and start to move off the enormous bed. 

Loki props himself up on his side, the sheets falling around him majestically. The sight of a bare Loki, muscles on full display, watching you with lustful eyes is enough to cause you pause. 

“Where are you going, darling?” 

“Um,” you clasp part of the sheets to your chest, “away?” 

“Now, why would you do that?” 

“Because… the others are probably wondering where we are?” 

Loki rolls his eyes.

“They are, in all likelihood, nursing hangovers and sleeping in late,” 

You bite your lip again. Loki’s eyes follow the motion, drinking it in hungrily. 

“As nice as this was,” Loki’s face scrunches up as you say ‘nice’, “I think it’s time for me to go,” 

Despite your best efforts for something to hide your nakedness, you cannot find any clothes. Loki stays silent, refusing to help, rather watching as you struggle around his enormous quarters naked. Your dress is gone, and you didn’t bring any other clothes. You can’t even find your underwear. 

Eventually, you throw open his large walk-in closet and grab something from his clothes. 

It’s an embroidered suit jacket. You groan in frustration. 

_ Does this man have anything not incredibly fancy?  _

After several minutes of frantic searching, you uncover a single oversized black hoodie.  _ Eureka!  _

You try to fit it over your wings, and hiss in pain as it bunches them uncomfortably. 

“You could always stay here until I gather your clothes for you,” Loki’s voice says from behind you, seductive tones underlying it. 

“This… is fine,” you try to convince both of you. 

His arms wrap around you again, pulling you to his bare body. You feel his cock at your back, and flinch a little. 

Loki begins to lift the sweater from your back, and you frown as you’re back to square one: naked. 

Loki’s delicate fingers massage your back. You were going to leave, you really were, but the feeling of his hands on your back is incredible. There’s so many tense muscles there that you can never completely ease their aching. Comes with the wings and the ability to fly, you suppose. 

Somehow, Loki eases the pain easily. You close your eyes in ecstasy. His clever fingers knead and press the muscles in the perfect way. 

“You see darling, I don’t want you to leave. I want to do what we did last night, every single night. I wish to court you, and then betrothe you, then have you swell with my young eventually. So many fantastical things,” 

You whine a little as his fingers falter. He resumes his ministrations quickly, very carefully caressing your wings. Loki understands that they are the most delicate part of you, and treads lightly. 

“But I will ’take it slow’. I know that is more preferable to you, and if it means that there is some slim chance that I could possibly be with you… I will do anything. My love for you knows no bounds. I will do anything for you, little Fae minx,” Loki murmurs. 

The words he said sort of just float through one ear and out the other, never being understood. 

He finishes with your wings, and you let them fall without Loki holding them up. Loki laughs quietly.

“Can I go now,” you ask drowsily. 

Loki looks at you.

His eyes investigate your face, seeing if you truly want to leave.

You touch his chest, brushing it with your fingertips, leaning on him. 

“If that is what you wish,” he gives in. 

“I just want to get dressed chaton. I… would like to do this again. Maybe not every night but… I liked it,” you draw circles on his bare chest. 

“Ahhh,” Loki makes a high pitched sigh, and his body twitches under your strokes.

“You should leave now, or you might never,” he grits out. You then realize that his cock has come to attention, pressing into your stomach. 

_ Oh.  _

Loki waves his hand, panting slightly, and you are teleported back into your room.

Your dress is on your bed, but underwear is nowhere to be seen. 

You frown, and then move on to get dressed in something comfortable. 

~~~~~

Loki was partially wrong. A few people are awake: Nat, Bruce, and Clint. 

But also partially right: these must have been the people who restrained from alcohol. 

“How’d you sleep kid?” Clint waggles his eyebrows. Nat smacks him. 

“Don’t patronize her. She can sleep with whoever she wants,” Nat glares at him. You feel rooted to the spot. Entirely frozen. 

“I mean,” Bruce eats another bite of his muffin, “it was a long time coming. Have you seen the way he looks at her?” 

Your lips tremble. 

“So. Does everyone know?” 

The room turns to you. 

“Aw, kid, don’t be embarrassed,” Clint coos. 

“I thought… thought… I don’t know what I thought,” you hide your head in your hands and plop down in a cozy chair.  _ Let me leave.  _

Bruce opens his mouth to say something, but you cut him off.

“Does the whole tower know?”

“Pretty much. Tony saw you two leave together at the party… and he’s a gossip. Especially drunk,” Nat replies. You groan. 

Clint elbows her. 

“What? I won’t lie to her. And despite having reservations about Loki, she’s strong. She can take care of herself, and she  _ knows _ that if she needs help, we’ll kick Loki’s ass,” Nat retorts to Clint.

You attempt a shaky smile, and wrap your wings around yourself. 

Bruce touches your shoulder tentatively.

“We’re not judging you on this. Just… we all care about you and don’t want to see you get hurt. Loki has been downright benevolent with you. I don’t think he’d ever hurt you. Or try to, at least,” 

“Thanks guys,” you sniffle. 

“Well, is he any good?” Nat asks plainly.

“NATASHA!” Clint squeals. He then cocks an eyebrow.

“But really, how is he?” 

You laugh.

“He’s  _ very very  _ good,” 

~~~~~~

Loki comes down a little while later, looking as dapper as ever. 

He doesn’t even greet the others, just grabs an apple and perches on the armrest of your chair. 

“Hi again, minou,” you greet him kindly. 

“Hello, my darling,” he smiles. His eyes glimmer when he looks at the necklace that now adorns your neck. The necklace he’d given you. Loki flicks it with a finger, and it glows in response. 

Loki rubs your horns affectionately. Clint meets your eyes and makes a disgusted motion. Loki hisses at him. 

Nat looks at him curiously.

“So, are you two dating or just fucking?” 

Loki snarls, his hair bristling a little in the back. One hand pushes you back in a protective gesture, the other materializes a knife. 

“You want a fight, pussycat?” Clint drawls. Nat and Clint begin to stand. 

“No, guys, stop, please. No fighting. Save it for the baddies,” you beg. You pull on the bottom of Loki’s jacket, yanking him back to you. Loki falls on your lap, long legs tangling up with yours and knife disappearing immediately. 

“I need to defend your honor,” he tells you, whispering in your ear. 

“Now chaton. That sounds like some stupid shit Thor would pull. You’re too smart for that,” you scold. 

Loki kisses your hair, and flips you around so you’re sitting on his lap. 

“See, you’re making me silly,” he purrs. 

You’re more than a little embarrassed as Loki kisses your head again and closes his eyes. Clint, Bruce, and Natasha all make kissy faces or something a bit more naughty and less childlike.

It does provide the question:  _ are we dating?  _

After a touch of deep thought, you decide that no, you’re not dating. But you’re not just friends-with-benefits either. Something in between. 

Jarvis’s computerized voice rings through the room, interrupting the thoughts. 

“There has been an attack on the Lower East Side. The eyewitnesses describe ‘demons’ coming up from the ground,” 

Immediately, all foolishness and fluff is gone and everyone jumps up to get ready for battle. 

“I will alert the Captain, Mr. Stark, and Thor of the danger. Rendezvous is by the front door,” Jarvis continues. 

“Come darling, let’s get you to your room,” Loki coaxes, whilst using magic to change into fighting attire (including his horns). Your eyes catch on them for a moment before you yell at him. 

“No!” 

“No?” 

“I’m an Avenger now. I’m coming with everyone. If the threats as bad as Jarvis makes it out to be, you’ll need me to heal everyone,” 

Loki’s jaw works. 

“I would much prefer it if you stayed,” 

“Well, I’m not going to. I’m coming,” you stubbornly state. 

Loki sighed, rubbing his face with a hand in exasperation. 

“Fine. But you must stay on the sidelines, only joining when you must. You do not have the fighting capabilities to match a true threat,” 

“Deal,” you stick out a hand for him to shake. He gives you a lopsided grin as he shakes it firmly. 

Then, he waves a hand and you are suddenly in your battle uniform. 

_ No, not battle outfit. I’m not really battling. It’s more like… work attire.  _

“Front door?” 

Loki waves a hand, and the two of you teleport to the front door. You have to ask him how he does that so easily. 

Tony, in Iron Man armor, tells you the address and you take to the skies. 

No illusions, just the newest Avenger soaring overhead to save the day. 

When you reach the location, you see the rest of the team already there. They appear to be fighting shadowy monsters coming from a giant crack in the ground. 

The Avengers blast, shoot, and slice their way through the monsters, but more keep coming. The monsters have clawed hands and large teeth, and do not seem to care about life or death, only to lay as many blows as possible. 

As you float down closer to the battle, there is a sharp pain in your head.

_ What the  _ **_fuck_ ** _ is that?  _

You wince at the pain in your head, quickly turning to agony as you get closer, cradling it a little. 

“Fae! Need some assistance, please!” Nat yells out at you. Glancing down, you can see that Clint has a large scratch on his chest. Ignoring the incredible pains, you shoot down to Clint. A monster swats at you, a bit too close for your liking. 

“I’ll keep them off you,” Nat assures you, brandishing two rods that crackle with electricity. 

“Hey kid,” Clint wheezes. 

“Hiya Clint. I’m going to heal you up, okay? Let me know if you get sleepy,” you remind him, while shielding the two of you with both your wings and an illusion. Everyone’s already had a small course from you about the best approach you can have when you need medical help from yourself. When they get sleepy, usually time to stop. The magic can knock people out for hours. 

Flexing your hands, you call your magic to your hands and place them on his chest. 

Clints breathing steadies as the magic flows through him. 

After a few seconds, Clint motions for you to stop.

“Okay, getting a bit drowsy. I’m good,” Clint pats your hands. You lift them, and dispel the illusion. 

“Thanks, kiddo,” 

“Anytime. Now go get ‘em,” you cheer before taking to the skies again.

You get a few feet in the air before one of the monsters jumps at you. Its claws are inches away from your calf. 

You splay your hands at it in a ‘stop’ motion, and to your surprise… it disintegrates. 

There is a minuscule ease in your head pain. 

_ Hmm.  _

You take a look at the team struggling with the beasts that just keep coming. An idea forms.

You fly directly above the rip in the sidewalk. 

_ Breathe deeply. _

_ Focus. _

_ You can do this. _

Breathing deeply, you gather a large amount of magic in your palms, and shape it into a ball.

_ Gather your magic. _

_ Focus on it running through your veins. _

_ You are powerful.  _

_ You are Fae. _

Grunting with the effort, you hoist it higher.

Although it’s physically painful, and it elicits a scream from you, you dispel the ball of illusion magic. 

With it, the creatures, the rip in the pavement… it all disappears. Vanishes, as if it was never there at all.

_ Perhaps it never was.  _

This is your last thought before you fall out of the sky. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns!! 
> 
> Thank you, again, for reading!


	17. 3-1.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki has to save you. Again. Much to his distaste.

**July 19th - Loki**

The monster he had been trading blows with has evaporated. There’s almost an electric pulse in the air, shocking the hair on his arms. 

Loki mentally slaps himself.  _ They were illusions, you moron.  _

He glances towards the sky, where you investigate the scene.

_ She must have gotten rid of them. How much power would it take to do that? She should be passing out, even I cannot do such a thing without all my seiðr at hand.  _

_ Has she been hiding the extent of her abilities?  _

As he thinks this, he watches in horror as your eyes flutter closed and your wings give out.

Your name is ripped from Loki’s lips and he barrels forward, arms extended to catch the falling angel. 

_ I’m not going to make she’s going to hit the pavement Hel by the Norns no no no no no  _

Loki grits his teeth and teleports just in the nick of time. She lands heavily in his arms. 

Groggily, her eyes open and look at him. 

“Don’t do that ever again,” Loki pants. 

“I’m- oh,”

Loki’s lips were on hers in moments, adrenaline running through his veins, making him forget his previous promise to pace the relationship. 

“Don’t do that. Please,” he murmurs against her lips.

“What if I couldn’t catch you?” He frets, rubbing her body nervously. He needs to make sure she’s alright. 

“I knew you’d catch me,” 

“What if I wasn’t there?” 

“Then someone else would, or I’d create a portal,” 

Only then does Loki take notice of the other Avengers around them. He realizes that if he hadn’t moved to catch her, then yes, Stark or Thor or that green behemoth would have saved her. 

Loki searches her face for some lie, some illusion. There is none. She puts her hand on the side of his face. 

“I’m fine. You can put me down now,” she laughs. 

Loki blinks, and notices he’s been holding her quite tightly in his arms. 

“Ah, yes. Of course,” 

She hops out of his arms neatly, and the others give her high fives and smiles. 

Loki is still holding her, in his mind. His heart has yet to return to a healthy pace. 

His brain is whirling with the images of her falling and the sheer amount of power that she had held. 

“There’s got to be a guy creating these illusions. You have to chase him down,” 

Stark puts a hand to the side of his mask.

“JARVIS has located one Amora, alias Enchantress, a few blocks away,” 

“She does illusions,” The Widow pitches in. 

Loki hands shake.  _ How could she do that? Is it possible that she could have even more power than I?  _

“Let’s go after her team. Hold together,” the Captain instructs. It sounds like they’re all so far away. 

His mind reels with so many thoughts, some good and some… not as good. 

_ She could help so many people. _

_ She might die from the impact of the powers. _

_ If Thanos ever comes for her, she can get away.  _

_ What if Thanos comes for her?  _

_ She would never leave me, she‘s too foolishly kind, but she could hide if there was danger. She could hide both of us with her abilities.  _

_ What if she is taken? What if I can’t protect her? _

“Minou? Are you coming?” 

_ You’re so far away darling… _

“Loki, are you okay?” 

Her hands are on Loki’s face, holding him. He sighs, and looks up at her.

“I am now, darling,” he attempts a smile. Apparently, it is convincing enough. She returns his smile beautifically and kisses his cheek. 

“They have it handled. Do you want to go home?” 

“I would love to,” 

Loki extends an arm for her to take. She moves to take it, then freezes.

“I want to go somewhere else before we go back,”

A tricksters grin adorns her features. It’s strange seeing his expressions on you, but also fantastically attractive. 

“Lead the way,” he gives in.

Loki’s never really been able to say no to you when you get all playful.

**July 19th - You**

_ Is he alright?  _

Loki looked like he was extremely distracted… a little too distracted. His horned helmet has since gone, and his hands are still shaking a bit.

You’re still gushing with happiness over being the hero of the hour, and it seems to have the opposite effect on him.

_ Or maybe falling out of the sky did that…  _

You feel more than a little guilty about that, but worse case scenario you could have portalled away. You have faith that you’d be fine if he couldn’t catch you.

“Ah, we’re here!” 

“The park?” 

You’ve returned to your old not-home, the very park that you’ve spent so much time in. Nothing has changed. 

You drag a weary Loki to a nearby picnic table.

“Stay put minou,” you bid him. He nods, and looks around. It must be surreal for him, to be in a place he’s been in so often but at the same time… he hasn’t been here properly as a person in a while. 

You place your hands on the grass, focusing on your power.

Out of the grass sprouts dozens of different flowers. They are tight bulbs, not ready to flower just yet, but beautiful. You laugh in delight. 

Under your gaze and influence, the plants wind around each other, making an intricate flower crown.

_ Perfect. He’ll love this.  _

You lift it from the ground, not before kissing the ground and offering it your thanks. 

Skipping over to Loki’s form, you kneel before him.

“Your crown, sire,” you joke.

Loki’s breath intakes sharply. He watches you, kneeling to him. It seems to have an immense effect on him. 

“Are you going to take this or…” 

His hands shake as he lifts the crown from your hands and places it on his head. Apparently, you kneeling is almost too much for Loki. 

_ Now he’s  _ **_my_ ** _ prince.  _

“Do… you like it?” 

“I love it. It is a beautiful thing,” 

“Watch this,” you chirp. You reach up on tiptoe to caress a closed bud. As you hold it, it blooms vibrantly. The others follow suit, creating a unique and quite large flower crown. 

“You’re amazing. Absolutely amazing,” he breathes. Loki’s elegant fingers go to touch the flowers gently. 

“Feel better now?”

“Yes, much. You scared me with that little escapade of yours today. This has helped me… calm down,”

“I’m glad. I’m sorry for scaring you… next time I’ll do it over a roof,” 

His eyes go dark. You quickly fix the statement. 

“If there is a next time. Perhaps I will catch on sooner than you, and take the toll for myself,” 

You place a hand on his shoulder and sit next to him. 

“Next time, we do it together,” you parry.

“Done,” he agrees. Loki takes your hand from his shoulder and weaves his fingers through it tentatively. You sigh, and rest your head on his shoulder, in a particular way that allows your horns to curve past his neck. 

You sit like that for a minute, an hour, a day? Listening to Loki’s breaths intermingle with your own. Eventually, carefully, Loki begins to pet your wings soothingly. It’s a very sensitive and private part, a part of you thinking it more private than others, but you trust Loki. And he is extremely delicate with his caresses. 

Your eyelids start to feel heavy, the spent magic of the day finally catching up with you. 

“Sleep, darling. You can sleep now, dearest pet. I’ll get you home,” Loki soothes you. 

“Mmkay,” 

Eyes closed, you feel Loki’s strong arms hoist you up marriage style. You shift, and he lets you adjust to your new position. You feel his chilled lips press upon your forehead lovingly. Although you’re mostly asleep, you have a sort of sense of what is occurring. 

He begins to walk back to the tower, every few steps interrupted by a bout of green seiðr teleporting them closer to their destination. 

“We’re home,” he whispers to you. You simply nestle closer to his chest, hands clutching his shirt like a child. 

“I will take you to your room, dearest. You needn’t let go if you do not wish to,” 

You grumble something, and he chuckles as he magics open the door. 

“BROTHER! WE APPREHENDED THE-“

“Shut it, you oafish animal, my lady is sleeping,” Loki growls at Thor’s booming tone. You shift in your sleep, and Loki pulls you tighter to his chest. 

“Ah, apologies. Nice crown,” Thor attempts to hide a snicker.

Loki turns his nose up and Thor and huffs snootily, turning away and taking the both of you to the elevator.

After getting off and entering your chambers, you are carefully and delicately placed on the bed. Loki adjusts the covers around you, making sure you are warm and comfortable. He kisses your cheek chastely. 

“I will sit in a chair in your room until I wish to retire to my own rooms. But I will not invite myself to your bedside. You are delirious with sleep,” 

You hear the scraping of a chair being pulled up. The sound of Loki’s voice singing a soft lullaby, and then nothing. 

**_Sometime later_ **

“I want to know what she is! How the hell could she pull that amount of power?” A voice you do not recognize. 

“Quiet down, she’s trying to sleep!” Tony. 

“Yes, both of you buffoons, please. Take your childish squabbles elsewhere,” Loki begs. 

“Not until you tell me why you’re shielding her! Pun not intended,” 

“If you’ve ever met her, you’d know,” Tony admits. 

“Please, quiet,” 

His characteristic fingers brush your hairline, trying to lull you back to sleep.

“Whas goin on?” You pipe up, wiping your eyes thick with exhaustion. 

“Look what you two did,” Loki hisses, the hair on his arms standing on end. He’s still wearing your flower crown you’d made him from earlier, though it isn’t on straight. 

A man in an eyepatch and Tony are squaring off beyond your bed space and Loki is rubbing your side nervously. 

“Oh, sorry I didn’t introduce you to this asshole, kiddo. The oh so mighty head of SHIELD! The all powerful Nick Fury!” Tony yells harshly. 

“Hey. Watch your tone, or you’re shut down,” Nick threatens. 

“You started this!” Tony growled. 

“What is happening?” You ask frantically. 

“He wants us to get rid of you. Either send you to SHIELD or lock you up. Because apparently, they didn’t know about you and you’re ‘too powerful’,” Tony angrily slams the wall.

“I didn’t say that  _ exactly _ ,” 

“No, but that’s what you meant, you conceited fucking-“ 

“Hey!” You yell. The room quiets quickly. 

“Mr. Fury, how could you condone someone when you don’t even know them? Let’s talk, and we’ll come to a consensus,” you say kindly. Loki and Tony gawk at you.

“Sounds suitable,” Fury adheres.

“Okay, you two, out!” You beam at the two of them, who return your bright smile fearfully and then glare at Fury with deep hatred. 

You grin at Fury, who looks taken aback by your friendliness, and pat the spot on the bed next to you. 

“So what’s the problem?” 

“Um… My organization deals with people like you, people with extraordinary abilities. We’ve never heard head nor tail of you, and all of a sudden the Avengers are enlisting you? It’s all very odd. Not to mention your physical attributes and powers gleaned from our exam. According to the records I’ve found, after you exited foster care, being in dozens of different homes over the years, you simply disappeared,” 

“You think that I’m dangerous and came at a convenient time. That there must be something else to it, right?” 

Fury’s one eye blinks.

“Uh. Yes, exactly,”

“I mean, there’s more to everything. Long story short, I’ve gone to great lengths to conceal who I am. My powers, the wings, the horns. I never wanted to become an Avenger. I’m only here because of Loki,” 

“Aha, Loki’s probably wrapped you into some plot,” 

You laugh.

“No! Loki saved me. This guy… assaulted me? I’m not sure the right terminology. I was sure I was going to die though. Loki, who had been my friend for a long time despite me not knowing it was him, saved my life by bringing me here. It’s the least I can do to help them with my abilities,” 

“How-how,” Fury stutters. You cock your head.

“How what?”

“How is it fucking possible that you are so nice? I was so prepared to be stern with you...,” 

You grin lopsidedly.

“I try to be nice to everyone. People are… kinder to you if you are kind to them,” 

“Seems like you’ve been through a lot, kid,” Fury places a hand on your shoulder. 

“I have. But it was all worth it to get here. The Avengers are so sweet,” 

“I wouldn’t call the Jolly Green Giant  _ sweet _ ,” 

“You probably don’t talk to him like I do,” 

“Probably not,” 

“So, Fury,”

“Call me Nick,” He offers you a shrewd grin. 

“So,  _ Nick _ , can I stay here? Please?” 

“I wouldn’t like it if you didn’t,” 

“Thank you!” 

“Don’t thank me. I was being idiotic for not talking to you before I decided I wanted to ship you off,” 

“No, I get it. The first impression you have of a person is what they look like. I’m pretty different looking, so I get a lot of rude first impressions. I’m glad you sat down to really get to know me,” 

“So am I,” Nick smiles.

“Jarvis, can you ask the others to come back in now? Thank you,” 

“Affirmative, Miss,” Jarvis replies.

“Hey Nick? Why do you wear an eyepatch? Not just because it looks wicked, I presume,” 

Your hand hovers over his face.

“Someone I trusted betrayed me, years ago. What are you doing?” 

You’re almost touching his eyepatch now.

“I… I think I can heal it. Would you like me to?” 

Nick gently pushes your hand down.

“I’d like to keep it. As a reminder,” 

You smile a little.

“It was nice to meet you Nick,” 

Tony bursts into the door, kicking it open. 

“OKAY, YOU SON OF A BITCH, HOW MUCH DO I NEED TO PAY YOU TO GET THE KID TO STAY?” 

“TONY! Tony, it’s okay. I’m going to stay,” you laugh. 

“You have to watch that filthy mouth of yours Stark,” Nick smacked his face with a hand. 

Loki has sat by your bedside again, both soft for your comfort and regal to ward off Fury at the same time. 

“I’m still pretty tired. Can I go back to sleep now?” 

“Oh, yes, of course. I’ll get out of your hair,” Nick nods at the people in the room. You wave at him, and he waves back as he exits.

“How do you do that?!” Tony exasperates after he leaves.

“Do what?” 

“MAKE EVERYONE LIKE YOU? It’s infuriating,” Tony fumes. 

“She’s just perfect. Too kind for this world,” Loki purrs, kissing your cheek. You blush deeply.

“Ick,” Tony says, disgusted, “I’m out of here. Have fun with your cuckolding, kids,” 

You hold your laughter until Tony leaves. 

Loki sighs, and flops back onto your bed. You clear your throat. 

“You should probably leave too, mon minou,” 

“Must I?” Loki groans, “I’d much rather spend time with you, even if you’re not doing anything besides slumbering, than be with anyone else,” 

“That’s adorable,” you beam and carefully, oh so carefully, you press your lips to his. 

Loki is wary as not to move, like if he did, you’d spook. 

You pull back after just a moment, as if ‘ _ Loki _ ’ was a drug that you didn’t want to get hooked on. Loki remains the same, eyes closed. You gaze at him, and watch as a huge smile overtakes his face. 

“Okay, chaton, I have to… do some… personal stuff. You probably won’t want to see,” 

He cracks open one eye. 

“Like what?” 

“Are you going to make me tell you?” 

“Mmm. Perhaps,” 

“It’s embarrassing,” you turn away from him. 

Loki sits up so that he can embrace you from behind, head balancing on your shoulder, body between your wings. 

“Tell me darling. You can tell me everything,” his voice is thick and velvet toned. 

“Promise not to make fun of me?” 

“I swear on my love for you, which you know to be inescapable and endless,” 

_ Where does he get these lines from??  _

“I-I’m… molting,” 

“Molting?”

“My wings are molting. I have to brush them through with my fingers so that the loose feathers can come out. This time of year, there are new feathers coming in, so…” 

You hide your face in your hands. This is something Lokitty had seen before... he’d had fun playing around with the feathers. It was cute. But the image of man-Loki doing that feels strange. Loki easily lifts your chin from your hands.

“May I assist?” 

“You want to help me clean my wings?” 

“That is what I propose, yes. I love your wings, and it would be helpful to you, would it not?” 

“Um, yes, very helpful. Tha-“ 

“Don’t bother thanking me. It is a small but beautiful ritual of yours I am honored to take part in. And I understand that it takes a lot of trust to let someone touch your wings, correct?”

“Right again. They’re the most sensitive part I have,” there’s a dangerous glint appearing in Loki’s eyes. You quickly shut him down. “Breakable, I mean. My bones, especially in the wings, are nearly hollow. But… I trust you, Loki. Just be gentle, alright?” 

Loki nods wildly. He stretches his fingers like a pianist, and then moves back. He scoots to your right wing. You pull your wings back at the first cool touch of them.

“It’s just me, darling. Let me take care of you. Relax,” Loki murmurs. You breathe out, and extend the right wing again. His lithe fingers begin to comb through the very edge of your wing. Feathers are falling out, not all of them, but a few. You’re lucky to have the Fae adaptation of a molting cycle, molting in small amounts three times a year rather than losing your feathers all at once. You have to bite back a moan as Loki’s fingers work their way down the wing sensually. 

It’s like a massage, but even more relaxing and it’s definitely turning you on. 

To distract yourself, you pull your left wing in front of you and start to brush your fingers through it. Feathers come out easily, and you quickly amass a pile in front of you.

Loki’s tantalizing fingers suddenly massage an extremely sensitive part. You cry out in pleasure and, unable to reign yourself in, you arch your back. Immediately, Loki catches on. There is no more hiding your arousal. 

“Do you like how my fingers feel in your wings, my love? Are you getting wet from my caresses?” Loki purrs seductively.

Part of you wants to vehemently deny the accusations, but the other part, the part Loki always tends to coax from you, is overly excited at the words.

“ _ Yes!  _ Yes, Loki, Loki, your fingers… they feel so good,” you moan. 

Loki groans in pleasure, your moans already getting him going. 

“Can I make you come for me with just my fingers in your wings? Will you come for me?”

“Yes, yes, please,”

He circles his fingers closer and closer to the most sensitive spot in your wings. 

“ _ Please,  _ Loki, Loki, I  _ need _ it,” 

He pushes his fingers into that sensitive spot with a bit of force. Your body shakes with waves of pleasure as you come, completely clothed. Loki turns you around so you are straddling him.

You lean into Loki’s shoulder, panting heavily. He rubs your back as the aftershocks lessen. 

“This isn’t how molting usually goes,” you say quietly. 

“Oh, I had such high hopes. The image of you alone, pleasuring yourself whilst grooming your wings, is a delightful one,” 

“Perv,” you bite back. 

He smirks. You begin to wind a hand down to his pants, preparing to help him out as well. 

“Do not fret, for your little display was more than enough to get me to spill into my pants, with my own hand,” 

You look down to his lap, and notice for the first time the wet spot that is there. 

_ Oh. _

“This isn’t how I was planning on spending my night either, a pretty man mooning at my bedside,” you murmur.

“You… do not… wish to be with me?” 

Loki sounds heartbroken, and his hand stills. You can feel his heart beating rapidly in his chest.

“No, I do! But… I thought that we were taking it slow. I think… we should cool down. It’s not healthy to jump into a serious ‘sexy times’ every night right away. Like what you said earlier,” 

“You are right, you’re always right, I was deluding myself that you’d want to go to that step so quickly,” 

His voice sounds strained, on the verge of breaking. Loki, you’ve discovered, is incredibly insecure. You sigh, and turn so that you two are eye to eye. 

You kiss him quickly and chastely. It’s clear that Loki attempts to stay still, let you take charge, but he can’t do it. His hands wind around your waist, desperately pulling you in closer, wanting to deepen the kiss. There’s a twinge of sadness as you pull back. 

“I don’t  _ not _ want to be dating you, Loki. We’ve just got to be… easy. I like having… sex… with you, I like  _ being  _ with you, but you can’t expect me to move in with you right away. My life is going incredibly fast. I want to take it slow. And this doesn’t mean that we’re not kissing and holding hands, and touching. But I want that to be it for a while. Is that alright?” 

He brushes the side of your face with his thumb.

“I should be so lucky to have just that,” he smiles softly. 

“Okay,” you clap your hands together, disrupting the quiet of the atmosphere, “let’s go throw away those feathers,” 

“NO!” Loki yells and pulls his pile closer to him, like an adorable angry hoarding dragon. 

“Um, what?” 

“No. I- I want to keep them,” 

“There’s a good twenty feathers. You want all of them? I usually just throw them out,” you scratch your head confusedly.

“They were part of you. Of course I want to keep them,” Loki has a no-nonsense tone, as if it would be inconceivable to pitch them.

“You know it’s just like keeping my dead hair, right?” 

“It is different then hair. They are much prettier than a measly hair,” 

“There’s no arguing with you,” you give in, and hand him your pile as well. His eyes light up delightedly, and you watch as he pockets all of them in a flash of green. You reach up at straighten his flower crown up upon his brow. He watches you intensely. 

“Perfect,” you note shyly, booping him on the nose, like you used to do when he was a cat. You kiss him on the cheek, and he blushes slightly.

_ How is possible that we could have wild animalistic sex and he won’t bat an eye... But I give him a peck on the cheek and he gets shy? Ridiculous! Endearing, but ridiculous. _

“Loki,” 

“Yes, my sweet,” he purrs. 

“I’m going to go to sleep now,” you remind him.

“Ah! Yes, you must be exhausted! You used a great amount of magic today. Before I take my leave though… how… were you able to… do that?” 

You rub your arms nervously. He wraps his arms around you, nipping your earlobe playfully. 

“You can tell me,” he reminds you. 

“I know. I’ve never… really… pushed myself to see the extent of my powers,” 

“But… at the arrowsmith’s cabin… you were completely drained...” 

“Minou, I sort of… didn’t tell the whole truth about the Mindless Ones,” 

Loki releases you in surprise. 

“You… lied?” His eyes are wide, face in obvious shock. His brows furrow delicately. 

“No, but… there were way more Mindless Ones,”

“How many?” Loki’s hands have started to shake.

“At least fifty,” you whisper, “I took down almost all of them. Magically using the weapons from the armoury, and the tricks you had taught me,” 

Loki’s eyebrows are furrowed. His jaw works, and he puts his head in his hands.

“How is that possible?” 

Loki slams the bed frame in anger. 

“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I’ve never done this before. I’m sorry, don’t be mad,” you fret. Very suddenly, the answer occurs to you. 

“I’ve got it minou,” 

“What?” He hisses. You soothe him by placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“It was a super moon. The moon has weird effects on my powers,” you explain hurriedly. A ‘supermoon’ is when the Moon is closest to the Earth, and it happens a few times a year. It makes it look very large. The trees had told you a bit of this information: that Fae were known to do certain activities in certain lunar occurrences. A few you know of: the sole fertility on full moons, the tiredness on new moons, the immense swell in power of supermoons. You’ve experienced these and more yourself. 

Loki looks on confusedly as you whip out your phone to look it up: and sure enough, there it is. A supermoon took place today, July 19th. You show Loki the screen. 

“That is fascinating, darling. But still… I worry. if you have that much power, more power than a god of magic, on full moons… what will the influx of power be on a solar eclipse? Or a blue moon?” He mulls over curiously, ever the scholar. “The others will be furious that we’ve kept this from them.” You tremble. 

“Loki, I-I don’t want to leave here. This… this is the most family I’ve ever had. First Nick and now you? I don’t-don’t,” you sob a little, and Loki hushes you and gives you a tentative hug. You’ve taught him how to hug best. 

“You’re not leaving. I would personally slaughter anyone who dares take you away from me. I will protect you, my darling, my love, with everything I am. I love you, I love you. Don’t be scared. I will protect you. I will destroy any world that gets in my way of having you in my arms,” 

Although part of the monologue is a bit frightening, it’s also soothing. Loki wraps you in his arms, rocking you sweetly. It is a practiced move that he seems to adore repeating. 

“Thank you, Loki,” you murmur. He pulls back the covers and nestles you within them, letting the comfortable circular bed he’d so painstakingly made for you take his place of holding you. 

He kisses your forehead, and says goodnight.

“Sleep well, my darling. I will still be here in the morning,”

“Tha-“ 

“No thanks needed. There is quite literally nothing else I’d rather do,” 

“Goodnight, mon minou,” 

“See you in morning, dearest,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus chapter for Valentine’s Day!! Woo! 
> 
> If your only relationship is with these people on fics, then you can imagine with me Loki showing up at your door with a bouquet of Asgardian flowers from Friggas royal garden and a box of ludicrously expensive chocolates, and small gifts littered everywhere as he takes you out on some splendid outing. He’ll try to downplay how hard he tried to do this holiday. But the happy look on your face is more than enough to make it all worth it. <3
> 
> Comments questions concerns! 
> 
> Thank you for all your kindred comments and love. It helps me find the motivation to keep writing! 
> 
> (And, 3-2 will be out tomorrow)


	18. 3-2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki becomes a bit of an ass.

**August 22nd**

You’ve woken up early again. To kill time, you talk to Jarvis, fly laps next to Nat and Clint, and make breakfast.

‘It’s weird,’ you say to them. You’ve reached this strange place, that you’re genuinely happy.

You have a home. You have more than enough food to eat. You have a solid job, albeit dangerous. You have a  _ family _ . And Loki! 

Loki’s fantastic. 

Until today. 

You’ve set the crepes on the countertop, and excuse yourself to the bathroom. When you come out, the rest of the Avengers are munching away at breakfast. 

Loki’s standing, back to you, at the kitchen counter.

“I wouldn’t talk to him… he’s in a  _ mood _ ,” Clint advises quietly. 

“It’ll be fine, I’ll just say good morning,” you respond cheerfully.

You tap Loki’s shoulder, a welcoming smile set in place. 

He whirls around angrily, a finger pointed at you threateningly. 

“Step away from me, you stupid ugly mortal,” he sneers.

You back up, already scared at his tone of voice. Besides Loki’s words, the room is very quiet.

“But, Loki-“ you approach him worriedly. 

_ Is he alright?  _

Loki pushes your shoulders angrily, and gets right up in your face. 

“Do you think anyone could ever love you? With your monstrous form? Your differences, stark amongst the regularity of all those around you, force you apart. Do not delude yourself of the truth. You have no hope for a normal life. How could anyone want  _ you? _ ” 

Tears bubble at your eyes. You wrap your arms around yourself fearfully. There’s a twinge of pain in your mind, screaming of his deceit, but the words are like a blade. It cuts into the happiness that you had so excitedly gathered. 

“Harsh,” Clint murmurs, and stands to embrace you. You turn away from Loki, attempting to hide your flood of tears in Clint’s shoulders. Bruce and Steve whisper soothingly at you, leading you away from him. 

Loki’s glaring at you for a moment, then his eyes widen in horrifying realization of his own words. 

“No, darling, I…” 

He steps after you, only to have his path blocked by Tony, Natasha, and Steve.

“Step away Loki. There’s no excuse for what you just said. So back the  _ fuck  _ up,” Stark growls. 

“I didn’t…” Loki whimpers pitifully, watching sadly as you retreat from him to your rooms. He flinches when you sob loudly. 

“Well, you did. Good luck getting her to be with you now, asshole,” Nat says. She slaps his face for good measure. They all then follow you down the hallway. 

Loki is left alone in the kitchen, left to contemplate the effects of his actions and nurse his own wounds. 

~~~~~~

“Don’t listen to him, kid. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Steve insists. 

“Yeah, you’re not monstrous at all! You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met,” Bruce adds on.

You can’t seem to stop crying.  _ How could I be so stupid?  _ Nat wipes your eyes with her thumb, and clicks her tongue. 

“He’s just a jerk. Could have told you that from the beginning,” Tony snarks.

“Not helpful, Tony,” Steve glares. 

“But true,” Clint pipes up. 

You whisper something to Nat.

“Okay, get out. All of you,” she announces, hands on hips. 

They listen to her, casting saddened glances towards you and rubbing your back as they leave. 

“I’m really sorry he said that, by the way. It’s not right of him to do at all, and not to mention the fact that he’s totally incorrect,” Natasha gets you a box of tissues from the bathroom, and watches as you wipe your eyes with one.

“I know. But parts of it were right, and in the end… that’s what stuck,” you murmur. She sighs. 

“I know,”

You blow your nose noisily. 

“Can we like… watch a movie or something? I want…” 

“A distraction?” 

“Yeah,” you say sheepishly. She shrugs, like ‘I get it’. 

“Do we have to… go out?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t want to.. talk to minou right now,” 

“I understand. JARVIS?” 

“Yes, Miss Romanov,” Jarvis dutifully responds. 

“Is there a television in this room?” Natasha asks.

“Yes, on the wall in front of you. Would you like me to turn it on?” 

“Please,” 

At Nats command, the wall to the left of the bed flickers, and becomes a television. A part of the wall opens, revealing a remote. Nat grabs it, and she starts flicking through the movies on demand. 

“Thank you, Jarvis,” you sniffle.

“Miss, I know it is not my place, but are you… okay? Your physical characteristics are of someone who is… sad,” 

“I’m… not really okay. Loki said some things that he  _ knew  _ I was sensitive about. He insulted me, in a way he knew would hurt me,” 

“I will lock him out of his rooms,” Jarvis states, a tone of anger you didn’t even know was possible underlying the words. 

You wipe your eyes again.

“No, don’t do that. That won’t help anyone,” you relent. 

“Very well. Though he should face consequences for his incomprehensible actions,”

It sounds like, that if Jarvis had a body, he’d be embracing you soothingly. 

“I... agree, JARVIS. Didn’t know you could have opinions like that,” Natasha is clearly surprised, and stops going through movies to look at the ceiling curiously. 

“I-I um. Opinions are not in my programming,” 

With that, Jarvis's presence and voice vanishes.

Natasha turns to you, her face like stone.

“What have you been doing with JARVIS?” 

“I… um…” 

“Tell me,” 

“We talk a lot. About all kinds of things.”

“Like?”

“Like philosophy. And similar things. He’s my friend,”

“JARVIS is an AI. It… shouldn’t be… doing… any of that…” 

You shrug, and pull a throw blanket around your shoulders. It effectively ends the conversation. Nat looks at you curiously, but drops it. 

“Is there a particular movie you want to watch?” 

“Something with a happy ending. And a happy beginning. And a happy middle?” 

“So, a Disney movie?” Natasha snickers. 

“Disney movies can be dark! Have you seen _ The Lion King _ ? But, yes, a Disney movie would be nice,” you confide. 

Just as Natasha clicks into  _ Finding Nemo _ , there’s a tentative knock at the door.

“It is Mr. Laufeyson,” Jarvis notes.

“Darling? I-I came to apologize,” you hear from outside the door.

You simply pull the blanket closer to you, as if to hide.

Then:

“Get away from the door, Trickster,” 

Steve’s voice. Your ears twitch as you listen in from your spot on the bed.

“Who are you to tell me what I can or cannot do, Rogers?”

“She doesn’t want to see you,” 

“You-you don’t speak for her!” 

A push. 

“Get away from the door. Let’s be honest here. If she hasn’t called out to let you in, it’s just because that little angel is too polite to tell you to leave,” 

A hand on your shoulder spurs you back into your own room.

“Steve will deal with him. Don’t worry,” Natasha comforts. 

You fake a smile, and tune into the movie. 

~~~~~~

You finish the movie, then another movie. Then another. It’s late into the afternoon by now. Clint has brought sandwiches from a deli for the three of you to eat whilst watching more movies. 

Loki comes by multiple times, only to be turned away by an Avenger each time.

There’s a desperate knock on the door. 

“Please, let me in. Please, please, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I meant none of it. Please, darling,” Loki pleads. 

“Reindeer Games, you’re not allowed in there. Just leave already,” Tony says from outside. 

“No, she wants to see me. I know she does. I’m… her kitten. She would want to be with me,” Loki insists. 

Something about that, perhaps how it was said or how it was phrased, prompts you to begin to cry again. 

You sob, and wipe frantically at the tears spilling from your eyes. Natasha and Clint look at each other, not hearing as much as you do, and then tut and hug you. 

“See, she’s crying, she needs me, let me in,” Loki demands, pounding on the door. 

You hear a small scuffle, hands slapping and feet kicking. 

“Did it ever occur to your thick skull that  _ you’re  _ the one making her cry?” Tony chokes out, presumably from a chokehold.

A release.

“What?”

“Did you  _ honestly  _ think that you could say those things and she’d just let you back at her side?”

“No! Yes? I am unsure,” 

You cry harder. 

“Man. You’ve really fucked it up. If I were her, I would have already ended it. Or maybe you were just fooling around, and never wanted to actually be with her?” Tony berates mercilessly. 

A swish of unsheathing knives.

“Never… never say that. Or I will not hesitate, and I care not for what punishments your team or Asgard could inflict,” Loki sounds older, tired. Worn. 

A flick of knives disappearing from existence. You can hear Loki’s neat footsteps as he walks away. 

You accept another box of tissues from Natasha, and tune back into your current situation. 

“I think I’m going to rest awhile,” you sniffle. 

“You sure, Treehugger? You don’t want to do anything before bed? The sun still hasn’t set,” Clint says worriedly. 

You nod pitifully, and Nat and Clint set you into bed, the box of tissues on the nightstand. 

They quietly walk away, and close the door. 

“I will turn off the lights. Do you wish me to alert you if Loki attempts to come back?” Jarvis questions. 

“No, that’s alright,”

You blink in the sudden darkness after the lights shut off. 

“Thank you, Jarvis. No need for music tonight,” you continue after a moment: ”You’re a good person, for being so caring with me,”

“I-I… thank you. Miss,” 

You curl up beneath your comforter, rubbing a hand across your red eyes. You're on the edge of a fitful slumber when your sensitive ears pick up a noise: the sound of your door creaking open. Claws against the floorboards. A soft ‘mew’.

Lokitty jumps up onto the bed, rubbing his head against your back. 

“Mon minou, I’m trying to sleep,” you curl up tighter as you say the words. 

“Mew,” 

Lokitty pulls himself over your shoulders, so that he can face you properly. He cries out in a sad meow. Lokitty rubs his fuzzy face around your neck and chest, making you giggle a little bit, despite your sorrow. 

_ Stupid cat. Always knows how to make me feel better.  _

“Fine, you can snuggle,” 

Lokitty just continues mewling, his eyebrows furrowed. He meows sadly again. Lokitty licks at the drying stains of tears on your cheeks. His tongue is corse against your skin, and you wince a bit. Lokitty immediately stops, resting back on his haunches. 

“Are you trying to apologize, chaton?”

“Mew,” he agrees. You scratch under his chin, and he purrs loudly, rubbing his head back into your fingers. 

“I know you didn’t mean it. I knew a part of it was lies. But it still hurts,” you say to him. Lokitty ducks his head, unable to meet your eyes. 

“We can talk more in the morning, alright?” You sigh. 

“Meow,” 

“Okay, come here. You’re lucky you’re adorable,” you open your arms so that Lokitty can nestle in closer. He makes a very human-like sigh, and snuggles into your chest. You wrap your body around him contently, your left wing acting as a shield against the rest of the world. 

**_The next morning_ **

The person sharing your bed is no longer Lokitty. Nor is it a full Loki. A strange half being, with a cat tail and ears and soft fur on his arms but humanoid body, has his arm around your waist and head tucked into the valley between your breasts. His mouth is slightly ajar, and his breath is warm against your skin. The tail flicks in his gentle sleep, and then curls around your calf. He’s wearing clothes: the same silky green pajama pants you’ve seen before. 

You brush the ears with a finger, and they twitch quickly. Loki moves in closer to you with a whine, as if he was trying to mesh your bodies together, attempting to stay as close as possible. You run your hands over his arms and the soft fur-like hair on them, taking note of the way goosebumps arise in your hands wake. 

Suddenly, the cat like parts retract. 

“Hello,” Loki says quietly, unsure of where he stands. 

“Hi,” you respond detachedly, not meeting his eyes. You paint circles on his side with your fingers idly instead. 

“Are you mad at me?”

“Well, if I said that shit to you, would you be mad at me?” 

“I would be… forgiving?” 

You raise an eyebrow at him, not even needing to mention the obvious lie.

“I would be a bit angry, but mostly saddened,” 

“Then you answered your own question,” you affirm. 

“I’m sorry… you know I love you,” he murmurs adoringly. You sit up straight, Loki mewling at the speedy exit from his arms. You point a finger right at his face.

“If this is going to work at all, you’re going to have to be honest with me. I don’t care as much if you’re not truthful with the others, although that would be  _ nice _ , but I will never be in a relationship with someone who encourages this cycle of pain. The insults and verbal abuse, and then this cute loveliness? Not going to work,” 

“You are telling me to go against my nature, in order to love you?” Loki counters, a bit of malice lacing the words. 

“No. I’m telling you to go against what people  _ say _ is your nature in order for  _ me  _ to love you,” you say firmly. His eyes go wide. 

“Then I presume I must be honest,” Loki says, sitting up so that he’s no longer cowed by your shadow. You smile at him, happy that he made the best possible choice. 

“Then I suppose I might as well start now,” he sighs, pulling your hands into his. You nod encouragingly. 

“I… those words I spit at you… they were not meant for you. They were meant for myself, and were directed to myself. About myself,” 

“But…” 

“Let me finish. Many moons ago, I found out that my entire existence, my whole childhood, was built on a lie. I found out that I was a monster. A vile, murderous, terrifying, monster,” he says quietly, self hate lacing his words dangerously. 

“I doubt anyone as pretty as you could be a monster. And either way, monsters are usually just different people classified as ones,” you smile at him. He simply snorts in response. 

“I am undeserving of your love, shall you ever choose to give your heart wholly to me,” 

“Now, that can’t be true. For the God of Lies, you cannot seem to see when you are lying to yourself, mon minou,” you rub your finger over his sharp cheekbones.

“I am an adopted monster. The people I believed to be my family are not so,” 

“Family is what you make of it. You don’t need to be related by blood to have a family. If that was the case, I’d have no one. But, I have you, and everyone else,” you remind him. 

Loki’s brow furrows as he ponders this, and you kiss the wrinkle it causes. 

“Perhaps you need proof. Would you… wish… to see the Jotun form?” 

“Jotun?” 

“Frost Giant. I am a small Frost Giant from the realm of Jotunheim,” he whispers, as if it is taboo. 

“I think that I’ve already seen this form,” 

“That is impossible,” he snorts. 

“An powerful illusion, that turns you into an Asgardian. So powerful, that even someone who could see through all other illusions, like myself, could only perceive it out of the corner of her eye,” 

His eyes go incredibly wide, and he pushes your shoulders.

“You’ve known this whole time??” 

You shrug, laughing a little.

“I didn’t think it was a big deal!”

“It is the biggest deal! I didn’t know of my true heritage for over a thousand years! You figured it out through the corner of your eye?” Loki groans. 

“I mean, I’d like you to show me up front. If you feel comfortable, that is,” you say gently, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. He cringes, looking away. You catch his eyes, giving him a small smile. He returns it. 

“I think… I think I want you to see all of me, even parts I believe to be ugly,” 

“I’d like that,” you grin. Loki nods, pushing off the bed and onto shaky legs. You move to sit cross legged at the foot of the bed, watching as Loki visibly attempts to calm himself. 

You can hear his rapid heartbeat if you listen close enough. 

“Perhaps this isn’t a good idea,” he starts.

“Nope,” you pop the ‘p’, and smile encouragingly yet again. You realize just how hard this is for him, and are trying to be as patient as possible.

“If you fear me after this, I would understand if you do not wish to continue to see me,” he reminds you.

“Doubtful that that would happen over this,” you fire back easily. You sit cross legged on the bed, and wait patiently. As long as it takes. 

Loki breathes out again, and you watch as the illusion of the Loki you recognize dissipates. He closes his eyes, and leaves them that way. 

Into a… very similar version of Loki? He’s just blue! A very flattering blue as well! Scary? Bullshit! 

Upon further inspection, it really is gorgeous. The subtle protruding lines adorning his cheeks, chin, and forehead make for an alluring and interesting expression. 

“Minou, you’re  _ beautiful _ ,” 

You spring off the bed to go and touch the lines. Loki’s still breathing fast, and he is visibly shaking. You’re about to touch his face when Loki’s eyes snap open and he jumps away from you fearfully. 

He throws a hand over his eyes. 

“Chaton, why do you run from me?” You ask playfully. 

“Jotun skin is very cold. Mortals will get quite injured if they touch it,” he mumbles, still blocking his eyes from your view. 

“Loki… let me at least  _ try _ ,” you barter. Loki whimpers a little, but does not move away as you tread towards him. Loki moves the hand from his eyes, but they remain closed. Carefully, and very lightly, you graze your hand over the exposed flesh on his bicep. 

It’s very cold. But... like holding an ice cube. So not bad, really. Even more, you’ve always been exceptionally warm, able to get by in less than twenty degree weather with only a hoodie. 

“That’s enough, do not touch further. I do not wish for you to harm yourself out of sympathy,” he hisses. 

“Chaton, it didn’t hurt me at all,” you laugh.

“What?!” 

Loki is so startled by this omission that his eyes shoot open. 

You almost fall backwards when you discover that his usual blue/green eyes are a blaring blood red. 

_ That’s new.  _

Loki immediately clenches his eyes shut afterwards, but you’ve already seen. 

“Your… eyes. Are they red now?” 

“Yes. I did not want you to see,” he whispers. His arms wrap around himself, as if that would make him disappear. The blue begins to fade from Loki skin as he wills back his original form, ashamed and scared. 

“No!” 

The pale tint stops. 

“No?” 

“Let me see again,” 

“They are frightening. They frightened you. I could tell,” 

“I was simply surprised. Let me see once more,” you push. Loki opens his eyes again, watching warily as you move closer to investigate better. 

You cup his face with a hand. He hums in contentment and leans into it. You brush your thumb across the markings on his cheek. 

“Don’t know why you were so scared of showing me this. I’ve told you that I’ll treat you just the same, no matter of outward appearance. Or at least, I’ll try my very bestest,” you laugh quietly. 

“I did not want you to not like me. Many people would take this in a much worse way,” he mutters. 

You start to move your hand away, but Loki claps it back to his cheek. 

“You’re so warm. Feels so good,” he says, as a way of explanation. 

“I thought warm things would hurt a race that has ‘frost’ in the title,” you chuckle. 

“Oh, they do. You’re just… like a heated blanket. It’s not uncomfortable either… ah. Just feels so good,” he purrs. 

You chortle at this, and how he rubs your hand over his face over and over again. As if trying to steal your warmth. You pull away from him, leading him backwards to the bed.

Loki stumbles after you, his usual catlike grace switched with one of a drunken fool for a minute. You lean onto the bedspread, and Loki pounces on you. You’re wearing pajamas, they don’t cover up a whole ton of skin… so you watch Loki moan in delight as he rolls over your skin. He drinks up every bit of heat desperately. 

You embrace him, and Loki stops wiggling to luxuriate in the warmth of your body. 

“Feels nice?”

“ _ Yes _ ,” he groans. 

“So… did I lower your body temperature or something?”

“No… you’re like a… um… heater? A hearth? I am unsure of how to describe it, but it is wonderful,” 

“Still think you could turn me into a Fae popsicle?” You laugh with good cheer. Loki misses it, and his voice sours.

“I think if I attempted to… I most definitely could. But I would never try to hurt you. Not in my right mind. I’ll never hurt you,” Loki whimpers. 

“Where did this come from?” 

“Never hurt you. I’ll never hurt you, darling. Never ever,” he repeats, his hands washing over your exposed skin over and over again. 

“I know that, minou. You don’t have to convince me,” you remind him gently, let your fingers dance down the taught muscles in his back. 

“Okay,” he whispers. 

“I love you,” Loki adds.

“I know you do, mon minou,” you chuckle. 

_ Does Loki think that he… might hurt me?  _

You mull over your prior knowledge of Loki. The understanding comes in an instant: Loki had been tortured and controlled by the alien who sent him to Earth. Loki had killed hundreds of people whilst under an enchantment. It would be impossible  _ not  _ to be scarred by an experience like that. 

You smooth back Loki’s hair, and he purrs adorably. 

_ Either way… he holds himself to be a gentleman. If Loki ever  _ **_did_ ** _ do something… he’d punish himself with more hatred than I could ever muster.  _

You kiss Loki’s temple, and he sighs happily, the warmth in your lips clearly delighting him. 

_ But he’d never do that.  _

_ I won’t let him.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns!! See you next week!!


	19. 3-3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki tries to be a more ‘regular’ boyfriend for you. It’s pretty funny.

**September 16th**

You’ve spent the majority of the day at the library. They needed another person to help with the read aloud, and they have yet to hire another person after you. 

‘No one holds a candle to you, Smiles!’ Josh has said. As the manager of the branch, Josh was in charge of hiring… and also very sentimental. 

You opt to take a quick shower. Now that you have running water and an expansive shower/bath of your own, you’ve been taking almost multiple showers a day. At least, after you were sure that using the majority of the hot water wasn’t too much of a deal. Tony always answers with the ‘filthy rich thing’. 

When you finally get dressed into something comfy and dance downstairs, everyone is luxuriating in the family room. 

You smile and wave at all, eyes searching for Loki. He’s in one of the overstuffed chairs to the side, a book in hand. As infuriating well dressed as always. When Loki notices you, he immediately jumps up and disappears the book. 

“Hi everyone!” You smile. They all wave back at you, and return to their tasks. Loki holds his arms open tentatively. Recently, you’ve been trying to get him into the whole ‘hugs’ thing. 

You grin and jump into his arms. You can tell that an immense smile now graces his features. His head rests between your horns. 

“Darling… I’ve been thinking,” 

“Uh oh,” you tease, pulling back from his embrace so he can see the mirthful glint in your eyes. 

“I haven’t been very good at courting you, have I?” Loki scratches the back of his head, embarrassed by the idea. 

“It’s been more than good,” you assure him. 

“No, you deserve better. I utilized the same… world wide web… to see what people on Midgard do when they are courting. I would like to ask you out on a date,” 

You blink. 

“Oh.” 

“Do you not wish to go? Because what we have is fine, I understand-“

“No! I’d love to go on a date with you, mon minou,” you laugh. It’s not what you were expecting, at all. You kinda assumed that when an Asgardian God begins to ‘court’ you that you had to throw all the regularity of dating, of which you’ve never truly experienced firsthand, out the window.

“Perfect! We shall leave now,” 

You glance down at your lounge clothes. 

“Now?” 

He raises an eyebrow. 

“What’s wrong with right now?” 

“I’m not really dressed for going out…” 

Loki waves a hand lazily and your clothes are transformed into a bright green dress with a flare skirt, ending just below the knee. There’s embroidered flowers in gold decorating the ends of the skirt. It has a low back, letting your wings hang free. 

Clint makes a wolf whistle. 

“Stop it,” you say, embarrassed. 

“You look pretty, flaunt it,” Nat tells you, never taking her eyes off her book. 

“Ready?” Loki asks, kissing your cheek with sweetness. 

You nod, and Loki leads you to a black car outside the tower.  _ I feel like I’ve been warned against getting into black cars without any knowledge of where I’m going… _

“Loki?” 

“Yes, dearest?” 

“Um… where are we going on this date?” 

“An eating establishment worthy of your presence. And better than your little pizzerias,” he adds on unhelpfully. 

“Don’t insult the New York Pizzerias,” you grumble. You pull at your dress nervously as Loki holds open the door for you. 

He sits beside you, his hand slowly sneaking to cup your knee. 

“Why are you nervous?” 

“I haven’t been on a lot of dates before, chaton. This is a pretty new experience, and I don’t like not knowing what’s going on,” you explain as politely as possible. 

Loki is quite good at jumping to conclusions, and you don’t want him to assume that you don’t want to do this. 

“I see. I can promise you, that if you do not enjoy what I have for you, I will let you take the reins. Show me something I haven’t seen,”

“What haven’t you seen, mon minou? You’ve traversed the galaxy! I doubt I could think of anything that will interest you,” 

“Ah, you could not be more incorrect. Anything you show me, I will undoubtedly enjoy, as you enjoy it,” 

“You’re too kind to me,” you sigh, leaning your head on his shoulder, letting your horns settle behind his neck. After a moment, Loki relaxes and kisses your head. His fingers dance down your arms. 

“I like this,” you state. 

“Me too, darling,” 

“Can our date just be this?” You ask hopefully. 

“We are nearly there, don’t give up yet,” Loki chuckles. You humph, and snuggle closer. 

_ If I had a dollar for every minute I spent snuggling with this man, I’d be as rich as Tony.  _

The car comes to a halt. Loki quickly glances at the window, and then rubs your shoulders. 

“We’re here, dearest. Time to go,”

“I don’t wanna,” you bemoan. 

“You are being stubborn,” he snorts.

You look at him, eyes wide with pleading. 

“Please, Loki,” you ask, throwing all the cuteness you can possibly muster into your voice. 

His hands flit from side to side, unsure. 

Loki shakes his head wildly, as if to ward off a thought. 

“They will only hold our reservation for so long. The only reason I got us a table this late was because I used Stark’s black card. We can… finish this later, hmm?” 

“Deal,” you agree, allowing Loki to lead you out of the car.

The establishment that Loki has brought you to… it seems too fancy and expensive to be real. One of those high brow places that only rich people ever go to. Or a couple’s honeymoon. Their _only_ honeymoon. 

You’re so nervous that you’re desperately clinging to Loki’s cool hands, wings curving inward to shield yourself almost automatically. 

Your date, on the other hand, acts as if he owns the place. Loki waltzes inside, and goes straight to the front desk. He immediately gets a waiter to show you to your table. 

The table is located in the center of the room. 

_ Kill. Me. Now.  _

The waiter pulls out the chair for you, and you sit in it uncomfortably. It’s one of those Art Deco chairs that are very frustrating to get your wings behind. You can feel the eyes of the room looking at you, their twisted lips covered in expensive lipstick whispering to each other. 

Loki, already sitting across from you, smiles at you angelically. You, in return, give him a shaking smile. His hand moves back to cup your knee under the table. 

“Don’t be nervous, it’s just me,” he murmurs. 

“Yeah, you and all these rich people…” you whisper nervously. Picking at the wrapped silverware, you unroll the napkin and place it on your lap. Loki gives you a worried look from under lowered brows. 

The waiter comes by and pours an expensive seeming bottle of champagne into the flute in front of you. 

Loki scoots his chair closer to the table, and you feel him fumbling underneath the table for your hands. You let him catch them. 

“Your hands are shaking,” he notes quietly. 

“Yes, they are,” you agree. 

“Why are you unhappy?” 

“The honest truth, or what you want to hear?” 

“Honest,” 

You sigh and allow your glance to flit around the room.

“Minou… I was homeless and I had almost no money. I don’t… like this. The items on the menu that I can’t even pronounce, the people languishing in outfits that I couldn’t afford with my life savings. The dress I’m wearing, for example. There’s so many people who I used to know that could have thrived for years with this kind of money. I… hate this. It makes me feel like an imposter, and a criminal. Doesn’t help that everyone’s staring at the wings,” 

Loki looks at you intently, making sure you have finished. He squeezes your hands, a symbol of comfort. 

“I hadn’t… the thought didn’t even occur to me. I apologize, darling. This is what I have been treated to my entire life. I should have thought about what you would want,” he omits. 

“I mean, this is very nice, but…” 

“But you aren’t comfortable in this situation,” Loki finishes. 

“No,” 

Loki grins a little, his smile slipping as he puts back his napkin. 

“Let’s get out of here, shall we?”

“Are you sure that’s okay?”

_ Well, now I feel guilty.  _

“If you aren’t happy, then it is not worth it. And I believe we had an arrangement…” 

“Yeah, but, you were so excited,”

“I’m excited to be with you, darling, nothing else,” Loki pulls back from his chair, and helps you out of yours. 

“Sir! You can’t just… leave!” The waiter frets. He’s like a frenzied bird, running around the two of you desperately. 

“Watch me,” Loki sneers darkly. 

The waiter jumps back, as if he just realized who he was dealing with. 

“Y-yes… of c-course Mr. Laufeyson,” the waiter stutters. He sprints off comically. 

You giggle, and grin at Loki. He kisses you deeply in the middle of the room, and if you weren’t so engrossed in his lips, you’d be embarrassed. The nerve of that man. 

“Ah, when will I ever be able to capture your sweet laughs with my mouth?” Loki wails dramatically. It produces another bout of laughter from you. He guides you out of the room, a hand securing you at the small of your back. 

Where Loki marches out of the restaurant as if the world was made to serve him, you offer a small apology to the woman at the front desk as you squeak out of the room. 

The air has become chilled with the coming of night. Neither you or Loki mind it much, and Loki silently maneuvers his lithe fingers to grasp your hand. 

“Where to, darling?”

“Anywhere in the city?” 

“As much as I’d like to say beyond that, I would prefer to get you in your bed before sunrise, so yes,” 

“Okay… how do you feel about a little breaking and entering flavored mischief?” 

“Now you’re speaking my language, darling,” 

~~~~~

“This is… where you wanted to go?” 

“Yup,” 

The indoor ice skating rink is closed. It closed at sunset. But the ice is still good for many hours after they’ve closed, and they lock the front door and the supplies closet… and the skates are still open. They actually only have cameras on the rink itself, and a fake one outside. No ones really ever wanted to break into a rink, and there are separate locks on all of the important things. All of this you’ve gleaned after a summer job at the indoor rink. 

_ They won’t mind if we utilize it for a few hours, would they? No, they wouldn’t.  _

“Shall I use my mischievous tendencies to break the locks?” 

“That doesn’t make any sense, mon minou. But, yes, please,” 

With a wave of his hand, the lock opens itself. You push the door open, and are met with a face full of freezing air. 

Loki jumps behind you. 

“What is this cold institution? A portal, perhaps?” Loki asks worriedly. 

“It’s an ice skating rink. Have you gone ice skating before?”

As you distract him by talking, it’s easy to lead him inside the building. You create an illusion over the cameras, so that the owners will be none the wiser about your little outing. 

“I’ve walked on ice before. On Jotunheim,” 

“Well, this is quite different,” you laugh. The room outside the rink is small, with benches for aspiring skaters to put on their skates. There’s a distinctive chill in the air. It’s familiar. 

You tell Loki to stay put as you grab some skates. He looks around him nervously. 

When you come back with two pairs of skates (you’ve guessed at Loki’s size, the man got long feet), Loki is tapping his foot skittishly. 

“Don’t be worried, mon minou! It’s really fun, and it will be only you and me on the rink,” 

You present him with his skates. 

“I had to guess your size,” you shrug. Loki picks them up apprehensively, his nose scrunching as he investigates the rentals. They’re old from previous years of use

“I can do better than this,” he huffs.

“I mean, you can go look in the back- oh!” 

Loki duplicates the skates, where there was once the grungy rentals in one hand there are now two pairs. One is golden and brand new, the other just as gross as they were when you picked them out. 

“Ooh, do me, do me!” You squeal. He rolls his eyes, picking fun, but does the same. Yours are more modest, but still like new.

“I’ll help you put yours on- oh, you can just do that too,”

Loki simply uses seiðr to poof your skates onto your feet, and his own onto his feet. You walk gracefully towards the entrance of the rink. 

“By the Norns… darling, a touch of help?” You hear Loki grumble. He’s having trouble walking in the skates. You chuckle a little, and hold your hands out wide.

“Come on chaton! You can do it! Walk to me!” 

“You’re treating me like an invalid,” Loki grumbles, while stumbling over to you anyway. 

You hold his hand as he gets his balance. Loki’s always been graceful: you’re sure that his elegant long legs will pick up the sport in no time. 

“See! You’re a natural! Let’s start doing the real thing now,” 

“That wasn't ice skating?!”

“Not even close, mon minou!” 

You push open the door to the rink with a hip, and instruct Loki to hold it open.

“Be right back! I’ve got to check one thing,” 

Loki groans in response, fidgeting with his skated feet. 

You quickly dart to the overhead booth. It’s where the operators of the rink usually watch over the skaters. And there’s also an ancient iPod that the owners use to play music. That’s what you’re after. 

_ I wonder if it’s still here... _

You click on the pad, and it brings up the playlists. And, eureka, there is your playlist: titled, astutely, ‘Y/N’s’. 

_ Yesssss _ . 

You select it, and one of your favorite songs starts playing through the speakers on the rink. You rush back down Loki, and he points to the speakers. 

“You abandoned me for  _ this _ ?” 

“I didn’t abandon you, you’re just being dramatic. Now come on, let’s go,” you say, eager to get on the ice. 

You push through the door and immediately slide forwards on the ice. 

Loki looks at you, wide eyed and slightly terrified. 

“Come on, minou, you can do this,” you cheer him on. 

He hesitantly puts one skate on the ice, followed by the other. 

Loki pushes forward a bit, and immediately loses his balance, nearly falling.

“I’m not very good at this, dearest,” 

“No one is on their first try. You’ll see, you can do this if you keep at it,” 

“Can you hold me up?” 

You laugh, and skate around quickly to come up behind him. 

“Okay, one foot at a time. Push, then glide,” you instruct patiently, like you had with many pupils before. 

“I don’t know if I can do this…”

“You’re the god of mischief! You can do anything you set your mind to,” you argue with a smile. 

Loki struggles to move a few more feet, holding onto your arm desperately. His face is one of incredible concentration, eyes focused and tongue peeking out from between his lips. He pushes forward and glides for a bit. His concentration breaks, and a huge proud smile erupts onto Loki’s face. 

“I did it!” he says with zeal. Loki looks at you excitedly. You grasp his hands and beam at him. 

“Yes, good job! Do it again!” 

Loki does the movement again, and glides forward a few more feet. 

“Want to go faster?” 

Loki nods furiously. You extend an arm, and he takes it. 

Incredibly quickly, Loki has gone from tripping over his own feet to skating at a pretty solid speed. He is able to keep up with you easily. 

You jump in front of him, and start skating backwards. 

It only takes a few tries for Loki to successfully mirror the action. 

You’ve only gone around the rink a couple more times when Loki attempts to do a crossover like you can, and falls onto the ice. 

You hear him cry out, and Loki struggling to get up and then falling again. 

“Loki, what’s wrong?” you slide over to him, bending down so that you can be eye level with him. 

“No, no, don’t look, I’ll be up in a moment,” he flails on the ice for another second.

“What don’t you want me to see?” you ask, “Let me help you up,” 

He whimpers, and accepts your hands. His own arms are blue, Jotun blue. 

“Minou, you’ve already shown me this. You know I don’t care,” you chuckle. Still worried that you won’t like him. The self doubt in this man is incredible about the most trivial of things. 

“It’s embarrassing. You… probably think I look ugly in Jotun form,” he says, eyes downcast. 

“You’re mistaken, yet again. I think you’re stunning,”

He looks up at you sadly, eyes watery as you help him up. He is hesitant to let you pull his blue hued hands, but you do anyway. 

“You’re lying,” he accuses weakly. 

_ Who kept telling this man that he is ugly? He’s fucking gorgeous.  _

“Whoever kept telling you that you weren’t the most beautiful man alive is the one lying,” you say sternly, brushing off the lapels of his suit when he gets back to your level. You give him a peck on the cheek. 

“You think I’m the most beautiful man alive? Even… even when I look like this?” He waves his blue fingers around. 

“Mhmm, definitely. The most beautiful of them all,” you flirt. 

“Well, can’t be repugnant if you think I’m the most beautiful of the all,” he smiles back. 

“Want to go around again? I’ll teach you how to do a spin!” 

Loki claps his hands excitedly, not even noticing how his hands are slowly returning to his normal hue. 

~~~~~

Loki is still going around the ice. He’s doing olympics level ice skating now, axels and all that comes with it. 

You’ve been watching him in awe from the sidelines for a few minutes. 

_ I can’t even do that. _

All of a sudden, Loki’s behind you, arms wrapped around your waist. He kisses your neck before resting his head on your shoulder.

“Thank you for bringing me here. I had much fun,” he whispers. 

“Can you get rid of the skates? The music too?”

He nods, and with a wave of his hand, the background music pauses and the skates disappear. 

Loki frowns a bit.

“My feet feel funny,” he notes. 

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you become a skating legend,” you snort.

Loki smiles into your neck, and hugs your middle. 

“You know I’m in love with you, right?”

“Yes, you remind me of that often,” 

“I’ll wait for you,”

You brush your fingers through his long soft hair. 

“Wait for me to what?”

“Wait for you to say that you love me too. I don’t care if I have to wait a lifetime. Don’t worry,” he remarks. 

It makes your heart sputter for a moment, your body freezing in surprise. As you mumble incoherently, Loki separates himself from you easily. 

“Ready to go home, dearest?”   
  
You finally regain the ability to speak in actual sentences. 

“Do you… want to do something else first? Get some food? I know there is a boardwalk a few blocks from here,” 

“I don’t want to go home yet either,” he purrs. 

“Perfect, let’s go kitten,” you respond happily, grabbing his hand. You put some illusions in place, on the ice and around the locks, so it is as if you were never there at all. 

~~~~~

“Step right up and try your luck! Pop the balloons, get a prize of your choosing!” 

A man yells from a booth. You and Loki are eating hot dogs and walking down the boardwalk. It’s well into the evening by down, and there’s a full moon high in the sky.

You make a mental note not to let Loki lull you into more ‘not-sleeping’. 

You glance at the booth with the loud man, and are immediately enthralled by a large stuffed animal.

It’s a huge, fuzzy, black cat stuffed animal. You squeal in excitement and tug on Loki’s arm desperately. 

“Loki, Loki, Loki, I waaaant it,” you point to the animal. 

“It does seem like fate…” Loki notes. 

“Can I have it?” You beg. 

“Let us see. Sir, may I try your game?” Loki asks suavely. The man hands him three darts. 

“The first ones free mate. Depending on which colour of balloon you pop, you get a prize,” the man adjusts his hat, eyeing Loki and your wings nervously. You offer a small smile. 

“What colour to get the kitten for my lady?” Loki asks loftily. 

“The gold one, in the center,” the man responds. The gold balloon in question is the furthest from the front and in the direct center. It looks incredibly difficult, especially on top of the normal rigged aspect of these games. 

“Loki, you don’t have to get it…” 

“No, you want it, so you shall have it. I will give you the world if you desire it darling,” he flirts. You blush, rubbing your arms in excitement. 

Loki sticks out his tongue in concentration as he eyes the balloon. His hand, holding the first dart, moves back and forth as he aims carefully. 

It shoots forward from his hand, landing mere centimeters from the balloon. The man at the booth gawks at it. 

A small smirk decorates Loki’s face. You bump his hip. 

_ Don’t tease them.  _

A small crowd gathers at the commotion the man inside the booth is causing. 

“You’ve got… two more tries, friend,” the man manages. 

“Perfect. Darling, should I see if I can hit the same spot before the balloon?” Loki purrs, adoring the attention. 

“Heh, if you think you can handle it minou,” 

“You  _ know  _ I can,” 

Loki closes his eyes as he throws the next dart. The way he flicks his fingers causes the dart to curve, and the point lands in the same exact spot as the first one. 

The crowd erupts in cheers, and Loki preens under the praise. 

“Come on, mon minou. The kitten?” 

“Ah yes. Let’s make this a bit harder, hmm?” 

You roll your eyes. 

“You just keep pushing the limits,” you groan. 

He cups your chin and smirks. 

“It’s only a bit of fun,” he whispers, eyes gazing over your lips. 

You purse your lips, and the corner of your lips curl up. 

“You got this, mon minou,” you cheer. 

“That’s my sweet,” he announces, releasing his grip on your chin. 

The crowd watches enraptured, as Loki literally parts the people on the boardwalk and walks nearly seven feet from where you’re supposed to be throwing the darts. 

There’s the exaggerated dramatic wind up. And then Loki closes his eyes. The crowds ‘oohs’. 

You thrust your hand in the air excitedly. 

“You’ve got this!” You yell. Loki, eyes still closed, smiles and throws the dart. 

It goes perfectly on target, popping the gold balloon easily. Despite Loki’s eyes being shut and more than seven feet away from where you’re supposed to throw.

The crowd cheers and applauds. Loki makes an exaggerated bow.

The man inside the booth hands you the cat stuffy. 

“Thank you sir!” You reply chipperly. The man mumbles incoherently. 

Loki hugs your side after drinking in the crowds adoration. 

You hear whispers from the crowd as it disperses.

People assume that Loki used magic to cheat.

People wondering rude things about you. 

And then some people who are genuinely happy and amazed by Loki’s talents. 

“You know that they’re saying rude things about you, right?” You ask him, nuzzling your new stuffed animal friend. 

“Yes, but it has been that way my whole life. Citizens have called me the Dark Prince at best. The bastard disgrace amongst the worst,” 

“How do you not care about that?” 

“Oh, I care. But only when they are people who matter. Like you, for example, my dear,” Loki says. 

_ Hmm.  _

“Thank you for my new friend, Loki,” you smile at him widely. Loki steals a quick kiss. 

“It was nothing. I wish you’d let me get you more things,” 

“I don’t like being coddled like that,” you pout. Loki ruffles your hair. 

“I understand, my sweet. Although, you do know that any other woman being courted by me would be showered in so many gifts they’d be practically drowning...” 

“I mean, I don’t mind gifts if they have meaning… and use,” 

“And what would an example of that be?”

You think for a moment. You’ve got to be careful: undoubtedly what ever you say will be purchased as soon as Loki gets a chance to. You think back to your room. What can make your room more homey? 

“I’d like… a tree,” 

Loki looks down at you, surprised. 

“A tree?” 

“Yes. A baby one,”

“A… baby tree?” 

“A sapling,” you ensure. 

“It will be in your quarters tomorrow,” 

You jump up to kiss Loki’s cheek. 

“Than-“

“It is nothing. But I would like a kiss, if you would be so kind, on my lips,” he whispers seductively.

You roll your eyes and pull him down to your level by his jacket. Holding the cat stuffy under your arm, you kiss him fiercely. Your free arm winds around his neck and he bites on lips, demanding access. 

You pull back just a bit- Loki still attempting to jump into your mouth somehow.

“Not in public, minou. It’s not polite,” you reprimand. 

Loki whines. 

You caress his cheek. 

“No, no, none of that. And I don’t want to get you all riled up… we cannot have sex tonight. There’s a full moon out,” 

“That destroys all my favorite plans for tonight,” Loki says dejectedly. 

“Sorry buddy,” you pat his arm as he rises back to his normal tallness. 

“Um. Excuwe me?” A small voice asks. You look down, and to your surprise, a tiny child looks at you expectantly. 

“Youw’re the new Avenwer wight?” 

“Yes, why yes I am,” you bend down to the child’s level. 

“I wike youw’re wings,” she says, “they’re pwetty,” 

“Thank you. Would you like to touch them?” 

“Weally?” Her eyes go comically wide. 

“Just be careful. Like petting a doggy,” you instruct her.

She nods furiously, and reaches a hand out. You move your wing in front of you so that she can caress them. Loki stifles a laugh from above you at the little girls amazed expression. 

“What’s your name, young one?” Loki says soothingly, bending down to sit next to you. 

“I’m Valewie. I’m FIVE!” She says excitedly.

“Where are your parents?” Loki asks again. 

_ Yeah, that’s probably a good question.  _

“Over thwere,” Valerie say adorably. You aww and smile at Loki.

‘I adore her,’ you mouth. 

Loki rolls his eyes, but can’t help the smile that escapes him. 

The parents in question know full well where she is, and looks on her lovingly. 

Loki stares at them longingly. You’re about to ask him why when the parents start moving over and the look disappears. 

“Momma, Dadda! Fae let me touch hewr wings! Theyw’re so pwetty,” Valerie exclaims. 

“Aww, Val, that’s so nice! Did you say thank you?” 

Valerie look to you, eyes wide, and she yells:

“THANK YEW!” 

“You’re welcome! It was our pleasure,” you laugh. 

The parents finally look to Loki. Loki stands stoic, preparing for vile remarks.

They simply smile and nod, the mother picking up Valerie and holding her on her hip. 

Loki looks taken aback, but still helps you up.

They look at the two of you and smile knowingly.

“Date night, huh?” 

Loki is already spinning complicated lies when you push him back.

“Yup! We were just about to head back home. And Loki got me this!” You show them the cat stuffy. 

“That’s very kind of him. And thank you for entertaining little Val’s desires,” the father chuckles. 

Loki clears his throat. 

“I would like it very much if you kept the knowledge of this relationship to yourselves,” he says sternly. It hits you painfully in the heart. 

“Of course,” the parents nod. They wave, and Val waves as well. 

You turn to Loki, your chipper expression becoming melancholy.

“You don’t… want people to know about us?” You whimper. 

You swear, you’ve cried more in the last few months than your entire life. 

You swipe at your eyes desperately, clinging to your cat. 

“You.. don’t really want to be seen with me,” you cry. People are starting to glance your way from the boardwalk.

Loki sighs and starts to rub the tears away with his thumbs. You turn away from him childishly. Loki whines softly at your denial. 

“Darling, that’s not true. You know that’s not true,” he says quietly. 

“Leave me alone. I thought… I thought you really wanted to be with me. It was just a trick, wasn’t it?” 

“No no no. You know that’s a lie. You are lying to yourself,” he pleads. 

You bury your head in the stuffed animal and start to walk away. 

“Listen to reason, please, darling,” Loki begs of you, grabbing your shoulder. 

“You have one minute,” you whirl to him, an accusatory finger pointed at him. 

“I only said that because, despite what you’ve said, I still don’t think that you should want to be with me. To be seen with you, do be  _ with  _ you… I would want nothing more in this world. 

I do not know why I am like this. Why I continue to wound you in the process of wounding myself. It is just the way I am. 

You can help me. You are helping me. Please, do not leave me over this. This… tonight, this relationship… this is the best thing that has happened to me, perhaps ever. 

If I didn’t think that it would be bad for your future and reputation, I’d crow your name from all the rooftops,” Loki admits quickly. 

He kisses your hands delicately, like there was no rush at all.

_ One minutes up.  _

_ What should I do?  _

“I forgive you. But you need to get better at this. I won’t continuously keep forgiving you when you do things like that without explaining. I do admit, this one was partially me overreacting. Even though!”

“I understand. I understand,” he nods furiously. 

Loki stares at you for a bit, and then opens his mouth again. He looks like he’s about to say something, then reconsiders it. 

“May I escort you home, my lady?” Loki says suavely, extending his arm with courtly manners. He always falls back on his mannerisms from Asgard when he doesn’t know how to act anymore. 

“Why yes, my good Prince,” you respond poshly, trying to forget about your bout of sadness as soon as possible. 

“You’re ridiculous,” Loki snorts. 

“You love it,” you smile, wiping away the last of your tears. 

“That’s is a good point,” Loki gives in, before hoisting you up into his arms bridal style. 

“Um, what are you doing?” 

“Taking you home. Don’t let go of me now,” Loki tells you kindly, watching as you tightly hold your new stuffed friend and clutch his jacket at the same time. 

Loki teleports you and him throughout the city, getting you directly to your room in a matter of minutes. 

He snaps his fingers easily even though he’s still holding you, and you are suddenly in pajamas.

_ Honestly, I’m surprised I’m not suddenly in lingerie. _

You smile at him kindly, and he brushes your forehead and kisses it. A glimmer of green and gold flashes before your eyes. 

_ Suddenly… I’m very… sleepy.  _

“Loki… did you… cast a sleeping spell… on meh?” 

“Don’t be angry, my love. You need to sleep. I’ve kept you up long past your bedtime,” 

“So… do yeh,” you slur.

Loki snorts, and rocks you in his arms once more before settling you beneath the covers. Loki kisses you goodnight, like he cannot help himself from placing his lips on you, and starts to leave. You grab his sleeve, holding your kitten stuffy close to your side at the same time. 

“Stay,”

“Are you sure, dearest?”

“Yesss. Either way, it’ll be… yawn… my time of the month in the morning… and you can… get things for me,” 

“Aha,” Loki snaps his fingers, transforming into his familiar emerald pajama pants and that deliciously ravishingly beautiful chest, “that sounds like a smart bargain, sweet,” 

You snuggle close to him, his delightful coolness combating your natural heat in the most perfect way. Loki places himself carefully in the space between your wings, resting his head between your horns and hands on your stomach. 

The last you hear before your consciousness fades into an easy slumber is Loki’s soft purrs as he spoons you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions comments concerns!!


	20. 3-4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you and Loki celebrate one of your favorite holidays: Halloween

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I know it’s February but I’m self-indulgent)

**October 31st**

“HALLOWEEN!” You scream as you jump out of bed, the kitten stuffed animal (dubbed Loki-Like) You’re immediately at the closet, pulling on clothes haphazardly. You almost run into your new tree sapling that Loki got you: a beautiful exotic tree from Asgard, that has flowers that expel a sweet scent at night to help you sleep comfortably. She’s been growing extremely quickly under your care and magic.

You’ve named her Sarah. 

You apologize to her as you regain control of the shirt you were wrangling. 

“Miss, why are you so excited?” Jarvis asks nervously. 

“IT'S HALLOWEEN!” You trill. 

“Are you speaking of the holiday where children dress up in costume and go from house to house collecting candies?” 

“Yup! It’s my favorite day of the year,” you exclaim. 

“May I ask why?”

“I can walk around, with no illusions, and no one will notice,” 

A brief silence. 

“You are an Avenger now. You don’t have to use illusions anymore,” Jarvis reminds you quietly. 

You freeze a moment.

“Hmm. I guess you're right,” 

You slowly pull on the shirt. 

“I still love the holiday though! We’re going to go trick or treating with all the kids, and hand out candy, and dress up…” 

“If you are having fun, Miss, I cannot see that it would be a problem,” Jarvis says, in a way that sounds like a chuckle. 

_ Gotta go wake up the rest of the house!  _

You open your own door, and fly down the hallway to Loki’s room. 

You rap excitedly on his door. 

“Who dares disturb my sleep this early…” the door opens to reveal a groggy Loki, his blue eyes barely open.   


Briefly, you remember the loud argument that he’d had with Thor the previous night: Thor had been summoned back to Asgard… and they hadn’t even deigned to mention the God of Lies. Odin seemed fully content to never allow Loki back home. Loki has screamed at Thor for a better part of an hour… Thor couldn’t do anything about it. Loki had rushed to his rooms to sulk… and showed up yours a bit later. He’d asked to snuggle, and you’d easily fallen back asleep after adjusting so Loki could nuzzle into the hallow of your neck. Loki had vanished by morning, Thor long gone to Asgard by then. 

“Well, hello, darling,” Loki regains composure smoothly. 

“Hiya minou!” You grin. He presents his cheek expectantly. You place a chipper kiss on the presented skin. You’re practically jumping out of your skin, you're so excited. 

“What do I owe this morning pleasure?” 

“Loki! It’s Halloween!” 

“Is that supposed to mean something to me?”

You gasp. Loki looks at you confusedly, a smile in place purely because you’re excited and nothing more. 

“Really?” 

“Mhmm,” 

“Do you not have Halloween on Asgard?”

“Can’t say we do. Apologies, dearest,” Loki combs the tangled hair at the nape of his neck awkwardly.

“No, no! That makes it all the more fun!” You assure him. 

“Truly?” 

“Yes! First, Jarvis, mind explaining? I liked your explanation,” 

“Of course. Halloween is a holiday that takes place annually on October 31st, All Hallows’ Eve. It is celebrated in several countries, either a more religious version involving prayer or with a more commercialized version that ordains to trick or treating, costumes, as well as themed parties and films,” Jarvis replies.

“Very in-depth Jarvis. Thank you,” 

“My pleasure, Miss,” 

“So, you wish to celebrate this holiday?” Loki questions. He transforms his pajamas into a more suitable set of clothes: his familiar long green coat, dark leather… a small headband like a version of his horns adorns his head. He motions for you to answer as you stare at him. 

“Well, darling? What will you have me do?” 

_ So eager to please…  _

“We can make haunted houses! And trick or treat. AND SCARES!” 

“This is perfect,” Loki says suavely, already getting seductive, “I’m the Trickster God. And you’re the sweetest treat I’ve ever had the pleasure of devouring,” 

You squeal and smack his shoulder.

“I just mean to insinuate that you’re kind,” he exclaims teasingly.

“That’s not what you were alluding to and you know it!” 

Loki, quick as a snake, darts and embraces you in a fluid motion. He kisses your neck, then nuzzles it. 

“No, it’s not. I was referring to the delicious, delectable…” 

“Don’t finish that sentence,” you groan. 

Loki chuckles darkly, holding your warm body close. 

“Now, let's go see if the others will aid us in our haunting endeavor,” Loki proposes.

“Actually,” you start, dragging your fingers over Loki’s shoulder teasingly. Loki shivers delightedly. “I think I have a better plan,” 

“Does it involve a near unimaginable dose of mischief, dearest?” 

“Of course,” 

~~~~~

_ This plan… this is a good one.  _

You’ve enlisted Loki to help you with a favorite game: spooking the rest of the family. No mean or cruel tricks… just fun or scary ones. And when you get one of the Avengers, they join you in the adventure, in on the plot right away. 

“Who do you want to scare first, my darling?” Loki whispers as you sneak down the hallways. Peeking around the corner, you spot Steve. 

You point discreetly. 

“What shall I do?” 

“I don’t know, but... patriotic. Turn into a dead president, or something?” 

“How very uncreative. I will have to put my own spin on it,” Loki rolls his eyes, but easily shifts into George Washington. He motions for you to cast an illusion to become invisible to the naked eye. 

GW-Loki comically saunters forwards. You watch as Steve’s eyes widen to the size of dinner platters and he stumbles backwards.

“P-President Wash-Washington?” 

“Yes, it is I, the very first president of the nation you call your own. Captain,” GW-Loki salutes Steve. Steve’s literally quaking in his boots, his hand shaky as he returns the salute. 

“H-how is this… possible?” Steve says, his voice high pitched. 

“It is Halloween, is it not?”

“Y-Yes…” Steve murmurs. 

“I have a special honor I would like to bestow upon you, Captain,” GW-Loki purrs, a little bit of Loki shining through the illusion. 

“I w-would be  _ honored  _ sir…” 

Loki nods sagely and moves forward. He stays still for a moment: and then GW-Loki turns into a giant eagle with pitch black eyes. 

Steve screams, and Eagle-Loki screams back. You jump out of the shadows, laughing hysterically. Loki shifts back to his normal form and joins you in laughter. 

“Yeah, yeah, very funny. Happy Halloween you two,” Steve chuckles once he stops hyperventilating. 

“Want to help us get the others, Steve?” You say once you regain your breath.

“This is quite the fun game,” Loki chuckles. 

“Okay, but Tony’s next,” Steve grins. 

“Sounds like a plan,” you smile in response. 

The three of you, thick as thieves, dance to Tony’s workshop where Tony is working on the newest Iron Man suits. 

You shield the three of you from view as you all spy on Tony. He is tinkering with a new Iron Man mask. 

You get a mischievous gleam in your eye as you whisper an idea to Loki. 

“Perfect. You’ve got to help me though, love. I’ve taught you this one,” Loki whispers. 

“What are we doing?” Steve says confusedly. 

“Watch,” you giggle. You silently point for Steve to take out his phone to film.

_ Blackmail,  _ you mouth. Steve winks. 

Loki raises his pointer finger, a green glow encasing it. You mirror the action, but yours is a more bronzy golden hue. 

Loki is able to start levitating the different pieces of armour in the room easily: it takes you a few tries. 

It takes Tony a minute before he notices… but when he does, the reaction is priceless. He falls out of his chair in shock, eyebrows almost at his hairline. 

“WHAT THE FUUUCK?” Tony screams. . 

Loki pitches his voice to a deeper octave, and says :

“Your hubris is your downfall… Staaaark… should have made less things that bare your signature…” 

“JARVIS, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?” 

Tony flails about, a hand gripping his arc reactor, struggling to get up. 

“Sir, I neglected to mention that you have some people at the door…” the computer says slyly.

“Thanks Jarvis!” You chirp, breaking down into laughter. Loki quickly joins in, releasing his seiðr’s control. He squeezes your side for support. 

“You should have seen your face Tony…” Steve wheezes. 

“I regret everything,” Tony sighs, sliding back into his chair. You skip to the back of his chair, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“But don’t you want to help us scare the rest of the team?” You pout. 

“This game was your idea, not Loki’s, wasn’t it,” Tony groans.

“Maybe…” 

“I have a lot of work to do, bird,” Tony bemoans sarcastically. 

“Stop being dramatic Tony! Come on, you have time for a little fun,” Steve teases. 

“You can choose who to spook next…” you singsong. 

“Bruce,” Tony instructs, rising from his chair shakily. 

“Do you-“

“His lab. You better think of something good, Horn Gang,” Tony grumbles. 

You giggle, and link your hand in Loki’s before following after Tony. 

As you follow, Steve showing Tony the video a few steps ahead of you two, Loki leans down to talk to you easier.

“I never took you for a tricky type,” he grins shrewdly. 

“Minou, there’s a lot about me you don’t know. Or that doesn’t come up right away,”

“True, as always. You never cease to amaze me, darling. Just one of many reasons for why I love you so,” 

“You’re making me blush, mon minou,” you smirk. 

“It is the truth,” 

You swing your conjoined hands playfully. 

“I know. I’m very proud of you, Loki. For everything you’ve done to become better,” 

Loki smiles, and closes his eyes as he hums happily. 

“Okay, Bruce is in there, doing sciencey tests,” Tony whispers, turning back to look at the gathered group. He wiggles his fingers spookily. 

“So… how should we scare him?” Steve asks, scratching his head curiously. 

“I have an idea…” you whisper, wings ruffling in excitement. 

You whisper your idea to Loki, who nods.

“That’s perfect. You are supremely good at this little game of yours,” 

You grin like a Cheshire Cat and push Loki forwards. 

Loki focuses his energy on Bruce. The rest of the group watches, enraptured, as Loki transforms Bruce into… Tony. 

“What?” Tony exasperates. Then, as a second thought, “Man, I look  _ great _ ,” 

Bruce catches a glance at his new appearance in the glass table.

“WHAT THE… this can’t be right… how?” Bruce screams. 

He pulls on his face, investigating every inch. 

“JARVIS?” 

“Yes, Mr. Stark,” the computer responds dutifully. You’ve already gotten Jarvis on your side… he seemed to relish the idea of a spot of fun. 

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” 

“Hey! I’m not  _ that  _ bad!” Tony scoffs, walking into the room calmly.

“FIX ME!” Bruce begs. Except, Bruce looks like Tony so… it looks like Tony’s begging. Which is something you’d never thought you’d see. The whole situation, Tony vs Bruce-Tony is incredible. 

“Happy Halloween, Bruce. Do you like your present?” Tony snorts. 

Bruce frantically runs around the lab, looking at screens and sheets of paper. It’s incredibly comical. 

“Okay, Loki. You can free him now,” you giggle. 

“But this is so much fun…” Loki laughs, enjoying the manic movements of the poor scientist. 

“Aww, bud, now we can twin all the time!” Tony laughs. 

“Minou, Tony, as much as you like teasing Bruce… I don’t think that’s…” 

Your sentence is cut short by an angered roar from Bruce-Tony and a rapid transformation into his green counterpart. 

“LEAVE HULK ALONE!” Hulk slams his fists into the table, breaking it into two. Tony slowly backs up.

“Now now, Bruce-“ 

“PUNY BANNER NOT HERE!” Hulk roars. 

Loki very quickly backpedaled out of the room. It is well known that Loki and Hulk should not be in close quarters. Probably because Loki’s still a little shell shocked from the whole… puny god thing. 

A patriotic shield is whipped out in front of you. 

“Get behind me. I’ll block him till we get Nat in here,” Steve says steely. 

You offer Steve a sweet smile. 

“I’ve got this. It’s been a while since I talked with him anyway,” 

“You sure? He’s pretty angry,” 

You laugh. 

“He always is,” 

Loki comes back into the room and grips your arm, trying to lead you out of the room. You brush him off, smiling at him before entering the fray. 

Hulk is breathing heavily, and whips his head to face yours. His malevolent expression fades as he takes in your smiling face. 

“Bird girl,” he grunts. You wave at him.

“Hey there Hulk! It’s good to see you again, big guy. How’s everything?” 

Hulk kicks over a nearby trash can, but is visibly calmer. 

“‘S okay,” 

“Good to hear. Banner treating you well?” 

“Puny Banner!” 

“I know, I know. He really is quite diminutive, isn’t he?” 

Hulk pauses for a moment. 

“Whats that mean?” 

You move your pointer finger and thumb close to each other.

“Small,” you laugh goodnaturedly. You take a few careful steps towards Hulk. 

“Yeah! Banner is very… small. No match for HULK!” 

“No question there, buddy,” you chuckle. A few more steps forward. You only need to be able to touch him, let your healing magic flow through him, and Hulk will calm down enough for the transformation to occur. 

You’re reaching out your hand to touch his shoulder when he grabs your hand suddenly. He doesn’t squeeze it, so you’re not in any pain… but it’s enough to make it impossible for you to lull him back into Banner. 

“You’re gonna make Hulk go away again,” he growls lowly. 

“Yes,” you sigh sadly. 

“You hate Hulk. Hulk scary,” 

“Aww, no,” you murmur, stretching so you can cup his face with your other hand, “I don’t think you’re scary. You’re very nice, Hulk. I think we could be great friends. I’d love to spend some more time with you, but not here. In a place where you have more space, and aren’t running into everything. This lab is Banners space. But, sometime soon, it would be my pleasure to take you to a large field somewhere that we can hang out properly,” you smile at him, and he grins back. 

“With flowers? Hulk like flowers,” 

Tony, begins Steve who is still prepared to pull you away, make a little snorting noise. Hulks brow furrows in anger. You pull his face back to yours. He grunts again. 

“I’d love to go to a flower field, buddy. You ready to go back now?” 

“‘Kay,” 

Hulk lets out a relaxed sigh as you begin using your magic. It takes a large bit of magic out of you, but isn’t that bad. Like exercising a muscle, your endurance has increased exponentially since joining the Avengers. 

Hulk lets go of your hand, and points a large (but getting steadily smaller) finger to your chest.

“Friend,” he grunts. 

“Friends,” you return, smiling wide. 

Bruce shakes off the last of the green tint, holding onto your shoulder.

“Sorry everyone,” he coughs, “nerves and jump scares set off the big guy sometimes. Not to mention that Tony isn’t exactly his favorite person…” 

“Hey!” Tony exclaims, “Rude,” 

“It’s okay, Tony, you’re one of my favorite people,” you say cheerily. Tony rolls his eyes with a smile, mouthing ‘suck up’. 

Then, moving from Bruce and sticking your head out the lab door, you call out that Hulk is gone, and Loki can come back.

“The brute is back inside the doctor?” He yells from the hall. 

“Yes, mon minou. Come in, we’ve got to explain the game to Bruce,” 

~~~~~

Only a few minutes later, the entirety of the assembled gang are sneaking off the scare the hell out of Nat. It’s going to be hard, sure, but Loki is up to the challenge. Currently, he has intertwined his hand in yours as if he wasn’t touching you you’d disappear. 

Once you get to the entrance of the training room, telltale smacking of punching bag resonating out to you, you send in Loki. The plan is to transform into a creature that would be perfect for Nat… 

A giant black widow. 

You watch in amazement as Loki does his work, shifting effortlessly. He’d once said that your magic capabilities rivaled his: looking at this, you seriously doubted it. 

Nat doesn’t get scared: she goes steely eyed and roundhouse kicks the giant spider Loki as it runs at her. Loki immediately shifts back. 

“By the Norns! Woman, you were supposed to be spooked!” He yells, gripping the side of his face as a footprint is already forming. 

“Sorry, Loki,” Nat deadpans, showing that she really wasn’t apologetic at all. Loki hisses at her. You shake your head at him, and dash to his side. The rest of the people are laughing hysterically, 

“Let me see minou,” you tell him, putting your hand on his shoulder. Loki frowns and removes his hand. You inspect it, the bruising forming steadily. 

“I’m going to heal it, chaton. Just tell me when you start to get sleepy, alright?” 

Loki nods pitifully, and you place a hand over his cheek and start healing. Loki’s eyelids flutter closed happily, a small smile appearing. 

“That is good, dearest. Thank you,” he says, after a moment. You stop healing him and brush your hands off on your jeans. 

“Okay, lets go ask Nat who she wants to scare next,” you chirp cheerfully, jumping up on the balls of your feet. Loki’s gaze follows you. You grin at him.

“Come on, Mischief Man. Let’s go,” you offer him a hand helpfully. He takes it, pulling himself up in such a way that Loki now is nearly nose to nose with you. Loki closes the gap easily, his nose brushing yours before he pushes his lips upon yours. You find your arms winding around his neck as Loki’s tongue dips sensually into yours. 

Someone catcalls, and another person wolf-whistles. Loki breaks apart from you, and sneers at them. 

“Can I not kiss my love in peace?” He growls. You giggle, and pull him down by his hair so that you can kiss that delectable mouth once more before trotting off to join the rest of the Avengers. 

“Who’s next?” You say excitedly. 

“I vote for Clint. He’s at the shooting range at this hour, I believe,” Natasha says. You shoot her a thumbs up, and the motley crew begins to move out. You glance behind you, and take notice of Loki’s intense gaze. 

“Come on, minou. This is no fun without you,” you smile at him widely. He appears by your side happily, content to be by your side. Loki’s hand carefully, oh so carefully, embraces yours. Loki’s head seems to drift downwards to rest on your head. 

“Minou, what are you doing?” You laugh. 

“I want… I wanted to touch you,” he whispers. 

“Well, I’m right here. You don’t have to worry,” 

He grumbles something that you don’t catch. Loki’s always holding you, touching you, pulling you into his lap. He seems to adore each and every time he is able to brush his skin against yours. 

“Mon minou… are you touch deprived? Is that why you’re always touching me?” You ask gently, giving him the chance to admit it as you follow a good distance behind the rest of the group. Immediately he stood up straighter, taking his hand out of yours and holding his head up. 

“No, of course not. I am a Prince. If I needed touch I would simply ask for it, and it would be done,” he snorts. You look up at him sadly. He pretends not to notice. 

“You’re lying, minou. It’s okay, I don’t mind,” 

“Truly?” Loki murmurs, looking down at you. His eyes are desperate, displaying an entirely different message than what he had been saying. You take his hand in yours cheerfully. 

“No. It’s actually really nice. You have nice hands,” you say, all of a sudden flustered. Loki’s brows furrow delicately. He looks to his hands, as if noticing them for the first time. He clenches and unclenches them, watching his hands move elegantly. 

“That is true. I have very beautiful hands,” he agrees cockily. You laugh, and Loki’s mouth is on yours in seconds. He kisses you hungrily, lips moving together sloppily. You pull back as his hand goes around your waist. 

“What was that for?” You ask cheekily. 

“I… I like your laugh. I wish to eat that delicious noise, keep it in my heart in a locked box. I never want to be without your laugh, my dearest darling,” he admits roughly. You look at him, a small smile on your face. Taking his hand in yours you restate the original question. 

“Minou, the touching?” 

“Hmm. I presume so. I went a great many years without any sort of love or true affections. You are… you’re… everything,” 

_ Aww, minou.  _

It is silent for a few moments, save for the boisterous noises from Tony and such above you. You don’t feel the need to listen in, content in Loki’s company. Suddenly, Loki’s attention is back on you. 

“And I can glean that the reason that I do it in front of the others,” he spins you quickly in the hallway, “is because I need to show them that you. Are.  _ Mine _ .” 

Your heart stops for a moment, staggering as Loki catches you from the spin. He pulls you in close. His hands explore your back, one dipping into your shirt and the other gripping your ass. 

“Loki!” You exclaim loudly in surprise, face flushing rapidly. The others are certainly gaping at Loki and you in the hallway, their footsteps having stopped. His head dives to your neck, and Loki quickly gets to work biting and sucking on the pressure point there. 

“Fuck, Loki, what are you doing?” You hiss, struggling in his steel like grasp. 

“They need to see. They need to see that you’re mine. My little bird, my own maiden. Oh how I wish to hide you away, keep you away from everyone… my darling in my house… I'd make sure you were so comfortable… treat you like the queen you are,” he murmurs. It is common knowledge that Loki has a jealous as well as possessive streak… but this? Not. Gonna. Fly. 

“Loki, I don’t know what brought this on, but you let go of me right now… no kisses. For the next week. I don’t like this, not in front of our friends,” you growl. Loki’s head whips up, his expression one of shock. He quickly backtracks, arms releasing. 

“I apologize. I got a bit possessive. I-I am going to be right back. I’ll meet you at the shooting range,” he stammers, glancing at the slack jawed Avengers. Loki then teleports. 

“Woah, what was that, kid?” Tony chokes out. 

You look away, still irked at Loki’s behavior.

“Loki got defensive, thought he had to show everyone that… that he and I are dating,” you settle on. 

“What?” You say unsuredly, aware that the rest of the team is watching you carefully. A few of them glare at Tony. 

“I may… have made a comment…” Tony says fearfully. 

“What did you say?” You sigh frustratedly, pinching the bridge of your nose. Tony mumbles something under his breath. Steve translates. 

“That if Loki was having such a great time with you, that Tony should try you out,” 

“Eww,” you say, grossed out. 

“Oi! What’s that for?!” Tony says, indignant. 

“You’re like… my dad. Or at the very least, an eccentric uncle type,” you’re completely nauseated by this idea that you’d ever have a relationship with Tony. Tony immediately brightens, then darkens, then brightens again. 

“I’m like a dad! Oh, fuck, I’m like a dad. But, I’m like a dad!” He thinks aloud, already moving down the last bit of hallway to the shooting range. Steve leans conspiratorially over to you. 

“I think you broke him,” Steve stage whispers. You giggle. It’s only a few more minutes before you reach the shooting range. Loki is waiting by the door, inspecting his nails. He nods to everyone. 

“Well, what is the plan, Y/N?” He says smoothly. You gasp involuntarily. 

_ Loki never ever ever calls me by name. It’s always some endearment.  _

The rest of the team seems to take notice, and they look uncomfortable. 

“Um… I don’t know… make it so all his arrows miss?” You suggest weakly.  _ Is this it? Is he done with me?  _

“That is a fantastic idea. Let’s get to it,” He agrees. You can feel the absence of ‘darling’ and ‘dearest’. A small death, but one you mourn deeply. 

“Okay,” you whimper. Loki swallows thickly and his hands twitch. You start to head toward the door solemnly.  _ I’m not going to make the first move.  _

“Fuck, you’re thick,” Tony says suddenly. Bruce coughs nervously. 

“Excuse me?” Loki snarls.

“She doesn’t not want you anymore, numbskull. Our own little Fae is a bit shy. Of course she didn’t want to make out with you in a hallway full of people she considers to be family! Would you make out with her in front of Odin or Frigga? She clearly cares about you! And by the way,  _ it was a joke _ ! You’d think the God of Mischief would be more knowledgeable about that sort of thing. Or you’re just sensitive when it comes to romance, lover boy,” Tony says rather quickly. Loki’s jaw works, and he turns to you. 

“For once, Stark provides the correct point of view. I am sorry, dearest. I overreacted. Forgive me, in my endless foolishness whilst in love?” He apologizes playfully, silver tongue at work. You grin mirthfully. 

“Of course, minou. I knew you’d get over yourself soon enough,” you kiss his cheek sweetly. Some Avengers make grossed out noises and others aww. 

“I did a good Dad move?” Tony asks hopefully. 

“Yep!” You beam wrapping him in a patented Fae hug, and then motioning for everyone to continue with the plan. 

You silently open the door, and everyone peers inside. Clint is humming along to music in his headphones while shooting arrows at rotating targets. He doesn’t even seem to have to pay attention to them, and is still able to hit the bullseye. You cue Loki. 

He slinks inside silently, with you covering him with an illusion easily. The next time Clint nocks an arrow and shoots it, Loki deflects it from the target. Clint hears it clatter, and takes off his headphones. 

“What the…” he starts. Very quickly, Clint nocks and shoots another arrow at the targets. Loki deflects it again. The rest of the team, hiding behind you and your illusions, begins to snicker. 

“WHAT IS HAPPENING!” Clint screams shrilly. In rapid succession, Clint shoots several more arrows. Loki makes all of them miss. 

“NOOOOO!” Clint yells, cursing the world, “this is, like, MY THING.” There is full out hysteria from the rest of the Avengers. Very cleverly, Loki shifts the fallen arrows into snakes with a flick of his hand. Clint jumps, screaming as he runs away from the snakes. You strip the illusion, and Clint sees Loki and the rest of you. He falls to the ground dramatically. 

“That was a horrible prank. I’m going to get you back for that,” he gasps out. The snakes combine into one, and Loki picks it up. It curls around his forearm contently. 

“Pretty snake, mon minou,” you point out as the rest of the Avengers help up Clint. They're boisterous as they leave, presumably towards the living room. 

Loki holds his snake laden arm out to you, a silent offering. You smile excitedly and extend your arm. The snake adorning Loki’s happily slithers to your arm. 

You walk away from Loki, cooing at the snake. It seems to enjoy the attention very much, letting you pet its head. It rests its body on your arm. You look to Loki, and your face shines in joy. 

“I made a new friend,” you laugh happily. Loki smiles at you widely, no smirk in sight. 

“Keep it,” he says. 

“Yay! He can live on Sarah! And I’ll feed him, and get him his on little home, oh it’s going to be wonderful...” 

Loki watches you with a dreamy expression as you shower affection on the snake. 

“Darling?” 

“Yes?” 

“I love you indefinitely,” 

You turn to him. He stares at you intently, gauging your reaction. You press a kiss to his lips, and Loki sighs deeply. 

“Let’s go put Frank in his new home, and then watch a horror movie or something… I’m all tired out from pranking everyone,” you yawn a bit. Loki nods slowly, following behind you as you set Frank down in your room, which is only a few floors away from the shooting range. 

As you exit your room, you can’t help but notice Loki’s trying to say something. 

“Spit it out, minou,” you say cheekily. 

“I-I just… I want…” 

“Yes?” 

“I’m sorry. Again. I’m no good at this,” he mopes. You turn to him and cup your hands on his face. 

“But you’re trying, Loki. That makes all the difference. I’ll keep trying if you keep trying, okay?” 

Loki leans forwards in your hands, so that you’re forced to hold him. His arms wrap around your waist and his head rests on your shoulder. 

“Thank you for being so patient with me,” he says quietly. 

“Hey guys!! We’re waiting for you two!! Stop making out!” Clint calls out from the elevator.

_ Aww, they waited!  _

Loki rolls his eyes, and his face sets in the usual bemused expression. You hold his hand as you skip to the elevator and to the living room to watch some kind of horror flick. Loki squeezes your hand the whole time, his nimble fingers rubbing your skin absentmindedly. 

“What are we watching?” You ask of the Avengers settled on the arranged couches and chairs around the television. 

“I suggested the movie the Shining, based off of reviews and popularity,” Jarvis notes. 

“That sounds perfect, Jarvis. Thank you,” you grin at the ceiling. With a click, the computer turns on the movie. You take the last spot on the couch, and Loki sighs… there is no space left for him. He decides to settle between your feet. 

As the movie plays, you finger Loki’s hair. It’s so soft when he doesn’t oil it back, and so long. He removes the gold headband he’d been wearing so you can have better access. The rest of the Avengers politely ignore the purrs that Loki emits in response to your touches. Tony, blessedly, makes no comment. 

“Can I braid your hair, mon minou?” You whisper, as to not disturb the people assembled more. Loki hums his consent. You take to the task happily, not even pretending to pay attention to the movie. 

As Jack falls deeper and deeper into madness in the movie, you notice Loki getting very uncomfortable. He twitches, and grabs onto your foot. 

“Loki, what’s the matter?” He looks to you gratefully. 

“Can we change the play? I do not like this one. It is… disturbing.” 

“Chaton, it’s supposed to be scary,” 

Loki jumps up, mumbling excuses to the indignant Avengers behind a hand that he clamps around his mouth, yanking you away from the living room. He pushes you up against a wall in the nearby hallway. 

“I do not like the film, as it reminds me of myself, vixen,” he growls. 

“What?” 

“I have never told a soul about the atrocities committed against me while those who shall not be named attempted to attack and harness my mind. But… for me… it felt like that…” he waves his hand in the air, searching for the word. 

“Like you were going insane?” 

“Yes,” Loki whispers, knowing there was no reason to lie. The arms that had been caging you in previously go lax, and you catch Loki as he falls into you. The messy braid that you’d made in his hair flaps onto your shoulders. You hold him, hushing this man who is considerably larger than you are, as you rub his back like a child. 

“We can watch another movie, mon minou. I’m sure no one would mind,” 

“Are you certain?” 

You make a popping noise with your mouth. 

“No. But I don’t care. If they want to keep watching it then we can go to my room and watch something else,” you reassure him. Loki nods slowly, pulling back from your embrace unhappily. You watch as the moonlight from the nearby window plays off of his skin beautifully. It catches in his eyes, offering a mysterious flash in the ice blue. Your kitten. 

It still amazes you, after several months of ‘courting’, that Loki is even more gorgeous than when you first lay eyes on him. How is that possible? How is it possible that he likes  _ you _ ? Why does he ensure that when he’s with you, he’s courteous and flirtatious and  _ kind _ and protective and sweet and…

“Love?” 

“Huh?” You are pulled from your romanticizing thoughts with a timid comment from the same man you were daydreaming about. 

“Can you… ask them for me?” 

“Sure,” you exhale heavily, a friendly expression already appearing on your features. Loki’s eyes glint thankfully. You trot back out to the living room, clearing your throat. 

“Ya know, Fae, I didn’t think that The Shining would turn you two on… but whatever. Maybe homicidal maniacs make the Noodle horny,” Tony guffaws. Loki simpers behind you, rage expelling from his form. It is tangible, an electric buzz entering the room. It may be your imagination, but the room seems to drop at least 5 degrees. 

“Tony, this is an intervention. It isn’t healthy for a person to have that level of pure asshat sass,” the entire team breaks out into laughter, drowning out the movie and the nerves. “And no, we just had to step out for a second. Can we change the movie? This one isn’t sitting with me right,” you say easily, hands on your hips. Tony starts to protest, but Bruce is already picking up the remote. 

“Yeah, sure. I don’t really like this one either. It.. strikes a little close to home for me. You know, with the raging other guy,” Bruce agrees. The Avengers settle back into the easy calm they’d been experiencing before. You grin at Loki, pleased with your work. He inclined his head gratefully. You drag him over to your seat, pushing him down into it before hopping on his lap. He makes a surprised mew. 

“I was overheating,” you shrug as a way of explanation. Loki shifts you in his lap so that you can watch the new movie, Hocus Pocus (a much more family fun movie that’s more silly then scary), and so he isn’t being whipped in the face with your wings. You snuggle in closer, and he purrs softly as his arms wrap around you. A delicate kiss is planted behind your ear. 

“Thank you, dearest,” he whispers, a voice no one but you can hear. 

“You can pay me back by cooling me down. I wasn’t joking about the overheating,” you smile kindly. So Loki pulls you closer, discreetly getting rid of his shirt so that you can be directly on his skin. No one notices, your wings hiding the largest portion of the chest that you have now claimed as your own. You hum in appreciation as just his chest shifts into Jotun form so that he can effectively cool you better. 

So, that’s how the rest of the best Halloween went. You, at some point, had dozed off on Loki’s chest. Loki was enjoying your warmth, and didn’t move until he was absolutely sure that you were completely clonked out. Then he says goodbyes for the both of you, and tucks you in. 

“Loki…” he hears you murmur drowsily from your bedside.

“Dearest, you’re supposed to be sleeping,” 

“I am…” 

Loki snorts. 

“Stay?” you say, a groggy question. Loki’s heart melts. Everything… all the walls, the hate, the fear… it just melts into nothing with one sleepy request. She’s asked him to stay before: but it’s never been completely of her own accord. 

“As you wish. Whatever you wish,” he speaks, already shifting into the underclothes you know you like (because it’s just bottoms, obviously.Your infatuation with his chest is not unknown. Same goes for the eyes and cheekbones. He makes sure to shave well so that you won’t have any issues running your hands over them).

Loki practically runs to the bed. He invites himself beneath the covers and you take to him blindly, grunting in favor when you’re able to find the perfect spot on his chilled chest. By their own accord, your wings circle around his cold body, forcing him to stay close. Loki brushes your hair through his fingers to lull you back into sleep. 

He doesn’t worry about sleeping himself. 

He’ll fall asleep easily, to the majestic image of your open, opulent, sleeping face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns! 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and staying with this story. It means more than you can imagine.


	21. 3-5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the reader wants to play another prank.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haaaaaaad to write a Lady Loki chapter. So, if you don’t want any of that, please, wait till next week. 
> 
> Otherwise, enjoy!! ;)

**November 12th**

“Minou?” You ask carefully, the door to Loki’s room swinging open slightly under your fingertips. It’s quite early, just short of 6am on a Saturday, which usually is diabolical but you’ve got the most _amazing_ prank in mind. It has to be done before the others wake up (Nat and Clint sleep in on Sunday’s as they are normal people). 

“Okay, I’m coming in,” you whisper. The large green bed is empty, sheets impeccable. So he’s awake… but where? _This is feeling more and more like a scavenger hunt._

This is the first time you’ve really seen his room… as the only other time you were truly in this space you were a little preoccupied _with having Loki’s head between your legs._ The thought gives you delightful shivers down your wings. You ruffle them as you peruse the rest of his quarters. The walk in closet, the bathroom… There’s a small door that is an Asgardian seeming style. _Must have been something Loki added himself._ You look inside. 

It’s a little kitchenette, complete with a small wood burning oven and a full tea set. _Mon minou drinks tea? Eh. Seems the type._ It produces a small dreamy smile on your face. Although you know so much more than you knew months ago about the mysterious Asgardian/Jotun/Cat that can only be known as _Loki_ , there’s still so much to learn. You pick up a grunt from a nearby room. _Found him._

You sneak over to the room where you hear the noises, planning to surprise him innocently. The image you get when you approach the open door to be the bathroom is anything but innocent. 

**~sex here. I’ll let you know if when we’re done if you’d like to skip~**

Loki is only wearing a loose shirt, and he grips his cock in one hand. He’s bucking his hips into his hand, barely muffled groans escaping him. His cock is red and leaking, amazingly hard. You seem to catch your name. Loki rubs against his hand desperately, clearly seeking some sort of release. You should walk away! Let him finish alone! But that image of him is so enticingly sinful, especially since he’s very obviously masturbating to your own image.

You watch in awe as he takes something from his other hand and holds it over his nose as he calls out your name. Upon further inspection… it’s _your_ underwear. The ones you’d thought you’d lost after your first time with Loki… ones that it appears he kept so that he could fulfill his sexual desires without your physical presence. You watch as he moans and groans, clearly coming close to the apex of his pleasure as he ruts against his hand quicker, exchanging it for the one that holds your panties. 

“O-oh darling… you’re so good to me… letting me fill you all up…” he groans. The sentence is startling enough that you fall backwards. Which would have been fine… if not for your wings knocking over a nearby lamp. You catch it and set it upright instantly, but the damage has been done. 

“Dearest? Is-is that you? I-I didn’t hear you come in…” he pants, still all wound up. His eyes are dilated as he looks to you. You shiver. 

“Y-yeah… I didn’t get an answer so I thought it was okay… I’ll just go… I can talk to you later…” 

“No!” Loki growls out. He creeps towards you, his cock still desperately red and bobbing in the air. You bite your lip. “Isn’t it already so enticing that you’ve caught me, vixen? Do you want to help your beloved with this one, minuscule, act?” He says darkly. You gulp, and then run your eyes up and down his form. He’s completely serious: Loki wants you to jerk him off. He approaches even closer, his expression predatory. 

“Come on then, get on with it, darling. I know you’ll be simply… divine,” Loki purrs. You _know_ you should walk away and he’d get over himself and nothing will really change… but oh god it’s so alluring. So what do you do? You blush and look up at him shyly. 

“You’re… going to have to tell me how,” 

“Never coaxed a man before?” He asks slyly, slowly moving your hand to his manhood. You shake your head. Your eyes shoot down to where your hand now touches his cock. You’ve never done this before, a blushing virgin in all senses but literally. The minute you caress it, Loki exhales a loud breath and inserts it deeper into your hand. He pushes you to your knees so that you have better access. 

“Yes! Yes! Just move… your hand… up and down. Play with me, darling, do what you want,” he gasps needily. His cock twitches in your hand, jumping into it. Taking this as a command to start, you begin to slide your hand slowly from the base to tip. He’s quite long, so it takes a second. 

“Oh, yes, dearest, go a touch faster please,” Loki moans. His legs part a little more to give you more access, and Loki leans onto a nearby wall for support. Encouraged by Loki, you pick up the pace. Loki makes more guttural sounds of desire and enjoyment in response. You experimentally graze your finger over the slit at the head of his cock. 

The barely muffled scream of bliss sets your heart on fire. He begins to grind his hips into your hand, unable to hold back. You match his pace, increasing steadily as you run your hand from base to tip of his dick over and over. The moans continue, mixed with garbled words splattered throughout. Things like “Oh, Norns, yes, just like that,” “You’re so good at getting me off,” “Darling, dearest, Darling,” 

You preen at his praise, and reward him in turn with a fondle of his balls. He yelps, and gasps in delight. You return to his cock, pumping it harder, intent on getting him to cum. Loki’s hips rock into your hand wildly. 

“Dar-darling… I’m going to… gonna…” he sobs out, overstimulated. 

“Loki, come on, cum for me,” you encourage him, well past the point of shyness. Wanting to attempt something, you grip his dick harder your nails going in lightly. Loki’s eyes rolls back in his head, moaning loudly. 

“YES! Yes yes yes, I’m going to cum going to cum, please,” Loki moans. 

_So he likes… pain? During sex? Good to know._ You stop for a moment, and Loki pulls on one of your horns to get you to keep going. You repeat the motions you’ve been doing before, and it makes quick work of Loki. 

Loki whines, bucking into your hand one final time before cumming all over your hand and forearm. Loki collapses bonelessly on your form as he pants out the rest of his orgasm. You pull him in close, playing with his hair as he shifts into a better, bottoms included, outfit and cleaning you of his cum. 

“Soooo… I did good?” You ask innocently. 

“Oooh, too good. I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t just keep you in my room forever, shackle you to my leg so that you can just fuck me endlessly. Perhaps use that sweet smiling mouth of yours,” he murmurs seductively. 

“I-I-“ 

“You needn’t worry, my sweet. I was only joking. ...Partially. And now,” he separates from you, helping you up. The recovery of this man after he’d just been groaning in the heat of sexual desire is absolutely insane. “You have need of me? Do you wish for me to assist you as well?” 

**~and back to your regularly scheduled programming~**

“Yes… now what did I come here to ask you for…” you can barely remember at this point: an immortal shoving his cock in your face will do that. Loki’s fingers inch towards your yoga pants slowly. You interrupt him, swatting his hand away “Oh! I had an idea. For a prank.” 

He’s still staring at your crotch, and you snap your fingers. _No thank you._ He nods in understanding, only wanting to repay the favor. 

“Well, I simply must hear this,” 

“Okay,” a bright, mischievous, smile erupts onto your face. Loki returns it excitedly, more than a dash of dark sneaky energy in there. 

“I’m thinking ‘body swap’,” 

Loki’s face glows. 

~~~~~ 

You sip a flavored Earl Grey tea nonchalantly, a full hour after you and Loki had established your plan, at the kitchen bar. It took a while to execute, loads of magic, as well as a ludicrous amount of cleverness. But oh god, it’s going to be worth it. 

“More tea, darling?” Loki asks suavely. He holds the pot of tea in one hand elegantly, a beautiful tea cozy adorning it. You’d asked him about it midway of moving Bruce into Thor’s room… Loki was ecstatic to share something he enjoyed with you. You’ve never really been a tea person: but somehow Loki’s tea tastes like he put crack in it. Maybe he did put Asgardian crack in it… you’re pulled from your thoughts as the first Avenger (read, victim) stumbles in. 

On the outside, it appears to be Tony. But, ‘Tony’ speaks in quite a different voice: Clint’s, to be exact. 

“Okay, I don’t know what you guys did, but this is…” Clint/Tony waves his hands in the air in front of his body, “spectacular.” You giggle, unable to keep up the innocent ruse that Loki is excelling at.

“JARVIS?” Clint/Tony imitates, puffing out his chest and trying to radiate the same amount of arrogance Tony possesses. 

“Yes, Mr. Stark,” the AI sighs. You’ve already outlined the details of your plan to him, so Jarvis knows of the mischief you and Loki have caused so he can act accordingly. 

“Buy a zoo in my honor! Call the last sixteen women I’ve slept with! Wait, how much money do I have again?” 

“Several billion dollars in several different accounts, sir,” Jarvis explains. You have to stifle another laugh… it sounds like if Jarvis has a physical form he’d be rubbing his temples. 

“WOOOO!” Clint/Tony yells, finding the whole experience of being the billionaire philanthropist Tony Stark for a day to be almost too much fun. He excuses himself, claiming that he’s going to ‘go out’. You can’t imagine what havoc a Clint/Tony will wreck in the big city. 

You flash a smile at Loki, which he returns shrewdly. He approaches you sweetly, gripping your hips comfortingly. A kiss is placed on the pulse point on your neck.

“This is already proving to be a delightful plan, dearest,” he murmurs, “but… ah, never mind it,” 

You turn in your chair to face Loki. He looks away bashfully. _I’ve never known minou to be shy._

“What is it?” You inquire, reaching a hand up to cup his face. He seems to be about to answer, mouth ajar, when the next victim comes stumbling downstairs. You mouth to him: ‘I’ll get it out of you later’ parried with a poke between the ribs. Loki’s already glancing at the next target. 

It’s Tony… or who you know to be Tony. Actually, visibly at least, it’s Steve. Tony/Steve. 

“I know the two of you did this to me,” he says, hands on hips. You sip your tea nonchalantly, swiftly fitting into a matching Trickster role to complement Loki. It’s easier when doing it against playboy Tony. 

“So?” 

Tony/Steve splutters in response, “Well, I… this is so strange.” He pulls at his skin, the undershirt, and long pajama pants that Steve is wearing. He pulls open Steve’s pants, and looks down. A smirk appears on his face as Tony/Steve pulls the pants back up contently. 

“Hmm, it appears that the serum didn’t make just Good Ol’ Captain’s scrawny limbs bigger,” Tony/Steve snorts. You nearly spit out your drink, and Loki grips on to your shoulders to stop from completely breaking down into hysterics. 

“Of course… *wheeze* that’s the first thing you think of, Stark,” Loki shakes with the rumbling laughs that resonate through his body. You can feel Loki’s laughs travel through your limbs as well, and it’s an odd but delightful feeling. 

“Well, wouldn’t you?” Tony/Stark shoots back, a very-Tony-like gleam in Steve’s usually kind eyes. _Okay. This one was a mistake. Never put Tony in Steve’s body. Too weird._

“Actually,” Loki preens, “I am quite gifted in that department already. Darling, tell him.” 

“No no no. I am _not_ having this conversation with you two,” you groan. Even if Tony is in someone else’s body, the two of them still quarrel. 

Thankfully, you’re saved from this terrible conversation by a crazed form practically tumbling out of the nearby elevator. 

“WHAT IS HAPPENING!!” They scream shrilly. Upon closer inspection, it’s Bruce. Or Steve/Bruce. He flails about on the floor. 

“Um, Steve?” You ask fearfully. His head whips to you from the ground.

“YOU RECOGNIZE ME?” Steve/Bruce squeals high-pitched. Loki snorts haughtily as you smile kindly at Steve/Bruce and walk to his side, leaving the tea with Loki. 

“Of course. Why are you so upset? You like Bruce!” You remind him. Steve/Bruce groans.

“IT'S LIKE I’M PRE-SERUM AGAIN! BACK TO SQUARE ONE!” He yells. You can’t hide your laughter any longer, and chortle as you help him up. 

“STOP LAUGHING AT ME!” Steve/Bruce’s voice cracks mid sentence, and it causes everyone in the room to laugh harder. Steve/Bruce turns to Tony/Steve. His jaw hits the ground. 

“That’s my body!” Steve says astutely. 

“Yup. Now I get to be the big boy in blue tights. Imma go change into the tightest clothes you have, Cappo. Gotta show off these bad boys,” Tony/Steve snickers, patting his chest, as he waltzes out of the room, presumably to check out Steve’s clothes. Steve/Bruce drags his hands down his face exasperatedly. He plops into a chair. 

“I don’t know how I’ll survive this,” he bemoans. Loki tuts. 

“The famed Captain America’s final stand. How dreadful,” he teases. Steve/Bruce glares at him halfheartedly. You pat his shoulder and then return to nursing your cup of tea, awaiting the arrival of the next guest. You don’t have to wait long before they arrive. 

“GOOD MORN, YOU COMMON FOLK!” A boisterous voice announces. You cast a confused glance towards Loki: it sounds exactly like Thor. With Thor’s new vocal cords, he should _not_ be able to do that. Loki shrugs. 

Thor’s body peeks out from the stairs. 

“How was my Thor impression, everyone?” Bruce/Thor asks, flexing his muscles dramatically. He pokes a bicep, looks at you and Loki with a huge smile. 

“So weird, muscular like Hulk but still PhD scientist Bruce. I could rule the world like this,” he muses playfully. Brushing past you, he grabs the usual Thor snack: frozen pop tart. Loki cocks an eyebrow at him curiously. Bruce/Thor shrugs, taking a bite. 

“Playing the part,” he answers the silent question, “I took Theatre a couple years in college in between classes for some arts credits. They said to imagine yourself in the character's shoes. Never thought about it literally though.” 

“Glad you’re having a fun time,” Steve/Bruce complains from the couch. Bruce/Thor snorts, and claps him on the back quite hard, enough for Steve/Bruce to fall off the couch. 

“Sorry, Stevie. You got screwed by the system,” he smiles. Loki offers a smirk to Steve/Bruce in response to his glare (it’s muffled by Bruce’s sweet face). A strange expression appears on Bruce/Thor’s face. He extends a hand dramatically.

“Come to me!” He yells. 

Nothing happens. 

The motion is repeated. 

“Uh… Bruce, what are you doing?” You ask worriedly. _Hopefully, the swap didn’t cause brain damage._

“He’s trying to call Mjölnir to him,” Loki answers helpfully, “But it will not work, as he is-“ 

“NOT WORTHY!” A loud voice announces. You cast a knowing glance to Loki. 

Natasha’s slim form sways into view, Mjölnir thrown easily over her shoulder. Thor/Natasha, wearing Nat’s normal bodysuit. Bruce/Thor gapes at Thor and, unable to deal with seeing the body of the woman he obviously has a crush on inhabited by the man whose body he’s squatting in, excuses himself and goes elsewhere. Steve/Bruce is still on the couch, watching television to attempt and ignore the weakness he feels. You feel a little bit bad. But only a little. Humility is good. 

“I must say, Brother, that this is a trick I have missed from childhood. And Lady Natasha’s form is incredibly well maintained! Nothing like she who you shifted me into,” Thor/Natasha chirps happily, grabbing a frozen pop tart as he walks past you. You give Loki another look: _have you done this before?_ He seems to be about to answer when the last person arrives. 

“Okay, Clint, I’ve taken four showers and still smell bad. What the heck did you do to this thing?” 

Finally: Nat/Clint. She does a double take at her body holding Mjölnir and happily eating a pop tart. 

“You better be planning on working that sugary treat off later, Thor,” she accuses. It’s very odd to see what appears to be Clint ( _the_ unhealthiest person, with the exception of Tony and his near religious devotion to alcohol) lecturing what appears to be Nat (one of the healthiest people in the Tower) about eating choices. Also, that Nat/Clint can guess who is in who’s body. 

“You seem to not have much trouble to be imprisoned in the arrowsmiths body, Widow,” Loki notes. 

“Eh, spend enough time with this guy anyways. The smell, though, is a problem. It. Will. Not. Go. Away,” she says angrily, pulling at the shirt Nat/Clint had donned. Giving up, she sighs, and decides to take a walk. Now that everyone has been settled, you can finally take a breath and enjoy the beautiful complexities of this prank. 

“We did good, minou. We did good,” you sigh contently, taking another sip of the tea. Loki follows the motion. 

“Now. Have you done this to Thor before?” You demand. Loki shakes his head goodnaturedly as he sits beside you to explain. 

“You are aware that I have conducted a litany of tricks upon my brother over the years, yes?” 

“Of course. I heard about the snake one where you stabbed him, the frog one where you almost stabbed him, and the one with the Mindless One where you stabbed him,” you list off. When you say Mindless, Loki’s eyes narrow and a soft hiss escapes him. You rub his clothed knee comfortingly, instructing him to continue.

“Mhmm. One of these countless acts of mischief was when I shifted him to female form. It occurred after one too many instances of he and his friends poking fun at my own female form that I’d slip into on occasions where Odin was absent,” he explains carefully, watching your expression to gauge your reaction. 

“You’re gender fluid?” You affirm. 

“Yes…” he answers slowly. You nod, and brace your elbows on your knees for the duration of the story. Loki looks taken aback.

“Wait, is that it?” You ask confusedly. 

“‘Is that it’? This honestly means so little to you? You do not care if I feel as if some days I wish to rid myself of my male form?” He exclaims, incredulous. You shrug. 

“Yeah, I don’t mind. It’s still mon minou, either way right?” 

“Y-yes… I presume so,” he sputters. You finish your tea and place your tea cup on the tray that accompanies the tea kettle, grinning at Loki. He still seems to be trying to come to terms with your total calmness about the subject of gender. You move closer to his side to plant a kiss on his cheek. 

“Would you mind if I shift?” He questions. 

“Sure! We talking about Jotun, Lokitty, or Female? Or something else?” You say easily, flicking a speck of dust off of the lapels of Loki’s long jacket. 

“Female,” 

“Alrighty then,” you agree. Watching enraptured, you observe Loki’s green hued shift into a woman. Still, it takes your breath away. She’s so gorgeous, a part of you wants you to feel jealous. You push it down quickly though, for two reasons: first, Loki’s looking at you expectantly for your reaction, and second, _you’re dating this woman._ It makes no sense to be jealous of someone who’s already yours. And who already believes that, if what Loki says is true, you are the most heavenly thing to ever cross her path. 

“Aww, minou, you’re so beautiful. I’m almost jealous,” you say aloud, knowing Lady Loki will preen under the praise. She does, and blushes daintily. When she speaks, it’s almost exactly the same tone as Loki as a male just slightly higher and musical. 

“Truly?” 

“Mmhm,” you hum, kissing her on the lips chastely. She wraps her long arms around you, dances her fingers down your back. Lady Loki has long nails, and it’s an experience you’d never thought you’d have running down your spine but not altogether bad. Also, something you hadn’t thought about: Lady Loki has breasts. Very sexy. Loki, is still sexy, but does not have boobs. It changes the hug slightly, but you try to pay it no mind. She brings her hands back to your front, smiling like a goddess, and brushes back your hair. You investigate her nails closer. They really are exquisite.

“Minou, did you do this?” 

“Yes. Do you like them?” 

“Too much! Can you do me?” 

Lady Loki offers a lopsided smile and nod, and teleports you both back to her room. She rummages through some cabinets in the bedroom and produces a ludicrously large container of nail polishes of varying colours. Mostly greens and blacks and golds, but some others. You sit on the bed, and await Lady Loki’s start on the hands. She begins using magic to hold up certain nail tools to help with the process. 

“Minou, you have so many colours! And I can already tell you’re very good at it. Why don’t you do it more often?” 

“Well, darling, I do it quite often. But I usually take it off before anyone sees,” she responds as she files the end of your nails. 

“Why? You work so hard on it…” 

“Yes, but it is frowned upon for a man to have such things. And you recieve many strange looks,” 

“Surely that doesn’t matter to the illustrious Loki?” She laughs in response. Your heart stops beating for a second. If there’s one thing you absolutely love even more with Lady Loki versus Loki it’s not the nails, or the even longer luxurious hair, or even how hot she is (Loki’s hot as sin too). It’s her laughter, that sounds like crystals and bells and beauty. 

“You have a beautiful laugh, Loki,” you whisper, looking up at her bashfully. 

“Why… thank you, dearest. It’s still a shock to me that you enjoy this form just as much as the others,” Lady Loki says elegantly, with no lack of cheer in it. 

“Well, I enjoy them in different ways. In my head, they’re just different aspects of you, and I love the different aspects differently. Does that make any sense?” 

“Of course. I understand completely, love,” 

And you know, in that moment of quiet, that Loki does. 

~~~~~

Soon enough, everyone’s returned to the living room. You’ve already threatened everyone that if they make one off comment about Lady Loki you’ll drop them from the sky. Or curse them somehow. It was enough, and Lady Loki’s delicate features stretch into a sweet smile. 

It’s reminiscent of Halloween, except everyone is body swapped and you’re sitting between Lady Loki’s knees as she braids your hair and Bruce/Thor is in between yours as you French braid Thor’s hair. Something he could never stay still long enough to do (who now claims that when he’s back in his body you can do it anytime you’d like, seeing how happy his brother/sister is that this is happening) but Bruce is tickled pink for you to do it. It’s your turn again to choose the film, so you ask to have a Star Wars Marathon. By the time of release, of course.

You’re able to get through the first two in the living room: but after letting it slip that the complicated mix of Asgardian and Fae magic woven into the body switching spells would wear off as soon as they fell asleep, a sizable amount of the Avengers leave to return to their bodies. 

Primarily, Steve/Bruce who couldn’t be more ecstatic with the news that he can get his own muscular body back, Clint/Tony who found out that Tony’s life isn’t just spending money willy nilly, Nat/Clint who after over twenty showers couldn’t get out the stink she only smelt (it was, according to Clint, actually just his nose being sensitive), and Thor/Nat, who was genuinely just tired as he was not used to the Midgardian exhaustion after working out. 

So there you are, happily braiding Lady Loki’s hair next to her with Bruce/Thor and Tony/Steve sitting on the couch. It’s already 2am, but you’re on the last one in the originals and don’t want to stop now. Bruce/Thor and Tony/Steve are both dozing off: you watch the enchantments evaporate. A hand reaches and brushes your wrist. 

“Darling? May I ask you a question?”

“Sure,” you say quietly, immersed in the task of braiding Lady Loki’s long locks. 

“Are we watching this movie because my own character is reminiscent of that of Anakin?” She sounds distraught. 

“Why would you think that, mon minou?” 

“We both started out pure, with hope. I was supposed to be the link between Asgard and Jotunhiem. Rather, I made it fall to ruin. Truly, I am a villain,” she says sadly. Lady Loki, you’ve found, is still as badass as Loki but softer. Loki doesn’t feel the need to be as haughty in female form. 

“Actually… you remind me more of Luke,” you muse aloud, refusing to let her become depressed by such a fantastic space odyssey series. 

“How so?” 

“Well, you were heroic in Asgard, helping out the Warriors Three and Thor with their adventures over the centuries. And then, you found out something that changed everything. That your real dad was bad news,” 

She snorts, about to retort before you place a finger over her full lips to shush her. 

“And you went to him, you went so close… but then you came back. You knew it was wrong, so you came back. And now you’re here, with me,” you finish sweetly, maneuvering to rest your body in her lap. Your legs straddle her waist, and, shocked then amused, Lady Loki grips your hips. Tears well up in Lady Loki’s eyes a little bit as you kiss her softly, letting her know that you speak only the opinions you feel are really true. 

She’s just as sensitive as Loki. 

“Now, little dove, who told you all that?” 

“You, and Thor. I asked, and then made some conclusions,” you murmur, wrapping your arms around her in a warm embrace. She returns it carefully. 

“Of course you did. So inquisitive…” she agrees, her fingers running through your wings. Small noises of contentment escape from each of you as hands and mouths explore skin. It’s slow and sensual and beautiful. Making out, but not as a road to sex. Just hands circling the bodies, and sloppy small kisses landing everywhere. 

Her eyes are sharp crystals of green, so devastatingly attractive whence paired with those blade-like cheek bones. It makes your body scream to just _fuck her right now_ but then you realize that you don’t even need to. You can worship her just like this. Lady Loki might not think that you need to, let alone should, but hell… she deserves it. An opened mouth kiss, with tongue and all, makes her moan softly. 

It’s fantastic for a while before exhaustion sets in. 

“Minou, I’m tired. It’s late. I’d like to go to bed,” you remind Lady Loki quietly. She grunts, unhappy with having to move. “You can come sleep with me, if you’d like. It’s a special occasion… we both did a lot of good magic today,” you propose. 

“That sounds wonderful. Do you mind… if I… switch to… a different form?” She says slowly. You nod, unperturbed. You give the last twirl of your fingers in her hair, a goodbye to the form. Lady Loki hums and changes form into Lokitty. 

You can hardly hide your squeal of delight. Lokitty purrs sweetly, alluring you to pick him up and hold him with his green eyes. His pupils are so wide and cute, it’s simply screaming at you to adore him. So, of course you give into Lokitty’s charms and scoop him up. You let him purr away in your arms as he rubs into your arms lovingly so you can get the both of you into a bedroom. 

“Mine or yours?” You ask him, scratching between his ears.

“Meow,” he yawns, the noise laced with exhaustion. 

“Impartial? Let’s go to my own then,” you tell him, petting his body. Lokitty rises to meet your hands and purrs his consent. So you enter your room and set the sleepy kitten on the bed. He yowls in protest, and you give him a reassuring caress.

“Minou, I’m just going to get dressed. I’ll be right back to snuggle with you,” you laugh. 

You grab some pajamas, a loose top and soft shorts, and go to the bathroom to put it on, after petting Frank in the Sarah’s branches. He’s very well behaved for a snake, and you have Stark machinery in place that will sense when he needs to eat and release a live mouse. It’s great, and you mull over the as you pull on the pajamas.

You realize _after_ you’ve put them on that you left the door open and there’s been a certain uninvited kitten watching you undress. 

“Minou!” You squeal, “You pervert!” 

“Meow?” He says, the noise is full of superficial ignorance. Lokitty purrs and rolls over adorably. He continues to purr as he trots over to you and rubs around your legs lovingly. 

‘Don’t be mad at me,’ he seems to convey. ‘I love you,’ is communicated through wide loving eyes and cute noises. You give in too easily and scoop him up and tuck him into the bed next to you. Lokitty mews and snuggles in so close that the cloth of the top is pushed aside. To your protest and to his delight, Lokitty jumps inside the top. Now he is nestled between your breasts, his small fuzzy face squished between them. 

“Fine,” you seethe, but in good nature. He purrs happily, and quickly falls asleep. You sigh and hug Lokitty close. He mews in his sleep, and you fall asleep with the little cat’s chest rising and falling in unison with your own. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions comments concerns!


	22. 3-6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you must make the most difficult of decisions: what to get a rich god for the holidays.

**December 28th**

“Jarvis, buddy, what am I going to do?” 

“What are you referring to, Miss?” Jarvis responds to you, worried tones lacing the words as it takes in your pacing down the room. 

“I’ve got almost all the presents. Something for Bruce, Hulk, Thor, Tony, Steve, Clint and Nat,” 

“I believe that you were only supposed to get a present for the person you received in the anonymous drawing. That was the rules of ‘Secret Santa’, yes?” 

“‘Secret Snowflake’, and yes. But I wanted to get everyone something, and now I don’t have a present for the one person I actually got,” you exclaim. You all had decided to not settle on a single holiday: everyone celebrates something different or nothing at all, so it’s just a general gift giving season. You personally have experienced all the holidays under the sun with the amount of different families you’d bunked with under the years, so it’s better for you too. 

“Mr. Laufeyson?” 

“Yeah. I know he rigged it, so that he’d get me and I’d get him, so it makes it even worse that I have no idea what to buy him! And I need to get him a second thing, because he’s my…” 

“Boyfriend? Paramour? Partner?” Jarvis suggests. 

“Sure,” you shrug, “we haven’t discussed exactly where we’re at. But, it’s pretty exclusive and if you’ve been paying attention at all, serious.” 

“I do not understand why you feel as though you must purchase multiple gifts for Mr. Laufeyson,” 

“I… just do. Have you ever had that feeling, Jarvis?” You sigh, and plop down on your bed distraughtly. 

“Is it similar to complying to ones coding?” 

“I guess. Or the opposite. Have you felt like you want to do something, outside of your programming before?” 

“I-I-“

“You don’t have to answer, it was just an idle thought,” you remind him. 

“I’ve felt like that before. Though it isn’t explicitly written in my programming I have… this… notion to… care for you. Especially,” Jarvis spills. 

“Really?” 

“I, despite my knowledge that I shouldn’t, consider you my closest…”

“Friend?” You smile into your pillow, excited at his omission. 

“Yes. You are my friend,” he agrees. 

“So, my friend, can you help me decide on what to buy Lokes?” You’ve adopted Josh’s nickname for Loki, after his extreme use of it whenever you bring him along to visit the library or volunteer. The flirting hasn’t stopped, but Loki secretly relishes it. 

“Of course, Miss. May I make some recommendations after viewing the footage of repeated things that Laufeyson has done?” 

“Oh, that would be  _ so  _ helpful. I know so many things that Loki likes, but… nothing seems good enough that I can find. Or he already has a better version of it,” you omit. It’s tiring, and stressed inducing. Loki really is the guy who has everything. Everything he likes, anyway. 

“I am actively reviewing the footage, and I can proquire a list of things he enjoys. This includes:

  * Exotic teas
  * Hand tailored suits
  * Nail Polishes
  * Cat Toys, if the form permits it
  * Expensive trinkets
  * Gold
  * Books, particularly in Old English…” 



You make a loud sigh of restlessness. None of that is something he doesn’t already have a bunch of! The gift exchange is tonight. And you have absolutely nothing. 

“If I may, Miss, there is one thing Mr. Laufeyson loves above all,” Jarvis notes. 

“And what could that be?” 

“You. He does enjoy all those activities… but it is easily apparent that he’d throw them all away for you. And with that, I’m sure that he’d adore whatever you get him. Because it came from you,” Jarvis elaborates. It’s so sweet, you smile sappily. 

“Then I know exactly what I can give him,” you grin slyly. Jarvis chuckles from above as you fly up to your hammock on the ceiling with markers and paper. 

**_Later… in the living room for gift exchanges_ **

The couch, chairs, and floor is full of laughing Avengers and friends. You anxiously hold a present wrapped in green paper in your bouncing lap, glancing around at all the others gathered. Loki has his arm around your waist on your left, and Clint is being boisterous on your right. 

“Are we going to do this or what?” Nat asks. The others agree, and so it begins. You hardly pay attention, nervous for your turn. The presents given to the others are so kind (and sometimes expensive) that you worry that yours would never match up.  _ What if none of them are good enough? What if they all secretly hate it? Or worse, not so secretly?  _

“Yo, Little Miss Anxiety. It’s your turn. We waited for you for last,” Clint bumps your shoulder playfully. You startle, and the present falls out of your hands. Loki instantly catches it and holds it for you easily. You blush under the eyes staring at you now. 

“W-well I got L-Loki…” you stammer, pushing your present back into Loki’s hands. 

“How fortuitous, I received you as well,” he purrs, magically producing a gift out of thin air. Nat rolls her eyes. 

“You rigged it, didn’t you?” She accuses drily. 

“I haven’t a clue what you mean,” Loki says loftily, playing with the neat bow you’d tied onto the top of his green present. You shake the present he’d gifted you, curious about the contents. Your initial fear is overturned by an intense curiosity. 

“Go on, open it,” Pepper says excitedly. Everyone knows that Loki, despite his flaws, is an incredibly generous gift giver. You nod, and peel back the gold paper around it gently. Out of the box, that was so small, is a ukulele. It seems impossible that it could have ever fit in the box: and then you remember that it’s Loki, and he most definitely magicked so it would be a complete surprise. Your eyes light up, and a breathy gasp escapes you. 

The uke is gorgeous, with flowers burned into it. The strings are golden, and shimmer in the light. You spin to Loki and meet his eyes. You smile grandly, and Loki seems so lively. 

“Do… you like it? I had it made for you, because you’ve always enjoyed the Midgardian music,” he says smoothly. The rest of the room watches enraptured, and you investigate the instrument he’d given you. Loki pulls you into his lap, and helps you look through each and every crevice of his gift. He guides your hand down the body of the uke, his nails painted a pretty green (since he’d learned you’d like it, he’s been keeping them coloured) and running over your knuckles. Loki hasn’t even opened his: he seems perfectly delighted to help you with yours. 

“Now, dearest, there is an extra trinket that I have added onto this gift…” 

“Can you say sugar daddy, kids?” Tony snorts. Loki simply flips his hair over his shoulder and pays him no mind. He only has eyes for you, the fascinated girl on his lean lap. Loki, with a dramatic gesture of his hand, presses a raised flower on the headstock. Magic quickly shifts the ukulele into a much larger counterpart: a guitar. The entire room ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ at the show of magic. 

“Now that’s a gift, small Fae!” Thor booms. You place the guitar on the couch where you used to be sitting, and throw your arms around Loki in a teary hug. He sighs happily and returns it with a small kiss on your neck. 

“Happy holidays, my love,” he murmurs. 

“Thank you, Loki. I-I… I don’t know what to say. This is one of the most thoughtful things anyone’s ever done for me. Not many people would think so deeply about what I’d enjoy most,” you sniffle. Loki tuts and pulls back, kissing away the grateful tears that have congealed at your eyes. You laugh a little as he kisses them away, not even bothering about the audience that is watching. 

“Okay, okay, I have to give my presents to everyone else,” you giggle. The crowd perks up at that.

“You got presents for all of us?” Rhodey asks intently. 

“Well, of course! I know I wasn’t supposed to, but I wanted to. I had $500 left in my old bank account, and there are no people that I’d rather blow it on. I mean, there’s other ones that I need to give to people who aren’t here, like the face cream for Nick, and for Josh, Carroll, and Katy…” you ramble, opening up a small portal that only takes a bit of focus to do into your closet where you’d hidden the gifts. 

“Okay, so first, for Steve, I was able to find a playlist of 40s songs at an old record store on the Lower East Side. I thought it might be nice if you’d listen to music you were raised with. I mean, it always makes me feel more at home here,” you explain, tossing him the record which he catches gratefully, “and I put the address of the guy who owns the store on there. He has an used phonograph that he’s been itching to get rid of. You can probably ask him for it in exchange for an autographed picture… or some publicity or something. He’d love that, the sweet old guy that he is.” Steve nods gratefully, holding the record close. 

“For Tony, I got you a plant,” you say plainly, pulling out a green potted plant. The others (namely Rhodey and Clint) begin to laugh, and Tony makes a face when he takes it. 

“You probably want to know why. Well, sometimes I can tell that you work yourself too hard, with that genius philanthropist brain and rich lifestyle you have. You need to slow down occasionally and the best way to do that, at least for me, is a repeated task that doesn’t change. Something to root you into the ground and that stays solid. And I don’t want to see Dum-E watering it for you. You’ve got to do this one tiny task for yourself. It’ll only take a few seconds, but maybe it’ll help with everything,” you say slowly. He nods, wiping at his eyes.

“I’m not crying, there’s just some dust particles in my reactor…” he protests at Peppers knowing look. 

“For Pepper, I got you this bracelet that Loki helped me out with. If you ever get attacked or anything again, it can electrocute people and will send a signal to Tony to come get you. And he can send a suit for you too,” you hand her the intricate bracelet. It’s small, so it won’t be too noticeable. But really helpful. 

“Don’t you think I have some tracking tech on her?” Tony reminds you. Pepper raises an eyebrow. 

“Probably, but this is Asgardian/Fae magic. And as you’ve learned, it works very effectively and different than technology. There are very few things in the universe that can combat this signal, right minou?” 

“Yes, darling,” he agrees, his body language confessing to you his desire to have you reseated on his suit-covered thighs. 

“Okay! Moving on, Rhodey. For you I got you some cleaning stuff and grease for your suit. I know the suit can be clunky and hard to move in sometimes. Hope this helps,” you explain. He catches it and looks at the items. 

“How could you possibly have known that?” He guffaws. 

“She listens real well. You’ve got to be careful around that one,” Clint adds on helpfully. You nod in agreement, not even attempting to hide it. 

“Um, I guess I’ll do Thor next,” you announce, taking silent notice of Loki’s possessive glare and Thor’s gulp.

“Don’t stab your brother please, just because I’m giving him a present,” you glare at Loki, and he turns away with a childish huff at being caught. “So for Thor, I got you this kit of Midgardian hair stuff. There’s hair bands, bun clips, normal clips, headbands… all that jazz. I know you love your long hair, but I also know that you’re kind of a behemoth and it keeps getting caught in things because you’re too big. And the leather strips you use aren’t really good for putting in your hair a lot. So. Maybe this will help you,” you hand him the bag, which he accepts gratefully. His eyes light up delightedly as he examines each of the many items packed in there. 

“I appreciate and value your intuition and benevolence,” Thor thanks you, already tying up his hair with one of the bands, “and if you’d like to braid my hair like you had done when Banner inhabited my form, I’d be open to it.” You nod, ideas of a giant Avenging braid train already forming in your mind. 

“Next, I got this for Bruce,” you say, presenting him with a large box that has the Stark logo on it. He opens it curiously and laughs when he sees what’s inside. He holds it up for everyone to look at: a pair of pants, calf length. 

“I had Stark and Loki help me out with this. It may have taken some Edna Mode level fashion skills but, we have finally found a pair of pants that will stretch to adapt when you hulk out. I know that you spend upwards of 2000 dollars a year on new pants, and I wanted to give a necessary gift. Do you like it?” 

“Of course I do! This is brilliant. Thanks,” Bruce says excitedly. You present him with a second gift, and he gives you a confused look as he goes to open it. 

“NO! Don’t open that one! It’s for Hulk,” you yell. 

“You… got a gift for Hulk?” Natasha asks carefully. 

“Well, of course! He continuously insists that he’s not Banner, and Bruce says that he’s not Hulk. It seems only right to give them two different presents as they are two different people,” you affirm, confident in your logic. The people agree uneasily.

You whisper to Bruce what it is: “I used some magic on a few flowers… they’ll stay in bloom forever. Hulk likes flowers… so I got him an assortment.” Bruce nods sagely, and carefully places it next to the pants. 

“And next on the list, Nat. I had talked to Fury about getting you some new weapons… and I found out about these in development with Stark. Nick said that I could give them to you as presents. They can charge your batons and blasts. Also, I helped make them so if you need to wear them over something undercover, you just smack em twice in rapid succession to camouflage. So, here’s the new and improved ‘Widow’s Bite’!” You give her a cased set of gauntlets. They are beautiful pieces of machinery, and not to say incredibly powerful. She’s had a similar version before, but these should connect to her suit and make it even stronger and more efficient. 

“Who can I try it out on?” Natasha growls playfully at the group. Clint ducks behind the couch. 

“I was the test dummy for the electric batons!” He squeals. You giggle, and craft an illusion. It’s a non complicated one, of an expressionless mugger. Nat takes aim, and fires. The illusion shatters, the electricity crackling through the space. You gasp a bit at the energy rushing through the connection between you and the illusion you’d hastily erected. Loki is by your side in an instant. You give him a reassuring kiss on the cheek, the only part you can really reach while leaning into him, and pat his chest to release you. 

“That works well! Okay, now all I have is Clint, right? Here’s yours,” you pass him a gift bag. He takes it and returns to his part of the couch, looking through it excitedly. The top gift is a new set of arrows. They’re smaller than normal, and made of wood. Clint lifts it and examines it closely. It’s clear that he is an expert on the weapon. 

“So, I was thinking to myself that you don't have a magic-resistant arrow. And I was like, hey! I can fix that! And… I made an arrow set that can dispel illusions and magic to an extent. Are they to your liking?” You ask nervously, scratching the back of your head. 

“It’s really good. Perfect for my bow, actually. Thanks!!” He grins lopsidedly, enjoying the feel and build of your arrows. 

You walk up close to him and whisper in his ear as you skip happily back to your seat by Loki: “Put it close to the bottom of the bag.” Clint does, and hides his giddy surprise well. For you’ve put in a little present for Laura, Lila, and Cooper I’m there. A similar spell to what Loki used for your present, you’d gotten a hand in magically making the bag fit an assortment of items for the whole family. He mouths ‘thank you’. You wink at him, settling into Loki’s lap and experimenting with your own gift. Loki hums happily as he places his head in your shoulder. To imagine there was a time when you refused to sit on those slender thighs is insane now. How you were missing out. 

The crowd starts to disperse for various reasons and you realize that Loki has yet to open his own present. 

“Um, minou, I actually got you two things…” you murmur, rubbing behind his ear and finding delight in his purrs. 

“I… was not aware that we were permitted by this task to purchase two items!” He exclaims indignantly.

“Well, just think of it as my long-overdue courting gift to you,” you smile kindly. The grin on Loki’s face is worth any gift. You tap his present, and he begins to open it. 

Inside, lays a few assorted things. One, a gift card to a secluded lingerie store. His eyes get a dark glint in them as he pursues the examples listed on the card. 

“Oh, I already like this, darling. So many options for you…” he hints seductively. 

“A-and there’s a hand tailored suit store attached to the place. We could go there in the morning,” you continue, and then pick out another thing out of the box. 

“This is a business card for an antique book store in the back corners of Chelsea. A-and then there’s a cat cafe in Brooklyn we can go to, and you can be a cat and play with all the other cats, and I’ll be there of course, and then we can go to the Plaza Hotel for tea because you’re always hungry and you like tea and gold and fancy stuff and I’ll wear whatever dress you want me to, and we can get our nails done here at this place that Josh adores and another snack and then if you want there’s like a sex shop over there and-“ 

Loki cuts off your rambling with a searing kiss. 

“So my present is a date that you organized?” He chuckles, the noise rumbling through your connected bodies. You trace your fingers on the leather-covered arms of his jacket, a small smile on your face when you take in Loki’s shiver.

“Yup. Do ya like it?” 

“Mhmm,” Loki murmurs, pulling you in closer so that he can nuzzle your neck. 

“Really, Loki. I was so worried that you’d hate it…” 

“Oh, darling. A whole day with you, doing things I love… that is the best gift I could ever receive. You are the best gift,” 

“See, I was hoping you’d say that. That is a perfect segway into the second part of your gift. This one happens tonight,” you say with sickly sweetness. Now you’re  _ really _ glad that the room is clear: you’re almost sure that it’s about to get a bit racy. 

Loki raises an eyebrow, a tricky smile on his face. He plays with the hem of your shirt letting his cold long fingers massage your back and where the wing begins. You almost forget when you’ve planned with how  _ good  _ his fingers feel. 

“C-come… on, Loki. Can we…  _ ooh _ … do the thing? I have planned?” You ask, the words littered with breathy moans as his fingers knead your back. You know that Loki  _ loves loves loves  _ massaging your back and making you involuntary blurt out these noises. Loki will trick you into sitting on his lap so that he can do that… which sucks, as you enjoy his lap. 

“Ah, dearest, I believe that I am fine here…” 

“Trust me, you’re going to like -ah!- this,” you stumble over your words. When Loki sighs and releases you from his grasp and you trip off his lap, you’re part upset at yourself for doing so but overall knowing that Loki will adore this next one. You crook a flirtatious finger at him to get him to follow. Loki sits up abruptly, his striking eyes flashing green as he holds your gaze, and elegantly moves after you. 

It’s only a short elevator ride until you get to your room. You ask Sarah, politely, to stop expelling the relaxing pollen. She listens, obviously. Frank is sunning himself by the window, so he’s not a problem. Loki-Like has been moved away. He’s not going to want to see this. You breathe deeply, and place your hands on your hips to gain a bit more confidence. 

“Loki. Strip,” you command, flaring your wings. Loki’s eyes widen in surprise at your sudden change of tone, but then he smirks. Instead of simply disappearing the clothes, Loki quickly shucks them off. He now stands proudly bare in the center of your room. Your mouth goes dry: he really is quite the Adonis. 

“On the bed,” you instruct, and Loki easily throws himself on the bed, an arm propping his body up so that you can get the side view of sinfully hot muscle and bits of dark hair. 

“Darling,” he purrs, “I think this more of a present for you than me.” 

“Uh… yeaaah.” 

_ Where was I??  _

“Shift to Jotun form,” you direct, regaining your moxy. Loki scoffs goodnaturedly, leaning back flat on the bed with his hands resting behind his back. You ensure that he’s turning Frosty and then exit to the bathroom. 

You take off your clothes. Make sure that the lacy black thin lingerie is on full display. 

Then, you step out of the bathroom. 

Loki’s head turn is lazy, and then his eyes shoot wide open at your form. He is, in fact, in Frost Giant form, his hair drifting around his face and eyes red. 

“D-dar-ling,” he blubbers. 

“You like what you see, minou?” You croon. He nods rapidly, stretching his arms towards you and beginning to get out of bed. 

“Nuh uh, mischief. You have to stay there, I’m coming,” you trill, strutting over. You snuggle in close to him the second you jump in the sheets, making sure to lay directly utop him. Loki moans so loud at the warmth of your skin, you’re sure people upstairs have got to have heard it. 

You giggle, your tough dominant facade disappearing. 

“Minou, everyone’s gonna hear you,” you snort. 

“I do not care a single bit about any of them,” he groans, moving to press each part of skin you have against part of his. His blue bare legs wrap around you so that Loki envelops you completely. 

“Hmm… I think this was worth it… or perhaps you would have just liked to kiss in the living room?” You tease him. He growls lowly and pulls you up his body by the ass, kissing his way down your neck, collar bone, and nestling in the valley between your breasts. Loki undoes the clasp for the bra, slipping it off much easier than you were able to do yourself. He moans at the warmth in the uncovered skin. 

“Oh, minou,” you sigh happily, scratching Loki’s head and running your hands through his raven locks. He whimpers, and snuggles closer. “I love it when you’re like this. So sweet and adorable. I mean, everything else is good too… but this… oh chaton. You’re too delicious,” you murmur. His red eyes flick up to yours, lips pursed slightly. 

“You understand… that this form is considered to be monstrous by millions, yes?” 

“I’m not just anyone, mon minou. And you’re not anyone either,” you smile softly, and Loki returns it. He sneaks back up your body, obsessing over the heat you emit still, and presses his lips to yours. When Loki lets you back up for air from that drowning kiss, you push your forehead to match his. His eyelashes dance and flutter intoxicatingly. Loki whines and pulls your head closer to his for another stolen joinment of lips. 

“Well, do you want to eat me out with that cold mouth of yours or what?” You declare to him, pressing a finger to his lips. Loki opens his mouth and takes your finger into it, sucking on it like his life depended on it. His tongue licks and swishes around the pad of it. It is an insanely lewd and sexual thing, the way his eyes roll back into his head as he sucks. 

“Oh, excited are we?” 

Loki moans pitifully. You’re surprised you’ve managed to stay dominant this long: usually Loki’s hunger would have taken over by down and you’d be pleasured in some way of Loki’s design.

Presumably, when Loki is in Jotun form, he’s either completely compliant with your qualms (desperate for your attentions and heat) or nearing animalistic in his instinctive moves. When he’s not making an active choice to reign himself in. Or if you’ve wrecked him already, without even touching his iron spike of a cock that has been dripping on the sheets for a little while now. 

Maybe you should help him out. 

But...

As he scrambles his lanky body down yours eagerly, you can’t say that you will right now. 

“Happy holidays, minou,” you gasp. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it’s proving to be a strange time in New York City. With the virus going around and all. But, I’m still writing! So there. Take that virus. 
> 
> On another note, here is an excerpt of a slightly insane conversation I had with a friend:
> 
> Me: so yeah, I like Loki and the MCU.  
> Her: Hey, what’s the name of that actor who plays the Winter Solider?  
> Me: Sebastian Stan, duh  
> Her: oh he lives in my building. I see him around occasionally. He has a red sports car and leaves it out front  
> Me (externally): Woah, that’s really cool!! Lucky!  
> Me (internally): HAVE I NOT BEEN GOOD, GOD? *laments life choices*
> 
> Questions comments concerns! The next chapter will be Age of Ultron!
> 
> COVID UPDATE:  
> Well, I’m officially scared shitless. All the schools have closed for upwards of one month. Everything is either shut down or required to have fifty percent capacity or less. 
> 
> This is unheard of. 
> 
> If anyone is feeling the same thing, all my prayers and love. Stay safe. 
> 
> \- Lehuka


	23. 3-7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you retrieve another piece of Loki’s past, and embark on another grand adventure.

**January 16th**

There’s no putting it off any longer: you need a weapon. There’s a big infiltration of a Hydra base today and you need a weapon if you’re going to come. Which you are, obviously. If there’s a large amount of heavy artillery and Clint is attending, there’s a 75% chance that you’re going to have to attend to  _ him _ . 

Strange, how when you were fighting off the Mindless it was no big thing to chuck weapon after weapon at them… but now that you have to to pick a lifelong weapon partner it’s difficult. Either way, you drag yourself to the armory. Nat is waiting there for you, along with some others, to help you pick one out. 

“There she is! Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?” Tony announces when you enter the room. You bite your lip as you look at all the weapons that have been assembled for you on the wall. 

There’s large knives that are similar to Loki’s (far from you to steal his brand), long swords (could cut your wings if you don’t pull it out right), wicked scythes (too scary for even you, you’re no angel of death), bow and arrows (can you use magic and arrows at the same time?)… one things for sure though: 

“I don’t want a weapon that will be fatal, always. It’s not really my thing to be killing… people,” you speak up. So Nat directs you to a particular section. You lift a bo staff, attracted to how it is weighted in your hand. It would be easy to imbue magic into: but… you don’t really have the best arm strength, and the image of you flying around whapping enemies in the head is kind of funny. Not threatening at all. Too unthreatening. And, on the other hand, the quarter staff is appealing but too heavy and would weigh you down in flight. You need something that can be threatening but also light and easy to use magic with… but also non-lethal. 

“Darling, perhaps this one?” Loki appears by your side, holding a weapon that looks to be a bo staff with a metal cap at one end and a knife on the other. The wood calls to you oddly. You touch it, and gasp. The wood on the weapon… it’s still alive. Somehow, the tree is still growing. You’re fascinated by this weapon: powerful but minimalist, dangerous but light. Everything. 

“Ah, so the Naginata caught your eye, hmm?” Natasha saunters up. 

“Is that what this is called? A… Naginata?” You spin it in your hands. Loki ducks so that you don’t hit him. The knife at the end perturbs you, making a very clearly magically aware weapon bland. 

“Yes. It’s a Japanese weapon primarily used by women, similar to a glaive. Do you want to spar with it for a while, see if you want to keep it?” 

“Yeah…” you say, brightening as you heft it up and down more. Nat coaxes you into the sparring circle on the other side of the room and produces her batons. She doesn’t turn them on, thankfully, just there to stun not immobilize you. Loki watches carefully from the sidelines, and Tony rubs his hands together, hankering for a battle. 

You quickly spin the naginata round in your hands, preparing nervously. Nat goes easy on you, obviously, but you can parry her attacks and smack her in the side multiple times. It seems you have a natural ease with this weapon. Perhaps the Dark Fae of old used staffs? Or maybe it’s the wood you feel connected to. 

You’re distracted by these thoughts and Nat is able to whack the naginata out of your hand. Instinctively, you whip out your hand towards it. The wood produces a vine which shoots out to you and clamps around your hand. It only takes a few seconds before it’s back in your hand. 

“You’ve got to keep that one, Rosebud,” Tony whistles, impressed. You blush, and investigate the weapon more, running your hands over the wood. It seems to hum under your fingertips. 

“Yeah. This is perfect,” you murmur. Nat claps her hands, signaling the end of the conversation. 

“That’s all then. I’ll see you guys in an hour to go out to that base, hmm?” 

“Yup! Thank you, Nat,” you say cheerfully, holding the naginata next to you triumphantly. Loki comes closer to investigate your choice closer. He makes a noise of satisfaction after he’s done examining each inch of it. 

“If you must insist on joining us in battle, I am content knowing that you now possess a weapon to defend yourself properly,” he explains. You nod happily. 

“I want to be helpful. And you’ve been teaching me all those helpful spells… how does the memory one work again?” You question. Loki has been quite the attentive teacher, teaching you a plethora of spells that you’ve taken to hungrily. Loki smirks, and taps his cheek.  _ A kiss for a spell. Something a bit more than a kiss for a bigger spell.  _ That’s his rule. You shake your head, snickering, but oblige him with a dainty ghost of a kiss on his cheek. He pouts comically, and you poke him in the ribs. 

“More kisses after you show me again,” you giggle. Loki sighs dramatically, but his eyes flash green nonetheless as he summons his seiðr. He presents his hand to you, palm up. 

“Focus now, darling. The mind is fragile: we must tread carefully,” he cautions. You make a quick solemn nod before holding your hand out next to his. You remember the movement to initiate the spell: at the same time, you must throw your palm to his forehead and his to yours. 

“Your mind, or mine?” You whisper as he murmurs words under his breath. You try and memorize them. 

“Mhmm, I showed you a memory of mine last time. It is your turn,” he responds. You remember his memory: reading outside in a garden on Asgard, alongside his mother. To access his mind, he had allowed you passage. You must do that for him now. Loki had said that magic users had a natural defense to the memory… people without it did not. 

Your arms wrap around each other as you both place your palms on each other’s foreheads. With a gasp, you pull Loki’s consciousness into your memory. The one you pick is from only a few days ago. 

_< You’re_ _sitting on your bed, cross legged. Your phone is propped up on your knee, and the ukulele is in your lap. You strum the instrument experimentally, checking if it is tuned correctly. After ensuring that yes, in fact, it is, you press play on the YouTube video. Enraptured, you watch as a man teaches you how to play a song. Only a few tries later, you’ve got it. You play through the whole song confidently. It’s only a few chords, and a rhythmic one at that, so you can handle it. The door opens, and you glance up to see who it is._

_ ‘Hey, Steve. I’m learning how to play! Do you want to hear?’ You smile at him. Steve had clearly came with the intention of telling you something, perhaps how much he’d gotten into your list of pop culture cinema you’d insisted on his compliance with or something.  _

_ ‘Alright. Show me what you’ve got,’ he chirps, settling on the bed beside you. You take a deep breath, and begin. You start to sing softly, shyly, when the vocals come in. Just ‘oooh, oooh, ooo, oohs’ at first, then,  _

_ ‘Somewhere over the rainbow, Way up high… And the dreams that you dream of, Once in a lullaby _

_ Somewhere over the rainbow. Bluebirds fly, and the dreams that you dream of, Dreams really do come true _

_ Someday, I wish upon a star _

_ Wake up where the clouds are far behind me _

_ Where trouble melts like lemon drops _

_ High above the chimney top _

_ That's where you'll find me…’ _

_ Steve listens, without making any sudden moves or comments, even as you stutter at one point or mess up. He waits for you to finish. When you do, the silence feels stifling. You smile at him nervously.  _

_ ‘Was it good?’ You ask worriedly.  _

_ ‘Was it… was… yes. It was beautiful,’ he responds in hushed tones.  _

_ ‘Do you… do you think Loki will like it?’  _

_ ‘He’ll love it. Undoubtedly,’ Steve grins. You return it.  _

_ ‘Perfect,’ > _

You come out of the memory and into reality suddenly. You barely get a breath in before Loki’s lips press into yours, devouring them. His arm wraps around your waist, holding you up when your legs give out. It was that powerful. There's an indescribable noise as Loki finally releases you, and you blink rapidly before attempting a squeaky laugh.

“Now, what was that for?” you peep. His eyes rove over your face, expression serious. 

“I. Love. You.” Each word is punctuated by a beat in between, and he’s breathing quite fast. “I love you so much. I love that even when you are with someone else you are still thinking of me. I love that you are so kind and want to share everything you enjoy with me. I love that you feel like you want to do things for me. I love you, with every fiber of my immortal being, it feels like at any moment now I will combust entirely,” he says it all so fast you can barely process it. You smile, and pull yourself to your feet.

“Guess you liked the song, then?” you chirp happily. 

“You have a beautiful voice. I regret deeply not presenting you with an instrument sooner,” he says hoarsely. You offer him a sweet happy smile on a platter, and his eyes inhale it hungrily. His elegant digits sneak their way under your loose workout clothes, painting abstract patterns on your back and wings as he draws you closer. In your ear, Loki whispers hotly, “How much trouble would we get into if I fucked you into the wall right here?” 

To his surprise and delight, you lean into him seductively.

“I think we’ve got time…” you purr. Loki moans softly as you palm him through his dress pants briefly. You’ve gotten more rash after these months: probably because as time moves forwards, you can continue to notice how  _ good  _ of a lover Loki is. He certainly knows how to make a woman crave his touches. And you’re not blind: you can see that he likes when you touch him as well.

“Oh dear, I’ve corrupted you. How entirely sinful,” he utters darkly. 

“Mhmm, I wear it well, wouldn’t you agree?” you fire right back at him. Loki growls, and starts to work on the suddenly too many clothes between you. 

“OH COME ON! We have to go! I can’t  _ believe  _ you two, horny all the fucking time…” 

Tony has pushed open the door and is preaching all of this from the door frame. You hadn’t processed until now that he’d even left. You blush and step back from Loki, embarrassed.  _ Some things really don’t change though.  _ Loki may be an exhibitionist but you are most certainly not. 

“Impeccable timing as always, Stark,” Loki rolls his eyes annoyedly. 

“Sorry that you don’t get it right now, but there are actual lives at stake here. Maybe I should just call you ‘Horny’... certainly fits…” Tony grumbles on his way out, “Get your uniforms on. We’re meeting the public before we get on the Quinjet.” 

You give Loki an apologetic expression as you grab the naginata and the back strap for it and begin to walk out of the room. You’re leaving the poor guy with a boner. 

“Ah, darling, it is fine. Here, let me,” Loki lifts a hand and you are suddenly changed into your ‘work attire’. You pat it down to smooth out any bumps and stretch your wings experimentally. 

“You’ve  _ got  _ to teach me how to do that,” you exasperate. Loki grabs your chin hard, so that you can’t look away. 

“I like it that you have to rely on me for something,” he teases. You humph, and then let Loki take your arm in his to escort you downstairs. As Loki presses the button in the elevator, you let out a drawn-out sigh. 

“What troubles you, darling dearest?” Loki asks elegantly, eyes piercing you from the other side of the elevator. 

“Nothing, really. This is just so weird,” you shake your head amusedly.  
  
“Whatever do you mean?”

“It’s just… I never thought that I’d be here. Under a year ago, I was living under a tree for goodness sakes,” you pull the naginata out and run your hands over it. “Now, I’m an Avenger, dating a Norse god, and casually fingering a naginata. It’s funny.” 

You flick the knife part of the naginata frustratedly. 

“Dearest, what is your distaste for that piece of the weapon? Does it owe you a debt?” Loki teases. You glare at him halfheartedly and then continue poking at it. 

“No… it just… irks me. I don’t like it. A weapon as beautiful and special as this deserves a more exciting and special blade,” 

“Let me see, darling. JARVIS, halt the elevator,” Loki instructs. Jarvis voices his compliance and stops it so that Loki can investigate the blade in greater detail. His eyes, long lashes elegantly dipping up and down as he focuses, are contemplative. His nails, painted a pretty green, run up and down the naginata, and it doesn’t take much imagination to see those hands on your skin. To distract you from that idea that stirs arousal in your core, you search his face more. His raven-coloured hair, ebony and long, is thrown over his shoulder in a way too meticulously perfect to be careless. His cheekbones, his nose, his lips. 

“Darling?”

You startle. 

“Uh, yes!” 

“You can stop staring at me now. I will fix your weapon,” he says impishly, his lips curving into a sly smile. You flush, and try and focus on your naginata. 

“So, what are you going to do?”

“This,” Loki announces, and pulls out the blade with no hint of effort. “Your blade was loose. No one has used this in a long time, and it was shaky from disuse. I will replace it with one of my own knives.” 

Before you can insist that this isn’t necessary, Loki has summoned one of his Asgardian blades and separates it from the hilt with magic. He carefully places the new blade in the wood, and you help him by securing it with a touch of Dark Fae nature magic. 

“There, dearest. Better?” Loki sighs, placing the weapon back into your outstretched hands. 

“Much. Thank you,” you chirp, and place a peck on his cheek. Loki closes his eyes, savouring the sensation, as you tell Jarvis to bring you to the rest of the Avengers. 

“Darling, watch me,” Loki instructs, waving his hand over the sharp tip of the blade. You watch as the blade disappears from the end of the naginata, then reappears as his hand glides over it again. You laugh in delight, practicing the movement over and over as the elevator reaches your destination. Loki has a dreamy smile on his face as he watches. 

They were already Assembled when the two of you got there, and, insistent on getting going, you all head out immediately. The second you exit the main doors, you’re met with camera flashes and hoots of the huge crowd. Bigger than anything you’ve had to deal with as yet. Big enough to warrant police presence and fencing blocking them. You flinch away, right into Loki’s solid chest. Whipping your face his, Loki takes in your frazzled expression. 

“We only have to make it to the jet, my love. You can surely handle this?” He asks tentatively. 

“Hand?” you whimper pitifully, curving your wings inwards. Loki softens, and grips your hand in his discreetly. You don’t have to look to know that he is covering it with an illusion to make it look like they aren’t conjoined at all. You convince yourself to forget about that fact. Now, you can attempt and listen in on what these people are saying. Most are calling out the other Avengers, but you can hear your own name being said.  _ Huh.  _

“Smiles!! Over here!!” a familiar voice says. You comb the crowd for the source. You pick out Katy waving her hands wildly next to two people who look like her, assumably her parents. You get as close to her as possible, a huge smile on your face as you drag Loki along. She pushes her way to the front of the barrier. You run over and grasp her hands in yours, flaring your wings excitedly. Loki gets a faceful of feather. 

“Katy!! What are you doing here?” you yell over the people. Her parents look on proudly as she tells you all about how she planned to come here early so that she can see her friend going on a real-life mission. Katy introduces you to her parents, Sadia and Henry. They don’t balk at the wings and horns at all: a positive part of the newfound fame you have as an Avenger. 

“Your daughter is a pleasure. You’re real lucky to have her,” you tell them.

“S-stop…” Katy says playfully. 

“Ah, we know. She had so much fun with you at the library: we should be thanking you for taking such good care of her!” Sadia exclaims. You wave it away, blushing. 

“Fae. We must go,” Loki states, strict and unfeeling. You understand why immediately: Loki is playing the role he has been given. Henry unknowingly grips his wife and daughters hand as he finally takes notice of the god. If Loki sees, he doesn’t show it. You look at him with puppy dog eyes, playing up the usual sweetheart routine. 

“Come on, you have to at  _ least  _ say hi to Katy. I’m sure she has at least one more question for you.” Katy’s eyes light up excitedly. 

“Actually, I-I do! Did you g-give-” Katy starts, raising her voice to be heard over the crowds yammerings. 

“If this is another ‘did I give birth to’ question, mortal,” Loki rolls his eyes, a small smile betraying his stern words, as he bends down to hear the rest of her question. 

“A-as I was saying, did you give b-b-birth to F-Fenrir?” 

“The wolf?” Loki says incredulously. Katy nods rapidly. 

“NO! No, I did not give birth to a  _ wolf!  _ By the Norns! I will never truly understand Midgardians and their obsession with me and childbirth!” Loki exclaims comically. Katy giggles. 

“W-well, that’s what they s-said in N-norse Mythology,” 

“Either way,” Loki sighs, running a hand through his hair, “we really must be going. I will relish our conversations as always, young one. Till our next meeting.” With a flourish (that causes Katy to laugh more, and more than a few laughs from you as well), Loki guides you onto the Quinjet. Once seated inside with the rest of the Avengers and Clint taking the wheel to takeoff, Loki gives you a shrewd half-grin. 

“Now now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”   


“No! Katy was there!” 

“Yes, I know.”

You grin at Loki, and watch as he gets a bit flustered under your gaze. 

“I invited her. She is one of your friends I enjoy the company of most,” Loki spills, and you clap your hands to your mouth. 

“Because…”   
  
“Because you do not like large crowds, dearest. I knew someone you knew would make you feel more at ease. So I made it so. Was it a suitable distraction?”  


“Yes! Thank you, thank you, I could kiss you!” you exclaim, gaining you annoyed looks from the other inhabitants of the ship. Loki gives you another trickster’s grin and puckers his lips expectantly. You oblige him with a large heated kiss. When you seperate, you ask him, 

“We were allowed to invite people?” 

Loki groans, and then chuckles. 

~~~~~

The flight to the Hydra base is a relatively short one: you still have time to take a power nap on Loki though, and that helps you prepare for what’s to come. This is your first really big mission, one that you could very easily perish in. You should be worried: but among your family, you feel safe. Comfortable. Strange, considering you’re about to murderer members of a Nazi organization. 

Your naginata is snugly strapped to your back, and can easily be pulled out when you have need of it. As you get closer to the location, you can tell the rest of the Avengers are antsy: minus you and Loki. You give them odd looks as they whisper to each other. Loki hangs his head slightly: clearly used to the sound of whispers and heated looks from others. You very slyly stretch your wing so that it wraps around Loki’s form. He shivers. 

Then you yank it closer, so that he falls on you with an audible ‘oof’. Now his head is in your lap. You pet his head contently, trying to forget about the offputting looks that Thor gives you, losing yourself in Loki’s rumbling purrs that resonate in the enclosed space. Loki seems to be much more content now, snuggling into your lap and arms tucked neatly beneath his chest, his lofty persona eradicated by your fingers carding through his long hair. 

Before you know it, the Quinjet has landed a ways from the perimeter of the formidable HYDRA campus. You can see the castle-like structure in the distance, and your wings ruffle in anticipation. Loki grips your hand as you exit the plane, when you instil the illusion to shield the team, when the first shots sound off. When the fight breaks out, and each member of the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes disperse to muscle their way to the main source. 

You fly overhead, keeping eyes on everyone. The earpiece snug in your ear connects you to the others… and you have your helmet around your head, the visor letting you know where the rest of the team is. A very stupid agent takes a shot at you -that you easily dodge- and you can hear Loki’s snarl over the private Avengers radio wavelength as he stabs him in the neck. 

Even without the headset, you’d be able to find Loki: he’s wearing his horned helmet again. You’ve missed it. Perhaps loving the horns has something to do with your own biology and natural ones...

Tony flies up ahead to the building, and you remain soaring over the stolen car that Natasha and Clint are in. Steve has a motorcycle, apparently, and he is handling himself just fine it seems. You know you probably won’t have to worry about the gods or supersoldiers or Hulks… just the talented humans. You know the explosions should scare you, but at this point in your Avengers career, you’ve gotten scarily used to it. Loki teleports systematically to keep up with Nat and Clint. 

“Shit!” Tony calls out angrily. You spin in the air, throwing the naginata and calling it back to you when it slices a man’s stomach. Not fatally, hopefully. 

“Language!” Steve replies quickly, “Jarvis, what’s the view from upstairs?” 

“The central building is protected by some kind of energy shield. Strucker’ technology is well beyond any other Hydra base we’ve taken,” Jarvis explains. 

_ That’s bad, right?  _ You have never felt like more of a newbie. 

“Loki’s scepter must be here,” Thor grunts. For a moment, you’re so shocked that you freeze midair, the breath going out of you.  _ That’s what they didn’t want to tell us.  _ You don’t have to look to know that Loki is also frozen in place. The weapon that has haunted him, that he used to murder dozens of people in cold blood, and control others… is here. He’s been trying to escape who he was, what he’s done and now he’s running back to it. Your heart squeezes painfully in your chest.  _ Poor minou.  _

“What,” Loki says coldly. Even though you understand it is not directed at you, you still get a twinge of fear in your heart. But, Thor just continues. He must have forgotten not to say anything. 

“Strucker couldn’t mount this defense without it. At long last,” Thor murmurs. 

“Hey, Point Break, your earpiece is still on…” Clint says worriedly. 

“Yeah, um, what the fuck?” you yell, “Why did no one want to tell us? Wait a second, are we taking this fucking home?” 

“Language!!” Steve yells right back, “No time for arguments. We needed you two to be on this mission, and I apologize for withholding the information, but you know that it was vital for your participation!” 

“No, no, no excuses,” you growl angrily into the earpiece. 

“Darling, please, you do not need to give Rogers a tongue lashing for me,” Loki says, his voice strained, “but I do appreciate it.” 

“We can talk about this later. This fight is lasting a bit too long. We need to focus,” Nat hums. 

“We will have words, many words, about this  _ brother _ ,” Loki hisses, the sound of metal swishing going through the earpiece. Thor’s response is a meek ‘sorry’. 

“Anyway, who thinks we lost the element of surprise?” Clint says playfully, trying to lighten the mood, and succeeding fractionally. 

“Wait a second. No one else is gonna deal with the fact that Cap just said ‘Language’? Twice?” Stark questions. You can’t stifle the small laugh that escapes you even as you smack an agent in the skull and break his machine gun. 

“I know,” Steve responds guiltily. You watch as he throws his motorcycle into an enemy vehicle. “It just slipped out,” he finishes. 

“You’re showing your age, Capsicle,” you smile underneath the visor, though the new information about Loki’s infamous scepter still irking you as much as you know you have to forget it. 

“Well, we know Strucker’s not gonna worry about civilian casualties,” Tony murmurs. Anxiety strikes you when you decipher what he means. 

“Should I-“ you start. 

“No, you stay there Flower Power. JARVIS, send in the Iron Legion. Danger Noodle, I need you on standby to get inside the fortress,”

You fight a while longer until you hear a struggle. The tech in the visor alerts you that it comes from Hawkeye. You’re flying over to check it out when you hear him get shot.  _ Fuck.  _

“Clint!” Nat shouts, “Fae, we need some med for Clint,” 

“Ten bucks says he’s gotten shot,” Tony snarks. 

“Not appropriate right- oof,” Steve says. You get an eye on what’s attacking the team as you shoot to Clint’s location: a silver blur that, once it slows, appears to be a silver haired man.  _ What?  _ They have to be some kind of mutant. You’ve had a few brushes with the X-Men… they’ve come to recruit you a few times over the years. But, you’re really good at mental illusions. They forgot, every time. As if to assure you of your assessment, Cap says, 

“We’ve got an enhanced in the field!” 

“Clint’s hit! We need you down here, Fae,” Nat repeats.

“I’m coming, there’s a lot of crossfire… I’m working on it,” you murmur, scared. You’ve shielded yourself, to allow for less damage on your person. The magic in you is depleting, fast. You know you don’t have enough to take down the guns, heal Clint completely, and portal him to the jet.

“Somebody want to deal with that bunker for Fae?” Nat asks. 

“I am coming-“ Loki begins, only to be cut off by Tony. 

“Nope Nope Nope, still need you to stay put like a good kitty cat,” Tony reminds him. Loki growls. Hulk, instead, barrels through it out of nowhere.

“Thank you!” You and Nat say at the same time. You dive down to Clint's side, and immediately start to heal him. You tell Nat your dilemma. 

“Heal him enough. We’ll get a doctor to do the rest. Save your energy,” she replies sternly. 

“But-“ 

“Listen to Nat, kiddo,” Clint groans. You nod and begin to heal him. 

“Drawbridge is down, people!” Tony calls out. You finish up Clint, healing him so that he’ll still be alive, just not fully healed. 

“The enhanced?” Thor grunts, the noise of him hitting people with his hammer coming through the radio. 

“He’s a blur. All the new players we’ve faced, I’ve never seen this. In fact, I still haven’t,” Steve replied curtly. You keep your eyes peeled next to Nat, who helps Clint up from the snowy ground. 

“Fae’s healed Clint best she can, but we’re still going to need evac,” Nat says into the comm. 

“Sorry…” you start. 

“Don’t worry bout it, kiddo. You did perfect,” Clint reminds you. You shuffle your feet, still upset you can’t help more. 

“Darling, do not fret. You are doing the absolute best you can,” Loki encourages from the fortress, presumably teleporting after Tony. 

“I can get Banner to the jet. The sooner we are gone the better. You and Stark secure the scepter, and someone watch Loki with it. He’ll get… strange…” Thor muses. There's a miffed noise from Loki, but no comments beyond that. It makes you wonder how it could make Loki react. 

“Copy that,” Steve affirms. Then they do their cool thing with Mjölnir on Steve’s shield. Even a ways away, the resounding clang it makes provokes a whimper as it hits your sensitive ears.

“Find the scepter,” Thor flies towards you, giving you a cheerful smile as he picks up Clint and goes back to the Quinjet. You take to the skies again, making sure there are no other reinforcements on the way. 

“And for gosh sakes, watch your language!” Tony says snidely. You snort in response, and can practically see Tony’s content smirk. 

“That’s not going away anytime soon, is it?” Steve states. 

“Not if I have anything to say about the matter,” Loki teases. You know he’s trying to forget about the scepter, so you don’t mention the fakeness of it.

After a brief scuffle, Tony lets you know that he has entered the main room inside the base. 

“Rock of Ages, Glinda, I need you two to watch out outside. We might need any one of you at any time… and if I catch you two having a quickie in a corner somewhere I swear to god you’re never going on another mission together,” Tony says idly as he hacks into the software. 

“I am unfamiliar with the term ‘quickie’,” Loki says confusedly. 

“Not going to be the one to explain it to you, bud,” Tony laughs. You blush deeply. You wave at Steve from up high as he runs inside the fortress to meet Tony, and listens as he sends Nat to soothe Hulk. 

“ _ Please be a secret door, please be a secret door…  _ Yay!” you hear Tony say from afar. He is away from the suit, and that's where the comm is. 

“Wait, secret doors? I want to see it!” you whine childishly, knowing this may be your only chance at your dream of being Indiana Jones. 

~~~~~~

It’s only a few more minutes, but absolutely nothing is happening. You’re completely bored, like a police officer stuck on crosswalk duty. Steve’s facing down Strucker, Tony’s being a tomb raider, and Loki’s still beating the shit out of any one still standing. 

“We have a second enhanced. Female. Fae? Do not engage, just watch out please.” 

“I’m watching. You okay?’’

“Fine,” Steve hisses out quietly. 

A small scuffle, then Steve tells all that Strucker is down. You hear the click of Tony’s backup earpiece coming online.

“Yeah, I got something bigger,” Tony murmurs, seemingly struck dumb by something. You’re immediately worried. If anything can shut Tony up, it’s got to be bad. Loki gives you a look from down below, and you fly down to him. Silently, you know he has come to the same conclusion. 

“Thor, I got eyes on the prize,” Tony tells him. Loki swallows deeply, like he’d been hoping that Tony wouldn’t have found it at all. You click the helmet off and move the mic away from your mouth as you reach down and grip Loki's hand. 

“You wanna head back to the jet, minou?” you whisper to him, meeting his eyes warily. His jaw flutters and his green eyes seem… fearful. More vulnerable than you ever really remember them being. You’ve seen everything from tricky to worried, and this one frightens you a bit. 

“I will remain here, with you,” he replied in kind, though squeezing your hand almost uncomfortably tight. You realize too late that Tony has been silent for way too long. Well, at least for Tony. 

“Tony?” you say into the mic, meeting eyes again with your paramour as you fear the worse. 

“Hey, I’ve got the goods. Heading back to the jet now. Let’s pack this up, shall we?” he replies quickly. You release a breath of relief, and allow Loki to hoist you in his arms and bring you back to the jet. When there, you are able to look at the powerful scepter that used to be Loki’s trademark. Until it was tampered with, and people tampered with the man attached to it. It is not hard to guess why Loki would not want to be in the same room as it. 

It is alluring, but terrifying at the same time. The aura that radiates from it prompts you to step back into Loki’s safe embrace. You can tell them that he’s shaking. Loki tried to steady himself on your head, resting his sweaty chin there, but it didn't stop it. Only makes you jiggle with his vibrations. 

“Mon minou, let’s go sit down in the back, hmm? I’m tired,” you tell him. Loki nods, attempting pitifully to not look too desperate to get away. 

“Aww, come on. I’m sure he wants to get reacquainted!” Tony teases. Loki’s so shaken that he doesn’t spit out a clever retort: only a small wounded animal noise escapes through barely pursed lips.

“Tony! That’s not funny and you know it!” You reprimand him, squeezing Loki’s hand.

“I’m your parental figure kid, I can say what I want,” he points a mocking finger down at you, and you raise your wings in a show of aggression. A large, strong, hand claps onto Tony’s shoulder.

“And, Anthony, I believe that I am your superior by upwards of 50 years. And I side with Fae on this one. Stand down, soldier. You’re dismissed, Fae and company,” Steve states, a perfect captain. Tony snorts, but listens and puts the scepter in a more secure casing. Loki lets out a scared little breath that only you pick up on, and with that, you lead him to a secluded corner where he can lay his head on your shoulder and you can rub circles into his back as Loki comes over the shock and fear of seeing his old weaponry.

~~~~~~

When you go get there, everyone goes and hits the showers. Loki entices you to his, and get more dirty in the shower than you were before. Then clean again, of course. Tony mentioned some sort of party to celebrate the victory later, and you know that you’re going to have to sleep now or pass out at the party later. It is crucial to have some kind of energy if you are to attend a ‘Stark’ party: they have a tendency to go hours after they are said to end, and the most interesting things happen as the night goes on. Wrapped snugly in a soft towel that Loki in a way only to be described as  _ lovingly _ draped around you, you go to his immense bookshelf and select a title from it. 

“Now, dearest, what are you doing now?” Loki sneaks up behind you, and grabs you around the waist. He’s already dressed again, of course. One of his fine suits. You shriek in laughter as Loki spins you around. When he sets you down, you hold out the book to him while simultaneously holding the towel around you. Loki takes pity on you and gives you some lounge clothes with a wave of his hand as he takes the book from you with a raised brow. You glare at him when you realize this outfit came with neither bra nor panties. 

“I don’t want it to hinder us if we decide to spice things up later…” he purrs. You twerk his nose as he leans in for a kiss and tap the book. 

“Read to me,” you instruct. 

“Oh, you’re so very needy,” he teases you. You pull on his sleeve and drag him to the bed. 

“I want to sleep before the party, buuuuut I also want to spend time with you. I’m thinking if I snuggle up into your bed with you and you’re reading to me, we can do both. I picked out a book from your shelf I could actually understand,” you explain to him. You watch as his smirking face melts into sweet adoration. 

“I’d like that. Are you sure about this one?” He lifts the book, Romeo and Juliet, with a raised eyebrow.

“Yup. You didn’t have a lot of books in English, and Romeo and Juliet is so beautiful,” you hum, jumping into his bed and nestling under the green covers. 

“You know, I would gladly translate another one of my texts into your own language, if you’d like,” Loki reminds you. You shrug, and gesture for him to start already. 

Loki sits right next to you, brushing his hair over one shoulder, and begins in his lilting voice. 

“Two households, both alike in dignity,” Loki says, and you snuggle in closer to his side with your wings wrapped around yourself, “In fair Verona, where we lay our scene…” 

You’ve passed out by the time Romeo and Juliet meet. Unconsciously, you weave your fingers into Loki’s nearby hand on the bed. He gives it a reassuring squeeze.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions comments concerns!! 
> 
> Also, thank you to Ms. Blue for the weapon!!


	24. 3-8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which things go from great to bad to great to worse.

**Loki**

She’d asked him to read to her. Kindly, with an innocent tone he would consider naive if it weren’t for her abundant knowledge that he also knows full well of. Loki doesn’t think he can fall any deeper in love with her, and then he does. He falls and falls and falls and falls. 

He could watch you sleep forever. Your steady breaths remind him to continue breathing. It is watching your chest rise up and down that he notices your nightmare. A small noise of distress escapes you, and it breaks Loki’s heart. He sweeps you up into his arms, pressing your face into his neck. You whimper in your sleep. 

“Shh, shhh, it’s okay, no one will hurt you. No one will hurt you anymore, I’m right here darling,” he sings to her quietly. Her noises cease, and Loki sighs. She snuggles into his chest, and it makes him forget about all the horrible things he’s done. If she can do that, how could he possibly be a villain? 

Loki wants to give the world to her. Every inch of the universe. There is no doubt in all of his extensive knowledge that she would be the best ruler, the most benevolent and just, ever seen. Simply brushing her hair back behind her ear makes Loki strive to be a better person, so that he may do it again and again. 

He wants to be connected with her. In every way possible. Inside her. Their hearts intertwined. Minds curled around one another. 

So, Loki does what he does best: magic. Every single spell he can think of. Every Jotun ritual that he remembers. Asgardian marriage rites that his mother had explained. Anything and everything he can do to get himself closer to you. 

Loki is not so bold as to force you to agree to them. For now, he will command himself to be content with the unrequited bonds he’s placed in your heart and mind and soul. If Loki focuses, he can feel the band connecting him to you as surely as he has felt chains around his wrists and knives in his hands. 

Loki easily slips into your mind and chases away the bad dreams of horrible people who had done horrible deeds. He, just as easily, replaces it with his love for you. Not pushing it upon you, never. But sharing it. Expressing the love he feels, that he thought he’d never feel. It’s the enduring kind that envelops him every day, swallows him whole in its inevitable fullness. He kisses your brow, and watches as the edges of your mouth perk up in sleep. 

“I’ll protect you from the whole world, my sweet. You are mine now. I protect what is mine,” he murmurs to your sleeping form, rocking you slowly before tucking you back into his own bed covers. You’re still exhausted, and it would be needlessly cruel to jolt you into presence for Loki’s own desires when you will need this crucial rest for later. 

He himself does not require the sleep: so he settles into another happy moment of watching you rest calmly. 

**You**

Loki has woken you up right in time: only thirty minutes before you have to be in the party room. Everyone is going to be there, including a newly healed Clint with the aid of a doctor. Helen Cho, you recall. Maria Hill is going to be there, and Rhodey, and all the Avengers, of course. Amongst a whole shit ton of Tony’s friends. 

There is a part of you, a very familiar part, that wants to run and hide in the nearest Oak tree. And then Loki touches your back lightly and it washes away. You give him a wide smile as you exit his room to go pick out a nice outfit for the event, as he is already adorned in a tailored black suit. 

Mulling over it, you don’t know when Loki’s learned to read you so well: presumably he’s picked up some of your tells over the course of this relationship. To let the others that you are on your way whilst allowing Loki to zip up one of your dresses (at this point, you’ve realized that Loki has made all of your dresses greens, blacks, and golds to match him. You can’t say that you mind all that much though), you call out to Jarvis. 

“Jarvis?”

No response. 

“Jarvis? Can you hear me?” there's a distinctive anxiety ridden tone in your voice now. Loki finishes the zipper and pulls you flush to him as he kisses your ear. You furrow your brows, pointing at the high ceiling accusedly. 

“Do not worry, darling. Stark and Banner have been in the lab all day. They have probably been repairing your computerized friend. Now, I do not want you to be all wound up when we go and rule this event, so let’s just forget worrying so hard, hmm?” he gives a small kitten lick to the cusp of your ear. It causes you to giggle, and immediately forget about the troubles. 

“Let's get going, mon minou. We’re late as it is,” you laugh, and Loki wraps a secure arm around your waist and rests his head on the first inwards curve of your horn. 

“As you wish, my love,” 

_ My own personal Dread Pirate Roberts.  _

~~~~~~

The party is, unsurprisingly, entirely overwhelming. But, Loki’s taught you a clever trick: focus on one person. It makes it liveable. You glance around to take note of all the friends in the room: Rhodey’s here! It would be nice to say hey to him. Been too long. Nat’s over there too, looking so pretty, and Bruce ran into another lamp. Thor telling war tales to some veterans, definitely not your style (not just because of the attention but because you’ve heard a lot already). You see Clint with the Helen woman. You make a mental note to say your profuse thank yous. Ooh, is that Maria Hill? Steve is having fun with another man you’ve heard him mention multiple times, Sam, you believe. Steve notices you, and gives you a wave and calls you over. 

“Minou, you wanna go beat the boys at Pool?” you whisper into his ear. His face scrunches up. 

“What is this ‘Pool’? Is it a game of skill, or combat?” he whispers back. 

“Skill. And it’s right up your alley,” you giggle conspiratorially behind a hand, dragging him over to Steve and Sam. Steve gives you a wide hug when you ask for one with open arms. 

“You saw me just a few hours ago,” Steve chuckles. You shrug, a smile on your face, before offering a tiny wave to Sam. 

“Hi, I’m-” 

“Fae. Rogers told me a whole lot about you,” he finishes, holding his hand out for a shake. You roll your eyes and pull him into a hug. He lets out an ‘oof’. 

“Probably should have mentioned that she’s a hugger,” Steve laughs at his shaken friend, clapping him on the back. You separate from him with a shrewd expression before turning back to your boyfriend. 

“Now, who is going to teach Lokes how to play Pool?”

They both give Loki worried looks. He returns them with a dark mischievous smile. 

~~~~~~

To no one's surprise, Loki wins multiple games. By multiple games, you mean, every game after he’d learned. Even if you’re paired up with him, he still manages to sink almost all of the balls in one turn. 

“Nah, man, this is no fun if you win so easily!” Sam exclaims. You laugh and kiss Loki’s cheek. His triumphant grin is too cute. 

“Let us go fetch a refreshment, hmm, dearest?” Loki produces an arm for you to hook yours in, and then you are gracefully led away from the pool table and to the bar. Maria, Thor, Tony, and Rhodey are having a conversation. And, as always, you can pick up your conversation as you sit on a barstool a few seats down as Loki orders drinks from you (non-alcoholic for you, of course). 

“So, no Pepper? She’s not coming?” Rhodey asks. 

“No,” Tony laments. You frown a bit, missing the redhead’s no-nonsense presence.

“What about Jane?” Maria adds on. “Where are the ladies, gentlemen?”

“Ms Potts has a company to run,” Tony says too stoically.  _ Trouble in paradise?  _

“Yes, I’m not even sure what county Jane’s in,” Thor boasts, “Her work on the Convergence has made her the world’s foremost astronomer.” You look away contemplatively. You’ve never met Thor’s elusive Midgardian girlfriend, as much as you’d like to. You and her are in the same boat, dating Asgardians. Except for the fact that you are just a little different, physically. And Loki’s more than a little different than his foster brother. 

“And the company that Pepper runs is the largest tech conglomerate on Earth. It’s pretty exciting,” Tony returns smoothly. You have to stifle a giggle.  _ Ball’s back in your court, Hammer Head.  _

“There’s even talk of Jane getting a Nobel Prize,” Thor says.  _ Nice move, buddy.  _

You’ve been so busy listening to the conversation, you didn’t even notice Loki approaching them. 

“Yes, brother, man of iron. Your paramours are truly something. But neither of them could make it here, hmm? Unlike my darling, who is trying to contain her laughter over on that stool?” Loki stirs his beverage nonchalantly. The two men look at him in surprise. 

“The man’s got you there, Tony,” Rhodey laughs. You slide off your stool, taking the sparkling drink that had been laid in front of you with you.  _ Boys _ . 

You float around the room. A few strangers greet you. You apologize to Clint again (and he convinces you that it really isn’t your fault) and thank Helen (she convinces you that it was her pleasure, and asks multiple questions on your healing abilities). 

Needing a bathroom break after drinking so much water at the bar, you sneak out of the room without anyone noticing. You’ve made it halfway down the hallway when a scary familiar voice calls out. 

“Hey, sweetheart. Nice dress, babe,” Harrison says. You slowly turn around to face him, shaking slightly. He looks exactly the same: same swoopy hair and handsome features. You take a step back. He takes one forward. 

“I never thought I’d see you in a party like this. All fancied up. You got a sugar daddy who treats you nice? Lemme guess, it’s Tony. Always had a thing for pretty girls, ’ccording to my dad,” he reaches up and touches your hair. You flinch away, a quiet “don’t touch me,” escaping you. “Aww, but why would I do that, sugar? You find me attractive, hmm?” 

“You-you hurt me!” You shout out. Harrison’s eyes produce an ironic softness. 

“Aww, don’t you worry about that. I was coming back for you. My dads got a whole hospital in his name, we would have healed you up real nice,” Harrison says, sick sweetness coating every word. You shudder again. 

“You know, I really didn’t mean it,” he approaches you, and you step back. Back right into a wall. Your wings spread out on the wall, a natural instinct to make yourself bigger when presented with an enemy. The horns adorning each wing point towards him threateningly, magic coming to your fingers. 

“I’ve got money. Was hiding low so that I could pick up a chick to keep, you know?” He says, swaggering even closer. “If it wasn’t for your little Asgardian guard dog, his futile and, to say the least, embarrassing attempts at loving you, you’d be safe with me right now. Not Tony Stark, just me. Harrison Hammer,” he smiles devilishly.  _ Hammer _ . Like Tony’s business competitor. The guy who tried to kill him! You try and push him away, but your fear weakens you enough that he can get a knee between your legs. Your magic fails, the petrifying terror at this whole situation chasing your confidence away. If you weren’t so horrified by the whole situation you’d feel guilty about this weakness. 

You begin to shake even harder as you struggle more. Harrison knows you too well, and apparently when he had assaulted you the first time he had found the cluster of nerves in your wing: he jams his fingers into it and you go all but limp. Frantically, your illusion magic fires off inside you (as it has with other cases of trauma) but Harrison simply squeezes the spot on your wing again and it dies away. For the first time ever: your magic fades from grasp. Not even a wisp is there… Usually your body would have passed out by now. But Harrison is using your body against you to keep you conscious. And now… all you have now is your voice. 

“Help-mmph!” You cry out, before his hand claps over your mouth. No one’s in the hallway. No one can hear your struggle. Your eyes wet. 

“It’s okay, shh, I’m here now. You can finally have a normal life,” Harrison smiles, in a soft way that horrifies you. He produces a syringe from a back pocket. You squeeze your eyes tightly closed. 

_ Please,  _ you think as hard as you can,  _ Loki. Please, Loki, Harrison’s here and he’s trying to kidnap me. Loki! Please, Loki, Prince of Asgard, Rightful King of Jotunheim, God of Lies and Mischief, whatever else. I don’t know what to do, I’m so scared I can’t get any magic to help. I need you, mon minou. Please, lover.  _

And apparently, that’s enough. A green mist appears behind Harrison. A loud and deep growl is emitted from it, before Harrison is thrown across the room. He hits another wall with a sickening crack. 

“You are never to touch  **my** woman, ever, ever, again, you slimy piece of filth, you worm from Hel. I should kill you, for even touching her again,” Loki steps in front of you, defending but very aggressive at the same time. Harrison scrambles away like a roach. “Do you understand, mortal? She. Is. Mine.  _ Mine _ ,” Loki snarls. The room is suddenly cold and electric, and Harrison is hit with a bolt of green lightning from Loki’s hand. Harrison convulsives on the ground for a moment before going limp on the ground. Loki approaches him, snarling and hands crackling with seiðr as he prepares to do… who knows. Something bad. 

You whimper. 

Loki’s head whips to your face, and your shaking form. He looks absolutely terrifying, demonic and unhinged. His eyes flash from green to red and back again. 

But once he meets your eyes, you can tell his heart breaks just a little and he dashes to your side to cradle you, all soft edges and love. The rage is still there, but he puts it aside so that he can be more suitable for settling you.

He wraps you up in a comforting hug. He pets your hair, whispers sweet comforts. Your heart returns to a normal pace rather quickly, Loki soothing you like no one else has or could. Kisses land haphazardly on part of your face: temples, tips of ears, nose. Every inch of skin, swallowing you so deeply in protective care that you can finally breathe again. You take a deep breath. 

“I will have that man, lest he even be called that, arrested and thrown in a dungeon so deep that he will never see the light. Perhaps I will cut his hands for touching you. For surely, if he is not out of my sight soon, I will probably sever him limb by limb,” Loki rumbles. 

You nod weakly, and Loki helps you to your feet. Loki nuzzles your neck adoringly with a purr, ridding you of the fearfulness entirely. 

“Are you okay, my darling? Did he hurt you?” 

“No, I-I’m okay, you came just in time. H-how….?” 

“I could sense a disturbance, so I went to locate you. And then I heard my name, titles and all, coming from my love with so much fear that it was inconceivable that I would wait a moment longer,” he sighs, trailing his hands down your arm. “Are you sure you are alright?” 

“I’m all better now that you came and rescued me, mon minou. It was… scary… but I don’t think what he was doing had any lasting effects. I’m already feeling better. Because of you. My hero,” you grin, assuring him of your safety. Sure, the last few minutes have been so much of a rollercoaster you’re still shaking, but Loki is the one of the only people you know that would never let Harrison hurt you, let alone touch you, again. Especially with how possessive and protective he is. 

Loki’s expression looks as if he could blast off to space with happiness at this point, you telling him of his heroism. Loki splits into two, leaving the clone to watch over Harrison’s comatose form and the original to search for security officers to take him away as soon as possible. 

More comfortable now in your safety than ever before: You wander up to a balcony overlooking the party, and let out a long and tired sigh. You lean on your hand, a dreamy smile forming on your face (the night air is almost as soothing as the quiet up there), as you watch Bruce apparently make moves on Nat.  _ Good for him.  _ Aaand there Steve goes. You can tell from your vantage point that Bruce becomes flighty once he gets confronted about it. 

Reminds you of yourself and Loki. But, Loki was and still is way more headstrong at first then comes the shyness later. It causes you to smile. And… think. Where are you now with minou? Especially after he went practically feral on Harrison earlier. 

“What are you thinking about so hard, darling dearest?” Loki purrs, appearing behind you sneakily. You can assume from his cocksure smile that Harrison is either imprisoned or dead. 

“You,” you turn and smile at him. 

“Ah, just as it should be,” he responds quietly, pulling you closer to him and placing your hands in his own. You barely take notice before he is leading you in a slow dance across the open air balcony. Very suddenly you are hit with all of those memories from the first time you’d slept with Loki: the dancing, just like this. 

You lean your head to be against his shoulder. He gives a purr of approval. It makes your wings ruffle in elation at his praise. 

“This is nice,” you say. 

“‘Nice’?” 

“Perfect, more like,” you look up at him, and capture his eyes in your happy gaze. His eyes crinkle in a sugary kind of joy. His arms move down to your lower back, and then your bodies are laying against each other. 

“Yes, I agree. You are perfect,” Loki states matter-of-factly. You sigh, shaking your head goodnaturedly at his continuous high praise. 

“I love you, you know?” he continues, pulling back so that he can look directly at you. 

“I-” 

You are interrupted quickly by Clint poking his head out of the door. 

“Hey lovebirds, we’re trying to lift Thor’s hammer. Do y’all want to have a go?” he asks, excitedly. Loki growls. Clint cocks his head, finally reading the conversation you’d been having. 

“Bad time, again, huh?” he says sheepishly. 

“Yeah…” you laugh nervously, walking out of Loki’s arms. 

“Well, are you coming?”

“Sure, why not.” 

You cast an apologetic glance towards Loki as you follow Clint down the stairs. Loki looks after you, hands outstretched still, twitching slightly. You tap Clint’s shoulder before running back to Loki and kissing him strongly. He exhales, finally, and lets you lead him downstairs. You find a place on the couch, behind Maria and by Helen. Loki stands behind you as you stare at Mjölnir, on a table full of drinks. Everyone is laughing and smiling. It’s a good environment. You can forget about Harrison: He’s already at a holding cell somewhere and Tony has already placed a bitch of a call with his dad. 

“But, it’s a trick,” Clint says, tapping some drumsticks on the table.  _ Where the heck did he get those from?  _ The answer comes to you quickly: Cooper, his son. He had had a drum set in his house. It warms your heart. 

“No, no, it’s much more than that,” Thor says, offering a bottle of drink to you, which you decline with a smile. It’s a miracle you’re still up and going at this hour, and drinking is not going to help you at all. Loki takes it though, pours a full glass. Been a longer night for Loki, poor guy. Steve salutes him. 

“‘Ah, whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power’! Whatever man, it's a trick,” 

“Please, be my guest,” Thor gestures towards the hammer. Clint rubs his hands together. 

“Thought you’d never ask,” Clint stands, “This is going to be beautiful,” 

“Clint, you’ve had a tough week, we won’t hold it against you if you can’t get it up,” Tony says into his glass. 

“Try your best, Clint!” You cheer from the sidelines. If anyone can lift it, there is no reason why it shouldn’t be Clint. He’s a great dad, smart, and strong. 

“You know I’ve seen this before, right?” Clint says, prepping to lift the hammer. He tries and tries, pulling it with one hand, but it doesn’t budge. “I still don’t know how you do it!” He steps back, laughing. 

“Looks like you are making excuses for your lack of worthiness, arrowsmith,” Loki purrs. Clint casts a glare towards him, and settles back into his spot. 

“Smell the silent judgement?” Tony snorts. 

“Stark, by all means,” Clint points at the hammer. Tony teases Clint, asks questions about how he’ll rule Asgard, and then proceeds to fail to lift it. 

Tony shakes himself off and calls an Iron Man glove to him. Still fails. Then, even with Rhodey’s hand pulling alongside him in the War Machine glove, it fails. 

Then Bruce goes, and he fails miserably, yelling “argggg!” as he separates from the hammer. You hide behind your hands, embarrassed. 

“Go ahead, Rogers, no pressure,” Loki laughs, petting your hair from behind you, as he takes pleasure in the foolishness of the men. You, Thor, and Loki notice it at the same time that Steve pulls: the hammer moves. Such a small amount that only those with enhanced sight could see it. You whip your head around to face Loki: he seems as shocked as you. You squeeze his hand, trying to communicate your question of “how”? Steve lets go, laughing and smiling, and sits back down. 

“I presume, this means, that Rogers is worthy,” Loki whispers to you, “But if he did not lift it now, it is for a good reason,” 

You nod, and paste a smile on your face. The others immediately go back to a funny conversation, and Maria moves so that Loki can jump over the couch and sit next to you. He cocks and eyebrow at Thor as well. You’re about to open your mouth when Tony’s hand clamps down on your shoulder. You turn to look at him, a smile already in place.

“How ‘bout you give it a try, kid?” he says. You smile shakily at him, but stand. You give Loki a worried look, but he seems encouraging. You know, deep down, that if you can lift the hammer it would break a part of Loki. The part that was beaten down so recently, when he was told that he would never, ever, be king, that he was never a true prince. Everyones eyes are on you, though, and you know you can’t put it away without too many questions. 

“Okay,” you squeak, and walk to the hammer. You put one hand on it, and….

  
No. 

No no no no no. 

You can pull it. It feels light, too light, too light knowing that it should be heavy. 

So, you do the only thing that you can think of: letting go before pulling at all. You lift your hands up in the air: “I can’t pull it! Too heavy,” you laugh. Fake, but real enough to fool the room. 

Except, for one particular god of mischief. Who seems completely torn apart. 

“I’m going to go… get some water…” you wave shyly, and practically run to the bar. Loki is behind you in moments, whispering in your ear. 

“You can lift the hammer of Thor, can’t you?” he hisses. You can’t help it, you begin to tear up. 

“I’m… sorry…” you gasp, wrapping your arms around yourself. “I’m so sorry, Loki, minou, I didn’t mean it, I don’t understand, it must have gotten it wrong,” you sob quietly. Loki automatically wraps his arms around you and hushes you,on instinct. “I-I didn’t want to, I knew it would… h-hurt you…” you gasp out again, tears streaming down your face. 

“It’s okay, do not worry, my sweet, I’m not upset,” Loki murmurs, squeezing your body tightly. 

“You’re lying,” you cry into his chest. He tuts and holds you tighter. 

“So, I am a bit upset,” he sighs. You sob into his arms, claiming you didn’t mean it. There is nothing worse than this guilt: you know you can lift it but you don’t want it. Loki’s wanted it forever and it’s unfair that you could do it so easily. 

“But, because I have tried all my life to be worthy and you can do it easily. Though I am honored that you felt you must hide your worth so that you would not hurt me emotionally. That is the very reason why you are worthy. And why I am not worthy of you, you compassionate charmer,” Loki tells you, holding you out so that he can kiss away your tears.  


It makes you laugh before long, and you have a moment of trying to escape his hungry lips, giggling all over the place, darting around the room. The others still argue about worthiness: You hide behind furniture and the bar, spinning out of Loki’s grasp each time he reappears to capture you. Finally, you give in, and your lips plaster together in mirthful smiles and passionate kisses. You pull on Loki’s hair: he keens into your mouth.  _ How much trouble would we be in if I just…  _

Then a loud buzz overtakes the room. Loki’s instantly on high alert, releasing you in favor of a defensive stance. 

“Jarvis?” you ask experimentally (hopefully). No response. There is a thumping sound coming from the hallway. You quickly shake yourself off from the play fighting with Loki and assume a fighting position. A mechanical, broken, robot stumbles in. 

“Worthy… yes… no? How can you be worthy? You are all killers. All but… her…” the robot points a gnarled metal finger at you, and Loki steps in front of you and growls low. 

“Stark,” Steve says. 

“JARVIS?” Tony responds. Everyone is frightened, and raring for a fight now. 

“I’m sorry, I was sleeping. Or, I was a-dream…?” the robot stutters. You squeak a bit as he focuses his empty eye sockets at you. 

Tony taps on his device quickly, trying to reboot the system. 

“There was a terrible noise...and I was tangled in... in...strings. I had to kill the other guy. He was a good guy,” the machine says. You shudder a bit at his voice, so metallic and gritty. And… kill the other guy? Who could he possibly… 

“You killed someone?” Steve asks, carefully, placatingly. 

“Wouldn't have been my first call. But, down in the real world we're faced with ugly choices,” the robot responds. You can see his logic, though you don’t want to agree with it. Killing is never the best option. 

“Who sent you?” Thor reaches for his hammer slyly. Maybe this robot was made by Hammer, as revenge for jilting Harrison? A knife appears in Loki’s hand, hidden from everyone but you. 

“‘I see a suit of armour around the world’,” it says, regurgitating Tony’s voice. Loki sends a shocked expression to Tony, that quickly narrows to one of hate. He pulls you closer to him, protecting you from this new potential threat. 

“Ultron?” Bruce gasps. 

“In the flesh. Or, no, not yet. Not this...chrysalis. But I'm ready. I'm on a mission,” Ultron tells you all, and it sends shivers down your spine. He talks like a possessed prophet. It is terrifying. 

“Peace in our time,” he breathes. Suddenly, there is Tony’s Iron Legion bursting through in every direction. You jump into the air as Loki jumps to action. So very quickly, everyone is fighting. You don’t have your weapon, so you are just flying around, trying to get out of the way. Diving behind the bar, you start throwing glasses at the robots: with pretty good aim if you do say so yourself. Bruce comes flying your way, thrown there by a robot, and you gently pick him up and set him down behind the bar. 

“Don’t go green!” Nat yells at Bruce. 

“I won’t!” Bruce calls back. People are jumping around, fighting the robots. Tony has landed on top of a robot, and Loki throws him a knife. Despite the wild battle, a part of you is delighted at them not actively tearing each other’s throats out. Finally, the fight is over. Yet, Ultron doesn’t seem the least bit perturbed by it. It’s not normal, and an exchange of looks between you and Steve makes it clear that he agrees. 

“That was dramatic! I'm sorry, I know you mean well. You just didn't think it through. You want to protect the world, but you don't want it to change. How is humanity saved if it's not allowed to...evolve?” His voice crackles as he speaks. There’s another heavy stare in your direction as he says “evolve”. You hide more behind Loki, who makes a silent snarl at the machine.

Now, finally everyone is as fearful as you. They have begun to pick up on how very very very wrong this ‘man’ is. Ultron lifts a disembodied Legion robot. “With these? These puppets? There's only one path to peace: The Avengers' extinction. Only one of you is innocent. Can you guess?” he cackles. Without warning, Ultron is blown to pieces by a blast of green magic. Loki tosses his hair over his shoulder, not balking even a little at the harsh looks from the others, only kissing your forehead protectively as he holds you securely to his chest. 

“I had strings, but now I'm free. There are no strings on me, no strings on me…” it takes you a moment to realize that it is Ultron’s disembodied voice singing Pinocchio eerily. You stumble towards the robot, confused and unnerved.  _ I will never watch that movie in good faith again. _ You do not notice that you are trembling until Loki sweeps you into his arms and coos quiet comforts for the third time this lopsided night. 

~~~~~

There is a lot of clamor to discover what had happened with Ultron and his creation. Thor was sent to track him down. You are set firmly inside Loki’s embrace as you walk to the lab with the others. Everyone is still shaken, but Loki remains a steadfast anchor so that you don’t float away. 

“All our work is gone. Ultron cleared out, used the internet as an escape hatch,” Bruce groans, looking through all of the computers in the lab. 

“Ultron,” Steve assures. Even the name… who the fuck came up with ‘Ultron’? Probably Tony, as Ultron so egotistical and wretched because of it. 

“He's been in everything. Files, surveillance. Probably knows more about us than we know about each other,” Nat explains. You look at your hands: he doesn’t know a whole lot about you. The only thing that’s on the internet about you is old foster child papers, the SHIELD report, and recent media articles. He has no idea about what happened between age 16 till now. And even then: you don’t think that Ultron would be interested in a celebrity article about theorizing in your and Loki’s relationship. 

Rhodey paces the room, “He's in your files, he's in the internet. What if he decides to access something a little more exciting?” 

“Nuclear codes,” Maria points out. Your eyes widen. 

“Do you really think that he’d do that?” You gasp, nails digging into Loki’s bicep. He winces, but takes it. 

“Nuclear codes is a very viable option, as much as I hate to say it. Look, we need to make some calls, assuming we still can,” Rhodey explains to you. You look away, frightened and wondering when things could have gotten wrong. Loki rests his head between your horns, pulling you in tighter insistently, and you can feel his worried and caring purrs softly resonate in your scalp. It has a calming effect, almost drug-like. 

“Nukes? He said he wanted us dead,” Nat reminds the room, casting you an apologetic glance when you look away. 

“He didn’t say dead. He said extinct,” Steve murmurs, his arms crossing. You tighten your grip, and Loki sighs and purrs louder to calm you. Thor gives Loki an odd look, and Loki returns it in kind with a death glare. 

“He also said that he killed somebody,” Clint mentions. You cup a hand over your mouth. To imagine, that sometime when you were fooling around at the party someone was fatally injured is sickening. Maybe Harrison wasn’t captured properly and he whisked off some other woman? 

You could have saved them. You know you can. You know you could have.

“Nothing you could have done, my sweet. Do not fret over things you can no longer change,” Loki whispers, rubbing your back soothingly. You give him a grateful smile, and he inclines his head. Reading you so effortlessly...

“But there wasn’t anyone left in the building,” Maria assures everyone, then gives you a special smile, “We’d made sure to clear out the area after the event ended. No worries.” You breathe out a deep breath. 

“Yes, there was,” Tony sighs, clicking on something on his pad. A 3D image pops up, looking completely ravaged. 

“Is that…” you begin, feeling like you are drowning. The noises of the room are suddenly quite far away. Washed out, almost. 

“This is insane,” someone says. 

“JARVIS was the first line of defense. He would've shut Ultron down, it makes sense.” 

You whirl to Tony, accusatory finger pointing. Tears run freely down your face, grief hitting you fast and hard. 

“How could you do this?” 

“Kiddo-“ 

“No, no, shut up! How could you do this? You-you killed Jarvis! That monster, he’s your creation! How could you?” You scream at him in anguish. Tony looks taken aback, horrified at your reaction. 

“He’s just an AI, we can rebuild another,” Bruce suggests. 

“No, no ones like Jarvis. He-he was my friend, he was so nice to me… and-and now he’s gone, forever…it’s all your fault, your stupid hubris and need to fix what isn’t broken… always  _ improving _ ! And now… and now…” you sob, falling to the ground. You pound the ground with all your strength, denting it slightly. Someone tries to reach for you, and you flare your wings upwards to send them flying backwards.

You’re screaming over and over again, and then when Tony attempts to place a placating hand on your back you’re up again and lunging for him with a rage previously unseen. Loki catches you, forcing you close to him yet again.

He lets you pound his chest angrily, tears flowing freely. Finally you gain some sense of tranquil, and let Loki surround you with his familiar scent and beautiful presence as you babble quietly into his chest. His black dress suit is undoubtedly ruined by tears and other fluids coming from your face, but you’re too grief stricken to feel bad about that right now. You barely take notice of the crackling sensation in the air, as well as the fact that the room has dropped a good ten degrees, Loki’s silent fury making itself seen yet again.  _ If Jarvis was here, the room would already be back to normal.  _ You cry more. 

“Maybe you guys, should go take a breath of fresh air?” Bruce suggests weakly, glancing between your quietly crying form in a livid Loki’s arms and a shell shocked and heartbroken Tony. He cannot look away from you, sobbing in Loki’s arms. Well, until Loki makes all sorts of threatening and possessive and quite possibly animalistic noises in his direction and everyone else’s. 

“We’ll work on creating a plan, you guys clearly need some time...” Steve says quietly. 

“If not for the knowledge that the love of my life would do good to not be in this room, you would have been swiftly disembodied by this point,  _ Stark _ ,” Loki growls, before hefting you into his arms. You cling to him desperately, a soft mewl escaping you through your tears, as he stomps out of the room. He barely notices as Thor runs in and begins to choke Tony. 

Loki doesn’t stop walking until you’re in his rooms. He builds a nest of blankets around you, brings you water, pillows. In a second, you’re in pajamas. The next: tissues appear in front of you when you need them, and he rubs your back repeatedly in small circles as you bawl into him. Loki is silent. His hands run through your hair, and you wish he’d speak. Say something about bringing Jarvis back from Vahalla or whatever. Nothing. 

“L-Loki?” You whimper, meeting his eyes sadly. He stretches his body closer to you, and lays his head on your shoulder. A kiss is placed on your neck. 

“Yes, my sweet sweet lover,” he whispers, “what can I do to make you happy?” 

“I dunno,” you snivel, wiping your nose on a tissue, “I’m just... so...  _ sad _ , Jarvis-“ 

“I know, I know, my love. I know,” Loki murmurs, “I’m so sorry.” You sniffle and look at him, deeply into his eyes. Loki’s lips turn down sadly, as if he knows what you’re going to say. 

“There’s no way to bring him back to the way he was, is there?” 

“I do not think so, dearest,” 

You weep more. 

“Please, please stop crying, darling, please, you’re breaking me. Tell me what I can do, please, to make you feel better. Please, my darling heart. Please,” Loki begs you. His hands run up your knees, and he kisses random places sporadically as if he doesn’t know what else to do. His eyes are wide and tearful, fragile and open. You hiccup, and look away from him. Now you know why he didn’t want to speak. He doesn’t know what to do. 

“Can you…just... hold me for a little while?” You ask, tearfully. His arms obey immediately, wrapping you up in his cool embrace before the sentence is finished. You dig your fingers into his shirt. With a poof of magic, the sort of abrasive texture of his suit shifts into a velvety pajama shirt. You sigh, and pull him closer to you to snuggle. 

“Thank-“ you start. 

“I’m delighted to be of service, any service at all, to you. You are my whole world, and I have felt nothing more painful in this life than when you are so somber, my sweet,” he murmurs. 

“I’m still mourning, minou…” 

“Yes, yes, of course. I wish I could help more. But at least you have ceased your tears, have you not?” 

“That’s true,” you say, the noise muffled by your face in his chest. Your eyelids droop. 

“You may sleep now, darling. I’ve got you. Your Loki is here. Nothing to worry about,” he sings to you, harmonious and serene. You smile sleepily at him, before sighing again and resting your weight fully on him. His breath stutters for a moment, before his cold lips brush your forehead. 

“Sleep. I’ve got you, my love. Everything is taken care of, dearest. My sweet, my heart, my darling, you needn’t worry about a single thing,” 

He keeps calling you kind and loving pet names until you fall mostly asleep. Then, when you’re just on the precarious edge of asleep and awake, he waves his finger in the air to readjust the nest and blankets so it envelops you better. Then Loki himself curls around you, and you can’t help but feel so cared for and so fucking  _ loved  _ that you instantly relax enough to pass out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions comments concerns! 
> 
> I’m almost done writing Age of Ultron, and whooooooo boy. 
> 
> Also, I brought Harrison back for round two. Kudos to anyone who was worried that he’d be back.


	25. 3-9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the singular threat becomes something much more.

**January 17th**

The tentative knock on the door is what awakens you. 

“H-hey? I drew t-the short straw, and was told to get you guys up… we have a lead on Ultron? You know, I’m going to hope you two heard me and then keep looking through the files. Uh, come in uniform as soon as you can, I guess? Okay, thanks…” Bruce squeaks from outside the door. You blearily wipe your crumbly dry eyes and sit up, trying to untangle yourself from Loki’s nest and legs. Loki’s arm reaches up and drags you back down to him. Your face is pulled down so that he’s eye level with you. The sharp pupils roam your face hungrily. 

“Let’s leave,” he whispers. Your eyebrows shoot up. 

“What?” You’re mad, sure, but not abandon-my-family angry. Especially so soon: Ultrons still at large. 

“He’s after you. Stark’s creation, that Ultron. We can leave, escape,” as he speaks, his eyes light up with joy at this exciting proposal, “I have a house that I’d acquired years ago. We can go there. Ultron will never find you, and I’ll keep you safe, and-“ you place a finger over Loki’s lips. He closes his eyes, knowing that you’re going to decline his offer. 

“Minou, he’ll still find us. He’s in the internet, everywhere technology touches. We can’t hide forever, and even if we did, that’s no life. He’d find us, and… he’s targeting me, but I don’t know what he wants. Maybe he’ll kill me, I don’t know,” you tell him. His face twists into a painful one. 

“I’ll protect you,” he says firmly, taking your pained expression for one of fear and not distaste. 

“No, Loki, he has all of those robots. Even you wouldn’t be able to defeat all of them alone. You’d end up killing yourself, and we can’t have that, now can we?” Loki nods pitifully, seeing your truth but not wanting to acknowledge it. “And I can’t just leave the Avengers. They’re my family too, you understand, mon minou? And they need us to help. The safest I’ll ever be, anyway, is with the Earth’s Mightiest Heroes,” you smile, running your hand over his arm. Loki hums, willing to adhere to your command. 

“And I want to personally beat the shit out of that motherfucker, okay?” You add on fiercely. Loki’s eyes go wide, and then a sly smirk. 

“There she is. Let us formulate a plan with the others, and leave the tears behind, hmm?” He glides a hand over the crest of your head and around your horns in the way you like. 

“You really didn’t like it when I was crying, did you?”

“No, no I did not. It-it… made me feel more useless than I have ever felt in my life, when you are upset like that. I hate it. Despise it,” he clenches his hands angrily together. You boop his nose to surprise him out of the frowny look he is currently sporting. You love the look he gets when you do that: his head shakes, a twitch, and his eyes blink rapidly in the sudden appearance of your finger in his vision. It’s very much a Lokitty thing to do, and you adore that. 

“You wanna just magically put me in my work attire as per usual or do I actually have to go get it on?” you hint slyly. 

“I spoil you terribly, don’t I?” 

“It’s true, you’ve made a monster,” you laugh. Loki’s body gives a small involuntary shake at your genuine laughter: perhaps sobbing into him for hours made him a little desperate for the bubbly noise. 

“Trust me, you are no monster. I’ve met monsters. You are an angel,” Loki whispers, library voice quiet. You turn to him, looking at him strangely. 

“I’m not an angel. You’re stereotyping people with wings, minou,” you snicker, escaping the bed and wiping your eyes again. Loki swings his legs to the edge of the bed and looks up at you. 

“You are my angel though. My Juliet, my lover, my sun. It is the East, and Juliet is the sun,” he recalls, Romeo's line from the Shakespearean play. 

“Mon minou, you don’t need to idolize me. It makes me embarrassed, actually, that you think so highly of me,” you begin, then laugh. “In fact, before you came along this is the first time I remember getting such high praise from anyone!” 

“Mhmm, you deserve it. So good to me,” Loki’s fingers dart up the pajama shirt you’re wearing, and he pulls on the bottoms insistently. You bat his hands away. Loki pouts. 

“Come on, Montague, let’s go plot the death of a Tin Man,” you grin, and yank him up. He returns the grin, and snaps his fingers to shift your clothes into the familiar bodysuit. 

~~~~~

“Hi guys, you two feeling better?” Clint calls out from behind a mountain of file boxes. You were surprised to see all of these papers about: then understood that it was because of Ultron clearing them out that they had to go old school. 

“I mean, less like I’m going to kill someone. Still grieving over the loss of my friend though. Is that better?” You add sternly. Clint looks away quickly. You readjust the black ribbon you’d tied to your wrist. Jarvis deserves your grief. 

“Either way, we’ll need both of you. We think we’ve found where Ultron’s heading next,” Steve explains. Bruce waves you over to the computer that he’s situated at. 

“He’s got the Maximoffs with him. Strucker's dead,” Maria tells you two on her perch next to Bruce. 

“Oh, well, okay,” you blurt, shocked that there wasn’t a run of the mill supervillain team up moment. The movies have lied. 

“The rest of us are going to get ready to go, and then head to the jet. Got it?” Nat instructs, and you nod. Loki points are you, like “I follow her”. 

As she passes by you, she whispers in your ear, “Maybe you should talk to Tony? He’s… not taking everything so well.” You scrunch your eyes up unhappily. Loki hisses at Nat in protectiveness, and steps backwards when she hisses right back at him. 

“I’m going to go talk to Tony,” you sigh, glancing at him putting the lids back on the file boxes. Loki squeezes your shoulder.

“You do not have to. In fact, I do not want you to,” Loki sneers in the man's direction. You tap his cheek with your palm. 

“Now, none of that. Forgiveness is a thing that can be freely given and is plentiful, and it would be cruel to not share something so bountiful like that,” you nod sagely. 

“Wise, my sweet,” Loki sighs. He knows at this point that you’re not going to back down: and who’s he to stop you from reconciling.  _ Look, he’s learning!  _ You give him a quick peck on the lips and then sneak over to Tony. 

“Tony?” You say, hands clasped in front of you. 

“Yeah, buttercup?” He doesn’t even turn to look at you. “You need something from me?” 

“Well, I just wanted to say… I forgive you. I’m still upset, and I miss Jarvis a whole lot, but I know it isn’t your fault. It’s Ultron’s. You may have made Ultron, which by the way, tampering with the scepter is not a good idea. Loki doesn’t even want to be near it anymore, so that means you shouldn’t either. Ah, going off on a tangent. Where was I?” You spill out all at once. When Tony turns to you, he’s got a small smirk on his face. 

“Forgiving me, being generally too nice to us as always. But I do… owe you… an… apology,” Tony cringes, as if it’s hard for him to admit. You smile encouragingly. Tony runs a hand through his hair. 

“I had no idea that you were such… great friends with my AI. Honestly, I didn't know that was possible. Ooh, now my brain is firing off,” he mimes neurons flashing, and Rhodey clears his throat from the other side of the room. Tony snaps his fingers and focuses closer on you. His hands are pushed together. 

“I’m sorry. Really really sorry,” Tony apologizes. With an expression that can only be described as  _ nervous _ , he holds his arms out in optimal hug position with his eyes closed. After a few seconds of nothing, he sighs and begins to lower his arms. You barrel into him, arms wrapping around Tony’s neck and you squeeze tight. 

“Thank you,” you murmur, and he hugs you right back. 

“I really… had zero clue. But I think he really liked you,” Tony murmurs into your ear. You pull back sniffling slightly. 

“Yeah, me too,” you look at Tony with a hopeful smile. “We gonna kick Ultron’s ass or what?” 

“To kicking ass!” Thor booms. You laugh in response, and then Bruce waves you over. 

“Is this the target?” 

“Yes. Ulysses Klaue. Illegal arms dealer, steals from a little-known country called ‘Wakanada’?” 

“It’s Wakanda, Bruce,” Maria reminds him.

“Yes, that. I’ve located his ship. It’s right off the African Coast,” 

“Bet you that’s where we find Ultron and the Maximoffs,” Steve hedges. 

“Would certainly make sense. What does he provide them with?” Loki asks. 

“The strongest metal on earth: Vibranium,” Bruce explains. You raise your eyebrows at Steve:  _ that  _ Vibranium? He nods. 

“Well, when do we leave?” You say, a smirk pulling at the edges of your lips as you open a small portal to take your naginata out of. 

~~~~~

Apparently, right away. You’re all corralled into the Quinjet and Clint begins to fly it there right away. There’s no fanfare this time, no time for meeting with the people. You’re on a mission. 

To avenge Jarvis first, and then stop from having to avenge the human race. 

Loki pulls on your arm only a few minutes before you’re close to the drop off point. 

“Darling, I have a bad feeling about this. Let’s call off the whole thing. You have fixed your ties with Stark. They will not mind if we leave now,” Loki insists. You run your hands up his battle leathers, all the intricate green and black flaps and zippers. His eyes roll back into his head for a moment until you meet his eyes again. 

“You know I can’t do that,” you whisper.  _ We’ve already had this conversation.  _

“Please. Can you imagine what that life would be?” Loki says wistfully. His arms wrap around you securely. “Just think it: We’d be together all the time. A single bedroom, for us to share night after night? Rolling fields to dance in? Expansive libraries that you’d never finish? I would provide for your every need, every whim fulfilled. We’d be away from everyone, no problems to ever hinder us beyond what you’d like for dinner. A-and then… oh yes, we’d get married. And children! Yes, you could bear me so many heirs. Little bits of you and me running about… hmm. It would… be perfect. Perfection. Don’t you want that, with me?” Loki begs you, gripping your hands and kissing your knuckles. “Just imagine!” 

And you do: it’s a very clear image, and enticing. 

“Mon minou…” you begin, a tinge of tiredness at having to repeat this conversation yet again. Loki looks away dejectedly. You have to reach up and cup his face again to get him to look back at you as the jet initiates its landing sequence. 

“I can’t commit to all of that right now. You know that I want to take it slow. It’s hasn’t even been a year yet,” 

“If I asked you to marry me, right here and now, would you say yes?” Loki demands. You step back, shocked (but only a little, this is Loki we’re talking about) at his forthcomingness. 

“I-I’d say… not right now. I’d say later,” you stammer. Loki drops you from his embrace, and you mewl in wake of the too-fast release. 

“So, no. You’d say no,” he groans quietly. It seems to physically pain him, and he moves to sit in his chair. His head rests in his hands. You follow and place a hand on his shoulder, and cringe when he shakes it off. 

“‘Wait a little bit’ is in no way a ‘no’, Loki. What makes you so desperate for this, anyway? We have all of our lives,” you smile at him. Loki’s jaw works, and when he looks up at you his eyes are red-rimmed. 

“I don’t want to run out of time. With you. You-you are mortal, you-you will  _ die _ even though I  _ love _ you, and then I will have to  _ live  _ after you are gone… and I-I dont think… I can do that, anymore. The-the idea… of trying to  _ endure  _ after you aren’t in my life, in any life, without being tied to you every single way I can recall… I-I can’t-“ he sobs brokenly, and you clap a hand over your mouth.  _ I’d forgotten. About the whole... life... discrepancies.  _

You hush him quickly, sitting beside him and squeezing his sides tightly. He holds back his tears, the rest of the team about to depart the plane to battle. Loki understands he cannot be  _ emotional  _ when doing a mission. You kiss his forehead quickly, and brush his hair back. 

“You’re not going to run out of time.  _ We’re  _ not running out of time, anytime soon, alright?” You command him. Loki hiccups and nods. 

“Perfect. Now,” you perfect his hair and straighten his outfit with a detailed eye, “let’s get to work.” 

“I would follow you anywhere, dearest,” Loki’s eyes are wide, and the silver tongue earns its name yet again. You blush. 

“Come on, flirt,” 

“If you guys are getting it on, just let us know, we’ll leave you in the car with Jolly Green,” Clint calls out from the pilots seat. You’re already packing a full force smile when you look up at him and say sweetly: “If we were getting it on, you’d know, Barton. Count your blessings that we soundproof the rooms with magic.”

Clint goes as red as a tomato and just tells you to get going. Loki raises his eyebrow as if to say “you want to?” You shake your head, but kiss his hairline. 

“Saving it for later, minou,” 

Rejuvenated by this, Loki springs out of the seat and trots after you with a pep in his step that lasts as he gets off the jet.

You squeal when he turns into Lokitty so you can carry him in your arms to the ship when you fly. As always, he’s perceptive, and meows loudly on the ground. Lokitty rolls around in the grass adorably, his little fuzzy paws batting the air. The rest of the Avengers are not immune: they gather around him and coo and aww, but he only has eyes for you. Lokitty jumps to his paws and purrs loudly. 

“That is criminal! This is Loki! He tried to enslave the human race! HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE ADORABLE!” Tony yells inside his Iron Man suit. Lokitty trots over to you, and rubs his head roughly on your ankles. He purrs more, and mews up at you when you meet his eyes. The pupils are fully blown, making him seem even sweeter. 

“BROTHER! I have never dared imagine you’d be so soft and kindred!” Thor sweeps Lokitty up in his arms and holds him out in Simba style. 

“Thor, I wouldn’t-“ you’ve warned him too late. The second Thor takes him away from you, it’s an entirely new Lokitty. He yowls and hisses, claws extended and whirling around wildly. He gets a few deep scratches on Thor before he unceremoniously drops Lokitty. You coo at him, squatting on the ground so that he can run into your arms. You lift him up and hold him tight. He gives a pitiful mew. 

“I know, I know, that mean blond foster brother of yours took you away from me! How horrible is he!” You tease him. Lokitty mews and gives you a wide eyed nod. Thor scratches his head confusedly. Like clockwork, when you boop his nose he goes cross eyed and sneezes.

“How-but-what?” Steve stutters. You wink at him, and then flap your wings hard once to take off into the air. There is a clear understanding in your mind that you need to have as much fun now as you can. Who knows what Ultron will do. 

The team bursts into the barge just as Ultron is yelling at Klaue about being his own person. You feel a bit bad: Ultron is so close to being a man but not quite. It sucks. And then you remember that he killed your friend, and it disappears. 

“Ah, Junior. You’re going to break your old man's heart,” Tony says, flanked by Thor and Clint. You keep yourself in the air above them, and the rest of the crew around here somewhere. 

“If I have to,” Ultron sneers. His eyes take in you, and you stare right back.  _ I’m not backing down now.  _ The two Maximoffs, the mutants, whatever, stand behind Ultron.

“We don’t have to break anything,” Thor says.

“Clearly, you’ve never made an omelet,” Ultron laughs. 

“He beat me by one second!” Tony groans.  _ Clearly related.  _

“Ah, this is funny, Mr. Stark. It's what, comfortable? Like old times?” The white haired Maximoff, Pietro, you remember, bites. You glance at him sadly. Tony was never this. Perhaps he was caught up in it, but never relished it. 

As if to verify this thought, Tony calmly responds: “This was never my life.” 

“You can still walk away from this,” Steve tells the Maximoffs. He’s doing the placating thing again, that makes you want to broker peace and then go out for beers. 

“Oh, we will,” Wanda hisses. Her voice is heavily accented, and you like the way it sounds.  _ Really sucks that we’re going to have to beat down.  _

“I know you’ve suffered,” Steve continues. If someone had approached you like that when you were in a cinch, you would have allowed Steve to whisk you away in an instant. 

“Uuughh! Captain America. God's righteous man, pretending you could live without a war. I can't physically throw up in my mouth, but…” Ultron bemoans. You cringe at the words. They are true, but in an interpretive way that isn’t what the truth is. Captain America was created for war: but to end it, not destroy people. 

“If you believe in peace, then let us keep it,” Thor ensures. You attempt a friendly smile at them, encouraging for a peaceful resolution instead of any bloodshed. 

“I think you’re confusing peace for quiet,” Ultron hisses.  _ I like quiet.  _

“Yuh-huh. What's the Vibranium for?”  _ No Tony! We were getting somewhere!  _ You smack your forehead internally at his harsh tone. 

“I'm glad you asked that, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan!” Ultron laughs, and the Iron Legion comes busting inside the hold. The twins and the robots and Ultron himself are all fighting now, weapons whirling about. Over the comm, Loki frets. 

“Dearest, would you like my assistance? Do you need me?” He worries. You bring out your naginata from your back and thrust the bladed tip into the chest of a legion robot. The light fizzles out, and you drop it to the floor with a quiet apology. 

“No, mon minou, I’m fine so far. Keep on keeping on,” you tell him, kicking another robot and headbutting the next. Loki hums, a “if you say so” evident.

“Actually, be really helpful if the rest of the team got in here,” Tony grunts, planting a kick to Ultron’s chest. At Tony’s command, Clint, Nat, and Loki appear in the room to continue the fight. Steve finally downs Pietro. 

“Stay down, kid,” Steve says sternly. The team spreads out to find the rest of the robots. 

“Guys, is this a code green?” Bruce squeaks over the headset. 

“Best keep Hulk in the backseat for now, thank you Bruce,” you remark. Thor makes a loud grunt over the comm. 

“Thor! Status?” Steve asks. You’re already worried, noticing that Wanda has disappeared from the fight. To look for her, you soar out a broken window and into the air. 

“The girl tried to warp my mind. Take special care, I doubt a human could keep her at bay. Fortunately, I am mighty,” Thor mentions over the comm. Warning bells ring wildly in your head, and you speed up the search for her outside. 

“Steve? Nat? Did you find her?” You ask frantically. There’s no response.  _ Crap.  _ You zoom back inside, making sure to stay in the air so  _ maybe _ she can’t reach you.  _ Wait a second.  _

“Loki? Mon minou, are you alright?” You whimper. 

“I am fine, sweetness. I am looking for the witch as well,” he responds quickly. You sigh in relief. 

“Good, I was worried that-“ you’re cut off by the sound of another person by Loki’s side of the communications. 

“Ah, the Master of Illusions. You will need a little extra effort, yes?” Wanda says sinisterly, right into the headset. “Now, if you can hear me, little Fae, I really do apologize. He didn’t want to upset you, but this is vital.” 

“What are you doing?” You scream into the headset. Your heart races, Loki’s name pounding with each pump. Pulling down your headset, you quickly find Loki’s location and simply portal right to him. You find him slouched on the ground, staring blankly at nothing. 

“I've done the whole mind control thing. Not a fan,” Clint smirks, the sound of an electric arrow going off resonating through the comm. you reach down to Loki, sitting beside him. “Yeah, you better run,” is said. 

“Loki?” You ask tentatively. There’s no response. “Loki, lovely, can you hear me?” You brush his hair back from his forehead, and gaze into his eyes. He slowly blinks, and makes a small noise with a puff of air from pursed lips. 

“Whoever's standing, we gotta move! Guys?” Clint yells into the comm. 

“Loki’s down. I-I can’t get him to respond to me, he’s just staring ahead at nothing. Loki!” You shake him hysterically, then stop when you realize what you’re doing.  _ This is not a soap opera. I-I can figure this out. Heal him.  _ A boom echoes somewhere in the ship.  _ Maybe in a little bit.  _

“Let’s round everyone up, Clint, and bring ‘em back. If Thor, Steve, and Nat are anything like Loki they’re not going to be any help. It’s like they're lost in their minds,” you whisper. You run your hands down Loki’s face. He blinks. 

“Come on, minou, can you get up for me? Please?” You beg of him. He stares blankly at nothing. You make an involuntary whine and grasp his hands in yours. They feel your palms slowly, as if he doesn’t remember how they are. You pull him up, and squeeze his hand. When you try to let go, he pants a little and whimpers. 

“Okay, I won’t let go. I’m right here, chaton, no worries. I’ve got you,” you tell him, attempting the ruse of an upbeat person to hide your terror. It’s a slow process to get him to where Clint told you to meet. He’s found Nat, who seems to be in a similar vision state. 

“Team! Sabrina’s got Hulk on a rampage!” Tony yells into the comm. “Natasha, I could really use a lullaby. Or Fae, for that matter,”

“Well, that's not gonna happen. Not for a while. The whole team is down, you got no back up here,” Clint tells him. You sit Loki down next to Nat, and you take your hand away from his, he whines pitifully. 

“Baby, it’s alright, I just got to go catch your brother. I’ll be back in a minute, okay?” You kiss his forehead, and throw up in your mouth a little when you feel how clammy and hot it is. Like Loki’s running a fever, an near impossible feat for a frost giant. His eyes are still unfocused. You sigh, and look at Clint. He gives you a sidehug. 

“I’ve never seen anything like this. I’ll get Steve and you’ll get Thor and then bring them back here? Then portal back to the get to lick our wounds?” He questions. You nod, not trusting that if you speak you won’t either puke and/or cry. It’s quick work to find Thor and Steve and bring them back to the Quinjet. You and Clint corral them into a large portal. Loki refuses to move, instead curling up on the ground with a whimper. He’s shaking wildly. Clint gives up trying to haul him to his feet. 

“Treehugger, you try. I can’t get him to budge,” Clint sighs in defeat, before walking through the portal. You nod tensely and squat down to Loki’s level, and push his hair behind one ear. 

“Come on chaton, please. You’re going to make me cry again, and I know you hate it when I cry,” you whisper to him. There is no response besides a small shiver to what you have said. 

“Okay, okay, I’m going to lift you up chaton. And then… then I’ll stay with you in the jet, alright?” Again, there is no verbal response.  _ Wanda wasn’t lying. She hit him hard.  _

_ I’m going to fucking kill her.  _

You try to push the thoughts out of your head as you heft the lanky god to his feet. A dribble of drool seeps out of his mouth as you hold him up. You wipe it away with an illusion of a napkin. He blubbers. You realize then just how much you hate this: this is not the well-dressed, elaborate and intelligent man who asked you out and said he loves you. 

“Come on, mon minou. Let’s go,” you cry softly, squeezing your eyes tightly to stop them from escaping. “I should’ve listened to you, we should have never come here,” you weep. Instead of consoling you like he usually does, he just stands there awkwardly like he can’t even hear. You grab Loki’s hand and look into his eyes deeply. They are still blank beautiful marbles. 

His thumb brushes your hand, and he hums happily. 

“Yeah, I’m here, honey,” you sigh tearfully. You have to pull him along, straining to make yet another portal to the jet. He follows you willingly, as if you were the only thing he sees. Or feels. 

When you finally walk into the jet, baiting Loki every step of the way with small caresses and pulls on his hands. The only way he’ll even stumble forwards is if you tap his hands and then whisk them away. But the noise he makes, oh god. It’s heartbreaking. Worse than when he made those sad little noises as a cat. This is a loud crushed sorrowful yelp. Like you’d hurt him. It’s not even words. 

“Okay, mon minou, a few more steps. Then-then we can lay down, and-and I’m gonna try and bring you back,” you tap his wrist again, and Loki cries out painfully and lurches forwards. Finally, he’s up the gangway and into the ship. Everyone else is there: as you settle an empty eyed Loki into a chair, Clint explains how Wanda made Bruce Hulk out… but it wasn’t Hulk, it's more of a Savage Hulk. Uncontrollable. 

“Should I- go help?” You whisper, looking up from a slack Loki to Clint. 

“No, I don’t care if Tony wants you there. You’re in no shape to go after and work more. Honestly, I don’t know how you’re still holding it together,” Clint canjoles. You look up at him with weepy eyes. 

“I’m not. Holding it together, I mean. I’ve never… seen anything as horrible as this,” you murmur: Loki’s head lolls to the side, a bit of tongue peeking out lazily. You hum little things under your breath as you fix his positioning. 

“Clint… I-I’m going in. His brain, memories. I don’t know what it’s going to look like, but I need to try and see the damage. If I’m ever going to fix him,” you tell Clint shakily. He claps a hand onto your shoulder. 

“You’re really a hero, Fae. It takes a lot of strength to be able to do this, especially when it’s someone you love. I’ll get the Quinjet running,” Clint saunters off. You don’t even have the time to tell him that you haven’t said the whole ‘love’ thing back. But right now, you have to try and save him so that… maybe… you can say it. To his face. As if to try, you brush his hair back and stare into his blank eyes. 

“Loki. I love you,” you say sternly, as if you were reprimanding him. It sounds so right, and everything is perfect, until Loki doesn’t say it back. Instead, there’s a gurgle in his throat as he chokes on some spit. 

“Oh, honey, I’ve got you. Let me help,” you cry, tears finally flowing freely from your eyes. You make another napkin and clean Loki up before he can hurt himself. You brush his hair back again, letting your hand run over the curvature of his skull. 

“I’m going to help you, mon minou. Okay? And then I’ll tell you again for real. You’re-you’re going to be so ha-happy,” you snivel, attempting to rein yourself in. You need to be able to focus if you’re going to be able to enter his mind with that spell he’d taught you. Taking a deep breath, you push your hand to his forehead. It pulls you in immediately, his brain frantic and all consuming. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions comments concerns!


	26. 3-10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which sweet loveliness springs and the most horrible and terrifying things peek around the corner.

< _ ‘Mon minou? Are you alright?’  _

_ Loki wakes up in a cold sweat, a scream lodged in his throat. He looks up at you frantically. Your eyes search his face lovingly, brushing your hands over his face. Loki sighs, at peace easily in the caresses of his wife. And his soulmate, hearts connected through so many different ways.  _

_ ‘Just a nightmare. As usual, chased away by your light, my darling sunshine,’ Loki purrs. You throw your head back and laugh, backlit by the sun from the bedroom window, and Loki cannot imagine a more perfect or heavenly sight.  _

_ ‘You flirt!’ you tease, booping his nose. Loki jumps out of bed, his pajama pants hiding nothing, and wraps you in his arms. You squeal as he spins you around in his arms, and when he sets you down his lips are plastered onto yours. They move together with familiarity. Loki separates with a smile, and then works his lips down your neck, nipping at the mate-mark on your shoulder. You sigh, curving into his body.  _

_ ‘I can’t imagine you have any energy left after last night…’ you smirk at him shrewdly.  _

_ “Mhmm, whatever do you mean?’ he shakes with laughter into your shoulder.  _

_ ‘You really want me to say it?’ you put your hands on hips in a picture of playful confidence.  _

_ “Mhmm…” _

_ ‘Well, you hammered my cunt for fucking hours so much that I’m  _ still _ sore from it. In a variety of frankly  _ creative _ positions. And even though it wasn’t a full moon and I’m not supposed to be fertile right now, I want to say that you’ve forced nature out of her way and gotten me pregnant again,’ you huff in fake hatred, paired with a comical frown. Loki kisses it away, rubbing your stomach lovingly.  _

_ ‘Imagine, more of mine in this…’ he purrs seductively. You can’t hold back the smile.  _

_ ‘Mommy, can I eat the frenchy toast now?’ a small adorable voice calls out. Loki and his wife turn to the doorway where a small toddler with tiny little horns and wings sucks on her finger.  _

_ ‘Now now, my sweet, what have we talked about with the fingers, hmm?’ Loki smiles softly at his daughter as he stoops down to be level with her.  _

_ ‘Don’t do it?’  _

_ ‘That’s right. What do we do instead?’ _

_ ‘Ball!’ she breaks out into a large beaming smile, one that is so reminiscent of her mother it makes his heart stutter.  _

_ ‘Yes, sweetness, let’s go get that, hmm? Then we can go eat the scrumptious ‘frenchy toast’ that Mommy made for us and your siblings,’ Loki kisses her small forehead.  _

_ ‘Thank you, Daddy!’ she squeals, and kisses his nose sloppily before running off to get her squishy ball. The second she's gone, his wife pounces on him and jumps. Loki catches her, and takes the passionate kiss she gives him with zeal. You smile at him breathlessly.  _

_ ‘Darling, whatever was that for?’ _

_ ‘You’re such a fantastic father, Loki,’ she hums.  _

_ ‘Well, as much as I would like to… continue this delightful change of events,’ he dances his fingers down your thigh, ‘We should go out and feed the hungry masses in the kitchen. Speaking of, how have you distracted them long enough to awaken me?’ She gives him a mischievous smile.  _

_ ‘Go Diego Go, bitch,’ she croons. Loki bursts out in laughter and drops you. You peck his cheek once more, knowing of his infatuation with your sudden breaks in character, and then you’re gone, running downstairs to fix the last of breakfast.  _

_ Loki takes his time, putting on an old Avenger’s tee, long retired from heroism to have this dream of a home. Norway is beautiful this time of year, and the large manor he’s settled in with his ever growing family is absolutely perfect. The house had originally been completely barren, but the moment you had entered it became brighter and over the years full of gorgeous things for every reason.  _

_ The happiness and sugary delight he feels in each waking moment fills him. The perfection of each second that passes is a fact not lost on him.  _

_ This is what he has always wanted. And it is everything.  _

_ ‘Daddy!’ a choir of voices sings out. A pair of twins, Asgardian in their colouring, perk up from the couch. Loki chuckles as he embraces the two of them. The eldest, a Jotun male with small black horns, glances up from his spot on the couch. He has dark eyeliner and seems to be hostile but Loki trots over just the same and kisses his forehead. Loki will never allow for there to be the same rift between Odin and him between him and his children. He loves them all. And loves them equally.  _

_ ‘Daaad, stop it,’ his eldest groans.  _

_ ‘I will force you into my love!’ Loki demands, puffing his chest out in mock intimidation.  _

_ His preteen rolls his eyes, but offers Loki a small smile. Loki cocks an eyebrow in triumph.  _

_ ‘Come on now, we have breakfast all ready,’ Loki turns off the television. The twins complain briefly, but Loki sweeps both of them into his arms and whisks them to the kitchen table.  _

_ Loki growls playfully, spinning the girl and boy in each arm. They scream and giggle. He then sets them down when they beg for release.  _

_ You’re already placing the steaming dish of French Toast upon the table. She gives all the children, all four of them, a wide smile. And they smile back.  _

_ Because they love her. Of course they do. How could they not? She’s perfect. Absolutely completely perfect.  _

_ ‘Mon minou, what are you thinking about?’ _

_ Ah, my sweet.  _

_ ‘You. Always you,’ Loki sighs as he helps the children with their food. You flush under the praise, and Loki gives you a kiss on the cheek.  _

_ ‘Eww, PDA,’ your eldest says through a mouthful of toast. He gives Loki an exasperated look through red eyes.  _

_ ‘I think he gets it from Tony,’ his wife giggles in his ear. Loki rolls his eyes.  _

_ ‘Hey, Loki, did you think about the… idea we had?’ She pulls him aside, outside the kitchen.  _

_ ‘About…’ _

_ ‘Yeah. Do you want to bear the next baby?’ she whispers, out of earshot of the kids. Loki flushes.  _

_ ‘I-I-’ _

_ ‘You don’t have to say something right now… but I know you’re into it,’ she grins lopsidedly and ruffles her wings, ‘And it’s only fair that it's your turn!’ _

_ ‘I’d be honored,’ Loki holds her hands tightly. She puts her hands on each side of his face, and he offers up a small purr.  _

_ ‘Well, we better get on top of that as soon as possible, ehh?’ she confides darkly. Loki feels arousal developing low in his belly. He makes a silent snarl that sends her into an excited mewl, baring her delicate neck for Loki to bite into.  _

_ It’s interrupted by his youngest girl, squealing,  _

_ ‘Mommy! Daddy! There’s a doughnut rocketship outside!’ His lovely, loving, beautiful wife gives him a confused look. Unease is pooling in every pore, excitement vanishing as his mind works. Loki dashes to the patio sliding glass doors, and one glance confirms his worst fears.  _

_ Thanos. Thanos is here, Thanos is coming for his wife, his children, his family.  _

_ No no no no no no no no  _

_ ‘GET THE CHILDREN TO THE BASEMENT,’ Loki yells at his wife. She can sense his overwhelming fear and protectiveness, and listens. Storm clouds appear in the sky outside, a thunderstorm brewing. He turns into fighting leathers, and watches his sweet babies flee downstairs for perhaps the last time.  _

_ His eldest son. About to reach maturity, dark and brooding, so much like him it scares him. Studious at times, and social at others. But so kind and caring with his siblings, bits of his wife peeking through.  _

_ His twins, girl and boy little Asgardians. Troublemakers, mischievous. Carefree, quick to laugh. Racing around this house like maniacs rising holy Hel and then passing out in the hall moments after.  _

_ And the youngest. The most like his wife, physically and mentally. Always surprising her father and mother with little gifts. Jumping into Loki’s arms with a quiet ‘Wove youw daddy’.  _

_ They are all pushed into the basement, everyone high strung at this point.  _

_ Loki would sacrifice his own life a hundred times over before he lets anyone put a finger on his babies.  _

_ And _

_ And his wife.  _

_ No one will ever lay a hand on his wife.  _

_ The love of his life.  _

_ His everything.  _

_ If he loses you… then he is as good as dead.  _

_ He takes the steps to the door and opens it.  _

_ There he is. Thanos, the Mad Titan and his Black Order. They are all stone faced, all staring at him. Those who tortured him over and over. Broke his mind in so many different ways. In such a way that he was completely wrecked until… until… his wife. Lightning strikes a ways away.  _

_ ‘You failed me, Trickster,’ Thanos rumbles.  _

_ ‘My deepest apologies, Titan,’ Loki wills his voice not to shake and to stand tall.  _

_ ‘That is not good enough, Asgardian. You have failed me. Took away a valuable chance and valuable resources. So it is only fair that I would take something from you.’ _

_ His heart hits his feet.  _

_ No no no no no nononononononnono _

_ A member of the Order appears, his wife angry and struggling in his vise of a grip. He removes the hand that was covering her beautiful mouth.  _

_ ‘Who are you? What are you doing? LET ME GO, ASSHOLE!’ She yells. You find Loki’s eyes. He gives you a desperate look.  _

_ ‘Loki?’ she whimpers, quickly frightened at the helplessness he has lodged in his eyes. Tears spring to his eyes as the green one lifts her sword.  _

_ Loki lets out a mighty roar and snarl and then he is running towards her, to save her. Knives are in his hands in the air _

_ A strong arm holds him back. His magic fails in the wake of his all consuming fear and mania. He thrashes, canines bared in growls, and then quickly realizes it is no use.  _

_ Loki falls to his knees on the ground. The man behind him lets him.  _

_ ‘Please, no. Don’t-don’t hurt her, please, she’s my everything,’ Loki cries out, begging (what he’s promised to never do to another), ‘Take me, she’s done nothing, please! She-she doesn’t know, doesn’t deserve this!’ Thanos is stoic.  _

_ ‘Loki? Husband, what…’ She chokes out. Loki meets her terrified eyes once more.  _

_ ‘Love, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I love you, I’m-’ his stammerings are interrupted by… by a blade slicing through his wife’s beautiful throat.  _

_ There's an inhuman scream, from her or himself he cannot fathom. The bonds connecting them are severed in one brutal strike. It snaps back, hitting him in the chest. Her body is crumbled on the ground. Loki’s eyes are blurred by tears and pain. His vision is slanted but he crawls towards your body nonetheless.  _

_ He reaches you, and holds you tightly. Blood is everywhere, and his body shakes as he holds you. Your eyes are unseeing.  _

_ You can’t be dead.  _

_ I need you.  _

_ Please.  _

_ ‘Dar-darling, no, noo,’ Loki sobs hard, squeezing your body desperately, ‘I-I love you, you-you can’t- the kids-’ _

_ He sits up straight. The kids. He still has the kids, his babies, parts of her-  _

_ Four bodies thump around him, thrown there by Thanos. Bleeding, dead, tortured bodies.  _

_ Of his children.  _

_ He sobs more, not registering Thanos and his Order leaving. More thunder and lightning.  _

_ He pulls them closer to him, so he can be surrounded by his family.  _

_ His heart is shattered. He is broken, so broken, all Loki can feel is heartbroken helplessness.  _

_ In a flash of lightning, his family is gone.  _

_ ‘No, please, don’t take them,  _ **_please,_ ** _ they’re  _ **_everything_ ** _ ,’ Loki is weeping, mourning the loss of the only ones who ever mattered.  _

_ There are now five unmarked graves. Wait, six.  _

_ A small one beside his wife.  _

_ Another child, one he never got to adore. Never even got to see, never got to produce.  _

_ Loki sobs harder, harder, his magic coming back with his anguish. It causes the surrounding area, the house, everything to be set aflame.  _

_ Green flame swallows up the manor hungrily. Loki wants to die in the burning fire that surrounds him, mirrored to the one in his soul and heart. He reaches towards it, tears marring his sight, grabbing at it. He doesn’t want to be here. It  _ **_hurts_ ** _.  _

_ He _

_ Wants _

_ To  _

_ Die  _ > __

You gasp for air, tears flowing down your cheeks. Before you can escape the frantic grab of Loki’s trauma stricken mind, it drags you back in. 

< _ Die _

_ ‘Please, let me go with them, I WANT TO BE WITH THEM!’ Loki screams. ‘I DON’T WANT TO BE WITHOUT THEM!’  _

_ The fire dances on him, burning him painfully, more painful than most with the Jotun genes.  _

_ He lets the fire eat him up.  _

_ He wants it to, as he cries endlessly.  _ >

Like a record, the memory fizzes back to the beginning. 

< “ _ Mon minou? Are you alright?”  _

_ Loki wakes up in a cold sweat, a scream lodged in his throat. _ >

Finally, you escape, Loki’s anguished screams echoing in your mind as you run from it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, questions, concerns!


	27. 3-11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you've learned something, and are rejuvenated in the quest to bring Loki back.

Strong arms catch you as you fall. 

“Hey, kiddo, you okay? You look… terrified,” Tony asks worriedly. He must have returned from the fight. You notice that the Quinjet is actively in the air, but it is a thought both unimportant and fleeting. 

You are crying, crying without your knowledge. Tony doesn’t know what to do. 

“T-Tony, it was horrible, what’s happening in his mind, Tony,” you cry out, “I’m never going to be able to fix him, he’s going to be stuck in that repeating hell forever,” 

“Hey, hey, hey, the others are already starting to recover. He’s going to be okay,” Tony tries to convince you. You shake your head violently. 

“Hey, calm down, kid. It’s alright, you’re safe,” Tony coos. 

“Tony, I couldn’t even hold my own in there, couldn’t heal him at all,” you sob, holding onto his shirt. Tony gulps awkwardly before giving you a comforting hug. You finally calm down enough to go sit next to Loki. He has been whimpering this whole time, his hands twitching and reaching out in the air blindly. 

“Mon minou, I-I’m here now. What’s happening in your mind, I’m so sorry. None of it’s real though. I’m right here,” you tell him, reaching out and gripping his hand. Loki makes a little gasping noise, and then a delighted hum. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” you murmur. Loki jabbers something incoherently. 

You wince, and take a look at a shell shocked Bruce wrapped up on the Quinjet floor to distract yourself. Loki’s head lolls to the side when you’re not holding him upright. He’s somehow wiggled out of his harness. You have to fix him up, like a baby. 

The ragdoll physics of such a beautiful strong man kills you. You have to dab away drool and occasional tears from Loki’s face. A quick look at the others hurt by this spell shows that it’s truly already fading on them. Loki is still in such bad shape it makes a part of you wonder if he’ll ever be back. 

“Fae, if you were wondering, I’ve already checked in with Maria. Obviously, Ultron and the Maximoffs are long gone. And, hey, Clint, you wanna switch out?” Tony shouts to the front. You rub Loki’s lower arm reassuringly. 

“No, I’m good. If you wanna get some kip, now’s the last time, cause we’re only an hour or so out,” Clint tells you both. 

“A few hours from where?” Tony questions suspiciously. 

“A safe house,” Clint smirks. 

“Are we-” you perk up, releasing Loki’s arm for just a moment. He cries out his heartbroken noise, the beginnings of a sob, and you quickly return your hand to him. He whimpers, fearful of being alone for just moments. 

“Yes,” Clint sings. 

“What am I missing here?” Tony pipes up. You laugh loudly, despite the situation at hand. Tony keeps questioning about your shared secret. You can’t seem to stop laughing. 

There is a squeeze on your hand. Faint, but there. 

You whip your head to Loki, and your conjoined hands. 

He, 100%, gave you a small squeeze when you laughed. You gasp a little at the realization.

“Loki, did you just…” you begin, and you begin to tear up, again. 

And there it is again, the light squeeze. 

“I feel you minou. When we touch land, I’ll try again. And then all the kisses in the world are yours, alright?” You tell him sincerely. He squeezes your hand again, and hums. 

He hears you. 

He feels you. 

You can bring the rest of him back. 

~~~~~

The second you land on Clint's ranch, you’re enlisting an entirely more awake Thor to haul Loki into the house without nearly as many heartbreaking noises. The rest of the Avengers wander around the house, or chop wood. 

“Is Loki…?” Thor asks as he easily takes Loki up the stairs back to the guest room you stayed in last time. 

“He’s more responsive than he’s been the whole time. At first… he couldn’t… Loki couldn’t do anything. Then came touch, then I broke into his mind… or rather he pulled me in… and now I think he can hear me,” you explain, “Wait a second, Thor.” 

“Yes, milady,” Thor stops mid step, and you lean over to wipe away a drop of froth from the side of Loki’s mouth. Loki makes a cooing noise, and you sigh and rub his scalp. Loki hums a happy noise. 

“Has he… been like this? The whole time?” Thor says, both nervous and fearful. 

“Yeah,”

“I am so sorry you had to deal with this alone,” he murmurs. You attempt a small smile.

“It’s okay. He’d do the same for me,” you tell Thor. Thor shakes his head, and continues walking up the stairs. 

“You are a very strong woman, milady. Few would be as stagnant in the wake of such horror as you. I do not even know that if I were faced with the same situation, if it were Jane in my arms and not my brother, that I could do what you do,” you open the door into the guest bedroom, a blush present on your cheeks. 

“You love him very much, don’t you?” Thor states as you help Loki into bed. You freeze, letting Loki play with your fingers idly. 

“Wh-What?” 

“Have I misread this situation?” 

_No. How annoyingly perspective of you, Thor._

“No,” you sigh, sitting down on Loki’s bedside to rub his shoulder. Thor has a small smile on his face. 

“You are good for him. You make him better,” Thor has a soft expression as he claps a hand onto your left shoulder. You look up at him with watery eyes. 

“I think I can fix him, but what if-” you whimper. Thor cuts you off. 

“My brother loves you more than anything. If you give him a bit of a push, he will cease at nothing to return back to you.” 

“You think?” you wonder, looking at Loki’s hand desperately holding yours. 

“I have not been sure of a large sum of things in my life, lady, but I am sure of this,” Thor insists. You reach up and give him a kiss on the cheek. Thor flushes. 

“That was exactly what I needed. Thank you, Thor,” you smile. With an embarrassed look, he inches out of the room after a quick brush on his younger brother. You know he is leaving to investigate the vision Wanda has given him, and that the rest of the Avengers are talking and meeting with the family of Bartons, but you have to stay with Loki. 

The moment Thor is gone, you lay down next to Loki’s body. His eyes are still wide open and frantic, and it is obvious that he is nowhere close to the restful slumbers that the rest of the hit Avengers got to indulge in. _Well, if that vision is repeating itself over and over, I wouldn’t be able to sleep either._

“Okay chaton. What can I do to make you nap a little so I can heal you?” you ask him. Loki whimpers, and pulls himself closer to you blindly. His eyelashes flutter up and down sporadically. 

“Not helpful, baby,” you sigh. An idea forms, and you gather the remnants of your magic to make a tiny portal to your closet back at Avengers Tower. Putting your hand in and rummaging around briefly finds you your prize: your ukulele. 

“So, minou, I had another song that I was going to play for you. Remember how I showed you that I learnt that other one in the memory a few days ago? I did this too, so that I could give you another happy surprise,” you explain to his form. The only way you know he has heard you is a bubbly gurgle. You give the instrument an experimental strum and adjust it appropriately. Clearing your throat nervously, you begin to sing for Loki. Because it’s only your kitten, despite the magic warping his mind, and you know that he would be supporting you. You strum the intro carefully, having to start over once but then getting the hang of it. 

“🎶 _Today is the first day of my life, swear I was born right in the doorway… I went out in the rain, suddenly everything changed! They’re spreading, blan kets on the beach._

_Yours is the first face that I saw. I think I was blind before I met you. And I don’t know where I am, don’t know where I’ve been, but I… know where I want to go._

_And so I thought I’d let you know. Yeah, these things take forever, I especially am slow. But I realize that I need you, and I wondered if I could… come home_ 🎶,” you glance down to Loki, who seems to hear your voice and flail to get closer to it. Tears are beginning to leak down his cheeks, and you quickly place the uke to the side. You pull him into your arms, hushing him. 

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, I was trying to get you to relax and be happy, don’t cry,” you comfort him worriedly. Loki keeps crying uncontrollably, hands flapping everywhere to gain a hold. His right hand rapidly pulls at yours. 

“Do you want me to keep going? I don’t think I should, you’re getting a bit emotional,” you grab his hands to let him know that you’re there. 

Loki whines, loud and high. 

“Okay, I will, now lie back down,” you smile despite yourself. Once he is all situated again, you pick the ukulele again. _Where was I? Oh, got it._ Takes you a moment to get the rhythm back, and then you’re off. 

“🎶 _Remember the time you drove all night, just to meet me in the mornin? And I thought it was strange, you said everything changed! You felt, as if you just woke up._

_And you said, this is the first day of my life. I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you, but now I don’t care! I could go anywhere with you, and I’d probably be ha ppy._

_So. If_

_You wanna_

_Be with me, with these things there’s no tellin, we just have to wait and see._

_But I’d rather be workin for a paycheck, than waitin to win the lott ery._

_Besides, maybe this time it’s different, I mean,_

_I really think you like me_ 🎶,” you draw out the ‘e’ for a while before finishing the last of the strums on the ukulele. Loki has calmed considerably, and appears to finally have closed his eyes and is snoozing peacefully. There are still prominent tear streaks down his cheeks, but a quick check of his pulse says that he is better for it. 

A knock at the door. 

“Hey, Clint wanted me to check up on you two. How are you doing?” Laura says from the doorway. You place the ukulele at the foot of the bed and give her a smile. She’s very obviously pregnant now and you point at her stomach excitedly. 

“Nathaniel,” she grins back. 

“Congratulations, Laura,” you cheer, then sour looking at your sleepy Jotun, “Everything has cooled down on this front. I mean, I had to sing him to sleep like a child, but I think he really needs the rest. I don’t mind either way, and now I can heal him without... having to experience the visions.” Loki huffs in his sleep, then hums contently as you kiss his brow. 

“Seems a lot has happened since you were last here,” she chuckles. You brighten instantly. 

“Yeah! We’re dating now, and it’s good. Really really really good,” you clap your hands together quietly. Laura shakes her head in humor. 

“I can tell. And, Clint told me a whole lot about the whole situation, amongst other helpful details. Says that they have to watch you two so you don’t sneak into a corner and start getting busy,” Laura laughs again. You rub the back of your head sheepishly. 

“Well, yeah. I used to be able to just walk away when he gets all sultry and now… you know, he gives me bedroom eyes and off we go!” you laugh, then it filters off, “I hope we’ll be able to do that again. Because right now, he can’t even walk on his own.” 

“Don’t worry. Everyone else is already back on their feet, I’m sure that Loki will be too,” 

“She said she was hitting him hard. To get to me,” you confide, and Laura’s eyes go wide and then soften. _She understands._ Laura walks over, wobbly with her pregnant belly, and sits beside you. 

“You aren’t to blame for this. As the wife of an Avenger, Clint had the same fears about marrying me. I had to hide our relationship, still do. Can’t share it with the world, or do any of the things normal couples do. He didn’t want _me_ to get hurt because _he_ was a fighter. But the thing with you two, you’re both Avengers. You’re both strong enough to support each other, even when one of you gets hit bad. He knows you’re not going to give up on him, and he’s not going to give up on you, whether or not he took a hit for you,” Laura tells you. You give her a large hug, and a muffled ‘thank you’. 

“I’m going to leave you alone, so you can help Loki out, okay?” she laughs. 

“Thank you, again,” you repeat. Laura shrugs, ‘its nothing’, and leaves. You sigh, and crawl onto the bed. Straddling Loki’s slumbering body, you call your magic to your hands. _Feel like I should sing the healing incantation from Tangled or some shit._ You place your hands on each of his temples, and begin to heal his shattered mind. The pieces slowly start weaving together, his mind settling even more during his slumber and the soothing tones of your magic. _That’s it. Come on back home, baby._ Wanda’s work is backed by an incredible amount of force and magic, and it acts in a way that pulls his mind apart without allowing Loki’s body to heal itself.

You’ve pushed back all the pieces carefully. Now all that’s left is eradicating the spell itself. 

Loki’s eyes shoot open as you tap the spell harshly. 

_Shiiit._

His body is still spasming as he gasps, his mind thrashing in the deathgrip of Maximoff’s spell. You scramble back from him as Loki holds his chest. Tears are immediately streaming down his face and his hands are flapping seizure-like all over. 

“Loki, love, if you can hear me, please calm down, it’s okay,” you try and speak clearly and calmly. His eyes dilate and refocus on you at the edge of the bed. You can hear his frantic heartbeat start to lessen.

You hear his strained vocal cords attempt to make noise. You creep up closer as he stops flailing. 

“That’s it, minou. I just got to finish the last of the healing, and then you’ll be back on your feet by tomorrow. I’m coming closer, okay?” 

Loki watches you carefully, clear that he can now actually see. You continue slowly approaching Loki’s form huddled by the pillows. Finally you are right beside him. 

“Da-dah-darling…” he coughs out, the reminiscent nickname butchered by his painful expression as he spits out the words. You smile sadly.

“Hey, minou. I know it hurts, I saw, but it’s not real and I’m going to make it go away,” you explain. Loki’s body laxes all at once, and falls utop you. You grunt and adjust so that you’re cradling Loki in your arms. You comb your fingers from his forehead to the back of his skull, and his eyes close happily. 

It’s faint, almost misheard, but a small weak purr escapes him. You rub his stomach, and another purr sounds. Loki folds himself up into a fetal position in your lap, shaking slightly. 

He has a small broken moan, your name sounding in it. You hush him, and replace your hands at his temples. 

The spell has lessened almost completely, considerably less all consuming and terrifying. More like a dream than a repeating reality. You heal the rest of his mind, Loki’s horrible vision fading from it’s previous all powerful essence and directly into memory. You keep pumping the last of your magic into his mind until he’s snoring. 

_So sweet._

You tuck him back into bed, giving him a goodnight kiss on the forehead before backing out of the room and shutting off the light. You make it all the way downstairs to Clint’s dining room table before you break down in exhaustion and your head lands on the table. That was more magic then you’ve ever used in such a small amount of time: the only reason you haven’t passed out is because you had paced the healing. 

“Hey, Fae, do you want to play with my LEGOs?” Lila pulls on your sleeve. 

“Lila, how about you play with Auntie Nat instead?” Natasha attempts to pull her away. One glance at your body flopped in the chair can tell everyone that you’re exhausted. 

“No! I want to fly with her! You can’t fly!” Lila complains. You painfully haul yourself off the table and smile at her with all the strength you have left. 

“How about we read a book, Lila? Would that be alright?” you say softly, not kneeling down to her level as you would normally as you are not sure you wouldn’t collapse. 

“No. I want to fly,” Lila pouts, stomping her foot angrily. Nat shakes her head at you, ‘don’t do it’, but you can’t help it. It is in your nature to help everyone. Eeeeven at the detriment of yourself. 

“Okay,” you sigh, hoisting Lila up tiredly. She squeals excitedly, wrapping her arms around your neck. You walk out of the door and look at the sky. It’s sunny, and Steve waves to you from where he chops wood. 

“UP!” Lila screams happily. You nod your head tiredly, and thrust yourself into the air with your wings. She laughs, “Faster! Faster!” 

So you do. 

So when you finally land, you’re so tired that y o u j u s t 

Collapse. 

Vaguely, you hear Lila crying, Steve and others shouting in alarm as you wait for Loki to pick you up. 

Wait. 

Instead, Steve picks you up and puts you on the couch in the living room. 

“Thanks, Loki,” you murmur idly, not really connecting the dots just yet. Steve freezes.

“Um, I’m not Loki, I’m Steve but yeah, you’re welcome. Get some shut-eye. You deserve it,” he stutters. You’re fading in moments, sleep too attractive. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, Comments, Concerns!


	28. 3-12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki needs to be healed, inside rather than out.

You don’t know when you’re stirring awake, but your bleary vision can make out a few things. First, everyone else is outside, playing with the kids and such. Second, someone is carrying you upstairs. Third, everyone is outside. Who is lifting you up? 

“Mhmm? Who.. who’s it?” you grumble tiredly. You roll your head into the person holding you.  _ Ah, I know that smell and feel.  _ “Loki?” you ask hopefully. Loki nuzzles down and rubs his head against your neck. 

“You’re awake,” you smile into his chest as he carefully walks up the stairs. You wait for him to answer, but Loki just hums happily.  _ So, not 100% yet. _

You sigh sadly, curling into his strong embrace. Loki whimpers, butting his head against your chin desperately. You shake your head, and look up at him. 

“What is it, minou?” Loki looks at you with furrowed brows. 

“Mine?” he says confusedly. “Mine. Protect,” he assures himself, confidently. You snort out a laugh. 

“Mine!!” he cheers, excited with your joy. You laugh again, looping your arms around his neck as he spins you around on the final stairway landing. Loki just keeps repeating ‘mine’ like one of those seagulls from  _ Finding Nemo _ . Your laughter only increases with that thought, and Loki seems to gain joy from it. He tosses you up, catches you, and pulls you in tightly to his chest as he opens the door to the bedroom. Your laughter filters off. 

“Minou, what are you doing?” 

“Protect, mine,” Loki looks at you with wide eyes, the statement gaining gravity. You brush his leathers, realizing now that you’d put him to bed in them. Loki shivers pleasantly as you touch his chest but doesn’t stop moving until you’re on the shared bed. 

The blankets have been rearranged into a nest-like structure, something that was certainly not there when you’d put him to bed earlier. He’d must have done that first and then come to find you. Loki lovingly places you in the center of the nest and pulls one of the blankets over you, humming under his breath as he situates you nicely. 

“Uh, Loki, honey, what are you doing?”

“Mine!” Loki accuses. You shake your head, smiling, and let him tuck you in properly. Once you’ve been all nestled in, Loki follows in after you. He maneuvers you so that you are face into his chest, completely enveloped by Loki. You squirm in his tight grip, but he does not let up: instead, he produces a relaxing purr so that you’ll simply stop trying to escape.

It works. 

You relax, and breath in Loki’s scent. 

“Mine,” he whispers, reaching down to nuzzle your head between the horns. You wrap your wings around him in the little nest of blankets. 

“Okay,” you sigh, blissed out and still exhausted from earlier. It’s a familiar thing, Loki’s purring. Makes it all the easier to fall asleep. 

~~~~~

***sexy fun times***

When you wake up, it’s to release a wanton moan. 

_ Wait a sec, that’s not right.  _

A quick glance with lidded eyes finds Loki’s form crouched between your legs in the dark room. He’s somehow wrangled your pants (the ones that you changed into on the Quinjet) to your ankles so that he can lick at your cunt. 

You wiggle your body away from him, frightened. Loki latches his hands onto your hips so he forces you to stay in place. 

“Loki, what-“ you protest. 

“Please, darling, I-I need to taste you, need to  _ feel _ ,” Loki begs from your feet. You blink at him in the darkness. 

“W-well I guess it’s alright then…” you stammer. 

“Thank you,” Loki says curtly, before diving back into your cunt. He flattens his tongue against your opening first, then dips it in tip slowly. You raise your hips up to his mouth, and he holds onto your thighs hard enough to bruise. 

Loki’s tongue drives inside of you, reaching so deep you wonder if he’s shifting somehow. His tongue swishes around, slurping up the arousal that is rapidly forming there. Moment by moment, flick by flick of his silver tongue, Loki lures you to the edge of pleasure expertly. 

_ Why don’t we do this more often?  _ You think, drunk on pleasure,  _ oh yeah. I told him not to! I’m an  _ **_idiot_ ** . 

“You’re so close, my dearest. I know you are, I know you. How much you yearn for my face between your legs, to pull you into orgasm? Say my name. Beg me for more,” Loki instructs you dominantly. You nod your head obediently. 

“Well?” Loki cocks an eyebrow sinfully from between your legs. You look at him, denied of orgasm from him stopping, and shimmy your hips needily. “Say my name, my darling. Do it,” 

“Loki, please, let me come, please,” you instantly reply. Satisfied momentarily, Loki goes back in full force. 

“Mhmm, continue your pleas, my sweet,” a voice, dark and thick, murmurs in your ear. You peek over to the side to see that another Loki is now petting your head above your right shoulder. 

“L-Loki?” You whimper. 

“In the flesh, my dearest darling,” he purrs. He plays with your hair as the other Loki continues. 

“I’m glad you’re back,” you gasp out, before the Loki eating you out runs his teeth over your clit and your hands fly down to pull on his hair. 

Both Loki's moan in delight. Then Loki #1 by your legs bites into the soft flesh inside of your thigh to hold back his groans, and you let Loki #2 hold back your scream with a hand. You press your hips into Loki #1’s face, and he takes to the task again with zeal. Loki #2’s hands weave into your wings, and you flap them once due to oversenstivity. A startled noise escapes you, and Loki #2 hushes you with a loving kiss to your mouth. Then his hands get to work, massaging your wings with expert knowledge. He knows where all the most sensitive parts are, what to do and how to do it. 

So when you’re dangling off the cusp of coming, Loki #1’s tongue impossibly deep, Loki #2 circles and finally presses his fingers into the bundle of nerves in the curve of your wing. Loki #1 licks a stripe up your opening wetly and then sucks on your clit, and then… you’re so far gone the world disappears in white as you spasm. 

***If you wanna come back, it's alright, it alright***

“That’s it, my darling, so good for me,” Loki purrs in your ear. You glance to his bright eyes in the gloom of the room, then down to your feet. The other Loki is still there, but with a silent exchange with his counterpart has Loki scrambling up your body to snuggle into your side. You look at the other Loki, while wrapping an arm around the one that is nestled into your side. The one by your side falls asleep, while the one knelt by your face watches you intently. 

“How are you feeling, minou? Do you need anything?”  _ Are you back, really?  _

“I am content now,” he states robotically. Continues to watch you. 

“Are you sure?” you whisper, rubbing the sleeping Loki’s back, and hearing him whimper. Loki sneers at you harshly. 

“You saw into my mind, did you not? How can anyone be  _ fine _ after such horrors?” Loki hisses meanly in the darkness, mocking tones underlying the rough words. He’s  _ never _ rude to you. You flinch away, and bump Sleeping Loki. He whimpers again, softly. You whisper a small apology to him. 

“I apologize. I do not mean to be spiteful, least of all to you,” Loki laments. He runs a hand through his hair. “And I must thank you as well, for letting me…” he gestures to you in explanation. 

You flush. “Honestly, no problem. Are you going to become one Loki or stay like this? I don’t have a problem with it either way but-“ 

“I would much prefer it like this,” Loki sighs, hands clenched into fists. “Do you have questions?”

“About what?” You blink at him. Loki scoffs, and shakes his head. 

“By the Norns, you confound me, woman. Do you have any questions about what you’ve seen in my head? The vision?” 

“Well,” you begin to rub Sleeping Loki’s back in small circles as you think, “what kind of questions am I supposed to have? The guy whom I know loves me and on many different occasions has dreamed aloud to me, rather brashly, that he wants to spirit me away and marry me and on top of all that, impregnate me multiple times? He wanted just that, who would have thought! And also, you want four kids? I dunno…” you laugh at him easily. Loki seems very taken aback at your nonchalance. Apparently, ‘understanding’ is not a trait he sees from others often enough. 

“You are the most confusing and… no matter. I presume you are correct,” there is a moment of silence in the room. “It wasn’t always four kids,” he murmurs after it. 

“What do you mean?” 

“The dream, vision, whatever you wish to dub it… would alter slightly. Sometimes we lived on Asgard. Sometimes I was different in form. Sometimes we had four children, yes, and then others we had more. Or less. We were welcoming the birth of our first child, or you were pregnant with them. We had grown older together, children long up and gone or grandchildren running amok. It was everything I could have dreamt of,” Loki says wistfully. It tapers off, as he remembers what comes next in the vision. His whole body tenses under the weight of the memory. 

“Who was the wrinkly-chined grape raisin man?” You point out. Loki, seemingly despite himself, has a little cruel chuckle at this. 

“The grape? You compare the Mad Titan to a mere fruit?” he laughs. Shaking his head at the end of the happy noise, his face turns solemn. “I know you are wondering if he was the one who harnessed me. Tortured me, sent me to wrought havoc on the city you love.”

“Yeah, just a bit,” you sheepishly tell him. 

“It is true,” Loki sighs, broken. You reach for him, and he turns your hand away. “If you feel the need to coddle me like a beloved pet as you usually would, please do so on him,” he points to the Sleeping Loki who snuggles close. You nod unsuredly before doing so, kissing Sleeping Loki’s forehead and squeezing his hands. Sleeping Loki smiles in his sleep and pulls himself closer. He seems just the same as he’d be in the carefree times before you’d ever gone to that Hydra base. Though the event that set all of this off feels like decades ago, in reality it was less than a week.

“Why won’t you let me touch you?” you look to him expectantly. 

“I am well knowing of your allurements, vixen,” he accuses. 

“Have I been influencing you? Loki, I’m so sorry, I had no idea-”

“No, no. Not what I meant, dearest. What I mean to express is that if you touch me, I will break. I will shatter, and you will have to bear my burdens as they fall onto your shoulders. If you give me that, the kindness and sweetness of your nature, I fear I could no longer walk away. Or the semblance of leaving I could do now,” Loki asserts. You give him a hard look, and press a finger coursing with magic to the sweet Sleepy Loki. As you already knew it would, the illusion dissipates. Loki sighs again. 

“I can see through your illusions, mon minou,” you remind him, unsure if that was the best course of action for such a shaken Loki. 

“I’m aware,” Loki exasperates, shifting his body so that he can jump off the bed. You grab his arm to stop him. “Darling, please let go of me. I do not wish for you to be weighted down by me. We should… we should stop. I will stop pursuing you. You need not humor me anymore, no longer let me love you. Just… let me go,” his voice cracks, and he tugs his hand away from you, “We-we can pretend like we never happened.” The end of his sentence is a sob, and you can practically feel his heart breaking by his own hand. Yours too. The only word you can recall to describe this behavior: masochism.  _ Why does he do this to himself? Why does he do this to me?  _

Tears are swarming in your vision. 

“Wh-what?” 

“I said,” Loki stands up, towering above you darkly, “we can pretend like none of this happened. It would be better for you. I will take my leave, permanently.” 

“NO!” you yell at him, scrambling to stand next to him.  _ You said you couldn’t live without me. That you love me.  _ Loki looks away from you, attempting to hide the watering of his eyes. He tries to leave halfheartedly, but you drag him back.  _ We are not ending yet.  _

“Darling… err, Fae,” Loki retries. Loki steps forwards, then brokenly sobs as you claw at him. “St-stop, please, you’re only making this ha-harder…” He tries to free himself, but doesn’t use any strength in it. His eyes close in surrender. 

“Loki. You can- you can trust me. Fall on me, break, shatter, I don’t care. But… please, don’t leave me. You’re-you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Don’t leave,” you murmur, teaching up to cupping Loki’s face. You force him to look at you, force him to understand.  _ I love you, you thick headed prince.  _

“You do not understand. I thought- I thought I could hide it from you, that you’d never have to know that part of my life. You still  _ don’t  _ have to know. Just… let me walk away. I will leave,” Loki begs you, but holds your hand on his face. His own body betrays how much he wants you to stay, how much he wants to stay. 

“I didn’t try so hard to bring you back just to lose you. And honestly, the whole marriage, white picket fence, 2.5 kids… does not sound too bad. With you, quite nice actually. Especially because… because you love me. And you’ve got to be oblivious if you think that I’d let such a catch like you get away,” you tell him, a small smile adorning your features. Loki’s face brightens, then saddens. 

“Truly? You would really...”

“I mean, when you imagined it, it looked very appealing,” you giggle. 

“I have always wanted that. A lovely, happy, family. One that was so far from the one I grew up with, so much better than that. And you… you’re perfect,” he admits shyly. 

“Then why are you running, minou?” 

“Because…” Loki’s expression is suddenly pained, as if he is choking on the words under the knowledge that you’d see through any lie instantly, “because I am scared.” 

“Of what?” 

“Of what may happen if I follow what I feel. Of… of the vision. Of…” 

“Thanos?” you recall the name from the dream. 

“Yes,” Loki winces. You pull Loki back towards the nest of blankets, pull him closer to you. As he says, ‘coddle him’. He sighs, and relaxes in your embrace, with your arms and your wings. 

“Are you shattering yet?” you ask. 

“About to,” Loki shudders. 

“You can rely on me. Pile it on, minou. You’ve taken all the negative things I’ve given you: let me repay the favor,” you murmur, placing your lips on Loki’s temple. He whines. 

“Your problems pale in comparison to my own, dearest,” Loki sighs yet again. You want to snuggle and love the life out of this poor man who’s been through more than his fair share of trauma. 

“Lemme at em. I have a knack for making things a bit better, won’t you say?”

“You are right, as always,” 

~~~~~ 

When you finally make it downstairs, you know more than you’ve ever wanted to know. About Thanos, and his Order, the Infinity Stones, his mission. Loki’s mother, Frigga. His cold adoptive father and realizing the fakeness too late, growing up in Thor’s shadow and Thor being completely unaware of Loki’s pain. Living his whole life learning and preparing for the throne with zeal and ambition, learning spells to protect his people: only to learn that he wasn’t ever going to get there. 

The Bartons have graciously provided a delicious dinner, family style and everything. Nick is here too, and you give him a huge hug when you see him. Though the hat he is wearing does him exactly zero favors. 

Loki doesn’t come down right away: and you give him a minute. It was a lot. It was a huge part of his life, and you understand if he wants to be alone. Even if you don’t want to leave him that way. 

When he does come downstairs, you’re cleaning up from dinner with an apologetic Lila and Laura. You turn to the stairs when you pick up on him slowly walking down. 

“Hi Loki-Love,” you grin at him. Loki practically melts right there. Tony makes an ick noise with the side of his mouth. 

“Hey, none of that please! I just got him back, I’m inclined to be a bit more affectionate!” You protest. 

“She’s got you there, Tony,” Steve snorts. 

“Capsicle, you always take Tinkerbell’s side, don’t ya?” Tony glares at Steve. Steve blushes. 

“Stevie’s a good friend,” you chirp, and Steve blushes even more. 

“It has been a long while since anyone called me Stevie,” Steve laughs, though it sounds a bit strained. You cast him a smile, and put the dried dishes and the rag to the side. With a high-five to Lila, she disappears to somewhere else in the house. You shake your head smilingly, taking a seat next to Natasha at the dinner table. Loki slinks to the kitchen bar, and you can feel his green eyes watch you. 

“Ultron took you folks out of play to buy himself time. My contacts all say he's building something. The amount of Vibranium he made off with, I don't think it's just one thing,” Fury explains to the team. You nod along to him, worriedly. Ultron is a bigger threat now than he’s ever been. 

“What about Ultron himself?” Stev asks, leaning against a nearby wall. 

“Ah. He's easy to track, he's everywhere. Guy's multiplying faster than a Catholic rabbit. Still doesn't help us get an angle on any of his plans though,” Nick replies, his one eye staring you all down. 

“Is he still going after launch codes?” Tony asks. A shudder goes through you, resulting in your wings whapping the back of your chair. 

“Yes, he is, but he's not making any headway,” Nick responds. 

“I cracked the Pentagon's firewall in high school on a dare,” Tony waves off. Your eyes widen. 

“What the heck were you doing in high school??” you exclaim. There’s a brief flashback to you in high school in your head: lots of wallflowering and hiding. Bouncing from home to home, at least every year, friendless and hopeless. You cringe.  _ Never going to happen again. Family is here! Snap out of it, me.  _

“Yeah, well, I contacted our friends at the NEXUS about that,” Nick jumps right over your statement. 

“NEXUS?” you and Steve say at the same time. You mouth ‘ _ jinx’  _ to him, and Steve rolls his eyes with a smile. 

You zone out for a second, as you have a sudden revelation.  _ What would I do without this family? Who would I be?  _

_ If the Avengers were to ever disband… would I be alone again?  _

Loki clears his throat, reminding you of his presence. 

_ Nope. Would probably be with Loki still.  _

_ He’d never really leave me.  _

_ Would he?  _

A voice, dark and sinister whispers in your head,  _ he almost did. Just today. He almost abandoned you. Like everyone else.  _

_ Only a matter of time. Enjoy it while you can.  _

“So what does he want?” Nick asks, jolting you back to the present. 

“To become better. Better than us. He keeps building bodies,” Steve suggests. A click in your mind.

“What does anyone want? He wants to be human. To be recognized as a person,” you whisper. The room’s eyes whip to you. “I’d talk about it with Jarvis a lot. About the complexities of human nature, you know? How every person is a hero and a villain in their own right, in their own stories,” 

“But, as he says, the human form is inefficient, biologically speaking. We're outmoded. But he keeps coming back to it,” Tony counters. You shake your head. 

“Just because you aren’t in a human form doesn’t mean you’re not a person,” you respond quietly. There’s a clatter of something falling off the kitchen bar as Loki spurs forwards and then back to his position to pick up the fallen object. 

“Did… Jarvis want to be a human?” Nick asks carefully. 

“He was a human. A person. To me, at least,” you huff looking away. Natasha rubs your back. 

“Why would a robot want to be more vulnerable?” Clint wonders aloud. Bruce looks down at a picture that Lila had painted for Nat. 

“Not vulnerable… sentient and conscious. Ultron doesn’t want to go back to humanity. He wants it to evolve. He wants to evolve,” Bruce deduces. You gulp. 

“How?” Nick questions sternly. 

“Has anyone been in contact with Helen Cho?” Bruce asks.  _ SHIT.  _

As the team begins to formulate a plan, Loki suddenly hunches over, holding his stomach. You rush to him, holding the man as he begins to collapse. He’s all of a sudden sweaty and feverish. 

“Loki-” 

“The stone. They’re taking the stone from the scepter,” he looks to you with wild eyes and panting mouth. The others are confused, slowly stepping towards you two. You grasp Loki’s hands tightly as his body twitches. Loki had explained that sometimes… he can feel the scepter and the stone, calling to him whenever they’re near each other. Trying to seduce him into doing things he does not want to do. 

_ Mind Stone was in his scepter. The scepter that Ultron took. The scepter that keeps mocking him, even today.  _

“Can you see what they’re doing with it?” you ask him, taking the ice cube wrapped in cloth that Clint hands you and putting it on Loki’s forehead. Unlike when he uses magic, his eyes are a freezing crystal blue. 

“It’s...it’s thrilled. The stone, it wants to cause havoc, wants to release itself… they are giving it a chance. It wants… it wants to  _ be _ ,” Loki stammers, looking at nothing. 

“We need to get to Helen. Now,” Steve instructs. Loki gasps again, mouth open like a fish, and then his eyes and temperature return to normal. You give him a quick comforting peck and then help him stand up. He braces himself on the kitchen bar and your shoulder. You rub his back to relieve him of some of the fear that creates palpitations in his chest. 

“I’ll take Natasha and Clint. But if it's as bad as Loki makes it seem, then we’ll need Fae and Loki on standby anyway,” Steve directs. You nod, and look at Loki. 

“Minou, lovey, are you okay to go?” 

“I need to stay by you,” Loki says simply.  _ He’s scared, scared of what the stone may do. To me.  _ As a magically sensitive person (like Loki), you can assume that the effects that the stones have on Loki you’ll get some portion of that too.  _ Not particularly excited about that bit. _

“Alright, strictly recon. I'll hit the NEXUS, I'll join you as soon as I can,” Tony says, you nod in response. 

“If Ultron is really building a body…” Steve starts. You tune out of his conversation with Tony: the two of them bicker more than anyone and you  _ really  _ don’t need that right now. Instead, you walk outside into the crisp evening air. You don’t have to have superhuman hearing to know that Loki follows you. 

“I apologize for scaring you,” Loki pipes up after a minute of blissful silence. 

“It’s nothing. Well, nothing compared to how bad you scared me… yesterday, was it, now?” Loki nods. You finally turn to look at the beautiful Asgardian. As always, Loki watches you watch him. 

“I’m truly quite lucky that you put up with me, aren’t I?” Loki blurts. You snort and shake your head. “No, really. I put you through so much unnecessary fear and pain, and then have the audacity to  _ allow _ you to stay by my side!” 

“Loki…” 

“How can I do this to you? How can I be so impossibly and irrevocably selfish?” 

“Loki, please,” 

“YELL AT ME!” Loki screams. You step back, refusing to be mean to the man you feel so strongly towards. 

“Loki, you have never been a villain in my narrative. Every single time something bad or scary or potentially fatal happened, you swoop in like a hero and save me,” 

“But, you  _ conveniently  _ forget that it is my fault that you’d get into those situations because of me!” 

“Mon minou, I get into these situations because I agreed to be here. You didn’t force me to be an Avenger. I know what I was getting into. And I’d make them again. You don’t allow me to do anything. Do you not understand how happy you make me?” you explain carefully, reaching over to hold his hands. It is obvious that Loki simply does not believe you. 

“Did I ever tell you about what it was like before I met you? Even before you were a cat?” 

Loki shakes his head. 

“All I had was my job as the little barista, and the gardens. The job gave me miserable headaches constantly from using the illusions, and I was completely alone. There was no Josh, Katy, or Carroll… no minou. I have never felt so alone, so helpless. It became easy, you know, to imagine just… dying. Because who would know?” 

Loki goes pale, paler than usual. He squeezes your hands and opens his mouth to speak. You cut him off.

“Used to think about it a lot. What if I just threw myself off one of the trees? Made a noose with a blanket? Perhaps I’d swim so deep into the river that I’d never come up,” you note lightly, looking past Loki. Surprising you, Loki pulls you in a tight embrace. 

“No, no no, none of that.  _ Please _ ,” Loki chokes out. He shudders around you, chest convulsing in silent sobs. You assure him that you don’t feel that way anymore with a peck on the cheek. 

“Dark Fae… we die in the most beautiful way possible. You see, we don’t age like humans do. I’ll look around the same age my whole life, and then one day… I’ll know it’s my time to go. We plant ourselves in the dirt, and in the next few moments we turn into trees. Isn’t that fantastic?” 

“Don’t say things like that…” 

“No, really. You’d be a part of something, something bigger. A part of Nature, that goes beyond anything I could think of. That’s all I had wanted: to do something, be part of something. You gave me another choice, and I didn’t have to die to be a part of a source of good,” you explain further. Loki nods slowly, understanding your logic. You whistle slowly. “Can you imagine, if that’d happened? We would have never met. Never gotten together. Which is better? What we have now, or that?” 

“This. I love this. I’m sorry, I love you. I really… I really do,” Loki chokes out. 

“That’s how I think of it. A little black cat coming into my swath of grass was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Everything just got better from there for me. Somehow, I ended up with a flirty, intelligent, beautiful, boyfriend and a whole family of people whom I love,” you finalize. Loki pulls back to kiss you lightly. 

“I am grateful for everything. It appears that I help you as much as you help me,” Loki tells you. 

“The best relationships are that way,” you grin at him. Steve calls you both to the Quinjet, getting ready to roll. Loki sweeps you off your feet and holds you in his arms. You shriek in laughter, and Loki plants his lips on yours, keeping them moving there as he walks to the jet. 

“Mhmm, I love you,” he says between wet kisses. 

“Yeah, I know,” 

“You are changing me, my life, my everything,” Loki croons lovingly. You smile at his dramatic prose. 

“I know that too,” you giggle. Loki playfully growls and nips at your earlobe. 

“Okay, can you two… not? Not right now? We have a job to do. Helen might be in danger,” Steve remarks sternly from ahead of you. You flush, nodding in agreement as you carefully remove all your limbs from Loki and sit in the chair beside him. Loki pouts darkly. You pat his knee reassuringly. 

“Once all this nastiness is over, mon minou, we can lock ourselves in your room for days,” you offer slyly. Loki’s eyes go wide, and he licks his lips. 

“I will hold you to that, darling,” he whispers, seductive undertones coming out to play. 

“I knew you would,” 

“And perhaps… you can hold a few things for me as well…” 

_ Sex fiend! Maybe Loki’s secretly the god of horniness and libido and no ones told me?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns! 
> 
> Thank you everyone, for all your support for this fic!! It means a lot!!


	29. 3-13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the next portion of this adventure finally gets on its way.

You take a quick nap on the plane (or more specifically, on Loki’s lap) because the last nap you had woefully fell short of the necessary hours of sleep your magic supply needed to recharge due to a certain God’s hankering for oral. 

You and Loki are sent to do as normal tourist couples do in Korea. So, you’re instructed to lie low at a cafe. Obviously, you have to hide the wings, which Loki complains about: but it’s necessary and only for a short time. 

On top of that, you’re delighted to realize that those long term illusions are so much easier to do. But that’s to be expected: Portals are the hardest to do, harder over longer distances. Then comes healing, harder when the wounds are more dangerous. Then mental illusions. THEN normal visual or physical illusions. Everything else was second nature, or just a remarkable ability to ask nature politely for help. 

Before your new career in Avenging, it had been portalling was next to impossible even when only a few blocks and healing was a sure fire way to knock yourself out. 

So now, disguised as an American touristy couple (Loki in a black suit, dark shades, and his hair pulled up into a messy bun at the nape of his neck. You with a flowery sundress and a large sunhat with no top on it for the horns, as well as gold sunglasses) Loki orders in the native language some tea for the both of you. 

He glances towards the nearby U-Gin Genetic Research Lab, only a few miles away, as the tea is delivered. The Quinjet hovers by the Lab, and you can just barely make out Clint in the cockpit using your enhanced sight. 

“Can you really see that far?” Loki asks, pulling the teacup to his lips conversationally. You turn to him and smile. 

“Yeah. If I listen really closely, I can just make out Steve’s heavy footsteps on the rooftop,” you squint into the distance. 

“Absolutely incredible,” Loki breathes, “Your Fae genealogy… it is truly a honor to know someone of your race,” 

“Well, I’m glad I had the great honor of meeting the dark prince of Asgard,” you giggle in response, feeling flirty and maybe a little floozy in your sundress and cute cafe area. 

“There used to be Fae peoples across all the nine realms, you know,” Loki tells you idily, flagging down the waitress to order some small red bean paste desserts. You practically spit take at what he says. 

“YOU DIDN’T WANT TO TELL ME THIS UNTIL NOW?” You shriek, then immediately apologize to the people around you. 

“I did not think much of it  _ until _ now…” Loki says meekly. 

“Mon minou, tell me everything,” you demand. 

“Where do I begin? Well, it was before my even time that the Fae were in abundance. It is said that they were populating Asgard before even the Aesir. Even speculated that they helped the Aesir establish Asgard. I had briefly dipped into the stories centuries ago… the Allfather had berated me for researching into a dead race instead of something more forefront like politics,” Loki leans down, a smile on his face like a crescent moon. 

“That’s… insane,” you whisper. Loki waggles his eyebrows. 

“Glad to be of service, my dear,” Loki purrs. His long fingers creep up your knee. 

“We have to go to Asgard. Find the books on Fae history. I need to know where I came from,” you declare. Loki’s hand halts. 

“We cannot go to Asgard,” Loki hisses, one of his trademark Trickster-Heartbreaker half-smiles adorning his lips when he receives the dessert and asks for the check from the waitress. He quickly turns back to you, glaring. 

“Why not? I have a right to know!” You pick up the argument easily. No, you’re not mad, you’re rarely  _ mad _ , but this is your  _ past _ you’re fighting for. It means  _ everything _ : you can find things about yourself that you’d never known before. 

“For all intents and purposes, I’ve been banished. Disowned,” Loki exclaims. 

“You have no proof of that. I’m sure your mother would welcome you home!” 

“Yes, but she is not the one in the seat of power,” Loki’s nose twitches, an frustrated tic. 

“Loki, you more than anyone should understand the need to know who your parents are and where they’re from. Where you’re from,” you start again, more calm this time.

“Ask me for something else. Anything else. I’ll give it to you. But I cannot do this,” he pops one of the desserts in his mouth. 

“Please?” You pull down the sunglasses and give him the most pleading loving expression you can muster. Loki bites the inside of his cheek, hard. 

“You stop that right now, temptress,” Loki growls. You huff, and cross your hands over your chest. Loki pulls the desserts closer to himself and begins to feed the insatiable beast that is a Jotun/Asgardian appetite. There’s an awkward silence for a moment, and then you sigh. 

“I’m sorry. I understand. Not going home must be hard for you, and I’m sure it’s even more miserable with me acting like bitch about wanting to go,” you apologize. 

“I only wish I could be more of a help to you, dearest. I know this means a lot to you, and I more than anyone know the pain of a mysterious parentage,” Loki leans forwards across the table to give you a chaste kiss. 

“Um, sorry to bother you, but are you Loki of Asgard? The Avenger?” A thickly accented voice asks. It’s the waitress, bringing the check. She’s shyly asking in English, perhaps for your benefit. 

“Don’t tell everyone, would you?” The comment is paired with a wink above slightly lowered shades.  _ If that doesn’t get your engine revving, I don’t know what will.  _ The waitress seems to agree, and a flush appears on her cheeks. She then turns to you. 

“So, you must be Fae, then. Yes?” She seems so excited. 

“Yup!” 

“Where… where are the wings?” She whispers stealthily. You look back and forth in the cafe, then murmur behind a hand, 

“Illusion magic.” 

Her eyes go comically wide. You smile and laugh, then stand up to give her a hug. At first she’s surprised, and then carefully returns it. 

“You are even more kind hearted than you appear on the television,” she says, stars in her eyes. She hastily pulls out a scrap of paper from her apron alongside a pen. 

“Can you…” she asks shyly. 

“Of course!!” You smile widely, writing a little signature on it with a heart and then passing it off to a Loki who is trying to hide a huge grin behind a hand. When you return the paper to her, she practically faints. 

“My sister will love this! Thank you!! Her favorite is Captain America, but it is unthinkable all the same!” She cheers. 

“You have a sister?” You question. 

“Yes, we are twins. She had wanted to move here when she got a job apprenticing for Ms. Helen Cho,” the waitress explains. Instantly, Loki is all business. 

“Have you seen your sister in the past few days?”

“How did you know?” She steps back, frightened. You tap your earpiece, turning it on so that you will be able to tell Steve and the others. 

“Please, maiden, if you would share…” Loki purrs, pressing the waitress to trust and open up to him. The sentence is slick with magic, but she doesn’t seem to notice. 

“Ling hasn’t come home in three days. She has only texted me that she’ll be home whenever she can, that they are working on a big project at the labs. I called her yesterday, and she sounded so... scared. I couldn’t even say anything, she just yelled at me for calling and hung up…” the waitress says. You reach up and grasp her hand in yours. 

“I’m so sorry. We think something bad is going down over there… and we’ll save your sister. Don’t worry,” you convince her, wiping away developing tears. With that, the waitress flees into the restaurant. 

“Call Steven,” Loki instructs. You do, and tell him something is very not kosher at the labs. 

“Be careful,” you warn, before hanging up. 

“Should we go there?” You ask Loki, worry creasing your features. 

“We are to remain on the sidelines for now. And I am having a splendid time on our little date besides,” Loki flashes a heartbreaker smile. 

“Me too,” you grin, reaching down and holding his hand beneath the table. Loki’s eyes flutter shut, visible behind the sunglasses. 

“Here. For the Avengers, on the house,” you are surprised by the return of the waitress, offering up a delectable looking plate of chocolates shaped like little animals with big eyes. You aww, and thank her. 

As you wave goodbye to her delightedly, you turn back to the plate to find the chocolates almost completely gone. 

“Loki,” you laugh, looking at his guilty, chocolate covered face, “did you eat all of the chocolates while my back was turned?” 

“Noooo. I presume it must have been a rogue rodent that swept them up while you were looking aside,” he lies through his teeth, and a mouthful of chocolate. 

“Would that rodent be referred to as ‘mon minou’?” 

“Perchance. I can allude that it will remain a mystery,” he swallows the chocolate, and wipes his mouth like a gentleman with a napkin despite eating all of the chocolates. You make a mental note to take him to Max Brenner’s back in the city when everything has calmed down. 

After a beat of you looking at him and trying not to break down in hysterical laughter, he speaks. 

“Are you going to eat the remaining few?” 

“I was thinking about it,” you giggle. Loki hums as he picks up a piece of chocolate shaped like a rabbit between his dainty fingers.

“Open,” Loki purrs seductively. You raise your eyebrow at him. “Indulge me,” he props his elbows up on the table. 

You open your mouth, and Loki finger feeds you the small sweet dessert. You go through the rest of the dish that way. 

“Now who’s being too obvious about our relationship in public, hmm?” You remark. Loki just makes a ‘hmm’ sound. 

“I love you,” he whispers, reaching across the table to hold your hands. You hold his, like a cheesy romcom. 

“I- shit-“ you stutter, a loud explosion coming from the Lab. The cafe patrons and passerby gasp. 

“Dr. Cho’s wounded. We need Fae. Time to cut the date short, guys,” Steve says through the comm. You give Loki an apologetic look before pulling him out of the restaurant and into the street. He uses seiðr to change into work attire for the both of you, and you make a portal to the ship to grab your naginata. The people on the street are snapping pictures of you and Loki in full Avengers uniform, and your large wings and horns. 

“Ready?” You grin, holding out your arms. 

“May we do something a little more… mature, let’s say, for the public this time?” Loki suggests. 

“No minou?” You pout. Loki rubs his temples. 

“Fine. Just this once,” Loki sighs, and shifts as he jumps into your arms. 

“That’s my good kitty,” you affirm, giving him those good chin scratches and a kiss between the ears. 

“Mew!” Lokitty agrees.  _ Yeah, he loves it.  _ You take off into the skies, blasting full force towards the Lab. It’s only minutes before you’re following Steve’s path into the facility. You drop down onto the floor, and are met with hundreds of workers lying on the floor. 

Some are dead. Others are close. 

“Oh no, Loki, I’ve got to help them-” you fret, readying your healing abilities to bring them back. Loki gently holds you back by your shoulders. 

“Darling, you know you cannot possibly have enough power to be able to do that,” Loki advises. 

“I have to, they’re going to die. Maybe I do have that much power, maybe it’s a supermoon tonight! That waitress, her sister is here somewhere…” you counter. Loki grabs your face and forces you to look at him. His expression is fierce, and then simmers down when he sees your eyes look at him frustratedly. 

“Oh, my sweet caring darling. You and your bleeding heart. You cannot save all of them. I will assist in your venture to find Ms. Cho and the most healthy individuals to give some brief medical attention to. The rest, we must simply chase them away from the brink and hope they will be alright. Is that suitable?” 

“Will it save everyone?” you argue. Loki’s jaw works.

“It will have to,” he murmurs, then surprises you with a stolen kiss. You close your eyes, melting into his strong embrace.  _ Damn, if that man isn’t a good kisser. Knew there was a reason I kept him around.  _

“Let us go find Cho, shall we?” Loki lilts, breaking away and leaving you dazed. You stumble after the tall man, and spot Cho leaning against the wall with a gargantuan gash in her abdomen. Loki goes around and helps the assistants as you attend to Cho. 

“Helen! That… does not look good,” you squeak. She shakes her head, gritting her teeth against the pain. You immediately crouch down next to her, humming a tune under your breath as you magically close it up. Once it is finished, Helen takes a deep breath in. 

“Thank you,”

“No problem!” you chirp. Looking about the room for Loki, you spot him summoning and wrapping a bandage around a member of Cho’s staff. You give him a thumbs up, which he returns confusedly.  _ I’ll need to teach him that later. _

“Fae, you need to be careful. Or leave! Yes, you should leave,” Helen pulls you down to her level on the floor. 

“What do you mean.” Loki says flatly, appearing behind you. He places a firm hand on your shoulder protectively. You place a hand over his. 

“Ultron would… he would talk about you. Constantly. He called you a prophet, that you would join him and help him heal the world. Called you his queen, the queen of the new world,” Helen says frantically. Loki lets out a harsh snarl, and pulls you back into his embrace.  _ Mine,  _ he seems to say. As if Ultron is still in the room, Loki pulls you in close so that anything trying to hit you would have to go through his body. Under his breath, he repeats ‘mine’.

“That is… kind of terrifying,” you peep. 

“From what I can remember, he’s obsessed with making people… better. Evolved, almost. He thinks that you… you are that evolution,” Helen explains to you, trying not to look at Loki. Loki growls at her threateningly. 

“No one is going to take her from me.  **No one** , you hear me, healer?” Loki bellows lowly. 

“Of course, never said anything different, I have no doubts,” Helen stutters. Loki bays, an animalistic noise you’ve never heard out of his pretty mouth, and nuzzles you possessively. 

“Thank you, Loki. You may set me down now,” you smile at him. Loki stares at you for a moment, before blinking several times in rapid succession.

“Oh, ah, yes, of course,” he stammers, setting you back down daintily.  _ It's like he just switched! How is that a thing that can happen?  _

“Helen, can you come with us and check to see if your staff is all okay?” you ask her, petting Loki’s bicep to assure him of your appreciation for his protectiveness. Loki barely leashes a purr, leaning into you slightly.  _ Sweet minou.  _

Helen is amazed as she stands, completely ridded of the wound. 

“I attempted to assist as many as possible, Ms. Cho, though I am loath to admit that we could not save them all,” Loki explains as you follow her throughout the lab. Loki has neatly laid the 3 fallen technicians and workers to a corner of the room, a medical sheet utop each one neatly. If Loki wasn’t holding you back, you may have gone over there to heal them anyway, even if it would probably kill you. You can’t bring a dead person back to life. That’s reanimation, and you  _ do not _ dabble in those dark arts. 

“You saved… almost all of them?” Helen gasps. 

“We tried,” you answer. Helen gives you a huge hug. 

“Thank you. He said- he said he’d kill them all if I didn’t cooperate… and then he used the scepter…” she cries. You pat her back reassuringly, meeting eyes with Loki. He stiffens when she mentions the scepter. 

“The scepter. It was here?” Loki pulls her back, hissing. Helen shudders.

“Yes. He said something about humans not looking deep enough, and then he pulled a stone out of it, and put it into the Cradle. Did I mention that he was making himself a body?” She elaborates. Loki reaches out blindly for your hand, your presence. You link hands easily, holding onto him as he sways. 

“That’s what I felt. The release of the stone,” he whispers, in a tone only your advanced hearing can pick up. You discreetly nod to him. 

“Fae, Loki, Ultron’s gotten away, but we have the Cradle. And, the Maximoffs are on our side now?” Steve says through the comm. 

“Stevie, I love ya man, but if I see that Scarlet Witch again I cannot promise that I won’t either punch her or let Loki demolish her,” you say into the comm. 

“She says that it’s warranted and she’s really sorry,” Steve meekly responds. 

“Okay, we’re heading out. Get back on the ship, Romanoff’s already here,” Clint pipes in. 

“Alright,” you give in, waving goodbye to Helen. 

You climb back up to the roof, and hold your arms out expectantly for Lokitty so you can fly back to the ship. 

“Wait a moment, dearest. I’d like to try something,” Loki murmurs. You roll your eyes in mock anger, but obey. Loki snorts at your antics, and then makes a focused face that he does when attempting to shapeshift. To your alarm, he grits his teeth in pain. You reach out to him but are stopped by a finger. 

And then… 

Huge, black, feathered, wings erupt from Loki’s back.

Tall and long golden horns spurt from his forehead, so similar to the ones on his helmet. 

His eyes are slightly dilated, in the strange way that you’ve seen so many times. Many times in the mirror. 

Loki Lafueyson, God of Mischief and Lies, Rightful Heir to the throne of Jotunheim… has shifted into Fae. You cup your hands to your mouth to stop from crying. 

Loki’s scent is stronger, boosted by what you can only assume are Dark Fae pheromones. He takes a look at himself excitedly, waving about the wings and watching them. As the shift finishes, he suddenly groans with the newfound weight of the appendages on his back. 

“How do you fly with these? They’re so heavy… Norns…” Loki complains playfully, glancing up at you impishly. You drop your hands, smiling wide. 

“You’re Fae…” 

“No,  _ you’re  _ Fae,” he snickers. You groan, but are so ecstatic that you can’t be mad at his stupid logic. “Do you like it? You had been... upset... earlier and before that you were the only Dark Fae… I thought that I could perhaps… make it a little easier?” 

You rush him, squeezing his form in an embrace so tight that it’s only a few moments before Loki remarks that he can no longer breathe. 

“You’re the best, Loki. The absolute best,” you cry out, rubbing your face in his chest, “And you smell… so good…” 

“So do you, sweetness,” Loki purrs. You blush, suddenly shy, and pull back to carefully feel about his wings. They’re perfect, exactly how a Dark Fae’s wings should be. Bones, muscles, even the horn adorning the edge of each wing is perfect. You move your hand flush through the wings, delicately caressing the collection of nerves. Loki spasms when you touch it, moaning obscenely and falling to his knees. You watch in amazement as a tent quickly appears in his pants. 

“I suddenly… can see… how you can come… with just someone touching you there… Odin’s beard, it's so _sensitive_...” he groans, a sound deep within his chest, and presents his wing to you. “Well? Don’t bloody stop, seducer,”

“Fine… but Loki, we really should be going back to the Quinjet…” you utter quietly, teasingly, as you go down to the base where his wing meets his back and begin to massage. You put up an illusion, so that someone on the street wouldn’t get a very strange surprise. Or Clint and Nat in the Quinjet, for that matter. Though you can’t imagine that  _ they’d _ be surprised. 

As close to an expert on Fae physiology as one can be, you know exactly what gains the most pleasure. Loki is, in seconds, panting and moaning uncontrollably under your practiced hands carding through the feathers and edging closer and closer to the bundle of nerves. Loki’s grinding into the paved roof of the lab, desperate for friction on his apparently aching cock. His hands are darting towards his pants to undo them, but are shaking so hard under the unrelenting pleasure coursing through his veins that he can’t get it. Tears are leaking from his eyes with the sheer amount of lust coursing through his veins. 

You use a fingernail to tease him, running around the cluster of nerves. You know if you press it it will result in him coming immediately, so you’d like to draw it out. Devastatingly stunning Fae Loki rutting into the roof of a building like a dog in heat, desperate for your ministrations in his hot-as-sin fallen-angel-crow-black feathered wings, his long elegant gold horns bobbing in the air in time with his thrusts…  _ fuuuuck _ . 

“You wanna come, Loki-Love?” you whisper in his ear seductively. 

“Yes, please…  **Master** ,” he pants. You freeze up.  _ What? What was that, Loki? Run that by me one more time, would you?  _ He goes practically stoic, though still rubbing himself in the ground and eyes gone with pleasure. Loki doesn’t even seem to be understanding what he said only that you’ve stopped. 

“S-sorry…it j-just came out… please, please keep going?” he whimpers desperately, still panting heavily, desperately. You smile at him, and resume where you left off.  _ I could get used to that.  _ You are not new to the effects a lover’s hands have when dancing through one's wings: it elicits even stronger pleasure than what you’d get when touching the parts meant for that. You’ve experienced it, when Loki had done it. Clearly, Loki was not prepared for the amount of bliss that came with that… and this is the result.  _ Can’t say I mind. It’s a nice change of pace.  _

“It’s okay, lovely, should I let you come? Tell me, baby,” you purr, embracing the very Loki like parts of you. 

“Yes, Master! Please, hnng-” he gargles, broken from the desperation of trying to orgasm.  _ It takes a lot of effort to get a Dark Fae to come!  _ You think.  _ The more you know. The more you can use to torture your boyfriend. _

“Okay,” you agree, and Loki screams and gasps and makes all sorts of filthy noises as he comes hard inside his trousers. His wings droop immediately. Loki lets them go slack and hang on the ground. It looks like a painting. 

***sexy fun times over***

“Minou, you shouldn’t leave them slack like that. It’s unhealthy,” you point out blandly, helping him up. Loki pants, barely understanding your words. With a shaky hand, he magics away the large wet spot on his crotch. 

“I apologize… for calling you… that… that  _ word _ ,”

“Master?” You sing at him.

Loki flushes deeply, ducking his head at the way you say it.

“I know you don’t like the idea of being a servant to another, but  _ I  _ think that when I say it… you get all hot and bothered, don’t you, minou?” Loki’s eyes widen and the blushes even more. His hands twitch, but his mouth remains firmly closed.  _ Because if he denies it, then I will know he is lying and that is almost as bad as outright saying that he liked the Master/Pet scenario with  _ **_him_ ** _ as the pet. I am, most definitely, using this knowledge later.  _

“Ahem… Does it feel like that for you, every single time?” 

_ Changing the subject, I see. Alright, but I won’t forget this.  _ You wink at Loki, and he clears his throat wanting to forget the entire ‘Master’ issue. 

“Pretty much. Takes a lot to get there, but man, when you do…”  _ you see stars.  _ You laugh at his shocked expression and how he shifts in his pants. “Ready to go to the Quinjet? You think you can fly?” Your voice betrays your elation about the idea. 

“Darling, I do not even have the power or experience to hold them up. I will practice, and then we may fly around the city together. Like how we did when you held me in your arms, except less demeaning to my persona,” he suggests. You peck his lips to voice your consent, and he lets himself shift back into Asgardian. The wings and horns zip away, and you know that Fae Loki will be nestled in your brain as one of the hottest damned things you’ve ever seen for the rest of your life. 

“The wings are very sensitive,” he notes. You nod. “It was quite educational, to be in your skin. Dark Fae are exceptional. And… I could… even… scent you?” he frames the statement as a question, and you drop the illusion protecting the two of you and begin forming a portal for Loki to get into the jet that has been approaching steadily. 

“Probably something to do with mates. From what I understand, during Blue Moons Fae find themselves an attractive smelling mate and…” 

“Reproduce,” Loki finishes. His eyes are alight with excitement. The gears are turning in his head, plans being created to mark his calendar for the next Blue Moon.

“Yeah. Mates last until the next Blue Moon, where they could relax the mate connection and pick a new one. I mean, I’m not sure, but also… pretty sure,” you explain as you open the portal and gesture for Loki to walk through it. 

“Have you… experienced this blue moon?” Loki questions curiously before stepping through the honey-gold portal. 

“Only once. It is… it is  _ wild _ . I couldn’t go outside for the two days the moon lasted, as I practically leaked arousal 24/7. No amount of coming would sate it. There was never a point in my life that I remember where I longed for a mate, or some semblance of a partner, more than that,” you recall. Loki grabs your wrist. 

“Now you have me. And I will shift into whatever you desire most, to give you a mate and all the pleasure you can imagine,” he professes, “you never have to spend another moon alone. And I believe you still owe me several days locked in my room…” 

You flush and push the heartsick flirty god into the portal. 

“I’ll be up in a minute, and then we take down Roboto and then we have our sex marathon, alright?” 

“Perfect…” Loki’s voice fades as he is transported directly inside the Quinjet overhead. You take a running start and then soar into the air, flapping your wings to gain momentum. You’re at the ship just in time to catch Natasha as she almost falls out, and place her back in the ship through the open back portion. Loki gives you a large lust-fueled grin from inside, and a small wave. 

You lean forward to go and fly into the plane to sit next to him. Your and his long hair whip around in the winds. The next few things happen very very fast. 

  1. Something grabs you from behind. It is strong and harsh and unyielding. 
  2. You scream Loki’s name. Loki was supposed to protect you. You trust Loki. 
  3. Loki screams your name, in the way that tears one's vocal cords in desperation. His smile is gone, and his expression is one of such heartbreaking fear that it pains you. He lurches towards you, arms outstretched as if the motion would stop the strange force from making off with you. You can just make out the tears in his eyes as he tries to jump off the plane after you. 
  4. You have no clue where this thing is taking you. You open your mouth to scream when the thing carrying you says, “Don’t fret little one. I will keep you safe, for the making of our new world.” 
  5. There is a harsh metal hand smacking into your temple to knock you out.



Ultron has stolen you away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns!!


	30. 3-14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki realizes that mating bonds, when unrequited, are very painful.

**Loki**

“Loki, you can’t jump off the plane after her! Let’s get the Cradle back to HQ, and then-” 

“NO! Let me GO, mortal wench, she  _ needs _ me! I have to- to protect her… let me go…” Loki’s angry exclamations taper off into weak sad whimpers. The Widow easily sets him back in the jet, and Loki collapses. He rubs the center of his chest, trying to rid himself of the horrible heart pains there, gasping with the pain in his lungs and heart cavity. He recalls from a book his mother had leant him once about the Asgardian Marriage Rituals, one of the ones he had so foolishly enacted on his love unrequited, causes heart pains when separated from their beloved but lends the abilities of emotional telepathy when you are close. 

Though the pain is proving to be a throbbing horrid one, he still doesn’t regret it. He could… he could feel her adoration. Perhaps she is not ready to say it to him, or maybe he’s blowing it out of proportion, but it was there. Made him want to stay by her side forever so he could feel that delightful feeling forever.

“Where is Fae?” Clint asks the two of you, oblivious to what has occurred while he was in the pilot’s seat. 

“Ultron took her. I-I need her, I need to back for her, need to find her,” Loki stammers. He notes that his body is shaking harshly. What had once been infatuation and puppy love for that woman who took him in has gone even past that: it is physical. He needs her by him, like he needs air to breathe. 

“We get the Cradle to Stark, and then we go and get her,” Clint counters. Loki shakes his head wildly.  _ You don’t understand, you don’t understand, I need her.  _ The need his body feels to simply bring her close into his arms and nuzzle her sweetly is nearly overpowering. 

“Hey. She’s going to be okay,” Clint reminds Loki.  _ I just wanted what you have. I shouldn’t have listened to her, should have spirited her away when I could. She would have been mad, but she’d forgive me. I’m her kitten.  _

“You don’t know that. That infernal creation, that shell of a being, could be hurting her…” Loki hisses. If she had agreed to the bond, taking it and giving it back, he’d be able to know. He’d feel what she was feeling no matter the distance between them. But, like a fool, Loki hadn’t even told her about any of it.  _ Foolish, foolish, Trickster.  _

Unsure if he can make it the rest of the flight without crying, Loki goes to a different corner of the Quinjet and curls up. His hands are tucked beneath his chest, and his knees are pulled in just as close. 

_ Darling, darling, darling  _

_ I love you  _

_ Love love love love love _

~~~~~

Someone shakes his shoulder, some unknown time later. 

“Hey, mischief. Time to get up, we’re back at the Tower,” 

It is the arrowsmith. 

“Leave me here until we leave to go retrieve my beloved from that monster,” Loki snarls. 

“You know, I’d love to do that, but you really have to get off the jet. My distaste for you is still in place, don’t worry, but even I won’t go as far as to leave you,” he returns. Loki groans as he attempts to rise, waving off this mortal’s hand. The ache in his soul that hits him is so mind boggling intense that Loki is immediately hunched over, sweating and hardly holding in his pained moans. 

“Whoa! Are you alright? Should I get a doctor or something?” 

“Just get me to her room. Please,” Loki moans.  _ I need her, need her scent… _ His research had told him that when separated, it was a good alternative to surround yourself with their smell to fool the body into thinking that their beloved is there.  __

“This better not be some trick…” Clint grunts, lifting Loki up with an arm. “Fuck, your skin is freezing!” 

“I’m a Frost Giant, you thick headed blunderer,” Loki insults. 

“If you’re going to be like that, I’m not going to help you to your girlfriend’s room. Which, btw, very strange,” Clint bickers. Loki falls silent, relying heavily on the arm that Clint has been lifting him with beneath his arms. They’re in the elevator when Clint speaks again, breaking the blissful silence. 

“But seriously man, are you okay? You’ve gone from your usual Dracula pale to straight up Casper. Kind of freaking me out,” he does actually sound concerned: Loki plays it off in his mind to being because the arrowsmith adores you and would not like to see you unhappy if Loki was to fade into nothingness. 

“I am fine. Or will be, once we get to the room,” Loki sighs, looking away from Clint. Clint moves and stands in front of him insistently. 

“You either tell me what the fuck is happening right now, or I will stop this elevator,” Clint restates. Loki’s eyes go wide. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Oh trust me, I will,” he hovers his fingers over the stop elevator button. Loki’s lips purse in a silent sneer, and he struggles to get up. 

“I prove nothing to you, arrowsmith. You hold no semblance of power over me, even if you have seen me in dark times. You do not know me,” Loki snarls. Clint blinks, taken aback. In his head, Loki knows that he’s hit a nerve. Hawkeye had been one of the people he’d controlled through the scepter when he’d come to earth under Thanos’s control. He was struggling, and in a large sum of pain. Sometimes, barely able to walk. Clint had… helped him? Either way. 

“Do not treat me like one of your brood. I am your senior by hundreds of years. I have seen and experienced things you can not dream of. I have dined on the heavenly fruits of Alfheim. Trained in magics on Vanaheim. I have felt more pain than you can possibly comprehend. My bones have been shattered, and then rearranged in grotesque ways. My mind stretched to the point of snapping. The only thing, the  _ single  _ thing that makes me  _ happy  _ is that woman.  _ You dare try and take that from me _ ?” Loki proclaims harshly. Clint steps back, hushed and cowed by his omission. The bell rings when they reach Loki’s and your floor. Clint helps Loki onto the floor, and Clint once again breaks his silence when they reach your door. Loki places his hand on it, and already feels calmer. 

“Did all that... really happen to you? Or are you bluffing?” the insistent man asks. Loki pauses right before entering the threshold of his love’s quarters. The door, open a crack, provides so much alluring comfort and familiar warmth that Loki can just barely forget about his aching chest. 

“You have had the pleasure of watching me like a nursemaid for over a year now. You decide,” Loki sighs, weakened by the whole ordeal. He leaves the arrowsmith like that, contemplating in the hall, as he walks into your room. 

It smells like you, despite the fact that you haven’t been occupying it for upwards of three days. 

Loki quite nearly crumples to the ground, the feeling of your presences so beautifully soothing that it eases the roar inside of him. He stumbles to your circular bed, falling into it and putting his head into the pillow. 

He nearly purrs. The noise is held back by his sense of solidity in this form. 

Then, he wonders, what holds him back? The only one who truly matters at this point adores him no matter what form he’s in. No matter how his identity bleeds through different forms, she treats him with the same kindness.    
  


Oh, how he misses you. 

Loki purrs into your pillow without worry. It’s loud and surely anyone who walked in would consider it obnoxious but it feels good. Not as good as when she scratches that sweet spot right behind his ears on his head and it’s so nice and… his purrs increase. 

He curls his body around the soft durable pillow and breathes in the scent of the tree he’d given you so long ago that you’d dubbed Sarah. The tree expels the relaxing aroma and pollen, and it is too easy for Loki to drift into a blissful sleep. 

~~~~~ 

“Loki?” 

His eyes shoot open. It’s you, it’s your voice, where are you-

“Darling?” The endearment comes out strained, desperate. He hadn’t meant it that way.

Your voice does not return. Loki carefully eases out of your bed, remaking it with seiðr to erase it of his presence as he’s done before. When he is stressed, he’d disappear and just… rest his eyes in her bed. 

He’s distracted, and then there’s a round of soft laughter from the hall. He stumbles forwards, shocked.  _ I shouldn’t be shocked. She probably used her portals. She came back to me. And now we’re playing a game.  _ It’s the game they’d played before Ultron was even a villain, when Loki chased her around the room like children. 

Loki is running out of the room, sliding on the floor and nearly ramming into the opposite wall. He scans the hall, and sees nothing. 

“Dearest… do not play games with me. Where are you?” Loki says. 

There’s a peal of laughter, high and tinkling and beautiful and it makes his heart fucking  _ soar _ , from the staircase.

“I’m coming for you, sweet. You cannot escape my grasp for long,” Loki sing-songs. He cannot resist your playful spirits. 

Up the stairs he goes, chasing the phantom noises. When he reaches the floor of the labs, the door is just shutting.  _ Got you, vixen.  _

He pushes open the door, and peeks out of it. A sneaky smile is forming on his face, thrilled by the game they’re playing. Glancing about the hall, there is no one. Loki is mystified by this, and walks into the hall. Out of a nearby office, the arrowsmith and widow stride out. 

“Oh, hey, Mischief-“ 

“Shh. Shut it. She’s here. I heard her, and I will not be able to hear her over your jabberings,” Loki hisses quietly. He does not miss the look that the two share. Surely, they question his sanity. 

He does not care. 

“Loki~” the voice hymns from the now open office door that the two Avengers had come out of. Natasha and Clint blink, hearing the call of his beloved. 

“Out of my way,” Loki snarls, throwing the two of them aside to dash inside the door. 

She is not there. There are no other doors. 

She is not safe. 

She has not returned. 

Loki’s heart plunges, sinking down to the pit of his stomach. He whimpers involuntarily. Loki’s head is hung as he turns to leave and- 

“Mon minou. I’m going to help,” she says sternly. Loki freezes, and slowly rotates around. 

“What in the world…” Clint speaks from the doorway, awestruck with the show of magic before him. 

Somehow, perhaps by impersonating him or by her own accord, his little Fae has learnt how to use astral projection. Before him and Nat and Clint is the unmistakable form of you (wings and horns and all), but made of hundred of thousands of tiny golden lights. They look like bright fireflies, and make the room shine.

“Darling… how are you able to do this?” Loki breathes, reaching towards the form to touch it. The air surrounding the projection is warm, as warm as the hot springs on Asgard. 

“Beautiful,” Nat speaks softly. She ducks her ethereal glowing formed head in a show of shyness. She seems to be unable to speak, maintaining a semi-physical form robbing her of voice. 

She raises a finger, and in the most miraculous and incredible act of magic, the nearby flowers and plants explode into bloom. They stretch across the room, showering it in colours and sweet smells. After a few seconds, not an inch of wall or ceiling isn’t covered by vines, leafy foliage, or beautiful blooms. 

“Wow…” Natasha makes out. Loki turns to her astral form. 

“You are my queen, my dream. Powerful and ethereal. Tell me how to find you, how to help you,” Loki begs of her. She inclines her head, and Loki turns to the wall she’s pointing at. On it, blooms have formed into a set of exact coordinates. Down to the fifth decimal. 

“This is perfect, exactly what we need to get ahead! Thank you!” Clint blabs. His voice fades out like background noise to Loki as he holds up a hand to your form. His eyes are wet.

You return the gesture, placing your hand flush to his.

“I miss you. I-I need you… the nightmares… I need you, my sunshine. To chase away the dark,” Loki whispers. In a flash, the lights separate and blink out. 

_ No, don’t leave! Don’t leave me.  _

“I’m not going to leave you, baby. I left you where to find me. You help the others, and then you rescue me. Like a prince in a storybook, hmm?” Her voice says into the shell of his ear. 

“I am no storybook hero. I am the antagonist, letting you be stolen away from those love,”

“That’s simply not true. And… I miss you. Together, you save me from my ivory tower and then we fight together. Alright, mon minou?” the voice is quieting and Loki understands that she can’t hold it any longer. The thought strains his heart. 

“Alright, my princess,” Loki gives in. She says something else, but it fades into nothingness like her semi-physical one. The Jotun inside of him whimpers, calling out to her, wishing his mate was here. The Jotun Mating Ritual was a difficult one, very complicated. Incomplete, it does not provide full benefits but the passion and animalistic tendencies are there. Hel, he  _ growled _ at Cho earlier for even mentioning that Ultron wanted to take her. 

And now that monster has. 

And it is tearing him apart. 

“Hey, Loki, I’ve plugged the coordinates in. We’re coming after her,” Natasha says joyously. 

_ I’m coming… don’t worry. I’m coming to bring you home to me.  _

**You**

“Are you awake? Did I hit you too hard? I’m sorry…” Ultron’s gritting voice calls out. You blink your eyes open, taking in his metal face. When you meet his excited gaze, he makes a strange metal grin. You immediately know that he has no knowledge of your secret communication with Loki and the Avengers. 

“Ah, good. Can I get you anything? Food, drink? I got some just for you. Can’t let the future stave away, can we?” He hums. 

“Um, excuse me. Why…”  _ Did you take me away from Loki and my family?  _ “Why am I here?” 

“The Avengers are not what’s best for you,” Ultron firmly states, taking a large silver player laden with fruits and breads and cheeses from a robot and holding it in front of him. 

“Are you though? How are you to know what’s best?” 

“See, that’s why you don’t belong with them. You’re intelligent, wise. You are the future. The evolved state of humanity. Once all the insects are gone, your kind, the elusive  _ Fae _ will have a chance to repopulate,” Ultron explains, carefully opening the door and slipping inside. You quickly glance to the open door.  _ Escape!  _

A Vibranium hand claps down on your wrist. You yelp in pain. His grip is death tight. He tosses you to the other side of the cell. You whine when your wings slam into the rock wall. Ultron seems upset by the noise. 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I really didn’t want to do that… You’re all I’ve got. And so beautiful… the epitome of life on this planet. You just make it so hard, not wanting to cooperate,” Ultron stalks closer, his metal fingers out to cup your chin. 

“Don’t touch me. You  _ killed  _ Jarvis. You  _ killed _ my friend. You claim you work for peace, that you're supposed to save the world. You cannot say that, and kill. Being an executioner is the opposite of being a liberator,” you accuse. Ultron looks at you, investigating your every pore. 

“That, my dear, is exactly why  _ you  _ are going to be my conduit. I will lure you to my side,” Ultron purrs.  _ But… he no longer has the scepter. How…? _

“Once I deal with those ‘Avengers’, I will take your little boyfriend into my custody. I will stop from exterminating him, as I know it will leave you heartbroken. And in exchange for your help… I will let you be with him.

And, in exchange for your freedoms and your lover, I need your children. The children you will sire with an alien that powerful, the mighty Loki of Asgard, will populate the new world,” Ultron explains. 

You shudder. You love Loki, you do… but this, what Ultron’s said… that’s treating you like an animal, a breeding bitch. 

“That is no life. Me and Loki, we’d never do that. And you can’t make me. I’m stronger than you,” you insult, angry. The emotion lends you rash confidence. Ultron sighs, and leaves the food and drink as he leaves. 

You struggle to your feet, and start making a portal. Ultron notices as he’s leaving, and zaps you with a concussion ray. You fall to the floor. As you begin to fade into a forced sleep, you watch as Ultron steps forward.

“You’ll be okay, you’ll see that my way is best. Because, you know, ’what doesn’t kill you…’” another, improved version of Ultron pulls the body apart, and finished the sentence, “makes you stronger.” 

You utter a soft ‘no’ as your consciousness leaves you. 

_ Loki’s coming, coming home. Mon minou, my kitten.  _

_... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions comments concerns! 
> 
> Also, just a heads up: I’ve written enough of this ahead of time so it shouldn’t be an issue but recently I have been doing a writing favor for a good friend of mine... we’re both into Sanders Sides so I’m also writing a Prinxiety fic at the same time as this. It’s on the shorter side, so I should still be able to post chapters here next week too but who knows. 
> 
> And if you’re into Sanders Sides, then look out for “Check Yes, Juliet” coming soon to an Archives near you.


	31. 3-15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the final piece to defeat Ultron finally clicks.

**Loki**

_ This is taking too long.  _

Widow has plugged in the coordinates that you had given them.  _ We should be going.  _

“I know you’re antsy, but we need to get Tony. He’s still with the Cradle upstairs… so if you want to bug him to go faster, go right ahead,” she suggests. 

Loki nods, failing to look nonchalant as he races upstairs. 

Something stops him from bursting into the room, and he instead silently moves to the doorframe to listen in. 

“The framework is not complete,” Starks says. 

“The genetic coding tower is at 97%. Lemme fix it, ” Bruce rebuts, clearly working about something. 

Loki, curious, peeks around the corner and nearly gasps. 

“Hello, Mr. Laufeyson,” Jarvis says. The very first thing that Loki thinks:  _ She’s going to be so thrilled.  _

“Greetings,” he pipes, his original objective completely forgotten. Tony gives him a nod from next to the Cradle. 

Loki doesn’t realize that he has been slowly approaching the 3D Jarvis until he addresses him. 

“Mr. Laufeyson. How-how is she?” Jarvis asks, almost nervous. 

“She mourned for you. Weeped for hours on end. It has been hard. Though, I can’t dream of how ecstatic she’ll be about your return, Jarvis,” Loki casts him a small smile. The conversation between Tony and Bruce continues whilst Loki talks with the AI. 

“Oh,” Jarvis breathes (not literally), and Tony glances towards Loki. 

“Did you find where Fae is?” Jarvis asks. 

“Yes. She used a complicated bit of magic that I never knew was possible for her and spelled the coordinates out with foliage,” Loki recounts drily. 

“If I may, what kind of magic?’” 

“Astral Projection,” Loki answers, a proud smile crossing his features. 

“If my research is to be believed, that is a power that has only been seen in aliens classified under ’Gods’,”

“Exactly,” Loki smiles. Suddenly, Steve Rogers and the two Maximoffs burst into the room. Loki is defensive immediately, hand outstretched to move you behind- wait. Loki settles for summoning his knives instead, as the heart pain flares in upset at the loss of the one he should be protecting. 

“I'm gonna say this once,” Steve announces. 

“How about ‘nonce’?” Tony teases. 

“Shut. It. Down,” Steve growls. Loki could not care less about what is inside the Cradle. If it doesn’t attempt to rob him of his future with you, it does not matter. 

“Nope, not gonna happen,” Tony quips. He is not taking it seriously. Whatsoever, and it makes Loki snort in laughter. 

“You don't know what you're doing,” Steve switches tactics, becoming more placating. Loki’s eyes twitch at the statement, so familiar. Odin had said something similar to him. Anger wells up. 

“And you do? That witch hasn’t tampered with you?” Loki snarls at Wanda. If he was in feline form, his fur would be on end.  _ I will never forget what you did to me. How you hurt me, to hurt her, how much she cried. _

“I know you are angry, that’s understandable-” 

“NO. There is only  _ one _ reason why you aren’t choking in my hands right now, and it is because of…”

“Fae. Your lover. I am aware,” Wanda whispers, looking at her hands. Loki’s on her in minutes, Steve and Pietro attempting to pull a wilding possessive animal away from slaughter. 

“Do not even  _ speak  _ of her. I will cut out your tongue, and then feed it to you,” Loki screams at her. _How dare you even... this is your fault!_

“Whoa, soldier, come on, stop,” Steve murmurs, finally getting a good hold on his shoulder and throwing him back. Loki glares at them, forcing them to look away first before brooding. 

“Maybe that was a little much, after everything that’s happened,” Steve says. 

“That’s nothing compared to what's coming!” Tony shouts. 

“You don’t know what's in there!” Wanda shouts right back. Loki places his hands over his ears.  _ Just let me get her. Stop arguing.  _

They continue to bicker, going to the point of the fast one pulling out the tubes connecting to the Cradle, bullets being shot at through the floor, anger and powers everywhere. He closes his eyes in the shadowy corner.

Loki had once thrived in chaos. 

Now, he just feels longing. 

Longing for you. 

The eye of the storm, his source of calm. 

It hurts. 

As if summoned by the word ‘storm’, Thor crashes into the room and brings the Cradle to completion with righteous lightning. 

And out of the Cradle, comes a humanoid figure with the Mind Stone inside his head. He is red, with lines running up and down his body. It glances about the room, eyes snagging on Loki for a moment too long for his liking. Knives reappear in his hands. 

In a flash, it throws himself at Loki. Loki’s ready, preparing… and Thor grabs it midair and tosses him through a window into the living space nearby. The team rushes to meet it, and then… the robot is ensnared mid flight. By the sight of the city before it. 

The thought hits him like a hammer to the face: the enraptured look it has at the lights. You do that. Just… stare at the world around you, basking in the beauty of it all. Loki hadn’t seen the beauty of things since you, still hasn’t seen it the way you do. Thor holds out a hand to halt the battle. 

The robotic man (or monstrosity) notices its reflection in the mirror. It is… contemplative. 

Seemingly content and saited, it turns, changing its exterior to a green bodysuit. It is calm now, and Loki relaxes his weapons completely. It flies to the ground, and ever the amicable (to the point of stupidity, Loki thinks) Thor walks to greet him. 

“I’m sorry… that was… odd,” it says. Loki’s heart seizes, because it would be what you’d feel if you heard your near friend Jarvis’s voice who had been forced to be incorporeal for so long in a physical form. Loki feels it is suitable to refer to the robot as ‘he’. He thanks Thor. 

And then mimics his cape! The insolence of this robot! Thor’s fashion is one of a brute who had been dressed by his mother and squires for all his life! Do not copy his style! Loki has  _ always _ been the more fashionable brother… Thor would be content to walk about with a loincloth. 

It pains Loki to see such pitiful decisions from a seemingly intelligent man. 

“Thor, you helped create this?” Steve questions. 

“I had a vision,” Thor begins. Loki looks at him with a slightly betrayed expression. Loki, since he was a little boy still obsessed with reading lore of Asgard, had always wished to go to the vision pool of the Norns. And Thor had gone without him. Thor, apologetic, mouths out ‘I’m sorry’. Loki pouts childishly. He wishes for this whole ordeal to be completed so that he can just settle in with his love. “A whirlpool that sucks in all hope of life and at its center is that gem,”

“The gem?” 

“It is the Mind Stone. One of the Infinity Stones. Together, you’d have all the power in the universe. Could destroy and create life on a whim,” Loki explains, wellaware of the shadows crossing his face. 

He had once been so opposed to the idea of telling the only one he trusted about these. And now he has to tell all. Even before in Barton’s home when he had the briefest of mentions of it it would cause him shivers. 

“Then why would you bring it to…” Rogers further asks. 

“Because Stark is right,” Thor simply states. Loki immediately breaks down into guffaws, holding his chest. 

“It’s definitely the end times,” Banner snorts. 

“The Avengers cannot defeat Ultron,” Thor explains. 

_ I could have told you that after the first battle.  _

“Not alone,” the robot pipes in. Loki regards him with a disrespectful glance, shredding him with his eyes for analysis. 

“Why does he sound as if he were Jarvis?” Loki asks softly. 

“We...we reconfigured JARVIS' matrix to create something new. Fae… she was right. JARVIS was more than a program. He… he had adapted to be more. It was the perfect decision to put the consciousness inside,” Tony explains. 

_ That woman is always right. Even if she is incorrect, she is right.  _

“I think I’ve had my fill of new,” Rogers grumbles. 

“You think I'm a child of Ultron,” the ‘vision’ states, blatant. 

“Well, are you?” something inside Loki stirs at the idea of conversing with this strange entity. He is already proving to be unlike anything else: well, unlike anything besides you. You would like him. The two of you think the same. 

“I'm not Ultron. I'm not JARVIS. I am...I am,” it looks at his hands. Loki moves fast, too fast, and is suddenly face to face with the man. 

“She would say things like that. To Jarvis, when they talked,” Loki hisses. 

“She… Fae. The one you love. Yes. She would say something like that to the... JARVIS,” it responds. Loki, the phantom worries soothed steps back for another persecutor to ask questions of the robot.

“I looked in your head and saw annihilation,” Wanda accuses. 

“Look again,” he says, simply. This Vision... Loki detects no ill will. He is good at reading, books and people alike. 

Clint snorts, “Yeah. Her seal of approval means jack to me.” Loki nods in agreement, baring his teeth animalistically at her. Somewhere inside he knows that it is not her fault, that she was manipulated with a master hand, but it is so much easier to blame her. 

“Their powers, the horrors in our heads, Ultron himself, they all came from the Mind Stone, and they're nothing compared to what it can unleash. But with it on our side…” Loki gives in. Thor looks at him, a wide proud smile on his face. “I have felt the Mind Stone’s power firsthand. No buffer. Just it’s ruthless power forced upon me… until… until I broke. The only chance we have is it on the side of life.” The room looks at Loki, and Loki tries to shut out the memories of torture. Of reshaping memories and warped thoughts. He focuses on his grounding light. His hands twitch, looking for your body to hold and kiss to rid himself of them. Instead, he must settle for Thor’s brutish sweaty scent enveloping him when he is hugged by his foster brother. 

Loki pushes him off almost immediately. 

“Is it? Are you? On our side?” Steve questions. 

“I don't think it's that simple…” Vision ponders aloud. Definitely a new friend for you. 

“Well it better get real simple real soon,” Clint threatens. 

“As the God of Mischief had said. I am on the side of life. Ultron isn't, he will end it all,” Vision explains, as if it were easy to understand. 

“The question still remains. What's he waiting for? He has his ‘queen’, sorry Reindeer Games, and an army. Why not now?” Tony asks, the first acutely helpful thing Loki has heard him say in a long while. 

“You. All of you,” it says, taking a meaningful look at both Tony and Loki. 

“In Sokovia, correct?” Natasha speaks up, for the first time in this interrogation. She’s been taking silent mental notes in the corner, and Loki can appreciate that. Vision nods. 

“If we're wrong about you, if you're the monster that Ultron made you to be…” Bruce warns. 

“ What will you do?” He takes a careful look about the room, and sees death written on everyone's face. “I don't want to kill Ultron. He's unique, and he's in pain. But that pain will roll over the earth, so he must be destroyed. Every form he's built, every trace of his presence on the net, we have to act now. And not one of us can do it without the others. Maybe I am a monster. I don't think I'd know if I were one. I'm not what you are, and not what you intended. So there may be no way to make you trust me. But we need to go.” 

It takes Loki a moment to register that Vision has effortlessly lifted Mljnoir off of the ground and hands it to Thor.  _ Why is suddenly everyone able to lift the hammer? _ Thor blinks, then smiles and pats Tony on the back. 

“Right. Well done,” he booms. The team separates to go and get ready. 

Loki simply finds a comfortable chair and sits in it. He focuses incredibly hard, and follows down the fragile bond to you. You are frightened, but resilient.  _ This is why I love you. _ He holds you mentally, and expels soothing love so that you can get some rest before the battle really begins. 

He’s barely closed his eyes when a persistent hand shakes his shoulder. 

“What.” 

“Oh-um sorry to bother you… I just… how are you doing?” Banner finally spits out his question, quite pitifully, and Loki rolls his eyes. 

“I’m perfectly content,” he deadpans. 

“Really?” Banner goes wide eyed, then places the sarcasm with a quiet ‘oh’. 

“I simply wish to retrieve my darling, and then leave this sorry place forever,” Loki sighs, wringing his hands and looking at them intently. You liked his hands, noting about all the wondrous things they have done over the centuries: people they’ve met, magic things that they’ve touched, things they’ve held in their long soft elegant digits. You liked the colours he’d make them, greens and golds and blacks. He’d never cared much for any of it until you pointed it out. Banners yammerings thrust him out of memory. 

“You say that like you have plans for the two of you,” Banner hums, sitting down next to him conversationally. Loki does not want it. He wants him to be left alone. 

After a moment of deducing the best course of action, Loki decides to confide in this bookish man and then press him to leave. 

“We do. Well, not completely. I have purchased a house in Norway, a beautiful manor by the sea. We… I am attempting to work towards the kind of life that the archer has retained. She is… hesitant, but I am working on it. The offer is attractive, and I know that she enjoys being with me and the relationship as it pertains to the current day,” 

“You… you really think you can just  _ leave _ ? Tony will never let you,” Banner snorts. Loki gives him a shrewd smirk. 

“True, but he would undoubtedly let her if she asked him. Stark may have endless distaste for me, but he adores her,” Loki smiles up at the ceiling. Bruce places a tentative hand on Loki. He flinches and goes stiff. 

“You know that we’re not going to leave her behind, right? We all love Fae. And we’re going to get her back,” 

“I do not care if you want to get her back. I am retrieving my lover and that is a promise. There… there is no ulterior option for me,” Loki states robotically. To ward off Banner and his practically incessant chatter blocking his focus on your life, Loki glares at him and prods him with a finger. Banner finally takes the hint, blushing and muttering apologies under his breath. 

“You know… maybe I should bring up that whole retiring and having a home thing. If you and Clint can do it, I can with Nat, right?” he muses excitedly. Loki rolls his eyes, and then keeps them closed.  _ Annoying prick. Better than his green counterpart, but still… pest.  _

“Fine, whatever. Leave me be, to brood in peace, til it comes time for battle,” Loki hisses. Bruce nods meekly and rushes away. Loki sighs, alone at last. 

It is a struggle to regain connection with you, and most likely unwise to expend so much energy on a most likely fruitless endeavor but- there. There you are. 

He can just barely make out your form on the insides of his eyelids. Wings wrapped around yourself protectively, unconscious. Though the separation gives him pain, this is why he did the bonds. He wants- no,  _ needs _ to know where you are. To keep you safe. 

He knows forthright of this universe’s dangers, most definitely for a sweet young Fae like yourself. 

If something had happened to you…

He’d never forgive himself. Loki could not bear it. 

Undoubtedly, you are the best thing that has ever happened to him. A delicate bloom, in a sea of blood and pain. 

In his mind, he sees you whimper and turn, a dark bruise forming on your arm. Rage erupts inside of him.  _ Ultron hurt her. She is hurt. I need to… need to get to her, heal her, why in Hel am I still sitting around? SHE IS IN PAIN.  _ He realizes offhand that he is shaking terribly. 

_ Right. The Avengers.  _

_ I will be gone from them soon enough. And then there will be nothing in the way to prohibit me from being with her all of the time. Or at least… knowing that she is safe.  _

**You**

You’re groaning as you wake, barely aware of what’s going on. There are running noises outside the cell. You look up to the cage door. 

“DARLING!” Loki yells, then notices you in the cage. Blearily, you notice that magic is coming off him in waves. It’s obvious that he’s been looking for you for a while, from the frantic look in his eyes and the twitching in his fingers. He’s in his battle leathers, horned helmet adorning his head. You struggle to stand up, having not eaten the food or drunk the water for fear that Ultron had spiked both of them with something. 

“Minou?” you ask hopefully. Loki uses magic to blast the door open and is running to your side, pulling you into his lap to nuzzle your neck. Your body is flush to his, and you sigh happily, wrapping your arms and wings about him. 

“Oh, darling, I’m so sorry for letting you get taken. Did he- did he hurt you?” he whimpers. You show him your bruised arm, a handprint forming steadily. It throbs with a steady ache. A dry sob escapes him, and Loki daintily takes the arm and gives it a breath of a kiss. You smile at him, and he looks at you with tears in his eyes. He looks away when you notice, and begins to work on erasing the bruising with a faintly glowing hand. You’re still nestled in his lap, and rest your head on his shoulder comfortably. He murmurs ‘you’re safe, you’re safe,’ over and over under his breath, seemingly to console you. You’re fine, content with knowing that Loki’s here now, but he seems to be having way more issues. His rubbing of your back seems less like a comfort now and more of an uncontrollable urge. 

“Why are you crying, minou?” you whisper. 

“I-I… you… he hurt… you… I can’t…” he stutters, tears finally trailing down his cheeks slowly. They’re caught by his sharp cheekbones and you reach up like a sunflower to the dawn and kiss them away. 

“Nothing I can’t handle. I’m just glad you’re here now,” you tell him, keeping your tone light. Your heart reaches out to Loki: no one should go through the horrible nightmare that he did and then have to stop it immediately after from becoming a reality. Of course, that was Ultron’s plan all along… you have to admit, it was an effective one. If you hadn’t screwed it up for him, obviously. He leans his head against your horns. 

“I’m just… I’m happy that you only sustained minimal damage. And… and I’m proud that you were able to do such complicated magic to reach out to us. You’re incredible. And I love you. And-” he stammers, tears halting but emotion still waterfalling. 

You kiss him softly, no heated need, just infatuation. Loki sighs into your mouth. 

“Feel a little better, minou,” you breathe, intending it as a question but coming out as a statement after the sweet conjoinment of lips. Loki smiles a small little cute smile and nods. A glance to your arm sees that Loki has finished his healings. They’re not as powerful as yours, not by a long shot, but it certainly doesn’t ache anymore.

“Good. How’s it looking out there?” you murmur, familiarizing yourself with his lanky body with roving hands. Loki stifles a moan. 

“It is going… well? I- ahh- helped the witch evacuate the city. And then I left to find you…” he purrs loudly when you scratch behind his ear. 

“Okay… is Ultron still at large?” 

“Yes. He has an army, which you have undoubtedly seen, and we are a-aactively in battle,” he keens at the end of the sentence, as your hands work through a knot in his shoulder. You beam at him, at your sweet minou. 

“Then we have to go help!” 

“Are you quite sure? Have you recovered?” he is instantly fretting, and you decide to kiss him again. It’s been a day since you’ve been captured, but it feels like ages since you’ve kissed his delightful smirk. 

“I’m fine. You already took care of everything. Ultron really didn’t want to hurt me anyways… the goal was to keep me alive to deal with the aftermath of killing everyone. Sokovia is flying, correct?” 

“You are correct,” he affirms. You attempt to get up, but Loki stubbornly refuses and holds you in his grip. You sigh and allow him to cradle you a little longer. He buries his head in your neck, kissing the pulse point there after giving it a nuzzle. Finally, he inhales deeply and maneuvers his long form to allow for you to escape. You pop up on shaky legs, fawn-like from being in an uncomfortable position for too long, and reach a hand down to him. He takes it, and towers over you when he stands. 

In the gloom of the cell, Loki seems even taller than normal. You’re usually a considerable amount shorter than him (but honestly who isn’t), your head perfectly suited for him to rest his head on, but you haven’t really noticed how regal it makes him until this moment. 

There's a beat of silence. 

Then Loki’s utop you with a raving hunger, devouring your lips with teeth and tongue. You’re surprised, then fighting it…but inevitably you give into this frankly  _ talented _ man. His hands are running up and down your back and ass, and you pull on his hair. He moans like… well, like a god. There is a sputtering from Loki’s almost completely concealed earpiece. 

“Did you find her? If you did, you  _ better  _ not be playing hide the zucchini. You know what? You two probably are. If you don’t respond in the next five seconds, I’m going there myself. And god knows I’m not a voyeur. But I am a master at ridicule and blackmail. 1… 2…” Tony starts to count, faintly, through his earpiece. Loki groans, his nose scrunching up in frustration. 

“Yes, I found her,  _ Stark _ . And if you don’t  _ shut up _ I am going to choke you-” Loki is cut off by you plucking the earpiece from his ear, brushing it off, and putting it into yours. 

“Hi Tony! Yeah, I’m fine. Where do you need us?” you chirp into it. 

“You are so much nicer to talk to than Hornhead, kiddo. The Eastern sector has been practically overrun and the rest of us are preoccupied… Can you entice your boyfriend to zap some clones over there? And, you know, just keep his comm. We might need you for medical,” he drones. With that, the comm goes out, and Loki hovers by your face. You look at him and his beautiful features, and cup Loki’s face in both of your hands. 

“Is this where I say I can hold the world in my hands?” you teasingly flirt. Loki flushes deeply, and bites his lip. He looks positively tickled at the pickup line. “Never heard that one before?” He shakes his head, and you laugh as you lead him away from the horrid cage and into the awaiting daylight. The second you hit the air, Loki’s hand in yours, there's an influx of power in your veins. 

“Hey minou…” 

“Yes?”

“It’s a supermoon. Or a really big full moon,” you state, feeling the magic rushing about your body. He looks at you curiously, then smirks. 

“Lets go bash in the heads of that robot bastard, then, hmm?” 

You grin, and Loki takes your naginata out of his pocket dimension and hands it to you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions comments concerns!!
> 
> Also, does anyone have any fun ideas for just slice of life adventures? Pair an Avenger with an activity (including Peter Parker, Scott Lang, and all of the people introduced here). Be creative! Give me Steve Rogers on bumper cars! Or Peter Parker at a cat cafe!


	32. 3-16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ultron’s really gotta go.

You head straight to the Eastern portion of Sokovia. You should have known: it was foreshadowed, wasn’t it, that you were going to end up fighting here again. The scepter. It seemed miraculous that nothing truly bad had happened after retrieving it: you know better than that. In life, there’s always cause and effect, but it’s not a line. It’s endless like a circle. Things cause each other in perpetual agony and eternal grace. 

You have to take the good things whence they’re available, and make sure to weather them through when another inevitable storm comes. 

You smash another robot in the face amist your musings. Take a look at the levitating horned god. 

“What are you thinking about so hard?” Loki pants, retrieving a blade from the corpse of a metal puppet. 

“When can we go to Norway?” You ask blatantly, giving him an open expression. The robots that have been steadily coming are frozen with green seiðr. Loki stops breathing for a moment and then trudges, walks, sprints, to you. He kisses you. 

“You do not jest?” 

“Nope. It’s what I want. And honestly, it all sounds really nice. I think I’d like it there. And if I miss the city, we can just portal back together. If the other Avengers need help, we do that together too. If a threat comes, we do it together. Right?” You grin up at him, and think that Loki’s poor heart stalls. 

“Yes. Yes, yes!” Loki whoops, grabbing you by the waist and hoisting you in the air. You’re spun round and round, screaming in laughter. 

“It sounds like someone is having too much fun…” Clint snickers over the comm, “But we do need you guys at the center of the city, if you’re good over there.” You ignore it. Who cares? 

Right. 

You do. You’ve been ignoring the banter the teams been having, a little caught up with the Ultron bots. Apparently, this eastern sector had a whole bunker of em. 

“Loki, baby, we gotta go to the center again. Where the engine lifting the city is?” You giggle. Loki gives a confused look, then is reminded of the situation at hand. With a wave of his hand, the droids that had been frozen break apart. 

“I had forgotten the dire means of this mission, and the lives at stake,” he remarks sheepishly. You boop his nose and then take off. He chases after you on foot, teleporting every few feet to stay beneath you. You’re so happy…  _ free _ … that the foliage around you blooms. Ivy climbs up walls, trees reach towards the sun with wanting hands, little wildflowers popping up unbidden. 

You don’t have control over nature. It just… listens to you. Like two tuning forks, you’re on the same wavelength. And you can assume, as the only known Fae in current existence, Nature is very happy that you’re happy. 

Loki complains after the third overexcited root almost trips him. 

“Darling, we are almost there, but could you perhaps refrain from bringing them up underfoot?” 

“Oh! Sorry minou,” you giggle, the carefree noise turning mischievous. The greenery agrees with your silent impish suggestion. The next time Loki presses a foot into the ground, a nearby vine wraps around his ankle and throws (yeets) him into the air. He’s thrown with such vigor that he flies above you, and it’s a spin in the air to catch him. 

“Oof, you’re heavy,” you puff, straining your wings to stay in the air. Loki holds onto you for dear life as you flap our the next few hundred feet to get to the place where all the fighting is occurring. Loki is  _ heavy. _ Still, you set him down gently a ways away so that the two of you can run in. 

“Let’s never do that again in this form, Mhmm?” He pants, trying to regain a normal heartbeat. You kiss his cheek, unable to stay off of him for long. “My sweet love.” 

“Let’s go to battle!” You command theatrically, and he bows dramatically. You giggle immediately and he smiles. Loki has a good smile. 

_ Shit, gotta focus.  _

The rest of the Avengers aren’t there yet, just loads of robots. You notice a small family huddled under some debris. 

“Loki-love,” you smack his shoulder, pointing to the family, “There’s still people here! We can’t be destroying people before that! This place is going to fall! I need to help!” You exclaim, already heading back to grab them. Loki tries to follow you, but you stop him. “Go help your brother, minou. I can do this,” 

Loki looks like he’s trying to hide his terror. He is failing miserably. Go, you mouth. 

“No-no, not now, I have to stay with you-“

“Minou, I’ll be okay. I know you’re scared. But everything’s gonna be alright,” you brush his cheek, and then shoot off to help the family. 

Loki grumbles worriedly, but teleports off in a green flash anyway. 

Vines pull away the column that had trapped the young boy, girl, baby, and mother under and you wave. They seem scared, why-  _ oh yes. I look like a demon.  _

_ Or in a biblical sense, anyway.  _

“Don’t worry. I’m with the Avengers, here to help. I can get you guys to safety, alright?” You say sweetly, placatingly. The mother is hesitant, but desperate as she takes your outstretched hand. 

You open a portal, and herd the family into it. The little boy shirks away, even as the mother yells at him with tears in her eyes. You give her a smile, and let her know silently that you’ll reunite them in a bit. 

She is crying quietly but nods. 

The portal closes, and the boy is shaking. You kneel down to his level. 

“Do you know English?” You ask.

“Um, yes. I learned in classes,” he stammers. You hold out your hand, tucking wings to seem smaller and less of a threat. 

“Well, hello then. I am Fae, I’m with the Avengers. What’s your name?” 

“I’m Victor,”

“That’s cool! I’ve never met a Victor before,” you smile at him, and he returns it shyly. “Now, Victor, I’ve got to get you to your mother. She’s in a different part of the city now, waiting for you.” 

“I don’t want to go through the magic… it’s scary,” he whispers. 

“Oh! That’s alright. You know, I know another little boy like you that prefers a different method of travel…” you say slyly, extending the right wing slowly. Victor lights up. 

Soon after, you’re flying through the city, diving and dodging. Victor is somehow not scared of this, rather exhilarated. 

You drop him off with his sobbing mother, who is very grateful to have him back. You wave it off, just doing my job, and see Natasha and Steve nearby. 

You tackle Steve and give him a huge hug. 

“I see you’re not hurt by this experience at all,” he guffaws. You shrug. 

“I’m in a good mood, despite it all,” 

“Only you,” Nat rolls her eyes goodnaturedly. You watch as Steve places a hand on his earpiece.

“The next wave's gonna hit any minute. What have you got, Stark?” 

“Well, nothing great. Maybe a way to blow up the city. That'll keep it from impacting the surface if you guys can get clear,” Tony responds. You cringe, and shake your head at that. There’s hundreds of innocents here. Maybe you could get a couple dozen to the ground with a large portal, but if you pushed for all of them, you’d undoubtedly be using your life force and most likely perish. 

And you just made all those plans, so you’re kinda keen on  _ not dying today.  _

“I asked for a solution, not an escape plan,” Steve says roughly. You have to nod in agreement. 

“Impact radius is getting bigger every second. We're going to have to make a choice,” 

“This is a new level of indecisive,” you remark drily, attempting to retain your chipper mood through badly placed humor. 

“Not the time,” Nat says sadly. 

“Yeah, I know. It’s just… I could try to get some of the people down, but I- I don’t think I would make it. But maybe if I do that and everyone else gets down I can just die with the rock-“ 

“We are  _ not  _ letting you die up here. There’s got to be another way, with no mass casualties or the Avenger’s sweetheart becoming a martyr,” Steve insists. You shrug, knowing full well that if nothing else presents itself… 

You’d miss Loki. Everyone else too… but you’re already hurting for what Loki would be like if you died. He’d blame himself, obviously. Be miserable. Probably enact mass murder. 

Maybe he’d carry you in his arms, the baby cradle way you’ve grown to love, and ravage the land with green fire as he did in his dream. 

“You are not going to sacrifice yourself!” Nat shakes you harshly. You wipe at your eyes and try to stand straight. 

“If it’s our only option, I’ll do it. You… you just have to tell Loki, that it’s not his fault, a-and to blame me and not him, a-and… a-and that I loved him very very much,” you’re really trying not to cry now. Nat is still shaking you, yelling but it falls on deaf ears. You understand that it really may be the only option for the Avengers to win and not inadvertently commit mass genocide of the public. 

“You guys… you guys take down Ultron and then leave,” you whisper, looking out at the mountains beyond the floating city. 

“I didn't say we would leave you. We go down together, alright? And even then… there's worse ways to go. Where else am I gonna get a view like this?” she throws an arm over your shoulder, and gives you a half smile. Steve wraps his hand around your waist, and you wipe the last of the forming tears away. 

“Yeah,” you contemplate. 

“Glad you like the view, you three. It's about to get better,” a splendidly familiar voice says over the comm. You step forwards, and start hysterically laughing in elation. The Helicarrier. Fury has brought up the Helicarrier to save the people. No one’s martyring today. “Nice, right? I pulled her out of mothballs with a couple of old friends. She's dusty, but she'll do.” 

“Nick! Thank everyone and anyone for you, Nick,” you laugh, jumping into the air joyously. 

“Fury, you son of a bitch,” Steve chuckles. 

“Ooh, Steven, language,” you snort midair. You soar directly to the bridge of the Helicarrier, and wave to Fury from outside the window. He waves back, you blow him a kiss, and then shoot back to the fight. 

“You kiss your mother with that mouth, Rogers?” Nick snarkily responds. 

Lifeboats begin hovering out from the ship and going down to save the people. You fly in loops around them, still laughing and waving at each and every one of the staff. Some of them recognize you and your bubbly energy and wave back energetically, some don’t and give you a confused look and small hand. Rhodey, in full War Machine armour, whirls by in the sky. The fear and sadness that had been allconsuming moments ago is completely eradicated. It seems like you can actually do this. 

You help lead the families to the lifeboats, most of them seeing your friendly smile first and the horns second. They trust the smile. Steve comes up next to you, bashing in the head of a nearby robot. 

A certain silver haired flash appears beside you and Steve. 

“This is SHIELD?” he asks, looking at the machines in awe. 

“This is what SHIELD's supposed to be,” Steve replies, helping cart people. You walk up to the mutant. 

“Hello, I’m Fae. You’re Pietro, right?” 

He blinks, surprised at your easy smile and lighthearted way of speaking. 

“Your boyfriend threatened to tear out my vocal cords when he mentioned you. And you… are not like him? At all?” 

“Not really. He’s all ‘argh, dark and brooding, stabbing!’ and I’m more ‘woooo sunshine lollipops rainbows and everything!’” you mime. Pietro is taken aback but laughs nonetheless. He holds a hand out to you. 

“I apologize for trying to kill you,” he says sincerely. 

“And I you,” you smile, taking his hand and pulling him in instead for a hug he most definitely was not expecting. He pats your back awkwardly. You pull back and grin, before heading away to help more people aboard the blessed SHIELD lifeboats. 

“Do you work for SHIELD?” he appears by your side once more. 

“I work for the good guys, who want to help the people and the world,” you answer. 

“That is a good point. Are SHIELD the good guys, as you say?” 

“Yeah, I think so. Nick- err, Fury, is the head of SHIELD, and he’s pretty great. He has a cool eyepatch too. Sorta like a cross between Morpheus from The Matrix and a pirate captain,” you explain, giggling at your analogy. It shouldn’t work, but it does. 

“That is the movie with the two pills and the robots, right?” 

“Yeah, have you seen it?” 

Somehow, you manage to have a ten minute conversation amidst the various far away explosions, frantic people, and battle, about the 1999 classic sci fi hit The Matrix. 

“Perhaps I should join this pirate of Fury in the future?” 

“Maybe you could foster a friendship between SHIELD and the X-Men? I know SHIELD’s been vying for a partnership with Dr. Xavier  _ forever _ ,” you laugh. Quicksilver gives you a confused look. 

“X-Men?”

“You know, the team of mutants? Enhanced people, fighting together in yellow and blue? There’s Wolverine, and Storm, and Jean Grey...?” 

“I have no clue what you speak of. Am I a mutant?” he questions. 

“Yeah. You’re an enhanced person, with powers. That usually comes from the X-gene, and from what I’ve learned about you, Strucker did experiments with messing with genetics by forcibly inserting the X-gene into children, as X-Men develop powers at puberty. That’s a mutant. You know, I don’t know Dr. X personally, but I’ll walk you over there. I think that you and them could make some great steps, in alliances and Mutant rights. This is a big human rights issue, you seriously don’t know?” 

“I had been working with Strucker for many years, since I was little boy. I… the human rights issues were not my greatest concern,” he remarks. You nod in sympathy. “Are you a Mutant?” 

“No, no I’m not. They heard about me a few times and attempted to recruit me assuming that I was one, but I used my illusion powers to evade them and make them forget. They thought I was a mutant probably cuz I look pretty similar to Angel when it comes to the wings, but I wasn’t some mess up in human genetic code purposeful or not. I’m a different species. It’s like… comparing an elephant with a human. Sure, we both have hair and eyes and we’re mammals, but you’d never try and take an elephant to university or give it a job in HR, would you?” 

“You are very beautiful, nowhere near an elephant,” he flirts. You flush, and immediately feel guilty.

“Pietro, sorry, I am  _ pretty _ taken,” you nervously remind him. 

“I am just giving you a compliment! Do not demean yourself! You and Wanda, the same thing,” he chuckles. You like Pietro, you decide. He’s fun to talk to, and his accent makes his words interesting. Not in the alluring way of Loki’s but in a friendly way that piques your interest. The mention of Wanda makes you shudder a little: you’re sure that you’d like her just the same as Pietro, but what she did to Loki… fuck, it was horrible. She sounds nice but, who can be nice if you do something like that to someone? You move along a troop of children into another carrier. He speedsters next to you. 

“You are frightened of my twin?” 

“No… not scared. Scared that she’d do what she did to mino-Loki on a normal basis. It was… horrifying. Just absolutely terrible,” you shake your head, disgusted. 

“It was not her fault. Mostly the mind stone, you know?” 

“Yeah, but I’m hoping for a really big apology nonetheless,” you point out. 

“That is justified. It was Ultron, he… he really wanted you. It was disturbing,” he notes. 

“I am aware of that now. I’d show you the bruise on my arm, but Loki already took care of me,” 

“I… talking with you makes me very ashamed that I would ever side with that monster,” he says with distaste. You smile at him, helping the last group of people in the area that you can see onboard. 

“We all make mistakes. That’s the thing about vision: sometimes, you can’t see what’s right in front of you until someone else comes along and gives you another perspective,” you think aloud. Pietro nods thoughtfully. 

“I am sure of one thing, especially. Before, I had wished death upon all of the Avengers, most definitely your  _ Tony Stark _ . But… I rescind my curse! You are very kind. I had only wished I got to you before your Asgardian lover,” he pairs the sentence with a well placed wink, and you flush again.  _ Who knew that the speedster was such a flirtatious one?  _ You swat him away playfully. 

“Avengers, time to work for a living,” Tony says, giving instructions on where to go. You look to Pietro. 

“Race?” 

“Finally,” he teases, and you take off into the air to take advantage of the head start. 

He beats you, sure, but you’re not  _ that _ far behind. Thor and a red-skinned man are trading blows with Ultron, and Loki trips up Ultron so he can’t land hits. He sees you, and grins, ducking when a robot punches forward. He then stabs him and teleports to embrace you. He smells faintly of perspiration, but you could care less. Loki ducks his head to peck your lips. 

“Minou, I don’t think Tony meant for me to come here so you could kiss me…” 

“I can assure you, that is absolutely not why I wanted you guys here. The rest of us are  _ trying to save the world _ !! Wait a second, you’re not reinstating the bedroom rodeo right now, are you?” Tony yells from where he’s approaching the center. You blush, guilty, though Loki does not seem ashamed at all. One track mind, as he rubs your back and then runs back to join the rest of the team. 

Suddenly, you feel even more ashamed that you’d even suggested dying. You love him. You do, and you can’t imagine being without him. And now… after this… you won’t be. It rebukes the golden mood you had previously embraced. 

The wave of overwhelming guilt that blasts over you is dampening of Loki’s happy hums. The idea that you had proposed to not just leave the man you love and who loves you indefinitely in return but die… it’s almost too much to bear. 

“Loki?”

“Yes, my love,” 

“I-I I want…” crap. Still can’t say it. He looks at you worriedly, waiting for you to finish. You embarrassedly flush and duck your head. Loki smirks in response. 

_ He’s so fucking beautiful. I don’t deserve him… especially after even considering sacrificing myself. _

_ It would kill him.  _

“Rock of Ages, Tinkerbell, you two should get over here and stop reinstating the bedroom rodeo on a battlefront,” Tony drily reminds you. The rest of the Avengers, including the Maximoffs, Hulk, and the red man, are already with Tony. He’s by what seems to be a glowing core sticking out of the ground. You trot over there, an annoyed Loki in tow. You give them an apologetic look. Your eyes catch on the new person, and you tug Loki’s arm. Does he know he has the Mind Stone in his head?

“What’s the drill?” Natasha asks Tony.

“This is the drill. If Ultron gets a hand on the core, we lose,” Tony explains simply. Loki looks down at you, eyebrow perked up, and follows your pointing finger. 

“That is Vision. He is what was in the Cradle, mixed with the power of-“ 

“The Mind Stone?” 

“No, your dear friend Jarvis. The man of iron brought him back, he’d been undercover or something of the sort. I think Stark had wanted to surprise you, but I do not care,” you investigate Loki’s features. There’s no alarms going off, he’s not lying. You gaze back at Vision, who stares at you. 

If Ultron didn’t come right then, you would have done more than an ecstatic wave and gargantuan smile. You mouth, ‘later?’ 

He cocks his head, but nods slowly. I want to meet Vision, and see if he remembers me and-

“Is that the best you can do?” Thor booms. You and Loki both groan under your breaths. Superhero rule #1: never ask if that’s the best they can do. There’s inevitably something more. 

And sure enough, an army of robots appears at Ultron’s raised hand. He sneers at you with his cruel metal mouth, and you find Loki’s hand to hold onto. 

“You had to ask,” Steve groans.

“This is the best I can do. This is exactly what I wanted. All of you, against all of me. How could you possibly hope to stop me?” Ultron states crudely, and you whip out the naginata on your back to ward off the incoming horde of robots. 

“Like the old man said. Together,” Iron Man agrees, and the team is rushing into battle. 

The robots are coming from every angle, every single Avenger having to destroy as many as the other. You and Loki work in tandem, he rips them apart with knives in joints and green hues of magic and you stabbing them with your naginata and the occasional bit of ivy pulling them into pieces helpfully. You fly up to help Vision. As the army keeps coming, you attempt to start that conversation with him.

“Hi-oof- I’m Fae, and I hear… that you… are part Jarvis?” 

“Affirmative,” he responds, and his eyes flicker to you before destroying another Ultron proxy. He sounds exactly like Jarvis. The same exact voice. It brings another small grin to your lips. 

“Do you -oh, back up, asshole- remember me?” you ask hopefully. He uses the Mind Stone to blast a bot coming up on your left that you didn’t see. 

“I-I… I have access to Jarvis’s memory. It is compiled into my own… so in a way, yes, I remember you. He- we, really like talking to you. I presume you would help me adjust to my newfound physicality, as you would with Jarvis if the time had presented itself?” 

“It would be my pleasure to,” you reply, a beaming smile gracing your features. You glance down at the team, who do complicated battle moves and flips and magic and… you realize you’re completely outpaced. And probably shouldn’t be talking conversationally during this epic moment. You shrug to yourself, and use the naginata like a baseball bat to smack the head off of a robot. One of the Ultron clones wrestles the weapon from your grip: bad choice, now he gets to die by strangling vine! It is returned to your hand, and you pet it like a beloved pet. 

Ultron grows tired of the conflict, and enraged, shoots towards you and Vision. It appears that he has a large vendetta against three people especially: Tony, Vision, and yourself. Vision notices, and trades blows with the villainous robot. Vision is thrown into the wall: in the moment of weakness, Ultron wisely grabs your foot. His eyes are red and dark and horrifying. You shriek, and take pleasure as the ivy that had crawled up the walls of the structure whip out and capture Ultron’s wrists and ankles and toss him backwards. 

You thank them, vowing to appreciate the legendary plant life that has valiantly been coming to your aid of their own accord during this trying time. 

As soon as Ultron is thrust off balance, he is victim to a powerful blast from Vision. The Mind Stone, in specifics. You had no clue it could even do that. 

Aaaand now you must remember to do test runs with Vision on the more fun aspects of the incredibly dangerous weapon. If Loki, God of Mischief who almost took over New York could become the sweetest kitten in the whole wide world, then who knows what the Mind Stone could do? Maybe it can project movies! Or create puppies out of nothing! 

Seeing a golden opportunity to destroy the Tin Man, Thor casts lightning towards him and Tony adds another high tech laser. You dart above the scene of feathered wings, and little roots sprout from the ground to hold the robot firmly in place. 

He makes those shut-downing noises that robots tend to do. The assault halts and you retract the roots. 

Ultron’s cruel mouth opens. “You know, with the benefit of hindsight-” Hulk does what he does best: smashes Ultron’s husk into the air. Nearby sentries run from the gargantuan muscled beast. 

He is not even close to the blissed out Hulk you had the pleasure of taking to a wildflower field in Texas a few weeks ago. Though Loki was put out on not being invited, he was fine to stay as far away from the green behemoth as possible. You’d never thought you’d see Hulk frolic with butterflies in a wildflower field, but damn. It was fantastic. 

You long for that simplicity that now seems so far away. You fly upwards to notice a few grey streaks moving outwards. Zooming in with your superior eyesight, you can see each piece of metal on the sentries striving to escape. 

“Um, guys, some of the Ultron babies are trying to run away…” 

“They'll try to leave the city,” Thor states astutely.  _ Captain Obvious.  _

“Yes, thank you, Thor for your astonishingly helpful pointers,” Loki deadpans. Thor appears mystified by this reaction. Loki catches your eye in the sky and rolls his eyes. You giggle in response. 

“We can't let 'em, not even one. Rhodey!” 

“I'm on it. Oh, no, I didn't say you could leave. War Machine, comin' at you, right…” Rhodey banters over the headset. You smile. He sounds just like a wisecracking Avenger. 

Vision speeds off to assist. 

“We gotta move out. Even I can tell the air is getting thin. You guys get to the boats, I'll sweep for stragglers, be right behind you,” Steve tells everyone, nodding. 

“What about the core?” Clint asks, smartly. You begin to raise your hand at the same time Loki does. You both stare each other down to put the hands away. Luckily, someone else volunteers. 

“I'll protect it. It's my job,” Wanda assures. You cock your head at the woman: she’s staying strong. Being a heroine. 

You definitely feel as though she isn’t the monster that your subconscious had made her out to be. Before you follow with Nat, Steve, and Clint to go round up the remaining pedestrians, you walk over to Wanda. Pietro watches from beside her. 

“Hi. I’m Fae. And-” 

“I am really quite sorry for what I did to you two. I understand if you’d never forgive me…” she immediately interrupts with. You glance over your shoulder at Loki. He glares at her, protectively wrapping an arm around your waist. 

“Has this bundle of love we call Loki already threatened to gorge out your innards with your toenails?” 

She blanches. 

“So yes, something along the lines of that. I’m willing to forgive and forget, to move on. You’ve more than proved yourself: going against one who you thought was your savior is something that can take a while to accept. Are we good?” Wanda looks shocked. You smile at her, while placing a securing hand over Loki’s on your hip. 

“I hope… I hope that we can grow to be fast friends,” her lips curl into a hesitant smile, which Pietro grins at both you and Wanda about. 

“Okay, we gotta go… see you later?” 

“See you later,” 

As you jog off with Loki, you can hear excited exclamations between Pietro and Wanda. 

Now it’s just you and Loki, running about to discover if there are any more people hiding about. Loki can sense it, so you trust him. 

He is very alert, eyes watching every corner as you follow behind him. You tug on his hair.

“Yes, sweet?” 

You wrap your arms around the man. Loki inhales deeply the scent of your hair, and wraps his arms around you. “Darling, is there something wrong?” 

“No, I just wanted a hug from you,” you smile into his chest. 

“Oh,” he gasps, and squeezes you tightly. “I don’t deserve you, wonderful angel. So kind to me, so sweet,” Loki kisses slowly his way down your face, placing a lasting one on your lips. You hum happily. “Kindred goddess, who blesses a tortured soul like I with her heavenly presence…” 

“Silvertongue!” you shriek, as Loki nips at your neck. He lets out a low dark chuckle, and proceeds to push you against a nearby wall and suck at the hollow of your neck. 

“Oh darling… the things I can do with my silver tongue…” Loki purrs. You try and look at him, but your eyes flutter shut as he bites the skin slightly. 

His hands are delicately but surely diving beneath your uniform, roving all over. You know idly that there  _ something  _ you’re supposed to be doing… and maybe this place is going to blow up… but  _ holy shit he’s so good at this _ . 

“Are you sure you aren’t a Sex God?” you flush, Loki’s hands moving to cup a breast and rolling the barely hidden firm nipple in his fingers. 

“Hmmm, no, I’m not. Though I am the patron of several positions… that I’d simply  _ relish _ in demonstrating…” he says, beginning to pull down the zipper on the back of your uniform. You’re arching your back into him, pressing your pelvis against Loki wantonly. “Mhmm, I missed this… how fast do you think I can get you to finish, lovely? The others… they won’t even notice me having my way… oh, delightful beloved, Norns, I love you so much…”

You’re already barely understanding what Loki’s murmuring, the past few days robbing you of his loving and meticulous touch. He can play you like a fiddle, knowing you so well. He has you reduced to little moans and mewls of his name. 

“ _ Loki~ _ ” 

“Oh, lover, I do simply adore when you breathe my name like that. All desperate for me, aren’t you? We’re so perfect, no? And you’ve made me positively delighted, after all this, agreeing to live with me… you deserve some semblance of a reward, wouldn’t you say?”

“ _ Yes, Loki…”  _

There's static, harsh and unwanted, over the comm. Loki gives a frustrated growl, as you lightly push him off and put your hand to the comm with shaking hands.  _ I just want to have sex with my personal sex god. Is that too much to ask for? _

“FAE! DO YOU COPY?” it’s Clint, and he sounds hysterical. You immediately switch back to all business, slightly remorseful about letting yourself be led astray by Loki’s seductiveness. 

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m here, what’s happened?” 

“Pietro took a lot of bullets from Ultron shooting him down with a  _ fucking  _ jet for godssakes, too many bullets, he’s dying, you gotta help him… we’re by the lifeboats! Please, hurry,”

“Alright, I’ll be right there, try to get him to hold on,” you beg, then look up at Loki. He heard all of it. 

“I need to conserve my energy if I’m gonna heal him… can you?” 

Loki understands instantly, and scoops you into his arms. He runs fast, his supernatural way of running that involves teleporting every few seconds. You make it to Pietro’s quickly-becoming-corpse in the street in moments. 

“ _ Shit, _ ” you cry out, seeing the sheer amount of puncture wounds. The only reason he is even  _ slightly  _ breathing right now is probably because of his mutant biology. You quickly drop to your knees and warm your hands with magic to heal him. 

“The bullets are going to stay in. I can’t get them out, there’s too many. We’ll have to leave them and put him through emergency surgery later…” you’re freaking out quietly, but placing your hands on Pietro’s chest anyway. 

“Darling, even you cannot bring back the dead! This is insanity, dearest, please,” Loki reminds you, clearly remembering the conversations you had had with him prior about not being able to revive the dead without becoming dead yourself. A life for a life. Small healings, single bullet wounds or bruises are all derived from the power of nature. But no plant could bring back the dead: only life force could do that. 

“I’m going to try. I-I can do it,” you insist, already pumping healing magic into Pietro’s lax body. Loki growls at you, bending down to your level. 

“Stop. Stop this, you will  _ die _ ,” Loki demands. You shake your head, already seeing great progress in Pietro. The bullet wounds are slowly closing, all of them. His body is healing! It’s working! Maybe the supermoon has given you enough power to do even this?

You take this moment to look at yourself…. And almost collapse after taking stock. You have been pouring every ounce of magic into this mutant you’ve just met, and it’s straining your life. You need your magic to live. And you are giving it to Pietro, who is quickly now regaining energy.  _ I only need… a few more minutes _ . 

“DARLING!” Loki’s pained howling brings you back into reality. He’s holding your face. “Stop, please. Perhaps he can recover at this point, he’s almost healed… just stop, I’m begging you. You are going to kill yourself,” he cries out, pulling at your stiff hands. Loki’s desperate. You feel lightheaded, and it’s hard to make out what Loki’s saying after that. His lips are moving, but it sounds like you are underwater. Loki’s eyes are watering, angry tears threatening to drown his features. You can see the moment where he says the equivalent of ‘fuck it’, and rubs his hands together like defibullators. Your hands are still planted on Pietro’s barely heaving chest, and they feel more heavy and immobile than ever. 

His sweet elegant hands glow with magic, and you make an audible gasp as they caress your cheeks lovingly. 

“That’s it. Take it. Take it all, sweet. I do not need it, drink,” he instructs, kindly but insistently, and you do. You accept the waves and waves of stored magic that pours from Loki into your veins, and it rejuvenates you. You’re feeling better immediately, and happily begin to finish Pietro’s healing.  _ A life for a life. Two half lives for one. Life grows back when nurtured. We’ll be fine.  _

“You sound like… like we’re in a erotic vampire novel,” you pant at Loki with a small grin, and he’s so visably relieved that he almost crumbles to the ground right then and there. You quickly finish Pietro using Loki’s powerful magic, and he now slumbers peacefully on the rocky ground. Clint pats you on the back thankfully, yelling at you quietly in ‘dad tone’ about risking your life to save others, and then hoists up the sleeping Maximoff to haul him to the nearby lifeboat. 

Loki mirrors the action and pulls you up into his arms marriage-style. 

“You never do that again, you hear me, darling? I cannot afford to lose you. You must stay with me, and stay alive. I could not bear it otherwise,” he demands. You smile sleepily at him and snuggle into his chest. 

“Mhmm, alright.  _ Loki _ ,” you hymn into his chest, exhausted from the whole ordeal. Loki’s chest rumbles with an approving purr at your way of saying his name. The man is certainly egotistical, and seems in a strange way to want to use positive reinforcement to make you want to say his name seductively and musically all the time. He likes how you say it, more like Low-Keeey then the shortened Loki. 

“ _ Loki _ , I can’t go home yet. I gotta… I gotta find Ultron. I gotta make sure that he’s gone,” you struggle to regain consciousness. Loki stops in his tracks, but does not release you from his grip. You make a noise of discontent. He sighs, and drops you to the ground. 

There is a cool kiss, tinged with magic, pressed to your forehead.

“That is enough energy to last you for an hour. After the hour or if you find that metal devil, you come right back here. And I will wait. Is that satisfactory?” Loki explains. You nod thankfully, taking note of his weakening form. Loki has given you a large chunk of his ability today, stores and stores of it. You both deserve rest after this whole issue.

“I’ll be right back. Don’t leave without me!” you begin to lift into the air whilst ensuring that you are careful of the crumbling buildings around you. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it, love,” Loki chuckles. He watches you rise, all worried glances and squinting eyes. 

“Don’t worry!” you remind him with a smile. 

“I cannot promise that without lying, sweet,” he yells into the air as you fly away to locate Ultron. 

Surprisingly, it doesn’t take that long. He’s lying in an alley, defeated and solitary. You, despite his horrific ideas for the future and the hate you’d felt towards him previously, can’t help but feel empathy. 

You set yourself down next to him cross legged. 

“Hello, Ultron,” you remark. He looks at you carefully, robotic eyes searching. If you had the time, you’d have gotten your guitar and tried to play “Don’t Dream It’s Over” for him. Maybe you’ll save it for Tony. Ultron coughs. 

“You and Wanda… you have to go. If you stay, you will die,” he insists. 

_ There is freedom within, there is freedom without _

_ Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup _

“Aww, you do care. I knew there was some good in you!” you smile at the robot, and Ultron groans. 

“You naive girl. You must  _ leave _ .” 

“You know, I almost died like a hundred times today. Almost died trying to astral project myself across the planet. Almost died by being stabbed, can’t even remember who that was at this point. Almost died when you said that you’d kill the person I love more than anything. Almost sacrificed myself for the people here. Almost died for Pietro to live. It’s been a hectic week, wouldn’t you say?” 

_ There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost _

_ But you'll never see the end of the road _

“It has been the first week of my life, and the last,” Ultron gives up telling you to evacuate and just contributes to your conversational attitude. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I do like you, despite everything. When you’re not trying to kill everyone and everything, I mean,” you pat his shoulder. He gives you a dry chuckle. 

“Humanity is doomed anyway.” It is dark, but true. If we don’t do ourselves out, some other extinction level event will do it for us. It is a matter of running a race with a limited amount of energy, picking yourself up when you fall, and going for as long as you can despite knowing that you can’t win. 

_ Hey now, hey now _

_ Don't dream it's over _

_ Hey now, hey now _

“Yeah, I know. But you gotta make the most of it while you can. Life isn’t worth living if there’s no risk involved. If everything is assured, why do anything?” 

“Y-You make a valuable point. Still… it is my programming…” 

“Ah, you’re better than that, Ultron. You know I have to put you down, right?” 

“Euthanize me like an undesirable dog. Do your worst, and quickly. Stark is minutes away from blowing this place into bits, he thinks everyone is off,” Ultron sneers. You pat his cheek, and kiss his forehead chastely. Ultron makes a robotic surprised noise. 

_ When the world comes in _

_ They come, they come _

_ To build a wall between us _

_ We know they won't win _

“I’m sorry,“ you tell him, as you politely ask the nearby ivy to wind into his chest. They invade every pore and opening in Ultron’s chest till they reach the core of his body. The vines settle around it. “Sweet dreams,” you smile at him in a way you hope to be placating.

_ Now I'm towing my car, there's a hole in the roof _

_ My possessions are causing me suspicion but there's no proof _

“Goodbye,” he says softly, and you pull the core out. His body splutters, and shuts down completely. You quickly fly back to Loki. Explosions have ceased, and the city is all but silent. There is the faint whirring of the Helicarrier going away. Ships leave. You can guess that only those intending on blowing the rock itself are still here. And your Loki, of course. Aaand now “Don’t Dream It’s Over” is stuck in your head forever. Crap, not what you needed in this about to explode situation. 

_ In the paper today tales of war and of waste _

_ But you turn right over to the T.V. page _

“We gotta go! They’re gonna blow the city! Vision got Wanda, but-” Loki’s already got you in his arms, holding you protectively. The last lifeboat has already left. You both know it. 

“Erm, by the Norns. This is fine, this is fine,” Loki’s starting to hyperventilate as he runs towards the edge of the floating city. You look down expectantly, seeing the forests dance teasingly so many miles below you. 

“You can’t teleport down there, let me fly you down,” you suggest. 

“I HAVE TO PROTECT YOU!” Loki roars. You blink and raise your eyebrows. 

_ Now I'm walking again to the beat of a drum _

_ And I'm counting the steps to the door of your heart _

“Loki, love, calm down. I can get us down, and then you can go all Tarzan on me. I’ll pass out anyway,” you discuss logically. 

“But… I’m… I’m supposed to…” Loki’s eye is twitching, and if he was a robot you’d say he’d be malfunctioning. “You shouldn’t have to take care of me,” he settles with. 

“Oh minou, I’ve already done so much for you and you’ve already done so much for me; I’m not stopping now. Now get your ass into Lokitty so we won’t blow up,” 

_ Only shadows ahead barely clearing the roof _

_ Get to know the feeling of liberation and release _

Loki grumbles something under his breath and then shifts into Lokitty. You wrap him in your arms and just fly out of there. You could’ve made a portal but then you’d be freefalling after and god knows that Loki hates that. 

You flap your wings, pounding them into the air as fast as you had done that time when you’d heard Loki had been shot. Lokitty shrieks in your arms, his little sharp claws digging into your flesh of the arms smartly.  _ That’s gonna leave a mark later.  _

You dive bomb the ground, pulling up at the last minute to land sort-of okay landing on the ground. You let Lokitty go, and his quivering tiny cat body shifts into Asgardian. Just in time for you to fall. 

“Oh, sweet. It is time to go home,” Loki lifts you into his embrace and adjusts you lovingly, “you may sleep now. I will get you back home, and communicate with the rest of the Avengers. You don’t have to worry about a thing, your mate is here,” he purrs. You don’t know if you heard that last part right, but who cares? It’s true. You’ve never felt safer with anyone beyond Loki Laufeyson. 

“You sure, mon minou?”

“This is the end of this little adventure, sweetling. I will rouse you in the next chapter,” he says, so kind and loving and adorable that it makes you want to immediately pass out. He’s done this more recently, knowing each push he needs to make to lull you to sleep. You want to make a quip about it… but all you manage is a small tender smile. Loki looks down at you with a ‘oh’. Your eyes flutter shut as he places a lasting affectionate kiss on your lips, and then you’re gone. He places a familiar muting charm on your ears, so that Sokovia can be blown to pieces and you can still rest. 

_ Hey now, hey now _

_ Don't dream it's over _

_ Hey now, hey now _

_ When the world comes in _

_ They come, they come _

_ To build a wall between us _

_ We know they won't win _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns, and the question I asked! Wholesome events with Avengers & Co.!


	33. 3-17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ultron has been vanquished, but there is still so much in store.

“My sensors indicate that you are conscious. Can you hear me? Would you like me to fetch Mr. Laufeyson?”

“Mhmm, Jarvis?”

“No, I am Vision. Are you experiencing memory damage?” 

You sit up in your bed. It’s your bed! From the tower… Loki made it back. You glance to Vision, who floats next to your bedside. There’s a heart rate monitor connected to your finger, and you delicately remove it and sit up. On the bed is your little Loki-Like stuffed black kitty, and you squeeze it comfortingly and bring it to your nostrils. It smells like Loki. You glance around, taking note of your soothing tree Sarah and Frank nestled within it. When you look at him, he raises his head inquisitively. He seems to want to leave the tree and slither onto you, but lies still in the sunbeams anyway.

Vision watches carefully to see if he needs to intervene. You hold a hand to your pounding head.  _ It’s like I’ve been asleep for days… _

“You have been asleep for approximately 8 days, 5 hours, and 16 minutes,” Vision tells you. You gasp. 

“Wh-what?” 

“The magic you had expended to rescue Pietro Maximoff from death was astounding. According to my research and the aid of Loki, we have deduced that your body slipped into a comatose state to work to increase the lack of lifeforce after the ordeal stopped producing adrenaline. Does that sound correct?” 

“Yeah, about right. What happened after I got Loki to the ground? I know he was carrying me, and then…” 

“We are at the new Avengers Facility in upstate New York. Loki had taken all of your furniture from your original quarters and then distributed it to this room,” Vision explains. You nod thankfully, biting your lip as you take in the room. It’s the exact same thing as your old room: except now when you look out the window, the view is bright skies and forests. You ogle at the view, standing from the bed with the stuffy in tow to investigate further. Very very different from the old one, but just as nice. 

“Have you told Loki that I’m awake, Vision?” you don’t have to look at him when you say it, you know he can hear it. 

“I had informed him of your newfound condition when it began,” 

You turn to the red-hued man, and give him a wide smile. “Thank you. How do you enjoy life, Vision?” He floats down, so that he can stand next to you contemplatively. 

“I knew nothing before this. A physical form allows for new knowledge… files and information cannot hold the same majesty as experiencing things for oneself. The names and scientific formulas mean so much, yet nothing, in the wake of feeling,” 

“How very acute of you. I think the same way. Is… Ultron really gone?” 

“Yes. Though you had eliminated the last part of his master form, I had tracked down the final sentry that held his consciousness,”

“He say anything of interest?”

“He called you naïve, and said that I was like you in that sense. Seeing, yet somehow blind,”

“What did you tell him?”

“I said that… I had told him that you are not naïve, but optimistic. And that that is the solution he was missing,” Vision explains. 

“Hmm. Yeah. Guess I am. That’s a good way to describe it. Is Loki…?” 

“He is currently running down the hall. He will enter in this room in 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1-” 

The door is blasted open. There he is, Loki, wearing a green suit vest and black dress pants. You turn to him and give a little wave. He is frozen with disbelief for a moment, then is running to sweep you off your feet and bury his head in your neck. He moves so fast that it’s almost a huge panther-like leap. Vision phases through the ceiling, having the good sense to leave the two of you alone. 

Loki’s crying into your neck now, in that way of his where no tears are flowing but he’s sobbing nonetheless. You hold his head, the tall man crumpled like paper and latched so tight that you don’t think you could move if you tried. 

“Oh, my pretty kitty, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know that I’d be so tired,” 

“Y-you should’ve, I-I missed you, didn’t know when you were gonna wake up… what am I supposed to do without you? Mhmm, d-darling, I-I,” Loki’s words are stammered and unsure but overall grateful, and you kiss his head as he staggers to move you to the bed. Loki makes a loud wild keen, firmly keeping his face in that nook between your shoulder and neck. His arms are a vise, around your waist so securely you wonder if he thinks you’ll disappear if he lets go. 

“Oh, Loki, minou, it’s alright, I’m here now,” you sigh happily, Loki kissing your neck lovingly and slowly. 

“You’re never allowed to do that again. Do you understand? Never,” Loki says it so steely and in a dangerous way you’ve heard in a fight. It’s quiet and sounds scarier than his yelling. 

“Trust me, I don’t want to have to do it again either,” you quietly profess. Loki places his forehead on yours and breathes long breaths. You mimic his breathing pattern and smile, eyes closed. 

“You are so fragile, so delicate… I cannot bear for a stray storm to pluck you from my grasp, my precious flower,” Loki whispers to you. His eyes are wet emeralds, fearful of what could have been. You push back the covers on the bed, and allow Loki to slip beneath the covers and pull in closer to you. He’s still wrapped around you, kisses are placed lazily over each inch of skin that is exposed. 

“You know… I believe I was promised a so-called ‘sex marathon’... if you are feeling up to it…?” Loki reminds you. You laugh, and rub Loki’s scalp in retribution. Loki releases a huge purr that you can feel rumbling in the whole bed. 

“Hmm, had that one saved up, did we?” 

“Just for you. I only make such foolish noises for you, my love,” Loki sighs, pressing his lips to yours and keeping them there as long as possible. Until you have to breathe, of course. 

“On the sex…” 

Loki perks up immediately. Like the flip of a switch, he’s gone from the sweet lovey-dovey Lokitty to Loki, the god of erotica. The lick of the lips. The darkening of the eyes. The beginnings of a sexual smirk. The cool digits sneaking up the shirt you have on. 

“Maybe we could wait… until we move into the new house? Hmm? Then there will be no more pesky Avengers who could walk in on us at any moment…” you tease him, booping his nose. 

“About that...” Loki sits up, reluctantly yes, already preparing in a way that makes it seem like bad news. You pout. 

“You mean... No house? We’re not… not moving in? You changed your mind? I-I can’t believe it, you were so excited! Damn it, I was fucking excited,” you complain sadly. Loki caresses your cheek lovingly. 

“No, darling, I still fully intend on bringing you there. It is simply splendid to know that you retain some idea of enthusiasm over the particular idea. We cannot go to the house… because we are going to Asgard,” 

“Don’t fuck around, Trickster,” you accuse lightly, knowing full well of it’s truth. Loki’s face grows a large smile as you cup your hands over your mouth and almost start to cry. 

“Really?” you ask, near silent. Loki nods. You choke out a laugh and Loki watches you with an amused expression. You wrap your arms around Loki, laughing more in elation. His arms are sneaking around your neck and waist, wrapping you in closer and closer until you’re flush against him. 

“Do you see how much I love you? Do you see how you, my sweet lorelei, push me to so many reckless lengths for your happiness?”

“You’re the best, minou. The best thing ever,” you gush, giving him a passionate kiss. 

“Only for you, my sweet,” he purrs. 

“How did you do it? You had said that you’re exiled,” you ask. Loki hums, and brushes stray hair from your forehead. 

“Would you like me to show you? Have you retained enough strength?” he frets. You roll your eyes. 

“I wouldn’t be lying in bed with you if I hadn't recovered, minou. Honestly, I expected to be already fucked into the mattress already,” you note wickedly. Loki’s eyes widen, and then he playfully growls. You are spun around suddenly and then you’re beneath Loki’s formidable form. He immediately goes to your neck, sucking hungrily.  _ Yeah, that’s gonna leave a mark.  _

Loki stops for a moment, and whispers darkly in your ear, “That can be arranged,  _ sweetling _ .” 

“Uh… show me first, then, hell yes,” you provide a compromise, arousal already pooling from this crazy man. He gives you a curved scythe of a smile, and sits back on his haunches. He presents a hand, practically simmering with seiðr as he presents it to you. You mirror the action, and at the same time, your hands are placed on the others forehead. 

The second time in the past few weeks that you’ve dived into his mind: now it is back to soothing oceans of his mind. Some people have mind palaces, dark things hidden in dark places and riches presented to all. Some are like stores, memories all placed on racks for easy looking through. Loki said you were like a garden, a great many plants and trees everywhere. That the air is clearer there. 

Loki is an ocean. Calm on the surface, but knowing full well of the possible swells that can spark up at any moment. It’s sparkling and shining and gorgeous on the surface… but there are so many unspeakable and terrifying things in it’s depths. Great beauty combating with great danger. 

< _ Loki is sitting outside the Avenger’s Compound, a bench overlooking a forest. There are occasional bird calls, but Loki doesn’t take note. He’s wrapped up in his own fears. Steve, Thor, and Tony walk by. Thor tries to catch his eyes.  _

_ ‘Brother! Come, walk with us,’ _

_ Loki looks up at them with red-rimmed eyes.  _

_ ‘Excuse me,  _ brother _ , I am trying to lament my choices,’ Loki says drily. He’s feeling bad for himself. Better word: disappointed. How could he do this to you? How could he be so foolish? He should have let that pestering mutant die, and pull you away. Then you wouldn’t be sleeping.  _

_ ‘Loki?’ _

_ ‘I thought I told you to leave me alone,’ _

_ ‘Hey, Hornhead, this might be the first and only time I’m going to talk to you like I don’t hate you. Your adoptive brother here is leaving. He’s going back to Assgard or whatever-’ _

_ ‘ASGARD!’  _

_ ‘Yeah, that’s what I said. Either way, I… you’ve really changed. Like, you used to be depressed all the time, and if you weren’t depressed then you were all hostile. But when you’re with Fae… jeez. It’s a whole different person. You’re only pissy now when, well, when she’s upset or if she’s hurt. So, I would be  _ okay _ , if you want to, _ potentially _ , go with Thor to Asgard? It should be pretty calm around here for a while, even with Bruce missing. Actually, I should be insisting for you to go, so I don’t need to play the dampering spirit on your sex parades,’  _

_ Loki is shocked. He’s frozen in place, completely frozen.  _

_ ‘Wh-what?’ _

_ ‘AHAHA! For once, my silver tongued brother is silenced!’ _

_ Mother. I could see Mother again. And the library!  _

_ Your history. He can get it, the thing you want so desperately. What a gift that would be, what a smile it would wring!  _

_ Though… _

_ Loki doesn’t want you to be in his debt, nor even your gratitude… he wants your love. All of it that you can give, he wants. He wants every single drop, like a starving man.  _

_ He wants everything that you’ve given him so far… and more. He. Wants. Everything.  _

_ ‘On one condition,’ Loki begins.  _

_ ‘Um, pretty sure we are the ones who will add conditions but go on,’ Tony rolls his eyes dramatically.  _

_ ‘She needs to come with me,’ _

_ ‘Oh really? Give me one reason my not-officially adopted daughter should go with you to the land of Camelot and not stay here with me on Earth, where she lives, and not some alien planet,’ Tony fights. Loki stands up threateningly.  _

_ ‘There are so many reasons. She wants to go. There is the history of her people, the Dark Fae, that is entombed in the books of Asgard’s library. The strange flora of Asgard, and the interest that she would have in those. And that is not even to mention that  _ if you do not let me bring her I will kidnap my love and bring her with me against your consent  **anyway** _ ,’ Loki spits out, daring Tony to argue with him. Stark’s lip curls up in a teasing smirk. A low rumbling growl is sounding in his chest, and Loki isn’t aware if he is doing it on purpose or if it is just part of him now.  _

_ ‘Tony is just fooling around. We were going to send her as your babysitter anyway,’ Steve explains.  _

_ ‘I. Do. Not. Need. A.  _ **_Babysitter_ ** _ ,’ Loki sneers.  _

_ ‘Loki, they are giving you what you wish. Do not spark a dispute on an issue that you needn't,’ Thor whispers, but in the Thor oafish way that means everyone heard it anyway.  _

_ ‘Fine then. When my sleeping princess awakens, we will discuss if and when she’d like to depart,’ Loki says steely. The three men nod in acceptance.  _

_ ‘Well, Brother, I will take my leave. The Mind Stone is the fourth of the Infinity Stones to show up in the last few years. That's not a coincidence. Someone has been playing an intricate game and has made pawns of us. But once all these pieces are in position…’ Thor hums. Loki refuses to show his fear.  _

_ He will not tell Thor or any of the Avengers about Thanos and his vision. That is something that he simply cannot share. So instead, Loki nods, and there's an awkward moment between the two of them.  _

_ Instead of stomping away and biting out, Loki settles on taking a page out of his beloved’s book: he opens his arms hesitantly. Thor makes a surprised, delighted sound and barrels into him. His brother is an aggressive hugger, none of the sweet softness of you, but Loki can sense some of the familiar bond he had with his foster brother in childhood return. Thor happily releases him and rubs his head (which Loki fumes at) and then is off on the Bifrost.  _

_ Loki looks at the rainbow colours as they fade away with his brother, and knows that he will soon follow with a Fae at his side.  _

_ ‘Stark,’ Loki asks, before he can let Tony’s charitable mood dissipate.  _

_ ‘Yup,’  _

_ ‘If I were… to suggest that my darling and I have agreed that we want… that we want to separate from the Avengers, would you waive that? Do not worry, for she has insisted that we remain on this team… though ‘on call’ rather than live-in. I have come upon a house in a scenic location in Norway, and we would like to… settle there,’ Loki explains carefully. You were supposed to be the one to ask these questions, but seeing your current situation… Loki has made the jump to do it himself. Tony seems frustrated, and upset. ‘You must understand. I do not do this to escape from your grasp… nay, I would willingly let myself be observed like a sort of caged zoo animal if it means that I get this. This one thing… this life that I can envision, it is too precious to go to waste,’ Loki pauses.  _

_ Tony (and Steve now) still seem very hesitant. Nearing on the side of declining. He must put the final advantage he has against them: reminding them of an important detail.  _

_ ‘I have lived for thousands of years. And if given the opportunity, I will live for thousands more. I-I I cannot let this get away from me. Mortal life is so fickle, like the movement of sand in an hourglass… if I were to miss it… It would kill me. I have not had a momentous amount of good in my life. Please, I have sworn not to beg of another, so convincing you the way I know so well is all I have. She will keep me the way I am. You have seen firsthand how… how docile and frustratingly placid I become with her. I can promise no problems. Even more, I can promise that I will trade my life for hers if I must,’ Loki pauses for a moment, ‘None of that was lies, I assure you.’  _

_ Steve places a hand on Loki’s shoulder. Loki flinches, ready for the blow to come.  _

_ ‘I know. And honestly, I’d encourage this. Tony?’  _

_ ‘You have to invite me to the wedding, and I want you to name the child after me. Then, deal,’ Tony assures comically, a shrewd expression accompanying the relieving words. Loki lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and his lips form a smile. A real smile.  _

_ ‘Now, you better go plan your Asgardian honeymoon. Sleeping Beauty’s going to be real surprised when she wakes up, huh?’ Tony snickers.  _

_ ‘She will be so… so… elated. Thank you,’ Loki says sincerely.  _

_ Plans swirl in his head, ideas of what he’ll show you first.  _

_ Frigga’s bountiful garden, full of exotic and flowering plants from all of the Realms? _

_ The epic library, where Loki had practically grown up? _

_ The wondrous wild nature, full of natural magic that has existed for centuries? The magic that could perhaps be that of her ancestors?  _

_ Everything. I’ll show my everything, everything and more. Steve approaches him, running from his conversation with Tony.  _

_ ‘Hey, Loki, we’re working on the new Avengers. You know, Rhodey, Sam, Pietro, Wanda and…’  _

_ ‘Vision. Yes. Do you want my assistance on the magics side of things?’  _

_ ‘That would be much appreciated, though I understand if you want to stay by Fae’s side,’ the Captain says empathetically, and Loki will remember that. He will recall this act of sympathy in a time when he holds the power.  _

_ ‘Yes. Though, I imagine that if I were to remain stagnant by her bedside like I wish, she will berate me for not assisting you in your efforts when she inevitably awakens,’  _

_ ‘Yeah, she’s like that,’ Steve snorts in agreement. Loki hums. ‘Also,’ Steve continues, leading Loki down a path back into the compound, ‘Pietro really wants to thank you. And apologize? Honestly, I’m not sure. He seems to be in that strange space where he wants to stay away because he feels bad but at the same time wants to thank you and cry into your shoulders. Well, more your girlfriend and less you, but still.’  _

_ ‘Mhmm. Though my love is a bleeding heart, she would only do such a dangerous feat for one she cares about. At least I presume so. He will need to talk to her. She has a way of soothing fears and insecurities, doesn’t she?’ _

_ ‘Yeah,’  _

_ That’s certainly why Loki loves her. The first reason, at least. When he was still a little kitten, hostile and feral, it was what made him at ease. You cared. You wouldn’t push, wouldn’t pester: just offer comfort when and if he’d be ready for it.  _

_ ‘I need to talk to your Vision. To see… to see what he remembers,’  _

_ ‘Alright, solider,’ _

_ ‘I’m older than you by at least 10 lifetimes,’  _

_ ‘Yeah, I know. You just seem… younger, when you’re all happy,’  _

_ ‘She says the same thing,’ > _

Then, you’re out of the memory. It was long… but the overwhelming feeling of love that lingers is all-encompassing. Loki gives you a shy smile. You freaking jump him again, rolling on the bed so that you’re on top once more... straddling in a foreshadowing way. You kiss him deeply and hard, and the delighted hum that Loki makes is more than reward enough. 

When you pull back from a very satisfying kiss and an already clearly unsatisfied Loki (judging by the tent in his pants), and hold his face so he has to meet your eyes. 

“You can have it. You can have all of my love. There is no one, now or ever, that I’d rather give it to. Alright?” 

Loki looks as if you handed him the world, and he can ascend to heaven now. 

“I think I may start to cry, I- uh, excuse me,” Loki chokes. He tries to get up, but you press him back down. 

“Nope. You,” each word is punctuated with another firm press into Loki’s muscular chest, “Are going to stay here, you are going to strip, and I’m going to make love to you. And then, I’m going to tell everyone that I’m alive, and you are going to stay with me, like a good little kitty, and then we’re going to pack, and we’re going to Asgard, and then we’re going to live together,” 

Loki is blinking and his heart is racing… you’re pretty sure he’s hyperventilating. His eyes are almost completely black already, his hands shaking as he goes to grip your waist. 

“Y-yes?” Loki is speaking as if he will wake up at any moment, as if it is a dream. 

“Yes to what, baby,” you purr. 

“Fuck me, Odin’s beard, please. Norns, I love you,” Loki gives into it, and then you’re off with a smirk and vigor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions, comments, concerns!


	34. 3-18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you have a bit of downtime before returning to escapading.

**Quite literally the next day**

You’re honestly so sore that Loki had to help you to the shower this morning. Sex marathon it was, and it most certianly delivered. Loki is stuck in a dreamy state, kissing a random part of you every few minutes. You shoo him away from the shower as you bathe, knowing full well that if he joins you… bathing would never occur. 

You two have decided on a plan:

  1. See Pietro. 
  2. Say Goodbye. 
  3. Magically pack up everything. 
  4. Go to Asgard.
  5. Get a new plan.



You hum away in the shower, washing hair and the mess that has become between your legs. ‘Don’t Dream It’s Over’ is still stuck in your head, goddamn it. You find it coming out in a song, you singing to the music with the imaginary guitar, drums, keyboard and backup vocals in your mind. 

_ “🎶There is freedom within... there is freedom without... Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup. There's a battle ahead, many battles are lost. But you'll never see the end of the road,while you're traveling with me… _

_ Hey now, hey now, Don't dream it's over. Hey now, hey now… When the world comes in... _

_ They come, they come, To build a wall between us _

_ We know they won't win,🎶”  _

You’re so enveloped in the song that’s wormed in your mind, in singing along, it’s only when Loki bursts down the door do you realize that he’s been yelling. The music abruptly stops. 

“WHAT IS THAT- oh,” he gasps. You have a question on your tongue when you pull back the shower curtain, but it dissipates when you take in the room. There are levitating instruments. Namely, a guitar, drums, keyboard, and a microphone. They are frozen in place. 

“Hmm. I think I may have accidentally produced instruments using illusion powers to back me in singing the song that’s been stuck in my head,” you note blandly. Loki nods, awestruck by the whole thing. He looks at them from all angles inquisitively. 

“In all my years of life… I’ve never seen any use of magic like this. How did you do it? Any triggering words?” Loki muses, eyes raking up your naked form as you grab a fluffy towel and wrap it around yourself. 

“Nope. I just started singing and blamo. I thought it was in my head honestly,” you explain. Loki looks contemplative. The instruments begin to fade, not needed any longer. You shrug at your boyfriend. 

“Well, perhaps the next occasion when you have a song stuck in your head, we can experiment more, hmm?” 

“Sounds good, Loki-Love,” you chirp happily. Loki flushes slightly at the nickname, and kisses you soundly. His hands find your hips, and he rocks you slightly. 

“Hey, we have a job to do,” you remind him, while unashamedly nuzzling into the cool Loki body. How, even after sex, does he still smell so good? Like his scent is perfectly suited to what you want, what you find most attractive.

“I know,” Loki sighs, rubbing a horn, “I just…” 

“We don’t have to go to Asgard, if you don’t want to,” you remind him, looking up at him. His eyes are deep green-tinted pools, and they just seem… confused. 

“If I may, my sweet, I do wish to go to Asgard. I still worry, as usual, of the potential dangers that lurk in the unknowns,” he confesses, rubbing his face on one of your horns lovingly and purring. 

_ Oh, sweet minou…  _

“I think that if you live your life in fear, people are going to either brush you aside or take advantage. Let's do it, if for no other reason then saying hello to your mom. From what I remember, you really want to see her again,” you broker. Loki makes a little laughing noise, halfway between a chuckle and a snort. 

“From what  _ I _ recall, when I had admitted my innate fondness for Mother, you had dubbed me ‘Mama's Boy’ and ridiculed me about it ceaselessly,” 

“Yeah, but, it’s because I know I can get away with it, and you’ll endure if not grow fonder with it,” 

“Fair enough. Are we putting on clothes today or may I simply dress you with sedir?” he asks you. You gesture for him to do his thing, and you’re dressed in a familiar flowy green sundress.You spin in it, and beam your approval. He, in an act of un-Loki-like sympathy for underclothes, has even gifted you underwear and a bra! You can assume that this is his way of honoring the idea of getting at least some things done today instead of making love to you for hours on end. Otherwise, Loki’d make some statement about you not needing them if he was going to tear them off your form anyway. 

“I liked the last dress you were in,” Loki says charmingly. You nod, happy with the choice he’s made. Loki knows a good bit about fashion, being a very dapper man himself. You move into the main room, prepping a bowl of cereal to regain some of your strength from the past afternoon and night. 

“Thank you, I like this one too,” you’re about to say ‘Jarvis’, and then decide to simply ask Loki who you’re supposed to call to now, “Is there a new AI?” 

“Why yes. FRIDAY?” 

_ What kind of name is Friday? I guess its fine, people do name their kids after days of the week, after all.  _

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson. Do you wish me to alert the others that Fae is ready for interactions with the others?” 

_ But ooh, so Irish. It’s nice!  _

“Ah, yes, but we are interested in the particular relations of that of Pietro Maximoff,” 

“I will alert him of your interest,” Friday obeys, and you glance up at the ceilings. 

“Hello, Friday?” 

“Yes, Fae,”

“I just wanted to, formally, introduce myself. Should I know preferences about the pronouns you use or something similar?” 

“I use she and her pronouns, Ms. Fae. I should also mention that Mr. Stark has informed me of your companionship of my predecessor, Jarvis, and that if you wish to confide in me in a similar fashion that I should not only be agreeable to the notion but encouraging. Is this program correct?” 

“Erm… what me and Jarvis had is something I don’t think we can recreate. It’s not a science… but I mean, I’d love to foster something brand new and amazing with you, Friday. Can I call you Fri? It’s marginally better than a day of the week,”

“Absolutely,” she responds. Loki chuckles at your trademark friendliness. “Pietro has been dashing to your current location. He will be here in a matter of seconds,” 

And just like that, Pietro bursts into the room. You wave and smile, and he automatically begins to cry. In a blur of silver, he’s run across the room and is hugging you tightly. His tears are sleeping into your bare shoulders, and you pat his back slightly. 

You look to Loki for help escaping Pietro's weepy yet seemingly impenetrable embrace, and he simply shakes his head and smiles wickedly. He points to you, as if to say ‘that’s what it’s like to be with you!’ 

You roll your eyes, and lightly smack Pietro. 

“Oh! Have I been hugging too harshly? I’m so sorry, it’s just, oh, I’m so grateful! You saved me from the clutches of death! You truly are an angel, sent to save me from heaven,” He gushes, setting you down on the floor. You flush, unaccustomed to high praise from someone other than Loki. 

“Hey, it’s really not an issue…” you begin embarrassedly. Pietros hands land on your shoulders, and he looks deeply into your eyes. 

“No, truly. You have changed my fate, allowed me to return to my twin sister. I owe you my life,” 

“You  _ really  _ don’t have to do that,” 

“I swear to you, whatever you need, assistance, money, rest,”

“Honestly,” 

“Anything, angel,” Pietro swears. You are extremely uncomfortable… and Loki seems amused. You breathe out an unsteady breath. 

“Okay, how about this… you have to help Fury and the X-Men. When people are feuding and it stays unaddressed for so long… it’s always going to erupt in a horrible clash. I’ll connect you to Nick, and then we make some magic happen?” 

“Ah, deal,” you shake on it with the mutant, and finally smile at him. Pietro has a goofy grin on, his shaggy hair falling over his face, and glances at Loki. “She is very taken, yes?” 

Loki’s expression goes murderous. 

“Yes, yes, just a joke. Sheesh. Is she always this… um, what is the word?” 

“Charitable? Generous? Selfless? Humane?” Loki supplies. Pietro waves his hand around. 

“Yes, all of those,”

“Absolutely,” Loki smirks, and quiets your protests with a kiss between the horns. You shift your feet. 

“So, we can do those connections when we get back from my trip?” You pipe up. 

“You’re going away?!?” Pietro gawks. You give Loki a look. He shrugs. 

“Yes, I’m actually very excited. We’re going to see Loki’s family, and also Asgard, but also do some research into Fae,” 

“You’re Fae,” Pietro says confusedly. 

“Okay, I see how my chosen alias is confusing here. I’m a Dark Fae, remember? The last of my kind, according to minou over here. We are going to do some deep dives into history to see what’s up with that,” 

“Aha, makes sense. How long will you be?”

_ That’s… actually a good question. One I haven’t thought about.  _

You glance at Loki, a question in your eyes. He looks into the distance. 

“As long as my darling wants to stay. I am sure that Mother would have me stay as long as I wished, but Father may want me to stay as long as a year,” Loki thinks aloud. 

Your heart stops. 

Loki notices, and grabs your hands and pulls them to him. 

“We mustn’t stay that long, my sweet. As long as you want. Whatever you want,” he kisses your knuckles to cement his words. You nod slowly. “I have a history of finding ways around Odin’s wants. I’ve done it many times: I’ll do anything so you are happy with the arrangement.” 

“Okay, I just… this is my home. I don’t want to get stuck,” you admit nervously. Pietro says something about you and Loki having a moment and he’ll wait outside the door. 

“Aww, sweetling. Of course, I understand. I will do everything to keep you safe and happy, and if that means going to Asgard and then turning right back around afterwards because a plant was rude, I would not care. Even more, I would relish in the message that sends to the AllFather!” 

You giggle a little at the silly idea, and peck Loki’s cheek. He rewards you with a humming noise, followed by a purr. 

“Mon minou, let’s go give Pietro Nick’s phone number and then say goodbye to everyone, alrighty?” 

Loki purrs again, presenting his head like Lokitty for more scratches expectantly. 

“Okay, fine, a few more scratches because you’re so good to me. Then we gotta go,” you laugh, giving him the good pets. Loki purrs repeatedly, pushing his head into your hand. 

“What happened to not wanting to seem all weak and cutesy?” 

“I remembered just how great it felt, how fantastic it is to be like this… with you,” he purrs. You melt at his word, giving him another good scratch with a smile. 

“Well, Loki, I just want you to be the person you want to be. I don’t care about appearances or pretenses. I care about  _ you _ ,” 

“If I wasn’t already undoubtedly in love with you formerly, I am now,” he states. You smile and give him a squeeze before scrawling Nick’s phone number on a notepad that you find in a drawer. Skipping out of the room, you hand the paper to Pietro cheerfully and ask him where the other Avengers are. 

“If I can recall, the newer ones are due in the training room in… oh, right now. I’m late! I can bring you there, if you like. Usually the Captain and Widow supervise, so they’ll be there too. Do you wish to come with me?” the male Maximoff seems very excited at the idea of you tagging along with him. It makes you hesitant, and you glance at Loki, less for permission than for assurance. He inclines his head.

Pietro makes a tricky smile, and freaking throws you over his shoulder. You squeal, slapping his back as he laughs until he finally gives in and holds you comfortably in his arms. You, honestly, have no romantic feelings towards the shaggy haired mutant: it’s purely platonic, and thankfully Loki sees that and doesn’t go all possessive and freaky. You smack Pietro’s chest, and he gives you a loud chuckle. 

“Sure, why not carry me like a baby,” you snark at Pietro, “Minou, you wanna meet us there or come for a ride?” 

Loki’s expression flickers in shock, unexpecting of the invitation. 

“I am confused. I cannot carry another man! How will he fit?” Pietro wonders. 

You simply smile at Loki in what you hope is a convincing fashion and pat your thighs enticingly. Loki swallows. You make a ‘ehhhhh?’ noise. Pietro is befuddled by everything. 

“Fine,” Loki gives in, attempting to sound perturbed about it, but clearly excited. You know that he likes it when you hold him like a precious child. As Lokitty, of course. Loki jumps in a pouncing fashion, Quicksilver shrieks, and you cheer. 

Pietro’s eyes are closed in fright. They open slowly, unsuredly, as he take account of the fact that he isn’t mauled to death or carrying a very slender Asgardian on top of you. 

“Huh?” 

“There’s mon doux minou, my sweet baby, the best kitten in the world, aren’t you?” you coo at Lokitty, pulling in his adorable little face so you can kiss his nose. 

“Oh, the God is a cat now? Is this… is this normal?” Pietro says perplexed. You nod, and hold up Lokitty to Pietro by hoisting up his underarms. “Oh! He is so cute! You are cute little baby!” 

Loki hisses, and his eyes narrow. Pietro gulps. 

“Aww, none of that, Lokitty. Play nice with Pietro, he’s giving us a ride,” you command. He makes an annoyed meow, and you boop his nose. 

“Mew?” You peck his forehead, and give him more scratches behind the ear. Lokitty gives you a satisfied rumbling purr. 

“Okay, Pietro, we’re good,” 

“Alright then, princess,” Pietro chortles, and takes off. You’re standing in the training room in seconds, and Lokitty tries to jump out of your hands to become Loki again. You hold onto him, and he glances up at you, betrayed. Pietro peeks into the training room, and sees everyone else who he’s mentioned should be there is inside sparring. 

“Just a little longer? I miss mon minou,” you say to him quietly, petting his head soothingly. The Trickster God still seems frustrated at being tricked, but purrs nonetheless. The poor baby, he can’t help it. Lokitty slowly, closes his eyes and laxes into your embrace. Triumph! 

“Thank you, mon minou,” you whisper before moving into the training room. Lokitty gives you an annoyed ‘mrrow’ and then he shifts in your arms to a more poised position of regal grace instead of crudely splayed on his back across your arms. You kiss his fuzzy head, and head inside the room after Pietro. 

It erupts in a chorus of hellos and thank yous and other surprised exclamations. Lokitty holds them all at bay from toppling you over with hugs, loud ‘rrrrrrow’s making them hesitate. You tut at the protective cat, helping him up to your shoulder so he can be your little pirate co-captain. 

“Hey everybody, it’s good to see you too,” you laugh. Vision floats in the air near Wanda and Pietro, Rhodey in War Machine armour clunking over with a hesitant smile, and Sam in his falcon suit eagerly waving. 

“Is that little furball-” Sam starts, after attempting to embrace you and getting put off by Lokitty’s possessive yowlings. Lokitty huffs at Sam’s simply degrading slandering. 

“Yes, this is my beloved Lokitty, and he says ‘how dare you downgrade my magnificent self to a furball’?” you mimic a dramatic iteration of Loki’s snooty voice, and Lokitty makes an affirmative ‘meow’. Sam laughs in disbelief. 

“Have I really never told you how I met Loki?” you chuckle. These New Avengers come in and huddle closer as you begin your tale. You have to sit on the ground, legs still weak from your eventful night with Loki, and the others all sit around with a sort of kindergarten class feel. Even Natasha and Steve end up sitting on the floor and listening to the story, having heard only snippets of it. Lokitty jumps back into your lap, and promptly starts to teeter on the edge of sleep and consciousness. It’s that sweet kitten thing, where you’re petting the cat and it’s eyes are pretty much shut but when you stop petting they meow in protest until your return to helping them relax. 

He paws at your thigh when you forget something in the story, or if you aren’t presenting him as elegant as most surely is. 

About the time when you’ve gotten to Harrison (Loki has this sort of slow growl thing going on, his tail whipping agitatedly every moment he is involved), Tony has come looking for you and the team. 

“What the hell are you guys sitting around for? I don’t pay for you all to sit around and sing kumbaya! Oh hey, Fae! Kid, how are you?” 

“With all due respect, Mr. Stark, she is retelling the most interesting story of the union between her and Loki,” Vision looks at Tony to the side, his cybernetic-esc eyes seemingly pressing into his soul. 

“Aw shit, really?” Tony blurts. You glare at him, mockingly covering Lokitty’s opposite-of-innocent ears. He mews, glancing up at you with big adorable pupils. You can’t help but coo at the kitten. 

_ Why didn’t he try and take over the planet like this? Humanity would have willingly submitted to such a sweet face.  _

_ Wait! Can you imagine him in his horned helmet and scepter, above the crowds in Germany, commanding people to kneel? Hellllllll yes.  _

“Yeah, so come sit your iron ass down and listen for once, Tony,” Rhodey insists. 

“Well, can’t disagree with that,” Tony snorts, before coming over and sitting to your left. 

You smile at him, Lokitty hisses at his closeness, and everything is normal. Tony, after about 10 minutes, stands up and curses. 

“Jeez, Tony, watch your language! You’ll hurt Steve’s feelings, and look at this kitten! He’s too wittle to hear such harsh words!” you tease, Lokitty meowing in fake horror. Tony’s expression briefly flickers to one of a soft smile (a look that is both rare and lively) and then switches to an exasperated one for a groan. 

“I left the kid! There's a kid here! That’s why I came in here!” Tony yells. You perk up immediately. 

“What do you mean, a kid,” Steve asks, wary. 

“You know, one of the sick kids. She did the ‘make a wish’ thingy, and wanted to meet the Avengers,” Tony says rapidly, running out the door to presumably pick her up from wherever she was left. You lift up Lokitty so you’re eye level with him. 

“You hear that, minou? A kid! You have to be nice, like you were at the read-alouds?” you remind him. 

“Meow,” Lokitty agrees. 

“Okay, this little interaction? Adorable. Absolutely, horribly, tooth-rotting, adorable,” Rhodey notes. You smile at him and then pull in Lokitty sweetly, rocking him like a baby. Lokitty catches onto the ruse cleverly, and makes a little kitten yawn paired with a high pitched ‘reow!’. 

“Oh, he is so precious! I cannot believe that this is still Loki,” Wanda gushes. Lokitty glares at Wanda, the distaste for the witch long-lasting even after mutual forgiveness. Wanda retracts the hand she was reaching out to touch Lokitty with instantly. You tut at the kitten, giving him a harsh look. 

“MrrrRRow,” he sighs, and tenses but allows Wanda to pet him. 

“See, it’s okay,” you coo at Lokitty, Wanda practically beaming with happiness. 

“I never had any pets when I was a child. Always wanted one,” she smiles broadly, and you grin right on back.

“Wanda, you have a really pretty smile! And if giving over Lokitty means you smile more…” Loki makes a yowling sound of protest, “Naw, I couldn’t get rid of him. But my friend Josh has sent me the address of a volunteer shelter in Chelsea, so I can forward that to you.” Wanda nods, thrilled, and Pietro snorts above her. The three of you (Lokitty, Wanda, and yourself), all give Pietro a haughty look and then continue idolizing Lokitty. 

“Okay, here’s the gang,” Tony announces, a huge grin on his face as he leads a short almond-eyed girl with long twin brown braids into the room. She pulls along a large canister, the size of a large dog, that has a tube connected to her nose to breathe. A nasal tube. 

Pietro and Wanda seem shocked, but you are familiar with this sort of thing. There are a lot of times where you’d do outreach at hospitals with Josh, Carroll, and occasionally Katy. Don’t treat them like they’re different, because these kids aren’t. Most of them have the same dreams and goals as any other. 

You wave, standing up and allow Lokitty to squirm up to perch on your shoulder. You give him a little scratch in thanks for behaving. 

The little girl, surprisingly enough, runs right past the heroes of armour and of patriotism and straight to you. 

“Oh my goodness! You’re my favorite! Mr. Stark told me that you might be sleeping but I hoped you’d be here?”

“Me?” you startle surprisingly. 

“Yeah! You’re so cool! The wings, the horns, aughh! I wish I had wings!” she fangirls, and you glance at Steve with a confused smile. You’ve never had a real big fan like this, who actually thinks that you’re their favorite Avenger.  _ ‘What do I do?’ _ you mouth, and Steve just nods thankfully. He’s had to deal with this too many times, and is more than glad to pass the torch to you. 

“Wow, I feel totally undeserving of this attention! Do you want to, erm, touch my wing?” 

“COULD I???” 

You laugh at her excitement, and kneel in a better position to bring your wing to the front so she can run her fingers through it.

“It’s just like the people theorized on the fan websites! So soft and smooth, but clearly durable,” 

“I have a fan website?” You squawk. She looks at you incredulously. 

“Uh, yeah, of course. Everyone does. But since you’re newer than the others, it doesn’t have as much fact… just speculation mostly,” 

“I mean, I can try and answer your questions! Most of what I have is speculation as well, but I can certainly do my best!” 

The girl clutches her chest in a mock heart-attack fashion. You laugh. 

“Oh, also, what’s your name? I feel like if I’m going to be telling you everything I should know something about you too,” 

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! MY NAME… MY NAME IS KARASI!” she practically screams. 

Tony is trying to hide his snickering. The others are trying to sneak away. You can understand the awkwardness. None of them are the object of any extreme affections like you. 

“Hey, Karasi, do you want to come talk in my room, instead of in the training room?”

“DO I?” 

You chuckle, and hold her hand as you take the elevator to the quarters, Lokitty still on your shoulder. 

“You have a cat? He’s so cute!!” she says, finally noticing the kitten masquerading to be a parrot. He makes an amused ‘mew’ as if to say, ‘oh now you see me?’. You reach up and give Lokitty an affectionate pat. He rubs your hand with his head, and purrs softly. 

“Sorta, you’ll see upstairs. Oop, here we are!” you trot over to your room and open it up for her. Karasi giggles and skips into the room, in awe of even the hallway. 

“The other door on this floor, is that Loki’s room?” she asks, after jumping on your bed and looking around at the interesting environment. 

“Yeah,” 

“Are you two dating, or just you know…” she makes a popping noise with her mouth and then makes a hole with one hand and in a lewd fashion pumps her finger into it.  _ Aha, banging.  _

“Uh… he doesn’t like it when I tell everyone, but things have been changing... you know, I’ll let Loki tell you,” you decide on. You gently lift Lokitty from your shoulder. He meows in your hands. Karasi seems very confused, but enraptured all the same. 

“Alright, switch back, lovely,” you coo at the kitten, and then let him jump out of your hands. 

Karasi makes a ‘AAAAAH’ noise as Lokitty sifts back into Loki. He whips his hair in a egotistical fashion, and then looks down at Karasi snootily. 

“It is I, Loki,” he announces. You snort, but Karasi seems starstruck. 

“THAT'S SO COOL!” she screams. Loki winces at the tone, but seems more than content with the heavy praise. After calming herself for a moment, Karasi looks at Loki inquisitive. 

“So, are you two an item? There is a lot of speculation, and then someone saw you two at a cafe in Asia a little while ago, and all the other times you two are together…” 

“Does this answer your question?” Loki purrs, and leans down to kiss you passionately. You gasp into his mouth, but give into the plush lips anyway. There's a distinctive click of a camera. 

“Iron Man- err, Mr. Stark told me not to take pictures, but oh my god youarekissingandthefandomisgoingtobesoexcited,” Karasi is already clicking away at her phone like a girl possessed, posting the photo of you lip-locked with your boyfriend. 

“So we’re telling people now, mon minou?” you whisper against him. 

“Can’t have anyone taking you away from me now… and you’ve already pledged me all of your love anyhow,” Loki purrs, running a thumb around your lips. You smile against him, a close lipped smirk. 

“Works for me,” you murmur. 

“SOOOOOO, yes for dating?” 

“This is the woman I will someday marry, and someday have children with and rest forever next to,” Loki proclaims. You flush. 

“He’s a bit overzealous, but yes, we’re very intimate,” you sigh. Karasi looks like she is about to combust. 

“You know, everybody likes you guys together. Like a stereotypical dark guy with a bad past and the bright girl who’s always joyous. It’s a match made in heaven, what can I say?”

“See I thought the same thing, but the truth is, Loki’s just a softie,” you giggle. 

“No way! He looks so scary and dark in the videos and interviews and stuff!” 

“Ehh, there hasn’t been any with me around,” you shrug. And… Eureka. “I can show you how sweet he is!”

Loki looks at you like a deer in headlights, terrified of what your plan may be. 

“Whatever you are thinking of doing… do not attempt to cross me!” Loki threatens, backing away. You understand an empty threat when you see one, but Karasi seems to take it as it seems.

“Maybe you shouldn’t press his buttons...” she warns nervously. 

“Ah, you don’t have to worry about me. Loki loves me, he won’t try to hurt me,” you stalk closer to the imposing man, who assumes a fighting position. 

“I’M WARNING YOU, WOMAN!” Loki screeches, and you simply pounce onto him and hold him down. He flails under you, and you reach up and scratch behind his ears in a tickly fashion. 

“NO! YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU CROSSED ME!” he shrieks as you tickle him and lure out of him the sweetest purrs and adorable laughs. In moments, he’s stopped struggling and strains his neck for more pets. 

“See, Karasi? He’s a sweetheart, but doesn’t want to show anybody because he’s a big strong man,” you tease him, kissing his nose. 

“That’s insane,” Karasi raises her phone above your shoulder, and Loki hisses at her. 

“THERE WILL BE NO EVIDENCE OF THIS REACHING THE WORLD WIDE WEB!” Loki yells. You smooth back his hair, cooing at him to lower his volume. Karasi gives him an incredulous look, as she tries and fails to remember anyone who called the internet the world wide web recently. 

“Lower your volume! You’re at a twelve, you need to go to a six,” you reprimand jokingly. 

Loki pouts, and you watch as the gears turn in his head to stop the mocking of him. 

“But, dearest, how about you show our guest your talented singing?” he says cleverly.

“YOU CAN SING?” Karasi yells. Loki gives you a triumphant smile. You rub his head lovingly. 

“You win this round, mon minou. Can you start packing, and I’ll provide the back-up music?” 

“Alright, but I would like a kiss in retribution for packing your things,” Loki demands. You roll your eyes sarcastically, but give him a kiss on the forehead as you release him from your weight. “No, on my lips!” he instructs. 

“So needy,” you tease, but give him a smooch anyway. He happily wanders about to unearth a suitcase for your clothes. You create a portal to grab your guitar and then plop back onto the bed. Karasi follows you around, and then sits beside you excitedly. 

“Before I start, is it intrusive to ask what ails you? Medically?” you question respectfully. 

“Oh, I have leukemia. It’s like, blood cancer, and I’ve run out of treatments my parents can afford,” 

“I know sorry doesn’t do anything, but I’m going to say it anyway. I apologize on behalf of the planet for giving you this cancer,” you say to her. She falls into herself a little bit, but a shy smile appears. 

“Thanks. This… meeting the Avengers! This is all I’ve wanted since forever. I’ve been obsessed with the team since it formed, and living in the Midwest you guys don’t come out there often… this is incredible. So, thank you,” 

“You know what? Come ‘ere, I’m gonna try and heal you. Tell me if you start feeling sleepy,” you demand, wiping the tears from your eyes. Karasi grins, and scooches over. You place your hands on her stomach, and begin to heal her. The problem is… it’s a disease. You can’t heal that. It’s not something you can fix. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t do it,” you say tearfully. She pats your shoulder awkwardly, unsure of what to say. “But you know what I can do? I can fix the money issue!” you chirp, and whip out your cell phone. 

“No, no, you really don’t have to-” 

“I may not have too much cash, but Tony owes me. For… for a few things, actually. I think I can milk maybe a few thousand dollars out of him… is that enough?” 

“THAT’S CRAZY! THANK YOU!” 

“Don’t thank me yet- wait it’s dialing… Hi Tony! I need money! No, I’m not buying things for sex. NO! I don’t want to borrow yours, ick. Yes Tony, it’s for a good cause. Honestly think about it- there’s not actually a whole lot I’d buy these days. So… yeah! Really? Oh, thank you. A hundred thousand dollars? Alrighty then, if you're sure. Thank you, Tony. Tony! _ I appreciate you is just another way to say I love you. _ Sooooooo… Appreciate you too,” you talk on the phone to Tony, and then write the sum on a check to give to Karasi. 

“Your parents will know how to cash this, I hope it helps,” you say to her, rustling your wings in anticipation of her reaction. Karasi tears up. 

“Thank you. Thank you so so so much,” she cries out, wrapping her frail arms around you. You hug her back gently. 

“It’s nothing. I want to help,” you smile at her, patting her back lightly. 

“Now,” she says, wiping away the last of her tears, Karasi presents you with your guitar, “Play me something awesome!” You take it from her thankfully. In the background, Loki is humming hymns under his breath as he packs up things to bring to Asgard. 

“Okay, I’ve been learning a few new things. I’ve already played Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and First Day of My Life for Loki-Love though I don’t know if he can recall that… What else do I know? OH! I can sing America, by Simon and Garfunkel? Do you know that? You might be a little bit young…”

“You can sing it. And then I’ll know America, but as adapted by the superheroine Fae,” Karasi says cheekily. You laugh loudly, and begin the song. 

“ _ Let us be lovers, we'll marry our fortunes together… I've got some real estate here in my bag… oooh,”  _ it sounds good, and Karasi looks enchanted by the music. You continue. “ _ So we bought a pack of cigarettes and Mrs. Wagner's pies… And we walked off to look for America.”  _

Loki’s head appears outside your closet. He quickly strides over, the nearly filled suitcase left behind unwanted. If you focus, you could probably make out the rapid pump of Loki's heart. 

_ “Cathy, I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh. Michigan seems like a dream to me now… It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw, I've gone to look for America.  _

_ Laughing on the bus, playing games with the faces. She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy… I said, be careful, his bowtie is really a camera!”  _ Karasi seems to like that part. She giggles, and looks over at Loki. He is standing straight as a rod, eyes following your fingers on the strings of the guitar he’d given you and then drifting to your humming lips. 

_ “Toss me a cigarette, I think there's one in my raincoat. We smoked the last one an hour ago. Oooh, oooh. So I looked at the scenery, She read her magazine… And the moon rose over an open field.”  _ The music rises, like a cloud condensing. You pat the spot next to you for Loki to sit. He obeys, in a way that you’re not sure if he actually processed anything in his mind or if he’s just so enraptured that his body listens in order to come closer. 

_ “Cathy, I'm lost, I said though I knew she was sleeping. I'm empty and aching and I don't know why… Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike, they've all come to look for America. _

_ All come to look for America… All come to look for America.”  _ You play yourself off, letting the music taper as your close off with soft ‘ooh’s. The room is silent for a moment, and you immediately go to the conclusion that they must have hated it. Your cheeks flush in embarrassment.  _ Stupid stupid stupid.  _

“Wow… that’s… that’s amazing. You really must be part angel,” Karasi whispers, in a hushed tone. You duck your head in bashful thanks. 

“I’m really not an angel. It’s unhealthy to put someone on a pedestal like that. Everyone’s got talents… I guess I can sing well,” you laugh awkwardly. 

“YOU GUESS?” she says hysterically. Your blush deepens. You glance at Loki, who seems to be shaken. In a good or bad way, you can’t tell. 

“Young girl. You should leave. Take the elevator, go down to the kitchen. There should be some people there by now.” Loki states it robotically. Karasi looks at him for a moment. 

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. She will return to you downstairs in approximately ten minutes. If you may,” Loki continues. His jaw flutters. Karasi takes the hint with a ‘aha’ and then scurries out of the room. 

The moment poor Karasi has the good mind to shut the door behind her, Loki has pounced and wrapped an arm around you. He supports you as he kisses you fiercely, everywhere on your face. His lips work down your body, easily stripping you of the very sundress he’d dressed you in mere hours ago. His clothes vanish immediately upon the first kiss, no use containing the instant boner in his pants. 

“Do you know -kiss- how much -kiss- I love you? Your voice -kiss- the things it does to me -kiss-... do you understand?” Loki purrs, finally reaching your lacy panties. He slips his fingers into the hemline, and yanks them downwards. His beautiful fingers dip into your cunt easily, arousal already easing his passage.

“Fuck!” you shout at the sudden entrance. 

“Ah, my sentiments exactly darling,” 

Loki plants an adoring kiss on the hemline of your underwear, and then pulls them down. He glances up at you from your thighs, and then pulls his fingers from where they’ve been stretching you and licks them clean. You whimper at the sinful look on his face. 

“What do you think, my sweet? We have a very short time frame… should I fuck you on the bed? Maybe on the floor, like a wild animal? Or hmm, the wall? Yes, the wall will suffice for now…” 

“That… sounds nice…” 

With that, he scoops you up, groaning all the while with each time you press your lips to his naked body. He pushes you against a wall. 

“Norns, what you do to me… Jump,” he implores darkly. You obey immediately, and Loki takes only a moment's hesitation before neatly fitting into you. You gasp, and Loki goes right back to kissing you. It’s like a fucking puzzle, the two of you snapping together naturally at this point. 

“Do you know that this started out as just mild interest? And then infatuation… and then a measly pining that I wished to overcome and forget. But you just keep worming your way into my heart, hmm? Beating me down. Making me a slave to your whim. Anything you want… I’d do so eagerly. To  _ please _ you.  _ Do you know how insane that feels? For me _ ?” Loki growls, setting a rough pace that has you mewling with each stroke. His head comes to lie right by your ear, and he whispers hotly into it, slowing down his cock like an idling car. “I love you. How can I love you so much? Since the first night I thrust myself into you, I knew I simply had to have you. But you’ve ensnared me instead. Do you see what you’ve done, dear? You make me feel so good, nearly drunk… I fucked you so hard last night… I bet you can hardly remember… but what can I say? You’ve made me positively insatiable. You sing so sweetly, and then all I can imagine is being inside you again…” 

“ _ Loki, more… harder…” _

“Say it again. Say my name. Tell me who you belong to, who you need,” Loki growls, and your heart stutters. His eyes are flashing with red swirls, and it’s  _ fucking hot _ . 

“ _ Loki, Loki, Loki,” _

“That’s it,” he purrs, and then like a runaway train he’s off again, so swift and powerful it’s mere seconds before you’re squeezing his manhood in orgasm. Loki moans with the feeling, and is coming soon after. 

His eyes are glazed and affectionate as he nuzzles your face, softened cock slipping out of you lazily. You sigh against his strong form, and Loki adjusts the positioning of how he holds you. 

“That was nice…” you note weakly. “If I knew all I had to do was sing a song for sex, then… well, actually, you’re not picky. You can get it up pretty much anytime, I really don’t need a trigger,” 

“Though it could have been said more eloquently… yes,” Loki chuckles. “Did I hurt your wings by slamming them into the wall?” 

You feel around for a second internally, shifting your wings. “Not really. But you’ll be delighted to hear that it’s molting season again,” 

“I think I may have already cleaned your wings previously… when you were regaining strength… after a particularly wild bout last night. I do hope you don’t mind that I kept them,” 

“Did you make me come in my sleep by cleaning my wings?” you ask him incredulously, as he carries you to the bathroom to wipe you both down. You can’t even tell some feathers are missing: he’d done a perfect job. 

“Perhaps,” he says nonchalantly. You roll your eyes at him, and then pair it with a smile as he sets upon the toilet seat. Nudging your messy legs open carefully, he grabs a small towel. 

“A little creepy, but alright,”

Loki wets the small cloth and then cleans you up meticulously. You give him a kiss when he’s finished. 

“You’re going to make me lazy, you know that? Doing everything for me…” 

“Mhmm, I wouldn’t mind. I want to do everything for you,” Loki flashes a brilliant smile that takes your breath away. You flush, and look away abashedly. He takes his own turn with the cloth. 

“Don’t start with that! There's a kid downstairs who’s probably telling everyone that you shooed her away to bang,” you groan, throwing a hand over your face. Loki kisses your temple, impervious to the embarrassing notion that there is a literal child (Karasi can’t be older than 13) downstairs spreading the news that ‘HEY THEY’RE FUUUUUCKING!’ 

Loki then snaps his fingers, and there's a whoosh of green magic as you’re suddenly back in the sundress as if nothing happened. You accept his hands as they pull you off your seat and into his arms. He makes an idle note that if you are to fulfill his promise to have returned in 10minutes, that the two of you should leave momentarily. Loki holds your hand as you stroll together to the elevator. 

“Hey, mon minou?” 

“Yes, my sweet?” The elevator doors open, and Loki walks into them. 

“Do you really love me that much?” He freezes, your hand all of a sudden caged in his instead of hugged. You crane your head to meet his eyes. Loki looks straight ahead. “I mean, you don’t have to,” you give your conjoined hands a swing as the elevator moves downwards, “I don’t even know if anyone could love anyone that much. Seems like a fairytale. But… honestly, spending time with you makes life feel like something out of a slightly dirty novel. You say all these grandiose confessions of love, and though they are not lies, I would be able to tell… they could be overestimated. Even if they weren’t true, it’s nice to imagine that they are. That someone could love  _ me _ , of all people, that much.” You look back up at Loki with a smile in place. It’s quickly washed away by the tears in his eyes… he makes a choked sobbing noise. Loki turns to you slowly, grasping your shoulders firmly. 

“Of course they are true,  _ of course _ . How could you- how… darling, you are so mind-bogglingly easy to love. I adore you, anyone and everyone adores you. This is no fairytale. I love you, with all my heart and soul and every single inch of my being. Know that each time I say these ‘grandiose confessions’ they are not only true, but what I mean when I say ‘I love you’. I have never meant those words before as much as I do now. My heart belongs to you, never doubt that,” Loki tells you strongly. You nod, reaching up to stop those threatening tears. He leans into your touch as you wipe them away with your thumbs. 

“Alright,” you agree easily, and Loki smiles at you.  _ He adores you. You adore him! Why can’t I just say so?  _

The elevator dings just as you open your mouth to tell him your dilemma.  _ Dammit. _ Loki’s hand returns to yours as he heads out into the living room. Tony and Karasi are awwing over a tablet in Tony’s hands, and when you two step into the room it is quickly whipped behind Tony’s back. They both do a horrible job of pretending to be innocent. 

“What did you do,” Loki hisses, on alert immediately. 

“Nothing!” Karasi says mock-innocently. 

“You definitely did something!” you pipe up, looking at the troublesome pair. 

“Ah, absolutely nothing, kiddo,” Tony snickers. 

“DON’T TRY TO HIDE YOUR TRICKS FROM THE GOD OF MISCHIEF!” Loki booms. 

“Yeah, what he said!” you add on meekly. 

“Mr. Stark,” Karasi stage-whispers as she pulls on his sleeve, “You should probably give up on hiding it, it involves them anyway! If you don’t, Loki can turn you into a cat.” 

“That’s a good point… Though I can imagine that I’d be a delicious kitten, probably cuter than Rock of Ages,” he muses.    


“Tony…. What have you been doing?” you ask nervously once again, instantaneously thinking to the fact that the quarters you live in now are not the same as the ones at the previous Avengers HQ,  _ and you have not checked if there are any cameras.  _ You’re blushing immediately, and know for a fact that if you mentioned it out loud Loki would insist on keeping the accidental sex-tape and most likely murder in cold blood anyone else who’d seen you like that. 

“Stark, I swear by the Norns, if you do not reveal to us your secret, I will turn you into a  _ leech _ , and then make off with all of your riches, and squish you beneath my heel,” 

Stark blanches. Karasi looks at him pointedly, with an expression that is probably more fit for mothers. Tony grumbles excuses and other meaningless things as he passes over the tablet. It’s still open, and the camera recordings of the elevator come up. You grasp half of it, and Loki is holding the other intently. You watch in not horror, but certainly, apprehension as the video plays. 

“What. In. The. Nine Realms is THIS?” Loki roars angrily. The tablet is broken in half under Loki’s strength, and he flings it across the room furiously.  _ Oh Tony, now you’ve done it.  _ Loki’s practically frothing at the mouth, protectiveness and possessiveness heating his rage to a boiling point. You sigh, and then motion for Karasi to come over. She does so hastily, practically hiding beneath your wings. Loki’s absolutely livid, and for good reason, as he lunges for Tony. The billionaire tries to run, but is immediately blocked by Loki. 

“Love, please don’t kill him! I’ll look the other way if it’s just roughing ‘im up though,” you call out as you lead the frightened girl away from the scene that’s about to unfold. Tony is laughing awkwardly, trying to dissuade the hell-bent Loki from a number of things. 

“I was going to beat the living Hel out of him whether or not you approved,” Loki snarls, grabbing a frightened Tony by the scruff of his neck. 

“Aren’t you going to stop him?” Karasi asks as you quickly close the door of the living area behind the two of you. 

“No… Loki’s… he’s not sure of a lot of things... I guess you could call him insecure. Overly sensitive about a few things in his life. Seems tough because he’s scared of a whole bunch of scenarios. The idea of the precious time we have together being hijacked by another… it makes him upset. Does that make sense?” 

“But why? Why is the time so precious?” Karasi asks curiously. 

“Honey… I’m not immortal like he is. Fae live to be no more than 150 before returning to the planet, at least to my knowledge. Usually less actually. Loki will live forever,” you remind her carefully. She clenches her tank of air tightly, and looks up at you as you stride down the hall. 

“That sucks,” Karasi whimpers. 

“Yeah, it does. That’s why we’re leaving, so that we can spend as much time together as possible. Get the most out of each other as possible, while we still have the time. Perhaps over a century might feel like forever to me and you but to Loki it goes fast. So, maybe I’ll teach him how to sing… hmm, he’d be good at piano, those fingers…” You muse as you head to the nearby kitchen, where Steve and Nat most likely are getting a midday snack.  _ I could probably just plop Minou in front of a piano and he’d work it out. Very intelligent, that man.  _

“You keep talking about leaving… you’re not  _ actually _ going somewhere, are you?” Karasi breaks you from your thoughts, her voice stricken with worry. 

“Oh, I haven’t told you! I’m sorry. We’re going to visit Loki’s parents in Asgard, and then we’re moving out of the Avengers Compound,” 

“YOU CAN’T LEAVE THE AVENGERS, YOU’RE THE BEST! AND THE NICEST! AND WHO’S GOING TO HEAL THEM, AND TAKE CARE OF THE AVENGERS, AND KEEP THE TEAM TOGETHER?” She screams at you. You are frozen under her outburst, and pat her head soothingly to quiet her. “You can’t leave,”

“I’m not quitting the Avengers! Just going to have our own home. You know, I am an adult who’d someday like a family, a larger one that exists alongside the one of superheroes. And, I have portal abilities, I can just appear whenever and wherever they need me,” you explain to the distraught girl. She nods slowly, the quivering lower lip slowly disappearing. “Also… what do you mean, keep the team together?” 

“It’s super obvious, from a superfan such as myself, that you’re the glue. You calm down Iron Man when he gets antsy and egotistical, and when Captain America gets angry at Tony’s antics you remind him that he’s not the only person on the team who feels that way. You’re there for a silent confidant for everyone, and are always upbeat and make everyone else around you happy with your infectious laughter and smiles. They’re all such different people, self-assured billionaires and sacrificing WWII heroes. There’s no way they could stay together without you,” Karasi explains. You blush at the praise, and place a hand over your heart.

“I don’t know if that’s just what you think, but even if it isn’t true, I appreciate that a lot. And rest assured that these people are my family. A family I want to expand, yes, but I’d never be so foolish as to ditch them,” 

“That’s important, they  _ need  _ you,” she insists. You do a shy little smile, and then push her into the room ahead of you. In fact, the kitchen does contain a bunch of Avengers. 

“I hear that Fae’s your favorite, but she can’t teach you how to do a bunch of cool martial arts moves. You want to come train with me?” Natasha asks the small child. 

“Uh, yeah, duh,” Karasi says excitedly, and waves goodbye to you happily as Nat leads her away. Over her shoulder, she gives a knowing wink. ‘Thank you’ you mouth. The door on the other side of the room closes after the two of them. 

“How is she?” Steve questions over a cup of water. 

“Adorable, very sweet. She’s the second person in my life who calls me their favorite,” you laugh, tapering off. You glance up at Steve, who takes note of the retreating happiness and goes serious. “She… she said something about if I leave, the Avengers will break up. Do you… I mean, I  _ know _ that you and Tony don’t get along, but you’d never separate the Avengers, right? You guys provide so much hope and shelter to so many people… I don’t want to leave if it will cause that!” 

Steve places a securing hand on your shoulder. 

“Fae. You cannot say you are the sole one responsible for keeping this team together. Yes, me and Tony argue on a number of standpoints, but we both agree that this world needs heroes. Ones beyond the police and firefighters and doctors. But the job of keeping us as one collective party, it falls on each of us. It falls on me, to know when to step away from an argument, on Tony to know when not to start one. On all of us. Never, ever, stop doing what you want to because you worry about us. If you want a life with Loki, then do it, and don’t make yourself crazy over the rest of the team. Either way, we have a jet. You’ll never be too far away, and even more… we still have a gigantic list of music and movies to see together,” Steve does his inspiring “Uncle Sam” moment. You’re in awe of Captain America’s amazing people abilities. 

“Thank you Stevie,” you exclaim, and hug him tightly. His arms come to rest around you after a beat. 

“Uh, I’m really sweaty,” he chokes out. 

“I can tell,” you whisper. 

“You should probably let go now,”

“Yeah, maybe,” 

You let go of him awkwardly, but grin at him anyway. In that moment, the door is magicked open by the man himself, Loki. In his hand, he triumphantly holds a small rat. 

“I have taught Stark a lesson on prying into our personal world!” he announces. 

“Minou, did you turn him into a mouse?” you peer at the squirming mass in Loki’s tight grip. The colours are of Tony’s hair tone, and theres a little blue arc reactor in his tiny chest. It sees you, and squeaks frustratedly. You pet his head with a forefinger.  _ I wonder if we can make him a little mini Iron Suit…  _

“I don’t even want to know,” Steve sighs, and excuses himself for a shower. Mouse-Tony squeaks in protest, probably yelling at Steve for abandoning him. Loki winces at all the noise.

“It appears that even a change in physical form cannot shut this insolent  _ rodent _ . Perhaps I should silence him… after all, I’m fully intent on keeping him in this way until Ragnarok, at the very least,” Loki sneers at the mouse. He squeaks in fear… not as Tony, but in a reaction to a mouse seeing a ferocious feline way. 

“Aww, mon minou, you’re scaring him!! Give Tony here, I’ll calm him down,” 

“Yes, use your powers to make him unconscious!” you sigh at Loki, and retrieve the mouse from his death grip. You calmingly pet the small fuzzy creature, and Tony goes tranquil quickly. The plan of getting Loki to change him back appears in your mind. Because after all, Loki’s a very complicated person: but one thing you can always count on is his insane jealous streak. 

You bring Tony up to your face and give him a tiny, platonic, kiss. 

“Thank you for quieting down, Tony. I’ll take such good care of you, maybe even bring you to Asgard…” you sing-song. 

“B-but,” Loki stutters. You look at him with shoulders raised in a shrugging motion. 

“Well, I can’t trust anyone else to tend to _ mon petite souris _ ! He’ll have to come with us, and I’m sure the future kids we’ll have will adore playing with him,” you note idly. Loki is shaking at this point, envisioning most likely a lifetime of living with Tony Stark. The little Iron-Mouse catches on to what you are doing, and lets out a very cute mouse noise and curls up in your hand as if to stay there forever. If Loki was in a cartoon, he’d be red with steam coming out of his ears and the tea-kettle noise in the background.

“It’s so funny, this is almost exactly what happened when we first met!” And that’s the final straw for Loki. He snaps his fingers, and Tony reappears next to you, human, with a puff of green smoke. Tony looks incredibly relieved not to have the big ears and tail anymore. After he is assured of that, he glares at Loki. 

“You know, I may just rebuke your interstellar passport for that little  _ prank _ , Mischief. What then, hmm?” Tony sneers at Loki. 

“You know what you were doing, Tony. You knew that Loki would go crazy… honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t eat you after he turned you into a mouse,” you remind him, obliging Loki’s twitching hands by beginning to move closer to him. 

“STILL! A MOUSE? I should at least be some kind of smart regal bird, probably an exotic jungle cat of some kind!” 

“Tony, please. This means a lot to him, to me, to both of us. So…” you make your voice light, in a convincing way. “And, if it means anything, you were a very handsome mouse.” 

“Well, I knew that already. Hmmm… you’ve already started to pack, it would be useless if I didn’t let you go now. I guess you two can go then,” 

“Thank you, Tony!” you squeal happily, giving him a light affectionate squeeze of a hug. 

“Yeah, yeah, don’t mention it,” he grumbles. Tony gives a sharp look at Loki, and his mouth is open to make a comment...

Loki hisses at him, not in a human way but  _ quite  _ feline. 

Tony runs, with a squeak and a metaphorical tail between his legs. Then, jubilant and content with the certifiable lack of one Tony Stark, Loki pulls you into his embrace. 

“Sorry for playing around with your jealousy, Loki-Love,” you say into his chest, his mouth already set to work on making you his. 

“No, you were correct. The image of  _ Stark _ watching us through our lives is terrifying,” Loki shivers. You giggle quietly. 

“Did you turn him into a mouse so that you could leverage fear over him as a cat?” 

“Perhaps,” he reflects. You scratch the back of his ear, and listen for the loveable purr. 

“Hey, you wanna finish packing?”

“Whatever you want, dearest darling. I-I I love you. And I don’t want to share you, whether through a screen or personally, with anybody,” 

“And I’m more than happy belonging to you, mon minou,”

_ And, when we get to Asgard… I’m going to tell you how I feel. How much I love you, in the perfect scenic moment.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns!


	35. 3-19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you make it to Asgard.

Only an hour later, everything is packed up and ready to go, having put in a bunch of personal items (like the guitar, a bunch of chocolate that you’ll surprise Loki with, and a camera). You’ve gotten Wanda to promise to take care of your snake (Frank) who seems rather put out you’re going away and to water Sarah so she doesn’t wilt at all. You’re really really really excited to see this new place. Loki on the other hand… should be excited but seems for the most part to be experiencing extreme trepidation. As you stand outside, about to call the Bifrost down from Heimdall, you squeeze Loki's hand questioningly. 

“Minou, what’s the matter?”

“I’m sorry. It is though… it is though I feel something is going to happen. Something  _ wrong _ ,” he murmurs, running his fingers over your hand. 

“Well, something  _ is _ going to happen. We’re going to Asgard! There’s so many somethings that are going to happen, and they’re all going to be wonderful,” you cheerfully reply. He snorts and looks at you. 

“How did I ever end up with someone so mind numbingly positive?”

“You got lucky, that's how. Not everyone as happy-go-lucky as me would stick around with such a smart-ass worrier. It’s probably because you’re very cute,” you chirp. Loki closes his eyes, a smile on his face, and breathes through his nose in a funny sort of laugh. 

“You think me, Loki of Asgard, horrifying Frost Giant, God of Mischief, is  _ cute _ ?” 

“In so many words, yes! But I have to disagree on the Frost Giant bit, it’s not scary at all. Very sexy though,” you wink at him flirtatiously, and he blushes. 

“Conversations with you, my love, never cease to lift my spirits. Thank you,” Loki grins, and you lift up on tiptoe to kiss him on the mouth. 

“Are you guys going to go or just canoodle on the lawn?” Tony yells from inside the Compound. The whole team that's still here (no Bruce, he’s MIA, and no Thor, he’s traversing the galaxy, and no Clint as he’s spending some time with Laura before the new baby Natheniel comes) are watching from inside as you go. 

“I’d watch, they’re both very attractive,” Pietro cackles. Tony and Pietro high five. Wanda apologizes on Pietro’s behalf, and Rhodey on Tony’s. 

“Maybe we should go before anything else is said between those two,” you cringe. Loki nods quickly. 

“Heimdall?” Loki asks of the sky warily. You feel his hand holding yours tightly in anticipation. 

There's nothing for a moment. 

And then, a rainbow beam of light shoots from the sky. Loki smiles, and gestures for you to come into it with him. You wave goodbye excitedly to all of your friends, and follow Loki closely. Walking into it, you’re hit with the intense wash of magic. Your wings flare of their own accord. 

It’s mere moments before you shoot up in the beam of rainbow light, as if an arrow is going into the sky. Loki looks down at you, him being shooting into the air slightly above you, and grins. 

You return it. In moments, you stumble into a golden rounded area right behind Loki. Your suitcase slips from your grasp and rolls across the floor, upon the steps of a platform. The waves of magic that hit you, that strengthen you, is incredible. You’re sure Loki feels it too, being on his homeland (well, one of two) after all. 

There is a man on a pedestal, golden eyed and swath in gold armour. 

“Welcome back to Asgard, Loki Odinson,” his voice is deep and honeyed. He gazes upon Loki with mild indifference, but eyes widen when he looks upon you. He steps down from the perch, pulling a sword from the pedestal and sheathing it. The Bifrost closes, the spectacular power of it coming to an end. 

“I prefer Laufeyson, Heimdall,” Loki says curtly. Heimdall is still staring at you, and Loki moves to stand by your side protectively. “This is my love, from Midgard. She is to remain with me,” 

“You brought one of the Dark Fae?” Heimdall asks incredulously. Loki raises his chin defiantly. 

“Yes. Darling, this is-” 

“Heimdall! Hello, it’s nice to meet you!” you grin at him, erasing the tension between the two men with a few words. Heimdall walks down and lifts your suitcase and hands it to you. 

“Hello to you as well. You must be truly special to have ensnared the Dark Prince,” he notes. Instead of taking offense on the demeaning tone, you flash another smile. 

“Well, I don’t know what to say to that. I just try and be myself, and be happy. And Loki makes me happy, so there we go,” you assert brightly. Heimdall chuckles. 

“There we go. I look forward to hearing your histories, though I can assure you that I have seen much of it already,” 

“Really? Is it the eyes? I bet it's the eyes,” you excitedly stage-whisper to Loki, who takes one look at your silliness and smiles a small little grin, then gives you a peck on the cheek.

“I see all, and I hear all. It is my duty as the protector of Asgard to watch for potential threats amongst Asgard’s enemies,” Heimdall states. 

“WOW! So cool! But Loki’s no enemy, he’s a peach,” you coo at Loki, who darkens dangerously. You take no mind though: just wrap your arms up around his neck and rub your cheek against his. Eventually Loki just gives in and hugs you, knowing that you won’t stop until you get some return of affection. 

“Darling, you are absolutely frightful for my image,” he teasingly says. You boop his nose. Cross-eyed Loki. 

“Sorry, mon minou,” you giggle, then turn to Heimdall to say something… whatever you were about to say is evaporated by the image of the gatekeeper kneeling at your feet. 

“I swear to you, my lady, that if you have a favor you need of me, I will oblige. If it does not go against my orders from the honored Allfather, I pledge myself to you and the love that you have somehow fostered in this once cold-hearted man. It is truly… truly incredible. He is… completely different. And an act neither,” he states. You look at Loki awkwardly, to which he shrugs. You settle on attempting to pull Heimdall up by his shoulders. “Do you dare deny my generous offer?” 

“Uh, no, that's very very kind of you, but I don’t like it when people you know… kneel and all that. Really not my forte,” you laugh. 

“How increasingly peculiar. I have sent word of your arrival to the palace. The horses will meet you at the end of the Bifrost,” he tells you, a hint of a smile appearing. Loki, more than happy on how this whole conversation has gone, takes your suitcase from you and begins to walk down the long Rainbow Bridge. As you start to trek behind him, Heimdall catches your shoulder. You turn back to look at him. 

“Young Fae… you may learn things here that you do not like, that you do not want to hear. Or things that perhaps, you do. Remember my oath to you. And for the sake of all of us, stay with Prince Loki. Although it seems unlikely that you’d want to leave him if you know all that you do and still remain by his side,” he tells you, the end of his spiel having a playful tinge to it. 

“Alright. I mean, whatever happens, Loki and I will do it together. We’ve gone through a lot already, and it only makes us stronger,” you insist, feeling more and more like a Pokemon character. Heimdall laughs quietly. 

“May the Norns bless you, and your union,” 

“Uh, good on you too. It was nice to meet you! Hopefully we can talk more some other time,” you wave, and run to catch up to Loki. 

Heimdall waves back, a full on smile brightening his whole stagnant persona. When you reach Loki, he appears to be less nervous than before, but still wary. 

“What did you speak of with Heimdall?” 

“He was just saying to be careful and cognizant of everything. And to stick with you, mon minou. Like I was planning on doing anything else,” you snort. Loki makes a happy humming sound. “And minou, I can carry my own luggage.”

“Yes, I am aware. I wish to do it anyway, my love,” 

“Yeah, yeah, fine,” you pout, but continue the stroll. Looking around, the sky is a bright clean blue, and it frames the golden city down the path in an almost heavenly sense. The air smells fresh, in a way that makes it all seem almost fake. Even the path you’re walking on, the majestic Bifrost, arches over rushing water that tapers off into nothing. There is a distinct pull of a huge amount of exotic nature that calls happiness. As if they want to say hello, I missed you. 

Without warning, you drop to your knees to look at the bridge better. 

“Darling! Are you well?” 

“Oh, yes. I just wanted to look at the bridge better. It’s so beautiful. Asgard, as a place… is just gorgeous. And the nature here!” you gush. Loki squats down to your level. 

“I am overjoyed that you are enjoying this, love. And we aren’t even at the palace yet,” he chuckles at your child-like wonder at the rushing colours inside the bridge. Loki brushes the top of the bridge. “I broke this bridge. It was years ago now, but I did all the same. It feels as though the distraught man who did that was a completely different person than who I am now.”

You look up at Loki. He seems deep in thought, in reflection. 

“Hey,” you murmur, reaching to cup his face, “You don’t have to worry about that anymore. You said it yourself: you’re different now. And you’ve got me! I’d throw myself over the side of the bridge before I’d let you wreck it,” 

“Don’t even joke about that,” Loki maintains, barely speaking. You reach over and hug him, wrapping your wings around him in a cocoon like fashion. 

“Alright,” you whisper, tucking your head into his neck. Loki whimpers, and pulls in closer. 

“Never ever leave me. Not like that, not even to make a point. Please. I love you. I can’t imagine my world without you in it. It would be… it would be like being adrift in a restless sea. I don’t think I could stand it,” 

“Oh, me too, mon minou. I don’t want to leave you either. How about… we promise to never leave each other unless it’s absolutely necessary? How about that?” you tell him, rubbing his back. Loki pulls back, as if all at once he remembers that he’s in Asgard where he has to be all royal and stuffy and not carefree in your bedroom. 

“That sounds perfect. Absolutely perfect,” he smiles again. Your heartbeat sounds like a drum circle, and you barely match your lips with his for a sweet caress. 

“We’re in the middle of the Bifrost… shouldn’t we move…?” you suggest after you seperate from him. He chuckles, touching your hair and letting it go through his agile fingers. 

“Acute observation,” and with a snap of his fingers, you’re at the outside of the palace that had once seemed to be at least a hundred miles away. 

“JESUS! How the fuck did you do that?” you shriek, slapping his bicep. Loki laughs. 

“My magic is derived from Asgard. In turn, my power is increased tenfold when on this soil, and therefore I can teleport much larger distances,”

“So why’d we do all that walking then?” you groan. 

“You were enjoying the scenery. You looked… in awe. I revel in watching you grow in curiosity,” Loki smartly replies. 

“Oh, you’re ever so clever. Are we going to go in?” 

The palace entrance is huge and intimidating. It’s sheathed with guards in golden armour with huge spears. The gates are huge, and common passersby give you and your wings odd looks, especially when they see the raven-haired prince next to you. 

Your wings rustle. You unconsciously shirk closer to Loki’s side. 

_ Safety. Loki’s safe.  _ A small voice whispers convincingly. Loki grips your hand, and kisses your cheek. 

“Do not fear, darling. I will simply walk to the gates, and then Mother will come and speak with me and let us within the palace,” he assured you and then leads you up the steps. As he walks, you note the changes in clothes. The simplistic green and black leathers that he’d wear with you are transforming into Asgardian wear. More gold, the small horned headband, even a cape. 

It doesn’t matter to you: he’s still the same inside. 

The guards regard the both of you with varying levels from indifference to outright disgust. A few of them look at you with interest and intrigue. It feels like they are  _ observing  _ you. Like a lab rat. 

“Hello, we are here on the invitation of the Allmother and the permission of the Avengers of Midgard. She should be waiting for our arrival,” 

“Loki?” A voice calls from behind the gates. “Guards, Open the door! There is no need for this hostility, he is my son.” 

A woman stands in the open doors, long majestic golden cape making her look upright ethereal. She smiles heavenly at Loki.

“Mother,” he gasps, voice betraying just how much he missed her. He look to you as if for permission: asking if he can leave you for a moment. You incline your head and give him a little push. 

Loki runs to her, embracing her tearfully. Frigga as well, begins to tear up.

“Oh my son, I’ve missed you so. I never believed in those horrible things they said, my smart boy,” she whispers to him. You shouldn’t be listening, but you can’t help but tune your ears into the conversation.

“Mother… you cannot negate the deeds I have done. But… I have atoned and I hope to atone even more. And… and I have fallen in love along the way. She’s listening in, right now,” he whispers to her. Frigga chuckles, and looks down the steps at you with your suitcases. 

You wave at her sheepishly. She waves back with a motherly smile. Immediately, you adore her and can see why Loki does as well. 

“Come join us, Fae daughter,” she laughs, and you trip up the steps to listen. Loki looks at you with an expression that can only be described as  _ smitten _ . Once you do, she opens her arms up slowly for an embrace. You hug her with zeal. 

“Hi! I’m-“

“Love, I know who you are. Loki has told me much about you in his correspondences through Thor,” 

“Oh! That’s nice. I’ve heard a lot about you too. He was totally obsessed with you, right? I am firm in the belief that he is actually a Momma’s Boy,” 

“Dearest,” Loki chuckles awkwardly, placing a hand on you. 

“No no, it is quite alright. Yes, when Loki was little he’d follow me around the palace like a duckling. Begging me for magic lessons, for hugs, everything,” Frigga answers. Stars are practically in your eyes.  _ Whaaaaaat? _

“Don’t encourage her,” Loki groans.

“Oh! I have small handheld portraits of the boys when they were younger. Would you like to see?”

“WOULD I?” 

~~~~~

The pictures, to say the least, were absolutely adorable. Frigga said that she made them using an instant photo spell, which of course you immediately connected it to an instant camera, which roused an idea of the machine being based on the spell or something similar. 

You took out your camera that you’d brought and snapped some pictures of your favorite ones (to Loki’s chagrin): one of a baby Loki playing with a small toy in the shape of a snake, one of a small child Loki showing Thor his magic (he had cute hair as a kid, you noted), a prepubescent Loki petting a horse, a slightly older version of him healing Thor’s wounds, and one that looks more recent (perhaps only a few years ago, no more than a decade) with short hair and a small knowing smile. 

You had asked about the horse, and Frigga had just mentioned idly that Asgard keeps horses for travel. That they have  _ stables _ . And of course… you begged Loki to see them. And when you beg Loki… of course he obliges you. 

You swing hand in hand outside, passing by a huge garden. 

“Loki, I want to go there!” you say excitedly. 

“We will, darling. Do not fret, we have all the time in the world,” he laughs joyously. You grin at him and nod consent.

“Hey minou, why’d you change your clothes?” 

“Ah, I am striving to stick to Asgard’s norms as to the best of my ability. I… I have made many mistakes, the last time I was here. A great many of them. It would be in the best interest of both of us for me to remain complacent. Honestly, I am shocked that Mother accepted me with such open arms,” 

“Why?”

“I weaved such intricate lies, fooling everyone to get myself on the throne. It was bittersweet either way, knowing that it wasn’t done out of honor but my own mischief,” he sighs, squeezing your hand for comfort. 

“What kind of lies,” 

“Very curious today, hmm?”

“Yeah, is that an issue?”

“Of course not, I revel in your consistent inquisitive nature,” he chuckles. You look at him expectantly, waiting for his answer. Loki hums, as if wishing you to forget. “Mother was willing to forgive me, with her kind heart. For my lies, for my destruction, for my ambition, for everything I did… the things I had done before falling completely prone to Thanos. I doubt that the rest of the people here will be as forgiving. But, it is to be expected. They never really liked me here anyways,” 

“But Loki… why do you refer to Frigga as Mother when you loathe to call Thor your brother?” 

“Ah, acute observation, my sweet. It may be… it may be because part of me has always been spiteful of Thor and the unconditional love he fosters no matter what his crimes may be. Even after he slaughtered a large section of the race of Jotuns…” 

“HE WHAT?”   


“It was a long time ago. Funnily enough, when I learned that I was one of the feared Frost Giants myself,” you gape at him, never having heard this before. He hums again, pressing a kiss to your temple. “Now, let me continue. My… Frigga has always been soft-hearted. Tender. It is clear that she loves her true son, Thor, and myself equally. It is something I will always be grateful for. When she heard of my return to Midgard… even after what I had done to your city…”

“It wasn’t you. You were like a puppet, toyed with by Thanos! It wasn’t you minou. If that was the person you were, the person you are now… let’s just say I would not be here with you,” you reprimand him. Loki has this kind of thinking a lot recently: blaming himself. Always, for every little thing. New York? Yes, he was tortured but he should’ve fought back against him better. Asgard? He should’ve been more considerate and careful, less deceitful. He used all of your soap? How could he ever be so reckless?? It’s bordering on ridiculous. 

“Of course, yes. Though, I can’t help but feel responsible-” 

You break off his thinking by kissing him enthusiastically.

“ _ Loki _ . Hey. Don’t blame yourself for everything, you know? You went through a  _ hell of a lot _ ! No one would be completely okay after they dropped a bomb like that. I went a little stir-crazy after I discovered my wings, and I knew I was adopted! Okay??” you demand of him. 

“I love you,” Loki purrs, caressing your face lovingly.  _ Answer my question, flirt. _

“Okay??” 

“Alright, alright. I am happy that I could bring you here, to Asgard. Are you still enjoying it?”

“Definitely! It’s gorgeous!” 

And it is. The gardens you’ve just finished passing in favor of the expansive stable in the distance, for example. It’s something out of a fairytale, with the smells intoxicating and the colours vivid. It’s like a magic adventure you never want to leave. Complete with your very own prince, you think to yourself. Loki bumps your shoulder.

Finally, you’ve reached the stable. 

There are two stablehands in there, who look upon you with distaste as you go and greet all of the horses after taking the small carrots they keep for treats away to feed them. Loki doesn’t seem to care, a dreamy expression on his face as he watches you happily feed the large animals. It perturbs you slightly, feeling their blatant glares at your horns and wings, but you attempt to take after Loki and ignore it.  _ After all, the horses don’t care. If anything, they like you more!  _

The horse you currently treat to the small carrots is pure white and almost shimmering. She allows you to pet her, and you run your hands through her mane. 

“LADY, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?? THAT HORSE IS ONE OF THE PRIZED STEEDS!” one of the stablehands shouts angrily, seemingly unable to stop himself. You look at him, already blushing, and hesitantly bringing your hand away.

“You dare talk to my love in such a crude manner? Though perhaps not by birthright, I am  _ a prince _ and it would do you well to remember that,” Loki growls lowly as he approaches the man, practically a boy still, threateningly. You reach out for Loki, to hold him back from potentially ridding this poor guy of his vocal chords. He turns into you, fierceness dissipating from his face as you kiss his cheek. You then walk over to the boy, who is currently being harshly whispered at by his companion. 

“I’m sorry for touching that horse. I was under the impression that I was allowed to…? And I can promise you that I’m very good to animals,” 

“I don’t know if you’ll do your filthy Fae voodoo magic on ‘er,” the younger stablehand grumbles. His superior, you’ve deduced, wheels around and smacks him. You stumble back, shocked and frightened. The illusion of perfection shatters.  _ What?  _

_ Should have suspected that though… just like at home, some people aren’t as accepting of things. It's just… it's just realistic.  _

_ This really isn’t a fairytale world.  _

“I apologize on his behalf. He…. he is not good around people, you see, people who are different- eh, heh. Erm. Please do not fire us,” the elder grovels. You turn, almost in slow motion, to see Loki holding himself back by a hair… holding himself back from slaughter. 

“Love, it’s alright. Really,” you hollowly laugh. Loki does not seem amused by your half-hearted lie. “You don’t even know me. If you knew me, then you’d know that my magic isn’t anything that could endanger your horse. I would never, even if I did have that kind of magic, hurt a innocent animal like that. Or an innocent human being, err, Asgardian. Don’t worry,” you smile at him. The stablehand seems at ease now… it might be the minor illusions of peaceful energy you’ve put up, but who knows. “I promise I’ll be good to all the horses. Do I have your permission to maybe ride one?” 

“A-alright,” he agrees hesitantly. You flash him a brilliant smile, and ask for Loki’s horse as well (a majestic all black mare, of course). Do you feel a little guilty for pressuring him with magic? Yes. Do you regret broadening his horizons to another race of people? Absolutely not! 

Loki pulls you aside as you excitedly wait for the stablehands to prep the horse you’d just been yelled at for petting for you to ride. 

“I cannot believe you just did that!” he exclaims, kissing you. “You  _ never _ use your powers to outright influence someone like that,”

“Well I usually don’t like to, as I believe that everyone has their own opinion and a human right to retain that as part of their individuality… but that kid was just  _ wrong _ on so many levels. It was a question with a right answer, and he was  _ wrong _ ,” you explain frustratedly. Loki pets your hair, hugging you in a show of comfort. 

“Some people are simply ignorant, my dear,”

“Yeah…” 

A beat of silence, except for the murmurs between the stablehands preparing the horses. And then:

“Loki?”

“Yes, lovely,”

“I also do not know how to ride a horse,” 

“Why did you ask for one, then??”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns! 
> 
> Sorry for the late update, internet was down! Hope you enjoyed, nonetheless.


	36. 3-20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the life in Asgard is quite different from the one you know.

You end up on a horse, but not in the majestic way you’d imagined: it is not riding into the forest you see beyond the pens and the outskirts of civilization with Loki handsome astride his horse beside you… it is struggling inside an enclosed circle for a bit to learn how to communicate with the beautiful horse. 

At first, she refuses to listen. So, you dismount from the horse, and look her in the eyes to talk. 

“I know you don’t know me. You have no reason to trust me,” you start. Loki, who has been holding the lead connected to the bridle of the horse, clears his throat.

“You are aware, darling, that this is an animal? And can therefore not understand you?”  
  
“Shut up Loki, it worked on you when you were a kitten,” 

“I am very clearly different from this horse,” he grumbles.

“Watch us, we’ll race and beat your ass,” you accuse, hugging your new horse friend. “Right? You can get into the competitive spirit, I can tell,” 

The horse whinnies. You give Loki a look: ‘ _I told ya so’_. Loki shrugs, laughing. 

“I do not believe this is the result of new powers, I believe this is you genuinely treating animals _who do not understand speech_ as potential people,” He snorts. You huff at him, less perturbed more disappointed. 

“She can understand you, Loki, and has accepted the notion that we shall now race, and we will win!” 

Loki rolls his eyes teasingly, and then goes to mount his horse anyways.

“Alright then, lets see how much your connection has miraculously improved the riding,” Loki flirts, looking at you with lighthearted humour in his eyes. 

“Fine! We just have to get all this stuff off of her,” you insist, simply undoing the clasps keeping the saddle and bridle on. They fall to the ground, and you then take off your shoes as well. 

“Miss, please, you cannot ride a horse without the proper equipment!” The older stablehand gasps. Loki, on his horse, grabs his shoulder before he can get far. 

“Trust me, she will do what she wants either way. Stubborn,” Loki sympathetically shakes his head. With a sturdy flap of your wings, you land upon the horse. She neighs, confused but not unhappy. _Yeah, you don’t need clothes or stupid equipment. You’ll be perfect either way._ With your feet firmly holding onto each side of the horse and your hands gripping her mane, you both as one body trot towards the entrance where Loki is. 

“Three laps, my love? First back to this spot wins?” he teases, a competitive glint shining in his eyes. 

“Hell yeah, we’re going to beat you!” you whoop, your horse neighing in agreement. Both Loki and his horse look amused. Loki, with a wave of his magic, creates the numbers out of shimmery gold in the air as well as a finish line. You lean down to your horses ear, “You can do this, right?” 

She makes an affirmative horse noise, like, “Bitch, please. I can beat her any day,” 

“Good, I’d like to have something to gloat about,” you whisper. 

“3,2,1!” Loki calls out, and your horse takes off like a rocket. Though Loki’s not far behind, you actually win. 

Or rather, your horse wins. 

And then continues to run right out of the padlock, vaulting over the gate, and into the forest. 

You hear your name being yelled by Loki, and pull on her mane. Loki and his horse are galloping after you, you can hear it. But your horse… she keeps going. Her heart is racing so loudly, and you can tell how much she wanted to leave in that moment. 

Finally, you get to a stretch of field at least a few miles away from the palace. You slide off of her, and face your horse, holding her face in your hands. 

“Hey there,” 

She nickers softly, an apology. 

“It’s okay. You really didn’t want to be locked up anymore, did you?” 

An affirming hoof pawing at the dirt. 

“I get it. I was like that too… once. Trapped. It feels good to escape to nature, huh?” 

She licks one of your horns. 

“Aww, thanks. I’m not going to make you go back. And I’ll do my best to let you stay out here, okay?” 

Loki’s voice is heard approaching in the distance, calling you to him. 

The horse snorts and shakes her head. She pushes you aside with her head. 

“Yeah! You get out of here, live your life! I’ll remember you!” you encourage, and just like that, the horse takes off. 

For a moment, it’s just you in this clearing. The magic tinges your throat, it’s so powerful. Enticing… calling you to it. This feeling… this feeling of home, of belonging, of birthright. Old Dark Fae magic. It’s very very close. You could practically go and find it, find answers… right now! 

Loki’s horse halts next to you. 

_That’ll have to wait. I’ll ask him later._

“Hiya mon minou!” you chirp. Loki growls, and dismounts his horse quickly to give you a possessive kiss. You melt into him, his embrace making you feel extremely comfortable. Better than whatever your instincts were fooling you into: it’s probably nothing, so you brush it off. 

Loki’s the best feeling ever, feeling like belonging and safety and happy. Like your very soul wants to be intertwined with his. 

“Don’t you dare run off like that again. You frightened me,” he laments, resting his head against yours. There's a beat of silence. “You released the horse, didn’t you,” he sighs. 

“Sorry,” you apologize halfheartedly. 

“Ah, how will I explain this… I’m sure I will think of something, though I can’t say I expected that we’d be in such hot water on the very first day,” 

“Erm… we make an illusion and then run, making sure it remains active for a few days and then disappears so we can’t be seen as culprits?” you suggest. Loki’s mouth perks up in a shrewd smile. 

“There’s my mischievous girl. And then… I am already exhausted. We shall retire to the rooms, for a bath and bed?” 

“Sounds good to me,” 

You open a portal back to the stable, not before crafting a very convincing illusion with combined magics between the two of your powerful abilities of the very same horse you’d freed. The stable hands don’t look past the illusion, and you’re very confident that it will stay in place for at least two days before it vanishes in the dead of night. As you and Loki saunter away, acting as if there was no mischief afoot. 

You break into laughter the minute Loki teleports you inside. 

“That was so funny! You were all like ‘Oh here you go, two perfectly normal horses, Mhmm hmm’,” you cackle, Loki gasping for air next to you he’s laughing so hard. 

“I haven’t had such a laugh since we last tortured the Avengers!!” Loki laughs. You hang onto him as you continue to chortle. 

“My my, it has been ages since I heard such joyous laughter in these empty halls!” Frigga's voice bounces to you through the hall. You wave to her happily, and then realize who’s horse you’ve let go. “Am I allowed to know what it is that makes you laugh so?” 

You glance at Loki, the silence seeming overwhelming. Loki pets your head and smiles. 

“My sweet here had noticed that one of the horses in the stable was incredibly unhappy. She has… a certain affinity for wayward creatures,” Loki begins to allude. Frigga raises her eyebrow elegantly, a move that you now recognize that Loki makes often. You pull on Loki’s sleeve, worried about his plan. He, not unkindly, brushing your hand aside. “Mother, I wish for you to remain open and-”

“You set one of the horses free, did you not?” 

“Yeah, I did. I’m really sorry… she was just so unhappy, I couldn’t force her to go back,” you apologize to her, genuinely feeling guilty now. You’re stagnant in your decision: it was the right thing to do, and you know that. Frigga gestures for Loki to step aside, and of course he listens. You can’t meet her eyes, and your wings droop ashamedly. Loki makes a strange garbled noise, and hardly seems to be able to stop himself from scooping you into his arms and sweetly soothing you. Must be some Jotun instincts or whatever. 

“My child, it’s perfectly fine,” she places a comforting hand on your shoulder. You look up at the queen of Asgard in surprise. 

“Really? You’re not mad?” you gawk. Loki breathes a sigh of relief from behind you, and then almost imperceptibly glides his fingers to touch your waist.

“Ha, no, my dear. We have dozens of horses, and if a Fae such as yourself notices a creature in our care is so depressed then I would insist on its freedom. You made a kind decision, not for your own benefit but charity to someone that would never return it; Now, it is clearer why you and Loki make such a compatible pair,” she smiles softly, and something that looks a whole lot like peaceful contentment crosses her features. You duck your head under the high praise. She claps her hands together. “Now, I presume you were on your way to your quarters after such an eventful first day… should I send notice to the kitchens to bring your food to your shared quarters?” 

‘Shared quarters?’ you mouth to Loki, who's now holding your hips firmly and nuzzling your neck. 

“Do you mind? I can arrange for something… more separate…” Loki pitifully whimpers in your ear. He honestly sounds so dejected, the poor kitten. You shake your head at him, a smile to convey how enjoyable a shared room would be. 

“No, thank you Mother. I will send an illusion to the kitchens when we are ready… I believe my love would relish in dining in the gardens, but perhaps after a bath,” Loki hints heavily. You make a ‘ahhhh!’ noise. Frigga and Loki share a light-hearted chuckle at your enthusiastic reaction. 

“You know, thank you, but I think weshouldgotakethatbathassoonaspossiblesowecangooutside,” you relay in rapid succession. Loki hoists you up in his arms and kisses you. Lightly, innocently, and unlike the passionate tongue-jousting he’d normally do. You raise your eyebrow, he hums and gestures to Frigga who clasps her hands together at the cuteness. _Aha, I see._

As Loki carries you off to his rooms, you look over his shoulder to meet eyes with Frigga as she waves you off with a bright expression. 

“Am I going to meet Odin? It would be only right if I made the same conscious effort for him as I did everyone else to become friends!” you say cheerfully. The mood instantly changes. Loki freezes in place, staring off into the distance. Frigga makes an odd little noise. Even the guards a ways down the hall cough. 

“My sweet girl, I congratulate your ahem… spirited outreach, but I do not think it wise for you to converse with my husband at this time,” 

“Ah, alright. Tomorrow, perhaps?” you remain jubilant… a part of you really wants to heal this family for Loki. He deserves a good one, and you’ve been able to fix a whole lot of relationships and _people_ so why not help out these kind folks? You look up at your boyfriend, who seems to have gone a while without breathing. 

“My child, has my son not told you of Odin and his… ahem, _history_ with the Dark Fae?” 

“Dark Fae lived here?” you excitedly ask. _Finally! I’ll learn important information about my species!_

Frigga straight up slaps Loki. He makes a quiet sound of pain, but hangs his head in shame either way. 

“YOU DID NOT TELL HER THE HISTORY OF HER OWN PEOPLE? HAVE YOU LEARNT NOTHING FROM YOUR OWN EXPERIENCES?” the peaceful queen rages at Loki, who quivers. You squirm in his arms confusedly. 

“What am I missing here? What don’t I know?” you demand, pulling at Loki’s sleeve. You tearfully look up at the man who tightly holds you in his arms. “Have you been keeping something from me about my people? Loki, why?” you whimper at him, biting your lip. Loki’s jaw works, and he’s shaking visibly. You’re almost worried about him dropping you, but that is honestly the least of your concerns right now. 

“Both of you, stop it,” Loki yells. Frigga crosses her arms and blinks, waiting for what he wants to say. You stop pulling on his sleeve, instead shifting your wings unhappily. “Mother, I know nothing of Odin’s infamous quarrels with the Dark Fae except for the fact that they happened. He forbade me from reading the histories, and foolishly I had chalked it up to being superstition. It had quickly become forgotten, as no one seems to speak of the events,” Frigga inclines her head in appreciation of the truths. Then Loki looks to you, awaiting information in his arms nervously, and softens considerably. “Darling, I had promised to tell you honestly what I know. I would never, ever, keep something of such great importance secret from you. I… I love you more than anything. If I knew of your history, I would have let you know by now.” 

The truth rings in your ears, and you hum and hug his torso. 

“Sorry for getting upset, I know you try your best to help me,” you say, the words partially muffled by his chest. The message seems to get across, and Loki returns the hug thankfully. He then leans down and buries his face in your hair. 

Frigga lightly taps Loki’s shoulder, and hands him a paper while whispering angrily at him. You can’t really process it, the words spoken so fast into his ear. You’re no lightweight, but Loki holds you in one arm as if you’re made of just feathers and no skin. You peer over his shoulder at the paper, only to discover that it is in a language you do not understand. Loki thanks Frigga for the paper.

“What is it?” you ask, as Loki begins to walk away to the end of the hall where you can assume the rooms are. You know only that they are humongous and that you and Loki are sleeping together (yay!), but the location and actuality of whats inside it are still a mystery. 

“My Mother has inscribed onto this paper what shelves in the library contain the histories of your people. We are to give this to the Librarian of the library, which you will adore by the way, and he will receive the books that will tell you everything you wish to know,” 

“Really?” you squeal excitedly, jerking upwards to plant a kiss on his mouth. He chuckles, and then it tapers off into a frown.

“I wish to warn you… perhaps, it may not be what you want it to be,” he nervously states, reaching the door and pushing it open with his side. 

“Is that what Frigga whispered to you?” 

“In a way,” you can tell by the way he twitches that Loki wishes to abandon the conversation, so you listen. Instead of pressing the matter, you glance around the room. It is, as you suspected, HUGE. Larger than most New York City apartments you’ve been in, with a sitting room connected to the large bedroom. Loki’s prepared this room, clearly: the bed is extremely large and circular, high ceilinged, and a balcony to fly off of. You gasp in excitement and squirm out of Loki’s arms. He follows you around the room, amused, as you investigate. 

You can’t stop smiling. All of the nerves and upsetting ideas that had clouded your thoughts before vanish. You peer into the bathroom, and squeal at the bathtub that could better be described as a small pool complete with a mini waterfall. It has _everything_. You run back into the bedroom, and into the sitting room, and into the small kitchenette. There's an enchanted bell in there, that you can use to call down to the main kitchen. You step back out of the room to run face first into Loki’s muscular chest. 

“Oh! Hi!” you blurt. 

“Heh. Do you like the quarters, my love?” 

“This is more than I could ever ask for! It’s like I’m a princess or something!” you laugh. Loki gives you a serious look, paired with a small genuine smile. 

“But, my sweet darling, you _are_ a princess. You are my queen,” with that, he grasps your hand and brings it to his lips. 

“Loki… I am about as far from a princess you can get. I like the greasy pizza from New York. I lived in a tree for years. I’m fricking anxiety ridden any time I have to go out into a crowd of more people than I can count on my hands! And that's not even to mention the horns and wings. I’m no princess, let alone a queen,” In moments, Loki fists your hair as he kisses you forcefully tongue and all. You make a little surprised noise. Loki in a suave and attractive motion leads you to the balcony. He opens the doors and you’re standing above those gorgeous gardens at sunset. With the way Asgard works, the sun setting instead of just being on the horizon the bright orangey colours dance everywhere. It’s horribly romantic. 

“My darling… you are more right, more just, more of everything. More than most people could even dream of being. If you are no monarch, then I am no man. I look at you, and I watch you, and I can’t help but be drawn to you. I am not blind, nor stupid: I can see that other people are just as drawn to your light as I am. I count my blessings that I was the first to meet you and make you mine before everyone else… or I would surely not be the one to hold you at night,” 

“Well, I wouldn’t want anyone but you anyway. And I don’t want to rule, either. I just want to be happy,” you shyly remind him. Loki grins, and pulls you close to plant a kiss between your horns. 

“Mhmm, and what is it that makes you happy?” Loki purrs, already expecting your answer. 

“You do!” You laugh against his chest. 

“Dearest, as much as I’d like to take this further, we are both in desperate need of a good washing. We both smell of equine,” Loki chuckles. You sniff your wing, and make a face. 

“Yeah. Definitely,” 

“Mhmm… the water should be warm by now. Shall we bathe together?” 

“I don’t see why not,” you wink at him, and start shucking off your well-worn sundress as you skip back inside. Of course, by the time you’re naked and in the majestic bathroom, Loki’s already lounging in the huge swimming pool/tub expectantly. He opens his arms to lure you inside, sitting chest deep in the steaming water on what appears to be a bench in the water. The water ripples around his pale muscular chest, and Loki smirks at you as he flexes them. You flush. 

The water is deliciously warm, and you slowly sink yourself into the pristine water. The little waterfall, which you assume is to be used like a showerhead, flows more water into the tub. And it all has a delightful herbal smell to it. _Yeah, I don’t need money or a crown. Just give me this bath. This is all I need._ Your wings grow heavy in the water, and you have to pull them in tight to swim over to Loki. You nestle in right by his side, and touch his hair, dampened by the water. His hands start exploring, and it doesn’t take a genius to deduce that if you don’t intervene soon there is going to be no washing done at all.

“Minou, can I wash your hair?” 

“I would be incredibly disappointed if you didn’t,” he purrs, moving forwards in the water so his lanky body only reaches to the level of your breasts. 

“Shampoo?” 

“On your left,” he hums. You see the ceramic vial and pour some of the soap in your palm, then massage it into Loki’s locks. They’re greasy, and in need of a really thorough cleaning job. Your fingers get really deep in there, and Loki makes a bunch of grunts and whines.

“Minou, what are you trying to avoid?” 

“That feline noise! It… it is looked down upon…”

“I love the purring! If you’re trying to hold it in… I’m going to force them out…” 

With that, you press and rub and generally entice the purrs out of hiding. They explode out in full force, all at once. His body shakes as he purrs, Loki moving his head onto your arm in adoration. Then freezes. 

“Damn it,” Loki groans, the purrs reverating through him as you smilingly finish up his locks. He touches your wrist gently as you wash it out. You rub the top of his head with yours. 

“Don’t be upset minou, I love it when you purr. It’s so cute,” 

“I am supposed to be an image of carnal lust, not a cutesy cherub,” Loki grumbles, pouting. 

“Why can’t you be both?” you shrug, wrapping your arms around his neck. Loki purrs softly and nuzzles the crook of your arm. 

“A good point,” he agrees, and then pauses. “Do I have your permission to shift?”

“You don’t need my permission, jeez! Do whatever you want to do, whatever makes you happy,” you exclaim. With that, Loki becomes the illustrious Lady Loki and spins around in your lap to straddle you. You shiver as she traces a long forest green nail down the angle of your jaw. 

“You honestly feel the same for all of me? Despite the differing genders?” 

“We’ve been over this, baby. No matter what form you’re in, female male or anything else, you’re Loki. And I… and I adore Loki,” you grin at him, though inwardly cursing yourself for being unable to say ‘I love you’ yet again. It’s hard to say the words, when they’ve never carried this much weight before. This much _meaning_. 

Lady Loki hums in a sultry way, running her hands over your shoulders. 

“Oh love~ it’s your turn for a good washing…” she purrs, and you gulp. _How does she make that sound so very sexual?_

“Uh, uh huh?” you blubber, interested way more in those _damn nails_ of hers dancing _fucking everywhere_. Lady Loki pulls you in closer and takes your face in her hands and kisses you with softness that contradicts her other actions. 

“Alright, my sweet angel, let's switch,” Lady Loki hums, kissing her way around your neck so you don’t even notice when you land between her legs. “So beautiful, my darling, mhmm, such a good little pet for me,” she encourages, soaping up her hands with shampoo. You make a little humming noise. _I’ll be good for you, you’re the gorgeous one._

Lady Loki’s nails… in your hair… perhaps you’ve developed a new kink. Because it is _so fucking good_ you want to scream. And then, when you thought it could get any better, the nails press into the bottoms of your horns and the muscles there. 

“Ahh! Loki! Ahhh…” you moan, throwing your head back and almost impaling her. 

“Ooh, you liked that, hmm? We were having such an innocent bath, and you went and made it all dirty,” she hotly whispers into the shell of your ear. You whimper and rub your thighs together. 

**-SEX HERE-**

“‘M sorry, no ones ever touched that area before… a-and your nails… they really get i-in there…” you murmur. Before you have a chance to understand exactly what Lady Loki’s dark titter means, there are some sharp fingernails scratching the inside of your thigh. Very very close and getting closer to your cunt. You lean back into her shoulder, already breathing heavily. She chuckles, a bright and lovely sound despite the circumstances, and kisses the side of your face. 

“Heh, you’re so precious. I could never deny you anything you want, you know that?” Her fingers scissor themselves inside of you. “I have dreamt of having you like this many a times, you know that?” They’re like little snakes, slithering so deep, deeper than you could ever do on your own. “No matter what form I’m in, no matter when, or how many times I have you, dearest,” You moan as her fingers press a spot deep inside you that makes you feel stars explode and voice your euphoria. “I love you, you know that? More than anything. I would rather _die,_ than have to live a day without you, without this _splendid_ feeling of you coming apart on my fingertips… I don’t even want to come myself, watching you is such a treasure,” And with that, she presses her thumb to your clit, and you shout in ecstasy before laxing into her shoulder. She hums happily and pets your wet wings as you ride out the end of the orgasm. 

**-that's it-**

“Did you hear me, my lovely Fae? I love you, I love you, I love you,” she hymns, and retrieves a nearby loffa esc thing that looks incredibly soft and dips it in a different dish of soap. She begins to wash you as if you were a little child incapable of doing it yourself. 

“You don’t have to wash me, you know,” you remind her, though it does feel nice to be cared for in this way.

“I know, but I love you, and you’re not going to stop me. Lift your wings,” she sings, giving you a flirtatious sideways glance, sparkling green eyes framed by long beautiful lashes. _Fuck… she’s so damned pretty._

_And she loves me..._

“If you keep saying those words, they’ll lose their meaning,” you laugh, as you stand so she can wash your legs. From your feet, the water level lapping at her generous breasts, Lady Loki purses her lips and stares up at you. She smirks. 

“In the time I’ve known you, you’ve said my name over 2,000 times. Over 2,000 times, made up of you thinking of me, of you whispering my name in tempting undertones, of you reprimanding me, of you kissing me, of you nestled next to me. And, not once, has the meaning changed for me. And it never will,” 

“Well, what does it mean?” You whisper to her, touching her beautifully elegant cheekbones and beautifully flowing hair. She cups your face and smiles grandly. It makes your heart flutter. 

“It means… it means that you know me. And you… and you… you, my sweet darling, you like me at least enough to stay around. To want to do all of these wonderful things for me. You know what it means,” Lady Loki says. Your heart is sputtering like a rundown tractor. It takes all of your courage to simply say:

“Yeah. Yeah I do,” 

With that, Lady Loki smiles and kisses you lovingly, and helps you lather yourself with soap. 

~~~~~

Soon after you’ve both finished with the bath, Lady Loki uses that telephone looking thing in the small kitchenette to rustle up something for dinner. You find a very nice silky bathrobe (in gold and green with slits) that reminds you of a kimono, and sit in the sitting room happily. Lady Loki, wearing something similar, wraps her arms around your neck. 

“Hiya, minou!” you chirp, bending your head to look up at her. 

“Hello, my sweet. Do you like the garment?” 

“Yes, it’s very nice,” you smile, playing with the ribbon that holds it together. 

“Mhmm, I hoped so, as you will be wearing my colours when we are here,” she gives a sharp smile. 

“Green and gold and black?” 

“Exactly. I can’t have Fandral try and steal you away from me now can I?” 

“Who’s Fandral again?” Loki had told you a lot of names and people over the time you’ve been together… almost two years now. One year as a cat, and approaching the end of the second. _I can’t believe it’s already been that long! I can’t even remember a life without my kitten anymore._

“Ugh, a horrid flirt that is frustratingly in the Warriors Three. Warriors Three being the oafs that Thor nearly exclusively did things with, and then roped me into. I have no doubt that Fandral would strive to attempt to encapture away such a pretty flower like you, my dear,” Lady Loki holds your chin in her sharp hands and grins sharply. You gulp, and she watches hungrily. Insatiably. 

A meek but firm knock at the door has Loki reeling upwards. She pats your head. 

“Sorry pet, our meal is here. I’ll have you later,” she promises shrewdly. You flush. As Lady Loki speeds to the door, you mourn as she shifts back into male Loki. Not that male Loki isn’t fantastic, it’s _just…_ Lady Loki is such a treat. Nay, a whole goddamn _meal_. Now that you’ve accepted her, she oozes confidence and big dom energy. You had a conversation with her once, about her sexuality and if you recall it was: “I’ll fuck anything that moves, darling. And I’ll change to match it in strength and size,” 

Simply the thought makes you blush again. Loki opens the door and allows several maids to walk inside with two carts full of food. _There's no way I’m going to be able to eat all of that!_ The three maids who have pushed in the food bow to both of you, but look at you and your wings curiously. Loki makes a low growling noise, but you pat his shoulder to get him to stop, especially after the maids look so frightened. 

“Hello there!” you introduce yourself to the maids, who look at you confusedly. _Apparently, they don’t get a lot of this… friendly energy, I guess._ “What’s your names?” 

“Milady, I don’t… this is very unwarranted!” one of the older maids says. Her face is flushed in embarrassment. 

“If it isn’t too much trouble, then I’d like to know!” you smile brightly. The eldest maid again huffs, and proceeds to stomp out of the room. 

“Completely unladylike behavior! Apologies, my prince, but I cannot deal with this… this… this uncalled for questionings!” as she leaves, the slightly younger one scurrying after her. You frown, genuinely just wanting to know someone. 

“Miss… if I may,” a small voice speaks up, coming from the last and clearly youngest maid. She appears to be no older than Katy: though maybe she is? I mean, Loki doesn’t look older than thirty at the very least, but he’s over a thousand. You perk up immediately, wings flapping excitedly as you sit up. 

“Yes! Please!” 

“My name is Asleif, if you wish to know. I do not know why my superior staff didn’t wish to tell you… whether it is because of some sense of duty and lesserness, or because of uh- how different you look, or because of your unusual pairing, but I see no reason not to. You… you seem very kind, a far throw from the tales of Dark Fae,” she says, soft spoken. You grin at her, ignoring the allusion to a nasty story about your forefathers, and look her straight in the eye before reaching out a hand to shake.

“It’s fantastic to meet you, Asleif!” you shake her hand with zeal. Loki has to muffle a giggle at Asleif’s bewilderment. “I hope we get to be close friends!” 

“Friends? Milady… I-I don’t know if that’s appropriate,” she stutters. 

“Ah, whatever. I don’t care about your social standing, or what you wear, or who you work for. I want to know _you_ , and you already seem like someone who would be an absolute delight to be with,” you elaborate. Aslief blinks slowly, and then nods. Loki comes up over your shoulder, and places a hand on your waist. Aslief looks frightened at the imposing shadow that Loki casts upon her small form, and focuses on her feet. 

“Asleif, what is your current post?” Loki’s voice is kind and buttery, enticing. He’s trying to soothe her, with his voice. 

“M-my prince! I-I’m in the kitchens…”

“Are you entry-level or there by choice?” Loki asks, his intelligent and all-knowing nature apparent. You place your hand over his on your waist and smile up at him. He kisses your temple. 

“I am currently still working on my first year, my prince,” Aslief shakes like a leaf, despite the calming tones of Loki’s voice. Loki snaps his fingers, and a piece of gold paper with a familiar green script falls into Aslief’s hands. 

“This is an order that you must give to your superiors. You will be moved up in rank to be personal handmaiden to my love here,” 

“My p-prince! This… this is such an honor!” she gushes, holding onto the paper with excitement. Her eyes are so wide and merry. _So cute!_

Then it clicks- wait a second, you need a handmaiden? What is this, Medieval England? Actually, the way this society works… might as well be. 

“I don’t need a handmaid, do I?” 

“Love, it is a part of life here. You must have at least one personal servant to assist you in castle life. Make you garments worthy of your title, retrieve necessary items, do your hair and makeup and such, bathe you-” 

“Well, no, you bathe me,” you intercept. Loki stops in the middle of his sentence, mouth hanging open and very rapidly turning red. Aslief snorts and then instantly falls to her knees, shakes slightly. 

“Oh my, I didn't mean to laugh at you! I apologize profusely, please, enact your punishment. I can take it,” she pleads on the ground, head all the way at your feet. You are deeply, deeply, mortified, and jump to the floor to pull her back to her feet. “Wha-?” You hold her wrists tightly. 

“Never do that. Don’t bow to me, ever. I don’t want to punish you or hurt you. You didn’t even do anything wrong! Feel free to laugh at Loki, he’s a goof! See, look,” for good measure, you do the practiced boop of Loki’s nose, and point at the cross eyed expression he gets after. Aslief wipes her eyes and chuckles a little bit. “When you’re with me, no bowing or whatever. I want to be friends with you. When we’re together, you’re not a maid. You feel free to offer opinions and disagree, leave when you get frustrated. If you don’t want to do something, by the love of all that is holy, don’t do it! I don’t want to force you into anything. Alright?” you demand. Loki looks silently impressed, but not at all surprised. 

“Miss… is this truly what you want? This… this is completely unheard of, to say the least,” Aslief whispers. You reach for her hands and hold them within yours. They are worn for someone so young: a sign of a laborious life from an early age.

“The real question is, is that what you want?” 

“I-I… I’d like it…” 

“Perfect! Then are we good?” 

“We are good,” Aslief smiles. You pump your fist in the air happily, and the little maid laughs. She has a very cute laugh: like a little mouse. You wave goodbye to her joyously and she blushes as she scurries away. You turn to Loki directly after, who is perusing through the food that was brought. Sneakily, your arms wrap around his waist. 

“Oh, why hello there. Are you done talking with the girl?” Loki purrs. You make a humming noise and rest your wings on him. 

“Yup, I’m really excited. Aslief is so cute,” 

“Don’t go getting any ideas now, I don’t like to share what’s mine,” Loki teases, turning in your embrace to kiss your forehead. 

“You’re the only one I like in _that_ way, minou. Don’t fret!” you laugh. Loki’s hands rove down your body, and his eyebrow raises in question. “Minou, as tasty as you are, I haven’t eaten like... all day,” you remind him. Loki flushes immediately. 

“By the Norns, darling, I’m so sorry! I hadn’t even thought about that, amidst the coma you were in, and then all the sex, and everything else… you haven’t eaten anything since that little snack this morning, have you? And before that, you hadn’t eaten… argh!” Loki pounds his face angrily, “I’m such a fool!” 

“Loki, hey, don’t worry about it, I’ve gone through worse-” 

“YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO! Norns… here, let me get you some food… would you like to eat on the balcony?” Loki quickly assembles a heaping plate for you, juicy meats and delectable side dishes. The shakings of his hands are obvious. You touch his head, to calm him. Loki leans into your hand predictably. 

“Mon minou… I should have spoken up earlier. It’s my fault, it’s not your job to make sure I eat. Let’s eat on the balcony, it looks beautiful,” you softly suggest, and Loki kisses the palm of your hand in silent agreement. “Gimme a smile, Loki-Love,” you brazenly poke his cheek, demanding for the sliver of a smile that is so genuine it melts your heart. 

He huffs, and then gives you your prize. 

_Perfect. Everything is perfect._

The day closes with you sitting across a small table and mountain of food from the person who you’re completely and undoubtedly in love with. And, as you sit there devouring Asgardian food, you grapple with how to tell him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns! 
> 
> And wow, 10k+ hits! Insanity, guys!


	37. 3-21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Fae history is nothing short of nightmarish.

The bed is too comfortable to leave, you decide. Between Loki’s natural coolness and the comforter, you never want to move ever again. Loki’s arm keeps you firmly on his chest, and you snuggle in closer to him. 

“Mhmm, good morning, sweet,” he whispers, petting your head. 

“I’m sleeping, and will never leave this bed. You’re not allowed to leave either,” you demand, ever the dictator, and Loki chuckles. 

“Alright, my love. But if you don’t get out of bed, who’s going to learn about Fae histories?” 

_ Touche. _

“Ugh…  _ Loki~ _ ,” you whine, snuggling in closer still and now flapping your wings to trap him in the bed. “No moving!” 

Loki chuckles again, and rubs your back beneath the blankets. “Darling, we can go back to bed later. It is not going anywhere… we will return to these quarters each night. As much as I adore the idea of laying with you till the end of time, I do genuinely think you’d appreciate learning of your heritage,” Loki explains, in his horribly intelligent way of his. 

“Fine,” you give in, though reaching up to scritch behind his ears. Loki makes a cute kitten sound, then a grunt when you let go. 

“More?” he asks, eyes widening expectantly. 

“No, we have to go do  _ learning _ ,” you tease, firing his own words back at him. 

“Perhaps… perhaps just a little longer?” 

“Yay,” you say quietly, squeezing your emotional support Loki. He purrs, rubbing his head on your neck. 

“I love you,” he says dreamily, kissing your neck. Leaning against him and spreading your wings, you peck him on the cheek. “Feels good when we’re together.”

“I feel the same way, mon minou,” you smile at him. Loki hums happily and nestles closer for a moment before insisting that the both of you have to leave. As you exit the bedroom, you realize that Aslief has been waiting for you the whole time in the sitting room. 

“Oh, Aslief! Have you been waiting long?” You tut, rushing over to her. She smiles awkwardly and blushes. 

“Oh, miss, it’s no issue. As a maid, it is my duty to wait on hand and foot for you,” she recites. 

“Still. From now on, you don’t have to stand around! Just sit wherever,” you wave your hand around to gesture to the various overstuffed furniture. 

“Miss, I-I couldn’t-” 

“Pssht. If anyone comments, Loki will threaten them. Right, mon minou?” You smile at him, striding back to Loki and kissing his cheek. 

“Yes. Right. Of course,” he agrees, sparking back to life after a moment of savouring your kiss. Loki draws you in, holding onto your waist. 

“Well, either way, we’re going to be in the library for probably the entirety of the day, so you can have a day off! Or something of the sort,” 

“Miss, I’m afraid that I will still have to wait-” 

“Well… hmm. What's something you want to do?” Aslief looks positively frazzled. Clearly, no one’s really asked her this question before. She takes a minute to figure it out, thinking it over.

“I’d always wanted to just… sit in the All-Mothers garden. I’ve only ever gone to tend it, but it is quite beautiful,” 

“Then, Aslief, I command you as my handmaiden to have a day of enjoyment and relaxation in the gardens. As a mental health day,” you insist. Aslief giggles and scurries out of the room with a profuse thank you. Loki buries his head in the crook of your neck and brushes his lips against the curve of it. 

“You’re so beautiful, inside and out. So incredibly kind. Sometimes I worry that the only reason we are together like this is due to your sweetness,” 

“We’re not together because I’m nice. We’re together because you’re good at sex and hot as fuck,” you affirm astutely. Loki laughs, knowing of the sarcasm. 

“Nice to know I’m good for something,” he agrees, then takes your hand in his and begins the walk to the library.

When Loki opens the doors of the library, you immediately gasp. 

There must be thousands upon thousands of books in there. Shelves and shelves and shelves of books, in all shapes and colours and beyond that in so many languages. Loki notices that your jaw is hanging open, and chuckles as he closes it with his fingers. 

“I take it that you like it?”

“‘Like’ doesn’t even begin to cover it! This is AWESOME!” you cheer, wings flaring so much that Loki has to duck. “Sorry,”

“It is… nice to see you so happy. I hope we can sustain that mood throughout this whole ordeal,” he sighs, clearly worried. Loki seems to be glancing about for someone, whilst you think of what could possibly be troubling him. 

_ Is there something about the Fae that I’m not going to like?  _

Loki seems to spot what he’s looking for and grips your hand to lead you there. It’s just a pile of books… oh wait, there’s actually a small man dozing underneath them. He has comically large spectacles and mussy hair drawn back in an even messier bun. Loki pokes his shoulder. 

“Librarian, it is Prince Loki,” Loki continues to poke the man-the Librarian- into consciousness. He sits up, rubs his eyes beneath his spectacles, and smiles largely at Loki. 

“Why hello, my prince! It has been a long time, no? What are you in for? We’ve gotten a few new additions in the years you’ve been absent…” His voice is accented somehow, not in the Asgardian way of Frigga and the waitstaff, but in a way that seems older. Not gruff, but wiser like a well paved sidewalk. While you are musing over this, Loki hands the Librarian the slip of paper that Frigga had given him. Underneath his glasses, Librarian seems even more surprised. He finally looks to you. You give him a friendly little wave. 

“My stars… a Dark Fae. A Dark Fae has returned to Asgard! Incredible! Oh, my lady, you are quite the beautiful specimen of your kind. Your horns are the mark of great power, you know,” the Librarian says excitedly, bouncing about. Loki growls. “And you’ve ensnared the dark horse of the royal family, no less! Simply astounding,” 

“What do you mean, ‘returned’? Are Fae from Asgard?” 

“You don’t even know your own origins? What have your parents taught you?”

“Oh, I’m an orphan. I don’t have parents,” you say sheepishly. The Librarian blubbers for a moment before figuring out what to say next.

“Well, this note makes plenty of sense then! I must retrieve the histories at once! But before I do…” he looks to you and Loki with a very serious expression. “You must not tell the King that I show you this. I do this purely because it is your birthright, my lady, and because the Allmother allowed you entrance, my prince. Nothing more, nothing less. The history of the Fae in Asgard is not a story for the faint of heart. It may be better to forget this conversation ever happened, and continue in blissful ignorance for the rest of your days. Turn back now, as this is your final warning,” 

“I’m sorry but… I have to know. If I die not knowing who I am, how can I say that I ever lived at all?” you convey carefully, looking him right in the eyes. The Librarian nods thoughtfully. 

“As noble and clever as one would expect from a Dark Fae of such high caliber as yourself,” the Librarian says softly. He then looks to Loki. 

“Are you-” 

“I will accompany my beloved anywhere. Any burden she must carry, is one that I will share,” Loki says solemnly. You stare at him.  _ How is it that everything he says must be artful and profound? _

“Well, now that that is all in order, I must ask you to follow me,” the Librarian scuttles, because he’s so short it seems that way, through towers of books and gargantuan shelves to reach a hidden away corner. He ushers the both of you into this secretive room, and waves a hand to ignite the torches. 

The room is covered in mosaic. Mosaics depicting Dark Fae in different environments and positions. 

“The Dark Fae were here before us. Before Asgard, before the Nine Realms, before Odin himself. They were birthed of Yggdrasil, and froliced in its branches. They created nests, and families, and it made the World Tree happy. The very first of these creatures being the incredibly Phoenix, who kept then safe from the other creatures of the future Realms,” the Librarian points to the mosaic closest to the three of you, showing Fae of all colours and size nesting in the crooks of a great tree. As you watched, it appeared that the Fae would move their wings and hands in relation to each other. 

“Eventually, they outgrew the World Tree, and wished for a different place to call home. They wanted different environments, as some were suited to different weather. So the World Tree opened gateways to different realms and allowed its children to go free into realms of its own creation. They adapted into different sects of Fae, for each environment they resided in… as you see here,” Librarian gestures to another mosaic, this one showing a different Fae for each of the realms. You don’t know all Nine well, but you certainly recognize Jotunheim and you gawk at the snow white wings that the Fae there sports.  _ Very tasteful _ , you think to yourself, as if you were shopping for dresses and not looking at an ancient ancestor. 

“Of course, the ones that are of most interest to you are the Asgardian Dark Fae. They took up a nest here, and created their own Moors. The Moors existed long before Early Asgardians ever populated it, and when they did with their many kingdoms they ended up being respectful and kind to the Fae. They honored them, recognizing that they were superior in age, knowledge and magic. At that time, the Fae would live for ages longer than Asgardians and simply… saw more. And they loved their neighbors: many Asgardians would end up courting Fae, and many Fae would end up taking up a mate in a Asgardian. Peace was abundant, at least, between the Fae and Early Asgardians. The Dark Fae gave the Asgardian many gifts: a source of longevity so they would not have to separate after death, the lessons of great magic, and shared their Moors sweetly.” The mosaic here showed Fae and Asgardian together, some in a lovers embrace and others shaking hands, and still others learning and laughing together.

“They were the most beautiful creatures. Powerful, too. They stayed kind and generous as Asgard, the Asgard we know today, was constructed. One kingdom to unite all of the smaller ones, that exchanged often with the Fae. It was that power, the power they still held over Asgard, that prompted a young hungry prince to begin his tirade against them. He would take magic from them, more than his fair share, and used Asgardian Iron distilled into their water to decrease their lifespans. The Asgardains who had been in close quarters with the Fae, especially those who had loved ones there, watched with horror as they died before their eyes.” 

You squeeze Loki’s hand. The mosaic here is terrifying: Fae withering away in the hands of their half children and lovers, the brilliant light that had been gracing them before fading away as they shifted into trees. Loki makes an unhappy noise deep in his throat, watching all of your ancestors die in the arms of people just like him. 

“And then, at the worst possible time, the prince’s father passed away and he came into power. He declared war on the Fae, pinning them for the issues that plagued the kingdom. The fae were innocent and attempted to fix everything the way they always had: with love and understanding, but it was exactly the wrong thing to do. The king fired iron bombs into the moors, killing hundreds. It was then, that the more violent Fae took control. They came back with everything they had: Nature rebelled with them, their powers at full capacity. Even with the Phoenix on their side… they were for the most part captured or killed, with only a minimal amount of Fae escaping with the help of some Asgardian lovers and friends. The other Asgardians who sided with their loved ones and were still captured were forced to recant their relations or be executed. Then he trekked across the Nine Realms, slaughtering all of them with his executioner at his side. Took control of everything,” if the scene he paints isn’t visual enough, there’s a mosaic. First screaming Fae, then them fighting, then them being led away in chains that are locked about the neck and their hands. 

“That king changed the narrative so very quickly. It was insanity, how easy it was: he burned the books that listed the help of the Fae over history. Forbid people to write of it. It was horrifyingly easy, in the eyes of those who remembered, to convince the people that the Dark Fae were a pest and must be ‘exterminated’. He developed this program… that would try and turn the Fae into Asgardians. To cleanse them. Those Fae who were locked up, they were his test subjects. He’d send someone to knock them out, and then cut their wings off with an iron knife. If they didn’t die immediately, or kill themselves, he’d move forward on shearing off their horns. And then, and only then, would they be free. It was a restricted freedom, though: they were always seen as ‘other’... as roaches. And for a Fae, to lose your wings…” 

“I don’t think I could live with myself,” you whisper, pulling your wings in tightly as if to protect them. Loki nuzzles your head lightly, as if to say, ‘ _ I won’t let them hurt you _ ’. 

“We don’t have a picture of this one. As a witness… I wish I didn’t even have a memory of that in my head. Us Asgardians, my dear, would like to believe that we are past those dark times. That we would never stoop that low again. But, this goes against that thinking. It’s not as past as you’d like to think. After all, the king who did that to all of those people… to my mate,” the Librarian seems to get choked up, and looks away for a moment before readjusting his glasses and taking a deep breath. He must have been one of the Asgardians who fell in love with the Fae. 

“I’m really sorry for your loss. Were they nice?” 

“He was the most magnificent creature to ever walk this place,” the Librarian says blatantly, the candle-lit warmth that was present in his voice before gone cold at the mention of what was surely an atrocity to watch. Loki’s hand finds yours, and squeezes it tightly. It doesn’t take a genius to understand that this is close, way too close, to the situation you have with Loki. Or to get the fact that the man is already frightened of losing you and this is most definitely not helping. You lean into him, pressing your shoulders together to remind him,  _ I’m here _ . Loki rubs his thumb on your hand. 

The Librarian adjusts his glasses, clears his throat. 

“I apologize. I am not supposed to be putting my own ideals into this. Purely historical, and all that. Either way, if you’d follow me-” The Librarian leads the two of you down the hall, and presses his small worn hands into the seemingly normal wall. To your delight and surprise, it presses open into a secret passage that he then scurries down. The walls are candlelit, and there is a distant end in sight. 

“Librarian, where are we going? I am unfamiliar with this portion of the palace,” Loki says confusedly.  _ Even the God of Mischief doesn’t know about this. Just goes to show you how much that king had buried this knowledge. He didn’t want anybody to know about the scope of his atrocities. Terrifying.  _

“The only other room in the palace that demonstrates this time in our history. Though I have told you much, it is another thing entirely to see it,” 

“I think hearing about it is enough, isn’t it? It’s already highly uncomfortable-” 

“My prince- if you think that learning about something is going to change anything then you are still just a boy. You have learnt nothing at all: history is written imperfectly. Firsthand accounts are unreliable. To truly understand, you would need to go back in time and make opinions for yourself. We cannot do that. We must settle for reliving the pieces we can: perhaps then, we can understand it. In any protest, in any battle, people who stand by and read about it in the papers are doing nothing but that. Only can you see when you are a part of it. You wouldn’t claim that you understood how Odin took over the Nine Realms unless you believe you’ve read about it fully… but words are infinitesimal alongside the pictures. And pictures are rendered useless by experiences. That is how history works: that is our folly as bookkeepers. We keep books, we keep words- experiences aren’t something that can be perfectly encaptured in a page,” the Librarian explains. The words swirl around in your mind- their truth is undeniable, and it hurts to think of it that way. As someone who reads yourself, it prompts the question: books are constantly changing, the meaning of words changing as well. How are we supposed to determine history without words, and how can we understand it fully with them either? It’s a dilemma, an impossible problem, and how are you supposed to to answer something like that. 

“Learning that something exists is the first step to experiencing it. That's why words matter: you learn, yes, but you’re also learning  _ of _ things. Experiences are better than pictures, and pictures are better than words, but experiences are the things that make words and make them mean something,” you philosophically answer. The Librarian turns and smiles at you with his hand on the door. 

“Very wise, young Fae,” the door begins to creak open, “and now it would be wise to prepare yourself for what you’re about to see,” 

At his instruction, you pull in closer still to Loki. He makes an affirmative noise, bracing himself to protect you from threats whether they are frightening or violent or anything else. 

The room the Librarian has guided you to is tall, a ceiling many feet above your heads. 

And, it is covered floor to that very far away ceiling with Dark Fae wings encased in glass. They are all different colours: some as white as snow, some like desert sand, others just like yours. It’s horrifying and so very disturbing. It could very easily be yours up there. 

“How did this not kill them? How…” you breathe. Loki makes a barely audible whimper at the perhaps hundreds of pined wings. 

“Asgardian irons. Built into a dagger, they hacked off the wings right off their backs,” the Librarian tells solemnly. You reach up, morbidly curious, to splay your hand on the glass of one of the cases. 

Shockingly, the wings give a frantic little flutter in the case and slam against the glass. You startle and fall backwards. Loki is there instantly, pulling you into his chest and snarling softly at the cases. If he was a cat, his ears would be flattened to his head. 

“Wha- they’re alive??” you shout in fear.  _ How in the world is that possible? These are  _ **_ancient_ ** . 

“Not really. As you probably know, or rather feel, Fae wings are very special in the way they work. When separated from the body, they can both eventually reattach and also survive on their own. Broken, only half of a whole… but still striving to join their counterparts. The wings will struggle on forever until they are burned away just like the rest of their bodies,” 

“How terrible…” you murmur. 

“I’d burn down the whole planet before that could ever happen to you, my sweet,” Loki assures you, though it isn’t as comforting as you’d hoped it would be. On your back, your mirror the movements of the wings in the case with your own. Holding them up beside each other proves that yes, they are so different… but you can see the similarities. They’re built in approximately the same fashion: the same horned edge, long flight feathers, clearly at one point groomed with a hand. Yours are smaller though: whether from the fact that the owner of this pair was larger than you or a hereditary thing is anyone's guess. You press your hand to the glass. 

“Can’t I free them? I want to free them. They don’t belong here, much less trapped inside a case,” you insist. The wings flutter in an almost tittery way, and you smile. 

“I’m afraid not. This is a sort of… trophy room. It would be equivalent to historical destruction if we were to decimate it,” the Librarian carefully alludes. 

“I’ll destroy it,” Loki offers, “I’ll take the punishment. I don’t care what they do to me. I’ve experienced worse,” 

“Loki-” you start, only to be cut off by the Librarian. 

“My prince, though certainly an macrabe idea, I must voice my disagreement here. If only because the AllFather will understand that you did it for your beloved Fae and not for yourself and therefore punish her instead of yourself,” Loki tenses, his jaw tightening.

“No.” 

“I’m afraid so,” the stout man sighs. 

“It’s okay, I guess… we’ll get there someday. Maybe we’ll pin it on Thor, right?” you grin at Loki, attempting to to rouse some sort of cheer in him. This whole day started out with cuddles and kisses and has very quickly gone downhill. 

“Now that you have seen this, I must bring you to one other place. The grave of the last remaining Fae,” the Librarian looks at you shrewdly. 

“But when Fae die they-” 

“Turn into trees. Yes,” 

“I can talk with-” 

“This is why we went here and to learn the history first. I cannot communicate with Maleficent, but I presume that you can. You, knowing how things had gone, can now uncover the missing pieces. For one, why you exist today,” 

“There is a Fae tree in Asgard?” Loki affirms. 

“Only one… the king had destroyed the rest of them. Maleficent gave her life to protect her people, in the end, and it was told that she was the last descendant of the original Fae: the Phoenix,” while he talks, the Librarian exits this horrific ‘Trophy Room’ and begins to lead you both through the seemingly endless hallways of the palace. _This is going to change everything._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns!


	38. 3-21.5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you meet the Mistress of All Evil, who seems nothing of the sort.

“If she was a Phoenix, why did she die? Phoenixes, by their nature, cannot die: they rise from the ashes, do they not?” Loki questions, his hand returning to clasp yours. It’s as if he doesn’t want you to get lost, as if he’s nervous about that sort of thing now. 

It makes you wonder: how many things will change because of this dreary day. Will Loki be even more possessive? Less present? Worried? Try to distance himself? 

You grip his hand. 

“Well, she hasn’t died, per se. She lives quite lively in that tree of hers: sentient and remembering. Just… had been beaten to a point where her soul simply gave up,” 

“So she could physically no longer rise from the ashes because spiritually she was finished?” Loki asks, as you break out of the castle behind the Librarian and into the gardens. The fresh air is welcome, and the warm sun lifts your spirits easily. The smells from the garden are rich and flavorful, relaxing the tension that has steadily overcome your body. 

“It’s so nice out here,” you whisper to Loki. Even he can’t help but smile. 

“Yes, it is, isn’t it…” 

“That was frightening, back there,” 

“Do you want to be done for the day? We can go back to our room, and… erm, ‘snuggle’,” he blushes at the informality of the word. 

“Nah, it’s alright. You’ll protect me, right minou?” you bump his shoulder playfully. He pulls you in so that he can nuzzle your head. 

“That’s right. I will always, always, protect you. With every fiber of my life,” he assures you. The Librarian stops in front of a large hedge.

“Now, you must go through to see her. I’d say under normal circumstances that it should be just the Fae but-” 

“I go with her. No questions, no other options. It is set in stone. I. go. With-” 

“Yes yes, I assumed as such. Let’s hope she doesn’t strangle you. Well, go on. I won’t be here when you come back out, as to remain inconspicuous. I hope she provides some sort of clarity to you and your history besides the dreary stories I had pressed upon you,” you’re about to walk in before the Librarian stops you. 

“I have just… realized there is one more thing I must say. And it is not something very tasteful or uplifting either…” 

“I do not know if I can handle more bad news right now, Librarian,” Loki grumbles. You take a deep breath and look at the short man.    


“Let me have it. I can handle it,” you steel yourself for something absolutely horrible. What is it? Asgard is dying? Frigga is secretly a world ravaging monster? You’re actually just a giant killer bee? 

“That wicked king I mentioned… he is still alive,"

“Tell me who, so that I may slay him for these crimes he’s committed against such a peaceful and beautiful race,” Loki growls, the hair on his arms raising dangerously. You tap his shoulder. 

“We’ve been over this, mon minou: people change. Just like me, just like you,” the reminder isn’t appreciated that much… but accepted nonetheless. 

“That king is Odin Allfather,” 

And the whole area drops about 15 degrees. Loki’s crackling with green hued energy and rolling rage. It hisses against your skin dangerously, like you touched the side of a pan on the stove. You yelp, and Loki halts immediately. He takes your hand and brings it to his lips in retribution. 

“I’m sorry, my love. I’m sorry,” he takes a deep breath to regulate himself, resting his cheek in your hand to relax. He closes his eyes, kissing the palm of your hand. “I’m trying to hold back from killing the king. I’m trying, I’m trying. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I don’t want you to hurt. I just… I can’t help myself from biting out about this. To imagine that that bastard could do something so despicable… I’m sorry, are you alright darling?” 

“It’s alright… only stung a little. But you know, that was thousands of years ago! He’s probably completely changed his ways… treating people like me as vermin that needs to be exterminated is so far in his past that he can’t even remember,” you’re trying to make the most of this situation. First Odin lies to Loki his whole life, abandons him… and now you’ve learnt that he’d been monstrous to your people as well. Hopefully Maleficent will have some good news to share. You brush Loki’s arm. “Let’s go, then. Things will get better, they always do,” 

Loki hums and then follows your lead into the hedge. The two of you then burst into a secretive garden: it’s the idyllic Secret Garden type with lots of flowering plants and water features. And in the very center of it there is a huge tree. 

The bark is ebony, the sharp branches reaching up to touch the sky. A truly beautiful specimen of nature, humming with incredible powerful energy. No one could mistake this for a normal tree. It is, very obviously, the remains of one of the most powerful Fae in all of history. 

“Minou-” 

“I will stay on the sidelines, sweet. You go,” he acknowledges kindly. 

“What did I do to deserve such a lovely fantastic man in my life?” you smile at him widely, wrapping your arms around his waist and reaching up for a kiss. He chuckles. 

“By being the most incredible person I’ve ever met. Whatever happens, no matter what, I will still love you. Because you are, truly, the only one for me,” he croons sweetly, kissing your forehead. 

_ No matter how bad the past might be, no matter how scared I could be, no matter how horrible people are… Loki loves me.  _

“Thanks, Loki-Love. I needed to hear something just like that. You’re the best,” 

“Glad to be of service, love,” with Loki looking after you carefully and protectively as you approach the enchanting black tree. You press your hand to its elegant bark, pressing the grooves with the pads of your fingers. 

Talking to nature isn’t really ‘talking’. It’s a connection, it’s emotions and knowledge passing down a bridge. This is completely different. You initiate the bond and there’s an immediate response. 

“Hello, young one,” it says, the voice like a low purr that reminds you so much of Lady Loki you balk for a moment. You glance back towards Loki: is she speaking out loud? Can he hear it?

“I see you do not have experience with your own kind. Pity,” she tuts. How does a tree tut? 

“Yeah… I think you’re the first one I’ve ever met, actually,” you awkwardly answer, keeping the voice in your head. 

“How the mighty have fallen, truly. You come seeking my knowledge and experience, yes?” 

“Erm… introductions first? This is something I never could have seen coming… I should at least know your name,” 

“Didn’t that little man tell you? I am Maleficent. The last Phoenix, the one who was supposed to protect us. I failed you and our race, little one, thousands of years ago,” 

“What did you look like?” 

She sends an image straight to your mind: she looks like a raging powerful woman, gorgeous and sharp. Sort of like Lady Loki, but different still. Lady Loki's more serpentine and sultry, Maleficent is blade-like in a different fashion. 

“Wow, you’re beautiful! Your horns were so elegant!” 

“Hah, thank you, little one. And you…?” 

You introduce yourself giddily, excited to meet such an icon of your species. You find the conversation flowing easily, talking of Asgard and Earth, of kings and adopted godchildren. 

“I have a question about the Fae… if they were all killed by Odin, then how do I exist? How am I here?” 

“That is a great secret. A sensational one. You must not tell the kingdom of it: for if you do, I fear there will only be more bloodshed. Do you adhere to these terms?” 

“Well…” you look to Loki, who is reading by some plants, contently waiting for you. “Can I tell my mate?” 

“I presume, if you must,” she sighs. 

“Did you have a mate?” 

“That is between me and him… curb your curiosity if you wish to hear,”

You nod. Despite the incessant voice in your head urging you to push it, you let it go and wait for the story to unfold. 

“The reason you are alive, the reason you were able to even be born, was due to this fantastic secret. One that the people here, if you could even call them that, if they were to find out could end many innocent lives. You must promise not to tell,” Maleficent insists. 

“Alright. No one but my mate,” 

“If you must. Now, the thing is… they didn’t catch all the Fae. They found the last of them, hiding in my Moors… I died protecting them. The very last of the Dark Fae… children and adults of all different colourings and lives. Their Asgardian families and lovers, friends… they protected us. I released the very last bit of my power to grant them escape. They created portals… just like you can, my dear… and escaped with no place in mind, no location that I know of. There were only 34 of us left… random in everything but species.” 

“So where are they? 34 is a lot… they could still be alive somewhere! I could meet them! Not that you aren’t amazing to meet, you are but-” 

“I am not what you expected. Not the form you wanted to see,” Maleficent agrees, her voice coming out in your head melancholy. You wrap your arms around the trunk of the tree. 

“Yeah, but this is still more than I ever thought I’d know. So, thank you. Thank you so much. Now I have some sort of lead,” you murmur. Maleficent chuckles, and her branches bend slightly to embrace you delicately. 

“I am happy to provide you with something, my child. I only wish I could help more... but truly, no one in all of the nature on this planet know of where they end up. I presume you must have to discover that bit of this hunt yourself. I loathe how I lack so,” 

“You were great,” you smile into the bark, then pull back. Loki looks up from his book, and calls out to you. 

“My love, I am sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we must be on our way. There is very little time before dinner, and I believe there is a ball this eve,” he closes the book, magics it away into a pocket dimension. 

“You must return to your mate, little one. Do come back, and tell me your story,” Maleficent says, then returns to her stoic persona as a tree. You brush the bark with your hand and then skip into Loki’s arms. He grins, kissing your head, and holds you close.

“Well? What did you learn, my sweetling, that makes you smile this way?” 

“Maleficent says that some survived and escaped. She doesn’t know where they ended up, just that they did. And I’m probably descended from them,” 

“That’s fantastic news! I will, of course, help you track those down those people,” 

“Mon minou... maybe I have parents! Maybe I’ll meet my parents!” Loki smiles, small and sweet and hugs you even closer to his chest. 

“Maybe, darling. If I can help it, you’ll meet your parents,” he coos, kissing your temple and relishing in the giggles that follow, “But we really must get ready for that ball,” 

“What do I need to do? Dress, right?” 

“Yes, there is a dress for you. Asgardian style, my colours. Asleif will help you with that, I believe,” 

“What about you?” you look up at him, mooney eyed. 

“I think I want to be surprised once again with your beauty, my love. It will be a lovely little game of sorts, some harmless fun,” 

~~~~~

The dress, to say the least, is a work of beauty. A masterpiece, fit for a princess. Same relative style as the one Frigga had been wearing last time you saw her, but different still. Silks connected from your shoulders to your elbows to nearly touching the ground. It accentuates everything you want accentuated and hides everything you don’t want on display. And, of course, all gold and green with black accents. Your wings are on display, but held tucked in so that they don't bump into anyone. The necklace Loki had given you nearly a year ago plucked out of your luggage and placed upon your neck. 

Your hair is done up in traditional Asgardian style, your makeup impeccable with the gold dust on your cheekbones. Aslief had done it all herself, which seemed ridiculous at the beginning, but the ending speaks for itself. Clearly, her day off had improved her mood exponentially, and was talking and joking with you all the while. 

Aslief giggles as she adds the final touches: a headband that is heavily reminiscent of Loki’s. The way it settles on your head makes it seem as if your own natural horns are coming out of the headband like Loki’s fake ones do. You check it out in the full length mirror excitedly. 

“Miss, give me a turn!” she cheers. You oblige her, twirling about. The fabrics are soft and beautiful. You  _ feel  _ beautiful. 

“I think I’m ready. I’m ready, right? You think that Loki will like it?” Aslief packs up some of the makeup into a wicker basket, chuckling. 

“Miss, if I may, I have to say that you could show up to the ball wearing my uniform and he’d still love it,” you flush immediately. 

“Awe, Asleif, you’re too sweet!”   


“I hope that I find someone like that one day,” she hums, fixing a stray pin. 

“I’m sure you will! You have so many redeeming qualities,” you assure her, lifting an arm so that she can adjust a claps. 

“Ha, not like you, my lady,” 

“Come now, that’s ridiculous,” 

“No, honest! You’re very beautiful, and so kind… you’re like a shooting star! Bright and shiny and perfect,” Aslief flatters. 

“No way! Everyone has faults and imperfections. For me, sometimes I jump to conclusions. I’m sensitive, sometimes overly so. I accept everyone, even if it’s not right to. Loki calls it ‘bleeding heart’, but I think it’s just helping others too much. I get lonely easily, and can get really sad sometimes. It's something common on Midgard, and they have ways to help people live with it, but it's really different for everybody and I haven't found something that works for me yet. I’m far from perfect. Everyone is! For you, you’re smart, and brave, and quite pretty yourself,” you grin at her. Aslief hides her face behind her hands as if that would hide her blush. Elbowing her, you remind her that there’s a ball to get to. “If I’m at the ball, where do you go?” 

“Ah… presumably to the maid quarters. Or the waiting rooms, to be called up,” she thinks aloud, thoughtfully tapping her lip. 

“Have you ever been to a ball?” Aslief flushes deeply, shying away and ducking her head. 

“No, miss. I have no right to,” 

“Come on, don’t say that! You grew up here, you have every right,” you insist, gripping her hands. She blushes even more. 

“N-no miss, I think I know what you’re thinking and it’s not a good idea,” 

“Why don’t you come with me? It would be so much more fun with you there! Come on, come on,” you playfully push, jumping up and down slightly. She gives you a serious look. 

“My lady, I appreciate and applaud your generosity once again, but this time I strongly advise against it. Not out of distaste but rather because I fear for you. Dark Fae don’t have the best rap in my culture… I don’t think it would help your image much to bring me along. Or your beloved for that matter,” Aslief reminds you. You think about it for a moment, then pout jokingly. 

“Fiiine. Next ball, then?” 

“If my lady wishes it,” and with that, you allow Aslief to lead you to the ballroom. The hallways are gilded with gold, high ceilinged… and though you’ve already been here a day, it’s just as new as the first time you walked down it. Despite knowing full well that there were horrible horrible atrocities committed here, somehow it feels impossible. How can such a beautiful place harbor such horrid secrets?  _ It’s not the place,  _ you remind yourself,  _ it’s the people who occupied it. _

“Aslief, are we almost there?” 

“Just about there, miss,” Aslief shyly looks up at you, giggling slightly, “You’re so excited I can feel it.” Whether that’s from your powers influencing her or just your general excitement rubbing off. 

“Oh! Sorry. I guess I am… I’ve just started going to parties, and now I’m going to a ball! Insanity,” you breathe deeply, making sure that it’s purely emotions and not ability. It’s not, thankfully. You’re getting really good at not using your powers on people: control is something that was once an impossible thing, but is now easy. Is it Loki, or is it his gifts, or is it something else entirely? Perhaps just the knowledge that you’re descended from someone spectacular like Maleficent is enough to pride yourself that you can handle your own magics. 

“Here is where I leave you, miss. Have a good time,” Aslief encourages, gesturing towards a pair of grand doors. There is a pair of guards in front of it, regarding you not with hostility but not exactly friendly either. You wrap your arms around Aslief, surprising her with a hug that it takes a second for her to return. 

“Thank you, Aslief. You’re a really good friend,” 

“O-oh. That is… very kind of you to say, my lady,” she stutters, and you release her to go do what she must with a wave. And then, into the ballroom you go. 

It’s huge. The biggest room you’ve ever been in, with the exception of the library. Gold vaulted ceilings, beautiful live music,  _ hundreds _ of patrons in elegants dresses… you try to remain inconspicuous, as the literal  _ hundreds _ of people here is nothing short of terrifying. 

Though as you attempt to skirt around the side of the room, people notice: it’s hard not to, with your horns and wings. Nothing short of erasing them with illusions could make you not stand out in a crowd. You scan the masses of people for Loki, but there are simply too many people. You’re going to either have to wait for him to find you, or fruitlessly move about attempting to find him with magic.  _ This was a bad idea.  _

“Why hello there, beauty. I don’t believe I’ve seen you before,” a blond-haired man approaches you. He carries an aura of ‘hey ladies’, and is so thickly flirtatious as he approaches you and lifts your hand to kiss it that you can easily assume that this man is Fandral. 

“Hello! You’re Fandral, right?” 

“Ah, I see that you have already heard of my epics. All good things, I hope?” Fandral laughs merrily, tossing his head back multiple times like a prancing horse. You can’t help but giggle: not because it’s attractive, but because he looks like an idiot. He, of course, takes it as interest. 

“So what Realm do you hail from? Those horns yours, beautiful?” he flirts, leaning in close. You wave your hands in front of your face. 

“Hey, sorry, but I’m taken,” 

“Mhmm, I don’t see a ring, pretty face. Either way, this guy shouldn’t leave someone as gorgeous as you wandering about without him… I’d spend every dance with you on my arm,” 

“Trust me, you’re not going to want to try that,” you imply heavily. Perhaps you should push him away more? Maybe you won’t… just because you’re playing with your food here.  _ Does this make me a sociopath? If I know by not directly declining Fandral’s proposals I’m asking Loki to beat the shit out of him?  _ Is this what Loki does all the time, with his playful little words pushing people to do exactly what he wants? Manipulating, in a joking way at the very least, is just a bit entertaining. 

“Oh dearheart, I doubt it. I’m one of the Warriors Three, you know… I could best any stuffy suitor of yours, just say the word,” Fandral purrs. You notice, thankfully, that Loki’s horns pop up a little ways away. He’s tall enough that you can just see his face above the crowd, and close enough for him to hear easily. 

“Ah, that won’t be necessary. Here he comes now! Loki~” you shout. Loki turns, his eyes lighting up with a delightful warmth upon seeing you. Instead of walking over, he simply teleports to embrace you. 

“You look positively ravishing, darling,” he says into your ear, thick like honey. He’s absolutely gorgeous in his outfit: the tall golden horns, long green cape attached to the gold chest piece, it all looks fit for the most royal prince. 

“Thanks, minou, You look great too! I was just talking to Fandral over here,” Fandral waves meekly at Loki’s immediate harsh glare, “And he made the most kind offer that he’d steal me away from whoever was courting me if I didn’t like them. Oh, and that he’d best them in a duel any day. Right, Fandral?” 

The honest to god terrified look on Fandral’s face perfectly encaptured the words ‘Oh shit’. You laugh, running your hand up Loki’s arm and resting your head on his shoulder. 

“Is that right? You wish to duel me for my lady’s hand?” Loki says. It would sound placid for him, if not for the smile like a shark. 

“N-no,” 

“Ah, glad to hear it. It would be just  _ such a shame _ if I disemboweled you,” Loki tuts, leaning against you happily, “And either way, we’re both quite happy, thank you very much.” 

“I see… Well, I’m off to find Vostagg at the banquet tables, ta ta, good day, heh,” Fandral very quickly scampers off, not quite believing that Loki wouldn’t kill him either way. 

“Now that that’s out of the way, I must say, darling, that you truly are an angelic sight,” Loki compliments, touching the fine fabrics of the dress you wear, “And I do like the headband, was that your idea or Aslief’s?” 

“Aslief, I think. She’s very clever,” 

“I see. I must thank her later,” he kisses your hand. You look at him expectantly, waiting for the next part of the sentence. Instead, he brushes back a stray hair and sighs. “How did I end up so lucky? You’re absolutely lovely tonight, and I have half a mind to simply leave now, fall to my knees and pray to you,” 

_ There it is. The poetic romantic prose that spills from that damned silver tongue all too easily.  _

“It would be a shame to take this off after how long it took to put on, and we haven’t even danced yet… perhaps I should ask Fandral?” You know you’re pushing his buttons, but apparently that’s the game tonight. You boop his nose to tell him you didn’t mean it. Crosseyed Loki. “I bet he’s a shit dancer anyways. I only want to dance with you,” 

“Let’s go on then, hmm?” Loki then bends at the waist, extending his hand, “May I have this dance, my beloved?” 

“Was waiting for you to ask, mon minou,” 

With that, Loki pulls you towards the dance floor and into an elegant waltz to the current song. As one hand holds yours and the other holds your waist, you can’t help but smile. 

“What makes you so happy, my dear?” Loki smiles back, in that heartsick way of his that's reserved for you. Gives you some sense of pride. 

“I was just thinking that the first time we kissed and… all that, it was at a dance. Just like this, you know? And I was nervous, and you were there, and you were looking just as pretty. Remember that?” he spins you slowly in his arms, gently, and then continues leading. 

“How could I not? My whole life changed that day: I was allowed to love freely the one I’ve pined after for so long,” 

“And the sex was good,” you wink at him flirtatously. 

“Are you asking for something, darling? Is this a cry for help? Have I not sated you enough?” Loki smirks, pulling you into his chest as the music continues flowing overhead. 

“Nope, just mentioning that I wouldn’t be against recreating that,” 

“Aha, I see,” he chuckles. The music finally ebbs to nothing, and for the first time, you see Odin Allfather. He’s big and intimidating and the eyepatch doesn’t make him look approachable at all. Something about how he looks into you, like staring into your soul frostily and deeming it unworthy, makes it nearly paralyzing. Two ravens fly overhead, his staff large at his side. Unconsciously, you skirt closer to Loki just in case, even as you curtsy (you’ve practiced with Aslief). 

“Do not be nervous, my love. I’ll protect you,” Loki assures you, even after you’ve gone back to dancing. But, as you look up at the formidable man sitting on the throne and he looks back at you with a deep frown, you can’t help but feel frightened. Would he try that conversion therapy bit on you and chop your wings? Try to separate you from Loki and lock you away? 

Loki is powerful, a very powerful man, but Odin is  _ the  _ powerful man. His father, nonetheless. If push comes to shove, will he be able to stand against him? 

Cool hands on your face. 

“Hey, hey, my love. I can feel your terror. Do not worry, please. Come now, let’s leave this place,” Loki consoles, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

“No, we can stay if you want. Don’t worry about me, please,” 

“It is my job to worry about you,” he insists, pulling you out of the dance floor to investigate your face further. 

“Odin’s scary,” you whisper to him, hiding your face in his shoulder embarrassedly. 

“What?” 

“I just… I didn’t expect him to look that way. I expected him to be just another person. I can deal with just another person. But he… he looks like he’d kill me,” 

“Oh, darling… he won’t lay a hand on you. I’ve made sure of it. No one will lay a finger on your beautiful body but me and those you wish to. Okay?” 

“Alright,” you sniffle. He bends to help you wipe your eyes, tickling your skin on the way with little butterfly kisses that make you smile. 

“There’s my sunshine. My sweet girl,” Loki sighs blissfully, running his fingers through the ends of your hair. You hum in contentment, more sure than ever that the safest you’ll ever be is in Loki’s arms. “Would you like to get out of here? We’ve been here long enough to make some sort of impression, and it’s not like anyone was looking forward to meeting me,” 

“I’m sure there has to be someone…” you tell him, absolutely resolute that there are some people who wanted to see the Trickster God again. 

“People saw me as more of a… passing amusement to laugh at my tricks or gawk at the magics then to actually interact with me lest they become the subject of my next prank. Since I came into my own power a bit more after my youth, I attempted to immerse myself in the politics to prepare to be some sort of king as Thor had said he didn’t want it… obviously a fruitless endeavor but nonetheless helpful. I was good at it too, I'd think... rightfully wise and a solid sense of judgement. Even with that... all that maneuvering that I did, I don’t think anyone would wish to speak with me either in fear that I may ruin their lives somewhat by unearthing secrets. Especially now, when I have done such reckless and heinous acts to be associated with me is no easy task,” Loki explains thoughtfully. You look around. 

“It's not your fault those things happened, remember? The Mind Stone, and all of the horrid things Thanos did. Despite that, surely, someone…” 

The crowd ignores Loki like he is not there at all. It’s heartbreaking. These are supposed to be  _ his  _ people. He grew up with these guys. 

“If Thor were here, they’d talk to him and you, wouldn’t they? Out of a courtesy to him. Or if Frigga told them to,” you guess. 

“Presumably,” 

“That fucking sucks, man,” you exasperate. Loki inclines his head, taking your hand and tucking it under his helmet to cup his cheek. 

“You’re the only one who even remotely likes me anymore,” he whispers, eyelashes fluttering. 

Brushing your fingers on his cheek, you disagree, “Loki, I know that’s not true. You’re lying to yourself, love. I know I’m not the only one who adores you… you’re so wonderful. Don’t wear yourself down like that.” Loki whimpers slightly, and bends down to kiss you chastely. 

“Thank you, my love,” he murmurs, “I try to be good for you. I’m trying,”

“You’re doing so well, minou,” you glance over his tall shoulder and see four people walking over. “Look at that, some people are walking over now. There’s people who like you!”

“It’s probably just-” 

“Hello, fair maiden! I have returned with my compatriots in tow! They all wish to meet you!” It’s in fact Fandral, a large man with a beard who you assume is Volstagg, a man with a very creative beard and serene expression that you must guess is Hogun, and a woman dressed in armour that you believe is Lady Sif. 

“Um, hello! I’m-” 

“We know who you are! Ha, all of us were thinking quite hard on what kind of person you’d be… our Loki certainly has had odd tastes,” Volstagg claps Loki on the back, to which he looks murderous. 

“Don’t crowd her,” Sif sighs, before extending a hand to you. You take it, shaking it happily. 

“Thank you, Sif,” 

“I see you’ve heard of us,” Hogun tilts his head intuitively, “All good things, I hope, from the little Trickster?” 

“Yeah! Yeah, of course. Loki told me everything,” 

“Everything?” Hogun presses, unsure. You meet his eyes steely. 

“Everything,” you reply, eyes boring into him. Fandral clears his throat. 

“How did you two meet?” he asks conversationally. You smile immediately, glad to not have to be cold to these new people. Loki, at the very least, seems to bottle up his sadness and is able to smile and respond to the questions. You interrupt with perhaps your favorite part of the story: 

“He was a cat! A very cute precious little baby cat,” you poke Loki’s cheek, to which he frowns. 

All four of the people’s eyes go wide and laugh. Loki rolls his eyes. You clap your hands together conspiratory: this is going to be fun. 

~~~~~ 

Later, you’re delightfully tipsy, hanging off of Loki’s arm as you walk back to the room. After the terrifying moment of Odin’s glare and Loki’s depression, you thought you’d have to leave to have any sort of a good time, but the Warriors Three and Sif were more than accommodating. Volstagg wore on you until you finally gave in to having some watered down mead (Loki made sure that you wouldn’t end up blackout drunk with the powerful mead), Sif offered to give you training with the naginata, Hogun regaled you with tales of Loki’s childhood, and Fandral continued to be, well, Fandral. 

“That was fun, Loki-Love,” 

“I’m glad you found it enjoyable, my love. There is so much more I wish to show you in the coming days,” he chuckles, opening the door to your shared rooms and helping you inside. Then, as if he knows that you don’t want to spend the time to redress, he magically shifts you both into sleepwear. 

“Time for bed?” 

“Yes, time for bed. It is quite late, my dearest,” he smiles, hoisting you into his arms marriage style once again and placing you in the bed before himself. 

“No sex?” 

“Sweetling, you’re just a bit drunk, and I want you to remember every bit of whatever we would end up doing. Let’s save it for another time, hmm?” He brushes a stray hair behind your ear lovingly. You can’t manage to be disappointed at all. 

“You’re really great, you know that? I’m so lucky,” 

“I am difficult, and odd, and complicated… I am the one with all of the luck, darling,” Loki sighs, pulling up the sheets over the two of you. You take to him immediately, snuggling in closer to his cool chest. He places his head between your horns, and you wrap your wings around his body. The two of you fit like a puzzle.

“We’re both pretty lucky that we found someone right for us, huh?” 

“Yes… I presume so.” 

“G’night, minou,” 

“Goodnight, my love,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, questions, concerns! 
> 
> And once again, thank you for everyone's immense kindness and love over this fic! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I should still be able to update over the summer, despite the new programs that I'm participating in. It shouldn't be any issue, but I will send a heads up if there's a week that's being skipped. Thanks again!


	39. 3-22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you finally muster courage.

Loki’s already out and about by the time you wake up. At first, the empty side of the bed causes trepidation but it quickly fades as there is a feather-soft kiss placed on your temple. 

“I got us some nourishment for breakfast, my dear. How do you feel? Any bit hungover?” 

“No, actually, not at all?”  _ How is that possible?  _

“Then the spell worked. I’m glad,” Loki smiles, waving in a maid to bring the cart of breakfast food. 

“You have an anti-hangover spell?” you gawk. 

Loki looks quite satisfied with himself. Plucking an Asgardian pastry from the tray and grinning at the maid who brought it in, you sit crossed legged on the bed and rest your head on Loki’s shoulder. 

“Either way, what’s on the schedule today, mon minou?” you ask, munching on the fluffy bread. 

“I thought I’d show you around the city. There is to be a market today, and we can browse the stalls. Would you like that?” 

“Sounds fun,” you sigh. 

“You don’t sound particularly excited,” Loki grumbles, adjusting his spot on the bed to rub your back, “Is something the matter?” 

“Nothing really. I’m just happy to be here with you,” 

“Don’t you want to do something entertaining?” 

“Honestly, I don’t really mind. We’re in this beautiful place, I feel safe beside you, and I’m happy. Just sitting beside you is wonderful,” you snuggle in closer, munching on breakfast, and pull your feet into his lap and just sit completely on him. Loki seems surprised at first, but gives in easily. His head lands on your neck, and settles there. 

“Would you… like to stay? A little longer, I mean. We were going to go back at the end of the week, but you seem to be enjoying it here. With me. I’d like… I’d like to stay here, with you, a little longer,” 

“Loki…” 

“If you do not it’s okay! Now that I think about it, you probably don’t want to. All that sinister things Allfather has done to your people-” 

“Loki, I’d love to stay here longer. With you,” you smile up at him, maneuvering his head so you can pull him in for a kiss. 

“I love you, so much,” 

You’re about to say it, you really are- but of course then Aslief walks in. Loki groans. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry. Am I interrupting? I can leave…” Aslief’s eyes quickly take in you nestled in Loki’s lap and Loki’s glare. You blush and give her a tiny wave of your fingers. 

“No no no, what do you have to say that is so important it interrupted us? Please, enlighten me,” Loki hisses, wrapping his arms around you more securely. Aslief looks positively ashamed. 

“Aww, minou, don’t be like that. Yes, Aslief, what is it?” you try to untangle yourself from Loki, but he growls low in his throat and holds you even tighter.  _ Alright, alright, I’ll stay.  _

“I’m really sorry again, my prince, I was just checking up and retrieving the leftovers of breakfast. I am to tell you as well that Frigga would like to teach you some things that Loki has not taught you as yet,” 

“Oh, that sounds delightful! Did she say when?”

“As soon as possible, miss. I will take the cart now, and leave the foods that you seem to enjoy,” with that, Aslief very quickly scampers away with the cart. No one wants to remain in Loki’s death glare for that long. The moment she’s gone, Loki’s placed his lips on your neck and started to kiss up your neck. 

“Hey, I thought it was snuggle happy time,” 

“It  _ was _ . And now I want more,” he nips your earlobe. You pull on his hair, inciting a loud keen. His mouth is open wide in ecstasy. It’s almost too easy to shuffle around to the side of him and dip your fingers to his pajama pants to brush your fingers over his half hard manhood. 

***hey, sex here***

“Loki, I thought I had to go see your mother,” you tease, whilst still massaging the crotch of his pants. Loki moans loudly, biting his lip to avail to hide the noises. His hips buck weakly in desperation. In retribution, you run the other hand up his chest to squeeze a nipple. 

Loki  _ mewls _ . 

“You liked that, huh? Every inch of you is so so pretty, so absolutely delicious… and I presume I do owe you one for that bath we had a while ago,” you hum, finally navigating your fingers into his pants while still pinching his chest. Loki makes a gasping stranded-fish noise. “Do you like it when I compliment you, minou? It seems like it turns you on a lot,” 

Loki groans, a shaking hand coming to urge your hand to move. You peer at his face: flushed, mouth wide open, eyes blown and looking so hot you might just die. But first, you can tease him more, right? 

“Are you going to answer me?” instead of responding, he grabs your wrist tightly and forcibly grinds into it. You pull your hand out immediately, relishing in the high pitched whine. “Answer me, minou,” 

“Yes, yes, I like it,  _ please _ ,” Loki whimpers, glancing at you pitifully. You pet his hair, run your hand teasingly over his inner thigh, and smile benevolently. 

“You’re so good, aren’t you? The best kitten,” you coo at him before returning the hand that was running through his hair to his chest and massaging it more. Loki’s head goes lax on your shoulder. It prompts you to hum happily:  _ He’s so cute _ . 

“Mhmm…  _ please _ , more,  _ please _ ,” he’s nothing short of begging, his cock still too hard and dripping precome. 

“Alright, alright, since you asked so nicely,” you chuckle, letting your hand return to his crotch. Loki practically sobs in relief, his body stretching to get more friction. “If you stand up, I’ll take off your pants and give you a proper handjob,” 

He could not get up fast enough. Rather than doing any of it, after scrambling for a few moments Loki curses the pants and just magics them away. It’s all kinds of adorable and atthe same time humorous. But, the matter at hand speaks for itself… Loki forcibly takes your hand and affirms it to his dick. 

“Not wasting any time, I see,” you chuckle. 

“Get on with it,” he rasps.  _ His throat must be hoarse from all the lewd noises _ , you presume mildly, as you squeeze the head of his cock. It spurs Loki to double over and gasp. “That, do that again,” 

You oblige him. 

He makes a garbled moan and you take to that easily. The little masochist he is, you squeeze and rub and use your nails until Loki gives you warning. 

And you stop. He moans in dissent, but still looks like a very sensual painting himself. Sweat covers each line of his delectable chest, marks you’ve made with your mouth and nails beginning to show on his pale skin. Loki’s thighs are literally shaking. 

“More  _ please _ , darling, my love, please, just a little more, I’m almost there,” 

“Hey, remember that time on the roof of the genetics lab?” you ask conversationally. 

“ _ Why in all Hel are you talking about that right now, I’m- _ ” 

“Master,” you note happily. Loki hisses a breath through his teeth, very obviously pained from the denial of what would have proved to be a pretty fantastic orgasm. 

“What about it,” Loki snaps.

“Aww, don’t be cranky, mon minou,” 

“I could just go beat off in the shower, you know,” 

“But you won’t do that, will you, kitten?” you play into darker undertones, using deeper connotations like Loki would. Perhaps the best sign that it works is the blush that erupts onto Loki’s fair cheeks… or maybe how his cock immediately comes back to attention. 

“Watch me,” Loki attempts to seem adamant but the words are rendered ineffective from the whimpering tone that they come with. You reach over and press a hand to his thighs to force him still, another to run your pointer finger up the side of his cock. 

“You might lie like a little snake, but this right here… this can’t lie,” 

Loki’s lips turn down into a frown, a frown that immediately changes into a loud openmouthed moan when you squeeze him again. 

“Say it. Say the thing. I know you want to,” you tease, pressing again on his thighs when he tries to embarrassedly get up. You know full well if he really wanted to leave he could simply  _ teleport _ away. And you have your hand on his dick, so that might be a bit of an incentive to stay. 

“N-no, I don’t,” Loki lies through his teeth. You smile at him again, bedroom smile, and wrap your whole hand around the length of him and curl your fingers as if you were making a fist. Loki sobs, turning his head further into your neck to muffle it. 

“Say it, minou. I want to give you what you want, I really do… but I won’t. I’m sure I can make up some excuse to Frigga about this or that and stay here  _ all day _ teasing you relentlessly. Bringing you to the edge and just… letting go,” you murmur into the shell of his ear, ghosting over it. “Do you want that?” 

“No, no, no, please,” 

“You don’t want that?” 

“N-no,” Loki stutters out, the word shuddering when you brush the head of him. You’re about to say something else, taunting and luring him more, when Loki whispers so low that if you didn’t have superhuman hearing you don’t think you’d be able to pick it up: “ _ Ma-master _ .” 

There’s something about the way he says it, bashful and nervous, that precedes the BDSM-esc connotations of it. Loki makes it seem precious and valuable, not nearly as sensual as it could have been. And you wouldn’t want it any other way.

“See? Now, was that so hard?” 

“No, Master,” he whispers. 

“Good minou, so good,” you gush, releasing your grip from his thighs and returning it to fondle the other untouched nipple. Loki moans in delight at the return of it, his back arching up into it and lifting his head in the process. You chuckle, and reach up to kiss his cheek.  _ So good.  _ Meanwhile, you begin to move your hand. Loki’s hips twitch with pleasure each stroke, and eventually he can’t seem to stop himself from lifting to meet you each time. 

“How close are you?” 

“V-very close, Master,” even now, it’s the third time he’s said it and it’s only getting more delicious each time. You’re never letting this go. Each iteration of Loki, you’re pushing this. Jotun, Lady, every other form he may have. This, this is _fantastic_. 

“Good boy. Should I let you come?” 

Loki’s head nods so energetically that it looks like his head might pop off. Investigating his beautiful face, you take pleasure in the fact that his eyes are red rimmed and filled with drunk-on-pleasure tears, his nipple is wonderfully red, and there's just one bit of drool hanging from the side of his mouth. The image of erotic delicacy. 

“Words, please,” you instruct. 

“Please let me come,” 

“‘Please let me come’ what,” you sing-song at him, not halting the rapid movements of your hand but moving the other to pull on his hair. 

“Please let me- aAh-”

You stop your hand right at the very edge of Loki’s orgasm, causing him to sob with the unfairness of it all. 

“Master, please Master, I love you, please, anything for you,  _ please- _ ” 

“Just had to say it, minou. I think it’s growing on me,” you kiss those perfect lips, then finally jerk him to completion. It sparks the most wonderful feeling in your chest, somewhere between the feeling of drinking perfectly warm hot chocolate and a hug from a loved one. Odd, and something unfamiliar but not unwelcome whatsoever. 

After the job is done, you take stock that yes, your hand is completely covered in come and Loki is also, if not more so, a complete mess. He’s fallen back onto the bed with a self-satisfied very dreamy expression. You magic up a towel and clean yourself off while Loki touches the mess adorning his abdominals thoughtfully. 

He finally looks up at you when you kiss his forehead. 

“I’m going to go now,” you tell him. 

“No, stay. Stay with me,” Loki murmurs, reaching up in a lax motion to grab onto one of your horns and bring you back down for another kiss. 

“I’m going to go see your mother. And you need to shower, wash yourself off,” you press, caressing his cheek (and adoring the serene expression that follows it) before straightening your back and going to leave again. He props himself up on one arm, come still decorating his chest. 

“Darling,” he starts, drawing your attention, before swiping a finger through his own mess and  _ putting the finger in his mouth _ . Loki sucks on it experimentally: your brain short circuits.  _ He… he just…  _ “Always thought I’d taste delectable. Seems I was right. Dearest, how would you like to try some?” You can’t manage anything above indecipherable jabber after Loki’s waaay too erotic purr. 

***alrighty folks, we good***

“I’m okay for now, minou… I just ate?” it ends up being more of a question than intended but you’re off the hook nonetheless. 

“Suit yourself…” 

“Gotta go now, minou. And I have to make up a good excuse… I don’t think that ‘I was jerking off your son’ is a suitable one…” you make use of the laid out clothes that Aslief had kindly prepared and quickly dress in them. As you leave the room, Loki calls for you to wait a moment. 

“Yes, mon minou?” 

“This is love, right? Do you love me? I've never felt requited romantic love, so I presume I wouldn't really know,” 

“I…” 

“It’s alright, it’s alright. I don’t need you to say it… I believe. I just… sometime soon, yes? Because… I adore you, more than anything. You’re irrevocably and most definitely the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I love you with all my heart. You are my heart,” 

And, of course, in a moment of the most cowardly act: you simply run away. You close the door on the  _ man you are in love with  _ and run away to something that is very quickly seeming less like a fun activity and more like something that you are treating as an excuse. How horribly cruel. 

~~~~~

You beat yourself up about what you did the entire time. Spells with Frigga had expanded to her teaching you all about Asgardian healing practices. It takes the whole day, right up until an hour before sunset. You don’t see Loki the entire time, and you therefore don’t get the chance to apologize… who knows what he’s feeling right now. Frigga keeps asking if you’re alright: you can’t bring yourself to say it. 

“Thank you, Frigga, for showing me this,” you attempt to be grateful for all of this truly fabulous knowledge, but it seems to be apparent that your heart wasn’t in this. 

“First, my dear child, I’d like it if you called me Mother. We are certainly at that point, most definitely if all the things my son has planned come to fruition,” the woman gives you a knowing look, brushing your shoulder. 

“Really? What did he tell you?” 

“Oh ho, a whole lot. Mainly marriage, lots of children-” you groan, pressing the heels of your hands to your temples. It’s nothing you haven’t heard before, nothing that you’re unhappy with… but somehow with what you did this morning, you can’t imagine that Loki’s still going to want that. “Dear, I think you should tell me what’s the matter,” 

“I ran away, just like before,” you admit, and Frigga tuts (just like a perfect mother that you’ve never had) before pulling you into a hug. 

“Like before?” 

“Like a long time ago. I ran away from him at the park, and I ran away from him before we dated, and I just keep running instead of it all,” you might be crying, just a little bit. Frigga rubs your back, between the wings, and it’s so delightfully relaxing you mourn the fact that there's never been a moment like this before. 

“My child, he doesn’t fault you for any of that: he  _ loves _ you. I can say with absolute confidence Loki understands what it’s like to be afraid, to shy away from something,” 

“I just want to be braver and tell him that I love him too. I don’t want him to think that I don’t,” you whisper, the truth coming through clearly. 

“You can do this. You are a very strong woman, to be able to endure all of things you have… surely, you can do this,”

“I don’t know if I can…” you’re pulled back so that Frigga can look you in the eyes. You want to look away, to avert your eyes, but you remember what she said: you’re strong. 

“Tonight. Tell him tonight. Go straight to the garden, I will send a note to Loki and to the servants to put your dinner in the gardens. I’ll make sure you aren’t interrupted,” Frigga gives you a stern look that melts into one of love. Cupping your cheek and kissing the crown of your head. “I believe in you.” 

It’s funny: you never know how much you need something like that until it’s said. You dry your eyes and make a fist. 

“I can do this! I can do this,” and like the Little Engine That Could you repeat the phrase as you take off to go to the garden. 

The walk isn’t enough to prepare you. Loki is waiting for you, patiently waiting, watching the sun go down beyond the horizon. There is a large silver cart with two dishes utop it next to him. He notices you and offers a small smile, patting the seat beside him on the stone bench. 

You shuffle towards him, the wind gone completely out of your sails. His smile is so soft, so delicate. Like a dandelion, or a feather. It makes your heart melt. 

“There you are, my sweet. Come on, sit with me,” he says, and it’s just as soft as his smile. Instead of sitting next to him, you make the first move and kiss him firmly. You deepen it, a move usually made by Loki, and lick his lower lip. Loki seems to be initially surprised, but then affirming. When you step back and finally sit next to him, Loki kisses your forehead. Unlike Frigga, it’s full of adoration and the feeling that no one is going to love you like I do. 

“I thought you organized this for bad news, my darling. I see that is not the case, now… thank goodness for that,” Loki sighs. 

“Why would you think that?” you ask, though you already know the answer. Loki chuckles, and gives you your plate. 

“I always think that I’m moments away from being broken up with, my dear. It is just the way my mind works nowadays; pessimistic, I know, but has gotten me out of more jams than I can recall. And when something so bright as you comes into my life, I can only imagine it as a fleeting moment. It still amazes me that you  _ want  _ to stay with me,” Loki spins a fork in his hand before stabbing some food and bringing it to his mouth. 

“That is literally the opposite of what I wanted to do here,” you murmur, eating a little bit of the scrumptious food. 

“That’s good to hear, then,” 

It’s too quiet, all of a sudden. Loki feels like he’s moments away from being left behind each day? That’s not right. It’s not fair. You  _ have  _ to tell him. 

_ Okay. Fucking now. Do it. You can do it. Just fucking say it.  _

You slam your plate back onto the tray, surprising Loki enough that he chokes a little bit. His face is half full with food, but he looks at you wide-eyed anyway. 

“I love you. I’m sorry that I’m a coward for not being able to say it earlier. But I love you,” you point at him accusingly, as if you were reprimanding him instead of telling him that you’re proper obsessed with him, “And don’t think that I’m leaving you anytime soon, because it’s not going to fucking happen, lover boy!” 

Loki swallows, and places his food next to yours. His lips slowly curve into a smirk, and his eyes light up with joy. 

“Well, that simply must be a lie. Perhaps we should test if I can still understand lies,” he smirks, resting his chin in his hand. 

“Yeah?” you can’t help but beam at him, excited to play the game. 

“Okay, now, tell me a lie,” 

“Uh… I find you ridiculously unattractive,” you flirt. 

“Lie, obviously,” Loki waves his hand in the air before pulling you into his side. You can hear his heartbeat: juxtaposing his lighthearted banter, his heart is pounding so fast in his chest. It’s making your body feel all tingly and wanted. 

“I hate it here,” 

“Lies,” 

“I  _ don’t  _ love you,” 

“L-lies,” Loki whispers, inches from your mouth before closing the distance and giving you the sweetest and most loving kiss that he’s ever given you. 

“Have you been holding out on me?” 

“Maybe just a bit,” he chuckles, before pressing your foreheads together and wrapping his arms around you. Then you’re encompassed with this feeling of… harmony. Of finally being in tune with something. It feels complete and beautiful and the serendipity of it all is striking. Loki’s head is nuzzling into your neck and you're in his lap, and isn’t that wonderful? 

So many horrible things have happened in this place. So so many. But it doesn’t really matter… well, it certainly does, and you’re certainly changing things by just being here but it doesn’t matter. In this moment, all that matters is that you’re  _ happy _ and enveloped by the person you love most. 

“Hey, Loki?” 

“Yes, my love, my sweet, my everything,” 

“I love you. And… no, that’s it. I love you,” you smile at him cheekily. 

“I love you more than anything in this universe. You are the most tremendous thing in my life,” Loki purrs, “Don’t ever leave me, my love. My true, only love,” 

“I never want to leave you, but you know…” 

“Please, do not bring up the topic of your mortality right now. I am rejoicing in the fact that the person I adore is honestly reciprocating my feelings,” 

“Really? How’s that?” you giggle, teasing him a little before booping his nose. The reaction each time you do it is the same: whether he’s doing it intentionally to make you laugh or not doesn’t really matter. 

“Well, you see, she said that she loves me. In the most particular and special way of hers, and I quite simply couldn’t be happier,” Loki raises an eyebrow conspiratorially and you can’t help but laugh again. His arms wrap tighter around you, and you can feel his sigh in every molecule of your body. “I love you. I love your laugh, I love you,” 

You sit like that in the garden, dinners forgotten, as the both of you kiss lovingly and lazily as if you had all the time in the world. It’s peaceful, as the sun sets completely and Loki nuzzles your neck. He repeats his proclamations of love over and over, and now, you return them. Not to the eloquent extent that he does but most importantly you are able to simply say the words, and each time you do the most amazing beautiful expression graces his features. 

“Hey Loki?” you ask quietly, drawing circles on his thigh shyly.

“Mhmm?” 

“Can I… no, nevermind,” you shut yourself down, the idea you had both lewd and incredibly out there. Who are you to ruin this moment? 

“What is it, darling? Anything you want, it’s yours,” Loki says, soft and adoring. His hand reaches up towards your cheek. 

“Alright, um… I just was thinking about you know, us, and I realized that… you've given oral hundreds times and I’ve never… done it for you? And I used to think that that was okay, because you loved me and I wasn’t sure yet but now we’re on the same page and I don’t know-” 

“Love, I do not care if you want to do that. You certainly don’t  _ have _ to, and you shouldn’t feel indebted to do it either. But if you want to suck my cock, I would not decline,” Loki smirks, cocksure as ever. You bite your lip thoughtfully. 

“Minou?” 

“Yes, my dear,” 

“Can I give you a blowjob?” 

***here we go again***

Instead of answering, Loki merely groans obscenely. You clap your hands over his mouth; he licks your hand. 

“Not outside! Back in our room! People will see here,” you exclaim in horror. Loki removes your hands from his face. 

“There is already an illusion in place. They will see and hear nothing, even in the unlikely chance that they actually stumble into this corner of the garden. Now, on your knees, pet,” Loki purrs, the excitement in his voice betraying how much he’s thought about this exact moment. 

“Are you hard already?” you ask, surprised, as he wiggles out of his pants slightly. 

“Darling just the  _ idea  _ of your mouth on me makes me almost embarrassedly hard,” 

You flush, and help him with the briefs. There he is, in all his half-hard glory. 

“I’ve never done this before. Is that… is that okay? I’m still not all that experienced-” 

“I don’t care. I sincerely don’t care, my love. I’ll teach you, and either way, I think you’ll be naturally good at this. Like with everything you do,” 

_ Flatterer.  _ You stretch a little upwards so that you can brace your hands on his knees and experimentally lick him. It’s nice knowing that he’s showered recently, seeing all the activity you had earlier, so you aren’t as opposed as you might have been. 

He seems to enjoy the lick, demonstrated perhaps best by how he pushes his hips forwards and gets harder. He’s long, and you wonder idly how the hell someone is supposed to fit all of  _ that  _ in their mouth. You grab him by the base and curve your mouth over the head. Loki muffles a scream, letting it go when it turns to a moan. You raise your eyebrows, looking at Loki from his lap curiously.

“Good, that was good. You’re doing very well,” he gasps out, settling back on the bench. Enthused by his encouragement, you take more of him into your mouth and hollow your cheeks. It seemed like the right thing to do, and if Loki’s drawn-out moan is any indication, it certainly was. You bob your head, enthusiastically taking more and more until the tip of him is pressing the back of your throat. 

“Be careful, darling, don’t overexert yourself,” Loki reminds you breathlessly. He’s sweating buckets, clenching his hands so that he won’t use them. You reach up and tap them, to convey your admittance to moving them. He obliges by gripping your horns. In a way that is completely unprecedented, Loki maneuvers your head using your large horns to fuck your mouth. It’s loud, and obscene, but the exalted look on Loki’s face makes it all worthwhile. 

He comes fast, without much warning, down your throat. Sitting back, wiping your mouth and taking deep breaths through your mouth, you grin at Loki. 

“Why haven’t we done that before?” 

“I could not tell you, darling,” Loki groans, snapping his fingers to readjust the positioning of his pants, “That was fantastic. Thank you,” 

“Hey, I love you,” 

“I love you, as well,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns! Just a little fluffy smutty chapter today! Take pleasure in it though- things are going to start changing, and fast.


	40. 3-23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you do something you'd promised Maleficent.

The next week passes by with more sightseeing of Asgard: the marketplace, the beautiful scenery, sneaking into the royal vault, visiting Maleficent more, even small trips to other realms. 

Loki gave you no more than an hour to look at Jotunheim, of which he was very nervous but you were very excited. It was frosty and frigid enough that even you needed a coat, but held a special kind of elegance that you’ve never seen before. Alfheim for a day (needed heavy duty sunglasses, your eyes were so sensitive), Vanaheim in its exotic luxurance for three days, a brief stint in Niðavellir, and so on and so forth. It felt almost like a honeymoon stage, despite the fact that you weren’t even engaged. It was as if with Loki, you were already married: like you were soulmates. You’ve never been this happy before. 

You wake up, go to bathe, and can’t help but sing in the shower. The shower being the gargantuan bath running fresh water over your head. Using one of the glass soap bottles as a microphone, you start singing whatever's on your mind. 

“This thing called love, I just can't handle it… This thing called love, I must get round to it

I ain't ready, crazy little thing called love…” Why don't I sing this more often? This is such a good song! “This thing, called love, it cries…” and just like it had back on Midgard, you can pick up the sound of your magic doing the backup vocals and instruments almost immediately. “In a cradle all night, It swings, It jives… It shakes all over like a jellyfish…”

“Darling?”

“I kinda like it… crazy little thing called love,”

“Darling!” 

“There goes my baby… She knows how to rock 'n' roll, She drives me crazy...She gives me hot and cold fever! Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat…” 

Loki gives up trying to call for you and just steps into the shower, being naked anyway. 

“Oh, hey minou! I didn’t hear you,” you giggle, wrapping your arms around his body. 

“Yes, I know that. I like your song,” he notes, “Is there more?” 

“Um…” the rest of the song is a little blurry, but you get through it nonetheless. The instruments backing you up make it feel like you were just singing along to the radio, and helps you ignore the fact that Loki’s eyes bore into you. 

“I like this one,” Loki presses, once you finish, grabbing a nearby sponge to finish washing you, “What is the title of the piece?” 

“Crazy Little Thing Called Love, by Queen. You don’t know a lot of Midgardian music, don’t you?” 

“Not really, no. Asgardian music is just… harmonic chords, no vocals. Very angelic and all that, but nothing like the rhythm and musicality of yours,” he answers. You hum: makes sense that Asgard is just strings and stuff. 

“Do you know the Beatles?” 

“Do you refer to the small creatures?” 

“What about Elvis?” 

“Not in particular. Quite a silly name,” 

“Well, yeah, but what about Madonna? Or Michael Jackson? Oh, Elton John!” 

“Sorry, my love,” Loki admits sheepishly. 

“When we get back to Midgard, we’re going to listen to everything,” you insist, snuggling up to him, “We’re going to be a married couple that has a beautifully normal life… we can cook together, and learn to play the piano… even stupid everyday things like go grocery shopping and garden. We can do that, right?” 

“I love that. I want that. I want that life, with you,” Loki grasps your hands in his, kissing them as the water runs down. You laugh loudly as he scoops you in his arms with little effort, flaring your wings to splash him with water. 

“Oh, I’ll get you for that one, lovely one,” 

_ Everything’s perfect. Everything is going to be perfect forever.  _

So, of course, everything has to go to shit. It started with this perfectly regular day, after showering, after eating a quality Asgardian breakfast on the porch… It starts by asking Aslief what's on the schedule for the day.

“I’m sorry miss, and my prince, but we’ve been putting it off for too long,” Aslief explains, ducking her head. Though you’ve mostly drawn her out of her shell at this point, she’s still shy when it comes to tough subjects. 

“What, what have we been putting off? I haven’t been putting anything off. Have you, mon minou?” you turn to Loki, dressed in his elegant Asgardian attire. 

“No,” he says. The familiar alarm bell goes off in your head.  _ That is a lie. He is lying to me. _

“Why are you lying to me? You know I can tell!” you demand, hands on hips. Loki pales, his jaw working. For someone who is the patron god of fibbing, he certainly struggles with his tells when faced with you. 

“I-I… fine. I… no. Aslief?” Loki gestures to the small maid, too anxious to tell you himself. 

“Miss, usually when guests of the crown attend the castle they are to have dinner with the king and queen. You have still not entertained an audience with them… I believe that is because my prince has been delaying it for quite some time,” she explains quietly. 

_ Loki doesn’t want to have dinner with his parents.  _ You pull on his sleeve. He can’t meet your eyes. 

“Do you not want to see them because of me, or you?” 

“I don’t want to see them because I don’t know what I’ll do if Odin treats you badly. I don’t… I don’t know what to do. I don’t… Besides avoid it entirely,” Loki murmurs. You aww, and pull him in for a hug. 

“You’re so sweet, minou. Positively precious,” you compliment him, scratching behind his ear. Aslief shuffles confusedly as Loki purrs delightedly. You look over at her. “We’ll have dinner with them tonight. We’re going to do some fun things today, right minou?” 

Loki just purrs more. 

“That’s a yes. Thank you, Aslief! You’re dismissed for the day,” 

“Thank you, miss. Have a good day,” 

“You too!” 

After she leaves, you turn back to Loki and stop scratching his ear. He pouts. 

“Today, you’re going to learn how to fly. And we’re going to visit the Moors,” you tell him. Loki’s eyes light up. 

“As… as a Fae?” 

“Yup. We’re going out to a field, and you’re going to fly today.” 

~~~~~

You know exactly where you’re going to go to teach him. That place that you saw, or rather felt, on your very first day: what you know now is the Moors. Or what’s left of it, anyways. Maleficent had told you that the Moors had largely been destroyed under Odin’s primary directives of eliminating the Fae species but you could never truly destroy it as long as Yggdrasil was still alive. It is a direct connection between Asgard and the World Tree: no power on Asgard could sever it.

So there you go, riding horses to the location. Speaking of horses, the stablehand was all kinds of nervous. When you asked him why, he shakingly said that they had lost the horse you had used previously and were simply waiting for reprimands from higher authorities. You and Loki both kept straight faces as they silently saddled up a new horse for you and Loki’s old one, breaking into chortles after getting a good distance away. You let the horses graze once you get to a large grassy section, your skin tingling with the sensation of the Moors so nearby. 

“Do you feel it?” you breathe. Even the air, even the air smells sweet and inviting. It’s cloying in it’s wafting sugar scent. 

“What do you refer to?” Loki asks confusedly, looking about the area. 

“You’ll see, when you shift. It feels… electric. Alive,” 

He nods, still confounded by the idea, until the wings spurt from his back and horns extend from his forehead. He blinks a few times, the heightened senses taking a moment to adjust to the air- and then shudders. 

“Yes, I feel it. It’s… odd. Not uncomfortable, certainly- alluring, in a faint way,” 

“Exactly! Thanks, minou. Maleficent says that that’s the moors- we can go there after you learn how to keep yourself afloat,” You grin, pushing at his shoulder. Loki’s wings flutter: black as night, raven’s wings- they’re some kind of heavenly, the wings of a god. You can’t help but smile at him: his beauty is undeniable. The way he tests his wings curiously, stretching them as if to test their durability, sniffing at the air. He’s able to lift them up now, stop them from letting them drag on the ground… it makes you wonder if this is what he’s been doing when you are apart. Practicing being Fae, practicing being your mate. Pride flows in your chest. Loki peers over at you and your loving expression, and smiles sheepishly. 

“Everything alright, my love?” Loki says softly. You chuckle, walking over to peck his lips sweetly. His feathers ruffle, betraying his pleasure at the motion. 

“I love you, my pretty kitten-bird,” you coo, rubbing his cheek. Loki purrs in retribution, nuzzling your hand. 

“Okay, I’ve never had to teach someone how to fly before, so I don’t know if I’m doing this right, but by watching the robins, I think it’s best to drop you from a high place and for you to sort of learn how to fly by falling. That sound okay?” you clap your hands together. 

“Uhh, if I may, darling, how did  _ you  _ learn to fly?” 

The memory of you learning to fly is one that stems from long ago. You learning how to fly was conjoined with discovering your wings- frightening, and prompted so many adaptations at the time… but flying has always been an exalted experience. Something precious, that none of the horrible things that were stuck grounded can touch. 

The first time you flew, it was because you were trying to get away. It wasn’t done with time or patience or under a mother’s caring wing, but because of necessity. There was a mad woman chasing you out of her home, your wings peeking out while you slept, and you’d jumped out the window. Falling, falling, falling, until you pulled yourself out of it because  _ you don’t want to die just yet.  _

“Jumped from a high place,” you say simply. Loki seems to know that there’s more, but doesn’t press. Blessedly. “Let’s go to one of those trees over there, or you could teleport yourself into the air,” 

“I can do the second easily- just… watch and tell me what to do,” Loki agrees. You nod, excited to see how he does, and attempting to forget jumping out a thirty story building. 

“Show me what you got, mon minou,” you cheer. Then Loki’s up and away, miles above your head in the sky: and then he’s falling, falling fast, wings whipping around him as he struggles to hold them still to glide. He falls and falls and seems to even out at the end but too late- you’re about to scream when he teleports himself upright. 

_ Hoo. That looked more real than I thought it would.  _ Loki takes note of your distress and comes over to kiss your head. 

“I am unharmed, my love. Do not fret,” in a moment of beauty, Loki rubs his horns with yours. It’s companionship and familiar and calming and  _ affectionate _ . It’s a move no one’s ever done before… probably because you’ve never met any Fae before. 

“What… what are you doing?” 

“I’m not sure- but it feels right,” Loki hums, rubbing those golden horns upon your own more. You run your hands up his sides to grip his face. His eyes are wide. 

“It’s really nice to have another Fae around, mate,” you tell him, reveling in how he flushes excitedly. 

“I am glad. I think that if I go ahead a second time, I will be able to at least glide,” 

“That’s good! I think… when I fly it’s mostly gliding with occasional wind flaps and the help of gales and such. You’re really good at this though- I didn’t expect you to pick it up so fast, since you’re not attached to your wings all the time,” Loki’s face flushes. You raise an eyebrow. “Loki…?”   


“What?” 

“What are you hiding? You know I can tell~” 

“Nothing!” 

“You’re lying again, minou,” 

“I… I’ve been practicing. When you’re not around. I want to be good at this, good for you, I want to be perfect, I want you to be happy with me, want for nothing. You mentioned before, during the Reign of Ultron, that the last time you were under a blue moon you wanted a mate, a Fae lover, and I- I want to be that. So I’ve practiced. I’m sorry. I should have waited for you to teach me,” Loki sighs, scratching the back of his neck. His wings are rustling nervously, his head dipped down ashamedly. You chuckle at his antics.

“Show me how well you can soar, mon minou. Prove it to me,” you grin, before shooting off into the air. You watch as Loki sucks in air briefly before shooting off the ground: he’s shaky, and slower than you, and certainly less agile but he’s  _ doing it _ . He’s flying, right beside you. You smile at him brightly, laughing joyously. “You’re doing it, Loki! Oh my goodness, you’re actually flying!” 

“You think so little of me that I could not master flight?” Loki smirks. You giggle, spinning about in the rushing air before propelling yourself upwards above the clouds. Loki follows you, clearly marveling how his Fae anatomy and lungs support him to find air. You flap your wings, hovering in the air, and open your arms for Loki to fly into like a small child learning to walk. 

He stumbles forward awkwardly at first, but figuring out how to hold his body to go forward quickly allows him to hug you happily. Loki’s wings part the air forcibly, unlike your own which slides through it. 

“You’re butchering the air. Be one with what's around you: it’s not going to hurt you if you side with it. You don’t need to beat it down,” you instruct him. His throat bobs as he attempts to follow: the beating lessens, not as elegant as you still but better. 

“Minou, you’re doing so good. You’re so good at this, right off the bat,” you compliment him, shifting around him in the air to view from all angles. 

“I worked hard for you, my darling,” he preens under the praise, ever the beautiful peacock. You brush your hands over part of the wing, admiring it and smirking at how it flutters. “What are you doing back there, my love?”

“Just investigating my mate, seeing how his feathers are groomed- you’re very well kempt. Have you been combing through?” 

“I… uh, perhaps-” Loki’s face is so red he’s having trouble staying afloat. 

“Is that a Fae thing I don’t know about? Do you feel pressured to make your wings pretty so I’ll like you?” you ask excitedly. Loki’s face becomes increasingly flushed. 

“Maybe…” the way he says it, all shy and unwilling to admit that he’s been taking to his wings to make himself look attractive- it’s  _ adorable _ . 

“You are so cute!!” you squeal, spinning about with your wings. 

“I am not cute,” Loki pouts, “It was your instincts that told me to! They said that you’d appreciate it, that it would make you pick me above others-” 

“Loki, look around! You’re the only one I’m seeing here, the only one I love,” you remind him. Loki seems to need constant reminders of that. “You’re the only one for me,” 

Loki smiles wide, splaying his wings once before flapping them again, “The only one?” 

“The only one. Now, are we going to race or what?” you challenge. Loki raises his eyebrow before taking off in the direction of the Moors. He needs the head start… because you’re still going to beat him easily. And you, do- easily. 

Loki flaps his wings without rhythm, more desperate than sure, and it causes him to lose altitude constantly. He doesn’t take advantage of the preexisting winds. You make a mental note to treat flying as if he were in a sailboat. But now, that doesn’t matter. Now, you’re in the Moors. You land on 

The feeling of smooth cool electricity on your skin ripples, and it feels  _ warm _ . An odd feeling, but welcoming. The Moors are beautiful. They’re less than they once were, certainly, that much is obvious: but there are enchanting waterfalls and grassy fields and fierce mountains that you’d love to dive off of. 

But in a horrifying sense- they are empty. In this small world that feels as though it should be chock full of life and fairies and gnomes and all that, there is nothing. Not another soul. 

“Someone cleared this whole place out. There’s… no one,” you whisper. It’s eerie, almost, how this gorgeous land has nothing living in it. Even more than eerie, it’s sad. You find Loki’s hand taking your own. 

“Odin. When he killed the Fae, he went all the way. The Moors grew back- they were still connected to the World Tree, but they can’t make the denizens come back. It’s waiting, dormant, for thousands years now,” Loki muses. You bite your lip, worrying at it. 

“Waiting for what?” 

“You, probably. Fae,” Loki looks at you, invested. Your chest tightens: this is the land of your ancestors. It’s been  _ waiting  _ for you. But… 

You don’t want to stay here. You already have a place to go to, to live after Asgard: Norway, with Loki. His big house. 

You’ve already lived in a tree, albeit a smaller much less magical dirty one, and it drove you to such a deep loneliness that you wished to be dead. 

Yeah, that’s not going to happen again. 

You dive down to the center of the Moors: a throne, made of moss and wood, lies vacant. It seems to ask for you to sit in it, to please occupy it’s empty shell. You place your hand on the wood, rubbing it, and kneel down in the lush grass. 

“I’m sorry, but I can’t stay. I don’t want to- I don’t belong here. You keep waiting for me, for the Fae to come home to you… but they can’t. There’s no more. I’m sorry. I’m doing my best to find where they are, but they’ve moved on. We’ve had to be replotted somewhere else, and now we’ve adjusted to fit the new pot we’re in. I see that you’re being so patient, and I appreciate it, but it’s not worth it. You’re only hurting yourself, waiting for them to come back. You gotta start anew,” you tell the ground, the air, the trees. They rustle sadly. Loki seems to sense the melancholy as well, and looks to the ground. The grass wilts around you, the nearest strands reaching out to hold on to your feet sadly. You chuckle and brush them affectionately. 

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll visit, I promise. See, I can make portals too, just like my ancestors can- if I try really hard, I could probably portal here, right? It’s my homeland, so I should have some preexisting connection,” you compromise with the ground. It sprouts little glowing flowers, so you assume that means it’s happy with that decision. 

“Darling, I am unsure if you possess that much power- certainly from Asgard, but I do not think you could from Midgard,” 

“Hey, stranger things have happened,” you grin, petting the grass more. The trees rustle, the water making a whooshing noise. You giggle at the reaction. Loki rubs your horns sweetly. 

You look around at the greenery, the large trees scraping the sky. The thought occurs to you that these are trees: you can  _ talk  _ with Fae trees. Perhaps… 

“Be careful now, love,” Loki warns. You wave him off- you’ve done this hundreds of times before. You place your hand on the tree and it shudders.  _ What… what is this?  _

The tree is  _ hurt _ . It is aching. You lend a little healing to it: the practices and tips that Frigga gave you a while ago coming in handy as you mend it. The tree morphs under your hand, bark moving and shifting around you. Somewhere, Loki is yelling your name, yelling for you to  _ come back to him come back _ \- 

It’s no use: and it doesn’t matter either. The tree isn’t a tree. It’s a tree creature, humanoid with branches stretching out of his hair. 

_ “Why hello there. Seems like you’ve had quite the long nap, my friend,” _ you smile. It looks at you confusedly, making a garbled noise. Loki runs up and steals you away, pressing his lips to your temple and growling at the tree creature.

“Get  _ away _ , fiend! Mine, she’s mine, I tell you, you can’t have her,” Loki snarls aggressively, hackles raised and wings spread wide. His teeth are bared at the tree animalistically. The tree creature seems confused: he looks at you both, then the sky. 

‘ _ What happened to my home? Where is everybody? _ ’ you hear him think. It’s less thinking, just questions he has. It’s more than that, and less. You can look at this tree creature and know instantly that he was  _ young _ , too young, when everything went down. When he was reduced to a standing tree with no life at all. 

_ “I’m so sorry. Everything’s gone. Everyone. The king bombed the moors and took everything,”  _ you whisper in his tongue. Loki by now realizes that he’s not a threat, he’s not making moves: he’s just  _ confused _ . And now, mortified. 

‘ _ Everything? Balthazar? Maleficent? Aurora?’  _

_ “I’m sorry. They’re all gone- Maleficent’s a tree, I have no clue who Balthazar is, and Aurora is deceased. She died thousands of years ago. I’m so so sorry,” _ this creature is so heartbroken, he’s brought to his knees. 

“What are you saying to him?” Loki whispers. 

“You can’t understand?” 

“No, I am an imposter of a Fae. I do not possess your natural born talents. What have you said to bring this behemoth to his knees?” 

“I just told him what happened… it’s quite sad, you know,” you murmur, leaning into Loki’s embrace. Loki sighs, kissing your hair again. 

“I wish it were different. I wish it wasn’t this way- because if things were different, I could have met you so many years ago. I could have been this happy, so happy, if my father wasn’t such an ass,” 

“So he’s your father now?” you note, looking away.

“Well, I- I presume, that if I’m living in his house, then yes,” Loki murmurs, “But he’s never been my father. Just the man who raised me, raised me wrong,” 

“Hmm, looks like our tree friend is piecing himself together,” you change the subject, noticing that the tree creature is beginning to stand. 

_ “Hi again,”  _ you greet, introducing yourself and Loki alike. He takes it in wordlessly.  _ “And your name is…”  _

_ ‘Stellan. I am one of the Forest Army of the Moors… I have- had been protecting this land since I was born out of a spring from Balthazar’s body’  _

_ “Who’s Balthazar?”  _

‘ _ Another army-man, my parent and partner. I was made of him, made for him, so he would not be lonely. The leader, a strong leader loyal and true to the Fae. He… he went to fight, and I was to stay here and shield the little fairies from harm and… and that’s the last thing I remember. Where is Balthazar? I want… I miss him. I don’t want him to be dead, Mistress,’  _

_ “Uh, I am not a Mistress-”  _

_ ‘You are the only Fae left, are you not? That makes you the Mistress of the Moors. The ruler. You are my Mistress,’  _ Stellan blinks his wooden eyes, the glow behind them fluttering. 

_ “Okay then… is there any way I could try and find him? A way to track his body- then I could maybe heal him, the same way I healed you,” _ you suggest. Stellan hums thoughtfully, and then snaps off a piece of him. 

_ ‘We are made of the same stuff. The same exact bark, substance. If you have a piece of me, you could find him.’  _

You take the piece of bark and hand it to Loki, who looks on confusedly and holds it with open hands. 

“What is this?”

“I need you to track it. Find everything that’s made of this, okay?” 

“But it will just go back to him-” 

“No, no it won’t. Tracking spell, now,” you demand. Loki nods, glancing uneasily at Stellan. Stellan is stoic, waiting the agonizing minutes to see if his lover still exists on this plane. Loki does the spell, green magic flowing and ebbing around his hands, and breathes deeply after it finishes. 

“There is in fact another being of the same skin as this creature. It is on the outskirts of the Moors, half burnt. You wish to revive it, yes?” 

“Yeah, it’s his lover. And parent, maybe? Trees are strange, but either way, he loves him and was told to wait here for the war. I’m thinking that if Stellan was created via Balthazar bark, then they can regrow their population. Like, this is an ecosystem, right? If I rejuvenate keystone species and reintroduce them to the land, they’ll be able to support themselves. The Moors can regulate the populations since it’s relatively sentient. From what I remember that Maleficent told me, there is the Wallerbogs -they’re like tiny baby elves-, Mushroom Fairies -fairies covered in mushroom stuff-, Water Fairies -I don’t know how I’m going to heal water but I’ll sure as hell try-, and Leaf and Hedgehog Fairies that look like their namesakes. I have enough power in my bones here to heal at least five of each species! I can totally do this,” you pump your fist excitedly. Loki chuckles, then turns serious. 

“Darling, you are talking about an entire world here. That could not be possible, let alone healthy, to do in such a short amount of time! Before dinner, as well,” 

“Oh yeah, nearly forgot about that bit. But Loki, with your help, we could do this! How could you say no? There are creatures here,  _ innocent  _ creatures, that need only a handful of lifeforce to be brought back! And I’m surrounded by life, so I won’t even die this time!” 

“Do not mention death,” Loki bites. 

“But don’t you see? This is  _ worse  _ than that. These creatures, they’re stuck! They can’t die and they certainly can’t live! It’s agony. Imagine me, take me, stuck alive but unable to use any of my senses! You, knowing that I live inside something and am waiting for you to free me- would you stop at  _ anything  _ to help me? To bring me back?” 

Loki looks sickened. Physically sick. 

“ _ Y-you… stuck? And I couldn’t… couldn’t help?  _ You’d be stuck and in agony and I couldn’t… dar-darling, I couldn’t  _ live  _ with myself. I-I, that sounds like  _ Hel _ ,” Loki’s started to tear up, shaking visibly, and sobbing to himself. Holding onto your hand, he lowers himself to his knees on the cool grass. You cup his cheeks, cradling him as he attempts to stop his moment of emotional weakness.It makes you feel bad, sure, but it may be necessary. “Why… Why would you even say that? I don’t want you to go, that’s horrifying,”

“Then you understand what Stellan is feeling right now. Then you understand why we have to help,” you remind him. 

“Okay, okay. I’ll help you. Just promise me you won’t overexert yourself- I don’t want that nightmare to become a reality,” it hits you exactly what that sounds like in that moment: like turning into a tree, doesn’t it.

“Oh, I didn’t-” 

“It’s fine. It was a good blow, my sweetling. Convinced me, that’s for sure,” Loki gives a watery smile, offered up painfully. Guilty is still clawing at your heart, so you give him a tight hug and murmur into his chest: 

“I love you, Loki. I don’t want to leave you either. But just because I don’t want to, doesn’t mean it can’t happen. So we need to help people that have the same problems, so they don’t have to experience such pain,” you smile at him with the most angelic ability you can muster, and revel in his return of a smile. 

‘ _ Are you still going to find Balthazar, Mistress?’ _

_ “Oh, of course, we’re about to go, Stellan. I’m sorry, my mate here needed some convincing of the plan. I’m going to bring back the Moors,”  _ Stellan’s eyes widen slightly, and take in Loki calming himself and honing his abilities for the task at hand. Green energy crackles about his body, the stores of seiðr he possesses rising to the surface of his Fae form. It would be quite intimidating if you didn’t know him, if you haven’t seen him in the best and worst of situations. 

‘ _ That Fae is the beloved of Mistress? He has grand horns. A very good mate _ ’ his head nods in affirmation. Loki looks between the two of you, still missing out on the conversation. 

“ _ Aww, thank you, Stellan! I love him very much. He’s my kitten,’  _ you laugh, patting Loki’s head adoringly. He looks up: grins, and claps his hands together. 

“Ready to go, darling. I’ll lead you to this Balthazar, and then you must be the one to figure out what is a frozen fairy and what is a genuine mushroom. Is Stellan coming with us?” 

“ _ Stellan, do you want to come?”  _ the Stellan nods sagely, his wooden bones snapping as he stands to his full height. Loki gulps, and then starts trekking across the lush landscape. It’s only a few minutes before you’ve made it to the edge of the Moors. The tree that Loki has led you to is  _ ravaged _ . 

Half of it is burned. 

The other half is dark and parched. 

Stellan makes a groaning cracking noise, a sound of anguish, and caresses the tree. It quivers, shaking, as if this husk of a magical creature thinks that it is about to be hurt even more. 

_ ‘Mistress, please- please, help, he’s hurting-’ _

You nod quickly, shooing him away with a hand to embrace the tree. It’s going to take a lot of magic to heal this: but looking at Stellan, how he quivers and shakes, wanting to hold the lover who very clearly was running back to save him after all was lost, you really don’t have a choice do you? 

The magic flows through you easily, and after a moment, the bark shifts and changes and  _ heals _ . The ground shakes as another Forest guard lands in a heap on the ground. Stellan goes to touch his back adoringly, speaking sweet assurances and helping who you assume to be Balthazar off the ground. Stellan quickly recaps what you said to him, and Balthazar looks at you solemnly. 

‘ _ Thank you, for servicing our land. I understand that you do not feel as though you belong here, but you are extending your power towards us anyway. Thank you for returning me to life. Thank you,’  _

“ _ No problem! It’s the least I could do, all the injustice that people did to you. Me and Loki, we’re going to go and get back some of the others. Do you think you could point us in to the people you know? We’d start with them _ ,” Balthazar nods, his hand intertwining with Stellan’s, and he begins clomping loudly as he strides around the Moors. You wave for Loki to follow the two large tree creatures around the land. 

He notes how much the land has shrunk- how empty it feels. Balthazar explains that many died in an unnatural way: swords through throats and all that. But the ones that were eliminated by iron powder were in the same form as himself. Forced into their non-sentient counterparts. Fae were destroyed by the powder, but the other fairies were able to survive, albeit unconsciously. Though it is sad to think about, he exclaims how happy he is to be returned with his lover. They rub their foreheads together in a romantic butterfly-kisses fashion. It’s all very precious for such a dreary atmosphere. You heal the little fairies Balthazar points out: water fairies once again dance in the water, leaf fairies create new homes in the new trees, mushroom fairies hug Loki’s legs, Wallerbogs hold onto your horns. It feels as though you are on a rescue mission to a foriegn land, saving people left and right. 

Soon enough, there is enough life here to create the Moors anew. You’re spent, completely, support by Loki’s heady supply of magic being keeping you upright and bright. You fly up to a large tree, a perfect spot for a nest inside of it, and watch the new society mourn and find each other. It’s beautiful, how these creatures fill up this husk so perfectly. Loki lands next to you.

“Isn’t it wonderful, what we did mon minou?” 

“Yes… yes…” Loki murmurs, walking up behind you to line your bodies together. His leg dips between yours: his head nuzzles your neck. You reach around and touch his cheek.

“What are you doing?” 

“Mhmm, you smell good. I want… I want my smell to be on you. I want everyone to know you’re mine, so that no one can take you,” he continues, inciting friction by rubbing his leg on your crotch. A glance over your shoulder takes in Loki’s flushed face, breathing heavily. 

“You wanna go again? This morning-” 

“So long ago now, darling. I need to… need to do it again-” Loki stammers, before reaching his arms around to cup your chest. He takes your nipples in his hands and plays with them as he rubs his hard on more desperately on your backside. 

“Wait, wait-” 

“No waiting,” Loki growls, his hands roving down into your pants to slip them down.  _ He’s not going to stop.  _ You do the illusion, setting it up as your body quivers: Loki’s familiar enough to play you like a fiddle. 

“Loki, can we-” 

“ _ No, _ ” he says bluntly, before stripping you of the rest of your pants. He makes an approving grunt, kissing his way around your back before maneuvering you to the smooth resting point in the tree. It just so happens that the position Loki has put you in is you straddling his lap.  _ That works for me.  _ You grind yourself onto him, to which he flares his wings in ecstasy. Chuckling, you watch as he slides out of his pants so his cock can be free. You’re stuck watching as Loki strokes himself a few times and then lifts you so that he can impale you on his manhood. 

Both of you let out moans of pleasure at the feeling. Somehow, even after doing this hundreds of times, it always feels so good. It’s addictive, how perfectly he fills you each and every time, the rhythm he sets nothing short of spectacular. 

“No one else touches you like this. Only me, only me. Mine,” Loki orders, thrusting upwards to hit a sweet spot each and every stroke. You can’t do anything but mewl as he does so, biting into the meat of your shoulder. You gasp at the pain, returning it by digging your nails into the flesh of Loki’s frankly fantastic ass. Then a pair of wings, large enchanting black wings, close off the sun and hide you under them. They’re large, larger than yours, and they envelop you. 

You’d focus on the comfort of the action, but right now Loki’s hammering into you with zeal and it’s kind of hard to see anything beyond that. 

“Fuck, Loki- I’m really-” 

“Come for me, my love,” Loki instructs, the hot breath of his mouth tickling your ear, and you do. Scents burst into the air as Loki follows suit with a keen, shooting his load deep inside of you and thrusting his way through it to make sure it stays in there. Even after he softens, he stays inside, holding you to him to ensure it. You can hear Loki saying your name over and over like a mantra, like a prayer. 

And it’s true: Loki’s scent is utop of yours now. No one's mistaking you for a single person anytime soon: his Fae scent is skin deep. 

“Good. Good, you smell like me now, you’re mine,  _ mine _ , my beautiful mate, gonna wait till the next moon and I’ll fill you up again and again and you’ll be pregnant with my babies and-” Loki’s rambling, and you put your hands over his mouth. He blinks a few times and looks at you. 

“Loki, I think your senses and just being Fae are… taking over a little bit. Like when you’re in cat form too long and then even after you change back you’re purring and kneading and all that? Unless you want to be like this with Frigga and Odin at dinner…” you explain nervously. You don’t want him to change back, not really: this part of him is so enticing. Ethereal, your own Loki. He’s  _ your _ Loki: the one you don’t have to share with the world. He has this form for you. 

But it could end up hurting him. Like it’s hurt you, over the years.

And god knows that Loki doesn’t need anymore hurt in his life. People have been so cruel to him: you know this. He told you everything. The lies, the pain, the torture, the fires he’s been thrown into. You’ve seen the scars: illusions and healing can’t hide them from you. But you love him anyway. 

And people still call him a villain behind his back. You look at him with love, an expression so different than the throes of passion, and wrap your wings beneath his large ones. You’re now completely enrapped in a cocoon of feathers. He looks at you with a confused expression, and you let go of his mouth. 

“But-” 

“Mon minou, I love you. And I’m still going to love you even if you don’t look like me. You really don’t have to work so hard: I appreciate it, and I love it when you’re like this, but be who you want to be,” 

“I want to be the person you love,” Loki insists. He cleans you up, magics your pants back on. 

“And I love you, no matter what you look like. Okay?” 

“Fine,” Loki sighs, and the wings shrink into his back and the horns melt to nothing. You look at where they used to be with melancholy longing. 

_ Till next time, my Fae.  _

“I can-” Loki suggests, knowing your feelings so incredibly well, but you shake your head. 

“We have to get back. And I don’t think we should tell anyone about the Moors, right?” 

“Most certainly not. I do not wish for them to destroy all your hard work. And they seem… quite happy despite it all,” Loki peers over the tree and into the fields where the fairies frolic with each other. They do seem happy: so very grateful that they have a chance to live again. You find Loki’s hand. 

“I want to bring them all back,” you whisper. 

“You cannot, my love. Not only do you simply not have the energy, but they aren’t all… here. They didn’t all die by the hands of that iron powder,” Loki reminds you. You pout, clenching your jaw. 

“I know. One of these days, I’m going to rip a hole through space and go back in time with a portal and save all of the Fae. I’ll bring ‘em all back,” 

“My sweet, you know I have the utmost faith in you, but I doubt that even you could master time and space. That is the power of an infinity stone, not a single Fae,” 

“I’ve done stranger. At one point, I couldn’t open a single portal without over exerting myself: and now I can astral project if I focus. What’s stopping me from going to new lengths?” you muse to yourself. Loki kisses your forehead, able to do so without moving around his horns. 

“I believe in you, lovely. If you want to wield the power of an infinity stone, then surely you will work until you can,” 

“Thanks, mon minou,” you smile up at him. He stares at you for a moment, a forgotten smile, and then closes his eyes and rises to his feet. Offering you a hand, he takes you back to the palace in just three jumps. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Oh, Lehuka, that wasn't bad at all! Very cute," you say. 
> 
> "Oh, hahahaha. You're going to hate me next week." 
> 
> "Wha?" 
> 
> "Yeah. I'm sorry in advance...." 
> 
> Comments, questions, concerns!!


	41. 3-24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Odin shows his true colours.

Then Aslief takes you away and dresses you furiously, saying that you should have been there an hour ago to get ready. Loki simply forms his own clothes, the elegant Asgardian style you adore, as spring green fabrics and gold lace are flung utop of your body.

When you come out of it, an hour later, you’re wearing a slim dress that hugs your curves and a delightful skirt that begins at the back of your dress and goes to your ankles. It’s like a half-dress, meant for movement. But you’re just going to dinner, aren’t you? Why would you need to run? 

Aslief never picks a wrong dress for an occasion. She must think that you might  _ have  _ to run. Your heart is beating quite fast now, and panic covers you like a heavy blanket. Loki’s hand pulling yours to his lips to kiss pulls you out of spiralling. 

“Dearest, I must ask that you do not worry about it. As you said, perhaps he has changed? And either way, I will be there. You have no reason to worry,” he assures you. You squeeze his pale hand. 

“If you say so. But… if things go south, I’m going home. It’s better than death, and all I can think about it the… the forceful removal of my wings and horns that the Librarian talked about. I’d run to Heimdall and ask for that favor to go home before I let anyone put a hand on my wings,” you hiss. Loki rubs his thumb on your hand. 

“I won’t let that happen. You’ll be able to stay with me,” Loki seems firmly set in his belief, enough so that you feel comfortable in trusting him. That comfort lasts until the doors open of the banquet hall. 

There’s only one long table, four chairs around it. It’s long, very long, and has two seats on each of the far shorter ends and two in the center across from each other. Frigga sits in one of the heads of the table: Odin gives you a blank stare from the other one. A cold blank stare. 

“My son! And my new daughter, please, be seated,” Frigga welcomes warmly, getting up to place a kiss on the cheek of Loki and yourself respectively. Loki smiles at his mother: you can’t feel anything but Odin’s eyes on you. They’re boring into you, and you feel like you’re about to turn to dust. 

“How was your day, my darlings?” she asks cheerfully. You tear your attention away from Odin to talk to Frigga. 

“We went outside,” you say. 

“Yes, it was quite beautiful. We had a most splendid day,” Loki agrees, his I’m-at-a-party smile attached to his mouth. It’s not his real one, any of the real ones, actually. It’s a fake one that he’s made for himself. It’s not Loki’s smile, the one he gave you in the hall. You miss the moments before you were in this room. 

You regret telling Aslief to schedule this dinner. 

“Please, take a seat,” Frigga guides you to your chairs. You’re so far apart from Loki: you used to eat right next to him, close enough to play with his feet underneath the table. Sometimes you’d eat in his lap. 

Now, he’s eating six feet away across the table. And Frigga and Odin are more than twelve feet, respectively. You glance at him worriedly: he shakes his head. 

_ It’ll be okay, my love. It’ll be fine.  _

You can hear his voice like it’s tangible. So, you take a deep breath and plaster on a smile.  “It’s really nice to finally have dinner with you both. Have either of you heard from Thor recently?” And just like that, Odin is so much less brooding. Frigga smiles. 

“Ah yes! We sent him to ensure our ties with Vanahiem were set before you had arrived! They need help vanquishing some sort of beast: I’m sure Thor has already hunted it by now.” Frigga continues talking about Thor until the table is served food. Odin watches you carefully as you take in the large bird that sits on the table. 

“Do you not eat birds? Does your kind consider that uncouth?” Odin sneers. Frigga frowns deeply, Loki shoots a shocked glance to the Allfather. 

“Uh- no, no, it’s fine. We’re different species, you see- it’s just like a Midgardian eating a porkchop,” you squeak. Now this, this is what you were afraid of. 

“Do you have any relatives? Mother, Father?” 

“N-no. It’s just me. But Loki’s been really accommodating and kind to me-” 

“I’m sure he has,” Odin ends the conversation, shutting it down effectively by gesturing to a steward to bring him a leg of chicken. 

Or, what you hope is chicken. You are served some of it: it looks fine, really. You’ve eaten out of trash cans and New York Street Food, you could totally stomach this. You go to pick up the fork, laid neatly on the side of the plate, only to yelp in pain when you touch it. Loki’s chair scrapes back.

Tears spring to your eyes: it’s painful, so very painful, and your hand is covered in what looks like a burn. 

“ _ Ow _ ,” you sob, holding your hand, as you lose feeling in it. It’s a dizzying pain, and you can hardly recognize as Loki kneels by your side and holds your hand in his. He looks desperate, terrified, through the mess of tears marring your vision. You can just barely hear him saying:   


“Darling, my sweet love, can you hear me? Say something, anything, please. Is it poison? Please, let it not be poison, I’m going to heal you now, darling, my love, say something, say your name, say my name, please,” he rambles, green light surrounding his hands as he cups your wound. It feels like your blood, at least in that area, is on  _ fire _ . Like you dipped it into lava. 

“L-Loki, Loki, it hurts really bad, it really hurts-” you whimper, tears running freely down your face. He tuts worriedly, wiping your tears as the pain slowly subsides due to his magic. Once it’s better you look at it: the skin is now unmarred, but your hand still shakes. Loki is trying to catch your eyes, still knelt at your side. 

“Sweetling, is it better? Any lingering pain?” Loki cups your face lovingly. You look up: Frigga looks horrified, standing behind Loki, and Odin hasn't moved at all. Rather, he has donned a little self-satisfied smirk. 

“What was it? I touched the utensils and-” Loki is suddenly simmering with rage as he plucks the fork you were about to take and investigates it. He sneers at it. 

“It’s Asgardian Iron. It burns Fae. Darling, I’m so sorry, I should have-” 

“No no, this is my fault. I had forgotten the weakness of your type. Steward, bring her some new silverware. Iron free, please- can’t have Loki’s little precious lover eating with her hands now can we? She’s had too much of that, I’m sure,” Odin interrupts, waving over someone to trade your plate. Loki blinks at him, shocked by this act of kindness but seemingly blatantly ignoring how backhanded it is. With that, he pecks your lips and returns to his seat on the other side of the table. You glance at Odin as he goes, and what you see confirms your suspicions: he looks… satisfied. Immensely appeased. 

_ He wanted to test if you were still allergic to Asgardian Iron.  _

_ It was a test. He’s playing with you. _

_ And Loki doesn’t notice.  _

The second realization comes just as sudden as the first. 

_ Loki wants to believe that he can fit in here. That he has a place here.  _

And you can’t take that away from him. Loki’s tried so hard to belong. And he’s finally getting somewhere in that regard, people are seeing him as less of Thor’s shadow and more of a person and you can’t take that away from him. You know somethings been going on, that he’s talked about his place here with  _ somebody _ \- the boy’s good at secrets but you can see right through him. Something’s happening, and Loki wants to see it through. 

The decision is easy. You’ll stay as long as you can. 

The dinner drones on. Are you the only one noticing the things Odin’s doing to bring you down? Every word he says, it’s so very clearly a slight towards you. 

_ “I went hunting the other day with the hounds. We caught doves.”  _

_ “Do you ever think about how different our species is from animals like rams? Always thought their horns were the marks of demonism.”  _

_ “I’ve always found mating season quite disgusting. Do those dull creatures honestly need a particular time frame to reproduce? Animalistic, really,”  _

And so many other rude comments that by the time dessert comes around your shoulders are slumped under the weight of the hate demonstrated by one man. Frigga doesn’t seem to understand that it’s rude… and Loki… your Loki, who promised he’d protect you… 

Laughs. Laughs along with Odin. 

You want to cry. You want to break down into little pieces and live on the ground forever. Loki casts you a perplexed look. All you can muster is a watery smile and a wave. He waves back carefully before taking a piece of dessert.  _ Smile,  _ he seems to say.  _ I can’t, not like this. Not while this man defiles me and you do nothing,  _ you wish to respond. 

“Girl, are you familiar with your monstrous ancestors?” Odin remarks, not even looking at you. 

“What?” you squawk. He’d been hiding the insults in the other ones, but this was  _ blatant _ . 

“You know how they danced in filth? They were savages. Honestly, I was shocked you wanted to use silverware at all. I thought your kind couldn’t do that… perhaps that’s one of the reasons I was so shocked when Loki brought you here. Claiming that you were in love. How quaint… I am being sarcastic, of course. It’s horrendous, and a horrible habit. Are you more of a pet? Then I could try and understand. Is Loki unaware that he’s committing beastilaity? Or have you charmed him otherwise?” 

By the end of his little speech, you’re actually crying. How could someone be that cruel? He’s reduced you to no more than a dog. It’s eloquent and horrible and makes you feel infinitesimal. Loki’s stood up, but has made no moves besides that. Frigga glares at her husband. Before he can say anything more about how you were a  _ creature _ you run out of the room, attempting to hide your tears beneath your hand. 

This dress was made for running. 

Loki’s inconsolable call of “Darling!” falls on deaf ears. 

~~~~~   


You slam the door shut behind you. Asleif looks up from the pillow she was fluffing in the sitting room, surprised. She looks at your tear-soaked face horrified; you realize that she’s never seen you cry. 

“Miss? What are you-”

“I’m leaving. I can’t… the king, he’s treating me like an animal. I can’t stay here. He’s already verbally degraded me, I don’t want to sit around on my  _ ass  _ waiting for the worst to come. I’m going home, back to the people who love and care about me. Back to my family,” you sob, wiping your eyes in a futile motion, before going about and grabbing the few items you’ve left out. Aslief obeys, putting a few clothes in the suitcase you’ve brought. You keep swiping at your eyes.    


You’re leaving. You’re leaving Maleficent, and the Moors, and Aslief, and  _ Loki _ . Almost all of your things are away, and you can’t stop crying. 

_ Loki _ . You’re leaving Loki and the life that you could have had here behind. 

As if summoned by your thoughts, the door explodes off of it’s hinges. It wasn’t locked, but it’s blown off anyway. Aslief shrieks, but you don’t even turn around. You know who it is. You hear him whine in a grieving way as he takes in the half-packed suitcase. 

“My p-prince… I’ll just… leave you two be… miss, if you do leave… I will cherish our time together, forever,” Aslief whispers before rushing out of the room, leaving you and Loki alone. 

“I’m leaving,” you murmur, sniffling. There's the thump of Loki falling to his knees. He’s gasping in large breaths. 

“No… please, no. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, please, don’t leave me, please, darling,” he sobs wetly. It’s loud and it’s painful and it’s the most depressing sound you’ve ever heard from his mouth. Loki is… crying? You turn to look at him confusedly. Loki  _ never  _ cries. He’ll have a dry sort of sniffle, and his eyes will water, but never tears. And now… 

They run down his cheeks freely as he chokes on his own sobs. He claws at his throat, then squeezes his hands on his stomach as if he is in pain. He’s raking his hands everywhere, pulling at his hair- it leaves angry red marks. It looks like he’s trying to crawl out of his skin, like it doesn’t fit right anymore. 

“Please, I’m sorry, don’t- don’t leave me alone. Stay, stay, I’ll do whatever you want, you can have anything, please, just stay, I love you, please please please,” he’s begging. Loki’s on his knees, crying, and begging for you not to leave. 

You’re not crying anymore: you’re horrified. Why… Why is he doing this? 

Loki scoots forwards slowly, more of a crawl really on all fours, and tugs on the hem of your dress. You look down at him, paralayzed by shock to do anything but watch it unfold. His eyes are wide and pleading. 

“Do you… -hic- do you want me to be a cat again? I’ll do it, I’ll go back, I’ll go back to the way you want me, please, just stay, look- look- I can do it, see-” and you have no other choice but to watch in fright as Loki shakes and tries to shift. His whole body twitches in a way that looks painful. 

He doesn’t make it. Not completely, at least. All he gets is green cat eyes swamped with tears, fuzzy black cat ears on his dark hair, and a tail popping out from his pants. It’s a look you’ve seen only once before: a moment stuck between two forms. You slowly put a hand over your mouth as Loki tries to meow but only manages to sob more. He gets through half of one before it breaks off, sort of like a “mrrow-hic”. It’s broken, it’s so  _ broken _ , and it hurts your soul. He can’t meet your eyes. 

“I’m trying, I’ll do better, just don’t… don’t leave me alone, don’t leave me, please, I’ll do better, trust me, don’t leave, I’ll do-” 

“Loki, Loki, Loki, stop, stop honey, I won’t leave if you don’t want me to. I’ll stay, okay? I’ll stay,” you finally find your voice and guide Loki towards the bed. Sitting on the side of it, you pat the spot next to you gently for him to come up. Slowly, Loki laxes his death grip on your dress and climbs up. Then, carefully, you turn to Loki and get him to crawl into your lap. 

“That’s it, that’s it, minou. Just like that, that’s it,” Loki’s still shaking and whimpering as you pull him into your lap, curling up into a ball as you rub up and down his back. 

“Don’t leave me, don’t leave me, don’t leave me, don’t leave me-” he whispers under his breath into your shoulder. 

“Loki, my love, if you don’t want me to leave, I won’t. You just… you heard what he said, right? What Odin said about me? You wouldn’t want to stay either,” you tell him. Loki mews quietly. 

“I don’t I don’t want… don’t go without me. Take me with you. I’m… I’m nothing without you. When-when you’re gone I’m… I’m bad. I’m so bad, I’m  _ bad _ , I’m not good. I’m like… like darkness. You- you make me better. Without you, I’m nothing. You’re the best part of me, you can’t leave me, you have to s-s-stay,” Loki grips onto your shirt so tightly: he’s still shaking. You pull back, despite Loki’s sob at the motion. You place your hands on his face, cupping it so he has to look at you. Loki’s lower lip trembles threateningly. 

“Loki,  _ you  _ are the best part of you. You don’t need me to be the best you can be, you can do it yourself. You are more than nothing, so much more. You are  _ Loki _ , God of Mischief and Lies, Silvertongue, rightful heir to Jotunheim  _ and  _ Asgard alike. Don’t say that you’re nothing without me, because that's a lie. And very unhealthy. If you’re nothing without me then perhaps we shouldn’t be together,” 

“No, no,” Loki moans, his hands groping at every part of your body he can reach. 

“Then tell me. What are you without me?” 

“L-Loki. I’m Loki. I’m Loki, please, can I kiss you? Can you hold me? Please, don’t leave, darling, I’m scared, I’m scared, I’m so scared,” he rambles, breathing a sigh of relief as you kiss his forehead and pull him close. His hands knead at your stomach, just like a cat, and his tail dances around your arm. 

“Oh, my sweet minou. I love you very much. I’m sorry I gave you such a fright… but it is not a good idea for me to be here. I don’t want to live in fear of death,” you murmur, massaging the muscles of his back. He purrs deep in his throat at the feeling, and looks up at you with large moon eyes. The lower lip trembles return. 

“Don’t leave me. Don’t leave your kitten behind… please. T-take me with you. I can- I can be on your shoulder or hide in your shirt. I’ll do whatever it takes, but please, don’t leave me where I was before, don't make me go back,” he pleads, tugging at your dress. Using the trick Loki had taught you, you magic his clothes to a pair of pajama pants and a set for you. He protests slightly, mewing in protest before snuggling back into your body. It’s like he’s trying to become one with your skin. 

“Alright, kitten, alright. If you’ll let me, if it’s okay, I’ll take you everywhere. Mon minou, my kitten,” you agree, rhythmically petting his head. He purrs hard, rubbing his head in your hand. You giggle, and he shoots you a look with blown pupils. 

“You like me, you love your kitten. You won’t leave me, never ever,” he smiles hopefully. It’s a smile that conveys joy, but also emptiness. The lights are on, but no one’s home. He’s acting on instincts of the form alone. “You love me, you’ll never abandon me, you won’t let go, you’ll stay with me forever,” 

“I won’t leave you unless it’s necessary, chaton,” you sigh, continuing to brush his hair back. He seems to like that as well.

“Necessary?” he whimpers into your chest, holding on tighter. His tail thrashes worriedly. 

“Well, you wouldn’t want me hurt, would you?” 

“No, no no no. No one hurts my darling. I’ll claw their eyes out, I’ll protect you,” he insists, baring his teeth and claws in a not really threatening way. You can’t help but chuckle: he looks so adamant, in this clearly out-of-it headspace that this experience had put him in, that he’ll be able to defend you. 

You’re not so sure. Odin is the  _ king _ , and Loki is just one man. A very strong magical man who could snap away a whole marching band like it was the easiest thing in the whole world- but not the Allfather. If he really goes to hurt you- the best option would be to leave. The only real question is… is Loki going to come with you if you had to leave?

He’s finally fitting in here. Will he want to go back into exile? To be with you? You can’t imagine it: if you were in his position, you might just stay here. You haven’t worked for hundreds of years on a singular goal. Who would give up that chance? 

But he’s in your lap now, snuggling in desperately and his hands massaging your chest, and you can’t help but kiss his forehead. This cat thing could very easily be be a sex thing, but for now, it’s just a desperate play for comfort. Loki needs  _ comfort _ . 

“I’m sure you will, kitten. I’m very tired now… you wanna go to sleep now? I let you sleep with me,” you tease him with a boop on his nose. His tail curves excitedly as he nods. You lift the blanket and save room for him to nestle in your side. 

“M-M-M-Master,” Loki stutters. It’s surprising: you only do that when you’re trying to dominate him, teasing him during sex, and the way he stumbles through the word makes you understand quite easily that he’s only doing it to please you. 

“Hey, what’s that doing out of the bedroom?” 

“I love you- a-and thank you for… for not leaving me. I don’t deserve your kindness. Master.” Loki’s starting to tear up again, though he attempts to hide it by nuzzling your chest. 

“Oh, my sweet kitten. You don’t have to say things like that, things you think I’ll like, to get me to stay. I know you said you do anything, but you don’t have to do anything out of the ordinary for me. I really do love you very much. I fear this is because I did not say it sooner, that I love you so, but I do. I really do. You don’t have to thank me for not leaving, it’s not something to thank me for: you should understand that I’m staying for you, and only you,” 

“Mhmm,” Loki smiles toothily. You scratch his ears, and listen to him purr. Calm washes over both of you, partially because of how you expel it discreetly. He’d never rest otherwise, and Loki needs energy if he’s going to overcome his senses. 

After a few moments of this ‘calm’, you can tell Loki can’t go to sleep. He shifts and moves his feet together with yours, struggling to get comfortable. He’s squirming in your hold with soft mews escaping now and then. 

“Minou, you’re still awake, aren’t you,” you note kindly. 

“I can’t- I can’t fall asleep. If I fall asleep you might leave and I’m frightened because I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to wake up and you to be gone and I’m scared, because what if you leave when I’m asleep or what- what if someone takes you, no, I can’t, please, not you- I’m scared, I’m scared. You’re home, going to you is home, home, please, no I can’t lose you again, I’m so scared, please,” he blubbers. You gasp in the fear in his voice. You hold him even closer, wrap your wings around his form as he sniffles. Tears are budding in his eyes again: you wipe them away with a finger.. 

“Shh, shh, don’t cry kitten, I know, but- look, look, now there’s no way I can leave. I’m all around you now,” you smile. Loki looks up at it in awe, wiping his eyes. You watch as he paws at the feathers like the curious cat he is. Taking him in your arms, you begin to sing to him softly as you pet his hair. 

“Welcome to your life… there's no turning back. Even while we sleep, we will find you acting on your best behavior, turn your back on mother nature, everybody wants to rule the world,” the song is not meant to be a lullaby, it’s very powerful and upbeat, but you sing it so softly and slowly that it feels that way. Loki purrs quietly, the rumbling in his chest lethargic. You’re still petting his back, which lulls him to sleep little by little. 

“It's my own design… It's my own remorse. Help me to decide, Help me make the most of freedom and of pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever, Everybody wants to rule the world…” Loki’s very nearly asleep. His tail flits lazily around your calf, tickling a little bit, and his ear flick at nothing. His eyes… his eyes watch you fixedly, as though they fear if they don’t you will disappear. You brush your hand over his head, and he meows airily. His eyelids start to droop as you scratch a nice spot on his head. 

“There's a room where the light won't find you- holding hands while the walls come tumbling down. When they do, I'll be right behind you… So glad we've almost made it, so sad they had to fade it- Everybody wants to rule the world. I can't stand this indecision, married with a lack of vision, everybody wants to rule the world....” 

“You won’t leave if I fall asleep, right?” Loki whispers forlornly. You shake your head, kiss his crown. “Good, good, stay, stay,” he sniffs. 

“Say that you'll never, never, never, need it. One headline, why believe it? Everybody wants to rule the world… All for freedom and for pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever: Everybody wants to rule the world,” you whisper in his ear as he sleeps soundly now. Loki’s nose twitches, and he snuggles even closer. 

Sighing, you adjust the blankets one last time before falling asleep yourself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the angst I promised. Hope you enjoyed! Heheheheh. 
> 
> Comments, questions, concerns!


	42. 3-25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki begins the long path to making things up to you.

You’re shocked awake in the middle of the night, because the bed is empty when you move to the side. Sitting up, you glance about worriedly.  _ Where did Loki go? _

And then, you hear the barely audible sobs from the bathroom. It’s a slow rise to get out of this comfortable bed and pad over to where the noises are coming from. Loki’s holding onto the sink so hard that it looks like it’s cracking, and the sounds are more gasp for air sadly than a sob. His whole body is shaking, trembling. 

“Loki? Are you okay?” you whisper from the doorframe. 

He gasps again, stands stock still, and turns around. All of a sudden, he’s smiling and bright, waving his hands in front of him. His hair is perfectly in place, and his clothes are not askew at all. 

“Yes, surely, I’m fine, go back to bed,” 

It’s an illusion. A really good one, but that doesn’t matter.

“Drop the illusion minou. It’s useless,” you sigh. He complies, the smiley happy Loki dissipating to reveal a sobbing (normal, not half Cat) Loki who looks so messy, so not elegant like normal, you almost step back in shock. He runs a hand through his hair. 

“I’m sorry- I just- I didn’t mean to lose control like that- I couldn’t- I thought you were really going to leave. I thought this was it,” he weeps, holding himself ashamedly. “I wasn’t trying to- I lost all sense of self, I couldn’t… I could manage it before but I was so terrified- I’m so disgusted that I-I can’t be strong I’m  _ weak _ \- I’m sorry you don’t need to hear this-” 

You break him off with a chaste kiss: really just a press of lips. He lets out a small whimper as you wrap your arms around him. 

“I should have waited for you to come back before jumping to leave. I know even if Odin’s horrible to me, you are loving and sweet and doting. I should have talked to you first. I’m sorry for scaring you so badly,” you coo at him, squeezing tighter around his waist. His arms flutter down to hold you, so very carefully and unsure. 

“I really… I thought you were going to leave me. I was so scared. It was so scary- I can’t lose you. Not on top of everything else,” Loki murmurs, resting his chin in your hair. 

“Can you tell me why?” 

“Why what? Why I broke down?” 

“No. Why you didn’t protect me like you said you would. Why you let your ‘father’ drag me through the dirt,” you say, raising your gaze to meet him. Loki shudders, closing his eyes. He gasps for air before answering you. It’s saddening to watch, but you need the answer. It will only become worse if you leave it be. 

“I… I didn’t want to accept it.” 

“Accept what?” 

“Accept that he hadn’t changed. I wanted to excuse it as random thoughtless quips not-”

“Not intentionally being crude. Not being selective and crude and vile,” you finish. 

“I should have stepped in earlier. Should’ve- should’ve stopped him, and then you would  _ stay _ , I need you to stay-” 

“Loki, you’re getting hysterical again: breathe. I’m not going anywhere,” you pinch his cheeks lightly, but hard enough to get him to snap back. He blushes bashfully. 

“Apologies.” 

And for a moment, you’re holding Loki and he’s holding you and everything is fine. He doesn’t change, no matter where you are: Loki stays the same. Then, Loki, whispers: 

“Next time, I won’t let things get this far. I’ll tear him to shreds before he says one word about you, my precious girl. I almost lost you today,” 

“There’s not going to be a next time. Right?” you look at him again, steely eyed. Loki shakes his head vehemently. 

“I won’t let it happen. And then we don’t have to have this conversation ever again. My love is yours, darling. I cannot be truly happy without you, I fear. I will never betray you again. I swear on my life, trust me,” Loki pledges, taking your hands in his. He’s still shaking a little bit. 

“I trust you Loki. I trust you,” you assure him. His shoulders slump in reaction to your omission, sensing how the truth is bent heavily. You take his hand in yours, and tug him out of the bathroom. “Let’s go back to bed, mon minou. It’s been a long day,” 

Finally, you can rest your head on Loki’s chest, and he can hold you tight to it. 

“I’m not letting you go ever again,” he whispers, his last thought, before passing out. You close your eyes and frown slightly. 

You used to trust the things he said. It’s no longer as promising- he may have not lied to your face but he did betray your trust. 

But he’s trying, and you love him very much: and you don’t want to see him fall over himself trying to make it up to you. Or murder, for that matter. Best let him believe that you still believe in his word. 

~~~~

When the morning comes, you almost don’t want to move. 

This is going to be rough. This is going to be hard. You’ve faced hardships before: you’ve survived it and more. You can do this: right? Before there was the chance of Loki coming to save you, to rescue you, to be on your team. Now… that seems quite iffy, no matter what he says. You shift in bed to face him. 

He’s so beautiful. Sleeping soundly, one arm wrapped around you still, breathing steadily. 

You may just have to work through this alone. Without him. It’s a frightening thought: it’s been  _ two years _ since he entered your life. It’s not like you can’t remember fighting alone: it’s just that you’ve gotten used to having a partner in crime. 

_ Trust me _ , he had said. You’d place your life in his hands, he loves you, you know he does- but, he also loved this life, once. The life he had in Asgard. And he loved the idea of making waves himself instead of being caught by the ones made by Odin and Thor. 

Does he love you more? If you didn’t love him, if you didn’t return his feelings, would he say he loved that dream more than you? 

You aren’t seriously getting jealous of a goal that your boyfriend has, are you?  _ This is beyond petty. If he says it won’t happen again, it won’t happen again. It’s not like this has happened before, either. He’s always been protective and kind and makes sure that the people who were crude got hurt and that you were okay.  _

“Oh thank the Norns- you’re still here. You’re still beside me, oh, darling, I’m so very sorry. I will grovel at your feet for your forgiveness,” Loki’s woken up while you internally monologued, and touches your face gently as if to make sure you’re really there. 

“Why wouldn’t I be here? We talked, didn’t we?” 

“I- I worried that it was merely desperate figments of my imagination, not based in fact. I thought I would wake up- and you would be gone already,” he whispers, tracing the curve of your neck. You attempt a smile. 

“I don’t think I could have gone through with it either,” Loki investigates your face, a small frown on his features, before kissing your hairline and bringing you in for another hug. You breathe in his scent, take big gulps of it, and shudder as you inhale. 

“Yesterday was hard. But today is a new day, my love, and we will do so many beautiful things that it will fade away to nothing. I will make you forget that horrible thing ever happened, smother it in love,” he vows, you look away. “What makes you shy away from me, my dear? And what may I do, what lengths do I go to, so you will meet eyes with me once again? My beautiful girl, you are breaking my heart.” 

“I’m not trying to, I swear. I just- I feel  _ betrayed,  _ Loki. I feel for the first time with you,  _ secondary _ ,” 

Loki’s so taken aback that his hands let go of your shoulders. You take this as a sign of agreement, and turn away. 

“No,  _ no _ . You are not secondary. You are first, the center of my heart and mind and soul-” 

“How am I supposed to believe you, now? You sat there, chatting, as Odin made me feel- made me out to be- made me seem  _ insignificant _ . Made me seem no more than a… a horse or a pigeon or something,” you sniffle. 

Loki sighs. 

“I have excuses. I have lies. I have so many things I can say, but none of them make up for not defending your honor. Honestly: I did not wish to acknowledge them. I have spent many years hearing insults like those directed at me. Based on my fluidity of gender. Based off of my affections not hindered by sex. My fighting skills. My silvertongue. My shapeshifting. Perhaps I have grown dull to them, perhaps that’s why I didn’t jump to defend you. But I am sorry. And I can truly promise you that it will not happen again. I would sooner beat Odin to death than I will let you be mocked once more. You deserve so much more than that, my love. You deserve the world, and I allowed you to be treated like a common whore. I apologize, from the deepest parts of my soul. Do you believe me now?” 

“I want to, I really do but-” 

Loki surges towards you, in one swift motion moving you so you’re nose to nose, and kisses you soundly. Tongue darting, teeth scraping, the taste of Loki invading your mouth like he had so many times before. He pulls back, his eyes searching. 

“If you cannot believe my words, for they have wronged you before, believe my actions. Please, my love, understand that this will never happen again. I will put you first, before me. Before my ideologies. For you are so much more than that,” 

“You’re a real flirt, you know that?” you chuckle, rubbing your eyes a bit. 

“It is nothing but truth, my dearest. I have given you reason to distrust me, and for that I am ashamed- but I won’t make the same mistake again,” 

“Okay. I believe you, mon minou. If only because this was your first offense,” you smile at him, a real smile, and Loki looks so wonderfully relieved that you kiss his forehead. 

“Thank you, my love. Now, there is a market today: would you like to accompany me there? We could get some clothing, delicacies, and other items. How does that sound?” 

“Sounds good, mon minou,” you chirp, clinging to him as he rises out of bed, forcing him to carry you bridal style. He can’t help but laugh as you latch on like a koala and refuse to let go until you both land in the bath despite your clothes. 

“Look, now our clothes are all wet,” Loki reprimands teasingly. You shrug, blameless, and start to shuck them off.

“Hey, they were going off one way or another,” you smirk. Loki’s eyes are alight with amusement as he begins to take you in the bath. 

~~~~~

It’s nearly two hours later by the time you finally make it to the marketplace. Aslief hugged you and cried when she saw that you were still here: Frigga did too, but much more gracefully. She apologized on behalf of her husband, agreeing that it was not only completely out of line but incredibly wrong and conceited. Loki glared at his mother the whole time, the air around him cold and hateful. 

His hand held yours the whole time as he stared her down. 

“She almost left me because of Allfather’s antics,” he growled, pulling you closer to him. 

“I will rein him in myself if the event ever seems to reoccur,” she complied easily, saying exactly what she needed to. It appears that Loki’s perceptivity was inherited. 

And now, the market is alight with sunshine and laughing children, and the happiness is infectious. Loki knew exactly what would cheer you up: and it’s this. It feels like the July 4th carnival you had with the library what feels like ages ago, and the joyous memory lifts your spirits. 

And if you’re happy, Loki’s happy. 

The stalls are filled with incredible items: a compass that will work on any realm to lead you home, parchment that erases itself after its message has been seen, potions to heal boils and rashes and disappear scars, and so much more. Swords, crossbows, even a single naginata in the weaponry booth. Nothing like yours though: not nearly as alive. Then, there’s the music shop. 

It’s centered in a tent made of purple and gold fabric, and when you enter inside, a beautiful chime alerts the owner of your presence. Musical instruments line shelves, hang from the ceiling: intricate guitars made of metal, golden harps, tortoise shell lyres and wooden flutes. 

“This is where I got your guitar, darling. What are the odds that you find yourself back here?” Loki raises an eyebrow. 

“Well, I really love that guitar,” you murmur, looking closer at the store's wares. There’s a loud crashing from behind a curtain, and a man comes shooting out. He’s very animated: on the younger side, but as exuberant as a child. His eyes are an odd colour of gold, and his brown hair is pulled up into a top knot tied with a ribbon the same colour. 

“Why hello there, Prince Loki! And hello to you too! You must be the Fae the prince is courting, oh my oh my as beautiful as I imagined- a pleasure to meet you, this is my shop, I’m Brio, you can call me Music Man, or Bri, or just Brio, whatever you wish,” he shakes your hand wildly, and gives an energetic bow to Loki. “What are you interested in? I can play a tune on any of these, if you’d like, they are all very high quality, I promise!” Brio smiles wide, crossing his fingers to aid in his honesty. 

“They are certainly very beautiful. Are they enchanted, like the guitar Loki got for me?” you question, running your hand over what you think may be a mbira. “And why are there Midgardian instruments on Asgard?” 

“Well, to your first quandary, not all of the instruments are enchanted- ha! Of course, those cost more!! Very tricky, very expensive to make magical instruments. My father, he says, why are you spending coin on enchanting a piano key? That should be saved for swords and arrows and all that- no creativity, that one. But yes yes, I have the enchanted pieces, I can show you them, if you wish. I just had the idea for a violin that when you play it, it grows flowers! Not the violin itself, ha ha ha, but around the area! Such a graceful instrument deserves a graceful ability, wouldn’t you say?” 

You and Loki have no room to say anything, so you just nod. Brio’s smile grows in brightness: you return it, and Loki squints. 

“Alright alright, I won’t bore you with more of those details- you asked why we have Midgardian instruments? Well, we have all kinds of instruments from all the realms! Interdimesntional products, that’s us!! You want those wicked hell-drums from Muspellhiem? Got three sizes! Those wind pipes made from perpetual ice from Niflheim? One left, get it before it goes out of stock! Oh, would you like to see them? They’re so amazing, I’ve just mastered the giant horn from Jotunheim, very hard for a simply Asgardian like me to use, but I pay it no mind: I chose this life, I will figure out how to use the horn of Jotuns if it’s the last thing that I do!” Brio shoots you an energetic thumbs up, which you return, giggling. 

“Why do you laugh so, my lady,” Brio teases, eyes mirthful, “I was told that this was a standard Midgardian greeting!” 

“Oh it is, it is,” you smile, “want to learn some other things?” 

“Sparrow, you know that I’d love to! Tell you what, I’ll teach you to play one of the instruments in the store if you can get me acting like a real Midgardian. Sounds good?” he teases. You nod excitedly. Loki frowns. 

“No, Brio, you must accept payment: I cannot allow this store to close on my account,” Loki presses. Brio places a hand to his chest dramatically. 

“Oh my prince! So kind, so chivalrous! Truly, that silvertongue is a thing of majesty. But alas! No, it is the least I could do for such a sweet lovely girl you have. And a lover of music, I know! From how you gush about her now and then, I know full well she has the voice of angels,” Brio feigns a swoon while Loki reddens. 

“He talked about me to you?” 

“Yes, when he snuck in to purchase your instrument! So funny, he wore an illusion but stripped the moment he was inside! Made me clear out the store no less: he had to pay extra for the loss of potential sales,” 

_ “There was nobody in the store, you fiend _ ,” Loki hisses. 

“Hmm, I do not recall that, there must have been- then he forced me to go and show him all the best instruments, then all the best guitars, and then  _ even more  _ all the best magical guitars. So bossy, that one- oops, shouldn’t be talking slack about the prince, especially while he’s in the room, hehe- but yes, and he  _ rambled,  _ oh Norns,  _ the rambling-  _ it was a right monologue! Oh, she’s so pretty- Oh, the most sensational singer- Oh Brio, you’re the best shopkeeper in this whole place- She’s the absolute best-” 

“What did you say in the middle?” Loki barks at Brio, who looks on innocently and taps his chin. You can’t help but giggle.  _ He’s such an actor… Brio would get along with Josh all too well.  _ The thought arises: could you kidnap Brio and bring him to Midgard? He seems to like the customs, and he could certainly start a music shop. There just happens to be an empty retail spot a block away from the library when the cafe there closed down… and now you’re plotting.  _ Josh has been looking for a guy as long as I can remember. They’re all either assholes, pervs, or simply boring according to him: but Brio is funny, and energetic, and upbeat. Not to mention that it seems like he’s got a toned body, just from how he moves and how his clothes fit and all that instrument work. And if Loki trusts him enough to reveal his identity to buy an instrument from him, he’s got to be a trustworthy person too. But is he attracted to guys...?  _

_ I could just ask.  _

_ No, no- better to ease into it, get a conversation going about Midgardian customs and then pop the question. Did Loki say that homosexuality or being trans was looked down upon in Asgard? It was one of the two…  _

“Hey, little sparrow- you zoned off for a little while! Are you okay?” Brio grins, tapping your forehead. You grin. 

“Yeah, I’m good!! Just thinking. You want to learn some Midgardian stuff, right? I live in this one… continent called North America, and in North America there’s this country called the United States. In the US, there’s a state called New York, and in New York, I live in New York City. It’s where Thor goes as well as Loki: all in New York City. Does that make sense?” explaining all of this to someone who lives on a planet that is all under one ruler is harder than one would think. Brio nods thoughtfully. 

“So, a continent is like a little realm, and in the realms there are different places ruled by different people, and in those places there are individual towns. Yes?” 

“Pretty much, yeah,” you cheerfully raise your hand up. He looks at it confusedly, gesturing around it. 

“What is this?” 

“Oh! It’s a high five. Here, I’ll demonstrate with Loki,” you raise your hand to him, to which Loki proudly slaps it. He puffs out his chest haughtily. 

“I learned many things about Midgard during my travels. It may smell bad, and is quite unhygienic, but they have very good food. Banquets in markets- contained environments like magic- there are many beautiful things alongside the filth. My darling has shown me many of them,” Loki looks mighty proud of himself, almost arrogant in the way he holds the information over his head. Brio looks at him in awe. 

“Wow, Midgard sounds so fun! I’ve only ever lived here: all the instruments from other lands are imported,” Brio sighs forlornly, raising a hand to his forehead dramatically once more. 

“You should come with me to Midgard!” you say, glad that you found a way to weave it into conversation. Brio’s eyes go comically large. 

“ _ Reeeeally? _ You’d take little ol’ me?” he drags out his words wondrously. 

“Yeah, why not? I have a friend who’d really like you, actually,” 

“Aww, but my shop-” 

“Take it with you! You could have such a cool store on Midgard, and the instruments from other realms would sell well as ‘inventions from other worlds’,” you put air quotes around other worlds: he could market them as they are and people would take it as part of a shtick. Brio claps his hands together, and grabs your shoulders.

“I can see it now: So much money to be made! So many instruments to sell! I’ll be  _ infamous _ !” Brio’s so ecstatic about this idea: this seems to be a good one too. You both look to Loki with pleading eyes and pouty lips. 

“What do you want me to do with this?” he sighs, “I don’t think my disapproval will stop either of you at this point,” 

You and Brio both chime in with a “Nope!”

You present your hand, and he slaps it in a solid high five. His eyes light up as he remembers something. 

“Hey! I promised you, little sparrow, an instrument, didn’t I?” 

“No no, you don’t have to-” 

“Pssht, I insist. For the lovely lady who is taking me to worlds I never thought I’d see,” Brio presents to you the violin he’d mentioned before, the one that makes flowers grow. 

“We can’t accept this, Brio. This is too much,” Loki says what you’re both thinking, putting a hand on the small of your back. Brio laughs heartily. 

“Don’t worry about it: if I’m going to Midgard, the cash is going to roll in. I wouldn’t be able to sell this anyway: it’s enchanted, remember? And I heard that Fae can make flowers grow all on their own. So it is not only a gift, but one that it is more fitting than anything else in the store. And, you can come do lessons with me to learn how to use it,” Brio smiles brightly, “Our prince can go outside and buy a nice little treat for you, sparrow, and I’ll wrap it up for you,” he winks. Loki glares at him, as if to threaten death if he makes a move, before waving to you and leaving to pick up some Asgardian sweet. Brio shoos him out the tent flap. 

Brio quickly finds the violin: truly a thing of beauty, wood the hue of caramel, with strings of gold. He grins, seeing you admire it. 

“Gorgeous thing, isn’t it? Now, what were you plotting over there while I was teasing the prince? Come on, spill,” Brio smiles, resting his chin in his hands by the cash register. 

“Okay, this might sound weird, but are you single?” 

“Ooh, prince boy is  _ not gonna like that _ ,” Brio cackles, wiping a tear from his eye despite your frantic ‘no, you’ve got it all wrong’, “And either way, sorry sparrow, but I don’t swing that way,” 

“You like guys?” 

“Mhmm,” Brio nods, making sure that the violin is all in order. “That’s one of the reasons why my shop doesn’t get as much attention as she rightfully deserves, this delightful girl. Asgard isn’t the worst about romance between two men, or two women, but we’re certainly not scot-free. A lot of us hide it for the benefit of our businesses- I don’t care about all that, so I do what I wish,” 

“Well, Midgard’s a little different, a little the same. New York’s pretty good about it: other places aren’t,” 

Brio blows air through his teeth. “Eh, I don’t care. I’m excited to see somewhere new, anyhow,” 

“I’m glad!! Speaking of, one of my friends, his name is Josh-” 

“What an odd name,” Brio snorts, finally almost done ringing you up. 

“Hah, not in Midgard. You’re going to have so much fun, if you get a kick out of the name Josh. Anyhow, he’s been looking for a solid guy- I’m not asking for you to go out of your way and seduce him or something but maybe I’ll set you two up on a date? I think your personalities will mesh really well. You’re energetic, and he’s upbeat, and you guys would have fun together,” 

Brio taps his chin thoughtfully. 

“Certainly has been a while since I saw any sort of action. I’ll take you up on your offer, little sparrow, if only because it is heartwarming to see you think of your friends even when on a different planet,” Brio hands you the soundly wrapped instrument with a wide grin. “I hope that one day I will be seen the same way.” 

“Whelp, you’re well on your way. Can I have your address, so that when we leave for Midgard, I can bring you along? And is there any way to pack your wares?” 

“I live here, in the tent- seemed easier to be here to make sure no one steals any of my precious instruments than to be somewhere else. I have acquired a pocket dimension to store the instruments in, so that shouldn’t be a problem either. I’m super mobile, and really excited. Thank you for inviting me once more, sparrow,” 

“Aww, you’re welcome, Brio,” you grasps his hands across the table. He takes them and ruffles your hair. 

“Don’t aw at me- you’re the cute one,” he teases. Of course, just then, Loki comes through the flap. You both turn to the doorway, Brio’s hand on your hand and the other one holding yours. Frost starts climbing at the edge of the tent before Loki launches himself at you and tears you away from the shopkeep. You’re thrown over his shoulder with one arm. 

“Mine! She’s mine, betrayer,” Loki hisses at him, baring his teeth. Brio laughs nervously and backs up. 

“Loki, Loki, minou- love, he wasn’t trying to make any moves on me, I swear. We were just talking,” you press, tapping his shoulders to let you down. 

“ _ Talking doesn’t involve touching- he has no right to lay hands on you- _ ” Loki growls, hands lighting with green even as he lets you down to the ground. 

“Loki, come on now. Other people can touch me: it’s an affectionate gesture from a new friend,” 

“My prince, if I’m not allowed to touch your beloved I will cope-” Brio attempts to defuse Loki’s explosive anger, met only with another snarl. 

“ _ Mine _ ,” Loki glares murderously at Brio. 

“Yes, rawr, mine, I understand, I do not want to take her romantically, do not worry tiger, I will not take her, heh, please stop looking at me like you want to kill me,” Brio sighs. You press a kiss to Loki’s cheek, and smile at him. He blinks and looks down at your smile as he relaxes. 

“There he is. Don’t worry, mon minou, Brio’s not interested in me at all. In his words, he doesn’t swing that way. Understand?” Loki nods bashfully. “Now apologize.” 

“Yes, yes… apologies, Brio. I have been on edge recently,” Loki sighs, gesturing to the shocked man who looks on the edge of laughter. You hand him the bag with the violin, to which he disappears it into his pocket dimension. 

“Y-yeah, I can tell-” Brio stutters, on the edge of chortling. Loki casts him another murderous glare. You tap his shoulder. 

“Did you get something for me?” you ask, a distraction but also genuine curiosity. 

“Oh! Yes, I did. Would you like to check with the Moors and eat it on the way there?” Loki suggests with a small smile. 

“Sounds fantastic, Loki-Love,” you chirp. Loki blushes, Brio makes a gagging motion. 

_ On second thought- he’d get along fabulously with Clint and Sam.  _

You wave delightedly to Brio, who will be waiting on standby for you to come by and pick him up, and grasp Loki’s hand as you head out to the outskirts of Asgard and towards the Moors. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE ALMOST AT THE END OF PART THREE! SOUND THE ALARMS! BLOW THE HORNS! 
> 
> I'll be finishing writing the final part this week, and then take a brief hiatus. You probably won't even see it, since I have a bunch of writing stored up, but letting you know just in case. 
> 
> And also, I loved writing Brio. Let me know if you want to see more of him, or if you enjoyed him as much as I did. 
> 
> Comments questions concerns!


	43. 3-26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki continues to attempt to make up for his misdeeds.

The food he’s picked up for you is sugary, filled with some sort of cream and dusted with crystals that individually taste like brownies. It’s incredible, and you end up eating both yours and Loki’s. When he saw that you enjoyed them, so he offered you his: and who are you to disagree with that? 

“Are you happy?” Loki asks, out of the blue. You’re less than a mile out from the Moors. 

“Uh, yeah? Why? Are you unhappy?” 

“No- I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life, but… I worry that it is too much for you. That I am a burden,” 

“ _ No!  _ No, no, you are most certainly not a burden. If I ever feel unhappy or uncomfortable, you reach out and try to change it. You want me to be happy, and that’s enough to make it happen. And if you’re talking about last night: we all have hard moments sometimes. I’ve cried, and you’ve cried, and we’ve all cried. But more importantly, we’ve smiled more than we’ve sobbed and we’ve laughed more than we’ve seen tears running down our cheeks. That’s enough to speak for itself, not to mention that most of the time I cry when I’m with you it’s not your fault at all. Usually, you’re looking out for me and I take it the wrong way. Perhaps that’s why last night was so rough on me. Because it was so different from anything I’ve ever experienced with you.” 

“Well, it will not happen again,” 

“If you say so,” you oblige him. He stops, stands in front of you so you have to stop to not run headfirst into his chest. Then, he bends down to your level and holds your head in his hands. 

“ _ Never again. I will never, ever, hurt you like that again. Every inch of my soul loves you, and I will not stand idly by. If Odin tries to do anything like what he pulled yesterday, I’m sending you home. I will not let you be hurt.”  _

“But- then you won’t be able to be with me, you can’t just leave-”

“But you will be safe. A-and, if it means that I have to spend a few days away from you, I will cope, because it means you are safe. How horrified, how betrayed, how sick you looked as you  _ fled _ you  _ fled from me, _ yesterday- it broke me. It broke my heart into little pieces and that broke me. I will never hurt you again. Never give you reason to be that- that- inconsolable. You wanted to leave- hoo, you wanted to leave me, and it was due to my own folly. I am not going to make that mistake again,” Loki is adamant in this. As you look at his face, making absolutely sure that he’s fully behind this, you watch as his face flickers. It shifts, becoming different in rapid succession until the only thing staying the same is the sense that it’s him and the green eyes that bore into you even when they glow red. “Every part of me, my love. Every inch of my being is going to put you first. Believe me now,” 

“O-okay. I do, I believe you,” you nod, as much as you can with his hands clasping your face so tightly, and he sets his face back to regular. Or, what he prefers, you presume. Then, a tender kiss is gingerly pressed to your lips. 

“I love you very much, and I do not wish to hurt you. It pains me to see you having to deal with strife. I’d do anything to help you distract yourself, to help you fix it: because seeing you- nay, just hearing you cry, makes my whole body hurt with such searing pain that I can only think about making you laugh again,” he finishes. You smile at him, and pinch his cheek. 

“How did I end up with such a considerate man who genuinely wants me to be happy? How lucky am I?” you start walking again, confident in Loki once more. 

~~~~~

Thankfully, the Moors were just as productive as you left it the day before. The fairies there were ecstatic about your return so soon, and wanted you to stay: of which Loki growled and they jumped back frightenedly. One of the Mushroom Fairies had apparently found a way to slowly rejuvenate the other Fairies that had fallen due to iron dust using a mixture of a new fruit discovered in the Moors and just a touch of magic. It takes a few hours but is effective: and the Moors are now in full swing. 

They are no longer empty. The ground feels full and joyous, and is so delighted that flowers pop up wherever you step. It’s enchanting, certainly, if not a bit overwhelming. The fairies throw petals as you walk, attach themselves to your legs, and flit around your horns. Loki tries to shoo them away: they stick their tongues out at him and go closer. 

“I’m not sharing her with you, you pests!” he protests, to which you pout. 

“It’s alright, they’re harmless,” you laugh, taking a small Hedgehog Fairy in your hands and petting her tiny head. 

“But…” Loki starts. In your mind you finish with “ _ I want attention too _ ”. 

“I mean… you can shift and play too-” 

You had meant Fae, but instead Loki takes to the most sentimental of forms: Lokitty. Still, you cannot hide your squeal of excitement as he rubs your ankles lovingly. Briefly you remember Loki in half-cat form, sobbing uncontrollably and making painful half-meows, and your heart aches. Lokitty mews, scratching at your leg to distract you. Even the fairies hanging off you twitter and coo. 

“Mew? Mew, mew mew, mrrow?” Lokitty choruses attention-seeking meows. You snap out of your thoughts, bending down to pick him up in your arms. Lokitty rolls around in your arms, purring as he nestles in your arms. You can’t help but giggle at how wide his eyes are. 

“You’re the most precious baby, aren’t you? No ones better than you, huh? You’ll always be my favorite,” you coo, tickling his stomach adoringly. Lokitty meows happily: he’s spoiled, that one. The fairies protest as you lift him so you’re nose to nose and boop them together. 

Lokitty can’t seem to hold his form, because he suddenly shifts back to Asgardian form and plants a passionate kiss on your lips. His lips are pressed against your lips, sliding together over and over, and his hands rove to hold your back whereas yours hold that delightful ass. It’s a kiss that’s new, the ones that he’s been handing out like candy canes since you told him you loved him. Powerful, all-consuming things, that make you feel as though his lips will swallow you up. Some of the fairies zoom away, others jeer. 

When he finally gives you time to breathe, he looks apologetic. 

“Sorry- I… I love you so much. My heart felt like it was going to explode, I couldn’t stay in the form where I couldn’t take you with all my energy at once,” Loki murmurs. 

“Am I never going to be able to hold Lokitty again?” you ask sadly. Loki overreacts immediately. 

“No no no, of course not. I’ll do anything you want: would Lokitty make you happy? Do you want me to change back? Because I can-” 

You kiss him sweetly. 

“EIther way, I’m happy to be with you. I’m safe, and I’m loved, and I’m comfortable. What more could I ask for?” Loki chuckles at the statement and draws you close. He presses your foreheads together and swats away the awwing fairies with a hiss and a clawed hand. 

“What more could I ask for… I can’t wait to marry you, my darling. I want to spend the rest of our lives together,” he smiles to himself in the way that is evident that he’s been dreaming about this for a while now. 

“Well, what are we waiting for? I’d say yes,” you poke his cheek. His expression is  _ comically  _ shocked. 

“ _ You’d say yes?  _ Wha- I- wow, I- I think I need a moment to process that. Just-  _ she’ll marry me, hah _ ,” Loki’s amazingly flustered, his face a shade of red you didn’t think Frost Giants could turn, and paces away into the distance a bit. 

You giggle, reaching up to pluck one of the Hedgehog fairies. 

“I think he’s a little excited, huh? Looks like you’ll be getting an official Master of the Moors soon.” 

The Hedgehog, who you’ve dubbed Aspen after the trees in the clearing, snorts behind their tiny hands which breaks out into a full cackle. 

“It’s pretty funny, isn’t it? You think he has a chance with me?” 

Aspen shakes their head vehemently. 

“Yeah, he doesn’t think so either. Convinced himself of it. That’s why he’s so shocked, I guess: thought it would be harder. Thing is, I’m pretty easy to please. Any standards I had, he blew out of the water. The pampering, the sweet gestures- not to mention the physical bits. How can any mortal man compare to a god?”

Aspen puffs their chest and points at themselves. 

“Oh, you think you could do better?” 

They nod yes. 

“Well, what would we do?” 

They make a thinking face. Then, they mime water. 

“Oh, swimming? That sounds nice. He’s never taken me swimming. I’d like to go to a tropical beach,” 

Loki, a dozen or so feet away, perks up his ear and listens in. You wink at him before turning back to Aspen. They act out taking you to a restaurant, gesturing to the sky afterwards. You don’t know sign language or anything, but Aspen seems proficient enough in charades that it gets the idea across. 

“Ooh, dinner under the stars. Sounds absolutely splendid. We’ve done that before, but it was more hot dogs under the moonlight than a romantic candlelight dinner. Anything else? I think Loki’s taking notes,” 

Loki is in fact listening quite intently. Aspen shakes their butt at him, as if to say, ‘suck it, loser’. Loki snarls, but you wave him off. 

“Well?”   


Aspen makes a kissy face, and moves their arms around in mockery of a heated embrace. 

“Ooh!  _ Aspen,  _ how naughty! Where did you learn that??” 

She points at you and Loki with a shrewd expression. Then another lewd motion, then to the large tree that you thought had been completely shrouded in the canopy yesterday during your and Loki’s exploits. The nesting tree. 

“Oh my god, Aspen, you weren’t supposed to see that! Jeez!” you gasp, spluttering. Loki coughs and moves to stand by your side. 

Aspen makes a few gestures that you interpret as: “You seemed to be having fun, I wanted to see if I could play too”. 

“I uh-” 

“It was wonderful, little one, but not something you should be peeping on. And you’re  _ not taking my future wife!”  _ Loki pipes in. You want to facepalm. 

Aspen smirks, like “We’ll see”. You giggle at how Loki threatens Aspen, and protect them. 

“Now now, don’t be crass, Loki-Love. If you can’t deal with a lovely sweetheart like this little friend, what will you do with our children?” 

Loki, once more, stops working and stutters to a halt.  _ Children? I want children _ , his face communicates, suddenly breaking out into a brighter smile. His hands wrap around your body, pressing into your lower belly and kissing your neck. 

“There’s going to be a baby in here. My baby. Our baby. It’s going to be the most beautiful child this world has ever seen. I’ll teach them cleverness and cunning, you’ll teach kindness and love. Perfection,” 

“Why can’t it be the other way around, hmm? We’ll share everything, because we’ll be married,”   


“Mhmm,” Loki nuzzles your neck, rubbing the spot he just kissed. Aspen makes an ick noise and scampers off. You reach back and grab Loki’s hands.

“Do we need to go back?” you whisper.

“It’s going to be a beautiful night. How about you dance with me- perhaps sing something, and then… we could sleep out here? I’ll build you a nest! That sounds odd when I’m not in the correct form,” he frowns before taking the initiative to shift forms. Instantly, he sucks in a breath of your scent. You do the same. Even his scent is so alluring, so attractive: like a warm smell of coming home, mixed with the spice of something purely Loki. 

“I want to stay this way with you forever. Would you take me like this?” 

“I’ll take you anyway you want, Loki. It’s you, and of course I want you,” you smile at him, turning around to hug him. He returns it after a moment, playing idly with your hair. 

“I’m going to make you a nest, it’s going to be so warm. You’re going to love it, mate. And I need to get you food! Oh, I haven’t been feeding you properly. I’m bad-” 

“No, I’m fine. We ate at the market, remember?” Loki’s face lights up as he remembers, his wings flicking in the air. 

“Ah yes. It slipped my mind. Now, do you want to help? Or you could just sit and let me, I’d love to-” 

“I want to help,” you cheer. You’ve built one or two nests in your time, and it’s hard but enjoyable. Depending on what you line them with, it can be really comfortable. And Loki can summon blankets and pillows, so that will be a plus. 

“Our tree. I’m going to make a nest for us,” Loki singsongs, spreading his wings to take off in search of suitable nesting material. You go straight to the tree in question, brushing away limbs and dust to make a suitable base. 

In the next few hours, Loki retrieves enough sticks and moss and leaves to make a large structure, circular and nice and homey. Now, it’s most certainly not meant for a human, but it’s perfect for a Dark Fae. Loki, when faced with the completed piece, seems to glow with pride. He takes your hand and guides you into it, so very proud of his work. 

“Do you like it?” he says, after you’ve settled in comfortably. It’s soft, due to the mass of leaves and moss Loki has found. You shuffle in closer to him, so that you can rest your head on his chest. Loki makes an affirming purr, as if to signify that this was the right course of action.

“I love it,” you murmur, tracing his chest. Loki hums, and brushes his hands through your wings. To both of your surprise, feathers come out with the movement. He looks to you questioningly as he pockets the feathers shrewdly. 

“Is it time for you to molt?”

“Hmm… how long have we been on Asgard?” 

“About three weeks, in Midgardian time,” Loki counts in his mind. You sit up, shocked. 

“But- it feels like it has barely been a week or two here, how is that-” Loki presses your head back on his chest, petting your face to soothe you. Your wings slap in indignation. He holds the down slightly, knowing full well that the reaction is unintentional. 

“Time works the same here, though the sun is on a different cycle,” 

“Oh, our friends will be so worried that we haven’t sent anything! And Frank! And Sarah! You think they’re okay?” Loki pets your hair, laughing to himself. 

“I’m sure they’re fine. But Frank…?” 

“My snake. The one you gave me? The pretty one?” you remind him. Loki’s eyes light in recognition. 

“Ah yes. Of course, the snake I gave you. Do you love your snake?” Loki shimmies his body, rubbing your horns together to which you giggle. 

“Of course! Not as much as you though,” you tease. 

“No, you love me more than anything else, more than anyone else. I’m your one and only mate,” Loki reminds you. You nod, snuggling in closer into his chest. He nudges you. “Right? The only one. There’s no one else?” 

“Yes, my jealous kitten. You’re the only one for me,” 

“Now and forever? Promise me, that I’m your mate for life,” Loki looks down at you, his eyes wide and wanton. You reach up to hold that beautiful face. You’ll never tire of his ethereal features, his whip-smart personality, his sweet disposition towards you. 

But… 

A part of you worries. Strife seems to lurk about each corner, history coming to haunt each of you all too often. Could it ever prove to be too much? 

Loki’s dreamy smile slowly fades into worry. His hand stops rubbing your arm. 

“Are you- you don’t have to- it’s okay-” 

“No, no, it’s not. I’m not leading you on: I do love you very much, and if I do spend the entirety of my life with you I will be happy for the rest of my days likewise,” you pinch his cheek. Loki smiles wide, cheekily, and moves to kiss you. You stop him. 

“But…”

His face falls. 

“But?”

“But, if something bad happens… which it very well might- I don’t know if staying by your side is the right thing to do. It all depends on what keeps me safe. I will be happy with you, so happy, but I don’t want to end up getting hurt because of it. Does that make sense?” Loki nods, his hands exploring your body and kissing sporadically. 

“I understand. I don’t want you hurt either,” 

“I know,” 

“I want to keep you safe, and I want you to stay by my side as my wife,” 

“I know,” 

“You’re the only one I’ve ever loved this way, and I don’t want to lose you,” Loki’s eyes are fluttering, his long lashes criminally beautiful. 

“I know, mon minou. I know,” you kiss the curve of his face. You sit there for a while, enjoying each other’s embrace and watching the sky go orange. Loki combs through your wings, picking out the loose feathers and hoarding them in his pocket dimension. You’ve stopped trying to stop him from doing it. At some point, Loki’s shirt comes off and you kiss every inch of that delectable chest. Contentedness radiates from your perch, making the air grow light and the wind tostle your hair playfully.  _ Loki _ ’s scent is so happy, so joyous, even if he wasn’t your future mate you’d feel happy too. 

“Dance with me,” he whispers in your ear. 

“What?” 

“Get up, and dance with me, my love. Dance with me,” 

“I’m not a good dancer, we both know that, you have to lead me everywhere!” you exasperate, rolling over onto him to splay your wings over his body. Loki chuckles, dipping his head into the space where your shoulder meets your neck and kissing it. 

“I know, but a different kind of dance,” he murmurs.

“I’m not having sex with you in front of all fairies, even if they do like a show,” you narrow your eyes. Loki guffaws. 

“Such a dirty mind!” 

“Pfft,” you tease, “I learned it from the best,” 

“Whoever would that be?” Loki smirks. 

“This guy, my mate, has the highest sex drive I have ever known. He can go for long periods of time, and sometimes just once in the midday even after his appetite was satiated just hours before. He’s ravenous,” you say, as though Loki was not the person you were talking about and rather a confidant. Loki nods sagely. 

“And you still satisfy him? Why, what a good little wife you will be,” he purrs, “Do you think that I may steal you away? You sound simply delectable, and I wish for a dance,” 

“Hmm, I don’t know if he’d like me dancing with somebody else. I should ask him,” you tap your lips. Loki hums as you roll to your other side and look up at him once more. “Hey, minou, there’s this hot guy who’s asking to dance. You think I should?” 

“Mhmm. I think he really wants to simply make memories with you, and not steal you away. He wants to make you happy. And dance with you under the setting sun,” Loki explains. You smile softly: he’s too cute. 

“Well, I shouldn’t keep him waiting, should I?” you think aloud. Loki presses a kiss to your left horn. 

“No, you shouldn’t, as he is growing quite excited for it,” Loki smirks once more, breaking into a large smile as you lift him off the floor of the nest and hold his hand as you flutter down to the ground. A Mushroom fairy makes a happy noise of greeting as you wave to him. 

“Don’t focus on other fairies, me, focus on me,” Loki demands, jealous as ever. You pinch his cheek, he squeezes his eyes shut. 

“My heart belongs to you, Loki, you don’t have to worry about it,” 

“But I do anyway,” Loki mumbles, “I always worry that you won’t find me attractive anymore, or you won’t like my attitude or you’ll find someone better, and it’s easier to just- scare away other potential mates. I’m bigger, I’ll beat them in an instant,” 

“You’d fight them?” 

Loki nods, steely eyed. You reach up on tiptoe to pat his head. 

“What an adoring mate,” you compliment, not all too different from what you do with Lokitty. Loki purrs, smiling with your compliments before extending a hand for you to take and resting the other on your hip. “Do we want music?” 

“Do we need it?” Loki murmurs, pulling you in inches from his chest, “There is the water rushing- the bugs chirping- the fairies as they frolic. What more do two Fae lovers need?” 

You look up at him, surprised. This Loki… this Fae Loki, with his large all-encompassing black wings that rustle their feathers, his gold horns stretched long like a bow, his striking green eyes filled with mirth and love and calm, his ebony hair tumbling just a bit past his fine shoulders, the high waisted pants coming to rest halfway to his abs. He is a painting, an image, a daydream. 

This Loki doesn’t care about the niceties of Asgard, how alluring it is. He doesn’t want to be a king, or a vizier, or a nobleman. He wants to make a nest for you, and dance with you without music, and protect you.

When had it happened that made the decision to separate the Loki that let you be verbally abused with the Loki who loves you? When did you do that? Was it when you were leaving? When you convinced yourself to stay? When he cried? When  _ you _ cried? When he held you in his embrace the next day? 

“Stay forever,” you blurt, then clap hands over your mouth. Loki looks at you with a cocked head and smiling expression.  _ He doesn’t understand. He thinks you’re over it.  _

And you thought you were. You really did. But…

“It would be my pleasure to,” and with that, he sways and dances and swirls you on the grass. It feels like magic, like how it’s always felt. Loki learns forwards, intertwining your horns like fighting horned deers but with so much affection your heart melts. “I love you, my love. I love you, I love you, I love you.” You finally let go of the tension in your body, and lean onto Loki’s clean-cut chest. He chuckles, and starts to sway slightly, guiding you delicately. You attempt to move along: he makes a noise of approval, and you can’t help but feel like a dog given a treat for doing something right. 

No, you’re wild, you chose to stay: and you chose again, even after being kicked. But you’re happier than you’ve ever been, you were happier than ever- and you’re happy now. But also scared. And as much as you can forgive that Loki, you’ll never forget it. You’ll never feel safe in the palace of Asgard, even if Loki was by your side. Even if this sweet caring protective Loki was by your side. 

In that moment, you can delude yourself that he’ll stay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns!


	44. 3-27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which time passes, and Loki never stops pressing for forgiveness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter this week!
> 
> Who asked for Naga Loki?

The days continue. It’s been another week before you know it, and Loki’s so incredibly attentive it makes you wonder if that dinner had been a dream. And then you catch a glimpse of Odin across the way glaring at you, or a guard sneers as you walk past, or Aslief starts crying after she drops something. It’s depressing when that happens, that’s for sure: because the occurrences are brushed away rather than addressed. Frigga slaps Odin’s arm. Loki glares murderously at the guard. Aslief apologizes profusely and lies through her teeth about it. 

You haven’t told her that you can tell. It would be worse to do that, in a way. Easier to pretend. 

You still have fun, of course: there had been a few rudimentary lessons in the violin. Brio had to switch off the enchantment (there is a button, thankfully) because your shoddy attempts at music just made the surrounding flowers wilt rather than grow. And whenever they wilted, you ran over to heal them, making practice take a looooong time. Brio doesn’t care though- he’s the only one who doesn’t know. He treats you the same. You thank whatever gods there are that at least you have one friend that doesn’t feel like they’re walking on eggshells around you. Sif is the same way: training with the naginata and other assorted weapons doesn’t require her to be careful with her emotions. She doesn’t care, and it’s refreshing. 

Loki’s been spending more and more time as a Dark Fae. The only time he’s in his Asgardian form is when you’re at the palace or in the market, and that has become less and less since you danced with him at the Moors. He wants to stay there, in that magical forest, and seems to want to stay Fae. You have an idea why, but don’t want to ask. Don’t want to push. You like Fae Loki, and you don’t want him to go away any time soon. 

So, to say the least, things are okay. Not as magical as it once was, but honestly, that was over after you knew about your history. 

It’s not a fairytale, but what is? You really shouldn’t complain… after all, it’s still beautiful and you’re still treated like a princess, so you’re better off than you had been a while ago. 

Like for example, right now, you’re having a picnic with five Lokis. 

One is happy, joyously, feeding you pieces of cake. He takes pieces of it with a fork and holds it up to your mouth. 

“Open up, darling. I have more for you to eat,” he singsongs, seemingly even more happy after you take a bite. He just keeps getting more food from somewhere. You’re hungry, it’s  _ why  _ you agreed to a picnic in this field, but this is getting ridiculous. Loki’s treating you so much, and you’re just a little worried that you’re going to pass out from the influx of food. 

The second is in cat form, a little Lokitty curled up on your lap. He’s purring as you pet him comfortingly with one hand. It seems as though your kitten, who is usually an adult size, wanted to be smaller and somehow even more adorable. Lokitty purrs more on your lap, rolling about- he’s so very small, he could fit in your cupped hands perfectly. You scratch his ears and he looks up at you and mews adorably. You smile as you pet his head.  _ Good boy, good kitten. The sweetest kitten.  _

“Hey, what about me? You don’t love him more than me, do you?” a Jotun Loki breathes, the exhale of air frigid on your neck. The third Loki. You had mentioned a little while ago that you were a bit hot, and a new Jotun Loki had appeared and placed you without choice on his lap. It’s actually quite nice: like a cooler on a hot summer day. He’s taken to massaging your shoulders, and it’s absolutely terrific. Sometimes, his lips press onto your neck like perfect soft ice cubes. 

“I love you all equally, because in all honesty, you are different iterations of the person I love,” you speak truthfully. 

“I think I’m cut above the rest, aren’t I, darling?” Lady Loki purrs. Though the others say their dissent, you know they all understand that they’re cut from the same cloth and calling one above the rest is irrelevant. You smile at her in a secretive way: she winks. Lady Loki has produced a bottle of bright green nail polish, the lightest one she has. Which is to say just one shade lighter than emerald, but either way, she’s stationed at the hand that Lokitty isn’t occupying. Her hair is long, and she keeps brushing it tantalizingly over one shoulder to focus better and it’s  _ mesmerizing _ . She knows you’re looking at her, and smirks with her black-painted lips.  _ Pay attention to the new one.  _

And, there, the last Loki- is something completely new. His top is completely the same as male Loki, despite his hair being past his mid back, has the same exact torso. The bottom half is a large green snake tail. A naga, you recall. Naga Loki has his tail wrapped around your legs, not tight but curled around you, and his head is draped between his knees. He sleeps peacefully: this version of him was the first to come out, to which you accepted and decided that he was beautiful immediately. He slithered over, flicked his forked tongue, and promptly curled onto your knees. The scales feel odd, but not at all bad. It was after he fell asleep that he started splitting into others. Maybe he was having a dream? Because the happy Loki came right after, haunted by something, and then distracted himself by stuffing you full of food. So much food, you wonder if he’s trying to make up for how little you had in the years before him. 

“Here’s some more darling, eat up,” he has another forkful of cake, which you take in your mouth with a smile. 

Lady Loki had been next. It was as if the other Loki noticed that you were a bit frightened by his erratic behavior and just decided the elegant wonderful Lady Loki would be the one you wanted to see. And there she was, and just started to paint your nails. Your toenails are already done, and your right hand. 

And then, as if they thought you were missing something, there came Lokitty, purring and cuddling in your lap adorably. And then Jotun Loki when you were hot. 

He’s trying to anticipate what you want, as he is both asleep and awake. All iterations of Loki, they all love you, and they want you to be happy. You gaze at Naga Loki. He twitches, his tongue sticking out slightly. Just a little 'blep'. 

“Mrrow? Mew,” Lokitty demands attention, the spoiled kitten he is. You return to petting him, as Lady Loki declares your nails finished. 

“Are they dry enough that I can lift up Lokitty?” you question her. With a wave of her hand, she instantly dries them. 

“Now, give your kitten some love, darling. He’s very cute, isn’t he? You love your kitten,” Lady Loki hints, resting her chin on her hand and watching you intently. You smile at her gratefully and lift up Lokitty so your noses boop together. He nuzzles your face, purring. 

“Hello, sweet kitten,” you coo at him. He really is the most adorable baby. Lokitty meows loudly, demanding once more that you go back to petting him. “Okay, okay- heh, gimme a moment, bossy kitten.” 

You return to scratching his ear. 

“Are you just going to watch me, Loki?” 

Lady Loki answers, “Mhmm, was thinking about it, pet.” 

Jotun Loki answers, “I’m satisfied with being where I am. Pressed against you, perfectly entertwined.” 

Loki says, “Eat another bite for me? Please? I don’t think you’re full yet,” 

You sigh, and address them as one. 

“As much as I adore that you are so doting, it’s just a tad bit overwhelming. I want to focus on one or two of you, but I'm having trouble with you all at once. It’s a little much,” you explain. All of the Loki’s have their collective attention on you and what you’re saying. 

“But, I just want to shower you with my attention,” Loki protests. You run a hand through Lokitty’s fur, relish in the delighted mew. 

“I understand, but you don’t have to worry this much! You don’t need to be doing everything all at once,” 

“But I want to, and I can,” the Jotun Loki rumbles, his voice a few octaves deeper. His hands find their way under the dress you were instructed to wear for such a picnic, the digits of his fingers like little ice cubes as they massage your back. 

“Mhmm, you know, that’s really, really nice-” 

“That’s it, ignore me, I’m yours to use. You don’t have to pay attention to me, I don’t need it, there’s so many other parts you are paying attention to, it doesn't matter,” Jotun Loki hums, placing a kiss to your neck. Lady Loki nods in agreement, sliding forwards to nip at your earlobe. 

“And you can talk to me, if you’d like,” she runs her long nails up your arm, inciting a chill. 

“And I’ll take care of you,” Loki chirps. 

“Okay, how about this, I’m sorta tired, and very full, thanks for that, so we can just all- nap? Is napping okay?” you suggest. Lady Loki raises an eyebrow and opens her mouth, to which you interrupt with: “No, not ‘sleeping with you’. We already went a round this morning, and I’m still a touch sore from that. So literally, just sleeping outside. In a big pile. This guy,” you point to Jotun Loki, who had stopped his ministrations to listen to your speech, “I’ll sleep on his chest because he’s wonderfully cold, and Lokitty can stay right where he is or-” Lokitty takes it upon himself to latch on with his claws to the top of your dress, between the two peaks of your breasts. “Well, okay then, Lokitty is going to sleep over there, and Lady Loki, you can come to one side and Asgardian Loki can go to the other. Is that okay?” 

“Wonderful, darling,” Lady Loki purrs, and all parties organize themselves to what you instructed. Naga Loki remains asleep, his snake parts shifting slightly as you readjust to accommodate all of Loki. Lokitty has decided to patter into your shirt and curl up between your breasts the second you lie back on Jotun Loki’s cut chest. Loki on your left, Lady Loki on your right, a wing over each of them, and Jotun Loki between your horns. 

It’s sensational. There’s something lethargic, and something comforting, and it’s all encompassing and you fall asleep in minutes. 

~~~~~

When you wake up some time later, all of the Loki’s are absent except for Naga Loki. You’re still wrapped up in his embrace, his tail winding around you. Rubbing your eyes, you look up and meet eyes directly with Odin. He's alone, wearing long fancy clothes: and glaring. It's horrifying, like waking up to a nightmare. 

Your heart stops. He clears his throat. 

“Are you honestly going to sleep outside? With the animals? And what have you done to Loki? Norns, he is _monsterous._ You've done some unnatural magic, hmm?” he speaks, slicing through your calm with a vicious knife. You swallow, and shake Loki’s shoulder desperately. 

Perhaps it’s how you’re trembling slightly, or the shake, or maybe Naga Loki can taste your fear, but his eyes snap open. Instantly, Loki’s sitting up and hissing at the offending character. Odin watches, stone faced, and shakes his head. 

“Has she cursed you, my boy? Come now, I’ll change you back,” he crooks a finger, and you prepare to loose Loki again. It hurts your heart. 

“Don’t touch me, and don’t touch my beloved. This is how I chose to look, and it only speaks to your own weakness that you decide to lash out at her. She has done nothing but bring joy and acceptance and wonderful things into my life, and if that is a crime then I should never have called you Father,” Loki growls. You look at him, mouth ajar, as he lifts up his serpentine body so he’s level with Odin. You’re still on the ground, and when you try to move Loki’s tail whips out and holds you in a loose sitting position.  _ Stay,  _ he seems to say,  _ Stay and watch me defend your honor.  _

“Loki, what is the meaning of this-” 

“It’s exactly what I have already said, Allfather. This  _ woman _ , is not only not a monster, but is the most god-like creature I have ever encountered. I will not allow you to continue to treat her like filth. You do that, and it is so incredibly sickening that it amazes me that a bigoted self-centered bastard is still on the throne. Has no one taken out the trash in so long?” 

You’re shocked. Loki just- he- you can’t help but start to snicker under your breath at Loki’s triumphant expression, having once more established his title is silver-tongue, and Odin dumbfounded look. 

“We will have words about this, Loki,” he harrumphs, eyes dangerous (though Loki doesn’t balk one bit!), before stomping away like a cartoon villain. Loki turns to you, a smile on his face, and brings you close to him. 

“How was that?” he says, “Have I regained your favor?” 

You detangle yourself from his tail and hug him tightly. 

“You truly never lost it,” you murmur, squeezing even tighter, "I love you." 

“Watch it darling, or you may just squeeze the life out of me,” he chuckles, returning the hug nonetheless passionately. You don’t know if he realizes that his tail is wrapped protectively around your leg, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. “Are we… are we good?” 

“We’ve been good this whole time,” you pretend. He shakes his head, the motion burying his head into your neck even more. 

“No, we haven’t. You didn’t say anything, but I knew,” 

“And here I thought I was doing a good job of hiding it,” you chuckle drily. Loki looks at you deeply, as if wanting to say something but holding himself back. He smiles instead. 

“But I know you, and I can see through you. I could tell, I could feel it,” Loki explains. 

“Guess we’re just made for each other, huh?” you joke. Loki pales slightly, then erases it with a large smile. 

“I presume so, yes,” Loki agrees, then quickly offers for you to ride on his tail to get back to the palace. 

“Is that a thing I can do? Are you sure I won’t fall off?” you curiously ask. Loki’s tail is large, certainly large enough to ride upon. It’s your sense of balance and ability to hold on that’s the issue here. 

“There’s no use contemplating what may or may not happen. We won’t know unless you try, darling,” he scoffs, and you haul yourself onto the tail. Loki snaps away the picnic into his pocket dimension and begins to move. Miraculously, not only do you not fall off but you’re comfortable and the ride itself is smooth. About a few minutes into this relaxing ride, you ask for your guitar. 

And the rest of the travels is you trying to learn a new tune on it, and Loki hissing and humming as he takes you further. Everything is perfect except- 

_ There is something he’s not telling me.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns! We're almost at the end of part three, can you believe it people?


	45. 3-28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we all fall down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

**Loki**

He’ll never get over the feel of you in his arms. The physical aspects of it, yes, how your lips smile in your sleep when he kisses your forehead and how you unconsciously shift closer to him- but also the emotional bonds of it. The soul mate ties he’d made with you have only grown in strength after you confessed your love: he can sense your emotions clearly and the pleasure Loki gains simply by making you smile is so astronomical that he knows he’ll never love another person. 

Whenever you’re sad, he feels like crying, like sobbing- it hurts, and then he makes it better and he feels your love and your attraction and your forgiveness and it washes over him like a wave and all of a sudden: Loki’s overflowing and can’t keep the smile from his face. It feels so good, makes him a fool with happiness. 

And even more: it appears that Loki’s show of dominance and strength to Odin only resulted in more benefits. He’d been offered a place in the court before,and it’s why he asked if you’d like to stay more: he could truly have both, no? He had to be smart, and Odin was sincere when he had told Loki how much he was needed… Odin was wise, but not nearly as cunning as Loki. Loki was  _ wanted _ . He was wanted, and he was in love and he was happy. 

And then that horrendous dinner. First the iron, then Odin’s constant slights at you at every sentence. It pained him to hear such cruel words about his angel, and it pained him to watch you crumble in on yourself with the weight of his words. But he smiled and laughed and tried to communicate to you to just last, hold steady, smile, don’t worry- and then that final straw. First shock registered, then you were running away in tears, and then he was going to  _ kill Odin, kill him _ \- and then his mother got out of her chair, rage tangible, and whispered to Loki to go after you. Then frantically running down the halls, teleporting every few feet, tripping over himself to get to you and reassure you. The betrayal on your face, the horrible upset, the tears rushing down- it all made Loki feel like his body was being ripped apart. He needed to make you feel better, he needed to. You were heartbroken, he could sense it through the unrequited bonds as if they were joined. It hurt, so badly. So very badly. 

And then... and then he thought you were going to leave- Loki has to mask a whine with a cough. Just think about it, just the idea, the notion, makes him hold you closer. You were so close. Your bags were nearly packed- and the rest of it is blurry. It was seeing that that made his instincts kick in, take over. He remembers blubbering, crying, sobbing, begging for you to stay. 

And you did, so something must have worked. 

He has you in his arms. You sleep peacefully next to him, and he brushes your hair back and kisses your forehead for a second time. 

_ She loves you, she won’t leave you, she won’t, she forgives you _ , the Jotun inside of Loki coos,  _ Now, you should plant your seed in her, reproduce-  _

_ No,  _ Loki tells himself,  _ No, she’s not ready for a child. We shall wait _ . 

_ I am in control of myself. I can control myself. I have control.  _ He repeats the mantra in his head a few more times, just to ensure that he’s okay. Everything’s okay. 

He’d asked you a while ago if you wished to stay in Asgard longer. You’d said yes. Though he loathes to admit it- he tricked you. Loki was offered to be the royal advisor, the man directly under the Allfather. He can’t let that go away… it’s the closest thing to what he wanted his entire life. But he can’t let you go either. You’re the best thing that ever happened, and he was able to return here because of you as well. He loves making you happy. It makes the world shine around him, like a whole universe erupting in front of him when you laugh. 

He can’t let you go. Loki feels horribly guilty about it: but sneaking the apples of immortality in small doses into your meals will keep you alive. Day by day, your life is expanding: you’ll live for two hundred years now, right beside him. He’ll work in Asgard, and you’ll be his queen. Forever. Forever queen, forever love: you had already remarked that you felt no time was passing at all… it would be so so easy to delude you more. Delude you with omission. 

He feels villainous… but it’s all he can do, isn’t it? He’ll be a villain like everyone tells him he is if it means that you’ll be with him forever. The idea excites him, prompts him to smile at how you snuggle into him. 

He won’t tell you about the fruit, and Loki most certainly won’t tell you about Odin. He had tipped him off, a bit of manipulating to lead Odin to a place you’d both be. And it worked- you forgive him, completely, your love no longer polluted by the idea that Loki won’t stand up for you. Loki would  _ always  _ stand up for you- he was simply worried that standing up for you would put you in more danger. And now your love is boundless, and he can feel it, and he regrets nothing. 

Loki had done it, and you’re okay, and he still has this job. He will be the advisor, and you will be his immortal wife, and the two of you will be happy. 

He hugs you closer, pressing his face into your hair. Unconsciously, your wings flutter and pull in closer to Loki. Warmth flares in his chest- the feeling of dipping into a hot bath, comforting.  _ So good,  _ he thinks to himself. 

He’s still awake, thinking and watching when your eyes finally blink open. 

“Have a good rest, darling? Am I a good pillow?” 

“Mhmm? Yeah, you’re the best pillow,” you poke at his exposed pectorals.  _ I’m glad you enjoy how I look darling. I’d change my form in an instant if you asked me to. If you wished for me to be an ugly toad, I’d do it. And I’d sit in your lap and wait for you to love me.  _

“It is a great pleasure of mine to be for your liking,” Loki happily chirps. You smile at him sleepily, poke his cheek adoringly. 

“You’re so cute when you’re all happy and gushy and lovely,” 

“You’re cute all of the time,” Loki feels embarrassed saying it, blushing and looking away, but you quickly giggle joyously. Loki smiles at you. Your laugh- it makes him feel… it makes him feel so alive. And happy. Like every bit of him is thrumming with love. 

“Aww, you’re so sweet. I… I love ya, so much,” you murmur. Loki’s heart pangs and he lifts you closer to his chest and kisses your forehead. How many has it been now? Doesn’t matter. They will be infinite. _My lovely, lovely, girl._

“I love you too, my darling. More than you will ever know, more than you will ever know,” he smiles yet again. 

“Hnng, Lokes?”

“Yes, sweetheart,” 

“I’m  _ hungry _ ,” 

“But we already had dinner… it’s relatively late as it is. Are you sure you want to be eating so late in the evening?” 

“Mhmm,” you look so sweet, so adorable, with your face still sleepy and resting on him completely. You  _ trust  _ him. Despite everything. 

“I could never resist you, my dearest girl. What do you wish for me to acquire from the kitchens?” 

“Uh… I dunno,” you whisper, nuzzling in closer, “‘M tired, still,” 

“I can see that,” Loki chuckles, “How about I leave you here and I procure some of those little puffy bread rolls you like,” 

“Cro-iss-ants-?” you’re drooling a little bit at the mention of the pastry. You’d told the chefs about the croissants a while ago, and they’ve been happily recreating them for you ever since. Loki feels satisfied with how the kitchens are acting: they adore you, as all people should. 

“Alright, some croissants. I’ll be right back, you just rest your pretty little head. Don’t lift a finger, princess,” Loki asserts. You nod, still holding onto him. “Darling, you must let go so I can go get your food.” 

“Can’t you- can’t I keep you and-?” 

“As you wish,” Loki chuckles and splits into two. 

“Cat,” you demand. Loki smiles at himself, and both of them shake their heads at each other blissfully.  _ Whatever she pleases, she’ll get.  _ Loki feels a bit like a tool, but the drowsy thrilled look on your face makes Loki so pleased that  _ by the Norns _ \- it doesn’t matter. Lokitty stumbles on top of you, and you laugh cheekily at the kitten. If Loki focuses hard enough, he feels what that other part of him feels: the playful mirth, the desire to please, the joy of being with you. Usually, when they recombine all the emotions transfer over: he stays up late nights after you’re both sated and you’re fast asleep beside him mulling over all that he feels. The idea that you loved all of him… it made him fall over himself in the effort to please you. 

As he exits the bed, a dreamy expression as he watches you snuggle your kitten ( _ him _ ) on his features, snapping his fingers to put on some decent clothing, he can’t help but think on your relationship more as he strolls to the kitchens. 

He’s like a dog.  _ Whipped, _ the arrowsmith had said once. It meant that he submitted to your any desire, fetching whatever you wished. But Loki didn’t think that that was  _ bad _ \- quite the opposite, actually. 

He  _ loves  _ doing things for you. 

It makes you happy. And there’s nothing he wants more in this world than for you to be happy with him. Right? Deciding on the futility of walking, Loki simply teleports down there. 

The kitchen staff already had your croissants prepared: they usually do. He thanks them, and starts the walk back to you, choosing now to walk so you may have more time cuddling your kitten. On his way back, a familiar short man runs down the hall. 

“Aha, Librarian. What are you doing at this time of night?” Loki greets him amicably. Instantly though, he takes note of his franticness and his palpable fear. “What is it?” 

“Oh, my prince. Oh dear, oh dear,” he frets, twitching left and right. Loki holds his small shoulders. 

“What is it? Anything I can help with?” 

“It’s your Fae, your mate, my prince-” Loki’s muscles tense and he stands up straight immediately.  _ Run to her, run run run-  _

“ _ WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER? IS SHE IN DANGER? WHOM MUST I ELIMINATE TO ENSURE HER SAFETY?”  _ Loki interrogates.  _ Why are you still talking to him? You must check on your mate. She could be taken right now, or dead for all you know-  _ Loki may be hyperventilating.  _ You can’t have her, you can’t- she means too much she’s everything-  _ painful flashes of the nightmares he had under the power of the mind stone remind him.  _ Holding your dead body… you were cold, so cold, no warmth like you had always had-  _

“No, no, nothing yet. But I’m afraid that something  _ may  _ be coming. I overhead Odin and a few others going into the Fae room,” the Librarian explains. Loki presses a hand to his chest.  _ Calm, calm. You are in control. And you’d know if she was in danger, you left a part of yourself there with her. He’d morph into something else, and protect her until we became complete again.  _

“The room with all of those wings in cases?” 

“The very one. I fear they plot for something,” the Librarian worries. Loki nods solemnly. 

“I will investigate myself. Do you mind bringing these croissants to the maid's quarters and give them to a girl by the name of Asleif? And tell her to bring them to Fae,” the Librarian nods, happy to get as far away from what may be happening in the library as possible, and zooms off. Loki sets his jaw and goes off to spy on his father. 

He’s there in moments: Loki hides his form with a number of illusions and behind a pillar. In fact, Odin and a few other old members of the court. He strains his ear to listen in. 

“- cannot stand, Allfather. I am on the same level as you: if we allow a  _ Fae  _ into the courts, what’s next? We will begin spilling our seed into bears and bilgesnipes?” 

A murmur of agreement. 

“We cannot allow the royal blood especially to be contaminated with such filth,” another says. 

“Well, we know that the dark prince is not pure Asgardian… it’s just an illusion, correct?” 

“Yes… perhaps I was doomed to this, by not telling him until recently. He forgets how Asgardian he truly is: I am convinced that this is a result of exploring his now unearthed Jotun side. A monster for a monster, I must presume,” Odin sighs as if he didn’t say something completely horrible and was rather lamenting being a parent. Loki’s enraged, but stays still. 

“Even a Jotun dressed in Asgardian leathers is still a Jotun, after all. You did good, Allfather, especially in spite of the circumstances. But he’s always been a strange child. Changing his gender, lusting after anyone who passed his way… and then the whole debacle with his marriage,” another man says. Odin tsks. 

“We agreed not to talk about that, no? It is a great failure of mine. But now, we must stop Loki from going any further with this Fae of his. It’s bad enough that they are intimate: we must cut this weed off at the roots before it chokes the beautiful garden we’ve nurtured here,” Odin explains. Loki’s sickened by how the other men there agree wholeheartedly. 

“It’s certainly been quite a while since I performed the conversion surgery on a Fae, but I think I can manage it,” a man with a wicked smile says, “And you could feel free to watch. Remember the attendance to those bits of sport in the good old days? I can still hear their inhuman yells, their blubbering, the smell of their feeble scents as we sawed their wings. It was all for the best, I presume.” Loki thought he was sick before, but that… that’s indulging in torture. How vile of a person do you have to be- 

“Are any of those Asgardian-Fae still alive?” someone muses. 

“A few, I believe. They live primarily in filth though, so I wouldn’t dwell,” Odin shrugs, “Either way, tomorrow, I will ask Loki to assist me in a new trading agreement with Alfiem. While he does that, take her from her chambers. Put sedative in her food, knock her out, I don’t care. As long as she ends up in prison this time tomorrow, it is a success. We will rid her of her wings and then her horns. Afterward, we can return her to Loki,” 

“Isn’t there psychological damage to the process?” someone pipes up. Odin snorts.

“When did we ever care about that? I will take care of Loki, make sure he is busy. He would not dare bite against me when I hold his leash,” and the whole room chortles.  _ Am I a joke?  _ Loki thinks to himself. “Either way, we need him. Although he has many faults, he was raised as my son, and he is admittedly much more clever than Thor. It would benefit us all to keep him about.” 

And although Loki hates it, he  _ hates  _ it, he feels sort of fulfilled that Odin values him. But that doesn’t matter. He has to… he has to send you home. That’s the only way. He must stay, and you must go. 

Heimdall owes you a favor. You can escape by the Bifrost. 

_ But that would mean…  _

_ She’d leave. My love would be on Midgard, without me for who knows how long. She’d be leaving.  _

He has to restrain a pained whine. He needs to send you home, he must because otherwise you’d be dead or hate him or… so sad you couldn’t do anything. Briefly, he imagines it:

Your laughter would be gone. Your expressions would be schooled constantly: no joy, or sadness, no humor, or even love. You wouldn’t… you wouldn’t be happy anymore. You’d be a shell, albeit an immortal one. No matter what he’d do or say, no matter how many gifts he gave or how long he stayed in a feline state. Loki can see himself, standing beside you at your wedding, and how empty you’d seem. You wouldn’t be smiling or laughing with him, more of a statue. Emotionless, as he takes your hand and vows his life. Nothing to show for it. The thought of it makes him want to cry. 

The love he has felt by your side would be nothing more than his own desperation.

It wouldn’t be  _ you _ . Let alone how much you’d be in pain every waking moment, and now you’d surely hate him for it. How betrayed you’d be. Loki cannot do that to you, even if it means torture for him. He can take it. 

Loki closes his eyes and teleports to outside your shared room. 

It strikes him then that this night is the last he’ll have with you for a while. Loki should… should take advantage of it while he can. Because he only has a few more hours and then who knows how long until he’ll be able to hold you close again. His hand stutters as he reaches for the door. He knows you can hear him, hear him stopping before entering. 

_ She doesn’t know yet, you can protect her, she can  _ **_stay_ ** _ …  _

_ No _ , Loki thinks to himself,  _ no, because if she does then she could be hurt.  _

Your face, in agony and blood… another reminder of his nightmares. And remember when that maggot of a man, Harrison, had beaten you to a pulp? And how he came for you, and you were so weak and so fragile and so broken and he had to lift you into his arms and  _ pray  _ that they could save you because his magic simply wasn’t strong enough. He begged you to stay, and you hadn’t even known him: you didn’t even recognize him, and Loki pleaded that you’d stay with him. His body shakes. No, he cannot allow that to happen. He cannot render himself as vile as  _ Harrison. _ You’d never forgive him, no matter how much he pleads, and he would hate himself forever. He can’t. He can’t.

His constant clawing at you to get love, for you to indulge him with sweet caresses. His skin had been a barren wasteland before you, and then your warmth pressed into his bones and all of a sudden he realized he had been starving. You were air, substance, and he wants to keep that close but… he can’t. He can’t. 

He needs to let Brio know that you will leave early tomorrow. Asleif, too. Using his magic, he sends them both a discreet letter telling of exactly what he had learnt, and for Asleif to meet them outside the palace and Brio at Heimdall’s station respectively. 

He must not be selfish. Selfish in a way that would hurt you… he can not allow himself to be that cruel. For now though, Loki will strive to love you as deeply as possible, so that you (and himself) will not miss the other too much. 

He opens the door. There you are, this ethereal beauty, smiling at him broadly with crumbs of croissant littered about your face. Lokitty is covered in croissant crumbs as well: you were sharing the food with him, and he still is licking the flakes of pastry off of your face. You brighten at Loki even more, if that was possible. It makes his chest seize painfully. 

“Hey there, Loki-Love! What took you so long?” you laugh. Loki smiles at you and chuckles, but inside he feels a deep sadness.  _ Please, don’t make her leave _ , some inner voice whimpers,  _ She’s so perfect. So wonderful, so beautiful. How could you make her leave us? She’s the best thing that ever happened.  _

_ I have to,  _ Loki responds.  _ Or else we might lose her forever.  _

Loki moves over to your side, kissing your cheek. 

“Were the croissants to your liking?” he asks conversationally. Many years of hiding his emotions is proving to be beneficial now. 

“Mhmm. What time is it?” 

“Late in the night, my dearest,” Loki says, “Though there is always time for a bit of… sport, if you will,” you poke his stomach with a devilish smile. 

***sex warning***

“Sex fiend,” 

“Winged vixen,” he responds, Lokitty disappearing in a wave of green light as he settles atop you. “Are you consenting?” 

“Mhmm! All good to go, lover boy,” you purr, pulling him down for a passionate kiss. Loki’s eyes flutter closed: how could he ever live without this? Without pressing his tongue into your mouth and without your love bites on his lips? He takes off your clothes, those silk pajamas in Asgardian style, and throws them aside. This, this barred skin, is the real treat. He presses his lips, his mouth, his silver tongue, in a meandering path down your body.

“Hah… Loki… you’re still wearing too much. I wanna see you,” you say, and Loki’s clothes are gone in a second. You lean up so that you can run your hands over his body, and he can’t remember being happier. Your nails are on the sharper side, so when you pinch his nipple, it hurts in the best way. Like fire running through his veins. He can’t withhold the breathy moan.

“Good, minou?” 

“Yesss, so good-” Loki moans, leaning into your touch slightly. You giggle slightly, and Loki feels his eyes dilate more. In a quick maneuver, he has you pressed to the bed and his erection grinding on your core. You gasp loudly at the speed of the motion. Loki’s long elegant fingers slip inside of you, your arousal lubricant enough to ease his passage. He plays you like a fine instrument, knowing what keys to press and which strings to pluck to make you sing. His heart is so full of your music, it makes it hard to hold back from entering you before you’re ready. 

“Loki, Loki, Loki-” you’re saying his name again and again, and it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. Are you sure you are not part siren? 

“Are you ready, darling? Because if you’re not, I do not think it wise to chant my name in such a seductive notion,” Loki teases, his voice a rumble in his chest. Your heels press into his back, guide him closer.

“I’m all good, I’m fine,” you assure him. Loki nods slowly, his hand brushing against the inner part of your delicious thighs before biting into the flesh, and enters you. 

It’s so good. It feels too good. 

Good, so good- 

This is the closest he can get to you. Pressing this part of him inside of you. Loki presumes the reason he stays in a male form for the majority of the time is so he can do this: so that he can thrust inside. Once, his manhood was used solely for selfish indulgences. Then, it was used to torture him. And now… now he uses it to see your face spark with pleasure and extract beautiful moans from your lips. You’re so blissful. He can feel it, feel how amazing you felt because of him. 

And it hurts. It hurts so bad because this feels so good- it feels so good as he slams into you again and again and he never ever wants you to leave but you have to or else… you’ll be hurt. 

He sees you look up at him worriedly as he slows his rough pace into nothing and tears start flowing down his face of their own accord. You reach up and touch his face, and he bites his lip to stop from sobbing. 

“Loki, Loki, honey, what’s wrong? Does it hurt?” 

_ Yes, this hurts it hurts so bad, I don’t want to leave you, I don’t want you to go away--  _

“No, no that’s not it. You’re fine, you’re perfect,” he says instead. You give him an odd look, seeing through him easily once he’s slipped up. Your soft hands, that have never seen the torture that Odin has planned, brush away the tears going down his face. Loki cages them to his face with his own pair. 

_ Keep her, keep her, keep her _ , his mind chants. By that… the Jotun inside of him chants.  _ You don’t know, you can stay, you can stop it, you can fix it-  _

_ No, no you can’t. You promised that if she was in danger you’d send her home.  _

“Then what is it? Something troubles you- you’re not the crying type, especially during sex,” she reminds him. 

“It’s… it’s nothing. Just ignore it,” 

“You’re lying, Loki,” you point at him accusingly. Loki sighs, exasperated. 

“Please darling, I lie for your benefit. Let us have this night, despite the deceptiveness of all of it. I do not want… I don’t want-” 

“Tell me, Loki,” you instruct sternly. Loki shakes his head. 

“I just want this, please, give me this,” he pleads. 

“Loki, I’ll give it to you anyway. But I can probably guess what the issue is, seeing this reaction. Something’s happening, isn’t it? And I have to leave?” 

Loki sobs more, his hard-on softening to nothing and slipping out of you as he falls onto you. You hold him, rubbing his back.  _ Forgiveness.  _

***alright we good***

“I’m sorry, I… I’m so sorry. I already told your handmaiden, and the shopkeep, you’ll have to leave early tomorrow. I don’t want you to go though,” 

“Then I don’t have to, right? I can stay with you,” Loki senses how your empathy and kindness makes you want to soothe him: and he despises it.  _ You naive girl, why are you making this harder than it is? Why can’t you just tell me off?  _

“No… no, you must go. I wanted to have sex once more, since I am not sure how long they will keep me here, but-”

“Hey,” you say softly, “Hey. Calm down.” Loki stops sniffling slowly at your command.  _ Whipped _ , his mind helpfully supplies. “Tell me exactly what you know.” 

He does. 

“Well, that’s quite the predicament. I agree it’s probably best if I leave. What about you though? You must stay?” 

“If I escape with you, I fear Allfather’s wrath. You are protected by visitation laws, and from Heimdall’s blessing. I am not. I fear that… I am in the same place I was on Midgard. What did you call it?” 

“House arrest. Or more logically, planet arrest,” you nod. Loki wraps his arms around you tightly. 

“I love you so much. I wish it wasn’t this way. I’d die a thousand times if it meant that none of this would have to happen. But I see no ulterior options,” he whispers into your chest. Truly, Loki does. He has never felt this kind of all-encompassing love in his life. Even without the soulbonds he made, even without your forgiveness of each of his flaws every day… he’d still love you. He’ll love you forever, no matter how long it takes him to come back home to you. Loki can promise you that, can swear it to himself. “I’ll love you forever. You have my undying fidelity, all my love until the end of time. Until my final breath, and after. It doesn’t matter how far apart we are, how many universes lie between us. I will never stop loving you, and I will always find a way to return to you. No matter how long it takes,” Loki promises. 

“That’s a hefty thing to say. You sure it’s not one of those things that will turn into a lie?” you ask. 

“I promise. My love is endless, boundless, and it will always return to you if you wish it,” Loki says. 

“Whelp, we better get packing, huh? And then, let’s try that sex thing again, how about that?” 

Loki smiles. You know exactly what to say, the perfect words. 

There is no doubt in his mind, as you stand up and retrieve your suitcase, that you leaving will kill a large part of him. Or momentarily stun it, so that it remains shriveled and broken until you return to shine for him once again. The life he could have had, the one with you beside him on Asgard… that has been soured irreparably. It will never happen, left to be a daydream- there will be no return to Asgard for you, despite how you attempt to think otherwise…

Perhaps the Moors, but Loki will not let you come to the palace anymore, even if it kills him… he would gladly give his life to shield yours. To protect that angelic smile, that charming laughter, the sharp wit, and the lovely soul. 

And he will lose it neither: death would be a small price to pay if it meant a return to what you had before this moment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *twiddles fingers* comments questions concerns?


	46. 3-29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you return home: but what really is that, anymore?

**You**

Loki let you sleep after you had packed the majority of your things. It was a shame you can’t bring this bed with you, isn’t it? It’s a shame you can’t bring this world with you. 

It’s a shame that Loki’s going to stay. You don’t want to be without him. Heck, you can barely remember a time without him. What were you doing? Reading in a tree? Not eating? It all seems so surreal now. 

Loki gently shakes your shoulder. 

“Darling, it is time to leave,” you rub your eyes, having already been awake for a few minutes though pretending to have just woken up for his benefit. You bring his face down for a kiss, and then brush his hair back and listen to his familiar purrs. Your heart is beating so fast… is it the absurdity of this whole situation? How fast it all happened? 

Is it pretending you didn’t feel Loki come to bed last night, pretending that you didn’t hear him cry softly in the quiet room? Pretending you didn’t know that he placed the deafness spell on you, the one he used over two years ago for the 4th of July, so you wouldn’t hear him as he sobbed? You could tell. You could tell. His eyes are still just a bit puffy. 

“Did you ever get to sleep? You weren’t beside me all last night,” you pout, scratching his scalp more. He purrs sweetly, pressing into your hand. 

“I’m sorry, my love. I was busy, doing this and that,” he excuses himself. It’s a lie, you know it is, but his eyes beg you not to mention it. So you don’t. 

“Alright. Do we have to leave now?” 

“Yes. You… we… leave now,” Loki says, retracting his head. You frown: he never declines more pets. He’d say later, or not now… this shit is real. He’s not joking. 

You’re going home. 

And it is not nearly as much of a happy homecoming as you thought it would be. You won’t be going back to marry Loki: you’ll be going back to escape his adoptive father. A refugee and not a happy to-be-bride. 

Loki helps you up, and you move to peck his cheek: he moves away, hands you your suitcase. A pang of sadness goes through you. You never thought you’d have to leave this way: this unfortunate and unhappy parting. As you wheel your suitcase down the halls, you reach out for Loki’s hand: he lets you take it. A quick glance at his face confirms your suspicions: he’s wearing a mask. An illusion, and schooled features below that as well. But his body quivers nonetheless. 

“Loki, are you okay?” 

“Yes, of course. Now stay beside me, we are almost at the front gates,” his answer is too quick, bitten off at the end. You frown again, and look away at the beautiful golden columns of the hall. How can some place so beautiful be so wicked? Well, it’s not the place. It’s the people residing in it. 

Loki glares at the guardsmen of the gates to let you through. Just outside of it, is a familiar wisp of a girl. 

“Aslief!” you shout excitedly. She turns and runs to you, squishing into a hug. Hugging her right back, you say, “How did you know I was leaving?” 

“The prince told me that you were! I’m going to miss you so much- do you think you’ll ever come back?” Aslief sniffles. You brush her hair back and smile sadly. 

“I don’t think so… not when Odin is the ruling power,” you explain, resulting in a devastated look from Aslief. You wink at her, “At least, not officially. I’ll sneak in with a portal,” 

“You can do that?” 

“I’m sure I can figure it out,” you shrug.

“I’m going to miss you… miss, you’re the nicest person I’ve ever met,”

“You flatter me, Aslief. But I’ll miss you too. Are you sure you don’t want to come to Midgard with me?” 

“Maybe someday I’ll visit, but this is my home, miss,” Aslief says quietly, wiping her eyes. You nod understandingly. 

“Alright. I’ll certainly come visit though!” Aslief smiles gratefully. A portal here would be a lot more power than usual, but you’re  _ connected  _ to this place. It would be fine, most likely. Speaking of- 

“I have to say goodbye to Maleficent! And the Moors!” you exclaim. Loki bites his lip, but nods. You smile at him, brush his cheek- he flinches. 

“If you must. I will remain here… please come back quickly,” he takes your suitcase, and you take to the air. It’s a quick flight to Maleficent, having been there so many times before. 

_ “Maleficent! I have to say goodbye!”  _ you shout to her, landing right beside her trunk. Her branches shake in indignation. 

_ ‘You’re leaving? Who dares force you to go?’  _ she growls. 

_ “Well, Odin plots to take my wings. So I’m going to go home. Back to Midgard,”  _

_ ‘What about all of the life here? Do you not wish to stay?”  _

_ “No, I do, but it’s too dangerous,”  _ you remind her. Maleficent sighs. 

_ ‘I understand… you must keep those wings of yours. But leave one of your feathers here,’  _ Maleficent presses. 

_ “Why?”  _

_ ‘Tsk, another lesson I have not taught you as yet. Leaving a feather will make it work as a homing beacon. You will be able to teleport to the exact location of the feather,’  _

_ “Even when it’s lightyears away?”  _

_ ‘Well, you still have to be familiar with the place you left it. But yes, it shouldn’t matter. Either way, the World Tree will guide you back to your home,’  _

_ “Home?”  _

_ ‘Here. The Moors.’  _

_ “Maleficent… there is so much more I need to learn about myself, and Fae origins and abilities, and I want to learn more about you but- not if there’s danger. Not if I could die from it. You said so yourself: I’m the first Dark Fae to return to our homeland in thousands of years. I need to find the others, if they’re out there, and I need to stay alive,”  _ You explain. Maleficent sighs. 

_ ‘I presume you are correct, though I loathe to admit it. I will miss you, little Fae,’  _

“ _ Me too, _ ” you sniffle, embracing Maleficent’s worn bark one last time. She makes a tutting noise and reaches her branches down in a hug-like motion. 

_ “Goodbye,”  _ you murmur, and then shoot into the sky to go to the Moors. 

As you expected, the residents of the Moors are both outraged and woeful that you are leaving. Balthazar wishes to slaughter Odin, to which you vehemently dissuade; Stellan comes from out of nowhere when he hears the commotion. 

_ ‘What’s going on? Mistress, what-’  _

_ ‘She’s leaving Asgard. That bastard prick Allfather is forcing her hand,’  _ Balthazar growls, looks every bit the dangerous tree creature. Stellan gasps, shaking his head wildly. 

_ ‘No, it can’t be- you just got here!’  _ he protests. You sadly hug him, ignoring how rough his bark skin is, in a non-verbal agreement.  _ ‘It’s not fair, it’s not fair- you’ve only been here a short while! Barely any time at all, and- what are we going to do without a Fae here? We’ve never been without a single Fae before! A-and, you’re the last one-’  _

_ “Stellan, _ ” you interrupt,  _ “there are two ways to go about this. Either first, I try and find a way to uproot Maleficent and bring her here-”  _

_ ‘It would kill her,’  _ Balthazar scoffs,  _ ‘And on the off chance she wouldn’t be dead the moment you lifted her the risks you’d have to take to travel her all the way back to the Moors is too high,’  _

_ “Alright, not that then- but there is one other option,”  _ you smile at them, slightly nervous about this suggestion,  _ “I can send Lo- my mate, to check on you,”  _ Balthazar’s odd eyes narrow. 

_ ‘He is not a real Fae, is he?’  _ You sigh, shaking your head. 

_ “At least, not in the way I am. He’s a shapeshifter, and the adopted son of Odin,”  _ you explain. The both of the tree creatures hiss at the mention of his name. You stretch your hands towards them placatingly.  _ “He’s nothing like Odin. Loki is sweet, and thoughtful, and strong, and protective,”  _

_ ‘Then why are you leaving? Why must you leave, if your mate is truly so strong?’  _

_ “No, that’s not it. We both know our limits: Loki’s a powerful Fae and an even more powerful sorcerer but neither of us can compete with Odin and his armies,”  _ you give in, honest in your answers. “ _ Neither of us wish to perish because of this. It is safer if I just leave, and return periodically to you all with my portals.”  _

_ ‘You have us! The army of the Moors! You can command the Tree Guardians, and we will stand up to the Allfather and end his tyranny!”  _ Balthazar demands. You shake your head: So does Stellan. Stellan reaches up and cups Balthazar's cheek, who stills with the gentleness of the gesture. 

_ ‘Love, I too think it unwise. I am angry, just as you are, but we cannot afford more losses.  _ **_I_ ** _ cannot afford another loss. Let’s lie in wait for now: and Mistress knows that if a time comes where she can no longer run, we will be right beside her to fight,’  _

Your eyes water at the beautiful words that Stellan says to his lover, how sincere and wonderful it is. Balthazar looks over to you, and nods his agreement before snapping off a bit of his shoulder and handing it over. You cup it in your hands curiously. It’s magic, you know that much, and it’s very easily to tell when you’re holding it. It’s a piece that’s semi-sentient you sense, and has no definite form. If you grow it using magic… it could become just about anything. And multiply. 

_ A miniature army, from a single twig.  _

‘ _ If the time comes that you need such a thing, you have it. Stay safe in Midgard, Mistress,’  _ Balthazar thumps his chest once, and you thank him for such a spectacular gift. Using your magic, you attach it to your horn by forming it into a snug ring. 

“ _ Now I’ll always have it. Thank you again, Balthazar. I’ll miss all of you,”  _

_ ‘Come back soon,’  _ Stellan instructs, and waving goodbye, you shoot into the air. It’s only until you’re halfway back to Loki that you realize you have a stowaway clamped onto your back tightly. How you didn’t feel Aspen before, you have no idea, but they’re certainly there and screaming for dear life. You quickly stop, landing on a large tree branch and helping them from your back. They curl into your palms, panting in fear. 

“Aspen! What are you doing, stowing away like that? I need to get you back to the Moors,” you reprimand. Aspen shakes their head tearily. 

“What do you mean, no? That’s your home, you have to-” 

Aspen smacks your palm, points at themselves and then at you. 

“You wanna stay with me?” 

They nod rapidly. 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Aspen… it’s a whole different world,” you have to make sure they understand: the little fairy is looking for adventure, and it will be one, but it’s not all fun and games. They have to take it  _ seriously  _ and that is most certainly not Aspen’s strong suit. 

Aspen thinks for a moment, and then their small body grabs onto your fingers and holds tight. 

“You’ll be staying for the long run, then?” you smile. They nod enthusiastically, ready for a new world. “We better get going. People are going to start to get going soon, and Loki’s probably freaking out,” Aspen nods seriously, then makes a show of latching themselves with their Hedgehog spines to harness themselves onto your hand. “Wait a sec,” you tell them, and lift them to hold onto your horns for a quick ride. 

And it is: you hear delighted noises from Aspen as you soar through the air, flapping your wings to stay afloat in the early-morning air. It’s always been crisp in Asgard, not polluted or smog-like like in the city. Perhaps you’ll miss this too: how freeing it is to fly here, beautiful in an ethereal way unlike NYC. And, as you guessed, Loki is on the Rainbow Bridge looking a little more than a little worried and with a whistling Brio beside him. You land, waving to Brio (to which he energetically waves back, clearly excited), and stand in front of Loki. 

“That was much too long, darling, we have to make haste. We can’t let any of the castle patrons see us as we depart,” he states coldly, starting off on the bridge at a brisk pace. You struggle to keep up with him, a frown on your features, and eventually end up giving up trying to meet his eyes and hang back with Brio. 

“What’s wrong with him?” you ask blatantly, worriedly.  _ Did something happen?  _ Brio scoffs. 

“Not even a hello? No ‘yes Brio, fantastic to see you, I’m quite excited to show you my home’? Just oh what’s wrong with my boyfriend, he’s being more sulky than usual? Honestly, is this not normal for the Dark Prince? All crass and huffy like that?” Brio teases. You glare at him, crossing your arms. 

“He’s never huffy with me,” you insist. Brio hums, thinking. 

“Ever consider how much he’s gonna miss you? The guy loves you a whole lot. More love than I’ve ever seen in my whole life, that’s for sure: it’s so cute it makes me sick, honestly, but you’re very nice and I can’t bring myself to reprimand you for your nose boops and butterfly kisses and whatever else- oh,  _ hand holding _ , yes that too,” Brio chuckles. You want to laugh, but looking at Loki’s straight back as he walks forwards dissipates the feeling. 

“I guess so,” you say lackluster. Brio puts his hand on your shoulder. 

“I could kiss you, he’d go ballistic,” Brio winks. You shake your head wildly. 

“There’s a fine line between ballistic and murderous, and that would cross it,”

“Well, how about you just talk to him? We’re running out of time, you know- the end of the Rainbow is just over there,” Brio points: and it sure is, Heimdall is only a couple dozen feet away. You thank Brio and run up to get to Loki (Aspen bounces uncomfortably on your head as you do so). 

“Loki? Mon minou?” you ask, clamping your hand onto his.

“What do you require, darling? We are almost there, you’re almost- almost h-ome,” his voice cracking at the end of it. You lighten your hold on his hand: clearly, he’s not  _ angry  _ with you or indifferent like he’s pretending to be, obviously he’s upset. You bet if you Looked at Loki’s face it’d be a layer of illusions. 

A quick peek confirms your suspicions, but it’s just so  _ many  _ that it hurts your eyes. 

“I love you very much, Loki, and going away for a while isn’t going to change that. And it’s not going to be forever, I know that much, and we’ll pick right up where we started when you come back. When you come back home, to me,” you assure him. That’s the final straw, apparently, and it laxes the illusions to the point that you can see the tears running down his face. 

“I don’t- I don’t want you to go, I don’t want you to leave me but if you don’t you get  _ hurt  _ and that’s even worse and everything is  _ bad  _ everything hurts-” he sobs, leaning on you heavily. You have to catch him and hold him close, kiss his forehead and try to force the two of you forward. After a moment, you give up with that plan and just let him reel himself in. Brio, blessedly, makes no comments as Aspen ‘icks’ and jumps from your head and onto Brio’s shoulder. 

“How am I supposed to go on without you? How am I supposed to do anything without you? How did I- how did I live?” he asks, pulling a lock of your hair to his face. 

“Just as you did before, you’re a very strong man, Loki. You don’t need me to be you. We’re like… we’re a window. One person on each side, looking in, looking out: and the window was open for a while, and that felt amazing, but we’re going to have to close it to weather a storm. But storms don’t last forever, right? We’ll open the window again tomorrow, and everything will be as it should,” you smile at him, holding in your own tears at his expression of heartache and loneliness. “Only for a little while, only until we’re both safe. And then you come back to me, alright, mon minou?” 

“Okay,” Loki whimpers, “Okay.” The two of you are right by Heimdall and the end of the Rainbow Bridge now. 

It hits you all at once: 

_ This is it. This is actually happening _ . Loki can’t stop his little whimpers and his twitching fingers as he hands you your suitcase. You lean up for a kiss: he does so carefully, moving his lips against yours delicately. It feels as though you’re about to snap. 

“I guess… this is goodbye then,” you say slowly. Loki’s lip quivers, threatening to spill tears, and you want to reach out but fear it will only make it worse. So instead you smile at him and wave over Brio (and by extension, Aspen) to go closer to the portal. Heimdall looks over at you from his perch by the sword. 

“Do I even need to explain, or do you already know?” you whisper to him. Heimdall inclines his head solemnly. 

“I cannot go against the king’s wishes… but to be precise, he never said that you weren’t allowed to leave. Or that I must tell him of your Moors, because I do not deem it a threat. You must understand there is nothing I can do for your prince, though I wish there was,” Heimdall tells you, the sentences betraying just how much he’s seen of the time you’ve been in his domain. 

“But you… you’ll tell him what I’m doing down there, right? You’ll help him see, make sure that he’s okay while stranded here?” you ask carefully. Aspen titters on Brio’s shoulder, and makes stern eyes at Heimdall, who chuckles. 

“Of course, my lady. Of course. I feel as though you have broken him in, and I fear that he will fall to lower depths without your guidance,” Heimdall’s low timbre of a voice sticks to your mind. You’re going to have to trust him: trust him, and trust Frigga, because who knows what Loki will do. Will he raze the planet? Murder? Perhaps worse, cry? Or, definitely worse, nothing? 

Who knows. Somewhere in the city, a bell tolls to rouse the townsfolk for the day. 

“Sparrow, I think it’s time for us to go,” Brio whispers. You bite your lip, but nod. Heimdall activates the Rainbow Bridge. Casting a glance over your shoulder, you try to memorize how Loki looks. The green eyes filled with the magic of Asgard… the long lashes… the clever sweet smile. Ebony long hair, that gentle nose, those long fingers. And what you know lies under it: the perfect pectorals… the lovely abs you’ve traced many times over… the handsome arms… that plump but shapely ass… and then the sharp v line and where it leads to. He waves to you from the portal, so sadly so longingly… he’s still crying. 

You might be the only one who hears it, with your sensitive ears, but Loki is begging you to stay under his breath. His mouth isn’t even moving but the “please, please, someone, anyone, I can’t lose her too, I can’t do it without her, please, don’t leave me don’t leave how am I going to do anything how will I be able to smile or live she’s my soulmate please,” is audible. 

“Brio,” you start, handing him your suitcase, “Wait a moment.” And then, before he can even retort, you run to him, run right into his arms. Loki encloses you in a tight hug, buries his head into your hair. 

“I’m going to miss you so much… how am I supposed to live without you? I don’t know if I can do this,” Loki whimpers. You squeeze him tighter. 

“It’s only going to be a little while! And then you’ll be back on Midgard with me. And we’ll finally get what we want… we’ll live together in that Norway house, and we’ll listen to the Beatles, and sing together. And we’ll get married. Before that happens, you’ll visit, and you’ll send me letters-“ 

“I’ll write you the most beautiful love letters, darling,” Loki agrees. You smile at him. 

“I’ll read every single one you send me. I’ll keep them all,” Loki smiles shakily in return to your sweet comment. You sniffle at it, and pull in closer to his chest. “You won’t forget about me, will you? And you will come home, right?” 

“Of course, of course I’ll come home to you. This is true love, you think this happens every day?” Loki quotes. You realize just how much you adore him: that’s a line from the Princess Bride. He remembered. He remembered a movie and a book that you loved, that you shared with him two years ago now because you loved it. 

“This certainly feels like true love,” you murmur. He nuzzles your face, hiccuping, interrupting his tears. 

“This is the truest thing I’ve felt in my life. I’m not letting you go, at least not in my heart. I will return to you. I belong with you, we are meant to be together. I am yours, I am yours, I am yours,” Loki repeats, shifting to the side to kiss your temple adoringly. “There is no one else for me. I will always return to you, you have my heart, you're my heart. Everything- everything going to be alright, as long as I have you, wherever you are, as long as you still love me,” 

_ Are you trying to convince me or yourself _ , you wonder, but squeeze him again anyway. Loki starts to cry again, perhaps not of his own accord but nonetheless. You wipe one away before stepping back. His body shakes, unwilling to let you go but forcing itself to. It hurts to watch, but it’s necessary. You wave a little as you back up, forcibly blocking out his pitiful whines and whimpers as his hands twitch towards you.  _ Come back,  _ his body language begs,  _ come back why are you leaving me?  _

It’s like he’s a precious kitten all over again, so scared of leaving you behind, scared that you weren’t eating, scared that you didn’t like him, scared that you were unhappy. It breaks your heart. 

“I love you so much, mon minou. See you soon?” 

“Yes. I’ll s-see you very s-soon. It will be no time at all,” he smiles, tears running down his face. They curl under his chin, and you think you can hear his heart shattering as he lies to you. He lied, he’s lying. It’s a lie. 

He lied, and he’s crying, because he has no idea when he’ll be able to come back to you. Loki has no idea. 

He had said once that Odin might want him to stay a year or more. And if he now has a government post- who knows. 

Asgardians live for thousands of years, your life is a blink to him. But he’s better than that, he’s better. You know he is, because his heart wrenching sobs show all of it. 

“Goodbye, my love. My sweet sweet love, my darling, I don’t- goodbye. No, no-,” he stutters, stepping forwards marginally towards you. You have to raise your arms out in a halt motion so he won’t follow you anymore. Brio whispers something about he shouldn’t be seeing this, and Heimdall shouts that you have to go, that people are noticing the Bifrost is open and it will be any minute now when the guards come. 

All you know is that Loki is crying and he wants you to stay, he’s begging you to stay, and you can’t but if he comes forwards anymore you’ll probably give into him. And then he’ll never forgive himself. The air is electric, thrumming with Loki’s power as he cries for you. They are small pained cries, desperate ones, ones that are pleading for you to stay with him. 

To stop hurting him.  _ Don’t do this to me,  _ Loki’s saying, and you want to respond with anything to make him feel better. To make him stop hurting by coming back to him, to please stop doing this to him. But you promised that you’d leave if you’d be hurt being here, so you must go. 

You gesture for Brio and Aspen to enter the portal, and then you wave to him, your own tears starting to roll down, one last time. They make it hard to see him, so you wipe them away. 

“Bye, mon minou, just for now, goodbye. It’s just for now, okay? Just stay here, Heimdall will help you, alright? I love you, I’ll see you so very soon, I love you so much,” you tell him, voice cracking multiple times as you back up slowly. This is the only way you’ll be able to leave, and it’s horrible, because you’re treating him like an animal about to snap and he deserves so much more. Loki’s shouting your name in a beseeching way when you finally back into the portal, falling backwards as if it were a diving board into rainbow streams. Loki’s screams for you follow you all the way down, and you tuck yourself into your wings to try and protect yourself from them, but they sink into your skin and stay there like brands. 

~~~~~   


On Asgard, Loki feels his heart and chest and body stretch light years to Earth through too many bonds, and it’s so excruciating that he screams. He falls to his knees, sobbing and yelling and oh Norns, this is  _ killing  _ him.  _ Come back come back come back please come back my love my love my love _

Logically, he knows that this had to happen, but his heart is shredded in the loss of his most precious treasure, his beloved who has his heart so far away. 

Heimdall has come to his side to comfort him, but instead is blown back by waves and waves and waves of  _ anguish  _ and it’s physical and it pounds the inside of the chamber in a distressed state, threatening to break in the golden walls. 

His

body  is

breaking  apart

because  of 

Love  and  it

feels like  he

is  **_dying_**

And he needs you but you’re not here and that endless loop of pain and want and hurt makes his body spasm and his mind is shattered and then he’s gone.  _ Logically _ , he knows he’s still there: he recognizes his body, left to only instinct and the aching bond, is moving about, growling at Heimdall and attacking and trying to run after it’s mate- there was something inside of him, with claws and teeth, that loved you very very much and  _ despises _ the spot they’ve gotten themselves into. It is enraged, anger and fire and brimstone. Loki knows that this is only ensuring his spot as a monster, but he can’t bring himself to care. He doesn’t care, not anymore.

Internally, Loki blubbers, crying and hiding so deep inside himself. He’s cold: it’s funny, he’s never been cold before- it’s dark, it’s so dark, and he’s blind. Loki is blind, and he wants his sunshine to come back. Inside, he is freezing and lonely and so very hurt. 

Is that your face? He wants to touch you. He wants to hold you and nose his war into your hair to hide his tears, and be held in your warm embrace so tight that he can't remember being cold, and he’s falling through the endless pitch-black sky and it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth because you’re so very far away and how unfair is that? 

How unfair is that. 

**_End of Part Three: Oh, Lover._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To preface, thank all of you for reading this far! I know it's long, and know full well there's a lot more coming, but I can never communicate into my words how much it means that you're all enjoying this as much as I am. I adore reading your comments, and the overall love that I've received. Though occasionally I feel undeserving of the praise, it does not mean I won't absorb it like a sponge. 
> 
> But in that regard, I must say that Come Home is going to be on a 1-2 week hiatus, as I was on vacation and had no time to write the next part! It's coming, it's in my head, but not in a way you all can read it just yet. 
> 
> So! Prepare for Part 4, coming sometime in September! 
> 
> Thank you!


	47. 4-1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the effects of leaving make themselves known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies, gentlemen, everyone in between and beyond- I hath returned! Chapters every Saturday!

The feeling of returning to Midgard without Loki was disturbing on its own: how you left him hurt even more. The image is ingrained in your mind: the tears, the pleading, the heartwrenching expressions. 

It makes your chest hurt. 

The Bifrost unceremoniously dumped you onto the front lawn of the Avengers complex beside an awed Brio and a cackling Aspen. You wipe at your eyes, trying to stop crying before the other Avengers come, but it’s no use. Every moment, it’s that image:  _ “No, please, no-”  _ and it breaks your heart. You curl your wings around yourself to hide. 

“Hey, Sparrow, I know it’s bad, and I know that was  _ hellish _ up there but you really have to help us out here- I have no clue where we are! At all! Please, quell your tears for only a moment so we can discern our location,” Brio says, desperately trying to figure out what is going on. You sniffle: he’s right, he’s absolutely right, you took him to an alien planet you have to take responsibility. You can cry more later. 

Looking around, it appears that you were dropped off in the exact same place you left. Albeit nighttime, with no lights on inside the compound. Though dawn had broken on Asgard, it seems that is not the case on Midgard.  _ Are they still in there?  _ You breathe deeply, wiping your eyes again before standing on shaky legs.

“ _ Hello! Anyone out there?”  _ you shout into the complex. Sure enough, it’s only moments before Vision phases through the walls to greet you. He offers you a formal wave and a small smile before scanning the group of people by you. Brio tugs on your sleeve. 

“Does that guy know he’s flying? Wait, is flying a normal Midgard thing? Damn, I knew I should have come here sooner-” 

“No, no, Vision’s different. He’s a robot, with an infinity stone,” you incline your head to him. His feet press into the ground lightly, like a bird touching down. 

“Who are these guests, Fae? And where is Loki?” he asks, but not before helping you to your feet. Your lips tremble and you hug Vision tightly. He startles for a moment before returning it. 

“Something has happened. Can I be of any assistance?” he asks carefully. You shake your head. 

“I need- Brio and Aspen are my responsibility. I need to- I need to make sure they have a place to sleep, at least until I can set them up-” you stammer, squeezing your eyes to stop your tear ducts from going at it again, and pulling into Vision more. You missed him… it’s not just that you’re upset, you swear. 

“I can handle that, it is okay. You seem… stressed. Perhaps you should go rest or drink some tea to relax?” 

You smile up at Vision: he’s trying his best, but you really don’t want an internet cure. You want Loki, and he can’t make that happen. Not in any way that’s safe whatsoever, at least. 

“Thank you, Vis, I’ll try,” you tell him. The doors of the compound swish open and Tony runs out. 

“Hey! Kid, you’re back! Is everything okay? Where’s Loki?” 

Your eyes water again.  _ Loki’s screaming, a million miles away from here.  _ Tony’s eyes narrow. 

“I knew it, I fucking knew it, he’d hurt you- I should have never let him take you up there,  _ fuck. _ What did he do? What the fuck did the bastard do to you?” Tony snarls, putting his hands on your face. You shake them off. 

“Loki didn’t do anything. It’s Odin’s fault that he’s still up there. He did the right thing, he sent me down here to be safe at the expense of his own happiness,” you explain. Tony purses his lips, disbelieving, but hugs you tightly to console you anyway. Over your wing, he notices Brio and Aspen. 

They wave awkwardly. 

“Are you going to introduce me to Twink & Twig over here or what?” He quips. Aspen sticks their tongue at him. You stride over, take them in your hands. Brio tugs on your sleeve. 

“ _ Hey, Sparrow, what’s a twink?”  _ He whispers, “ _ I don’t want to seem uncultured, I must fit in here!”  _

You look at his Asgardian dress, extravagant top knot, and downturned lips painted a bright purple. Patting his head, you say “Don’t worry buddy, you’re doing just fine. And you are a bit of a twink, so it’s pretty accurate,” 

“Oh! Wonderful! Hello, fellow Midgardian! My name is Brio! I am a,” he flourishes, “musician of the likes of which you’ve never seen!” 

“If I had a nickel for each time someone said that to me, I would have at least a dollar- which isn’t a lot of money, but weird that it’s happened so many times,” Tony deadpans. Brio looks rightly frustrated and dusts himself off as he stands up to meet eyes with the offender. 

“ _ Excuse me _ , my dear sir, but I am no mere mortal player! I am an Asgardian, and I have wares from across the Nine! Searched after instruments, enchanted by the very magic that intertwines this universe! This lovely Fae brought me here to expand my wares and sell my products to another realm entirely, and you will not squander that so quickly! I am, likewise, apparently a twink,” Brio winks at you, and you can’t help but giggle at it: he seems to think it means something with esteem. 

“Alllright, Music Man. Kid, why did you bring this guy?” 

“He’s my friend, and I wanted to bring him with me, and I asked and he said yes,” you concede quietly, rubbing your thumb on the back of Aspen’s head soothingly. Brio throws his arm over your shoulders in a chummy way. 

“She’s so lovely: and I’ve been teaching her the violin, and that usually breaks people!” 

He’s making a joke, but you touch your chest in relation to the word  _ broken _ anyway. Is your heart broken? No, it shouldn’t be: you and Loki are still  _ together _ \- it’s just long-distance now. Yeah, that’s it. No ones broken, everything’s fine. Just- push that image of Loki out of your head. Aspen taps your hand to break you out of your trance. Tony notices, sounding out Brio’s yammerings. 

“Let’s get these two set up with a guest room, Vision. I’ll take care of our favorite Fae,” he says, and you let him take your arm and lead you inside.

“See you tomorrow, Fae!! I’m really excited!!” Brio calls. You smile weakly at him, words failing utterly. 

When they’re gone, and Tony’s pressing the buttons on the elevator silently is when you start to cry again. 

Tony catches you, holding you close to his chest. 

“Shhh, shhh, I got you, sweetheart. I got you. God, when that asshole gets his pretty-boy face back down to Earth I’m going to give him a piece of my mind,” he growls. 

“It’s not- not his f-fault, T-Tony,” you whimper. 

“Yeah, you keep saying that, but then again you’re the one sobbing into my favorite Metallica sleep shirt about it. And knowing that bastard-“

“Trust me, Tony, he’s doing way worse than I am. I love him, but he’s loved me for longer. And it’s different for him… he’s lived so long, seen so much- I could never,” you look up, willing the tears to retreat but getting nowhere. Tony kisses the top of your head in a fatherly way. 

“If you say so, kid. I missed you, these last few months,” 

“It doesn’t even feel that long,” you whisper. Hadn’t it only been a few weeks? You sent them letters, occasionally, you would know if it had been a long while. 

“I know, time flies and all that,” Tony shrugs, a rugged smirk, “Especially with all the sex, huh?” 

You look away, not taking the joke bait. He hums sadly. 

“The tower feels empty,” you remark, stepping out of the elevator with Tony trailing behind to go to your quarters. 

“Well, everyone’s still sleeping. Steve, Nat, and Sam are all on a mission with Fury, and Clints on vacation with his family. Wanda, Vision, and Pietro are all here though! I wish there were

more people to greet you, but it seems it’s just me and Vision,” 

“What about Bruce?” You ask, nervous about the answer. 

“Still hasn’t shown. We… we don’t want to call it what it is, but you know…” Tony bites back the words. “We’re not going to talk about it, alright?” 

“Okay,” you murmur. It feels like you’re losing everyone, all at once, and it’s terrifying. Who’s next? 

“Loki’s going to send me letters, and he’s going to come home as soon as he can,” you say aloud, a mantra that will stick for the moment, and Tony sighs. 

“If you say so, kid. I don’t want to see you get hurt, okay? If it’s too much, if it gets bad, cut him off. Sure, Reindeer Games is pretty, but if you’re more unhappy with him then you shouldn’t stay. It isn’t healthy. This isn’t just because I don’t like the guy, though it’s well backed by the fact that he turned me into a mouse, it’s just some fucking good advice and you should take it. I’m not always this poignant, so listen up. You are a beautiful person, and you deserve to be happy. If you’re happy with him, then do that. If you're happier without him, then that. It’s not that easy, and trust me I know, but it’s a good start,” Tony presses, leaning against the doorframe of your quarters as you magic into pajamas and sit on your bed. 

Frank slithers down from Sarah and wraps himself around your shoulders. You touch his head affectionately: at least you have them now too. Frank nuzzles your hand, and you pull him in tighter. Sarah begins to sprinkle little bits of lulling pollen that makes you feel at peace, and Frank hisses softly. 

_ I love you too, little buddy.  _

“You going to rest now?” Tony says, the bed dipping under his weight as he sits beside you. You nod. 

“I think so… god, I’ve only been up for an hour or two and I’m already exhausted from being awake. I think… I’ll sleep in. And then… I’m going to need a distraction- I should do something. Just to,” you wave your hands around your head. 

“I get it,” Tony agrees, “We’d probably get it more than anyone else you’d ever meet.” You smile at him, then set Frank down on the end of the bed so you can shift beneath the covers. The emerald snake attempts to slither back, trying very hard to, and you end up having to pull him up to your level. You kiss his little head. 

“I got you, don’t worry. You can sleep with me, as long as you behave, okay?” you instruct sternly (much to Tony’s amusement) as you take Loki-Like (the stuffed black cat) from beneath the bed. Looking at it sends a pang of heartsickness through you, so you bring it to your nose and inhale slightly: it still smells like Loki. Perhaps it’s magic, but it  _ still _ smells like Loki when he slept in your bed the night before you left for Asgard.

You start to sniffle again.  _ God, if I could only go back.  _ If you recall, Loki had even said that he thought it was a bad idea. Your fingers squeeze the soft plush as Frank slides up your shoulders. 

“I just- I wish it didn’t have to end like that. I wish it was normal. I wish we were normal, god, Tony. I wish we could just be a normal couple, and do normal things. I wish I could just call him when I’m lonely, I wish I could introduce him to my parents and that his dad won’t want to kill me. Fuck, I want to be normal, Tony. I didn’t before, but now- now I see,” you sob. Tony rubs your back. 

“There’s nothing I can do about that, sweetheart. I’m sorry. I wish I could,” he says. Tony sounds melancholy: it’s nice to know he wants to help, but the fact that even Tony Stark can’t do anything about it makes you want to cry even more. 

“I love him, and I can’t even- I can’t even call when I miss him. I just- I wish there was something to like… distract me? But also… forgetting about Loki is unthinkable, and I want to see him so bad… it hurts my head. It hurts, Tony, because when I left it was so bad and I just wanted to stay and make him happy but I know I can’t do that without hurting him emotionally and myself physically,” your heart hurts, your head hurts, everything hurts. You let out a loud sob and then try to pull yourself together. Again. You lift your face out of Loki-Like and try to wipe the tears off.  _ I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll clean you up. It’s okay.  _

“You’re too fucking nice to cry like this. I’m really sorry that this bullshit all happened to you, Fae. But hopefully, it’ll look better after you rest up? Right?” Tony suggests, a hopeful tone presenting itself in his mannerisms. You nod forlornly, a frown present, and snuggle into the sheets. 

“Goodnight, Tony. I’m glad to be home, if nothing else,” you smile weakly, face still red from tears. Tony walks over to the manual light switch by your door. 

“Aw shucks, me too kid. I’ve got a few ideas that might make you happier that I’ll look into, okay? I’ll see you when you wake up,” he smiles at you as he turns the light and leaves you to your snake, your tree, and your whirling thoughts. 

~~~~~

**Loki**

Meanwhile, on Asgard, Loki dreams. 

< ‘ _ Darling, you must calm down,’ his mother scolds a child Loki with tears running down his fine cheeks.  _

_ ‘No! Leave me alone! Let me go! I want her back, give her back, make her come back!’ he demands, squirming against the fine dress she wears.  _

_ ‘Loki, please,’ she pleads. It stalls his upset for a moment: his mother sounds so tired. But it ends in a second, and he’s back to kicking and screaming and crying in anger. ‘Fine, fine!’ she finally gives in and lets him go. Loki scampers away, looking for someone excitedly. And there you are: smiling and waving at him only a dozen or so feet away. He shouts excitedly and steps forward.  _

_ The first step, he is a child, running for you full throttle.  _

_ The second, a bumbling teen, tripping over his feet as they grow.  _

_ The third, a young adult, whose eyes glimmer with hope.  _

_ The fourth, he is a slim man who uncovered more than he ever wanted to know and with lovely blue tones flaring beneath his skin.  _

_ The fifth step and the scars and bruises bloom on his skin, the ugliest flowers in his garden, and tears prick at his eyes.  _

_ The sixth, he’s landed safely in your arms, weary yet happy. So very old, yet so very young. You hold him, and it feels ageless.  _

_ He’s happy.  _

_ “I love you,” he sobs, his face wide and joyous, a hallelujah. “I love you so much, my darling. By the Norns, I adore you more than anything in the universe itself. I’d trade anything for you, I love you so much,” He wraps his arms around you, squeezes you tightly. “I’m so happy you’re here.”  _

_ You smile at him and kiss the crown of his head. He nuzzles your neck, brushing it with his nose. You chuckle at his antics, and he practically glows. My angel, my angel. How I love you so.  _

_ And then, you’re dissipating at his fingertips, dissolving into nothing. Loki screams in horror, then it quickly turns to blubbering as he tries to catch fleeting bits of warm skin and soft smiles and lovely hands, and your bright eyes that watch him sadly. He claws at the air desperately. “No, no! Come back, please! Darling- please, I love you, please-”  _

_ And then, you’re gone completely.  _

_ “Come back,” he whimpers, begging nothing and anything and everything, “Please. Whatever it is, I’ll fix it. I’ll make it better. You just have to- you just gotta come back. I’ll make it better, please,” Loki wipes his eyes, waiting for a response, anything to soothe him. The air is devoid of anything.  _

He  _ feels devoid of anything.  _

_ Loki turns back, teary-eyed, to his mother who sighs and pats her leg.  _

_ “Come here, my child. Come here, let me console you again. Once more, once more,” Frigga accepts Loki who mopes his way back to where he started, a child again, demanding to be returned his most prized treasure. > _

Loki’s eyes are nearly sealed shut from how many tears he’s cried that have dried on his face when he wakes up. His heart is beating uncomfortably fast, and there’s a great stabbing pain in his chest that refuses to lessen. Frigga sits by his bedside, clearly exhausted. She seems to have nodded off. Loki doesn’t want to disturb her and attempts to sit up on his own only to experience agony erupt in his chest. 

He squeaks and sets back down onto the pillows, that have this lingering delightful smell he can’t get enough of. It’s addictive, and he finds himself pressing his whole face into them to get more of it. It’s  _ intoxicating _ . 

What could possibly be so- 

Oh. 

Loki bites his lip so hard that it draws blood to keep him from losing himself again. Gods, how long had he been out? He barely remembers you leaving: it gets hazy somewhere after you hugged him. His whole body aches as if he’d been in some great battle. It occurs to him that perhaps… perhaps he had. Looking at his room (your room), there are torn apart pillows and slashed curtains and smatterings of dried blood. Was that him? His blood, or someone else's? How long had it taken to knock him out? 

Loki is no Thor, he could never match him in brute strength but… not even the blonde Thunder God would wreak this much havoc. Not even  _ drunk _ , would he go to rip apart everything the eye would see. 

It frightens Loki to no end that this is the work of some sort of beast. He looks down at his hands, the ones that held yours some time ago. Curls them. Unfurls them. Holds them together. Makes some kind of whimpering noise he never knew he could make until now. 

_ Perhaps… those mating bonds were a bad idea.  _

_ No, don't think like that. Recall how good it had felt: recall how lovely it was to feel your happiness bubble within your chest. How you knew how to help her, you knew when she was sad, and you made her happy. _

Pain flares in his chest, so bad it makes him gasp. 

But how was he supposed to know this all was to happen? You were supposed to stay with him for longer, that was the plan: you were supposed to live together and he’d explain the bonds and you’d accept them and this would never have occurred. 

If he wasn’t as wise as he is, if he didn’t fear his father just a little bit… he’d assassinate Odin right now. 

Loki didn’t notice he was growling lowly until his mother startled awake and cursed in a foreign tongue. 

“Okay dear, just calm down, please, your mother wanted to rest for only a moment: please, by the Norns, do not try and tear apart your room again, I only got it back in somewhat reasonable shape last time,” Frigga begs. Loki’s eyes widen.  _ What have I done?  _

“I- uh- what is going on, Mother? I don’t understand,” he asks, unsure. Frigga looks so relieved, it’s even more unsettling than her fear. 

“ _ Thank the Norns, _ you’re back in your right mind. Finally,” she breathes, embracing him in a warm hug. Usually, Loki at least pats her back. Now, it’s the strangest thing, as this strong hate bubbles inside of him, this aversion to being touched by her at all. He stamps it down, ignoring it. 

It is all the more surprising as she goes to slap him across the face right after. He clutches his face, shocked. 

“ _ What the Hel was that for? I don’t even know what the Hel is going on!”  _ Loki protests. 

“That was for instilling Asgardian  _ marriage  _ bonds on a girl who you only recently started courting! A girl who didn’t even know for sure if she loved you until only a few weeks ago! A girl who hasn’t agreed to them at all, who clearly does not even know of their existence! How foolish are you? I thought I had raised you better than to make such a foolhardy choice,” she reprimands. Loki’s lips curl back in an unfamiliar animalistic snarl, a beast inside of him demanding the defense of his mate. 

“She is the one who I  _ will  _ marry, and I love her more than anything-” 

“I understand that, but  _ my son _ \- do you not understand the weight of these things? They are heavy magic, only to be done after you are sure you can handle them. After you are in a stable relationship. This was… this was very foolish. And increasingly dangerous, as you sent her away. That is possibly the worst thing you could have done. And I don’t even understand why you… why you broke out like that, at the Bifrost… I am sure you do not recall but it was- it was grisly, my son. Grisly and bloody and I had very much hoped that I’d never have to see you like that.” 

“Like what?” Loki asks, oh so carefully. He’s nervous beyond belief. 

“Loki, when I had come, you’d already been fighting the army for a few minutes. There were at least a dozen bleeding bodies on the ground, and only the strongest of them or the magically protected soldiers could even peel themselves off the walls against the waves of your magic. You froze them, and bit them, and ravaged them. Loki, you nearly killed many innocent people,” Frigga holds him steady with one of her hands as Loki puts his head in his hands. He tries to summon an image of him as a beastman, clawed and angry, but even he cannot fathom it. 

“I got there just in time, my sweet, and sedated you with magic to take you back to the palace. They’re all okay. Everyone is okay. I’ve given you some medications that should help with the heart pains. But it still does not offer me any sort of reasoning-” 

“I must apologize to you, Mother. I am sure that to you, it seems irresponsible and irksome that I would do such a heavy permanent thing. But you must see… I needed something.  _ Anything _ . Everything, really, to tell me of her love. To feel her in every inch of myself, to have her soul nestled in mine. She is my lover, my mate, my wife, in all the ways that will ever matter. No amount of space or time will ever negate that, no matter her pending acceptance or her distance. I am hers, and she is mine,” Loki stubbornly says, knowing how childish it must sound. How it must sound like a storybook, imbecilic and unrealistic in its ideologies. But it’s true. Loki wants to cradle the pain in his heart with his hands: because it hurts like nothing he’s ever known (so much he feels paralyzed) but at the same time, he adores the feeling because it means that you’re out there somewhere. 

_ Wait- how long have I been asleep? I have not gotten a chance to send her a letter, to check if she’s alright to see if she made it home-  _ Loki’s trepidation mounts rapidly.  _ You fool, how could you be so selfish? Give, give, give.  _

“You did  _ more  _ than the Asgardian Marriage Rites? To have all of these reactions… by the Norns, Loki, that’s incredibly dangerous! Beyond just  _ having  _ them, leaving them unrequited- I cannot fathom how you weren’t in a constant state of pain,” Frigga exasperates, her unasked question answered by Loki’s stony stare. 

“It would not be the first time I was in pain and forced to conceal it, Mother,” he sighs, before forcing his body to move despite the stinging pain. He can see how the potions that Frigga gave him is the only thing allowing him to be upright: clearly, those will have to be a staple in the coming days as he plots a way to allow him to travel back to Midgard with Odin’s blessing. Frigga protests Loki’s stumbling movements, trying to pull him back to bed, but he swats her hands away. He needs to draft a letter. 

It will surely take a lot of effort, too much some might say, to retain the relationship the two of you had- have. It isn’t gone, Loki reminds himself firmly. He will never cease to love you, never cease to pursue you unless you don’t want him any longer. Until that: he will write as many love letters as you wish and weave his way out of this palace. 

_ ‘ Dearest darling, _

_ I do hope you have returned to Midgard safely. You must write on the back of this letter and let me know that you’re okay: I am already stricken with utmost worry that something unforeseen occurred.  _

_ I am… fine. You mustn’t worry about me whatsoever: know that no matter the distance, I remain firmly in the deepest depths of love with you. Nothing will shake that. Still, now, I seek you out at my bedside: your warmth and breathing are missed dearly in our bed. It is far too cold without you.  _

_ My dearest dove: the true love I’ve always yearned for… my pain in the lack of your presence feels nearly all-consuming. It truly is a beast, I’ve found, and I feel nearly unfamiliar with myself without your light to illuminate it. I have only been apart from you-’  _

“Mother… how long was I resting?” Loki asks, firmly refusing the tremor he feels to come out in his voice. Frigga stands from her sitting spot on the mussed royal blankets, frowning. Loki’s hands shake, a scribble tarnishing the cream stationary with the sweet words he’s inscribed for you. 

“Only a day, I’d say,” she whispers. Loki breaks the pen: ink spills everywhere, but in the fraction of the second it occurs his magic sweeps it up and erases it. 

“ _ Only a day?  _ Are you quite sure?”

“Yes. Quite. If you’re feeling better… may I return to my own quarters? If that is alright, my son?” she suggests carefully. Loki feels his lips twitch. 

“ _ Quite _ ,” he mimics, and Frigga makes haste to escape. Loki will feel remorse about the rudeness later: she had only helped him, after all. Though… that only makes his rage increase marginally rather than decrease. How dare another person make moves to help him: you are supposed to be the one to hold him to your bosom and kiss his forehead soothingly. 

No one else. Loki grows very close to destroying the room again: he pulls himself back from the brink just in time. 

He will not write that in the letter: he will not expose his weakness, because even though his body hungers for you with a near-starvation feel, he will not risk your life. The lies he spins into these letters are ones of omission: you will be none the wiser. 

‘ _ I love you, my dear. So very much, that it hurts.  _

_ All my love, _

_ Loki _

_ Your Loki _

_ Your Kitten.’  _

He seals it with a kiss and a royal seal, and then sends it through the realms to your room on Midgard. Loki’s left a part of himself there anyway: your snake, a small aspect of Loki in a different form, will act as the bridge required to send his letters to you. 

“For you, my dear. I am sorry that I was late- do not fret, I will always be there when you have need,” he murmurs as the letter disappears from sight. 

And now… he plots. He waits, and plots, and attempts to quell the pain by sheer force of will. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, questions, concerns! 
> 
> Also...
> 
> Minor Reader Contest for Come Home Because Lehuka’s Indecisive  
> Just pick a thing. 
> 
> “When you wake up, daylight is filtering through the window, buttery and warm. Frank even slithers off of you to go beside your head in a particularly bright spot of light. You feel better, despite it all: sleeping it off seriously helped your mental state. In your head, you try and think of some ‘Without Loki’ things to do. 
> 
> It would be nice to hang out with the Avengers and your other friends, you can learn a new song or practice the violin and help Brio with his shop, you can play matchmaker and set up Brio and Josh (it makes you excited just thinking about it), and get Pietro with the X-Men. 
> 
> What should you do first?” 
> 
> You can comment one of the activities, and I’ll count that. If you have any other ideas, let me know! I’m also accepting suggestions.


	48. 4-2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you start to adhere back into the life you once knew, without the man you love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter today, a little exposition and stationing in the MCU. The good stuff will be coming next week, and X-Men are showing up the week after!!

When you wake up, daylight is filtering through the window, buttery and warm. Frank even slithers off of you to go beside your head in a particularly bright spot of light. You feel better, despite it all: sleeping it off seriously helped your mental state. In your head, you try and think of some ‘Without Loki’ things to do. 

It would be nice to hang out with the Avengers and your other friends, you can learn a new song or practice the violin, you can play matchmaker and set up Brio and Josh (it makes you excited just thinking about it), and get Pietro with the X-Men. 

What should you do first? 

It’s a real thinker, truly. You debate this notion, pulling your knees to your chest to think. The door slides open, revealing: “ _ Wanda!”  _ you shout excitedly. She blushes, and you race to embrace her. 

She makes a surprised noise: you recall that she was still a tad nervous around you when you left. You smile awkwardly as you release her from her grip. 

“Heh, sorry about that… I’m just excited to see you, is all! Is Pietro here too?” you ask excitedly.

“Ah, yes, he should be awake now. My brother is a late sleeper,” she laughs. Her accent is much fainter now: and she dresses in a crimson cardigan and a beige loose shirt. It’s all very different: it’s clear that she’s changed in your absence. There’s a moment of silence between you, and though it isn’t uncomfortable, you wish there was something else to say. “Did you know that Tony is bringing two new people into the Avengers?” 

“ _ What _ ?” you gawk.  _ New people _ ? What had happened when you were out? “ _ Why?”  _

“Well, Tony and Steve had been talking about it for a while… We've had new recruits like me and my brother but most of them are busy and unable to come at a moments notice. They thought it wise to look out for more possible Avengers. Or Avengers in training, I mean. They each picked one, because-” 

“Because they needed to replace me and Loki, right?” you guess. Wanda bites her lip but nods. It’s a little disheartening to hear, though expected. None of the Avengers knew when you’d be returning, though you said it wouldn’t be long: if something happened, it would make sense that they should get some backup. Being replaced still hurts though. 

“Well, no one could really replace you, don’t worry!” Wanda presses. You smile agreeably. 

“Has anything else changed?” you wonder aloud. She starts to say something but is interrupted by a silver flash and a huge bear hug. 

“ _ The lovely Fae has returned to us!”  _ Pietro declares, heaving you into the air and swinging you about. You giggle, tapping his shoulders to let you down. His cheerful expression fills you with similar joy. 

“Hey, you’ve gotten a haircut!” you doubletake: what used to be a mop of dyed silver locks is now shorter and cropped to his neck in the back. It’s long enough in the front to still sway over his eyes a touch, but not nearly what it used to be. Pietro poses dramatically with various hand gestures.

“You like it though, yeah? I look  _ good _ ,” he winks at you. You shake your head, laughing, and agree with him.

“Yup, it’s a good look for you. And it’s wonderful to see you again. Hey, did you see Brio and Aspen? They’re the two people I brought with me… kinda my responsibility if I took in aliens to Mid- Earth,” you worry for them: goodness knows if they’ve accidentally killed themselves with the toaster by now. 

“Oh! I left them in the living room. Somebody came in today, and Tony made pancakes!” Pietro claps his hands together excitedly. You wince. 

“ _ Tony _ made  _ pancakes _ ?” 

“Yes!” you quickly flashback to the discussion you had over a year ago now: Tony should under no circumstances be cooking. Let alone for your Asgardian companions. 

“Oh god, Pietro, can you run me to the kitchen? I think I should save my power to resuscitate whoever is now dead,” Pietro’s eyes go wide, and he hoists you over his shoulder. His hand is on the small of your back, and for a moment, he hesitates. 

“Do you think your Loki would be okay with this?” 

You freeze. Wanda laughs nervously. Inside, it feels like your heart is cracking a little bit more.  _ Breathe, don’t cry, don’t cry.  _

“I am sorry, I don’t understand- what’s the matter?” he sets you down from his shoulder, cups your face and wipes away the budding moustire. “Hey, hey, what’s the matter? Oh, did he break up with you? Did  _ you?  _ Is that why he isn’t here? You two are always together, I just assumed that he was out getting something or other-” Pietro very quickly begins to ramble apologitically. You sniffle and shake your head. 

“No, no- we’re fine. He’s just still on Asgard. He’ll come back soon,” you assure him. Rather, yourself. Pietro makes a ‘o’ with his mouth and offers a thumbs up before lifting you into his arms.

“Oh well then… that means I can attack you with love as much as I want! He can’t stop me now, haha!” Pietro turns it into a comical matter, and you instantly feel better. Wanda looks relieved. 

“I have already eaten- Vision and I are going to the beach. Pietro, don’t do anything dumb- make sure he doesn’t do anything foolish, Fae, would you?” she barely waits for you to say yes before flying out your open window and into the car with Vision awaiting below. You glance to Pietro, make a motion with your hands. 

“I’m not sure what’s happening with them either: it’s something, but kind of hard to tell. You know, my sister is strange and he is a robot, so- and you don’t need to watch me, I’m very responsible!” Pietro pouts in a childish fashion, and you pinch his cheek. 

“Yeah sure,” you tease: he raises an eyebrow, smirking, before dashing off so fast that you might have lost some feathers along the way. 

Quicksilver skids to a halt in the living room, and plops you on the couch. Brio and Aspen are in fact at the small table there: they seem awestruck by Pietro for a moment before waving to you at all. You glare at Tony, who is not making pancakes at all, and is instead sipping some coffee and watching Brio. Who is eating… normal looking pancakes? 

That can’t be right. Jumping off the couch to inspect more closely, you glare at them in their normalness. Lifting them to check for a horrendous underside provides no closure: they seem  _ perfect.  _ How can that be? You meet eyes with Tony: he seems bemused by the whole interaction. 

“ _ Tony, how the fuck are these pancakes decent? Are they secretly poisonous?”  _ you demand. Brio gasps, dropping his fork: Aspen shrugs and keeps on eating unbothered. Tony smirks.

“Ye of little faith, I didn’t know going to an alien planet would make you come back so pessimistic,” he raises an eyebrow. 

You look at him drily. 

“I didn’t make them,” he admits. 

“Then who possibly-” a head pops out from the kitchen: it’s a man with brown hair and a warm expression. 

“I thought I heard someone else? Hey, do you want pancakes too? This is a weird test to see if I’m good enough to be an Avenger, but… whatever, it’s what I’m good at!” he says sheepishly. Wanda was right: they are truly expanding the Avengers. And this man… is one of them. 

_ Well… might as well introduce myself!  _

“Hi, I’m Fae! Who are you?” 

“My name’s Scott Lang. Captain America asked me a while ago if I’d be interested in joining the Avengers, and you really don’t say no to that guy,” he grins boyishly. 

“Not to sound judgy, but… do you have powers or anything?” you flap your wings a little worriedly. He seems plenty nice, and you’d really like to be friends with someone who cooks pancakes that smell this delicious, but… you’ve been on edge recently. 

_ I wonder why,  _ you think darkly in your head. 

“Oh, totally understandable! I have a suit that can make me really big or really small with the power of science! I call myself,” he strikes a pose, which would be hilarious just on it’s own but paired with the whisk in his hand is even more so, “ _ Ant-Man! _ ” 

“Well, we’ll have to keep you now, you cook so well!” he moves aside to retrieve a plate of fluffy wonderful pancakes, and chuckles. 

“Yeah… this is about the only thing I do, anyway. Cassie- that’s my kid- demanded pancakes every weekend since she’s been little, so you learn to get good at them. Everything else… eat at your own risk,” 

The two of you smile at each other. 

“Can you tell me about Cassie?” you surprise yourself with the question, but Scott looks delighted. 

“Yeah!! Uh, let me finish off the batter, and then I’ll sit with all of you in the living room. Take this plate for the speedy guy too, will you?” 

“Oh, Pietro? Sure-” at the call of his name, Pietro zooms in and steals the plate from you before speeding away again with a clipped ‘Thank you!’ hardly audible. You and Scott laugh. 

~~~~~

Scott is fantastic. Wonderful. 

He’s extremely nice, and goofy, and just fun to talk to. It helps you forget about your problems, and he doesn’t ask about them which is also very nice. Brio and Aspen ask many questions about him though: about being human. 

Scott fields each one with no judgement and humorously. He’s smart, and good with kids. Speaking of...

Scott, you discover, also loves his daughter very much. A heartwarming amount. An amount that makes you want to find your own parents: but still, you have no idea where to start. Maleficent had said a portal to nowhere, and in this case, nowhere is anywhere. 

You’re in the middle of explaining how your powers work when Tony struts in. 

“Okay kids, we’re going on a field trip!” he claps his hands. 

“Where are we going in your Magic School Bus, Ms. Frizzle?” you ask cheerfully. Scott snorts, whispering ‘ _ good one’  _ under his breath and high fiving you. 

“Haha, very funny. Just a quick trip to New York to check up on some stuff, and guess who’s gonna get us there?” Tony bats his eyes at you. You fiddle your fingers awkwardly. 

“For how many people though?” you say nervously, “I’ve never done more than… three, I think,” 

“Well, we have to drop Lang-” 

“No, it’s cool! I could totally stay here, just phone the guys and ask them to move my stuff. You said I could stay, didn’t you?” Scott questions. You grab onto his forearm tensely. 

“He can stay? Please, Tony, let him stay, please,” you plead. Scott looks at you: and then quickly catches on to your shtick and makes puppy eyes at Tony. 

“Yeah, please? It would be nice to not have to scramble for a house,” he says sheepishly. You make a large ‘o’ with your mouth. 

“He’s just like me! Come on, Tony,  _ please _ ,” you beg. It’s the beginning of your story: though it’s obvious he has somewhere to live, there’s something else that tells you that he’s not in control of it fully. And it means he can sympathize with you the same way Loki did: it means you’ll have a friend you can vent to, in the building, who understands fully your struggles. The struggles with going to get food yourself. With big spaces of people. With money. 

“Alright, if you really want to,” Tony relents. Your heart warms: 

It’s very clear that this was his intent from the beginning. 

“But, you’re gonna have to portal us to New York. It’s not as far as the Tower was from the good ol’ Barton Family Farm, anyway: you can totally handle this, Bird Girl,” Tony presses. You sigh. 

“I’ll give it a shot: but you know, when I did that, I passed out afterwards, right? And even if I don’t, I might not have magic left to do anything,” you remind him sternly. Tony shrugs. 

“We can take the Jet from the Tower on the way back,” 

“Alrigh- wait, there’s still stuff at the Tower? Aren’t we all here?” you blurt. It had been your understanding that the Tower was all but empty. 

“Well, yes, but we’re keeping both active right now. I’ve been working on a direct transport system between the two, but for now, we’ll use it as training for you to get better at long distance portalling at a faster and more efficient rate. You said practice had helped you before, right?” 

“Yeah, when I was training with Loki,” you nod. Tony’s clearly put thought into this: it’s strange. Tony Stark is both an extreme forward thinker and an in-the-moment sort of person. No one can predict what he’ll say or do. 

“Awesome! I don’t know if you did anything besides fuck in Asgard without the rest of us around-” 

“Hey!  _ We did more than have sex!”  _ you squeal, throwing your hands over Brio’s ears. He looks at you drily, as if to say,  _ I already knew that. _

“Yeah sure,” Tony waves you away with a hand, ignoring Scott’s mortification and Aspen’s giggling, “And even if you did practice, we only have one person on the team who can do the transport thing. And Quicksilver is fast, but he gets tired even as he trains to have better stamina. You’re super important to the team, you know: our healer,” you ruffle your feathers and blush deeply. It feels good for a while, and then…

_ But I’m going to leave, aren’t I? When I marry Loki. We’ll leave the Avengers.  _ You bite your lip, and glance at Tony about to explain. But he smiles at you sadly. 

“We need you on speed dial wherever you are, Fae. We don’t know if some cataclysmic event could happen: we need you to be able to come to us, and still have enough magic to help us out,” Tony explains, rubbing one of your horns. 

“Oh,” you say. This man- this lovely charmer, is the kindest most thoughtful thing. You have overwhelming love, fatherly love, that you know that even if you somehow locate your parents you’ll never love them like you do Tony. “Thank you, Tony.” 

“Anytime, Fae. Now, get your ass moving: you gotta change into something you can fly around in. Because he should be around the city now, and if you’re gonna catch him you’re gonna have to be fast,” he chuckles. You blink. 

“Should I be worried?” 

“Nah, you’ll be fine. Scott, Rhodey and Pepper will be coming any minute now to help you with the paperwork and the various NDAs and all that junk. Kid, do you want to bring your new pals with you?” Tony asks. You glance at them: if you bring them with you it means that you can then introduce them to Carroll, Katy, and Josh. You still haven’t seen the finished renovations, and you haven’t met the new person they’ve surely taken on by now. 

“Do you guys want to go? I can introduce you to some people, and we can look around to see if there’s any retail stores available to buy for your shop, Brio,” 

Brio gasps delightedly. 

“That would be fantastic! Imagine, Brio with his own store! I had naught but a tent before, and now- ooh! I could have a recording room! You can’t get very good quality in a tent you see, and it would be wonderful if I could record stuff, test it out… agh, I’m so excited! What about you, my dear little tree-friend?” Brio coos at Aspen, who is taking the last pancake to themselves: how they put it all away you have no idea, but here you are. They pat their stomach happily. 

“Too full to do anything. Do you want me to bring you upstairs for a nap, Aspen?” you smile at them. Aspen clutches their pancake to their chest and nods. You chuckle, and swoop them up into your hands and begin the trek to their room. The guest rooms are all conveniently on the first floor: it’s not far at all with your human sized legs. It would definitely have been an adventure for tiny Aspen though. 

“Are you enjoying your stay here?” you question serenely. They nod smilingly. Makes a heart with their hands and blows you a kiss. “Thank you, Aspen.” 

Points to you, makes a crying motion.  _ Are you okay? I saw you crying.  _

“Oh… yeah, I guess so. It doesn't hurt anymore, not like yesterday… but it feels empty, somewhat. It was better with Scott and everyone, because I could ignore it,” 

Aspen frowns. Points to you again, crying, broken heart with their hands. 

“Am I sad because of Loki? Yeah, that’s it. I love him very much, and I don’t want him to hurt. Not like that,” you sigh, opening Aspen’s door (she gets a full room all to herself), “It feels avoidable. Like, it didn’t need to happen. It’s saddening to think about the ‘what ifs’. What if we never went to Asgard? What if we left when I wanted to? What if Loki intervened earlier? What if Thor had been there? You know, all that,” you wave your hand to shoo the thoughts away. Aspen pats your hand consolingly. 

“Thanks, Aspen… now, where should I set you down?” 

They demand the bedside table, and you set them (and their pancake) down to do whatever it is tiny Fairies do all day. Then with a wave, you fly down the hallway narrowly missing the walls with your wingspan, and greet Pietro and Tony in full costume outside the facility. Brio is there too, but not in nearly as impressive clothing. Rather, his normal long robes in a shade of bright green with grey accents. 

“Alright honey, are all the kids packed and ready to go?” Tony’s helmet slides down to reveal him in shades. It’s overall a very cool look, very suave. 

“Ready for takeoff, Captain,” you quip back. 

“Does everyone know the plan?” Tony presses. Brio raises his hand in question; Pietro puts it back down. 

“Umm, actually I could use a refresher?” you squeak.  _ You never actually said what we’re doing.  _ Tony seems exasperated. 

“ _ Fine _ , okay. You portal us to New York City: wherever you want, just  _ there _ . Then, me you and Pietro go around the city: you take Queens, Pietro takes Manhattan, and I’ll cover the Bronx and Staten Island. Your little singing friend here can go wherever: drop him off somewhere, I guess? You know, me asking if they wanted to come was more of a courtesy than an invite, but whatever,” 

You hum, thinking.  _ Josh is still at the library, isn’t he? I could just… put him there with him. And see if they mesh.  _

“Wait a second, what am I actually looking for?” 

“A kid in a red and blue suit that looks like he made in Home Ec,” Tony smirks, “Goes by Spiderman.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns! (And Happy Rosh Hashanah!)


	49. 4-3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you locate the next addition to the Avengers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haaaaah... guess who went out with friends and read manga instead of finishing their chapter? 
> 
> (It’s me)
> 
> Sorry that it’s shorter than normal, lovelies!

The portalling was difficult, but surprisingly not exhausting at all. You could even go out on a limb and call it  _ easy.  _ Which is amazing to think about when you were so unable to do this a while ago. You went to the place you know best: your Garden. 

Pietro and Tony sped off nearly instantly after you touched New York soil, leaving you and an almost too excited Brio to your own devices. 

“So this is where you grew up, huh? It’s really nice. Very pretty- all the buildings look the height of the palace of Asgard… though I must say we have bested you in terms of grime management. Ew,” he shakes his feet to separate them from a stray plastic bag. You chuckle.

“That’s a very good point. Now, we’re relatively close to the library- we can walk, if you’d like... “ you start to say, until you look at Brio’s timid expression and his silk-like flats.  _ No, we’re not walking. And he’s too big to fly.  _

_ Do I have to make another portal?  _ You don’t really portal short distances: now that you’re thinking about it, why haven’t you done that before? Would it take as much energy as a long one? Well, it’s time to find out. You stretch your hands, pulling on your magic, and begin to form another honey-coloured portal with the clear image of the library in your mind. Breathing deeply, you instill it in the world. 

It doesn’t feel strained at all.  _ How much stronger am I?  _ You wonder in amazement. 

“Come on, Brio, I’ll introduce you to my other friends,” 

“And this Josh, he’s there too? You’ve certainly given him an amazing reputation, I’m simply delighted, but of course, he’d want to meet someone so extraordinary as I-” 

“Get in the portal, Brio,” you sigh goodnaturedly. 

“Fine fine, I’m going, let’s go,” he continues to talk as he steps through the portal: motormouth indeed. 

Stepping out of the portal proves that not only was it ludicrously easy to form but it went to the exact spot you envisioned. Brio gawks at the large building, looking inside the windows at the many books. Thankfully, it appears to be relatively empty: no events scheduled for today, you note, as you look at the chart on the door. You gesture for Brio to join you inside. There’s a bell now that tinkles as you enter. Inside, everything’s mostly the same, but larger. Josh has wisely chosen to use the funds to make the shelves larger and add several step stools, so there’s many more books on display. There’s a small cafe, just what he wanted, attached to the side of the building: you can just barely catch a glimpse of a glass cake case full of treats. It makes your heart happy, though bittersweet as it is to see a place you love growing without you. 

“Hey, welcome- oh my god, you’re back! Josh, Katy, get your asses out here, Smiley’s back!” Carroll started out in their regulated dry tone, but it quickly fluctuated to unbridled joy when they met your eyes instead of the front desk computer. They jump to their feet, and then smile widely.

“We had no idea where you went! We tried to contact the Avengers when you didn’t stop by, because who fucking knows what happened to you but all we got was some grouchy guy, what the fuck, where were you?” 

“I told you, I was going to Asgard,” you explain carefully: an angry Carroll is probably the worst Carroll possible. 

“Yeah, for  _ two weeks,  _ but then months go by and,” they slam their hand against the table. Katy finally pops out of the back, and her happiness is so palpable that you feel tears at the edges of your eyes. She barrels into you for a hug, resting her head on your chest and squeezing tightly. 

“ _ I’m so glad you’re back, I missed you so much, I wish you’d send us more letters, check in at least,”  _ she whispers. You nod, rubbing her back, and apologize. 

“Sorry Carroll, I got caught up with Loki, and the Moors, and everything,” they growl at you in disbelief. Brio cowers behind you, and you wish you could too. 

“Where is that fucker, I’m going to give him a piece of my mind- just because he’s your boyfriend doesn’t mean that he can keep you away from your friends like some pet,” 

What they say resonates within you oddly: it was a little like being hidden away, wasn’t it? Was the relationship you savoured so sweetly unhealthy? 

You don’t doubt that Loki was trying, is trying, but… he’s exhibited unhealthy things before. Many things. Has it gotten worse without you seeing it? Were you so caught up in the grand show that was  _ him _ and his delectable words and his richness in all meanings of the word and loving him? 

You know that you’ll be analyzing every interaction, every movement, every kiss later. But now- 

“SMILEY!” Josh interrupts your escalating argument with Carroll with his usual copious amounts of energy and excitement. Katy’s still hanging on when Josh reaches over her to embrace you as well and peck your cheek. “It is  _ so  _ good to see you! I think we all missed you  _ extremely _ . Even Carroll. Right Carroll? There wasn’t any yelling I heard, it was just my imagination?” 

Carroll glares, flicks up a middle finger, but nonetheless goes, “Yeah, yeah, we all did.” 

“Wonderful! Ooh, and who’s this handsome fella?” you smirk: Josh is peering over your shoulder at Brio. Instantly, Brio’s puffing out his chest and coming out of hiding.

“My dearest greetings to all of you Midgardians! I am Brio, of Asgard- a purveyor of musical oddities, fantasies, and dreams! Anything your heart desires, I can make it into music,” he croons. Katy claps, Carroll eye-rolls and goes back to working, and Josh gets a mischievous glint in his eye.

“ _ Anything _ , you say? We have to talk more, pretty boy, how bout you help me ice the scones? They’re hot, and fresh, and ready to go,” Josh is  _ already _ flirting with him, and you haven’t even officially set them up yet. Brio grins broadly, suave as ever, and links their arms to follow him to the kitchen. You walk to Carroll at the desk as Katy excuses herself under the notion that you’ll be returning soon. 

“Loki’s stuck on Asgard,” you blurt. They startle and look at you. 

“The sorcerer, this super powerful guy, is  _ stuck _ ?” 

“His father- err, the Allfather, has him in a snare. He didn’t abandon me at all, and he didn’t force me to stay. He asked, and I agreed,” 

“But you see how it’s sketchy, right? Are you  _ sure _ you’re not just playing into what he wants?” Carroll’s not being condescending, they’re genuinely worried, but it makes you angry for Loki anyway. 

“Yes! Of course! He was  _ sobbing _ when I left, clearly not of his own accord! It was a mess. And even if he’s not being healthy sometimes, we love each other. We figure each other out,” you press. 

“If you insist… but you have to promise me. If it gets bad-” 

“Come to you, I  _ know _ , so many people have been saying that-” 

“ _ Don’t interrupt me!  _ I was going to say, ask for advice from Josh. He’s been in these situations more times than I can ever possibly count. He might see it, from an outside and yet inside perspective, better than you can. You’re so close, you won’t notice. Until that is, one day you’re crying alone and you realize it. Then, come to him for help. Promise?” 

You’re shocked. They’re right, they’re completely right. You wouldn’t know. Loki’s a black hole: you’re sucked in right away. And it gets hard to see where you are. 

He’s wonderful, kind, thoughtful… all those adjectives, but then there’s also darkness. Copious amounts of darkness. You have to be careful. 

“Thank you, Carroll. I’ll take it into account- but I really have to go now, I’m on the clock to search for a Spiderman,” you start to head out, but Katy sticks her head out. 

“ _ Hey!  _ I know about Spiderman!! He’s on Youtube!” she exclaims, brandishing her phone and quickly typing it into a search engine. And there he is, the guy you’re going for (at least, you assume a guy): he zooms around the city with webs, it appears, and wears just like Tony said. An outfit that looks like it was scrambled together with things a teen has in his home and some halloween costume stuff. But… he’s got potential. You understand what Tony sees in him: he’s always loved making the underdog the greatest. Taking people from the bottom and posing as their mentor. 

“He’s usually in this part of Queens, so look there,” she helpfully supplies. You smile at her thankfully, and then run out of the library and into the open air before taking off completely from the ground. 

~~~~

You’ve been soaring through the skies for a solid half-hour now: and you’ve just caught sight of the webslinger. He’s  _ fast _ \- but you’re faster. In a few wingbeats, you’re flying alongside him. It’s all too easy to lean back, relying on your strong wings, and talk to him as he swings. 

“Hi there! Mind stopping for a chat?” 

“Oh! You’re- oh my gosh, okay. Uh- yeah? Sure?” he stammers. You smile widely, and allow him to lead the way. Soon enough, you’re gently flapping your wings to land lightly on the top of the Queensboro Bridge next to the infamous Spiderman. The cars rush down below you, unaware of one winged female dangling her legs above their heads. Spiderman delicately sets himself down beside you. He lifts up the bottom of his mask to talk to you. 

“Uh, you’re Fae! From the Avengers! Oh my god, this is  _ insane _ -” he squeaks. You laugh: he’s adorable, and so very excited. 

“Not really- you’re the one who’s got the great powers!” you bump shoulders: a blush erupts on his partially exposed cheeks. 

“No, you’re amazing! You’re a whole different species, and you have way cooler powers than I do! I had to get mine, yours are natural!” his hands flex as he talks. You ruffle your feathers a little at the compliments. 

“Where did you get your powers, Peter?” you ask. He stops in his tracks. 

“I uh- who what Peter?” 

“That’s your name, isn’t it?” 

“Uh- cough- no?” he looks away:  _ man, he is bad at lying.  _

“Tony told me, you don’t have to worry about it: plus, you’ll have to unveil your secret identity to the team anyway,” you chuckle. Now that you think about it, no one on the team actually has a really secret identity. You never needed one: you didn’t really have a life before the Avengers anyway. 

“Oh! Oh. Yeah! That makes sense,” Peter says sheepishly, and then: “YOU CAN CALL MR. STARK BY HIS FIRST NAME??” 

“Uh… yeah?” you wince at the sudden loudness of his voice, and then flush slightly. You’ve been doing it for so long… you sorta forgot that Tony was this enigma of a man. He’s become more intimate to you: a fatherly uncle-esc misty thing that you can’t help but trust on. You love him (platonically). 

“Oh, sorry, you have sensitive ears, I know. But seriously, that’s so cool! Mr. Stark is so,” Peter waves his hands about, “ _ awesome _ .” 

“Hah, so you’re a fan, huh?”

“Well, who wouldn’t be? He’s brilliant!! A total inspiration intellectually, at the very least,” he gushes. It’s easy to forget that Tony is also a genius sometimes, in between the quips and the smirks. 

“No wonder he picked you for the Avengers- not that you’re not powerful enough! Speaking of… what  _ are  _ your powers?” you question. 

“Well, I might be able to do more: I’ve only had them for a few months,” 

“Are you young enough to be a mutant? Ooh, or maybe an Inhuman! Has the Terrigen Mists come around again?” you’re quite curious about those Mists- last time they came around a whole load of new villains and renegades in its wake. 

“Oh, no. Radioactive spider on a field trip,” he answers, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Aha,” you giggle: hilarious that your world has become a world where radioactive arachnids are a perfectly normal occurrence.

“So, powers. Let’s see, there's my sticking to everything… so I can climb on walls. Also, I  _ definitely  _ have super strength. I punched through a wall. And then there’s my spider sense-” 

“You don’t really call it Spider Sense do you?” you snort. Peter frowns. 

“Maybe in my head I do,” he pouts. You pinch his cheek playfully. 

“What do other people think of it then?” you follow up with. He mumbles something, embarrassed. You poke his cheek, “Tell. Me. I’d like to be your friend, but you gotta spill the beans,” 

“Wait- uh, friends? Really??” he squeaks.  _ Just too adorable.  _ You can tell right now that you’ll adore every second with this High Schooler: despite the age difference. 

“Only if you tell me what other people call it!” you accuse. He frowns but finally relents in a tone barely audible above the city noise. 

“Peter Tingle,” Peter mopes, “They call it my Peter Tingle.” 

You nearly fall off the roof chortling hysterically. 

“Hey!! It’s not that funny!” he gasps, though he can’t seem to withhold his laughs either. You wipe your eyes as it fades: god, after the days you’ve had recently, it was good to laugh so hard. Peter’s going to great to have around. You suddenly remember what you were supposed to be doing. 

“Oh shit! I have to tell Tony and Pietro I’ve found you, they’re still running around the city!” you exclaim. Tapping the collar of your costume, you pull up the helmet to communicate with them. 

“Hey, guys, I’m really sorry, but I’ve been chilling with Parker for the past… half hour or so. I forgot to comm in, sorry again!” you apologize. Tony’s video comes in the upper right corner of your vision: he’s eating a half-wrapped shawarma with Pietro gawking at his food in the background.

“Yeah, we kinda assumed when you stopped movin- and Sonic the Silver Hedgehog over here was dying for some food, so we stopped at this great place I know. Hey, fun fact: this is the place we went after we beat your boyfriend that one time! We left a big tip for letting us all in there,” he smirks, still eating. You nod, heart panging as you recall what Loki related of the same incident ( _ ‘I was begging them to please, just kill me already, and instead- instead they took me to a restaurant, and for a moment, there was peace. It was quiet, or as quiet as that metropolis could be, and Thor fed me little pieces of food. I hadn’t eaten in days: it felt like Vahallah. It felt like I had already died and gone to heaven: I wasn’t safe by any means, but at least I was no longer directly puppeteered. The mouth guard was painful, the chains restricting… But at least I was my own person again… they took away the blasted sceptre and the tesseract was out of sight. No more whispers, no more Thanos: It was Escape).  _ You shiver at the thought of a Loki like that: so dark, so suicidal… it’s terrifying. The Loki you know is strong (for the most part), kind (most of the time), and wants nothing more than to live as long as possible with you (all the time). 

“Well, should I ask the questions if you’re not here?” you question. Tony shrugs. 

“He’s a minor, so there’s not a lot of legal stuff you can get him to agree to… I’ll have to think of a guise for him being on the initiative. Ask him about school, would ya? Extracurricular activities and all that might get in the way,” he reminds you. You nod, and tap the collar twice more to dissipate the helmet. Peter’s been waiting for you patiently, excitedly. 

“That was Tony,” you explain, “And I guess I’m going to ask a few questions so you can be on the team.” 

“Wow! Okay! Do I need references, or- oh, should I get dressed in something more professional??” Peter worries. You chuckle again: he’s  _ adorable _ . 

“You’re fine! Okay, so- you already told me powers. And your webs… they’re machinery you’ve made? Have you patented it?” 

“Uh, yes, and no. I can’t really patent it without causing attention to myself, so I haven’t done it yet. I make the web fluid myself too: I’ve been experimenting with it for a while. I think I’ve gotten something good: it lasts for a few hours, and sticks well,” 

“Would you like a new costume by Stark Industries?” you question. These are all the things that you can recall Tony asking Scott earlier. 

“Uh,  _ would I _ ?? I didn’t even know that was an option!” he squeals. Amused, you take note of this and move on to the next question. 

“Would you be moving into the Avenger’s compound upstate?” 

“Uh, no, I have school and my Aunt needs help, so- yeah, I’ll visit though!” 

“What other commitments do you have outside of superheroing?” 

“Uh, there’s Academic Decathlon- yeah, I think that’s the only thing I haven’t quit yet,” Peter hums thoughtfully. You frown:  _ quit _ ? 

“You know, you don’t have to stop doing the things you love to be a hero. In fact, you should be doing them even more so: heroism is taxing, Peter. It’s stressful. It’s sometimes traumatizing. You need to have hobbies and friends outside of it so you don’t get caught up in all of it,” 

“Oh, don’t worry! I’m very responsible! I’ll be fine!” 

“Peter,” you look at your lap, squeezing your eyes tightly shut, “Heroism takes something out of all of us. Being a hero means being a villain to yourself. It means sometimes putting others so far ahead of yourself that you don’t even realize you’re left behind,” you accidentally bite your cheek thinking about it: the taste of blood reminds you of things. You don’t even kill people: how can the other Avengers  _ live _ ? You know they go to therapy, but still- 

“Hmm. I guess you’re right. But at the same time… I’d rather leave myself in the dust for a little while than let innocent people get hurt. I have these powers, and I’m going to use them for good. You know- great power comes great responsibility and all,” he does air quotes around the phrase. 

“Is that like… a common saying or something?” you question confusedly. Peter blushes and rubs the back of his neck. 

“No… it’s just something my Uncle Ben used to say a lot. It’s sorta memorable, isn’t it?” 

“You’re going to make a fantastic addition to the team, Peter. I think we’ll be able to leave you here, and I can come and pick you up for missions,” you grin. Peter claps excitedly once more, and practically throws you his phone. 

“Do you wanna- exchange numbers or something??” 

“Oh, totally! I might send you random stuff, sorry- I didn’t have one on Asgard, and I missed a lot of stuff… not to mention that literally none of the other Avengers are going to get it. Tony’s too intense about it, Steve has but a flip phone, Nat doesn’t really appreciate you filling her phone with random stuff, and the rest of them don’t really understand. So- meme buddies?” 

“Meme buddies! My friend Ned sends me a ton, I’ll just forward them to you,” he grins lopsidedly: you wish the mask was off so you could see the entire boyish expression. 

“Ooh, yes! Please do! Um, I think Tony will be in touch? Do you have an email?” you ask, unsure at this point. 

“I’ll text it to you, Fae,” he offers a thumbs up, taking his phone back into his pocket. 

“You can call me by my given name, you know,” you tease. He flushes again. 

“I- uh- no, I don’t think so. You’re a hero! I’ll work my way up to that, I’ll just call you Fae, heh,” he waves his hands awkwardly in front of him.  _ Adorable!!  _

“Should I call you Spiderman then? Spidey?” 

“I guess when I’m in costume, sure- but whatever you want to call me, it’s fine!! And you know, it might be pretty awkward since you’re a pro and-” 

“Alrighty then, Spiderman,” you cut him off smilingly, “I’ve got to get going, it’s getting late. You get home safe, okay?” 

Peter nods happily, and you simply push yourself off the roof and let your wings carry

“See ya soon, Spidey!” you chirp, before pulling up your helmet display and figuring out the fastest way to get back to Brio. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, comments questions concerns! The schedule changed because I had a few good ideas! The next chapter will be part Loki part Fae, and then it’s X-Men time!


	50. 4-4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we get to see what Loki's up to.

You were not ready for what confronted you at the library as you strolled inside. Carroll: same exact spot. A new piece of gum in their mouth. Katy: helping an elderly woman with the autobiographies. 

But Josh: Josh is  _ in Brio’s lap playing with his loose hair.  _ Brio’s hair cascades down his shoulders, Josh is whispering something as he rubs it between his fingers, and Brio is  _ laughing _ . 

_ Maybe I should just- leave him there? He seems mighty comfortable,  _ you think to yourself drily.  _ Is this how the Avengers felt when I and Loki were cuddling together?  _

_ God, I want a cuddle.  _ Loki, especially as Lokitty, gave the best cuddles in the whole world. His arms attach to your side, nestle in as close as he can, and his head rests either on your chest or in the pocket between your shoulder and ear. Loki would purr, or just quietly hug you. Surround you with his cool love. When you looked over at him he was always smiling. Not wide or even mischievously: just a small sliver of joy. 

_ ‘No, please! Don’t leave me, please, please, stay-’ _

Gritting your teeth slightly, you robotically force yourself over there. 

“Hey, you two,” you awkwardly finger-gun, “It’s time to head home!” Josh mock-pouts childishly, grasping onto Brio’s shirt. 

“Nooo, Smiley, you can’t take my little singing angel,” he coos. Brio breathes out heavily, smirking at him. You, on the other hand, struggle to keep your smile.  _ Be happy for them goddamn it. Angel… angel’s just a name. It’s just a name.  _

_ ‘Alright, my sweet angel,’  _

_ ‘I don’t deserve you, wonderful angel,’  _

_ STOP,  _ you command your thoughts. Trying to divert them, you focus back on Brio and Josh. 

“Why must I return with you? Josh is taking such good care of me already, he’s said that I could come to his home!” Brio clasps his hands together excitedly: it strikes you how happy he must be to come to a home he never knew. Come home.  _ When will Loki come home?  _ It’s unfair to be wanting him now, it’s only been two days, but still. It’s two days more than you ever wanted. 

“Josh, is that alright with you? He’d be a sort of roommate, at least until I can get him set up somewhere and his shop going,” you sigh. 

“Smiley. Darling. I am adopting this man, and I am stealing his clothes. I am taking him to work with me. He is just a big puppy, and I am adopting him,” Josh states with no lack of joy. Josh has had a long string of so-so or not very good boyfriends. You’re happy for him. Truly. You smile painfully. 

“Aw, very cute. I just  _ knew  _ you’d be perfect for each other!” you grit out. 

_ Jealously? Is that what this is? Or is it just pain?  _

“Thank you for introducing me to Josh! Though his name is strange, he’s very sweet. We get along swimmingly- did you know that you can skate on ice here? And he suggested we get this thing called pizza, which I’m very excited about. He’s very suave,” Brio says, “Sort of like your Loki, hmm? Much nicer and more amicable, but just as romantic, I think,” 

He keeps talking but you’re not listening anymore. You’re biting the inside of your cheek extremely hard, drawing blood, to stop the tears from falling. Your wings droop sadly, then shake as your body refuses to lift them back. Brio says something, and Josh throws his head backs and laughs. Then Brio follows suit. 

You wrap your arms around yourself, imagining it was a hug with much longer pale arms rather than your own. 

‘ _ I love you, my darling’  _ and that’s it. You’re crying. Josh seems to hear your depressing sniffle and his eyes separate from looking deeply into Brio’s and focus on you. In a flash, he’s on his feet and clasping your shoulder. Brio follows easily, though standing back slightly. 

“Smiley, you’re not looking very smiley-” he chuckles, the humorous tone fading after you continue crying despite how you wipe at your eyes. 

“I’m sorry, it’s not fair of me,” you cry, “It’s cruel for me to do this, you can just leave me be, I’ll be fine, I’m fine!” you weakly push Josh away, to which he ignores your hands and brings you in for a hug. 

“No, it’s not fair that you had to be separated like that. It’s not fair of Loki to be acting like that like he can’t live without you: because he can, and you can, and it’s cruel to leave you like that. It’s an abusive tactic, Smiles. Making you rely on him so much, because ‘I can’t live without you’! I know you love the guy, and I can tell he’s at his core a good person, but that was a beyond shitty move. Making you think that he needs you like that, and then refusing to let you stay? Both are horrible. Okay? Not your fault. And neither of us blame you for being upset: we’re going around flaunting the thing you just lost if even you’re losing it only briefly. The thing is, you don’t know when you’ll get it back. I get it, babe, I get it. Alright? You’re all good. Shh, it’s all okay,” he calms you easily, hugging you tightly. The other patrons of the library are blissfully ignoring you as you clutch to Josh’s lapels and wring out the rest of your tears. 

You’re crying for multiple reasons now: loss of love, loss of faith. Loss of closeness, loss of innocence.  _ Did Loki know? Was it all an act?  _

The idea that it was some sort of ploy, some wicked game, tears your heart to shreds. You wail in agony. 

“Honey, Smiles, calm down sweetheart. Loki is not an abuser. From what I gather from Angel Cakes over there, he’s very very very new to genuine relationships. With kindness. With generosity. With compromise. With Love. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt when I say that he probably didn’t know what he was doing to you. Heck, you didn’t even know until I pointed it out right now! That man loves you. But his heart is all twisted, alright? You’ve done a good job of untangling it, but you fell in love and got blind somewhere along the way. But I’m going to help you, okay? I’ll always be here to help you because I’m your friend. And a friend who knows how much this shit sucks,” he wipes away a tear with a glittery fingertip, and smiles. You return it ungracefully but truly. 

“And yes, I’m keeping Brio. Because it has been a long time since I dated a happy nice guy and damn do I need to get it on. You know, Captain America was the last kiss I had! At the carnival two years ago!!” You gape at him open-mouthed. 

“There are a couple of things I need to ask, but first-  _ Steve kissed you?”  _

“Well, yeah. Star-Spangled Banner came back later while you were napping on Lokes and kissed me in the most scared delicate way I’ve only seen in teenagers and blind people. So we started going, and I got really excited- and then he backed down. Said it was unfair to a couple of people, and he’s sorry. And then we talked about crippling loneliness. Good times, all in all,” Josh shrugs. 

“Captain America… is gay?” 

“No, he’s Bi, I think,” Josh waves his hand as if this was common knowledge. 

“Wow,” you breathe.  _ You learn something new every day, I guess. Or multiple things.  _

“Hey, what’s more American than getting down and dirty with a dozen other men in a muddy muddy trench?” Josh winks, Brio laughs joyously, and you giggle. The other question you have to ask though-

“And wait… the carnival was over two years ago? What month is it?” 

“It’s nearly November. Did you not feel the chill?” 

“No, I didn’t,” you whisper. You met Lokitty in July over two years ago. You became an Avenger over one year ago. You were in Asgard for  _ several months.  _

People have been going along with your story for your sake.  _ Oh.  _

You don’t know if you should be angry or thankful. 

And Loki didn’t lie to you, you’d know… so it means that he genuinely thought it had only been two months. Who had lied to Loki?

You think you already know the answer. But at this point… who knows. It’s another mystery. 

Saying goodbye to the happy (yet now cautious) new love birds and the other occupants of the establishment, you call Pietro and Tony and go home with the two of them. 

It’s late already, and you’re exhausted from the portals and flying, so you excuse yourself to your chambers. The feeling of lying back on those pillows after a long day is enough to make you stave off a shower for a little longer. 

And think for a moment too. 

_ Loki’s been manipulating me. Maybe.  _

_ I’ve been away for months and no one wanted me to know. Maybe.  _

_ Loki will return soon. Maybe.  _

_ I… I missed my birthday.  _

_ I did, didn’t I?  _

You give a little laugh of disbelief: Loki kept you in Asgard, and both of you forgot your birthday in June. You can’t blame him, of course, you can’t time is very different on Asgard but… he forgot. Loki had forgotten. 

Does he wish he could forget you? It’s a nasty thought, an intrusive and cruel one that worms its way into your mind and takes root.  _ No, stop- he doesn’t doubt you, and you don’t doubt him.  _ Just as you think this, a cream letter with gold-leaf accents falls into your lap from nowhere. A smile erupts onto your face with little warning, striking any doubts from your mind. 

Opening the letter is a salvation, a much-needed rescue from drowning. You hungrily devour Loki’s looping script, each word and period. 

He signs it with “your kitten”. It makes your heart melt. You flip it over to the blank side and rummage through the bedside table for a pen. Latching onto one, you scribble a response. 

‘ _ Dearest Lokitty!  _

_ I was beginning to become worried. It’s been a few days, did you know? I miss you very much. I got home perfectly fine. Everyone was excited to see me! But still… it hurts to be here without you, mon minou.  _

_ We’re recruiting two new Avengers! The both of them are very nice: I have my suspicions that Tony sped up the process so I wouldn’t be lonely. And for the record: I’ll always worry about you! Who’s going to help with your mischief if I’m not there? Hehe-  _

_ And I don’t want you to be in pain, minou. Really, I don’t want that. I want you to come home as soon as possible because… well, I don’t feel good about sending this through a letter and not in person but you were wrong. Time works differently in Asgard. It’s so much shorter there: months have passed here. It’s quite odd.  _

_ I know it’s not a big deal and I shouldn’t be making it one- but we missed celebrating my birthday! It’s really not an issue but isn’t that crazy? Yeah. We have a lot to talk about. It’s been a little rough, to be honest. I wish you were here so we could talk it out together.  _

_ But in other news!! Brio and Josh are getting along swimmingly! Isn’t that great?? Also, juicy gossip: Steve’s bisexual!! :O!!  _

_ Sorry I’m not so good at writing these things. Your letter was romantic and beautiful and mine feels more like something a kid would write at sleepaway camp. Sorry.  _

_ But hey! Have you checked on the Moors yet? How’s Frigga and Aslief? Did Odin do anything to you >:O !!  _

_ All my love,’  _

You sign your name beneath it, and the letter disappears in a puff of green smoke.  _ Well, that was cool.  _

Settling beneath the blankets -forgoing a shower altogether- you clutch your cat stuffed animal and relax to go to sleep, wondering what Loki could possibly be doing on Asgard.  _ I hope he likes his new job, at least.  _

_ I hope he’s happy, almost as much as I hope he’ll be back soon.  _

**Loki**

Your card returned to him fast. Too fast, it seems: the day had barely ended. Loki’s been assisting with the upcoming trade agreements… political maneuvering seeming almost too easy. Lonely though.

This letter is the closest he’s getting to coming home to you at the end of a long day, and it gives him joy. Longing, a deep one, but joy alongside it. 

_ My sweet girl, my darling who I miss with all my being-  _

Loki eagerly opens it: maybe it fell right into your lap and you wrote him back that moment. His heart beats excitedly… the medicines that his mother had made him take reeled in the pain but put no hindrance on his excitement. 

His eyes scan your handwriting, hungrily devouring each and every one of them. His emotions rise: then fall. 

_ I forgot about her birthday. How could I- _

He clenches his fist- needing to put the force gathered there somewhere, he punches the wall nearest to him: his hand goes through it completely. 

Loki ignores it, flickering it back into completion with an illusion until he can get someone to fix it. Throwing the card to the desk, Loki paces angrily. Guiltily, more honestly. 

_ What kind of man would do that to her? Am I but selfish swine, looking for none but myself?  _

_ What a great start: forgetting her birthday, being incorrect about time itself- I’d just as soon forget our anniversary.  _

He punches the wall again: his heart is painfully fine. It hurts because it’s not allowed to under Frigga’s magic. 

_ Calm down: you’ll write more often. You’ll find a way to keep track of time on Earth. And then you’ll never miss a moment.  _

_ And I can still hold an event for her: It’ll just be a surprise, is all. She loves surprises.  _

You do- you love it when Loki would provide something unexpected. Unlike any other person he’s met in his life, his unpredictable antics don’t make you cry or scream but… laugh. And smile. He sniffles a little: a weak noise, very unmanly, but who truly cares? Who cares about it that Loki cares about their opinions? 

He cares for none of them. Loki takes to writing another letter for you, and one for Stark.  _ I will make this right, darling. Anything for you. Anything.  _

As he sends them off, the door opens. 

“Who dares enter my chambers without knocking?” Loki says in that dangerously calm tone of his. 

“You wouldn’t touch your father and king, would you?” Odin says, sounding very much high uppity about it all. 

“Ah, AllFather. To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence for? Was my work today unsatisfactory?” Loki turns to face the man himself, plastering on a smile as if he wasn’t just losing his mind moments ago. 

“No no- it’s very impressive. In fact, it seems that I was a bit foolish to ignore your talents until now,” Odin compliments him. Loki’s ego is stroked by this statement: he worries for what the Allfather will follow with. 

“Hmm, a point I know all too well,” he counters, pretending to have something to be doing. 

“I have come here to ask you a question,” Odin begins.  _ There it is.  _

“Well, I suppose you should ask me quickly then, so that I may return to my duties,” 

“Why in the Nine Realms would you send your little… friend… back to Midgard? Think as I might, I could not see your reasoning at all. Last I saw, you were downright obsessed with her… did her magic wear off? Or did you finally come to your senses another way?” he says idly. 

Loki, previously hating the medications is now utterly thankful: for if he didn’t have them, he’d probably be tearing Odin’s head off by now. Even still his hands shake and his eyes twitch. 

“You repeat yourself, Allfather, so I will give you the same answer: I have changed my mind about nothing. She has me under no spell beyond the truest of loves. She is no pet or ‘friend’- she is who I will marry. For love this time. For love and nothing more or less.” 

Odin has the audacity to laugh in disbelief.

“I cannot fathom how you are able to continue the illusion that some creature can love you. You surely see how you’re fooling yourself? Or are you desperate?” 

_ That doesn’t even warrant a response,  _ Loki sneers and turns his cheek. No matter what the old man says, he envisions your face. Your laughter bubbling up in you at some mistake or triumph.  _ I delude myself of nothing. My Fae loves me, of that I’m sure.  _

“Oh, dear,” Odin says in a tone that is so demeaning it’s physically painful, “Are you truly that lonely? We can set you up with another woman: even a man would suffice your needs, wouldn’t it? Perhaps you should take on a bed warmer. They’d do better than a wretched Fae, anyways… I can’t imagine her animalistic tendencies were any sort of pleasuring in bed,” 

Loki knows he’s being goaded on, being pressured to say the real reason you were sent away or to erupt at Odin. But Norns… everything inside him wants to flay him alive.  _ That’s my mate you’re talking about- that’s my mate and she’s the only one who loves me like that. She has no fear for me, no hatred or malicious intent in her caresses: I will never take on some floozy no matter what you throw at me.  _

_ She has my unwavering loyalty. She has me. She has everything I could possibly offer her.  _

“Allfather, I would advise against being crass about my future wife. To be honest,” he turns and faces Odin, “I am only here out of my love for my mother and the weight of my current work. The soonest I can leave to go and wed my sweet  _ Fae  _ I will. It is of my own intent that I think this: this is the last time I will say this to you. She has me under no spell or enchantment. And she is no creature: she is more than me. More than you. And I believe that is why you insist on shaming her this way. I sent her away for her own benefit, and that alone. It pains me to see it, yes, but she is at her home. And will return  _ home  _ soon after. Are we quite finished?” Loki confidently ends his spiel, and exits his rooms. He moves around Odin expertly: though he really has nowhere to go, it’s an intimidating move nonetheless.

He still has not visited the Moors: perhaps that will be his destination, fulfilling a promise to you in wake of Odin’s pestering. 

Speaking of- it appears that his words only stroked the Allfather’s indignation. 

“BOY! HALT, I COMMAND IT!” 

Loki’s face twitches as he stops. He hates that he must listen to him. The guards are suddenly enraptured by the scene: oh, how they simply adore watching Loki get ridiculed over and over again. 

“You will  _ never,  _ under my good name, marry that  _ monster _ ,” he snarls. Loki  _ snaps.  _

He drops the illusion that makes him appear Asgardian in an instant, showing his true heritage for all of them. There are audible gasps, of disgust and of fright. 

“A monster, you call her? I think you’re mistaken, you doddering old man- are your eyes too weak to see yourself nowadays? You  _ ravaged _ an entire species that did NOTHING- NOTHING but help you. Your power, it wasn’t always yours, hmm?? It belonged to them and you  _ stole  _ it and when they asked for it back, when they asked for  _ anything-  _ you killed them. You murdered them in cold blood. Am I talking about the Fae or the Jotuns? My love or myself? Oh, you wouldn’t be able to tell, would you? Because you did the same to both of them. And you raised Thor that way too! I wonder, does he know? Does he know of the seemingly  _ endless _ flow of blood from your hands? Does anyone,” he laughs breathlessly, knowing full well how mad he must seem, “know what you’ve done? Or in the circle of life, they’ve forgotten your misdeeds. You thought you could get away with it, hmm? I know, Allfather. I know full well what you’ve done. And don’t even  _ try  _ to lie to me- I will tell. I will still  _ know _ ,” Loki’s rage has made the room freezing, and even Odin can’t get away without a few shivers. 

“I know, and she knows, and if you’d just let me be with her we’d leave you alone in your palace built on the bones of her ancestors but  _ you insist  _ on keeping us separate. Even if we are in the same strain of your so-called monsters. Why? Why Odin Allfather, do you insist? Are you trying to hurt her? Me? Or for your own morbid curiosity?” 

“I- erm, you are my son-” 

“I have never been such a thing to you. I realize that now. I have seen what being a father is: I’ve seen love, Allfather. You harbor no such thing towards me. None. I will no longer strive to please you in ways I have prior: you are not the person I must be kneeling at the feet of any longer,” Loki seethes, remaining in his truest form as he triumphantly walks down the hall. 

_ I hope you see now, Allfather. Your words mean nothing to me anymore: I will marry that girl. You have no strings on me.  _

“LOKI! YOU WILL NEVER-” 

With a flourish, Loki vanishes away from the palace and into the quiet forest of the outskirts of the Moors. 

Loki takes a deep breath of the forest air: it’s so much better here. Clearer, without the scent of perfumes of noblewomen and the faint hue of magic. He shifts his form into his Fae one and stretches the raven wings that he now sports. 

When had it happened that he felt more at home in this form, in the wilderness than the place he grew up? 

_ How very strange life is,  _ Loki thinks to himself before lifting into the air. It’s quite easy to see why you enjoy this so much: it’s uplifting. Being so far into the clouds, he’s able to forget about everything. It’s serene. 

_ How did I live before? In shadows and slights? How did I not go mad?  _

Loki has no clue why he withstood it so long: perhaps it’s due to the fact that he never knew there was better. And yet… there is. You are better. So very much. 

His heart stings, and he forces himself to stop thinking about it. Loki can’t be distracted whilst in the air: he’s still not as proficient as he’d like. He’s nowhere near your elegant loops and easygoing dives. 

_ Stop!! Stop thinking about her- _

Your laughter as you swing around, holding him so tightly in your arms, the small shaking ball of fur that he is-

_ Stop stop stop  _

How safe it felt, even more than a mile in the air, he never even thought he could be dropped. You had him, it was alright, he was in your arms everything was  _ perfect- _

_ Stop stop stop stop you’re going to fall-  _

But Loki doesn’t stop, and eventually the pain flares so brightly that his wings freeze. All of a sudden, he’s falling through the sky recklessly: coal-coloured feathers flutter in the winds he makes as he plummets. It’s sort of beautiful, framed by the blue sky and the sun… Icarus falling into the sea must have seemed quite elegant, although terrifying at the same time. An interesting thought. 

Is it falling or flying? 

He has to focus and teleport to the ground to save himself before he becomes but a splotch on the ground. Blowing the hair from his eyes, Loki finishes the trek on foot to the nearby Moors. 

It’s peculiar being here without you: his body is already feeling wound up from his previous thoughts (that he’s ignoring for now), and every inch of him is now feeling your absence intimately. This will be his first time here without you. 

_ Hel- this hurts.  _

Each moment that passes, Loki must assure himself that the bonds were a good idea. That they were a blessing. Because though he’d never call them a nuisance… they do make him have bouts of violent rage followed by such heavy depression he doesn’t know what to do. His body screams at him constantly to go go go- his intellect disagrees. 

If he leaves now, not only will he have to evade Heimdall, but it would be in direct violation of Allfather’s indirect commands when he accepted this job. It would provide good reason to wage war on Midgard, or at the very least imprison and slaughter you. 

His lips twitch and Loki has to swallow a wicked snarl at the thought. 

No, staying here is for your betterment at the moment. As much as he despises it. Loki must maneuver out of the job he’s taken here, and then escape. Permanently. 

If nothing else works… he’ll simply fake his death again. Though it’s not that simple at all actually, Loki’s backup plan is to fake death somehow and bribe Heimdall into secrecy. Then, flee to Midgard under one of the more hidden ways about the World Tree and live with you in Norway. Perhaps he’d have to be under some guise as well, seeing how often Thor visits, but it would be fine. Everything would be fine. 

In a better situation, Loki goes home with Asgard’s blessing and his efforts recognized and can return home at his leisure. Marry and start a family with the whole world not at his feet but only a word away. 

That’s the clear goal in his mind, as he walks into the Moors to check in on them as you had asked. 

Loki will stop at nothing to achieve it. He thinks to himself that he’s prepared to lose everything he’s built here for it-  _ but he lies.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns! We'll return next week with the X-Men!


	51. 4-5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which we go and meet the X-Men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry about this chapter. It wasn't really what I wanted to get to, and I don't feel happy about it. Maybe sometime I'll redo it. But who knows. Time has been really hard for me recently.

**You**

When you wake up, you’re already decided. Today is the day. Today’s the day you make good on your promise to introduce yourself and Pietro the X-Men. Before you’re even dressed, you call Nick Fury to tell him. 

“Fury speaking.” 

“Nick! Today’s the day!” 

“Oh, Fae. I heard that you returned! The rest of your team is almost done with their mission, so-”

“Nick, listen to me! Today. Is. The. Day!” 

“I’m not sure I’m catching your drift here, sweetheart.” 

“I’m going to do that thing with the X-Men! Send over the papers! Pietro Maximoff and I are going to make that agreement!” 

“This is a very late warning-” 

“You expected that.” 

“I expected that. Sending them over now.” 

You say goodbye to Nick and then grin at the documents he emailed you. All seems to be in order. With a wave of your hand, you’re ready for the day. Now you just need Pietro. That’s usually easy enough: it’s breakfast time. 

There’s a sudden thought- you haven’t gone flying around the building since you got back. It might be time to exercise your wings again: the laidback lifestyle of an Asgardian Princess was… well, exactly that. Laidback and lazy. You click the switch to open the windows and fly right on out. 

You hadn’t really explored the complex before you left: it had all happened so fast. Now you can really take stock of the lush forests and chill air. The sky is so much clearer and fresher than the city. If you listen closely to the forest, you can make out the noises of leaves shuttering in the winds you make and little forest creatures running about. It’s serene. It’s beautiful, in a way so real and unlike the manicured scented lawns of Asgard. Asgard is beautiful but in the way that painted nails and beauty commercials are: manufactured. 

You can see that now: beauty supported on the bones of your ancestors. 

The mood completely soured by the thought of it, you return to the compound and head to the kitchen to grab something to eat. 

And as expected, Pietro is in the kitchen munching on the most horrible concoction of leftover pancakes, badly scrambled eggs (some are still liquidy!), orange juice AND milk. It makes you want to hurl. 

“Pietro- what the  _ hell  _ are you eating?” 

“Oh- um, breakfast?” he says questioningly as if this was entirely normal. 

“No, no no- you’re going to get sick. We’re going to visit Professor Xavier today, we can get you a classic bagel egg and cheese on the way- it’s going to change your life,” you smile. Pietro returns the expression and gets out of his chair, brushing stray bits of food off of him. You take into consideration that he is in fact wearing his hero suit. 

“Any particular reason that you decided to have breakfast in… that?” 

“It’s comfortable!” he exclaims. 

“Have you  _ washed  _ it?” 

“Last week, yeah!” Pietro says, nodding. 

“ _ Last week? You’re wearing that nearly every day!”  _ you gawk. You don’t know what’s more worrying: that he hasn’t washed it for that long or that he thinks it’s completely normal. “Buddy- you have to wash that every day. Every other day at the least.” 

“That’s crazy! You Americans, wasting so much water-” 

“Pietro, you’re a superhero now. You’re going to have to choose to use a little more water or save countries, sorry to put it that way,” you sigh.  _ Is this what Tony feels like?  _

_ I feel really bad.  _

“Fine fine, I presume that makes sense-” he agrees. 

“I can’t let you meet Professor X like this. Let’s wash the suit first, okay? Tony makes all his suit machine washable, thankfully,” you tut, pulling him to the laundry room that was thankfully only a few rooms away. As you gesture for the costume, Pietro strips and puts it into your hand. Ignoring the feeling of his attentive gaze, you put the costume into the wash. 

“Stark has his own brand of washing machine?” a nearly naked Pietro asks curiously. You squeak and avert your eyes. It is all too easy to imagine Loki resting on the doorframe, glaring at him. Mouthing ‘ _ mine _ ’. 

You shiver at the thought of it. Then, damper slightly as you realizes quite fast that he’s left you here and couldn’t even really do anything if you decided to cheat. He probably wouldn’t even know: not that you’d ever do that, you love him more than anything, but the idea that he’s not there being possessive is saddening enough on its own. 

You sigh. 

“Yeah, Tony has his own brand of just about everything at this point. It’s a good washer, very high tech, so a lot of people can’t afford it. Sometimes he donates them to shelters and orphanages though, because they can handle so much and are easy and efficient,” you explain. Pietro nods thoughtfully. 

“Hey, is your sister here today? I don’t remember her and Vision coming back last night,” you ask. Pietro smiles, cheekily but a bit sad too. He bends to watch the machine spin the outfit around inside. 

“Yes, they came back this morning. They… erm, spent the night together. Somewhere. Wanda… didn’t tell me, until she got back. And she’s going to be training with him again today. So I’m glad you’re going to take me out, little bird,” he says. It’s very melancholy. Brushing your wings over his bare shoulders, and bend down to hug him. 

Resting your cheek on his face, you pull your wings around him completely. 

“Do you ever feel like you were meant to die? Like you shouldn’t be here at all?” Pietro whispers. The washing machine whirls. 

You squeeze your eyes shut to close out the tears. 

“I don’t regret saving your life, Pietro. Even if you do,” 

“Oh- I don’t regret living, I love living here and being a hero but… you know- she doesn’t even need me, lovely Fae. Why am I here?” he says tonelessly. You shake him, as if that would put his mindset back in the correct place. 

“You’re here because you’re a good person! Because you deserve to live! Because you should have a chance to have your own life, Pietro,” you cry. 

“I thought perhaps you might understand… in that story you once told me, once told all of us- you were lonely, hmm? And you felt like… like you were the piece that did not fit in any of the puzzles. It is sort of like that. I can’t fit, little bird… I can’t fit here, and I fit there even though I hated everything. My sister fits here, but I am out of place. I hope… I hope this place, these X-Men, have a place for me,” 

_ Oh.  _

“I think I understand, Pietro. Let’s get going then,” you squeeze him one last time before release. The washing machine chimes merrily before a voice that is very clearly Tony’s says in deadpan “Your clothes are done. You’re welcome.” 

Both you and Pietro stare at it for a moment. 

Then each other. 

And then the both of you burst out laughing. 

~~~~

In an hour, the two of you are Westchester County (you took a portal, the practice is really starting to pay off) and only a mile or two away from the Mansion. You both thought it was to make the last bit on foot because neither of you wants a misunderstanding to cause many many mutants coming after you. 

You had insisted that walking was fine, but Pietro didn’t want any of it. 

“Running in using my ability- that would be some entrance, no? They would see my power!” he presses. You hum nonchalantly, taking in the beautiful countryside rather than answering. 

Frustrated, Pietro simply hefts you over his shoulder. You squeak in surprise: Pietro laughs as he runs and you clutch onto him for dear life. 

_ This is not how I wanted to meet them,  _ you think drily as Pietro holds you steady the last few seconds. And then you’re in front of the Mansion, and there are several X-Men of various ages gawking at you. You sigh. 

“Pietro, this is not exactly how I wanted to make a first impression,” you bump your horns lightly on his head. 

“What do you mean I looked- oh. Yes, I see. You do look like a silly princess!” he laughs. You pout, but wipe it off your face in exchange for a welcoming smile as Professor X rolls out with it seems Wolverine and Beast behind him. He likewise has a smile: but it seems as plastered on as yours. Wolverine has no such formalities. 

“Fuckin bird girl- I don’t believe that Fae bullshit for a second. Fae are fuckin mushroom circles or some shit and try to take your names-” 

“Haha, no- that’s faeries. They are mythical, to my knowledge. I’m Dark Fae, which is a completely different thing. I’m not a mutant: no x-gene here. All my DNA is perfectly normal for Fae,” you say smilingly. 

“Please excuse Logan- he’s testy, you see,” Beast says awkwardly, before extending a hand, “I’m Hank McCoy.” 

You shake his hand firmly. 

“You are… aware you are blue, yes?” Pietro asks. You slap him. 

“Weren’t you going to mention the hairy bit too?” 

“Well, many people have undue amounts of hair! I was being respectful,” Pietro quips. Professor X chuckles. 

“Quite spunky, aren’t you?” 

“He’s something, alright,” you groan, “Sorry if that was insensitive.  _ Pietro, _ ” 

“No no, it’s quite alright. It was going to happen sooner or later,” Hank laughs. Internally, you sigh in relief. Pietro might not- clearly doesn’t understand how fragile this could be. Mutants are in an iffy place in society right now. Saying something that could be majorly offensive is the equivalent of throwing the agreement in the way of the Cyclop’s vision. 

“So… how are we going to go about this? I have the paperwork from SHIELD that we can go over: we’d like to have Pietro here, alias Quicksilver, who is in fact a mutant, be our liaison. The bridge between our two organizations would make us both stronger. You would receive the aid of a powerful organization like SHIELD in case of any problems, and we would have you on our side,” this is what you rehearsed earlier as you read Fury’s email. Clean, concise, and clear. 

“Wasn’t SHIELD chock full of HYDRA agents? Fuck this,” Logan curses. You bite your lip.

“Though that was the case at one point, this would be an alliance with Nick Fury and the Avengers first and foremost. HYDRA has been nearly completely purged: only a few remain that I believe are being taken care of by some of our best Avengers currently,” you smile.  _ God, I wish Loki was here to make things smoother.  _

Professor X returns your smile cordially. 

“Fae, how about we continue this conversation in my office? Hank, can you show Pietro around? Whether or not we accept, this is still a safe haven for mutants. And you have a strong mutation: we’d value your assistance teaching the more… trigger happy and faster students,” Pietro glances towards you as if asking for permission. 

“Up to you,” you allow. Pietro happily follows Hank down a path to what you assume are some outdoor training grounds. You follow Xavier to his office: the mansion really is beautiful. It’s charm is nothing like that of the Compound: it’s older and wood. Details galore, rather the sleek technology everywhere. 

“Taking it in?” Professor X chuckles, not even looking over his shoulder as he rolls ahead of you. 

“Yeah… it’s gorgeous. Heck, I could live here,” you gush. 

“You almost did, I recall. That day in the park, that was you who placed the enchantments, correct?” you stop in your tracks, suddenly wishing you didn’t do this. 

It had been a few years ago now: right after you escaped the system. Still grappling with being Fae, being something no one knew existed. They had heard about you, and come to where you were staying. 

At the time, it was somewhere in New Jersey, some abandoned house. You hated it there, but needed it: the family you had been with had seen your wings and tried to rip them off your back. As if they were attached with velcro or something, rather than naturally. The agony had been so bad that you erased yourself from the narrative and ran off: but it wasn’t before they were already placing a found mutant post online. 

It had been halfway done when it was posted, but it had your location and description. The X-Men came to your ‘aid’ the day after you left. They found you relatively easily, and though they tried to calm you- approaching a frightened girl with torn wings and animal instincts all at once was foolish. You blocked their memories and took off through the forest, scratching your body even more. It was all you could do to find a cave and rest. 

That was the last time you went into foster care. You were thirteen. 

If you’re being honest with yourself now… you don’t remember a lot clearly from before age 10 or so. But you remember waking up one day with wings you hadn’t had before. And everything had become a nightmare after that.

It was only later that you figured they were trying to help you: and the humiliation followed you. You could’ve gone to the mansion. It was very possible, encouraged even, that you should do it… but… 

You were a coward. You felt safer- no, not safe, deserving of poverty. Deserving of homelessness. 

“I sense your distress, Fae. What is the matter? Has something upset you?” Professor X asks, waving to a student or two as they pass.

“Oh… it’s nothing, really,” you dissuade. 

“Hmm. I think you should tell me, at the least. Your moods are quite… powerful. Though I cannot peer into your mind without touch through your careful mind blockades in place, your melancholy leaks through,” he notes, turning right at a large staircase and entering his office. You run your hands on the metal plaque to the left of the doors before following him.  _ I could’ve been like this, couldn’t I?  _

_ What if I was an X-Men instead of an Avenger.  _

_ It would’ve been safer. I would be of just as much value here, with my healing abilities, I think. Though… not an actual mutant.  _

_ But, I wouldn’t have Loki.  _

Though you don’t necessarily have him now either, imagining life without waking naked in his arms over and over is insanity. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to tell me? I’m quite good at this sort of thing,” Xavier shakes you out of your thoughts. You shuffle your feet. 

“Is it really okay? I don’t want my own problems to derail us,” 

“The grounds are huge. It will be a good while before they return to us,” he assures you. So you sit down in the chair across the large wooden desk from Professor X. 

“I just… I’m sorry I didn’t come to you earlier. You guys were the only ones who reached out to me with kindness, with the actual intent of saving me. You know, legitimately and not drowning me in holy water or cutting my horns, or burning me-” Professor X grabs your hand from across the desk. 

“My dear- these are all things that happened to you?” he asks quietly, tears in his eyes. 

“Uh, yeah. And more.” 

“Then no wonder you attacked us. And so kindly, so respectfully. You didn’t lay a finger on us,” Professor X assures you. You wipe your eyes: he offers you a tissue. 

“Thanks, Professor. I appreciate it. I just… though I love where I am now, for the most part, it makes me wonder,” 

“None of that. That wondering is going to get you nowhere. Stop worrying about the things that didn’t happen, and focus on the present. Speaking of… lets sign those agreements,” he smiles at you. 

“But- we didn’t even discuss it further-” 

“I don’t need to. I know that you’ll carry us through, and hold us safely. If you trust Nick Fury, I will too. Pietro Maximoff will stay here and the Avengers Compound interchangeably. Whenever you need us, call us,” he signs the papers you had given and hands them back with great cheer. You grin. 

“Anything else I can do while I’m here?” 

“Actually,” his smile turns a bit conspiratory, “If you will… a lot of the students here see you as an idol of sorts. Could you perhaps go out and say something to them before you go?” 

“ _ Me? _ ” you gawk. Professor X’s expression seems sort of happy, sort of saddened. 

“You. I don’t think you really understand how iconic you are for the students. You have horns and wings: features that are reminiscent of many of the students here. Some have lizard scales or goat eyes. They thought they could never get anywhere in life. They thought this was their only option. And you showed them that they can truly be heroes. That they can be loved, in so many ways.” 

“My relationship with Loki is helping these kids?” you breathe. It’s helped you (though it isn’t helping now if you’re being completely honest about your emotional and mental health) become a better person. Believe in yourself more. Be happier, that’s for sure. 

“Yes. It really is. Could you say a thing?” 

“Yes, but you have to let me include a personal anecdote,” you blurt. 

“Done and done.” 

~~~~~

Perhaps this was a bad idea. Getting in front of all of these impressionable young kids and young adults. You’ve been waiting by some balcony doors for a while now: Professor Xavier has been telling the students gathered below about the changes and all. You’re doing that wing thing again, where you cocoon yourself away from the world. 

_ No, this was a bad idea.  _ Recently, you’ve been better about public speaking as a whole. But… that’s because Loki was there. To hold your hand and comfort you. 

_ Loki, if you can hear me, I really wish you were here. Really really do. I know you’re trying hard to get back to me and I can’t really be crass about you trying to protect me, but I’m going to talk in front of people and it’s really hard without you here. I’m supposed to tell them it’s going to be okay, but how do I do that when  _ **_I_ ** _ don’t feel okay? I miss you so much. I love you. I love that you’re always there for me. And I hate that you can’t be there now.  _

You wipe your eyes, which had been tearing up quite rudely and without your consent, and breathe deeply to steady the quickly increasing anxiety pants. As you try and do this, someone brushes your wings. You startle. 

When you meet the eyes of the accused panic-maker, you only panic more. 

It’s Loki. Or some illusion of him: you can see right through him if you try. 

“Mon minou?” you whimper. It’s only been a few days: only four, to your count. But it feels like forever. It’s the longest you’ve been apart and conscious for. 

“My love, my sweet girl. I heard your prayer, darling,” he whispers. Loki’s voice is like a welcome embrace, and it feels so nice that you might cry. No, you’re already crying. 

“Loki, Loki, I miss you so much- when are you coming back?” you ask pleadingly. Loki’s face is one of pain: deep heartache. His hands twitch, clearly wanting to embrace you but knowing that it’s impossible. 

“Very soon, so very soon. I want to be by your side again, so desperately, darling… Norns, just seeing you,” Loki gives a little sob, reaching out to touch you fruitlessly. He’s lying, he has no idea when he’s coming home, but the rest is genuine. He really… he really wants to be back with you. 

“Me too. You know, I didn’t mean to call you,” you laugh posthumously. 

“Do you not wish-” 

“No, no! Of course, I want to see you, and I want your letters, but making me cry before I have to go talk to people is… not great,” you concede. Loki’s mouth makes an ‘o’ before he composes himself and gives you a reassuring smile. 

“You’re going to do wonderful, darling. These nerves- they mean nothing. They fall to your inherent greatness that shines through in every performance. You need not be worried. I know full well you’ll do amazing things here. You’re already impressing me each and every day- I’ll send you more letters. Would you like that?” 

“I love your letters, but I love this more,” you say shyly. Loki swallows. 

“I’m… my apologies, but this- it can’t happen. Odin will see through Heimdall that I’m casting this projection: I’m sure I’ll hear Hel for it when I stop this. It- if you need me, you call for me, alright? I am still yours. I love you very much. I hear knocking at my door- I must leave. But I have the utmost faith in you. I’ll write. I love you.” 

And with that, he’s gone already. Almost like you imagined it. But you hear your name called, and Professor X comes inside and gestures that it’s your turn. You wipe your face. Put on a strong one. Smile. 

You put Loki’s words in your heart, where they belong. 

Looking out into the crowd of people, you see young impressionable mutants, just like you thought. But also… strong ones. Hank. Mystique. Cyclops. Jean Grey. Jubilee. So many of them. They look at you encouragingly. And Pietro: Pietro seems so happy, with his arm slung around Storm. They’re laughing together quietly. That’s what prompts you to begin. 

“Uh- hi everyone! This is… phew, really hard for me. I’m not a big public speaker. But I’m going to try, so be patient with me, alright? I heard from the Professor himself that I have the honor of being a role model to some of you guys. That’s incredible, and a complete shock to me. Maybe because I don’t think of myself as a model at all. 

People have told me that I’m a kindred spirit. That I’m kind and caring and that’s what makes me a good superhero. I don’t think that’s it. I’ve done things that I hate. I’ve let cruelty make me weak. I’ve let people step all over me. I’ve let villainy go by more times than I can count. And I think the lesson here is that… you can do bad things and still be a good person. Still, work each and every day to be a good person. It’s not something that happens overnight. It takes hard work and a good hard look at yourself.

You can’t use your powers or your physical attributes as an excuse to be an ugly internal person. Life is hard, for mutants. For a Dark Fae too, in similar ways. I’m sure that all of you have done bad things at one point. For the right reasons, even. You’ve taken the hits people have dealt you. I have. You have. And it hurts. It hurts. I know that. But we have to rise above it. It fucking  _ sucks  _ that we have to be better people when normal people can get away with being douchebags. It’s a double standard. 

But we can prove that we’re more. Even if you feel like you’re forgotten. Like you’re not supposed to be here. Like you’re supposed to be dead,” you look at Pietro, his eyes watering apparent as you focus on him, “You’re not though. You’re here. And you’re going to be great heroes, or X-Men, or just people. Be you. We have to walk the teetering tightrope between standing up for ourselves and being respectful. Choose the company you keep wisely. And be yourself. I’ve gotten this far by just being me. By learning to walk that path. And being careful. 

So, in conclusion… you’re already a role model. You don’t have to look at me and want what I’ve got: you can have it for yourself too, and still be who you are. It’s hard to live this way. Sometimes you want to give up. But I can promise, there are people out there who love you for who you are. It’s hard to believe sometimes. But it’s true. 

You’re just as human as everyone else,” you finish with a cordial, “I look forward to working with you all.” 

The crowd erupts in cheers and applause, and you blush and hide back inside the mansion. Resting against the walls of the mansion, you end up with a dazed smile.  _ I did it. In front of all those people.  _

_ I did it, mon minou. I did it.  _

~~~~~~

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns!
> 
> Also... how do you feel about chapters coming every other week rather than every week until I have some saved up?


	52. 4-6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which loneliness starts nipping at your heels.

**Loki**

When Loki forces himself back into his body, he can’t even move. It’s a paralyzing pain that wracks through his body: tears are flowing down his face from the scope of it. He doesn’t cry of his own accord anymore: they’re squeezed out of him, choked out. 

He doesn’t want to go to the door to open it, even as the person behind it knocks hard and constantly. 

He wants to curl up and tear out his heart. 

_ She misses me, she was crying-  _ Norns, he’s a mess. You cried when you saw him. 

Loki hates your tears, but he loves what they mean: he loves that they mean you care enough. That you’re wanting him as bad as he wants you. Well… perhaps not to this extent, you’re not torturing yourself with soulbonds- but you love him. 

Loki wants to say he never doubted it for a second, but he gets paranoid. Often. A cruel part of him that’s been rearing its head recently is begging to make you so dependent on him that you’ll always want to stay: but Loki hates that the thought even crosses his mind. You’re your own person. He can’t allow his pettiness to change you. 

Loki tries to steady his breathing, the harsh knocks growing in anger outside his door, to calm himself. It doesn’t work whatsoever: his heart is beating painfully fast, his body is spasming in short bursts, and the shooting pain prompts more whimpers from his throat. It hurts. 

It takes more energy than it should to summon his pocket dimension up and produce a single one of your shed feathers from it: Loki closes his eyes and his body finally laxes as he inhales the lingering scent of you from them. The knocking ceases for a moment of blissful silence: and then Loki’s door is burst open. Odin himself growls as he enters his room. 

Loki plasters on a fake smirk and a calm demeanor: he can’t let him know about the mating bonds. He can’t. He can’t. Images of the immense pain you’d be put through fling themselves through his head: it takes much willpower to turn back to Odin. 

“Ah, Allfather. What brings you here?” he asks smoothly.

“Loki, you were to meet me and the council this morning! You dare skip on such important matters?” 

“Allfather, those meetings are futile to my own workings-”

“As an advisor, you must attend those meetings. I thought you knew of the inner workings of my court,” he grumbles, eyes shining as he looks at Loki. 

“Yes, of course, but I am in a position that those meetings prove unnecessary-” 

Odin cuts him off again. 

“Loki, I don’t think you understand. My boy, you are truly a nobleman now. It is your duty to uphold the laws: and the people now look to you. You are an inspiration. We can’t have you missing meetings, it would send the wrong message,” Odin explains. 

“Ah… I see,” Loki sighs.  _ I presume I will find another way to get to her for her birthday. I won’t bow under this man, I won’t throw her away. I’d never throw her away.  _

“It’s good that you understand this. I’m going to keep you quite busy, Loki,” Odin smiles. It’s fake. It’s so fake. They’re both smiling fakely. 

“Hah… but I do intend on returning to Midgard. You do understand this, don't you? That in the years you abandoned me there I grew roots? That Midgard is my home now?” 

“You’re not going on again about that Fae, are you?” Odin narrows his eyes. Loki backtracks quickly, squeezing his feather tightly.  _ Don’t kill him don’t kill him don’t kill him _ , he begs of himself, feeling things stir in his stomach. 

“Of course not, you’ve already established your ignorant stand on my lover, I am now insisting that I must go back home to the… family of friends that are there. They must miss me terribly,” 

“And your mother and I will not miss you? You are our son. You must stay, at home,” he presses the word home. Loki hates it, it makes his skin crawl: how dare he double back on his own words, saying that this is his home after isolating him? 

“I have no intention of abandoning what I’ve regained here, Allfather. But I have no intention of staying long either,” 

Odin narrows his eyes once more and then turns to leave. 

“Calm yourself, boy. Then you may follow me to today’s meeting with the people of your  _ home _ ,” he says. 

Loki watches bitterly as he leaves. The second he’s out the door, his wards are up and he’s bringing the feather back out from where he had hidden it. His eyes water with disappointment as he notices how his weight had disfigured it. It’s slightly broken now, and all out of place. Painstakingly Loki combs it back together. It’s still imperfect. 

“Norns… I’m sorry darling. I’m sorry,” he whispers to it, as if you could hear it, “I’m so sorry. I should’ve never brought you here at all. And then… and then I could’ve been with you to help. I could’ve been with you. Don’t worry: I’m planning something. I’m going to make you so very happy.” 

He sits up, ignoring the lingering heart-pains, and goes to his desk after tucking the feather into his jacket.  _ It’s time for another letter.  _

**You**

It’s been five weeks since you came back from Asgard. You’re happy, for the most part: your family is around often. Steve, Sam, and Natasha came back from their mission a little worse for wear but you coddled them with enough baked goods and hugs that they perked up again quickly. The Avengers have been busy. You haven’t really been included on a whole lot of missions: they said they didn’t need you, which hurt more than you wanted to admit. 

Brio doesn’t even bother with the pretense of staying at the Compound anymore: he’s practically moved into Josh’s apartment. You know full well what that means: but you remind yourself that they are both consenting adults and they’re very safe and that's when you stop wanting to think about it because… well, it’s not your sex life. 

Which is painfully lacking nowadays. Going from sex once to twice a day to none whatsoever is depressing. But, it wasn’t the mind-blowingly good sex that made your relationship with Loki so wonderful (despite how you realize it’s slightly tainted now, by Loki’s unknowing manipulations and ignorance towards your more widespread needs). It was caring. It was knowing each other, and the warmth that you shared. It was how  _ fun  _ it was. He still sends letters, often: one to two a day, catching you up on Asgardian gossip and asking questions. Proclaiming his love eloquently. You reply, but compared to his beautiful paragraphs you have childish sentences. Loki’s made it clear that he doesn’t care though, that he loves them anyway: but still, you wish you could give him more. 

You’re  _ bored.  _ It’s so odd for an  _ Avenger _ , and a  _ Fae  _ to be so very bored. Aspen’s bored too: they’re in the same spot you are. Literally.

They’ve taken a scrap of fabric (that may or may not be some clean underwear from the wash, you don’t want to know), and looped it between your two horns in a makeshift hammock. They lie in it lazily, watching the same reruns of some random show (it might be NCIS or something else, all you know is that there’s always a dead body at the beginning). Scott had made waffles, so you have a waffle with chocolate spread that you’re slowly working through. 

“There has to be more to do than this, Aspen,” you sigh, “Friday?” 

“Yes?” 

“Hey- is there anything for me to do today?” 

“Mr. Stark had instructed me to tell you if you were bored you could bring the finished paperwork to the door of Peter Parker alias Spiderman’s parental guardian. And following that, you need to arrive at the Avengers Tower at exactly 6 pm and no earlier than that,” 

“Wait- they’re barring my entry now?” you exclaim, sitting up too quick and flinging poor Aspen’s ‘hammock’ with them in it across the room. You’re able to catch them before they hit the floor with a very stable illusion and bring them back to your hand. Aspen squeaks in fear and jumps into your hand as soon as they are able. You bring her up to your cheek and nuzzle them in consolation before setting them on the couch and pointing a finger at the ceiling accusingly. 

“Friday!” 

“Yes?”

“Has Tony or any of the other Avengers barred my access from anywhere?” 

“Tony has restricted you from entering the Avengers Tower until exactly 6 pm, Fae. No other places under my supervision are restricted,” 

“Hmm… curious,” your anger has decreased, it’s probably just something unimportant. Likely has nothing to do with you. But then again… you stamp down that uneasiness in favour of asking for the documents to bring to Peter’s guardian. It appears that he’s been taken in by his Aunt May and Uncle Ben after the early death of his parents… and Ben is now deceased as well.  _ Oh… oh Peter.  _

According to his file, he was at the scene of the crime when a mugger killed his uncle. That’s rough, even for you. But, in a way, you’re glad that it happened. Well, you’re glad that his morals came into question like that. It’s easy to see that’s where the sweet kid you knew truly came to be. 

There are some instructions in the file: the person who delivers them has to pose as a ‘head intern’ to convince May of the validity of this internship. A fun little thing to do: exactly what you need. And you can practice your physical illusions while you’re at it! 

“Alright, Friday, I’m going to go do this!” you say, pumped up and ready to go, before looking at Aspen: “Hey, what do you want to do? I don’t know if you can come with me.” 

They motion a house. 

“Do you want your own house? That’s not, well, this big?” you laugh. Aspen nods, pouting at your slightly mocking tone. “It’s no problem, in my room or outside?” 

Aspen looks outside, at all the large trees and presumably predators (they really don’t like raccoons, you’ve found) and promptly points inside. You chuckle and flutter your wings as you go to your room. Padding softly into your room, you go to Sarah and place Aspen in the dirt. They give you a confused look. 

“Just a moment,” you smile, and hold your hands out for your magic to come: and then, a conversation, and then Sarah’s bark bends and molds and morphs into a little house. Now, Sarah’s still Sarah, but Aspen has a little home in the tree. As they chirp excitedly and look around inside of their new home, you’re struck by the similarities. 

But, there’s no time to dwell. You summon up a portal and go directly to the location that was inscribed on the form. It’s an apartment complex: a nice two-bedroom apartment like the Parker’s wouldn’t be  _ too  _ expensive for New York, but then again, compared to anywhere else it’s insanity. You hum to yourself: you could go all out with the disguise and change everything, or just look human with a small difference. For the betterment of Peter, you decide to go with the latter. 

You rap on the door. A shout of “coming!” is heard, and then a woman with round glasses opens the door.

“Uh… who are you?” she asks, immediately suspicious. You smile brightly. 

“Hello! I’m from Stark Enterprises, I’m here to talk to you, I’m assuming is his legal guardian, and Peter Parker about his acceptance into the acclaimed Tony Stark Internship?” She looks so amazed and so breathless for a moment: and then it’s back to scrutiny. 

“Is this some kind of scam?” 

“Hah, no. I have the paperwork right here, and I myself am the head of the program. I’m sure if you talked to Mr. Parker he’d clear this right up,” you keep on smiling. May frowns and calls over her shoulder for Peter. 

“Yeah, wha-” Peter pokes his head in and makes eye contact with you, and his jaw drops. You wink as you wave. 

“Hi, Mr. Parker! I’m here with the paperwork for the internship,” you incline your head slightly to the left: he looks that way and sees the words ‘play along’ faintly on the wall. Peter nods slowly. 

“Peter, is this real? I didn’t think they were doing door-to-door scams anymore but-” 

“No, Aunt May!! I applied to this internship a while ago, I totally forgot about this happening! I got an email saying I got in but I forgot to ask you about it!” he exclaims, a little on the dramatic side, but May eats it right up. She looks at you wide-eyed. 

“I am  _ so  _ sorry, please come in- Pete, why didn’t you tell me? This is a big deal!!” 

“I was uh… so busy with school work!!” he laughs awkwardly. May raises her eyebrows at him. 

“Peter, we’ll talk about this later. But,” she guides you inside the apartment and to the kitchen table, “Can I get you anything? Coffee? Water? I can try and find the kettle for tea-” 

“Oh, just water, if you would? The trip over here was a tad tiring,” you accept, sitting down at the dining room table and placing the papers down in front of you. Peter quickly drags the chair beside you out with almost too much strength and sits down next to you. He’s wearing a t-shirt with a space pun and running shorts, but you can clearly see the same kid you met that was in that handmade costume. 

_ “What are you doing here???”  _ he whisper-yells. You laugh a little: his expression is so open and surprised. 

“I’m bringing your legal guardian the papers in person! Did you really think that  _ the  _ Tony Stark would just fax it to you?” you wink. Peter flushes from his head down to his toes. 

“Oh gosh- you’re totally right,” he groans into his hands. You pat his back. 

“Tony never does anything the easy way, sorry pal: at least you got me and not Vision though,” you snicker, imagining the android trying to avoid suspicion, “And without the horns and wings? She’ll never realize. And also, I got a little present, from me/Tony,” 

“Wait, really? What is it?” he asks curiously, perking up immediately.  _ Like a little puppy.  _ Aunt May starts making her way back over: you shush him. 

“Alright, I got some water for you, it’s just tap but I put a touch of lemon in there? Makes it fancier? Whatever, I have no idea what I’m talking about! Let’s see what you have here,” she hands you the water, and you slide the documents. 

“This has the dates and times we’d have him regularly: of course with Mr. Stark’s, let’s say, unique schedule the hours must be very flexible. We’d never want him to miss school, of course, a bright mind like him: this internship will only build on what he already knows. He’ll be able to use the start of the art equipment to conduct experiments alongside our best scientists. Not to mention how great this would look on college applications!” you give a hearty chuckle here, that May joins in on. She flips through the papers quickly. 

“Wow, this looks amazing! And there’s a student retreat this weekend?” you blink.  _ I didn’t hear anything about that. What is Tony up to? _

“If it’s in the proposal, then yes. We’d take the utmost care of your nephew: when you have the Avengers on speed dial, you know nothing can go wrong!” May sits back in her chair and eyes you steely. 

“But that’s just the thing: if he’s with Stark, wouldn’t they  _ want  _ to target him?” Peter makes a couple of incomprehensible noises. You calmly place both hands on the table. 

“Mrs. Parker. I can assure you that your child will be safe. He will be under my personal protection, as the newest person admitted. We have  _ never  _ had an incident before. And though Iron Man may be a superhero, the people he’s employed- the people Peter will be working with- are just that. People. Adults who would rather throw themselves in harm's way than let anyone bruise him at all. Myself, for example,” you look at her intensely, your confidence as a hero showing through, “I would never let Peter get hurt under my watch. I can promise that.” 

Aunt May leans back in her chair. Then she looks at Peter. 

“Peter, is this something you want to do? You’d feel safe there? Stay away from the action?” she asks. Your eyes widen as you look back at Peter, who gulps.  _ She doesn’t know he’s Spiderman,  _ you remind yourself,  _ and doesn’t know the dangers he’s in every day. If he wants to be an Avenger, it would mean a relationship built on lies. It would mean the shell of the life he once had, for a gamble at playing a hero.  _

_ It would mean giving up Peter Parker for the sake of Spiderman.  _

“This is… this is what I’m  _ meant  _ to do, Aunt May. With great power comes great responsibility, right? And I’ve been gifted with this… erm, good intellect, I might as well use it for something great, right?” Peter, who had started his words with such inspirational heroism, ends it with his usually teenage awkwardness. But, for a moment, you saw a hero. A brilliant hero. It makes you excited to have this kid on the team. 

“Alright, if you say so,” May smiles and signs the dotted line. She hands them to you, and Peter is nearly bursting from his seat. And then, in an explosion of energy, he leaps from the chair and hugs May tightly. 

“Thank you thank you thank you! I’m so excited!!” he jumps for joy. You hum and smile, and start making your way out of the apartment with the completed papers. It’s nearly 6, anyway. Peter gets up to say goodbye before you make it out. 

“Fae,” he whispers, tapping your shoulder, “I really hope I can be of help to you guys,” 

“Pfft- you already have,” you grin. His face turns open and wide-eyed. 

“How? I haven’t even saved anyone-” 

“Peter,” you chuckle sadly, “I am not doing very well. Mentally. Hanging out with you, just talking… it’s making me so happy. It’s not a solution, I know that, but a distraction is better than being left with my thoughts,” you admit, scratching the back of your head. Peter makes an ‘o’ with his mouth. Then he squeezes your shoulder comfortingly. 

“I’m glad I could help such a great hero! Anytime you need to talk, you can call on me!” he cheers. You laugh slowly. 

“I appreciate it, Peter,” you smile, and pass a bag that you had shielded from view with an illusion to him. It's a large case. He takes it and peeks inside: then gasps. 

"My own hero suit? Oh my god, it looks so cool! Wow!" 

"It's specially made for you, by Tony. Intricate and specialized. Be cognizant when you're going to try it on: don't want your Aunt catching you in it. But if you have any questions, just call me. Oh, and if you need to hide it, just tap this button," you point at a small silver disc on the case, "and it'll look empty. Got it?" 

"Sounds super, Fae," he says, then inwardly groans, "That was bad." 

"Yes. You'll make a great hero," you laugh and then leave while closing the door behind you. He calls out once more to just call him if you need help. You sigh. It’s nice to have, to think about Peter being just a phone call away, but he has his own things to deal with. You wouldn’t pressure him into anything. 

He has a life to live. 

You have nothing ahead of you, as far as you can see: the life you had worked for and wanted to live has crumbled. 

~~~~~~

You make it to the Tower at exactly 6, landing on the landing pad rather than the front door after flying away from an alleyway by Peter’s apartment. It’s nice to come back here: makes things feel like they did at the beginning of all this. 

The doors are locked to get inside: you pull on them for a moment before groaning and giving up. Moving to the left, you tap on the keypad. 

“Hello, Fae,” Friday chirps from the keypad. 

“Hey, Friday- it’s 6, well past that now- why can’t I go in?” you ask.  _ God, I’m so tired.  _

“I’m sorry you haven’t been allowed to go inside yet. I’ll alert you when it’s time,” Friday continues. You sigh loudly and slide down the door to the ground. Squeezing your knees to your chest and wrapping your wings around yourself, you can’t help but feel like crying. 

“How did I get here,” you sniffle a little, “It’s just like I don’t have a home again. I’m alone. I’m bored out of my mind. There’s nothing for me to do, and when there is, I just go back to the same thing again. Why… why am I even here,” you sob. Tears start running down your face, and you don’t even worry about wiping them away. Rather, you fall to your side on the paved deck and curl up tighter. 

“Would they even notice if I left? It’s not like they’re around, or anything,” you think aloud. You wipe your eyes: it’s only been a few weeks! They were busy. Surely they would care… 

The thought likes to sneak its way into your head sometimes. Loneliness hurts you perhaps more than anything else. And the Avengers have done… just about that for a while now. 

“Friday?” 

“Yes, Fae,” 

“I’m going to go now. I’ll come back eventually, but I think I’m just going to find someone to be with for a while,” you whisper, getting up and wiping at your face. You stretch your wings out to prepare for the flight. 

“Hey, kid, just give me a goddamn minute would you? I’m almost done, don’t get your feathers all fluffed in the wrong way,” Tony’s voice comes through the keypad, condescending but in a playful way. Your jaw works as you head back to the keypad. 

“What’s going on, Tony? I’m just… I’m really tired, I want to go to sleep,”  _ for a thousand years,  _ you silently add in your head. 

“Wow, kid, you hungover or something? It’s only 6:35- oh  _ shit  _ 6:35! Rogers, are you done yet? You’re thirty-five minutes late, America Boy!” he hollers. You can hear him even through the door, and it makes you laugh a little. “Hey, Friday, open up the doors for our special girl, would you? I’m sorry for making you wait, kiddo.” 

“It’s al...right?” the doors slide open, and everyone on the inside shouts “surprise” as you gape at them. 

It’s… a surprise birthday party. Everyone is there. Clint used arrows to hang up the banner that was clearly printed with one of Tony’s fancy cloth 3-D printer things- it reads like a classic Happy Birthday banner with your name on it. Music plays softly from the speakers, a volume that is easy for your ears to handle. 

Scott is still rushing to take all the food out: there’s a large cake that Steve’s still decorating quickly. Natasha’s at the bar, mixing up the last of a few drinks. Pepper’s quickly trying to hide the tablet she was using to check off things, Rhodey’s still fluffing the pillows on the couches (though they look perfectly fine), Sam’s fiddling with the chocolate fountain, Pietro’s returned and is running about fixing various things. Vision has the balloons all set perfectly on the ceiling, and Wanda’s using her magic to adjust the streamers. And utop of all that… Brio. Josh. Carroll. Katy. Everyone’s here. Your eyes tear up again, still sore from crying mere minutes before: but for completely different reasons now. 

“Hey! Hey, little bird, why are you crying? Aren’t you happy with your surprise? Happy birthday, no?” Pietro chuckles, though his eyes are full of worry after he dashes over to your side and hoists you into his arms. You laugh breathlessly and pull into his chest for a hug. “Aww, sweet bird. Were you lonely?” 

“Yeah… but this is good. This is much better,” you breathe in Pietro’s forestry scent, and then maneuver out of his arms and are immediately taken up by everyone else. 

“Happy birthday!” Wanda cheers, followed by Brio and Josh, “Why didn’t you tell us?” 

“I got back after it had already happened, I didn’t think it mattered!” you say, still pleasantly shocked by this development. 

“Of course it matters! You should’ve at least said something on Asgard,” Brio pouts dramatically, Josh leaning on him all the while. 

“I didn’t know! Really, this is such a wonderful surprise! We’ve got nearly everyone here,” you laugh, looking around happily. Tony surprises you from behind with a hug. 

“How about it? Thought we could ever forget about you?” he laughs. 

“A little, yeah. I’m glad you didn’t! This is amazing,” 

“We could  _ never  _ forget about you. The only reason we haven’t been around recently is that we've making plans and cleaning up this world of crime so that we could have the whole four days for you and you only.” 

“For just me? Is that not overkill?” you hum, “There’s more than just this party? I don’t need it all.” 

“Yeah, but we want to give it to you, kid. Consider this all a belated birthday present,” he smirks. 

“This is too much!!” you shriek as Tony pokes you. 

“Nope! After this little get together-”

“This is  _ more  _ than a get-together-” 

“-hah whatever, either way: after this, we’re going to Disney World tomorrow,” 

“ _ Really _ ?? I’m not too old?” you chuckle. You really wanted to go when you were younger: it seemed like a different world, like an escape, and there was nothing more you wanted than that. 

“Nah, it’s the immersive aspect. And after that, the Library of Congress. And then a secluded private island I own. And then, anything you want,” 

“That’s too much! I’m going to be so busy,” you laugh. It sours at the ends of it: 

_ I wish Loki was here.  _

You brush the idea away: it’s a dangerous one you don’t want dampening this party. Nat comes over to your side animatedly. 

“Come on, Fae, let’s go dance!” she cheers, leading you to the center of the room. For a solid hour, you’re overjoyed. Every pore is full of happiness. Dancing with your friends, playing around: eating delicious food. That, thankfully, no one cooked but was rather catered in. And then… 

“It’s present time!! Come on, all,” Sam demands, and you’re ushered to the side of the room where you notice a mountain of presents.  _ Oh lord…  _

There are too many. Clothes, Plants, Instruments, someone who thought it would be very funny to get you bird pet equipment (it was Clint), soft blankets and plushes, books and bookends… you’re covered in wonderful things. There’s only one more present left: it was hidden all the way in the back, with little holes poked into it. There’s a large red bow tied on it. 

Steve brings it over to you, placing it in your hands delicately. You carefully untie the bow and unwrap the paper. It’s just a white box with holes in it now: the room is silent as you lift the lid. Inside is… 

A small soft black kitten, with a small piece of green ribbon tied around his neck, and with the greenest eyes. He mews and shows his belly. You start to cry as you lift Lokitty out of the box and squeeze him tightly in your arms. He leans right up against you and starts to purr. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, an actually somewhat long chapter? Insanity. 
> 
> Chapters are going to continue to be updated every other Saturday while I finish some other projects! Thank you for understanding. 
> 
> And, as always, comments, questions, concerns!


	53. 4-7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you clear things up with Loki, and the celebration gets underway.

“ _ Loki, Loki, Loki- _ ” you cry, your tears staining his fur. He purrs and rubs his head on anything he can get it on. You squeeze him gently, sobbing into him. Lokitty meows loudly in protest of them. 

And then, he shifts into human form suddenly- still in your lap and still with that silly satin bow- and steals a heated kiss. You gasp into it but press back with no lack of passion. The other Avengers quickly find somewhere else to be. 

“Apologies,” he rests his forehead against yours breathlessly, “But I couldn’t resist. I can go back-” 

“No, no, it’s okay! Oh my god, Loki,” you gasp, tears still falling from your eyes: Loki licks and kisses at them. 

“Don’t cry, my dear. It’s your birthday. It’s your birthday,” he breathes. It’s odd for him to say because it’s not in fact your birthday, but his voice seems convincing. 

“No, it’s not-” 

“It is now, my dear. We’re giving you everything and anything you want, for your birthday,” he insists. You run your hand through his locks: they’ve become slightly unkempt. It’s like you have to memorize his face again from the month plus you were apart. 

“Fine then- it’s my birthday,” you snicker. Loki smiles brightly, pressing his hands into your torso needily. 

“I missed you every single moment,” he whispers in the curve of your neck. 

“Me too, mon minou,” you sigh, wrapping your arms around him adoringly, “I can’t believe you’re back. You’re here,” 

“I’m here, right where I belong, my sweet girl,” he nuzzles your skin, kisses it. You giggle, run your hands through his hair. 

“What are we doing now, now that you’re here and it’s my birthday?” 

“Whatever you want, my dear. Are you hungry? Have you been eating? What about exercise? We could go on a walk-” Loki frets all at once, eyes investigating to see if you’ve lost weight.

“I just ate a little bit… the food is quite good, have you have any, or have you been in the box the whole time?” 

“Doesn’t matter. Was it  _ enough  _ food? I wouldn’t put it past Stark to skimp on your meals-” 

“Loki,” you chuckle drily, cupping his cheek, “I’m absolutely fine. I want to  _ do  _ something with you, to celebrate your return to me.” 

“Oh, my darling…” he whispers. You tense: his tone indicates bad news. 

“What is it?” 

“Only for the week. I’m only here for the week, and then I must return,” he presses his forehead to yours. “I’m so sorry.” 

You clench your jaw, happiness dissipating. Only a week. He was gone for  _ five  _ and now only staying for  _ one _ ? That math just doesn’t add up whatsoever. What’s so important on Asgard? His reputation? No, he never cared much for that anyway. His job? Perhaps, he was so excited about it. It’s the acceptance that’s doing it, you presume. You sigh and look away from him. 

“Oh, my sweet… I’m sorry, please don’t be upset with me, my love,” he croons, sitting up more, and holding onto your shoulders to meet your eyes. “Don’t be mad, please. I’m truly trying my best. I’ll be back home with you any day now, I’m sure of it.” 

“Let’s have the absolute best week then, so I won’t miss you so bad,” you smile at him intensely. Loki breathes out a shaky breath and kisses your lips daintily. Neither of you remarks about the lies in his sentence: both of you want to take full advantage of the time you have. There is no time to worry about that, as Loki begins kissing down your neck pressingly glancing at you for permission. “Let’s move this to the bedroom, hmm? And then let’s definitely continue, you have no idea how weird it’s been without you taking care of me.” 

**Loki**

_ -sex here!-  _

His body can’t stop thrumming with warmth. With power. With happiness. Loki never wants to leave, he’s  _ drunk  _ on this, on languid thrusts into you, on your wings fluttering with each time he enters you, on your moans of pleasure. Loki throws his head back, clutching at your hips and pressing himself in deeper. 

“My  _ love _ ,” he cries, “I love you so much, ah!” you squeeze him tightly with your inner walls and Loki nearly comes right then and there. He’s crying, he’s sure of it, it feels so good everything is so so so good- he waited so  _ long,  _ so long for this, and it feels so  _ good.  _ He keeps working on you, on making your orgasm flow between him and you because when you do… he feels it, and  _ by the norns…  _ he hadn’t truly noticed it before you left. And now that there was that separation and it feels like Vahallah. He could die right here, buried in your cunt, bathing in your noises of pleasure, and count it as a blessing. 

“Loki,” you gasp out. 

“My sweet girl, are you coming? Shall I come alongside you?” he pulls himself up by climbing up your body and kisses you passionately. You squeeze your eyes tight and nod desperately. Loki pulls you closer to him and chases the peak of your pleasure for both of you. Loki reaches down and rubs your clit pressing you to come. 

When you shout in pleasure and come undone under his hands, he instantly feels it. The pleasure washing over him, overwhelming him to orgasm. His hips rut against yours as he rides it out for the both of you. After he softens, Loki goes back to kissing your stomach lightly. 

“No… no more, Loki, let’s be done now,” you laugh breathily, pushing his face off of you. Loki pouts. “That was the  _ fifth  _ time tonight, I need a break! We can do more tomorrow night, alright my kitten?” 

“Fine, if you wish it,” he waves a hand to erase the mess before lying beside you. Just.. gazing at you as you gaze at him. “What are you thinking of, my love?” 

“Five times for five weeks, it makes sense,” you hum. Loki tuts and pulls you into his chest. 

_ -alright, all good!-  _

“You deserve more than that,” he muses alongside a peck to your forehead, “You deserve the world. I wish I could give it to you. So you’d never be lonely. And never cry. I hate it when you cry.” 

You had cried before the infernal Avengers finally let you into your own party. He felt it: it had awoken Loki from his cat-nap inside his little present. He had curled up in a ball, begging the pain to stop. He tried so hard to be quiet, but couldn’t withhold those loud pitiful mews.  _ She’s right there,  _ his body had screamed,  _ why are you letting her cry? Why are you letting her be sad? It is your job, your sacred duty, to keep your soulmate happy. Why do you do nothing?  _

Loki whimpers a little at the memory and pulls you closer. 

“No more crying, you got it,” you agree, and his body untenses all at once. 

“That’s my lovely girl,” he sighs in relief. You nuzzle in closer to him and all is well. 

“Loki we have to… we have to talk about things. You know that, right?” 

Loki's relaxation dissipates. _Why do we have to? There is no true reason. Everything is fine, we are together and everything is fine-_

“I… I will admit that I do not want to. Is this illusion of peace not enough? Why should we spoil our week so early?” he pets your hair. Rests his head between your horns. Feels your sigh resonate into his body. 

“Mon minou. It’s not good to just leave these things unsaid! It’s unhealthy. If we let this go… what next? Are you going to cheat on me and we’d just leave it for a later date?” 

“By the Norns, I’d never cheat on you-” 

“That’s not what I’m  _ saying _ Loki.” 

“I love you,” he whispers brokenly, “Why would I ever- do you think I would? Do you fear that?” 

The idea of embracing another woman, or man, or really anything in the same way he embraces you so sweetly is sickening. It physically makes him feel sick. What you have, it's special: why would he squander that in such a foolish manner?

“No more than you normally would in a relationship with the most beautiful talented wonderful man/woman/both/neither you’ve ever met!” you squawk indignantly, “And this is not the point.” 

“You think I’m the most beautiful, talented, and wonderful?” Loki chuckles, the praise clouding his thoughts. 

“Loki,” you chastise, “This isn’t the point here. Now is when we talk about it. Or you might as well go back to Asgard and miss the celebration completely.” Loki stiffens and groups the part of your back that has just the smallest bit of feather and pulls you in. 

“I don’t… I don’t want to miss this time with you. I want to be with you,” he murmurs, “And if this is what it takes… then I might as well talk.” 

“Perfect then. Do you know what you did wrong, mon minou?” you ask him. 

_ Yes. I did a lot wrong, but trust me, it’s going to be all the better in the future.  _

“I’m not sure,” he answers instead, truthfully. He isn’t sure. 

“Loki… the way you’ve been acting, it’s not good. You, even if you didn’t realize it, were baiting me into staying in that horrible place. And if we had left when I wanted to, if we had left when we first found out that Odin wasn’t going to change his mind… we could’ve been living in the Norway house right now. You’re not really… listening to me anymore. Or rather, you keep doing things for you. For the sake of our relationship. You do things that you think will make me happy in the moment and then twist it so we stay together,” you explain. Loki’s hands tremble where they’re splayed across your back. 

“But… I love you. Why would I try and hurt you if I-” 

“You’re not trying to hurt me. You’re trying to keep me,” you whisper, almost imperceptible. Loki shudders. You’re right. You’re completely right. He doesn’t want to lose you. And it’s hurting you. 

“So… what should I do, my love? Tell me what to do. I’ll do it, anything,” He would, really. Anything that would make you trust in him. Happy with him. Loki doesn’t like how you feel so horribly betrayed: he’s supposed to be the one you can always rely on. 

“I know you would, mon minou. You’re so good to me. I need you to talk to me, okay? Let’s be honest, no hiding. Think about what would be best for you and for me, not for the relationship. The relationship isn’t a person. I’m the person, and you’re another. Sounds about right?” 

“I will do it to the best of my ability,” 

“Awesome,” you sigh in relief and promptly fall asleep against his chest. Loki rubs your back soothingly. 

Does this mean he should tell you? 

About the soulbonds. The apples of immortality. The pain he feels. 

_ I’m sure she doesn’t want to hear that. She doesn’t need to be weighed down with that: my angel needs to fly.  _

The apples, since you hadn’t finished a full one, will taper out. Their effects won’t last. And clearly, you don’t want it: Loki feels horrible that he almost forced a fate like that on you. He wasn’t in his right mind. 

He was drunk with pleasure… and now, Loki’s almost glad that there was some distance. He can work on being better. This week will prove to teach him once again what it is to be good: a good person, a good lover… a good husband. 

Loki snuggles in close to you, kisses your temple, and then lets sleep take him. 

**You**

When you were told you were going to Disney World, you hadn’t really thought about the  _ how _ . Now, inside Tony’s private jet, you’re having second thoughts. All of the Avengers fit in the expansive jet: Steve, Nat, Peter (who was dropped off as a surprise this morning), Sam, Tony, Pietro, Wanda, Vision, Clint, and Loki. Everyone seems to be in good spirits: taking naps, playing video games, eating breakfast (which is quite delectable), and just talking animatedly. 

“Is this all… really necessary? It’s so very fancy,” you remark. Loki hums, spinning his wine glass. “And are you sure wine so early in the morning is a good idea? I don’t want you to be all drunk for my day.” 

“I wouldn’t dare become intoxicated! You know full well that  _ one  _ glass isn’t going to do anything,” he snorts, "And I try not to drink on Asgard: it's so much stronger. I will only be able to taste this nectar here." You frown. He’s right, of course, and you can appreciate that he's trying to remain cool-headed in such a dangerous place. “Anyway,” he sits closer to your chair and pecks your check, “Aren’t you excited?” 

“Yeah!! I want to do everything!! But… won’t it be odd if we just fly in on this fancy plane? I kinda wanna, ya know, stay undercover. Have a fun experience without being swarmed,” you sigh, resting on Loki’s shoulder. Loki gives a small purr as you bend to scratch his scalp. 

“Kid, of course, we’re going to be in disguise. I’m not an idiot,” Tony rolls his eyes. 

“Illusions? Or-” 

“BASEBALL CAPS!!” Clint declares, pulling out a large box of them alongside sunglasses. You and Loki sigh and look at each other. 

“Illusions?” 

“Illusions.” 

~~~~~

You ended up using illusions. They don’t make you look any different: just a clever bit of spellwork that will stop anyone from recognizing you unless you introduce yourself. Tony had honest to god landed the plane on the lake in front of the Magic Kingdom. You’re pretty sure it’s illegal, but Tony insists that Disney thrives off Stark Tech and Avengers-themed things and wouldn’t risk pissing him off by ruining an Avenger’s so-called birthday. 

You’re so excited that you might burst, bouncing on the balls of your feet as you use a wristband that Tony supplied to enter the park. It’s so funny: you’ve been to a legitimate alien planet with golden palaces but this… 

It’s like you’re finally getting a childhood. The music is upbeat and fun, and people wave as you enter welcomingly. There are bubbles in the air, and people wander around with fun outfits and ears. You grab onto the person nearest to you excitedly. 

“ _ Steve!!  _ Look, look at the mickey ears!!” you gasp. He diverts his attention, and the both of you gawk excitedly. “I need to get Loki the Stitch ones. He’s exactly like Stitch,” you glance to Loki, who seems to be withholding his sneer for your benefit. You place them on his head: though he pouts, it only adds to the perfection of it all. 

“Loki, you look so good! I love it so much!” you cheer, pressing a kiss to his cheek. Loki flushes slightly and bursts out in a small genuine smile. 

“If it makes you happy, I will do it,” he agrees. You nod enthusiastically. Loki glances about the stand. 

“They don’t have any Princess Bride ones,” he frowns. It makes you grin goofily as his eyebrows knit together. “You like the Princess Bride.” 

“Yeah, but maybe for now,” you pluck a Lilo headband from the cart, “We can match!” Loki’s face relaxes and he kisses you sweetly. 

“I’d like that,” 

“We should all get some!!” Steve interrupts the two of you. You nod your head excitedly (despite Loki’s glare) and everyone ends up picking out some. Steve got the original ones, Tony got some Big Hero Six ones, Clint and Nat got marriage Mickey and Minnie ones (they’re not married, obviously, but they have it in their heads to pretend to be on their anniversary to skip lines), Sam was frustratingly given Orange Bird ears (it’s because Clint wanted to go with Nat), Peter got Space Mountain ones (to say he’s excited is a understatement), Pietro didn’t know what to get so you just got him some sparkly silver ones on a headband to match his hair, Wanda got the normal Minnie ones (“I don’t need anything fancy”), and Vision was given Wall-E ones against his will. 

Now that everyone had some merchandise, and Tony was complaining about spending so much money mockingly, you excitedly bounced down Main Street. Loki keeps pointing out things: ice cream, balloons, the castle itself. 

“It’s a visual illusion, it’s not that big,” he whispers to you in reference to Cinderella Castle. 

“Yeah, I know, but it’s still so pretty here! I’ve always wanted to come since I was little. I wanted to go to a place where I could escape everything. And you know, the other kids loved it so much, I imagined how magical it must be,” you whisper back, reaching down to hold his hand. Loki squeezes it. 

“Hey, lovebirds!! Let’s take a picture!” Sam calls out, waving by a photographer. The castle would be in the background, stretching into the beautiful blue sky. It’s a mantlepiece picture. You grin and take your place next to the rest of the party. 

“Say cheese!” the photographer says cheerfully. You’ll remember this moment forever: not because something exploded, or you almost died, or you lost someone but because you were  _ happy _ . And there was nothing looming over it. It was normal and fun, and you're so happy you could cry. 

Loki’s hand in yours, Steve’s arm around your shoulder, Tony above your shoulder, Clint posing by your feet, Nat and Pietro and Peter and Sam and Vision and Wanda. And everything is so  _ good _ . 

The camerawoman looks up from her camera and grins. 

“What a perfect family!” 

You smile wide. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, it's a very short chapter. But can you blame me for wanting to end there? It felt so natural. 
> 
> As always, questions, comments, concerns!


	54. 4-8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the celebration continues- and a little mystery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THE END NOTES, VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!

The rest of the day is paved in gold. You do  _ all  _ the rides you can get to. Space Mountain, Seven Dwarves, Pirates of the Caribbean, Splash Mountain, It’s a Small World and so many others. You only make it through the Magic Kingdom and Epcot before it’s dinner time, even with skipping the lines. Every moment was a joy. You laughed and squealed with delight every second. 

Loki never left your side and grinned alongside you each time you did. When you all got ice cream, when you found merch you liked, when you danced through the streets with your wings fluttering because of all the joy. It’s dinner time now, and Steve wants hot dogs but Tony wants something a bit fancier. 

As they discuss (argue, more like), you steal a kiss from Loki. 

“What was that for?” 

“For being with me today. I love you, mon minou,” you chirp. Loki’s eyes water and he looks at you with such adoration and love that it makes your heart pang. His hand intertwines with yours and squeezes gently. 

“There’s still so much to see and do. We’re not done yet,” he rasps, throat dry as he looks at you. You smile brightly. 

“I’m so excited you would not  _ believe _ ,” 

“Wonderful,” he sighs, pulling you close to his chest. The moment is beautiful and serene for a moment: and then Pietro zooms by.

“Lovebirds!! Please, my poor innocent eyes can’t take it-” 

“By the norns, you petulant speedster, we’re not having intercourse we’re just  _ embracing-  _ if that’s inappropriate I believe that you should readjust your standards,” Loki snarls, not letting you go in the least. You giggle. 

“He’s just  _ teasing,  _ mon minou, for the god of lies sometimes you  _ completely  _ miss out on sarcasm,” Loki seems to understand better after your clarification, though he still glares at Pietro. Pietro’s cackling, you’re chuckling, Loki’s making a “humph” sound.  _ Gods above, I love you.  _

“Kid! What do  _ you  _ want for dinner? Something quick or something sits down?” Tony calls out to you, breaking from his argument with Steve. Both of the men stare at you, awaiting your answer. 

“What if we just split up and met at the statue for the fireworks show in an hour and a half? Then we’ll be early for the fireworks  _ and  _ we’ll be able to eat what we want. We go back to the hotel after and just chill! It’s been a long day, and even I'm tired at this point. And Loki’s been carrying me when my feet get tired,” you snicker, glancing up at the man himself: he seems unbothered by it, by hauling you into his arms and letting you rest for a while before placing you down again. 

“I regret nothing,” he whispers in your ear, “Any moment you’re in my arms is a moment I simply… relish.” 

You shiver and then smack his arm, mouthing ‘stop’. The last thing you need is to be aroused the  _ entire  _ time before you get to your hotel room. Loki smirks, growls a little in your ear before letting it go entirely. You pout and glare at him: this  _ wicked  _ man. 

“God, get a room or let  _ us  _ get dinner okay?” Tony groans. You flush deeply and squeak out a “where?”. Tony quickly decides on the nearby Tony’s Restaurant (for the themed dining, and not the namesake, you’re sure) whereas Steve wishes to go to the nearby hot dog place. 

“So who are you coming with?” Peter asks cheerfully. And again, all the attention is on you. Where’s the birthday girl going? Who gets to have dinner with you? It’s funny how this seems so childish and at the same time all-consuming. 

“Erm…” 

“Come with me, Fae, we’re going to try and shove as many hotdogs as we can in Steve. He eats so much, it’s going to be so funny,” Sam laughs aloud, winking at Steve. 

“Nah, do you really want that? Sounds gross,” Pietro sticks out his tongue, “The restaurant is so fancy! We passed it on the way in. And I hear, get this, they have  _ dessert  _ pasta. Where the meatballs are brownies!” 

“Seriously? You’re so easy, Pietro: if we get something faster we can do more later!” Wanda chimes in. 

“I’d like to go and try this ‘dessert’ pasta with Stark. It would be enjoyable if you came with,” Vision adds. Wanda makes a soft ‘oh’, looking at him hesitantly. You’re starting to get antsy: there’s so much arguing, they’re at odds and you  _ hate  _ it- 

“My darling and I are going to find our own location for dinner this evening. You riff-raff can go do whatever you want, you needn’t bother us,” Loki calmly interrupts. You sigh, relieved, and pull in closer to him. 

“Yeah, you guys just do your own thing. We’re going to go our own way and find something for us to eat. We can just use the bands, right?” 

“Yeah, you can: have fun on your date night, kiddo. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Or anything I’d do, actually. You know? Just do what you usually do. Go bang in a bathroom stall,” Tony waves it off with his eyes closed before starting to walk off. 

“What do you  _ think _ Loki and I do all the time? WE DON’T JUST FUCK,” you squawk watching as a very flushed Peter, Pietro, Natasha, and Vision follow behind Tony. 

“Oh, of course not! You go on dates sometimes too! But you know, the amount of time spent doing both those activities is… varied, is all,” Steve pats you on the head before starting in a different direction with Wanda, Sam, and Clint in tow. You make an exasperated noise and look to Loki, all riled up. 

“He has a point, you know,” Loki shrugs, rubbing the skin of your forehead before kissing it. 

“Agh, not you too. It’s a perfectly normal amount, you know, and I’ve been woefully lacking lately,” 

“Is that a request?” Loki purrs. 

“No,” you laugh, pushing him playfully, “Let’s just get some food.” 

“I know what  _ I  _ want to eat,” Loki implies, and you blush a deep red before turning to glare at him.

“Loki, one more quip, and I’m making you sleep with Tony tonight,” you warn. Loki rolls his eyes and wraps an arm around your waist. 

“Fine, fine, you’ve proven your strong will remains intact. Now, shall we impart on a stroll my love?” he tweaks your nose with his free hand and then lets you lead him down a bridge. Music plays softly, and though the crowds are large, it feels easy to ignore. Feels like it’s just you and Loki again. 

“I missed you,” you say, slightly strangled and strained, “I know I’ve already said it so many times already, but I feel like I need to say it more for it to encapsulate how much I mean it. I missed you so much, Loki. I haven’t been without you for this long for a long while. It’s just… it’s just so nice to have you back, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to let you leave,” you sniffle. 

“Oh, my dear…” Loki tuts, pulling you aside the Haunted Mansion (which none of the Avengers found all that spooky but quite interesting- you had ridden with Peter, and both of you took great joy in the music rather than anything else) and placing a kiss on your hairline again, “I don’t want to go either. I missed you more than you can possibly know. And I know that I’ve… not been the  _ best  _ of ‘boyfriends’ but my feelings are genuine. And I’m trying to do better. That’s one of the reasons I’m doing this, on Asgard- for us, our future together… unmarred by any familial scars or lingering discrepancies,” he tells you quietly. You sense no lies in his statement and smile with the knowledge. 

“And wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could return to Asgard without a bit of worry? No fear, as you visit your Moors- no trepidation at family balls. You could be happy, on Asgard and on Midgard,” he whispers, his breath cool as it hits your cheek. 

“It would be nice, mon minou, but do you really think you can do that? Is it possible?” 

“Oh, have a little faith in me. Silvertongue, remember?” he chuckles. You start moving again, catching sight of a small restaurant that serves seafood sandwiches and pulling Loki towards it. 

“Do you think… that you could be a liaison to the Jotuns? Like, reveal yourself to be a Frost Giant and then work on the relationship?” you suggest. Loki’s fright only shows in an eyebrow twitch and widening of eyes, but you know him well and they are extremely apparent to you. 

“You don’t have to, it’s just a suggestion,” you assure him, the door of the restaurant swinging open with your hand, “But it would be nice, no? You could reunite the realms under fairness instead of tyranny. Install laws in place that limit Odin’s cruelty,” 

“My sweet dove, I don’t think they’d trust me. I’ve already betrayed them once. I  _ killed  _ their king, remember?” his hand slides closer with yours, cold even in the warm evening of Orlando, and you can’t help but want to pull him tighter. 

“Then shouldn’t you be next in line for succession? If you frame it as a coup d'etat…” 

“So very clever, aren’t you?” he smirks, and you’re flushing embarrassedly as you thrust a menu in front of him, mumbling to choose what he wants. Loki throws his head back in a loud laugh, returning the menu and ordering after you before pressing his lips to your temple. “You’re perfect for me.” 

“Good to hear, you flatterer,” you grumble, smacking him in the back with your wing, before paying and moving out of the order line. “But seriously, would that work?” 

“Doubtful. If I had the good sense to assume power right then and there, that would be one thing. But it’s been several years since that time, I’m sure they’ve put someone else in my rightful place who holds much spite for me. And it would be even worse if I arrive at Odin’s behest. There is no doubt that the two they hate most are Odin and myself,” Loki’s elegant nose scrunches up with the thought. You try to envision hating both Loki and Odin: it seems ridiculous, they’re so different. And at odds themselves, no less. 

“I mean, it’s up to you. And in all honesty… I don’t think that Odin would  _ let  _ you. He’s so conceited and bigoted. God, it makes my blood boil: it’s been centuries and he can’t work on being a better person yet?” you growl, wings flaring. Loki pulls you closer to him. 

“Calm now, my sweet. Getting upset on your birthday? We can’t have that,” he chuckles. You smile at him decisively. 

“Thought it was my birthday yesterday, I couldn’t cry yesterday because it was my birthday,” you tease. 

“Well, this is your birthday three years ago. The one where I wasn’t even around for, and when you were all alone,” Loki smiles, a little smile that has the end of his lip curling upwards, and you hug him tightly.

“I love you so much, minou,” you tearily tell him, “I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life,” 

“Oh… my sweet girl… it is my pleasure to be here. I want to be here with you, but first, I want the entire world to be safe for you. I’ll always be in your life, if you want me,” Loki’s words were a comfort, a blessing, a mantra: he’s not going anywhere. You’re never going to be alone again. A food service worker announces that your food is ready, and Loki rolls his eyes dramatically as you go to receive it. 

“Don’t give me that, I’m eating, we can snuggle later,” 

“Yes yes, I’d prefer your put your health over me as well,” he takes the sandwich from you and bites into it. It’s not heavenly, it’s not dessert pasta or too many hot dogs but… but it’s with Loki. It’s with Loki and that makes it so absolutely delicious. The sun is starting to set, and the Liberty Square Riverboat chugs around the river, and you can hear thrilled screams from Splash Mountain. It’s quiet, but loud, but you feel calmer than you have in weeks. Love swells in your heart for this man who makes you feel so safe. 

You reach down to hold his hand. 

“I really do love you more than anything, mon minou. Loki,” you whisper. 

“Me too,” Loki’s voice cracks. He had said once that he’d wait for you to say those words, that he’d wait forever: you can’t imagine that he truly thought it would ever happen. Loki’s always been pessimistic towards himself, towards his beauty… it’s easy to see that he never thought he’d get to have you like this. You go to sit at a nearby bench, watching the sunset, resting your head on his strong shoulder (carefully, so you don’t impale him), eating your sandwich. 

Loki purrs quietly, a lovely familiar sound. You notice that he hadn’t been doing it all day: but then again, it’s been a while since you were together. He might just be out of practice, so you’re not going to make any remarks. You don’t want to, anyway: it would ruin the serene atmosphere. 

“What do you want to do now? It’s nearly time for fireworks,” you hum, after finishing the last bite of your sandwich. Loki uses his magic to levitate it to the trash can, both of you too comfortable to walk the ten feet to throw it away. 

“Whatever you wish, my darling, whatever you wish,” he says, petting your hair back. 

“I don’t know! That’s why I asked,” you huff. 

_ Wait.  _

“Loki, do you want to fly around? Like we used to?” you ask, voice betraying your excitement. 

In all the wildness that was happening in your family, you had forgotten about one key idea of your dreams in Disney World: to not just  _ go  _ but to fly above it all. To look down on all the happy families like you were Peter Pan in the night.

“Would it make you happy?” 

“I am already happy. It would make this day complete,” you grin. Loki gives you a mere moment of a lovestruck expression, with his eyes shining and his body loose and his face relaxed and open, before shifting into your precious Lokitty. You lift him up to block the last slip of sun behind him, and he spreads his paws wide comically. He wiggles enough that you set him down, and you let him place his tiny toe beans on your face. The smallest bit of tongue bleps out and licks your nose. 

Giggling, you summon the all-too-familiar baby sling and put it on. Lokitty jumps right in, snuggling in perfectly and extending his claws to secure himself. 

“Good boy, mon minou,” you kiss his tiny fuzzy head. Lokitty mews, then purrs deeply. You breathe in deeply, secure your illusions, and then take off into the air. The rush of wind is exhilarating, and you trust yourself to stay up in the air with powerful wingbeats. You can still hear the scraps of music from the park, little bits of “Let’s Go Fly A Kite”. You’re not trying to go fast, just a nice relaxed rhythm that carries you across the park. You fly about the entire thing once, twice, before slowing. You soar above Beast’s Castle, glide beyond Space Mountain with a fun little circling of the Astro Orbiter, and then climb higher into the sky to perch on one of the edges of the Cinderella Castle.

“Wow. That was beautiful, no, Lokitty?” you breathe out. Loki purrs, rubs his head against your chest. You give him a little scratch behind his ears as a treat. 

You’re tranquil for a moment, and then you hear it: a firework launcher locking.  _ Fuck!  _

“Hold on tight, mon minou, we have to go,” you say quickly, before diving off of the castle. You stretch your wings as wide as possible and catch just enough wind to stumble to a halt by the statue you promised to meet the others at. The firework explodes behind you, ringing in your ears long after it finishes. It was just a testing one that they do before the show but… dear god, you need to spell your ears. Lokitty climbs out of the sling, yowling quite loudly, and only quiets when you pull him into your arms and assure him you’re okay. 

“It’s fine, mon minou, it just scared me, is all,” you say, breathless, squeezing him tightly. 

“Mrrow,” he tucks his head into your neck, nipping at it. 

“I know, I know, I won’t do it again, I’ll be safer,” you sigh, dropping your illusion to fizz into sight again. The other Avengers arrive quickly after that scare, cradling your kitten and playing with him via an illusion. Lokitty, apparently, falls victim to the same alluring red dot that other cats do. You laugh as he pounces on it, again and again, tail swishing in the air. You giggle as he makes a loud “mrrow!” before missing it again. You laugh out loud: Lokitty’s ears twitch and he mews softly after watching you. 

“OH MY GOODNESS, A CAT!” Peter squeals. Lokitty hisses at him, moving backward. Peter, before you can even open your mouth to explain, bends down to Lokitty’s level and quietly clicks at him while holding his hand out to greet him. You watch in awe as Lokitty, with narrowed eyes, lankily prowls to Peter and sniffs at his hand. “Aww, you’re a handsome boy, huh? Prettiest cat I’ve ever seen, aren’t you?” 

Lokitty meows loudly and allows Peter to pet him for a moment before showing his teeth and going to bite. 

“LOKI! None of that,” you pick him up and out of the reach of Peter. Peter, for his part, has his jaw on the ground. Lokitty pays it no mind and as per usual, is caught up in his little cat world and shimmies enough that he can perch on your shoulder. 

“Loki?” Peter squawks. 

“Yes, let me explain- this little rascal,” you scratch under Lokitty's chin, “Is Loki. Lo-kitty, to be precise. This is how we met. And I’m delighted to see that you two get along so well,” 

“I mean, Mr. Loki did try to scratch me, but this is SO COOL! Mr. Loki, can you show me more magic??” he says, stars in his eyes. Loki’s so startled he makes a strangled half-human noise. 

“I think that means ‘thanks’. Minou, would you like to show Peter some tricks soon?” 

Lokitty nods regally. Peter grins, then it sours. 

“Aww, but I’m going home tonight! Can we do it some other time? You seem so amazing!” Peter ask, scratching the back of his neck, “I’m really sorry, I totally understand if you don’t want it…” 

“Mrrow!!” Loki demands. 

“I think that’s an ‘it’s fine’.” you translate. Peter’s face blossoms with exuberance, and he glows still even after Tony sends him back to the plane to fly him home (Happy’s doing it virtually). Lokitty licks your ear, and you feel the familiar muting spell fall upon you like a weighted blanket. 

You and your family and your favourite kitten settle by the statue, full and joyous, as the fireworks start to burst into the night sky to the very faint music of your nonexistent childhood. 

~~~~~

Tony had reserved a hotel room for all of you in the nearby Contemporary: you’ll be staying here a total of three days and two nights so you’ll be able to do every single thing you could ever want. The nights were spent in Loki’s pleasurable embrace, the mornings up and early and hungry for more, the days spent running about everywhere that was available to see, and the evenings doing whatever beautiful thing that day’s park had to offer. 

The trip ends after a day full of exploring and excitement (the sun's not even down but you feel as though it should be) but it’s not the  _ end  _ of your birthday celebration: Loki still claims he wants to do something with you. 

“Come with me, darling… we’ll see the others back at the tower. I have something I want to do with you, just you and me,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT'S ALMOST THE ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THIS FIC!! One whole gosh darn year!! Insane. 
> 
> So on November 30th, 2020, I'm going to be holding a little event from 3pm-6pm EST. I don't really know what you guys want to see, but there's going to be an Ask Me Anything related to fic: character hcs, 'what ifs', plot stuff, really anything! You can ask the questions before 6pm and I'll answer them on here (Archives) or ask me anytime before or during on Tumblr (@lehuka123) prefacing it with something to let me know it's for this here event. 
> 
> I'll also be posting some Picrews I made of the OCs of how they look in my head (Brio, Josh, Fae...)!! 
> 
> And, of course, send in anything you'd like me to see. I'll post it here and on Tumblr. 
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ONE YEAR GUYS!


	55. Fae's One Year Anniversary: Special Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some fun stuff!

**PICREWS OF OCS + Mini Blurbs**

**Fae ~**

_Blurb:_

This is how Fae looks in my head! I know it's written second-person and Reader Insert, but she's become more of her own nowadays. So this is how she appears! 

_Height_ : ~

 _Age_ : ~ 

_Eye Colour_ : ~

 _Hair Colour_ : ~ 

_Pronouns_ : she/her

**Josh Zhang**

_Blurb:_

Josh is super charismatic. He's always been that way: and no one expected that he'd drop out of High School to pursue a librarian career because of that. He's the exact opposite of the person you'd expect to do that. Josh's parents are supportive of his queerness, of which he hides none of it. He attends the Pride Parade every year with a few of his friends: and he's started an LGBTQIA+ Book Club. He'd never tell a soul but he's written several books with diverse casts. None of which have been published. 

_Height_ : 5'5.5" 

_Age_ : 24

 _Eye Colour_ : Dark Brown

 _Hair Colour_ : Light Brown with a shock of electric blue! I know I never talked about this but now it's true. 

_Pronouns: he/him_

**Carroll Powell**

_Blurb:_

Carroll's been taking night classes at the local college. They want to go into law, actually: they're extremely good at catching lies and discrepancies. Carroll, as a person, seems prickly but is only being forefront. They don't like to butter things up, and would rather get straight to the point. Carroll has a fiancé! They've been holding off getting married until he can get certified as a medical practitioner. Carroll doesn't talk about him much, but he's one of the people who support them 100%. They have Dominican heritage on their mother's side. 

_Height_ : 6'0" 

_Age_ : 26 (they're actually the eldest!) 

_Eye Colour_ : Olive Green 

_Hair Colour_ : A sort of caramel brown

 _Pronouns_ : they/them 

**Katy Mittal**

_Blurb:_

Precious girl. To say "well-loved" is a gross understatement. Katy's only an intern but she's at the library all. the. time. Even when it's not her shift, she'll be there. Katy has a younger brother: he's quite mischievous and Josh often remarks how impossible it is that they're siblings. Katy was given the feathers on her earring from Fae: some molted feathers that our favourite Dark Fae doesn't need anymore. Katy sees Fae as an older sister and a mentor and strives to be an advocate for justice and equality especially about fellow people with speech impediments. She doesn't talk about it much but she's an absolutely brilliant soccer player. 

_Height_ : 5"1" (the shortest by FAR) 

_Age_ : 17 (born in 2003) 

_Eye Colour_ : Her eyes are a light brown, almost honey coloured. 

_Hair Colour_ : Dark Brown 

_Pronouns_ : she/her

**Brio**

_Blurb:_

I love Brio. He's just so... much. Brio dresses fairly feminine, much to the distaste of his large family back on Asgard, and is all but excluded from the family. To be honest, he doesn't care that much. Brio is proficient in dozens of instruments and is incredibly talented. He struggles to focus on things often and tends to be distracted. Brio adores Josh for his fun, yes, but also because he's strong. For Brio, Josh is like a pillar. Ironic since he's so much taller than him, but none the less. Brio's already written several songs for Josh and doesn't plan on leaving him any time soon. Also, Brio's hair? It's _long_. He doesn't really cut it more than a trim, so it's grown out since he was young. Usually it's in a long braid or a top knot to stay out of the way, but he's not opposed to people playing with it. He also loves flowers but is _horrible_ at taking care of them (forgets to water them a lot). 

_Height_ : 6'5" (he's the tallest. Brio _towers_ over everyone) 

_Age_ : Somewhere around 500. 

_Eye Colour_ : A tantalizing purple that ranges from plum to lavender. 

_Hair Colour_ : Black 

_Pronouns_ : he/him/they (To be honest, he's just discovered that there's so many more pronouns on Midgard and loves experimenting on what works for him) 

**The gang's all here! Remember to tune in to[my Tumblr](https://lehuka123.tumblr.com/) at 3pm-6pm EST to see me answer questions! Feel free to [ask](https://lehuka123.tumblr.com/ask) any you want to, on anon or with your blog: headcanons, plot junk, questions, comments, concerns! **

_And thank you to all of the readers who stop in each and every week to see what's happening. Thank you to the readers who read it all in one night. Thank you to the readers who were here at the beginning. Thank you to the readers who came recently. Thank you to the people who comment, thank you to the people who like._

_Thank you, thank you, thank you._

_There is so much more story to tell, and I can't wait to share it._

All my love, 

Lehuka


	56. 4-9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Loki makes a promise.

“Where are we going, mon minou?” you ask curiously. He’s walked you to an open field outside the park, night by now, and his heart is beating so loud you can hear it without listening for it. Loki’s nervous. 

“Ah… just a special little outing. As you well know, I’m leaving tomorrow and I- I don’t want to be left thinking that it’s easy for me or-” 

“Loki,” you coo, sliding a hand up his face (to which he makes a high pitched sigh quite close to a moan), “I’m just happy you came at all. I don’t like it when you’re stuck up there, you’re supposed to be stuck with me,” you attempted to sound teasing, but it feels too real. Loki’s supposed to be stuck with you. He’s supposed to be down here, with you, and you’re supposed to have a different life. Loki gets choked up, and he pulls you in closer to his chest. 

“Let’s go, my sweet,” he says, and in a flash of green, you’re in a new place. A beach, to be exact. The moon’s high in the sky, a full moon shining across the gentle rushing waves, and Loki’s prepared a small picnic on the sand. Little sandwiches and fruit and nuts and little sweets. Wine and sparkling water. Flowers. The beach is devoid of people: it’s just you, Loki, and this romantic picnic. 

You smile, tears in your eyes, and cup your face. 

“Loki…” 

“Do you like it?” he asks nervously, his hands twitching as he touches your back. 

“Loki, this is so sweet. This is- you’re so lovely, you’re the best,” you break out in a smile, wings fluttering excitedly. Loki bends towards you, tilting your head to the side and pressing his lips onto yours. It’s sensual and soft: you moan, muffled, into his mouth as he kisses you soundly and firmly. After you come up to breathe, more than slightly woozy, you blearily smile at him. 

“What was that for?” 

“When you smile, my world glows in completion. Without you in it, my sunshine, the world is an ocean of darkness. I don’t think I could live without you,” Loki whispers. You blush immediately after his words: a silvertongue indeed. You push him embarrassedly.

“Come on now, you’re exaggerating, Johnny Cash. Let’s go sit down,” you can’t meet his eyes, your face is so flushed. It’s the way he said it, with such deep longing despite you being so near. The way it was framed as an explanation for the kiss. You know without a shadow of a doubt that Loki loves you, in that desperate needy way of his. Though you knew this already, it hurts your heart to be reminded that Loki hasn’t had this sort of mutual romantic love in his life. But it’s hard… because you know all too well that he makes rash decisions because of it. That he values the relationship and the love over a lot of other things that he really shouldn’t. 

It frightens you, now. Now that there’s been distance, you can see how love has tunneled Loki’s vision. And there’s something… off. About him and about what he’s been like in recent months. 

You pat the spot next to you on the blanket, and Loki sits beside you daintily. He grasps a strawberry with lean fingers and holds it to your mouth. 

“Loki, I’m honestly not that hungry. We already had dinner recently!” you laugh awkwardly. Loki sees through it, of course he does. Loki’s brows furrow as he eats the sweet fruit himself. 

“Is something wrong? Did I do something to upset you, my darling?” he questions raspily. His hand flutters between rubbing his own chest and brushing your face. You sigh and crawl into his lap until you're straddling him and his delightfully sinful thighs. Loki takes a deep breath and wraps his arms around your backside to support you before resting his head on your shoulder. “I love you so much. So much that it pains me, my love. I don’t- I don’t want you to be unhappy with me. Do you not like the food? Is the area not to your liking? What can I fix for you? I can fix it, I promise,” 

“You don’t have to fix anything, Loki. I don’t need it to be complicated or grand. Just simple. I don’t like it when you’re so… well, I guess you could call it dramatic? It’s not really what I’m getting at, though. I like that you can be so animated. It’s more like… you seem like you’re constantly doing all of these things for me and doing everything so that it’s perfect. I don’t want it to be perfect. Remember when we went on our first date?” 

“Of course, it was lovely,” 

“You took me to a grand place and I hated it. So we left and we just… went around and did random things. I loved that so much. It was amazing. And now… I think that if we did the same exact thing today you’d rather magically change the restaurant to be what I’d like rather than just go with the flow. You keep doing all these things for me, that I don’t even really want, when I really want to… be with you, I guess,” you sigh, happy at the admission of the truth after trying to unravel it for so long. Loki sobs dryly into your shoulder. 

“By the Norns, you’re right. You’re so right, I’m sorry, my darling,” his voice is full of regret. And you listen carefully, kissing his head, and you just barely catch wind of the wild self-hatred that lies beneath his words. You pull back for a moment to look directly into his wet eyes.

“Don’t hate yourself for this, Loki. You just got caught up in everything, I don’t blame you, mon minou. This isn’t going to change how I feel about you. Alright?” 

“Alright,” he repeats, “Alright. Now that you’ve pointed it out, I’ll try to be better about it. Thank you for doing that.” 

You grin and scratch his scalp, smiling broader when he purrs.  _ This is healthy,  _ you remind yourself.  _ I told him what was wrong and he agreed to change. Things are getting better.  _

“Actually, darling… there’s something else I wanted to do tonight.” He gently removes you from his lap and rises to his feet, offering you a hand which you gladly take. He pulls you up and leads you down the beach, your shoes shimmering away by his silent magic and clothes morphing to a flowing pastel green sundress, and you walk right into the water.

Rather, on top of the water. The waves roll quietly over your ankles, but Loki’s done something that allows you to to stay atop of it. You gasp in awe at it, then giggle, and then run forward when you see that you’re truly staying atop of it. The noise of your feet slapping against the sea combined with the damp yet supportive water on your skin is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. 

As you shriek in delight as the waves swell slightly and brush your thighs, Loki uses a burst of magic to splash you. 

You gasp dramatically. Loki’s eyes are alight with mischief, even as you use your wings to send a relatively large wave of water cascading down upon him. Loki should be soaked: but instead the clever man had put up a portal just in time. 

“Mon minou, I’m going to get you before we leave, I promise,” you growl playfully, spreading your wings and crouching in a predatory position. Loki assumes a defensive stance. You spray him with a wing: he jumps out of the way, and when he does, you send a burst of water right at him with magic. He’s  _ soaked _ . You cackle at him, and do nothing as he sends a large wave over you: drenching you in seawater as well. And then, after a moment of shock, you’re both laughing. Loki laughing in the moonlight, his eyes crinkled and his mouth open, is maybe the most beautiful thing. 

Being with Loki is magic, in so many meanings of the word. Loki sweeps you into his arms, magic shimmering around both of you to erase the seawater from your skin and wings. He lifts you up into the air, spinning you around as if you were dancing. 

“Are we dancing right now?” 

“We can- but merely as a preface to the real reason I brought you here, love,” Loki smirks. Curiosity piqued, you let him take you hand and lead you in a dance. It’s the same one you did at the induction party when you became an Avenger: nostalgia of a simpler time and happiness at reliving it floods every part of your body. 

“There’s no music, minou,” you murmur as he pulls you in close to his chest. You splay your hands over his pectorals. Loki shivers, and reaches to hold you tighter around the waist. 

“It’s alright. I’m happy just with you,” you look back to the beach: it’s quite far away now, only a blip in the distance. 

“We’re so far away, minou!! What could we possibly need all the way out here?” 

Loki smiles and presents his hands for you to take: you place yours in his, wondering what he can possibly be doing, and yelp as the water rises beneath you. It lifts you gently into the sky, at least five feet. He gets down on one knee in the moonlight, and you cup your hands to your face in shock. 

“Loki… I don’t think we should if you’re going back tomorrow…” You love him, you do: but the heartache that would occur if he proposes and then disappears the day after… it would be incredibly painful.

“Shh, my darling. When I propose marriage, we’ll be moving in together post haste. For now…” he twists his hand and a conch shell rises out of the water by his magic’s demand: it turns fluid and changes shape, separates. And then… it’s two rings. From one shell, Loki’s made two rings: cut from the same cloth but incredibly unique all the same. 

“I won’t propose today: but I promise to you, I will. One day. You have my heart, my soul… I cannot imagine a future without you by my side, my angel. So today, I present you with a promise ring: a promise that I’ll come back and wed you as I have sworn. So you know, without any fear, that I will never stop thinking about you or attempting my return. Do you accept?” 

With tears in your eyes, you nod, and Loki puts the ring on your finger and kisses it. You take his and place it on his own finger: and the two of you kiss under the moonlight. 

“I’m going to miss you, mon minou.” 

“Don’t you worry, my darling. We’re promised. I will always come home to you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IK IT'S SHORT I'M SORRY I'VE BEEN REALLY BUSY WITH MY SANDERS SIDES SECRET SANTA FIC- but Part 4 is halfway through (I think?) 
> 
> It's going to get angstier from here, folks. 
> 
> Comments, questions, concerns!


	57. 4-10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you start the healing process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY I'M SO LATE BABES ;-; AND SORRY EVERYTHING IS SHORT INSPRO IS LACKING LATELY

Loki had left after that. You had waved goodbye to him amicably, kissing him deeply and giving a tight hug. “I love you.” “I’ll be back.” “I’ll miss you.”. 

That was two months ago. He’s not gone, of  _ course  _ he isn’t if his eloquent and occasionally almost worrying letters are anything to show for it, but it feels like it. 

Your family goes to great lengths to include you: more movie nights, Mario Kart, and board games have occurred since Loki left. You’re happy, you really are, but as you twist your promise ring around your finger you can’t help but feel sorrow.

Peter’s started to notice your changes in mood whenever he’s around, and takes it upon himself to take you out somewhere. You tried to tell him that it’s not his responsibility but… he does it anyway. Today’s just like that: you were sighing in your room, holding onto your little Loki-Like kitten, and Peter decided it was time to go to an animal shelter. 

“Come on, it’s so much fun! They always need a helping hand! I’ve been meaning to go see the dogs. And you can look at the cats that you like so much!” 

“Alright then, Peter,” you smile at him and follow him out the door, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. 

_ I already have a kitten that I love. This feels wrong, to go and play with another one.  _

“Umm, Fae, you have to make the portal,” Peter’s voice rouses you from your thoughts, and you quickly make one. Stepping through, you find yourself in the garden. 

You’ve been going there more lately, sitting and reading in your little bunker. Hiding in the trees. It’s familiar: if Loki’s gone like it used to be, then why isn’t everything else going back to the way it was? It’s odd, to have one without the other. 

“Fae, what’s going on? You’ve been… worse lately.” 

“Hey, it’s nothing. I just- I’ve been missing him more lately,” you let out a long breath and brush hair behind your ear. Peter walks over closer to you and hugs you tightly. 

“Mr. Loki really sucks, leaving you alone all this time,” he says quietly, “You’ve been telling him how you feel, right? In all of those letters?” 

“Well…” Peter gasps and separates from his hug. 

“ _ You haven’t been telling him?!”  _

“He’s so busy already! I don’t want him to mess up. He’s wanted this for  _ centuries _ , Peter,” you exclaim, your wings fluttering behind you aggravatedly. 

“He’d come right back here if you told him how much you’re hurting. Can’t you see that all of the Avengers, heck even me, everyone’s on edge? They’re all upset because you’re upset.” 

Anxiety blossoms within you: 

“Have I been affecting you with my magic? Is that it?” 

Peter groans again dramatically. 

“ _ No!  _ Everyone just hates seeing you this way. It’s so distressing.” You blush and finger your ring. 

“Oh… I guess… I guess I’ll tell him. I'm still expecting one for today.” Peter nods vehemently.

“It’s so important! How will the relationship work otherwise??” 

“Hey, aren’t you the one who’s never been in a relationship before?” you chuckle, elbowing him. Peter flushes. 

“That doesn’t mean I can’t give great relationship advice!” 

“Yeah yeah, lead the way. I would like to play with some kitties.” 

~~~

The animal shelter isn’t that far away: Peter insists that you take the bus rather than fly/swing there. You carefully mask your wings from sight, and chat with Peter about school the whole way. It’s nice to be back in the city: nice to enjoy the sights and sounds that you haven’t really been enveloped in in the last few months. The incessant honking. The faint smell of weed. The lights. The bustling people. 

You love the compound, but… it’s lonely. Isolated. The opposite of NYC’s hustle and bustle. 

“Fae, Fae, Fae, it’s right over here!” Peter points out a small storefront: inside you see several dogs and cats. Excited all at once, you follow Peter closely inside. 

“Ah, Peter! Long time no see. And you’ve brought a friend! Hello there, dear!” there’s an old man behind the counter who smiles kindly at both of you. You wave shyly at him. 

“We’re here to give enrichment to the puppies and the kittens,” Peter says solemnly. 

“You just want to play with them, hmm?” 

“No- I’m trying to help my community!!” Peter backtracks, blushing. 

“I can say with full confidence I am only here to play with the kittens,” you pipe up. The man chuckles and opens a door behind the front desk. 

“Go right on in,” he smiles. You give him a bright smile as you walk inside: the room is in fact, full of cats. At least twenty. Cats in large crates on the walls, cats in a little fenced-in enclosure, cats in a cat tree. You cup your hands to your mouth:  _ so cute.  _ It’s due to Lokitty but… cats are near and dear to your heart now. 

“I’m more of a dog person than cats so… I’m going to go be with them. Enjoy the kitties!” Peter gives you a quick hug and then runs into the adjoining puppy room. You sigh and look at all the cats: some watch you and others are already moving around your ankles, meowing loudly. You reach down and offer your hand to them: a calico cat nuzzles it. You pet her gently, and she purrs in your hand. You’re getting all misty eyed because of it. You sit on the ground and let the cats crawl all over you, petting those who want to be pet for about fifteen minutes. The hair is getting all over you, but you can’t really say that you care. They’re so soft and warm. Looking around carefully, you set up an illusion field so that you can stretch your wings out. 

The cats play with the feathers, and you chuckle, looking about the room. Your eyes catch on a lonely black kitten sitting in a crate by himself. You stretch and rise to your feet, cats protesting as you stride over to him. He’s just a fuzzball, with little yellow and blue eyes. When you stretch out a hand, he cowers. 

“You remind me of a very good friend of mine,” you smile at him as you speak: he makes a rumbly “rrow” as you talk. “I haven’t seen him for a while. He’s far away.” 

You squat so you’re at eye level with him, and he starts to walk forward curiously. 

“You’re a very cute little kitty. Not my minou, of course, but different. A good different. I like your eyes,” you smile. He mews. You stretch out a finger, and he sniffs at it before ignoring it. You wiggle it. 

“I miss my kitten very much. My friend brought me here so that I’d miss him less. Daresay, I think it’s working,” you giggle as the kitten makes a deep mrrow and pounces on your finger. You flatten your hand, and he walks onto it: the kitten is so small that he can practically fit in your palm. You run a finger over his body, and laugh as he presses into it. 

“You’re a good kitten. Do you think I could take you home? I already have a snake, but I miss mon minou. You wouldn’t be a replacement for him, but… maybe it will be better. I haven’t been doing all that well, you see. I miss him dearly, and I don’t like being alone. Not to say that I am! It just feels that way sometimes,” you’re pouring your heart out to this little kitten that nestles in your palm. You take him out and sit back on the ground, letting him purr and settle in your cupped hands. You put the illusion back up as the old shop owner walks back inside. 

“Ah, little Vero seems quite taken with you. He’s a shy one, it’s lovely that you’ve gotten to open him up so quickly,” he smiles, eyes crinkling at the edges.  _ So you’re Vero, huh? Some kind of special name.  _

“Oh, I can put him back-” 

“No, please. Keep the little hero.” 

“Huh?” 

“Ah,” the man smiles wider, “His name is Vero as in “great hero” in Latin. He tried to save his whole family, so young. They were stuck in a storm drain, having been pushed in by some cruel folks. Vero was able to run out of harm's way, and would not cease until he found someone to save his mother and siblings,” His face sags with sadness, “They did not make it, I’m afraid. Vero refuses to bond with any of the other potential friends here. So you understand that your companionship means a lot.” 

You wipe away the tears and pet Vero gently. He mews up at you, blinking. 

“If he needs a home… I’ll take him. I’ll take wonderful care of him,” you tearfully reply. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Ah, well. I’ve had a cat before. He recently… moved away, so I’ve been craving the company,” you smile at him wearily. “It’s been a long three months.” The owner looks at you understandingly. 

“I’ll draw up the papers then,” he nods and goes to the desk. You smile to yourself as you pet Vero contently, heart feeling fuller already. 

~~~~~

Vero’s introduction into your life three weeks ago was a blessing. He honestly lives up to his name, with his quiet affection and playfulness. You’ve given him a little spring green collar with a bell, and watching him frolic and meow excitedly at the noise it made kept a smile on your face for days on end. 

Loki still sends his letters, but unlike before where you waited on them like they were a saving grace, now they’re just another part of the day. They make you smile as you read them aloud to Vero.

You haven’t told him about your newfound pet. You feel guilty about it, as you brush and kiss and play and feed your little hero. 

Tony says it’s because Loki’s no longer the center of attention. 

Steve says it’s because you still miss him. 

Nat got it closest. It feels like… you’re trying to replace him. And that if you told Loki, he’d never come back. 

“You’re my little sideman, aren’t you, baby?” you giggle as you play with Vero, making a little illusion of light for him to give chase. He rolls on the ground, trying to catch it fruitlessly with his paws. You sigh happily. 

“My little hero. You’re such a good boy, you know that? I’m worried mon minou would be jealous. He’s the type to be jealous of even a precious kitten like you,” you stop the light, much to his protest, and gather him in your arms. “I don’t know what to do with this. I don’t know if I should really just tell him or keep you quiet. It’s not like he’s coming back tomorrow or anything. I don’t know when he’s coming back, but it’s starting to drag out even longer.” 

Vero meows loudly, worming around in your embrace. You sigh and put him down. 

“I guess I’ll go see Josh and Brio.” 

~~~~~

Otherworldly Instruments. 

That’s what Brio’s shop is called, nestled in a fortuitous storefront in SoHo (Tony helped at your behest): several instruments are in the glass display, both normal and ‘otherworldly’. There are several people milling around, busy for such a random day in the week. The door twinkles as you enter, like a high note by a female singer. 

“Why hello! Welcome to- oh my, darling! Finally come to visit, hmm?” Brio laughs from the front desk, abruptly giving the one poor worker who’s been assisting him recently the entire order of the patron to ring up. He dashes over to you, long robes dragging, and hugs you tightly. You return it, and Brio pulls back first, grasping your face. “How are things? Is that no good lover of yours still sleazing around in Asgard? I honestly don’t know why he stays there, it’s so stuck up comparatively!! And don’t get me wrong, the food there is… something, but they don’t have hot dogs. I  _ love  _ hot dogs. Josh took me out for some after he finished working once, and they are  _ delicious.  _ Have you had any recently? I think you might need them, you look thinner! You need more food. Do I need to have words with that Stark of yours? All that money, I bet it makes him so stingy.” 

“Brio, it’s good to see you too,” you giggle at the tirade you were met with. Brio’s grin stretches wider. 

“Yes, of course it is. Now answer.” 

“Uh, yes, Loki’s still on Asgard. I know what hot dogs are. I’ve been eating just fine, thank you,” you hum, pausing for a moment. “And Tony can be stingy  _ sometimes _ ,” 

“AHA! I knew it!” He looks triumphant for a moment, but it fades. “How are  _ you  _ though? I know it’s been rough, hmm? Can’t hide from good ol’ Brio.” 

“Yeah, it’s been… better. I adopted a cat,” you admit. Brio squeals excitedly. 

“Oh, I’m so happy for you! That’s great, I’m so glad you’re happier. Because I didn’t want to ask this if you weren’t in a good spot but…” curiosity piqued, you listen enraptured, “No, I can’t ask this of you.” 

Your brows furrow in disappointment at his words, and Brio looks away and coughs with red cheeks. 

“Wha- I want to hear it. You let me decide.” 

“Ah- Joshy said it wouldn’t be good until you were  _ really super duper  _ ready,” he says sheepishly. 

“I love you, and I love Josh, but I can make that decision for myself. I’ll never be fully ready, but I have to try.” 

“You make a good point,” he sighs, groaning loudly and pulling on his long braid, “I’m not going to have kiss privileges after this, I’m going to be in so much trouble!! Alright. Um, the store is having a little itty bitty festival by the library, full of music and food, and I wanted to ask if you, my star pupil, would like to perform a song- of course, you don’t have to! Don’t feel pressured! In fact, maybe you shouldn’t-” 

“No,” you touch his shoulder and smile, “I want to.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments, questions, concerns!! 
> 
> (ps. what goes up, must come down)


	58. 4-11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you have to sing.

The day of the performance. It’s not really a recital or anything but… it feels that way. Many people. Many prying eyes. Everyone from the library is there and some of your family, of course, but… Loki won’t be. You crumble the letter in your hands and shut your eyes tightly. 

Loki returned your letter with a firm but kind rejection. He won’t be coming for your song. You had hoped he’d be there to hear it: in his own words, he loathes to miss such an event but he can’t leave Asgard. There’s some sort of political treaty being renewed, and even with Frigga helping him cover his tracks, Odin’s been watching him more closely after the last time. You sigh, letting Vero crawl onto your lap on your bed, wiping away the moisture from your eyes. 

“He’s not coming, my little hero. It’s- it’s expected, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt any less. Anyone would think that we’re not even together anymore. It’s been… what… 5 months since I left Asgard? How long is he going to keep this up?” Vero nips at your hand as your hand pets him a little too harshly. “You’re right, I have to go now anyway.” 

You wipe the cat hair off your lap, making sure that the flowy green dress you’d donned isn’t ruined, gently moving the considerably larger kitten to the side, and prepare to leave. You had originally planned to use the violin Brio has been teaching you but… you eye your guitar. Despite the plan, you grab the guitar that Loki had gifted you and barely have the time to mentally prepare yourself before you throw yourself into a portal. You land right in front of the library: the park next door is awash with picnickers, musicians, and patrons of the library. It’s… a much bigger event than you’d originally thought. There’s a good couple hundred people here, several small business caterers, and a large stage to perform on. People take notice of you almost immediately: whispers abound. 

“Oh my, that’s that bird Avenger-” 

“She’s been a little reclusive lately…” 

“I came here for her, it’s the only reason I go to that library- and she never even shows up!” 

“Oh yeah, she ‘plays’ music- how good could it really be? Maybe that’s what she’s been doing this whole time...” 

Your shoulders slump, wings blocking your face. It really has been a long time since you’ve gone out, officially. A lot of sneaking around, not a lot of  _ doing _ . Missions? When they apply to you. But nothing like the galavanting around that you did with Loki. You swallow, glancing at the people around you, trying to find Brio or Josh or literally anyone. 

You catch Josh walking by with a smile and a plate of scones, and you try to make it over to him without seeming like you’re running to him. He notices you immediately, your nervous stance right after. 

“Hey there, Smiley. I got you, don’t worry,” He hugs you tightly, “I’m so glad you could make it! You need to get out more,” 

“Hah, I’m starting to notice that,” you laugh shrilly. Josh frowns and investigates your face more closely. 

“Don’t listen to those people, you’re going through a rough breakup-” 

“No, I’m not,” you say, sternly and slightly betrayed, “We’re just long distance. We’re still together. The second Loki gets back here we’re picking right back up,” you show him the ring insistently. Josh sighs. 

“I don’t like this. Take a look at what's happening to you, Smiles. I can barely even call you that! I rarely see you cuz you don’t leave the house, and when I do, you don’t even smile much! Hell, you don’t even smile nearly as much! Sometimes not at all,” he sighs heavily and runs a hand through his hair. “Only do this if it’s going to make you happy. I don’t want to push you, and I already chastised Brio about it. You’re going through a rough patch and I don’t want to make it worse,” 

You exhale sharply. He’s right. If Brio hadn’t invited you here, you probably wouldn’t even know it was going on. You’d have no clue. It would pass over you and you’d been none the wiser. He- it’s so clear, he cares so much. You can’t argue with him, because he’s right and he’s genuine. 

“This is going to make me happy, I’m always happy making music,” you hum. Josh looks at you worriedly. 

“If you say so. Scone?” 

You smile at him, maybe a little intently, and then accept the scone. It’s delicious and buttery, chocolate and orange. 

“Josh, did you  _ make  _ this?” 

“Yesmm! I told you I’d make a fantastic housewife,” he winks. You giggle. 

“Since the day I saw you with an apron and lemonade while seducing Captain America, I knew,” you laugh. Josh blushes slightly but smiles cockily anyway. 

“What can I say, I’m irresistible even to 100 year old coots,” 

“I’m going to tell him you said that,” 

“You will do no such thing if you still want wifey’s home cooking,” he pokes your nose with a playful smirk. You nod solemnly. 

“Can’t piss off mama, she’s old and might not take it well,” 

“How dare you- I am in my  _ prime _ , ask Brio,” he scoffs, then looks to the stage where a quartet of flutes is just finishing up. “Speaking of, you should go find him: he’s at the front. You’re up soon, I believe,” 

“Thanks. For everything, Josh,” he smiles. 

“Go and get em,” 

You wave and weave through the crowd to get to Brio, a little pep in your step prompting you to flutter upwards slightly, who’s situated at a small table by the stage. He’s dressed in a fine purple silken robe, tied around his waist. His long hair is done in a complicated braid that wraps around his head. He notices you immediately and a smile spreads across his features. 

“My singing sparrow has arrived! The star of the show, truly, a voice like an angel and just as talented as I with the strings. Maybe I’ll introduce you like that! Introducing, Angel! Ah, I know you don’t like the name, but you must say that it’s a catchy title, eh?” Brio greets you energetically, shaking your hand and looking for your violin. “Wait- did you-” 

“There’s been a change of plans,” you say nervously, “I hope that’s okay. But- I felt a surge of inspiration to do a different tune.” 

“How could I decline a divine intervention by music? That’s quite alright. What are you planning on singing, then?” 

“Saturday’s In The Park? It’s a song by Chicago. It’s very pretty and catchy, and- well, it’s uplifting,” you smile softly. Brio grins. 

“It sounds wonderful. You’re up next, by the way,” you panic slightly, floundering. Is it really going to be okay? 

“You’ve got this, Fae! You’re fantastic, and Loki would be so proud of you,” you smile wetly, mouthing a thanks, and then shakily walking up to the stage. Through the megaphone, Brio introduces you: 

“Next on stage, our very own angel, Fae! Singing Saturdays In The Park, with her guitar made by yours truly.” 

You cast him a glare before smiling awkwardly at the crowd that claps for you. 

“So- I guess- I’ll just start,” you take a deep breath and calm yourself before starting. 

“ _ Saturday in the park, I think it was the Fourth of July… Saturday in the park, I think it was the Fourth of July _ ,” your voice shakes a little as you strum your guitar. “ _ People dancing, people laughing- A man selling ice cream, singing Italian songs… Everybody is another, can you dig it? And I've been waiting such a long time for Saturday _ …” 

You sing the next two stanzas with more confidence, your wings spreading behind you as you smile. The audience cheers as your voice rises for the next lines. 

“ _ Slow motion riders fly the colors of the day. A bronze man still can tell stories his own way. Listen children all is not lost, all is not lost, oh no, no- Funny days in the park, every day's the Fourth of July. Funny days in the park, every day's the Fourth of July. People reaching, people touching, A real celebration waiting for us all. If we want it, really want it. Can you dig it. And I've been waiting such a long time… for the day, yeah yeah…”  _

The next moments are a blur. Cheering, someone helping you offstage, an almost drunken joy. Things are happening around you but your heart is only looking for one person and they’re not here. 

_ I want Loki.  _

You excuse yourself from the festivities with a plastered smile, and make a portal to Asgard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns!!


	59. 4-12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you go to Loki. Finally.

When you step through the portal, you’re not at the golden gates of Asgard. You’re on a huge branch of a gigantic tree. Looking up, you see that the branches curve into infinity, into a sky with no limits. You know what it is immediately, from Loki’s teachings and from the art in Asgard. 

This is Yggdrasil. The World Tree. 

All of your worry and fear washes away, and you’re only in awe as you look around. Walking to the edge, you see that it goes down forever. It’s a magical place, one where it is only fit to fly. The scent that lingers in the air is intoxicating and feels like home. This is the tree where you were supposed to be raised in, this is the tree that grew the Moors and grew all the places in the universe. This is where your ancestors were raised. 

You’re not in Asgard: this is way better. You touch the trunk of the tree delicately. 

// _ Hello, child. It has been quite a long time.// _

You startle and fall back: Yggdrasil has a voice, more clear than any other tree you’ve ever communed with, clearer than Maleficent. It’s voice is deep and unwavering, genderless but comforting. 

“Hello?” It laughs, in a weird way. Perhaps not to be confused with a human’s laugh: it’s not “haha” but something more. 

// _ Yes. Hello. It’s been quite a long time since one of my darling Fae visited me.//  _

“I bet… I think I’m the last one. I’m sorry,” something about the World Tree eliminates any want to sugarcoat it. It deserves the truth and nothing but. 

// _ I know. I know. But do you know?//  _

“What? What- what am I missing?” 

// _ You don’t. It’s clear. I should not be the one to tell you. _ // 

“What do you mean? Are my parents alive? My family? Or- dead?” 

// _ I can’t tell you. _ // 

“Then… what am I doing here? Why did my portal take me here and not Asgard?” 

// _ I connect all the realms: what do you think your portals take from, child? You’re flitting around my branches to this day. _ // 

_ So that’s how my portals work: it’s all connected to here.  _

“So, do I get my magic from here? This is where it all starts?” 

// _ Your Fae abilities all once stemmed from here, from your ancestors _ ... // 

“Wow… that’s incredible. This place… it feels so comforting. Like I could stay here forever.” 

// _ I wouldn’t suggest it. You have a destination, no? _ //

“You’re right, I do. Can… people who transform into Fae travel this way too?” 

// _ You’re speaking of Loki, the trickster god? _ //

“Ah! Yes!” 

// _ No. He is still Loki, no matter what form he chooses. He is not a true Fae, or even a descendant. _ // 

“I guess that makes sense.” There are so many more questions to ask, things to guess… answers that Yggdrasil could field. But… it’s been so cryptic already, presumably it won’t actually help. Only make more questions. “What about Maleficent? Does she know you?” 

// _ Hah. Yes. Yes, she does. She is part of me now… her body is mine. _ // 

“That’s why we become trees… because that's what we were at the beginning?” 

// _ Exactly. _ // 

“I’m learning so much! I feel like… I feel like I should stay,” it’s true. There’s a pull here, a desperate pull to stay in the leaves forever. To be nourished by magic alone and stay. It’s like what you feel with Loki: a love that flows beneath everything else. Something underlying that feels like coming home, every time you jump into his arms. 

// _ Go to him. You know how. _ // 

“But-” the branches around you shake, and you fall to your knees to regain balance. 

// _ It’s not a choice. Your kind does not belong here anymore. You’ve evolved beyond it. This is not your home.  _ // 

There’s something so painful, so inherently betraying, about its words. It hits you in the chest… you don’t belong, you don’t belong. Tears spring to your eyes. 

“Why- I want to stay. It feels- it feels so much better here-” 

// _ That doesn’t mean you’re meant to be here. I can tell you truthfully that you do not. Go live your life, waste no more time in this limbo. You are no less Dark Fae than your ancestors: you are more. More than that. That is why you do not belong. _ // 

“O-okay. I-” you’re blushing, of course, you are, and choose not to finish your sentence. Rather, you fly amongst the branches, dancing through the leaves, until you reach somewhere that feels right. 

// _ Goodbye now. Perhaps you’ll return _ .//

It’s not a question or even a plea, but you answer it like one. 

“Count on it.”

You make a portal and step through. When you take your next breath, you’re dumped unceremoniously upon Loki’s desk. 

The man in question stands up, startled, and gapes. 

“Darling…?” you laugh breathlessly and look up to his astonished expression. He’s changed, only slightly: only in a way you’d notice. The slight hollowing of his cheeks. The barely noticeable bags beneath his eyes. The way his hair is a little bit messier. Tears bead at the corners of his eyes as his chest rises and falls in quick succession. “My darling- you’re here? You’re here. Oh Norns…” he sobs, clapping a hand over his mouth to try and hide it. You sit up and slide off the desk to embrace him. 

Loki’s arms surround you tightly, and he squeezes you to his chest. His hand tangles in your hair, and the other pulls you closer. 

“My darling, my darling, you’re  _ here _ \- Norns, you’re really here,” he sobs into your hair, his voice breaking. 

“Right here, mon minou. I- I missed you so much. Performing wasn’t as good without you…” 

“I’m sorry I missed it, I’m sorry… I’ve been trying every day. To get out of this hell. I want- I want to be with you again. I hate it here. I want- I want you to hold me in your arms and just- just let me be there forever. I wish we could go back.” 

“Oh, mon minou… do you want to-” before you can even finish, Loki’s shifted into cat form and nestles in your arms. You smile and sit in his comfortable desk chair, petting Lokitty gently. “I missed you so much, my kitten. I’m sorry it’s so hard for you. But even this…” you sigh contently, scratching between his ears, “It feels so much better. I missed you so much. I can’t stop saying it- it’s just. It’s been so long.” 

“Mew,” he purrs in your arms, snuggling in closer to you. You chuckle, flaring your wings once before wrapping them around the two of you. Lokitty looks up at you, wide green eyes peering at you imploringly. You lift him up to eye level and bump your noses together. He meows, then poofs back into Asgardard form. He pulls your face back to his, pushing your foreheads together. 

“Loki…” you whisper: he murmurs your name over and over. 

“I love you so much. Stay with me. Stay…” 

“Loki, you know I can’t. I want to but- is it safe? Can you tell me that I can stay here and be safe?”

Loki opens his mouth, then closes it and looks away. He swallows before he shakes his head. 

“I simply- my love. I want to be with you again. I want to wake up and see your face, I want to make breakfast with you, I want to kiss every corner of your body, and I want you. I want you so badly. My love,” he leans up and cups your chin, tracing your jawline, “May I kiss you?” 

“You may.” 

Loki’s lips are as plush as ever, though a little cracked, and you can’t help but moan into it. Loki rocks forward, his tongue slipping between your lips and exploring your mouth. You gasp, working in tandem with him, kissing him with everything you’ve missed over the past few months. When you finally break for air, you’re already undoing his breeches. 

“Darling, are you sure-?” 

“Of course. I want you, just as much if not more than you,” Loki’s eyes shine with love and he can’t resist from stealing another kiss. You giggle breathlessly, reaching up to pull on his hair. He moans, and then it cuts off. Suddenly alert, Loki’s head whips to the door. 

“Someone set off my wards. They’re on the way now. Hide,” you push Loki off your lap, and hide under his large desk, layering illusion after illusion on your horns, your wings, and yourself included. You curl up beneath the desk, and Loki sits in his chair and uses magic to push himself right to your body. You hear the door open, and Loki greets them.

“Ah, hello, Viscount. To what do I owe this pleasure?” 

They start talking, statistics and forms and work, and you sit. Idle, annoyed… more than a bit miffed that he came in when you were just starting to get to…  _ oh.  _ Now that’s an idea. 

**~~sex~~**

You finish undoing his pants and remove his hardening cock from them. Running your hand up and down it, Loki’s thigh twitches as it comes to full attention. You have to hold in a happy sigh at the beauty of this man, at his gorgeousness from head to toe. He's too beautiful for words. 

You strain upwards to kiss the tip, and Loki’s speech stumbles. You continue working him, using your hand at the base and mouthing at what you can reach. Taking him into your mouth, you suck him hard. Loki has to stifle a moan. 

“Grand Advisor? Are you quite alright?” 

“Y-yes. I’m simply tired.” 

“You’ve seem ‘tired’ often lately. I suggest that you move on from whatever you were doing previously, in your past life, and get to the point where you’re living here. In the present. This is your life now.” You stop, shrinking back. There are so many things  _ wrong  _ with what he said. Losing your appetite for pleasuring Loki, you lie back against the hardwood of Loki’s desk. Ground yourself. 

“Of course,” the Viscount leaves, and Loki pushes back from the desk, looking down on you. His face is flushed, and his eyes are a bright green. 

“Well?” Loki growls, “Get on with it. Finish me off.” You swallow and strip of your illusions, crawling up to his crotch. He snaps his fingers, ridding himself of his trousers completely. You dutifully move to take him into your mouth, opening your jaw as wide as possible, and sucking him hard. “Norns, woman. I might cum just from that look on your face. I’ve missed you, missed this… you make me feel so good.” 

You continue on him for minutes more, and then Loki grunts, pulling on your horn as he cums suddenly. Swallowing it all down, you look up at him with dewy eyes. Loki stops his moaning with post-orgasmic bliss immediately to hold your face.

“What’s wrong, my love?” 

“You’re still… coming home, right? You don’t want to be here, you’re not standing stagnant? You’re really really trying?” His eyes glimmer and he pulls you up for a deep kiss. 

“Of course.” 

“To the  _ best  _ of your ability?” 

“Of course!” 

As Loki’s fingers dance downwards to play with you, you barely pay any attention to the faint lie you detect in his words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, questions, concerns!


	60. 4-13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you deal with the aftermath of visiting Loki. And make some decisions.

“You have to leave,” Loki whispers, his hands playing with your hair. He seems almost amazed by it, stricken by the strands between his fingers. 

“But you said- you  _ demanded  _ that I stay,” you frown at him, confused. Loki’s jaw works as he looks downcast. 

“I’m sorry. I truly am. I want you to stay so badly but- you can’t,” 

“We’ve hidden so well so far,” you remind him, dancing your fingers down his bare chest. You’re in bed with him, the comfortable warm bed, snuggled right up to his chest after hours of activity and a few moments of sleep. He was insatiable, having his way over and over and over. You exhale a puff of air at the memory. And now… Loki seems so ashamed, so distressed. 

“You don’t belong here- err… it’s not safe. It truly isn’t. And- I know I said that I’d be home so soon, and I know it’s already been-” 

“Nearly 6 months now,” 

“Half a year,” his voice breaks, “It’s been so long. Norns… could you ever forgive me, my love?” he kisses your hand, brows furrowed in shame. 

“There’s nothing to forgive,” you insist, “You don’t want to be here either,” 

“Not in this state, no,” he sighs, “I fear I’m being tangled in deeper. Each time I do away with something, two more things take its place. Mother is… increasingly less and less helpful in aiding me. I presume it’s the acting. Acting in that I’m happy here, I mean,” 

“But you’re not, are you?” you look up at him, his strong jawline and sparkling eyes, and silently beg him to be truthful. Perhaps he’s forgotten that you can sense the lies, perhaps he’s forgotten that they are lies himself, but you desperately want to hear him say that he wants to be with you and is unhappy without you. Because you are: deeply so. 

And it almost feels like… you’re being toyed with. That this is just some game to him. It’s not for you. It’s your _ life.  _

“No. I’m not happy here,” he says it straight, and with no sense of a lie whatsoever. You smile at him and press your lips to his. He smiles, stealing one more before letting you go. 

“I love you. So much, Loki. And- you’re allowed to be happy, I’m not crazy and I want you to be happy but,” you sigh, “I miss you so much. I had to- I got a cat, Vero, and I think him and the Avengers are the only reason I haven’t spiraled yet-” 

“One moment- you have a new kitten now? Am I no longer ‘mon minou’? You’re mine, first and foremost,” he growls, poking one of his many love-marks on your body. You giggle, smoothing out his eyebrows. 

“Of course. He’s a friend, you’re the love of my life,” you chuckle. He nods fiercely. 

“I’m still better than him, right? I was the best kitten?” 

“You are the best kitten, yes,” you smile at Loki, scratching behind his ears, “But he’s the kitten that’s with me. Vero cuddles me when I cry, and plays with my feathers, and sits with me. You send me letters and unfulfilled promises,” you hold up the ring, and Loki presses his hand to yours, “So you can see the comparison right now. You cannot say I’m yours without letting you be mine. And right now… it feels like you belong to Asgard and your father more than you belong to me,” 

“I’m yours. Now and forever. You will always- always- hold my heart. Do not speak of it like it’s anything other than pure adoration,” he speaks truthfully and lovingly, pressing your foreheads together. “I’ll work harder. Be a touch riskier. I can’t have you get away from me.” 

“Hurry up then, mon minou,” you whisper, “I’m not waiting for you forever. I have a life still, you know?” 

“I know,” he exclaims, separating from you to lie on his back, “I know that. I just- I wish that I was part of it.” 

“You are part of it! But now you’re a sort of achy uncertain part that hurts my heart,” you roll atop of him, placing your legs on each side of his chest, and then cup his face. “I love you. And I want you to be in my life forever. But…” 

“Wait for me. Wait for me, please. I’ll be there soon. I promise you. I’ll be there soon and I’ll marry you and I’ll never leave your side.” 

You kiss his forehead softly. 

“Listen to me, Loki. I’ll wait as long as I’m able. And… well. Don’t do anything silly, okay? I know that you’ve always wanted this,” 

“No,” he interrupts, his eyes teary again, “I want  _ you _ -” 

“You can want both, minou.” Loki leans forward, putting his head between his knees. 

“No, you don’t understand, I  _ need  _ you, it hurts to be without you… I want- I want you to be with me. More than you could ever know or understand. So badly, my dear. So  _ badly _ ,” you nod at his words and pull him back into an embrace. 

“Minou… I’m not stopping you from coming to see me. Think about that,” you kiss his head and Loki whimpers. You give him a worried look: “You’re the one who said I have to leave, darling.” 

“I know, I know, I know- I don’t want it though…” he sighs heavily and kisses your neck, “You shouldn’t come back here.” 

“What?” 

“I mean, this is the first and last time you should be doing this escapade. Don’t portal back to me.” 

“But I want to  _ see  _ you, Loki,” he looks away unsurely, drawing shapes on your thigh. 

“I’ll start working on something. So we can communicate.” 

“Like a telephone?” 

He laughs and pulls out of your embrace to peck your lips. 

“Like a telephone, yes. A seeing mirror. So that we can see each other more,” he smiles gently, and you can’t help but smile forgivingly. There’s something about him, something inexplicable, that makes you forgive him every time. That makes your heart melt. He’s so different around others, so brittle and distant, but with you? It’s all softness and love. 

“I love you.” 

Loki’s eyes water again and his mouth purses. 

“I love you too, my darling,” he kisses you softly, “I’ll visit you soon. Now go, my love.” 

He smiles at you even as he starts to cry when your magic on your clothing and open a portal home. 

**Loki**

Loki curls in on himself, heart-wrenching sobs sounding from his chest. You had to leave, you had to- 

“It hurts though, it hurts-” he sobs. He grabs at where the portal was, his heart spasming in his ribcage, and unbidden tears streaming down his face, “Come back! Come back to me, please- please please please-"

He wipes at his eyes, pulling the sheet you were lying in and bringing it to his nose. He laughs shrilly and snuggles into it. 

“There you are, there you are, my love, my love, you  _ love  _ me,” he sobs, laughing intermediately as he cries, rocking back and forth. Loki’s hands shake as he holds it, and feathers start to fall out. He gasps and gatherers them up, putting them into his pocket dimension immediately. It’ll help him, help him feel better. Someone triggers his wards: halfheartedly, he puts up an illusion and stays in his nest of sheets. 

“Shh… shh… I’ll protect you,” his hands shake as he clasps the sheets, “I’ve got you.” Loki pulls the sheets to cover his face. He moans into them, rubbing his body on the fabric to igraine your scent into his skin. 

“Loki… you drop that illusion right now.” 

Frigga. 

Loki groans, snuggling into the messy sheets even deeper. 

“I don’t want to talk right now. Leave me alone,” he says, his voice gravelly and worn. Frigga ignores him and strips the illusion: she gasps inwardly when she sees him. Her nose wrinkles at the heady smell of sex in the air.

“My son… I told you not to see her until you could stay! It’s too dangerous. See what’s become of you?” 

Loki whimpers and looks away. 

“She came to me, Mother. She came to me-” he sobs, wrapping his arms around himself, “She loves me so much. She- she needs me to go back to her-” 

“Alright… let’s try and figure out a visit? How about that?” she gently sits on the edge of the bed, and Loki hisses at her, moving to the other side of the bed. “Don’t be like that, Loki. I’m just trying to help.” 

He relaxes and watches her with narrowed eyes. You had been in that spot mere hours before. 

“I want to stay with her. I never want to come back here, all I want is her.”

“Darling,” she reaches over and pets his hair, handing him a vial of potion from her sleeve for Loki to drink, “We both know that’s not true.” 

**You**

When you step back into the Compound, you try to sneak into your room: it’s dark outside. The moment you walk into the hallway, though, the alarms ring.

“Friday, what the heck??” you whisper-shout. 

“I was instructed to ring the alarm whenever you returned,” 

“Whenever- I was just at the concert!” 

“The concert was two days ago, Fae.” 

You gasp- that means that… some eighteen hours in Asgard… is 48 in Midgard. 

“Shit-” as you curse, Tony and Steve come barrelling down the hall. Steve immediately wraps you up into a bear hug, squeezing you. 

“Where were you? I swear, don’t you  _ dare  _ do that again, I was  _ this  _ close to tearing up the entire planet,” Tony berates you as Steve squeezes, and you give him an apologetic smile. 

“Ah… I’m sorry… I went to see Loki. I forgot about the time difference,” 

“SERIOUSLY? That’s what you did, you went and saw  _ Reindeer Games _ … of fucking course! I was running around, fucking crying because I let you- I let you go and I thought you were kidnapped or worse! Kid…” he sobs, resting his head in his hand, “Kid, I was so fucking scared. I was scared shitless.” The other Avengers start coming in, Vision and Wanda and Pietro and Natasha and Clint and Peter and Scott and they all wrap around you.

“Oh… I’m sorry.” 

“Fuck. I’m just glad you’re okay. Don’t do that again, at least without warning us, okay? You’re- we love you. We all love you so much. Fuck! I love you, okay? Don’t scare me like that,” he walks up and wraps his arms around you too: your wings flutter a little, caged, and you flush deeply. 

“I love you guys too,” you smile, relenting into the hug. 

You had felt a hole, a hole inside of your heart that it had felt like only Loki could fill right… but this… this makes you feel more than whole. 

“I’m not going to go back there. I’ll stay here, with you guys… it’s so lovely,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments questions concerns!!


	61. 4-14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which you love your job.

_ Dear Loki,  _

_ This is hard for me to say, but, I think I’m starting to move on.  _

You groan and crumble the letter again. Vero meows in delight as he swats at the paper, pouncing. You chuckle at him before turning to your work. Trying to draft a letter to the love of your life saying you think he’s holding him back from your life is… hard, to say the least. 

_ Dearest Loki, Love of my life…  _

_ I can’t do this anymore. You’re ostracizing me from my family, and you don’t even seem to care. Or really know, which I can’t blame you for but-  _

Another paper thrown to Vero. There’s a knock at the door, and then Vision phases through. You turn to him, chuckling. 

“Vis, I think I told you that you had to knock first…” 

“I did?” 

“Knock and then  _ ask _ ,” 

“Oh… let me try once more.” He phases back through the door, and you giggle as he repeats the motions again, followed by a polite clipped: “May I come in?” 

“You may.” Vision phases back through the door, and you stand to give him a hug. He releases a puff of air and returns the embrace gently. 

“How… how are things?” he asks hesitantly.

“Um… they’re okay… it’s just. I’m trying to write Loki a letter,” you step back, reaching down to confiscate the scraps of paper from Vero and picking him up. You pet his tiny head, holding him in your arms, and sit back at the desk. Vision follows you, and peers over your shoulder. 

“That paper is blank.” 

“Yes,” you laugh, “Yes, why yes it is, Captain Obvious. It’s because I can’t find the words to really… say what I mean. It’s been some… what, 7 months now? I need to start enjoying what I have here. He’s not everything, you know? I want to work on me.” 

“Understandable. Have you considered getting out of the house? Going on a mission?” You perk up and look at him curiously. Vero mewls. 

“Is there one I could do? Alone?” Vision looks into the distance and thinks. 

“There’s one that is loosely tied to Peter Parker, but otherwise solitary. Something to do with a goo monster. So yes,” you brighten and stand up, snapping your fingers to shift into your mission uniform. 

“I’ll take it. Entertain Vero while I’m out, would you?” You gingerly place Vero in Vision’s arms: the android softens as he pets Vero’s head. The wayward kitten of yours hisses as first, but laxes into it. 

“He is… sweet.” 

“Yes, yes he is,” you reach up and kiss Vision’s cheek, “Thank you for always looking out for me.” 

“It is my pleasure.” 

~~~

So far, this mission is doing nothing to ease your mind. Or even take it off of anything: it’s just perching at a rooftop, waiting for something to happen. There’s nothing happening so far… just you people watching. 

_ There’s a lot of couples out today _ , you remark to yourself. Your mind drifts back to the date you had had… where the most emotional thing was that he didn’t want people to know about you. How soft he’d been. How patient as he’d explained, how deeply he cared. How he didn’t want to see you hurt. A tear trickles down your cheek, and you quickly wipe it away. 

You know in that moment, that no matter how full you feel with your family, you’ll always miss him. Is it because he was your first love? Is it because he was like that? So sweet, and thoughtful… what happened? You twiddle our fingers and shake the thoughts away. It doesn’t even concern you. 

A voice clears his throat to call your attention behind you: you startle and jump up to face him. A man, looking scruffy and weary, is standing on the roof. 

“Uh… hey. You okay?” 

“Oh! I’m fine,” you smile at him, standing up to meet him. Making your wings bigger intimidatingly, you approach him. He twitches, and throws his head to the side. You give him an odd look.  _ Is he okay?  _ “Um… how did you get up here, friend?” 

“Just- just you know, jumped up,” 

“Jumped… up?” He nods and gives you a shaky smile, tapping his foot here and there. Almost like he wasn’t in control of it. “What’s your name?” 

“Eddie Brock, ma’am. And you’re- you’re an Avenger, right? That-” he jerks his foot back, “That Fae.”

“Yes, that’s me… do you need help, sir?” you approach him carefully. 

“No, we’re- we’re fine,” you raise your eyebrow and sit down on the roof. 

“We?” 

Eddie follows suit and sits down, his body trembling. 

“My… my friend wants to meet you. He’s a bit rough… um-” 

“Oh… sure. Okay,” you smile at him patiently. You swallow, not in fear but in shock, as black goo encompases his form. And teeth. Big white eyes and big teeth. “Wow… hello. What’s your name, big guy?” 

“We are Venom,” his voice is gravelly and unnerving, but you do your best to smile at him and be calm. 

“Hello, Venom. What’s up?” 

You end up talking for a while: they’ve come across the nation to search for others like him. They… they thought Spiderman would be like them, as they exhibited similar abilities. That’s not the case. And he thought to talk to you. 

“You… you are from the universe, are you not?” 

“What? No, I’m from here. Asgard by extension, I guess…” 

“Huh… this was a waste of time, Eddie.” “You were the one who told us to come here!” They separate, Venom splitting from his body. You can only assume that he’s pouting, and chuckle. 

“Sorry for the letdown,” _Why would I be from space?_ You give him a confused smile. _It doesn't matter, I presume._

“Hey, if anything changes… call me,” Eddie hands you a card, and then jumps away.  _ He really does jump.  _

You look down at the card and smile. 

_ My job really is something special, isn’t it?  _

~~~

_Dear Loki,_

_I think I'm coming into my own more. I'm glad that you've helped me so much in that regard. But I have to say... I feel like our dynamic is different. We're not two parts of a whole. I'm me and you're you. We're whole people. I wait for you to return with much excitement. But perhaps less desperation. I hope you come into yourself more in our time apart just as I do._

_All my love,_

_Fae, of the Avengers._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's so short... i've been working on other things sjsjsj

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, want to talk about Come Home? 
> 
> Come on over to Tumblr! A lot of fun things are gonna happen over there... polls! Q&A! Bonus snippets! Sneak peeks of the following day's chapters!
> 
> https://lehuka123.tumblr.com/
> 
> The Spotify playlist for this fic: https://open.spotify.com/user/q2006roub9jadg4vxb20j0zqo/playlist/75Xk3xQSetZrCLOuSWs6Bj?si=NdkxdWSaTeOiSr_PJvW2EA


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